The Doctor sat in silence with River in his arms. She was alive. That was really all he could think about. River was alive. Tired, in a lot of pain, but alive. The baby was gone, but River wasn't. It had been nearly a week of back and forth on whether or not she would survive, but she had.

River woke up and interrupted his thoughts. "Doctor." She said quietly as she tried to stretch her muscles out.

"How are you feeling?" He asked her quietly.

River thought about it for a minute. "Not bad." She replied honestly. "I'm sore… but nothings in throbbing pain…"

The Doctor smiled before leaning down so his lips met hers. "You… are wonderful." He informed her reverently.

"Where's mum?" River asked softly as she examined The Doctors face.

"She went to the market with Anthony. They'll be back soon." He replied quietly. "Do you want something to eat?"

River shook her head. "I'm really not hungry."

The Doctor nodded as he gently took her hand in his. "I'm sorry River."

River shook her head once more. "I really don't want to have this conversation." She said quietly. "It just wasn't the right time I guess. If the Universe meant for us to have a child right now, we would have one."

The Doctor looked at her, trying to hide his worry. "We can try again…" He said quietly.

River shook her head. "Doctor…" She said quietly. "I'm not a mother."

"River you would be a wonderful mother… the best mother." The Doctor tried to convince her.

"I don't want a baby right now!" River suddenly snapped. "I almost died! I don't know if I'll ever want a baby!"

The Doctor was taken aback. He sighed before getting up from the bed. "I'll be back in a moment." He said before going out of the room and heading for the kitchen.

He poured himself a glass of milk and sat down on the counter as he drank it.

"Doctor!" Amy's voice rang through the apartment as the front door opened. "Anthony has something to tell you!"

The Doctor didn't respond, but waited for Amy to find him. It only took a few seconds as Amy needed to put away groceries anyway.

"Doctor?" She asked him gently. "What's wrong?" She asked immediately, assuming the worst.

"I'm just thinking." He said quietly as Anthony grabbed onto his trousers. He gently picked up the toddler and held him in his arms.

"Doctor River's fine…" Amy reminded him.

The Doctor nodded. "But she's never going to want to have another baby. She's too frightened."

Amy smiled sympathetically. "She's terrified Doctor." She reminded him quietly. "I didn't want a baby for years after we lost Melody. It's just going to take time."

"We don't have time!" He replied angrily. He had been concerned before when he realized River had been pregnant because it was too early. The TARDIS had landed them in 1956, March. Jessica would be born there in a year.

"What do you mean we don't have time?" Amy asked suspiciously.

"Spoilers." The Doctor said quietly.

"Wait a minute… Have you met your child?" Amy asked immediately intrigued.

"It's a long story and I really shouldn't know about any of it." The Doctor admitted. "I don't even know if it's a fixed point or not."

"Everything will work out." Amy said, sounding very sure of herself. "In the meantime why don't you take Anthony to see his older sister."

The Doctor got down from the counter and took Anthony with him to the bedroom River was in. "River…" The Doctor said quietly as he opened the door. He found her wide awake and sitting up in bed.

"River!" Anthony said excitedly.

River smiled at her little brother, but The Doctor could see the pain she was hiding inside.

The Doctor sat in the window seat as he watched his wife interact with her little brother. He honestly couldn't see how River couldn't know how wonderful of a mother she would be. He understood that she was scared, and justifiably so, but she loved spending time with Anthony.

"Doctor?" River asked him quietly as she continued to play with her brother.

"Yes?" He replied, intrigued immediately.

"Do you want… a baby?" She asked nervously.

The Doctor didn't know what to say. He didn't want to pressure her, but he also knew he couldn't lie to her.

"Earlier today I didn't mean to not let you speak… You lost a baby too. It's not fair of me to determine today that we can't ever have another child." River said quietly, unable to meet his eyes.

The Doctor shook his head. "Shhhh." He hushed her. "We don't have to decide today… I would just like it if the possibility wasn't entirely ruled out."

River nodded as she pulled Anthony into her arms tightly. "I love you." She mouthed to him as she held her brother.

"I love you too." He mouthed back.

It was nearly a month later and the progress on the TARDIS wasn't much. River and The Doctor had begun to fabricate their lives in New York so that Amy and Rory's neighbor's wouldn't question their presence there long term.

The Doctor and River had decidedly become different relatives of Amy and Rory's. River was Rory's sister and The Doctor was obviously her husband. They were staying with Amy and Rory while The Doctor was taking classes at Columbia University.

Amy and River were busy preparing for Anthony's fourth birthday party that night while The Doctor was 'at his classes' and Rory was at work.

"Anthony what kind of cake do you want?" River called to her little brother.

He quickly ran from his bedroom where he had been playing with his toys and to the kitchen where his sister and mother were waiting. "Chocolate!" He said excitedly as he bounded through the door and into River's legs.

"Careful there." River said gently as she picked up her little brother. "Are you sure you don't want strawberry?" She teased him.

Anthony made a disgusted face. "No." He said as he stuck out his tongue. "It's pink." He said disgustedly.

"Now there's nothing wrong with pink." Amy reminded him. "It's not just a girl color, boys can like pink too."

Anthony shook his head. "No they can't." He informed his mother importantly.

Amy shook her head as she pulled out the cocoa from the cabinet. "Alright chocolate it is."

Anthony smiled as he wrapped his arms lovingly around his older sister's neck. "Can I have kisses?" He asked his older sister.

River laughed. "Of course." She said before pressing kisses all over her brother's face.

Anthony giggled before he shook his head and hid his face in her chest.

"Alright mister." River said firmly. "It is time for your nap."

"NONONONONONONONONO!" Anthony began to try to struggle against River's grip. River tried her best but stopped short when Anthony's foot collided with her abdomen.

River groaned, visibly in pain as she tried to keep her brother from falling to the ground.

Amy quickly grabbed Anthony from River's arms and set him on the ground before returning her attention to River. "Breathe… It's okay." Amy tried to comfort her daughter.

River nodded feeling the pain begin to ease away. She wanted everything to be back to normal. Instead there were constant reminders about what had happened and she couldn't seem to escape them.

"I'm sorry." Anthony cried quietly.

"Oh sweetie." River tried to calm him. "It's okay."

Amy leaned down to pick him up. "It's alright it was an accident Anthony. Thank you for saying I'm sorry though. That was very thoughtful of you."

Anthony nodded as he wiped the tears from his eyes. "I love you River." He said as he leaned from his mother's arms to kiss River's cheek.

River smiled. "I love you too mister." She replied. "Now go get some sleep before your birthday party tonight." She instructed him sternly, causing him to go with his mother without any complications.

It was then that the front door opened. "River!" The Doctor's voice rang through the apartment.

"In the kitchen." River replied just loudly enough so he could hear her.

The Doctor came into the kitchen and saw her sitting on the counter with her hand pressed to her abdomen. "Are you alright?"

River nodded softly. "I'm just sore."

The Doctor gently wrapped his arms around his wife as he pressed his lips to her forehead. "I'm sorry." He apologized genuinely. "For everything."

River nodded before she captured his lips in hers. The Doctor was taken off guard. River had been rather against touching since the miscarriage and she hadn't instigated it herself since awhile beforehand. His hands slowly slid to the small of her back as River's wrapped around his neck. Eventually their lips parted, both breathing heavily.

"I love you." River said quietly as she pressed her forehead against his.

"I love you too." The Doctor returned the sentiment quietly.

"I don't want you to think I don't anymore just because of the way I've been behaving." River admitted softly. "I'm just…"

The Doctor shook his head to quiet her. "Take all the time you need River." River once again captured his lips passionately.

It was then that Amy returned to the kitchen. She awkwardly stood in the doorway for a moment before coughing to alert her daughter and son-in-law of her presence.

The Doctor immediately jumped away and River laughed. "She's not going to kill you Sweetie." River reminded him softly.

"Yeah… but she's your mum…" The Doctor replied awkwardly as he helped River down from the counter.

River immediately began helping her mother work on Anthony's birthday cake while continuing her conversation with her husband. "Any progress on the TARDIS?"

The Doctor shook his head. "She's mad at me so she's not being incredibly cooperative about letting me repair her."

"Well I did tell you that flying her into New York was a bad idea." River reminded him. "You completely tore her in half."

The Doctor rolled his eyes. "She's been to New York before." He whined quietly.

"Yes… But you created a paradox in New York last time we were here." River reminded him once again.

The Doctor sighed angrily. He knew she was right, but he didn't want to admit he was wrong.

"Doctor will you go to the market and pick me up some cream cheese for the frosting?" Amy interrupted what she was sure could quickly become a row between the two of them.

The Doctor nodded before leaving the kitchen without as much as a glance towards River.

River sighed as she slid the cake into the oven.

"Is everything alright between you and The Doctor?" Amy asked her daughter sympathetically.

River shrugged as the two of them headed into the living room.

"Things just seem like they're becoming increasingly tense." Amy informed her daughter of her observation.

River looked down, seemingly increasingly interested in her hands. "It's nothing." She mumbled quietly.

"River…" Amy coaxed her quietly.

River shook her head. "It's embarrassing." She admitted quietly.

"What happened?" Amy tried again.

River sighed. "I thought I was… I thought I was ready…"

"For?" Amy asked, slightly confused.

River took in a deep breath. "You know… ready." She tried again, this time her mother understood.

"Oh." Amy said quietly.

"It hurt… a lot... But I didn't have the heart to tell him that." River admitted softly. "He found out when I started bleeding again."

"River you have got to learn to talk to each other." Amy reminded her sympathetically. "This whole don't let him see the pain concept you two have going on just isn't healthy."

River tried to stop them but there were soon tears falling down her face. "I'm sorry." She apologized as she quickly wiped her eyes.

"What's wrong?" Amy asked her as she moved over closer to her daughter so she could gently rub her back.

"The Doctor… he wanted that baby so much." River admitted quietly. "I feel like I need to give him another one."

Amy shook her head as she pulled her into her arms. "You shouldn't feel obligated to carry a child for him sweetheart. Having a child needs to be something the two of you choose to do together."

River nodded softly. "I just…"

Amy shook her head once more. "No buts." She informed her daughter. "Wait until you're really ready, for a child. Then talk about it."

River nodded. "Thank you."

"It's not a problem River." Amy assured her quietly. "You're my only daughter. I have to help you."

River smiled before once again relaxing into her mother's arms.

"…Happy Birthday dear Anthony! Happy Birthday to you!" The group in the room sang as Anthony stood up onto his chair to blow out all four candles in one try.

"I did it Mummy I did it!" Anthony informed his mother excitedly.

River smiled as she watched her little brother enjoy the birthday she hadn't ever had. On her fourth birthday she had been being trained to kill The Doctor. She shook her head, trying to release the memories from her mind, without much luck.

The Doctor came around behind her and wrapped his arms gently around her waist.

River immediately looked up at him and forced a smile.

"Happy Birthday Melody Pond." He whispered quietly.

River turned around and smacked his chest. "Stop it." She said through gritted teeth.

"What?" The Doctor asked her honestly as he handed her a piece of cake. "It is…"

"Doctor!" River insisted. "We celebrate my birthday from when I regenerated. It's Anthony's birthday alright?"

"River it's not fair to you…" The Doctor tried to protest when one of the neighbors approached them.

"Hello!" Mrs. Anne Farnsworth greeted the two of them. "How are your studies going John?" She asked The Doctor with interest.

The Doctor had taken to his favorite human identity to avoid any suspicion because of his name. "Well." He replied immediately. "I'm thoroughly enjoying my classes at the University."

Anne nodded in approval before turning to River. "Why don't you come join the ladies in the living room?" She suggested, pointing to where Amy and several other women were gossiping.

The Doctor nudged her and she smiled. "Of course." She said before gently pecking The Doctor's cheek and following Anne over to the living room and sitting down next to Amy on the couch.

"Did you hear that Elizabeth had her twins last week?" One woman named Lucy asked them excitedly as she rubbed her own slightly extended abdomen lovingly.

"How are they doing?" Amy asked with what sounded like genuine interest.

"Two girls, Stacey and Michelle." Lucy informed the group.

"My oldest, Steven is heading off to University in the Fall." Anne informed them excitedly. "He got into Stamford and is going to study law."

River was barely paying attention to the conversation until she heard her name. "I'm sorry?" She asked, indicating that she hadn't heard the question she had been asked.

"What about you River?" a woman named Kathleen asked her. "Do you and John have any children?"

River swallowed nervously. "No." She said with a small smile.

"Well when?" Anne insisted. "When are you two having a baby? I'm sure any child of the two of you would be wonderful."

"Thank you." River said awkwardly as she tried to ignore the question.

"Honestly it's the end of the summer, winter is such a better season to be expecting during Evan and I might have another." A woman named Grace suggested. "It's a good time."

River shifted uncomfortably, hoping that Amy could sense that she was willing for a subject change.

"Out with it River." Anne insisted. "Honestly by the way you're behaving I would think you're expecting now."

River sat frozen for a moment before she just smiled and shrugged.

All of the women gasped and began chattering amongst each other, several of the women offering their congratulations to River.

Amy looked at River, her eyes boring a hole into her soul. "River will you help me get some more refreshments from the kitchen?" She asked her insistently.

River nodded before following Amy into the kitchen.

"What was that?" Amy asked her, eyes wide.

River rolled her eyes. "I don't know."

"You're seriously going to let them all think that you're pregnant?" She asked her unbelievingly.

"Well…" River said quietly.

"River!" Amy insisted.

"What do you want me to go out there and tell a bunch of strangers that I just almost died from a miscarriage?" River asked her pointedly.

Amy sighed. "You have a valid point… But there are people out there that will tell nearly everyone in town you're pregnant. They're going to notice if you don't start showing in the next couple of months."

River sighed as she sat down at the small table in the kitchen. "Not if The Doctor actually manages to get us out of here sometime soon." She pointed out quietly.

"River…" Amy said quietly as Anne came into the kitchen, causing River to jump up from the chair and grab a tray from the counter.

"What is taking you two so long?" Anne asked as she took one of the trays River had picked up from her. "You really shouldn't be carrying so much so early in your condition."

That was what it took for River to snap. She dropped the tray she had been carrying and ran out of the kitchen, straight past everyone at the party, and out the front door.

The Doctor immediately stormed into the kitchen. "What happened?" He asked Amy, his eyes flaming with anger and concern.

Amy shook her head. "I'm sorry Anne I've got to go." She said as she set the trays down on the counter and the two of them quickly headed to the front door. Amy whispered something to Rory quickly before her and The Doctor quickly made their way out of the apartment.

"What happened?" The Doctor asked her as they ran down the stairs of the building.

"It's a long story… But it ended with all of the women thinking she was pregnant. She's hurt Doctor. That's what it ultimately comes down to." She told him quickly.

"Why would they think she's…?" The Doctor asked, clearly confused.

"Doctor there are more important things to worry about right now!" Amy reminded him fiercely.

The Doctor nodded before the two of them quickly ran out of the apartment building in search of River.

Author's Note: I hope you're all enjoying the story. Please review!