A/N: Hey! Sorry, but my anxiety likes to do this thing where it prevents me from uploading, even though it only takes me five hours tops to write a chapter. This fandom is unpredictable anyways, and I have a chronic fear of rejection, sue me. Nothing's worse than uploading something, seeing people read it, and then...nothing. *okay, I'll just go in a hole and cry* Yup. Thanks for being irrational anxiety, truly. Even if this stuff doesn't happen all the time, that's what I fear xD... I can't handle the potential cringe, I just can't...ANYWAYS!

I'm back, and with more recommendations than ever. SO MUCH in fact that I've decided to join tumblr. You can send me recommendations there as well. Follow me! I'll follow back. I'll be limiting each chapter to five recommendations each.

YOU CAN FIND ME ON TUMBLR AT: "Ellawritesficssometimes" (pls send help. The website is so freaking confusing :/) Drop by, ask me a question too!

Let's just make the rules clear, because I haven't really done that. Recommendations are for new or recently updated fics that you believe deserves more attention and praise. The story must be in progress or recently completed. Also, if you're going to leave a recommendation in the review section, I'd also like to hear what you have to say about my story, if you're going to take the time. Spare me the awkwardness and excitement next time, kay?

Thanks to browsofglory for requesting an additional FrUk scene. It really added to this chapter :)

Recommendation #1: "Like a Love Song" by "GreyLady1575" A fem! America x England fanfic with lots of feels. It features the characters as popular singers/ celebrities.

Recommendation #2: "The Europenor Party" by "TheFreakZone" A hilarious/ romantic one-shot entailing England's departure from the EU.

Recommendation #3: "Stay in Line" by "E-quaintance" A dark, 'what if' alternate AU one-shot, where America loses the revolutionary war.

Recommendation #4: "Investigasians: The Musical Massacre" by "The Xs and the Os" A thrilling murder mystery with very lovable characters.

Recommendation #5 (Ella's pick): "The Taming of the Shrew" by "Shadowcatxx" Hetalia meets Shakespeare! I shall say no more!

Anyways, y'all Matthews in the fandom need to become Alfreds. The fandom is no fun otherwise! Thanks so much for the support, as well as for the recommendations. Keep sending them to me :) Let's all be supportive and kind! I don't expect everyone to follow/favourite/ review stories, nor do I even expect the majority to. But, you have to admit, this is a serious problem in our fandom.

Enjoy and have a great day/ night, my lovely cinnamon buns!

Iron-Clad Hero:

Early December…

Alfred's POV:

Jesus fracking Christ it was cold! I was using my lunch break to find someone who I thought that I would never - in a million years - ever willingly seek out. Ivan was still acting like a weirdo, regardless of what he said. In fact, he's been coming to the café less and less lately. I just wanted to make sure that he was doing all right. Besides, it's not like anyone else would be brave enough to confront the 'ice giant of Russia.'

Just in case y'all were wondering, that was the nickname that Ivan had gotten from being on the University's hockey team. Mattie played on the team too, which was why I had a firsthand account of seeing that persona come to life. Ivan was the defense-man specifically assigned to protect my little bro's back. I can't count how many times Ivan had gotten a foul for checking a player through the boards.

Ivan protected his teammates, but I was beginning to worry that he wasn't looking after himself all that much. When he did come to the café, he was usually nose-deep in paperwork. He wasn't at all like his jolly, infuriating self. There were deep bags under his eyes, and he rarely smiled, let alone bothered to get angry enough to have that creepy-purple-aura-cloud-thingie surround him.

And as your friendly neighborhood hero, it was my duty to make sure that everyone in this University was A-OK. Let me just pause right here to take a bow for my totally cool joke. Ahahahaha! Thank you, thank you, I'll be here for the first third of this chapter!

Anyways! Where was I? Oh yes, I was currently freezing off my jingle berries in this jungle of a blizzard. I was only wearing my handy-dandy bomber's jacket to ward myself from the cold. I didn't feel like putting on my entire winter outfit just to walk the short distance from the café to the dorms.

The University was a complete wasteland, as it typically was during the month of December. We only had one more week of classes before final exams began. Most people were either sleeping in, watching Netflix and procrastinating, or writing a last-minute paper that they had the entire semester to do. Without Mattie and his constant passive-aggressive judgement, I would have been in the same boat as the procrastinators. Thankfully, I was on top of my readings and assignments, so I had plenty of time to spare before I finally cracked down on my studies.

Ivan lived in the dorm building next to mine, so I didn't have any trouble finding it. I tried my best not to look like a creep when I read the directory on the first floor and later sneaked into the elevator. If that Commie bastard had actually bothered to answer his texts, I wouldn't be having this problem; I'm just saying! Geez, he really needed to stop being such a loner!

DING!

I scuttled out of the elevator, in a very manly way, of course, and crept around the corner of the hallway. I'm sure people wouldn't care that I was here, but pretending to be a spy made this visit more exciting. I was looking for room "11989".

I slunk down the hallway, letting the numbers on the apartment doors guide me towards my target, ahem, destination. I turned around the corner, only to retreat and flatten myself against a nearby wall. All I saw was long blonde hair and that was enough to send chills down my spine. I froze, cupping a hand over my mouth to stifle my heavy breathing. Yikes! I really needed to lower my daily bacon intake. I wasn't nearly as fit as I was during football season!

I slowly poked my head around the corner, confirming that it was in fact Natalia standing outside of Ivan's dorm room. I flattened myself against the wall again, weighing my options. Natalia had never liked me, but then again, she didn't like anyone. And a true hero never backs down from a challenge, no matter how terrifying it is. Yep! I'd just have to brave it out and play it cool! Easy, right?!

I gave both of my cheeks a firm slap before finally mustering the courage to walk around the corner and face the wicked she-devil of the hallway. Natalia was standing in front of Ivan's front door, looking bored as she held out her phone before her. She was wearing a slim navy blue trench coat, skin-tight faded denim jeans, and knee-high combat boots. Her long blonde hair fell past her shoulders, thin and fair enough to reflect the light from the chandelier above. I felt my mouth involuntarily gape open in awe; as a bisexual, it would be hard to deny that this woman wasn't a pretty sight for the eyes and well, down yonder... if only she wasn't so intimidating, and well, crazy.

Things became even weirder when Natalia opened her mouth and began to hiss, yes hiss, into her phone. "Torissssssssss. Come play with me Torissssssssssssssss…"

I awkwardly cleared my throat. "Uh, what are you doing?"

Natalia gave me a blank stare, her blue eyes not showing a zilch of emotion. "I'm prank calling, Toris. Now shhhh!"

Oh, forgive me for being the normal one here!

Fearing for my life, I didn't dare to say a word.

And neither did Natalia?

A long moment of silence passed before Natalia hung up her phone. "You may speak now," she ordered in a frigid voice. Could she be anymore creepier?!

I gulped. "Was your prank call successful?"

Poor Toris, what did the dude do to deserve this?

Natalia smirked. "They always are," she mused. "Fortunately, it doesn't take much to scare him."

"Oh," I sighed, suppressing a manly squeak. "That's good…?"

To be honest, I've never seen Natalia act this calm before. Usually, she spent her spare time stalking Ivan or threatening people with sharp objects. Perhaps she wasn't as crazy as she led others to believe?

I stand corrected.

I quickly found myself pinned to a wall, a sharp elbow pressed against my windpipe.

"Enough small talk, Jones," Natalia sneered. "What did you do to my big brother? Did you come here to apologize, is that it? I've never seen him this closed off before…" she trailed off. "It's beginning to worry me."

"Whoa," I wheezed. "I came here wondering the same thing! I didn't do anything, I swear!"

"Wondering what, exactly?" Natalia huffed.

I felt my face heat involuntarily. "I've noticed that Ivan's been real quiet lately, and I wanted to check up on him!"

"Well, if that's the case, would you mind making a small wager with me?"

"Yes, yes anything! Just let me breathe, will you?!" I spluttered.

Just so we're clear, I could have freed myself from her hobbit-tyranny at any time. I just chose not to because she's a girl.

Natalia chuckled under her breath, releasing me from her grip.

I gasped for air while she pulled away.

Natalia took out a way-too-sharp-to-be-legal nail file from her coat. "You see, Jones, I love my big brother very dearly, and only want the best for him. But that can't happen if there's other people in his life taking up all his time. I'm trusting you to protect him when I'm not present. Now, do we have a deal?"

Natalia twirled around the nail file.

"Sure thing!" I barked.

I held out my hand to finalize the 'deal', but Natalia merely looked at it as if it were covered in slime.

I let my hand fall back to my side.

"Good," Natalia shed me with an approving look. Somehow, I had become a dog. "As long as you know that's Ivan's mine, and mine alone, I think that we'll get along quite nicely. If you could help him with…"

Natalia gestured towards Ivan's front door. "…'whatever' he's experiencing, it'd be very much appreciated. For some reason, he refuses to let me into his apartment."

I wonder why, I thought dryly to myself.

"Alrighty!" I laughed good-naturedly. "I'll make sure to do that."

Natalia sighed. "Well, that's it I suppose. Please do fix him, he hasn't been very enjoyable to be around lately."

In other words, you can't stalk Ivan when he's holed up in his apartment. The girl was like ice; cold and blank, but very transparent in her motives.

"I'll do my best! Pinkie swear!"

Sweet Jesus, just let me get out of this with my body still intact! Uh, not that I'm incapable of defending myself…

Natalia gave me one last forlorn look before turning on her heels and leaving without another word. I looked away when she pulled out her phone and began to hiss into it again. Yep, she sure was a psycho, all right.

When I was sure that Natalia was gone, I knocked on Ivan's door.

"Go away!" Ivan wailed. "I already told you! I wish to be alone!"

I cleared my throat, furrowing my brows in confusion. "Uh, Ivan, buddy? It's me, Alfred."

Heavy footsteps clambered in my direction.

Ivan pulled open the door, his violet eyes wide with surprise. He was wearing a full-body pyjama suit that was speckled with sunflower print. His blond-white hair was sticking up in odd tufts here and there, and the normal pink pallor of his cheeks were gone. He looked like he hadn't gotten a wink of sleep.

"Alfred?" Ivan questioned. "What are you doing here? Did the café run out of food?" he teased, a small smirk tugging at the corners of his lips.

I grit my teeth, looking anywhere but at the firm tones of his muscles, or those goddamned creepy (albeit pretty) eyes of his.

"Actually, the café has plenty of food since you're not there to waste orders," I countered with a chivalrous smile.

Ivan's smirk dropped. "Why are you really here, Alfred?" he leered, never being one to care for repeating himself.

I began to fidget with my hands, feeling my glasses begin to droop due to the sweat building up on the bridge of my nose. "Well, since we're friends, I thought that I'd check up on you. I haven't seen you around lately…"

"So your only solution was to stalk me?" Ivan chuckled.

"Hey!" I protested, balling my hands into fists. "We live right across from each other. It's not like I went out of my way to find you!"

"Sure, you didn't," Ivan patronized, reaching down to pat my head. "You're so caring, little one. It almost blurs out how obnoxious you are~!"

I ducked out of the way before Ivan could ruffle my hair. I was long used to his maniacal schemes.

"That reminds me," I muttered. "What have you been up to lately?"

"Oh, you know, studying…" Ivan trailed off ominously.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't you always use to study at the café?" I asked.

Ivan's expression became sheepish.

"Dude, if something's bothering you, you know you can tell me, right? That's what friends are for. It's not healthy to wall yourself off from others! To…put a wall between you and me!"

Ivan shook his head in disbelief. "Ignoring your awful grammar, the only thing keeping us apart is this door."

I glared at Ivan real hard, causing him to sigh. "I don't need your help, Alfred. Sometimes I just like being alone. You can respect that, da?"

I bit my lip, hating how I had just been manipulated into answering the way that he wanted me to. He was very clearly closing himself off from the world. This Ivan was only a small glimpse of his real, true self. A curtain of steely emotion was masking how he truly felt. And who was I to pry if he wasn't ready to talk about it?

"Yeah, I guess I can respect that," I grumbled with slumped shoulders, not even remotely trying to hide my disappointment. I've always been an open book kind of person.

"Spasibo," Ivan smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling. "It's nice to know that someone cares about me, even if it is you."

"And just what is that supposed to mean?!" I snarled, flaring my nostrils.

"Nothing," Ivan chuckled. "Just a poor joke on my part. I'll see you later, little one. And try not to look so angry, it doesn't suit you."

I saw red when Ivan bent down to pinch my cheeks. "Bye now," he teased, letting go when he saw how furious I was becoming. "Uh-oh, that's not a happy face~!"

"Oh, go fuck yourself, will you?!" I snarled, only to have Ivan slam the door in my face.

All I heard on the other end of the door was smug "kolkolkol" laughter.

I sharply turned around, grudgingly sticking both hands in my pockets. "Cocky son of a bitch," I cursed.

The blush on my face, however, completely contradicted my ill words.

What the heck has gotten into me lately?

…

~Afternoon Shift~

Macar-oh My:

Arthur's POV:

I was having a very pleasant afternoon, despite having a blabber mouth of a frog for company. I was sipping on a mug of Earl Grey tea, the warmth of its liquid contents doing well to soothe my scratchy throat. I had yelled at Francis so much over these past few weeks that speaking had become inevitably difficult.

Don't ask me why, but it had become routine for us to meet at the café after our classes were finished. I would write my stories, as I was now well-accustomed to blocking out irrelevant gossip, and Francis would sketch away in his fashion design sketchbook, always handling the burden of making conversation with an uncanny ease.

Bizarre as it was, Francis and I just worked well together. Correction, we were so different that our chemistries both complimented and rivalled the other. Although, it wasn't exactly clear what our relationship was. Francis was naturally an overly flirtatious person, so I couldn't take anything that he did too seriously. I mean, it's not like I was head over heels for the effeminate fiend! But, I wasn't necessarily opposed to the idea of us becoming something more…

Dear God, Arthur, focus on your work! There was no time to fantasize about the amphibian jerk sitting across from you. I reached for my cucumber sandwich, only to choke and splutter when I took too large of a bite.

Francis's azure eyes flicked upwards, a smile quirking his face as he watched me chug down my still-scalding tea. "Voila," he cooed, bending over to cup his stubble-covered chin with long, delicate hands. "This is a sign from God, telling you zhat you need more variety in your diet!"

I scowled at the frog, using a napkin to wipe the excess liquid from my mouth. One of our most common disagreements was over my choice of food. Being French, Francis was quite the snob when it came to eating. Well, excuse me if I preferred food that didn't have butter as its main ingredient!

I looked everywhere but at Francis, avoiding the smug look that he would without a doubt be giving me now. I spotted Matthew and Gilbert flirting at the front counter, touching each other far more explicitly than they would have dared to should Alfred have been here to monitor their behaviour. Speaking of which, where did that twat head off to anyways? His break was long over now…

"Arthur!"

I flinched when Francis waved a hand in front of my face, causing me to get a large whiff of his strong rose perfume.

"Wot?!" I snapped.

Francis sighed. "You weren't listening to me again, were you?"

I angrily went back to typing on my laptop. I still had my pride to maintain, thank you very much.

"Arthur?"

"Hmmmm?" I growled in disinterest.

The final straw was when Francis forcefully closed my laptop.

"Oi!" I protested. "I was right in the middle of an action scene!"

"Surely, it can wait, non?" Francis hummed. "Besides, I have a small gift pour vous."

I rolled my eyes. He never accepted no for an answer. "Well, go on then. I don't have all day."

Francis tutted, reaching into his satchel to pull out a tupperware container.

My lips parted open in confusion. "What in the bloody hell…?"

Francis placed the container on the table, sliding it over to my side of the booth.

"Open it~!" he sang.

I gave Francis an unamused look, but still opened it anyways. I immediately regretted doing so. Inside there were several neon-coloured macaron sweets. They were so blindingly bright, that I had to close the lid again just to salvage my eyesight.

I stubbornly stuck up my nose to the air. "What kind of ghastly colouring is this? It's absurd!"

Francis chuckled; the sound of it reminded me of wind chimes, it was just that breathless and pleasant. "You won't be saying zhat once you taste them," he purred.

"What makes you think that I will?" I smirked.

Francis's eyebrows furrowed suspiciously. "Remember when we got drunk at zhat pub last week?"

My hands became clammy. "Y-yeah, what about it?"

"I may or may not have taken a photo of you sliding down zhat lamp-post. It's such a shame, really. You would make such a good stripper! If only you didn't need alcohol to become so…enticing…"

Francis had me wrapped around his girlish finger; the bloody scoundrel.

I grabbed the tupperware container again, popping it open. "Fine!" I snapped. "Blackmail me, why don't you?!"

"Ohonhohonhon!"

"You better delete that photo!" I warned, reminding myself that strangling someone wasn't gentleman-like at all, no matter how warranted.

Francis shed me with a wolfish grin. "But of course, mon petit~"

I picked up an orange-coloured macaron, inspecting it in the air before taking a small nibble of it.

"So?" Francis crooned, leaning over the table well past the boundaries of my personal bubble. "How does it taste?"

I bit the inside of my cheek. Damn him for being such a good cook!

"It's alright," I admitted.

Francis was fluent enough in Arthur-speak to understand what I truly meant by that.

"Want to know a secret zhat makes them taste even better?" Francis asked, devilishly batting his long lashes at me.

"S-sure!" I blurted out, too nervous to say anything remotely coherent.

I knew that we were being watched. I could feel the beady eyes of Liza's fangirl cult burning holes into the back of my neck. Apparently, Francis and I were on the café's "Most-Wanted Shipping List." Don't bother asking me what that is. I don't want to know.

"Close your eyes then," Francis whispered. "And open your mouth. Oui, just like zhat."

I closed my eyes.

It wasn't long before I felt a macaron being placed between my front teeth.

Squeals echoed across from the other end of the café.

"You can open your eyes now," Francis cooed.

I opened my mouth, deadpanning in realization. No wonder Mei had just fainted. Francis was leaning over the table, the other end of the macaron held between his own front teeth. We were imitating a cliché, albeit iconic, Lady-in-the-Tramp moment.

My face erupted in a fierce blush.

"Eat, mon petit," Francis hummed.

And eat we did, until our lips met and I just about died from embarrassment.

The entire café erupted with catcalls, while several people began to collect money from the bets that they had made several months ago. I was too busy enjoying myself to care.

"So," Francis began, his eyes gleaming with pride. "How was zhat?"

I gave Francis a wry smile. "Perhaps we should try again? It went by too quickly for me to truly appreciate the taste."

Francis winked; I melted right on spot.

"I'm just going to take zhat as a metaphor…"

It wasn't long before we were tasting each other.

Finally, was my only thought.

…

~Evening Shift~

The Gay and the Dogeless:

Lovino's POV:

I was already in a pissy mood because of the weather outside, so you can only guess how put off I was when Feliciano and I arrived at the café for our shifts, only to find that it had been turned into a makeshift pound.

The tables were pushed aside from the center of the room, creating space for a large, fenced-off area. Inside said area were several puppies, yipping and yapping, no doubt intending to give me an even stronger migraine than the one I already had.

Feliciano's eyes became as wide as beach balls. It wasn't long before he stepped over the fence and was being swarmed by a herd of fur. I didn't have to look far to see that Antonio, the dumbass, was also smothering the puppies with several hugs and loud smooches.

"What the fuck is this?" I turned to the front counter, giving Liza an incredulous look.

"These are the café's new guard dogs!" she trilled with a wide grin. "I present to you Vlad I, Vlad II, Vlad III, and Vlad IV!"

Of course, Liza would name the dogs after her arch nemesis. I shouldn't have been that surprised. Ever since that 'spy' incident, Liza was determined to make sure that her establishment was well protected. Although, I'm not sure why she thought that puppies would be able to fit that job description.

"Lovino, mi tomatito!" Antonio called out to me, laughing when a puppy began to growl and tug on the sleeve of his shirt. "Come, join us~!"

I scowled and began to make my way over to the puppy pit.

"Ve, aren't they just adorable, Lovi?" Feliciano swooned. "To think that the breeder was going to put these precious little babies in the pound!"

I stopped at the gate of the fence, reluctant to enter. I had never really cared for dogs; they slobbered all over the place, ate all your food when you weren't looking, and never stopped barking. Not to mention that even though they were puppies, these dogs were unnaturally thick. Their lean muscles were practically bulging out from their tan-coloured coats.

Feliciano waved me forward again. "It's alright, fratello! Luddy's already begun to train them. They're German boxer dogs! They won't bite, promise!"

Ludwig nodded his head, as if to reassure me; which he didn't, just to be clear. If the dogs really were German, I hated them already.

"Fine," I sighed.

I stepped over the fence, wary of the puppies scrambling about on the floor. I tip-toed to kneel on the ground next to Antonio, who was currently giggling uncontrollably. The bastard was holding a very grumpy looking puppy to his chest. Its dark black snout was clenched in a grimace, large brown eyes pleading for mercy. Antonio was probably squeezing it too hard.

"Oi, bastard! Let the poor thing breathe!" I scolded.

"Oh!" Antonio exclaimed in surprise, freeing the canine from his moronic clutches.

The grumpy puppy huffed, its short stubby tail sticking up in defiance. I accidentally caught its perturbed gaze, causing me to smile nervously. "N-nice d-dog…" I stammered, only to cry out when the puppy began to approach me.

"Chigi! Antonio, get it away from me!"

Antonio simply cackled as the puppy sat itself in my lap, burying his chin into my thigh. It closed its eyes and began to doze off, trapping me in place.

"See," Antonio soothed. "I thought that he would like you. You guys have the same…personality."

"That better not be a crack at my temper," I snarled.

Antonio raised his hands in surrender, his sunny smile not fooling me in the slightest. "Of course not!"

"Che, whatever," I huffed, still clueless about what to do with the sleeping puppy in my lap.

"We gave them names," Antonio trilled.

"I thought Liza already named them?" I deadpanned.

"Shhh!" Antonio chided. "She doesn't have to know!"

"That's Gilbean, Gilbert named her." Antonio pointed towards the puppy that was excitedly jumping on Ludwig's leg, much to his chagrin. "She has really large bean toes, eheh!"

"That's Aaron Fur Sir, Matthew named him." Antonio pointed towards the puppy sitting off in the corner by himself. He looked anxious, as if he were waiting for something. As to what, who knows.

"And that's Winston Grrchill, Francis named him." The last puppy that Antonio pointed to had unnaturally large jowls and an exaggerated underbite. It really did look like the late British Prime Minister. The British-named puppy was the only canine listening to Ludwig's commands; it sat with its back straight and its stubby chin held high.

"What about this one?" I asked, looking down at the sleeping puppy in my lap.

Antonio blushed. "He reminds me of you a lot, but I know that you wouldn't like it if I named him after you…"

"Damn straight!" I snickered. "So, any ideas?"

"I was thinking of calling him Jowltito!"

This comment only caused me to laugh even harder. "Pft! You're such a fucking dumbass!"

Antonio nodded his head, taking my insult as an approval. "Perhaps," he mused. "Anyways, we have to find temporary homes for these bebes. At the end of the year, the University is going to adopt them as stress dogs, but for the meantime…"

"What now?" I deadpanned.

Antonio childishly fidgeted with his hands, refusing to look me in the eyes. "Well, Gilbert's taking care of Gilbean, Matthew has Aaron Fur Sir, and Ludwig, Winston Grrchill, so…"

I didn't like where this was going.

"Spit it out, bastard!"

"Do you think that maybe you could like…take Jowltito home with you?"

"FUCK NO!" I exploded, causing Jowltito to raise his head and whine for me to lower my voice. My fucking apologies.

"Pleassssssssssse, Lovi?" Feliciano begged. "I've always wanted a dog!"

Antonio pointed at Jowltito. "Are you really going to say no to such a precious face?" he teased.

Yes, actually I can. I'm saying no to you, aren't I?

"Why can't you or the potato take him?" I deadpanned.

"I already have Gilbean in my apartment, and Ludwig doesn't have room either!" Antonio countered.

I closed my eyes. This was so not happening. "And what about Liza?" I groaned.

"I live off campus, hun," Liza trilled. "My building doesn't allow any pets."

"Che!" I snarled. "What is this, gang up on Lovino day?"

No one bothered to suppress their smirks, those assholes.

"You won't have to do a thing! I'll give him all his walks, and feed him too!" Feliciano proposed.

I cupped my forehead with one hand; my migraine was already ten times worse. "Fine."

Feliciano and Antonio erupted with cheers.

I bent down to whisper into Jowltito's floppy ear. "Sleep in my bed or eat my food and we're done, capiche?" I hissed.

Jowltito responded by snorting in my face and flopping onto his stomach.

Looks like we weren't so different, after all.

To be Continued...