Chapter Forty-One
He's not sure why he's surprised, he had spotted Kenma as soon as the gym doors opened and he had known that his protector would be here for over a month; Shouyou, knowing all of that, still wondered why his breathing was getting dodgy and why it was getting hard to stand. The older boy helps him to the ground, a soft stomach and bony ribs taking up space against his spine, "Kenma." He sighs out, letting the sensation wash over him because in almost too long his call would be answered. "Shouyou." Husky but concerned in ways that make his stomach sizzle with guilt. "Are you okay?" Warmer and almost lost in the sweat of his hair, he nods, accidentally catching Kenma's chin against his moist scalp; he feels the older boy grunt into his hair, spreading awkward heat across his head, "Are you okay?" He chirps back instead of apologizing, Kenma grunts again and Shouyou lets the other boy's long fingers settle on his stomach. "There's marks on your neck." He nods at the observation, feels the mentioned neck tighten on one side where Kenma's breath is now blowing over his skin. "Sorry." He finally offers, even though he knows that Kenma will disregard the statement in an instant. The older boy hums quietly, almost a tune that Shouyou can't hear over the sound of his own breathing.
They take turns watching the other teams watching them, the boy against his back explains the other teams in the Tokyo prefecture, strengths and weaknesses like the setter could read them like a books; He thinks it's really cool, Kenma just hums out an explanation of why Karasuno is the best rival team for Nekoma, even if there is a four hour drive. "Your setter is upset." He scoffs before he can help it, "I could have told you that." From their spot on the ground, the bruise on Kageyama's head looks huge and Shouyou almost feels bad about it until he remembers the icy attitude and the refusal to communicate that had caused it in the first place. "He hit his head on a door." For the first time in his life, the burning on his insides isn't from guilt and fear but his heart does stop at what follows his explanation.
Every piece of music that Kenma has played for him builds up at once and is shot straight into his heart, Shouyou thinks that this is what love is, hearing the older boy shudder behind him with laughter is more vivid than anything he's ever experienced. The blond settles down when people start to stare, he can feel Kenma's blush radiating heat against his skin, there's a swallow of air and nervousness that he doesn't have an answer for. "Kenma?" He ponders out loud, the older boy's heart starts to race against his and Shouyou's hands begin to tremble when Kenma doesn't answer him immediately. "Sorry." The older boy offers, Shouyou shrugs in return because that's what Kenma would do for him instead of prying like he wants to. "Yaku is staring at us." His eyes dart across the gym, glances at people pretending not to stare and finally catches the gaze of Nekoma's setter, he's pretty sure the older boy is taller than the last time he's seen him, there's more red covering his body than usual and Shouyou finds it hard to focus only on wide brown eyes pretending not to be pretending to stare. "Why's he doing that?" He asks, running his finger over the weird ridges of Kenma's knee. The older boy makes a noise he doesn't understand, "No idea." Is translated for him.
They watch the last game of the night quietly, Shouyou takes in warmth and scary tosses for too long and begins to feel his eyelids getting heavy too soon for sleep. "Shou?" The middle blocker snorts away his almost sleep and leans back until his ear is pressed against Kenma's, golden irises just in view through his peripheral. "Yes, Ken?" He watches dark pupils twist into a circle before refocusing. "Dinner'll be soon." Long fingers twitching against his stomach tells him that the older boy would like nothing more than to join the other teams in eating food. "But if we get up now we'll have to clean." He states factually to which Kenma hums in agreement, fingers slumping against his skin in a way that makes him jump. "Sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do." Shouyou knows for a fact that Kenma doesn't mean anything more by the words than what he's saying but something inside of him twists with unpleasantness he wish he didn't have to acknowledge. Mine. Kenma's proximity is suddenly too much and Shouyou forces himself to stand before Kenma's fingers land on something he'd been so careful to avoid. Kenma stands with him, looking suspiciously like he's not reading the middle blocker's actions; the older boy offers him a smirk that reveals a few too white teeth and leads the way towards what he assumes to be dinner
"How were the tests?" The blond boy asks as they're walking away from the musty gym and into dying sunlight, Shouyou frowns, not recalling another instance where Kenma wanted to make small talk nor a situation where school was met with anything less than disdain. "I couldn't read any of it." The hair around the older boy's ears fling back as Kenma winces, "Romanji." They echo in different tones, Kenma's with questioning and Shouyou's in confirmation. The older boy scoffs, like he's been offended by the language; "I could teach you?" The middle blocker raises an eyebrow where Kenma can see it, a crooked grin working at his lips, "And why would I take the help of someone who didn't even study for his own exams?" Kenma's lips curl like he's been offended but golden irises tell a different story. "Maybe because I passed?" The middle blocker shrugs, he'd give that to Kenma, if nothing else. He thinks it might be a sweet gesture, that the older boy would offer, but since he knows Kenma, he knows that the older boy would most likely get distracted by a certain backed dessert before they had even started. "Thank you." He says sincerely, feeling his stomach twist with good at saying something like that to Kenma. The setter hums in approval and make a grab at his wrist that Shouyou doesn't dodge, "I'm hungry."
The room, he thinks it might be a classroom when it's being used properly, is spacious but also cramped with table and aromas that make him feel properly hungry; another desire awakens since he's been in Tokyo, eating for himself, though he's not sure when he started to think about eating for others instead. Kenma directs them to empty cushions that are crowded by people he doesn't know, his next feeling is odd, his body reacts before he does, trembling in a way that means danger even when surrounded by people he could like. His protector sits on his right side and takes his attention away from the dark haired person next to him, the other boy barely gives him a glance before resuming his politely frantic eating. The person on the other end of the frantically eating stranger, Shouyou notices, has really cool hair and also has duck sauce leaking down his chin; "Bokuto-san." He watches the person next to him hand Bokuto-san a napkin before Shouyou can even consider anything else. Bokuto-san wails loudly, Shouyou thinks it might be because he'll have to put either his chopsticks or spoon down to take the offered napkin, but thick fingers curl into the fabric and the duck sauce is gone along with Shouyou's attention.
Kenma gives him a strange look along with a bowl of rice that Shouyou ignores in favor of the plate of meat beyond it, he's pretty sure that he can feel the older boy rolling his eyes before tugging the plate closer to them. "Make sure you eat your rice." Not-Kenma says and Shouyou feels his heart stop before starting to race too fast, in an instant, he's able to recall every time those words have been said, can smell salty eggs and taste chalk. There's warmth in his hand that reminds him of all the times he's shoved napkins full of rice into his pocket and the classroom in around him starts to melt into his living room. "Shouyou?" Not-Natsu asks, then again in a voice too deep is asking those words. I'm not okay. He admits to himself before letting it slip away along with Hinata.
His back is hurting when he can see again, can tell that he must have been pushed into the wall because the plate of meat and the rice is out of reach, Kenma is in front of him, loose bangs blocking his view on his right side, Shouyou makes a blind grab and finds long fingers twining into his own. "You're okay." Relieved but almost like a question, Shouyou nods in response, lingering twitches against his vocal chords making him unable to speak. Kenma waits until his breathing is more even before speaking again, asking him to join the table again. He accepts but feels he made the wrong choice when too many eyes start to settle on his skin, "Are you okay?" Not-Kenma asks from his left side. Shouyou sees a new shade of blue for half a breath before looking away, "Sorry." Can tell from the scratching in his throat that it had been a scream instead of rice that no longer exists.
His hair turns heavy when he churns the apology out, Shouyou can feel his spine straighten and quiver like it might snap at any second; the middle blocker stares down at shoes he doesn't recognize and wishes that he could scream again, Kenma's fingers squeeze his but he can barely feel it through the cement dripping into his blood stream. "K-Kenma?" He's back in Miyagi, hearing those words again, a time before he said yes and the first time he's ever seen the demon king. "Bokuto-san, you're making- him uncomfortable." The person next to him chides, Shouyou lets himself breathe in when the hand finally removes but his relief doesn't last long because someone too warm is leaning in front of him. He can make out round eyes, golden but dim, he thinks his observation might only be due to how close those eyes are, "Sorry about that, little guy." Shouyou recognizes the sound of knuckles colliding with skin but doesn't feel anything, dim eyes start tilting until they're out of sight.
Shouyou takes in the form of Bokuto-san, on the floor and looking very close to tears, he's not sure what he should be feeling as he stares at the built male rolling around on the floor in exaggerated agony. "How could you do that, Akaashi?" That voice says, the one that brought him back there; Shouyou thinks he should be angry but Bokuto-san's antics tell him that the taller boy has enough to deal with. "You need to apologize to-" Akaashi says, almost blue eyes glancing up from Bokuto-san to stare at him. "Shouyou." Kenma offers in his place, Akaashi nods like it's a privilege to have that information. "Apologize to Shouyou-san, Bokuto-san." He's not even sure the last time someone used an honorific with him, it's been Just Shouyou for long enough that everyone calls him that. Not that Akaashi-san would know that, he rationalizes, attempts to offer the older boy a smile but Akaashi-san just blinks at him then down at Bokuto-san.
The other boy is on his knees now, spine squirming like it's too much work to say a few words, even if Shouyou doesn't want them. "I'm sorry, Shorty-san." If his hands weren't shaking so badly, if one of them wasn't wrapped around too long fingers, he would consider taking a fight he knows he will lose. Akaashi makes a noise, like a growl combined with a sigh that Shouyou doesn't understand completely, "Bokuto-san and I are sorry are sorry we alarmed you and we hope you can forgive us." Akaashi-san bows but Shouyou thinks he might see almost blue eyes rolling, he hopes it at the need for too formal words during dinner when they're all covered in drying sweat. "Sorry?" He replies, Akaashi-san's chin tilts back, there's a twitch against stoic lips that he might have imagined. "I'm Akaashi, by the way, this is Bokuto-san." Akaashi-san gestures to the now empty floor and they both stare at the wooden panels in confusion for a moment, "There was Bokuto-san." The dark haired boy corrects himself, Shouyou smiles in return, not sure if he should be worried about suddenly disappearing teammates or not. "Nice to meet you." The words are muffled but close enough that he can make them out, Akaashi-san's head twists back and Shouyou glances around the taller boy's chest, Bokuto-san is smiling at him with a mouthful of meat, there's more than one trail of something trailing down the taller boy's chin. Shouyou laughs.
Shouyou takes notice of Akaashi-san's voice when the older boy decides to make small talk, it reminds him of Kenma's and he immediately introduces his protector to the other boy as soon as the thought comes up. Dinner passes more smoothly as a pair of deep voices travel over his head from both sides, comforting in a way he doesn't need to think about. The middle blocker lets his shoulders drop, slouching low enough that he finally notices that there's no rice in front of him, Kenma's chopsticks prod at his lips while the older boy is distracted with his conversation with Akaashi-san. Shouyou opens, lets himself fall back into that time where his limbs had been too weak to move, times where he had started to look at Kenma as a protector as well as everything else. Golden eyes catch his around a mouthful of beef, they're too far away to be Kenma's and Shouyou feels trapped despite the friendly smile. "I'm Bokuto Koutarou, I'm the captain of Fukuroudani Academy, I'm the team's captain and the best ace ever, you probably already know that, right?" Shouyou stares at Bokuto-san for a moment, long enough for the older boy to start talking again about his star sign and favorite color, he's not sure what to do with any of the information. Captain. The title is unsettling to him, knows that one of them is lingering, waiting with flashes of light and ready to steal from him, the other rough and warm in a way he's grown dependent on. He wonders what kind of captain Bokuto-san is but he's too scared to ask and too scared to interrupt the brutish boy with golden eyes, who is now rambling about how he and Akaashi-san have been best friends forever.
"We've only known each other for two years." Akaashi-san confirms, taking a pause in his conversation with Kenma, that odd shade of blue shifts from him to Bokuto-san and Shouyou thinks he can see a new facial expression on Akaashi-san's face. "The most wonderful two years of my entire life!" He watches tanned eyelids blink once, then twice, but Akaashi-san remains silent while he turns away from his captain. Shouyou isn't really sure how he would respond to that either, except Bokuto-san's rejected facial expression makes him think that he'd at least acknowledge the statement instead of ignoring it. The feeling of being stared at, with the exclusion of Bokuto-san, starts to slide off of his skin with each moment shared with Kenma and Akaashi-san; he's not sure what to think entirely of the other setter, he knows that Akaashi-san is polite, but is brought diluted with disinterested tones and flat facial expressions, almost like another Kenma. Just nothing like Kenma.
The first time that Akaashi-san tries to feed him he considers throwing the taller boy out the window, he glances at Kenma, unsure of how to handle the situation with screaming and challenging his new friend to a fight. "My arm is tired." His protector offers, slimy meat prods at his lips again and when he makes to apologize the food is pushed in before he can get the first letter out. Bokuto-san splutters on Akaashi-san's other side, Shouyou can tell that the captain is still glum from being ignored, "Akaashi," The older boy whines, "How come your feeding Shouyou-chan but whenever I ask you you always say, you're old enough to feed yourself, Bokuto-san." He twitches at the honorific but is unsure if he should correct the older boy and risk going back to little guy, instead he comments on Bokuto-san's impression of his teammate. Akaashi-san snorts into a cup of water, obviously pretending not to notice the white-black haired menace staring at him.
"I'm going to the bathroom." Shouyou is pretty sure that the words shouldn't make his pulse jump, he's also sure that he shouldn't feel like he's sinking further into an invisible hole with every step that Kenma takes away from him. "Everything alright, Shouyou-san?" Akaashi is looking at him with open curiosity, the look is too expressive on that blank face that he has to look away while he nods in reply, the older boy leans forward and Shouyou leans to the empty space Kenma had been occupying before. "What's your relationship with Kenma-san?" Akaashi-san asks, Shouyou is too taken back to look up from his socks and towards that odd shade of blue.
"I'm not sure."
Shouyou loves Kenma more than anything, more than he thinks he should considering they're both males that live too far apart; everything about Kenma fills him with calmness and excitement, like he can see through any problem with his protector guiding him. Even Kenma's dismissive, bordering on rude, behavior is comforting to him because Kenma had been the first person to actually stay with him after knowing everything. That the marks Akaashi-san were not regarding had been made by Grand King, the reason his body broke down with his head being touched. The older boy had seen the orange and helped him do something selfish without a word of judgement.
His answer confuses him more than his relationship with Kenma, he knows that the older boy loves him, has said so a handful of times, and he loves the setter without a doubt. Why don't I know? The answer, he realizes, is all too obvious that it's frightening to think about. Kenma is his first relationship that doesn't revolve around being owned, the older boy acknowledges his issues but doesn't use them for games, to the older boy Shouyou is a person, someone that belongs with and not to.
"Love." Is his answer, clear enough without more context. Akaashi-san nods, then there's heat on his shoulder that he can't shrug off, "It seems like more than that." Something about the new setter unsettles him, he supposes if anyone were to look at the way he interacts with Kenma, that it might just look like the older boy is helping him. The middle blocker shrugs, the hand follows and Akaashi-san's eyes don't blink, "More?" He asks, certain at this point that Akaashi-san wants him to ask about his deduction. The setter nods, wisps of curly black hair tilting forward to shadow half blue eyes, "It's interesting." He says, but nothing more.
He feels Kenma's return before he can see or hear it, Shouyou leans into the blond boy and he's pretty sure that he hears Kenma sigh at the new weight on his shoulder. "I'm not a pillow." The older boy explains, lifting a ball of rice to his lips, Shouyou recalls countless instances in which he had used the older boy as a pillow instead of answering. His head is still on Kenma's shoulder after a long moment of silence and Shouyou is pretty sure he can count this as a victory; the rest of dinner passes by without another word from Kenma or Akaashi-san, they split up with waves and Bokuto-san's promise to defeat him which Shouyou accepts while Kenma leads him towards another set of doors.
Kenma settles against the far wall, distracted by his phone before he even sits down, Shouyou settles himself between the older boy's legs, using his protector as a pillow with little complaint. They're not alone in the room, even if it is quiet, Inuoka and Yamamato are there, lingering in the room the same way their gazes linger on his skin. Something tells him that something is going to happen, he's just not sure what. Yet, he knows, because something always happens in Tokyo. Kenma's phone tells him that forty-six minutes pass before it happens; it plays out like a movie, slow motion before his eyes, Shouyou can hear his heart in his throat and he's certain that he might scream again.
Within a moment, the entire Nekoma team is through the door and settling in a half circle, surrounding them like- Shouyou isn't sure what it's like, he just knows that he doesn't like it. Kuroo is in the middle of the setup, he's certain that it's by design instead of coincidence, he can feel the Nekoma captain's eyes trying to catch his but his eyes are glued to Kenma's wiggling toes and nothing more. "So," Kuroo begins, sounding too ominous all at once. Nobody acknowledges the statement and Shouyou watches through his hair as the other middle blocker rolls his eyes.
"Let's talk about Oikawa, shall we?"