A short one, but needfully so :)

Thank you to those reading this! Please let me know what you think.

Phanty belongs to Leroux and Lloyd Weber.

As soon as I had committed the act of murder I had convinced myself of how I would handle things if Christine were to question me. I would lie; deny it all. Then, I knew the affect it would have on what was, beyond my wildest expectations beginning to become a real friendship... courtship. As soon as I had committed the crime I had regretted it; not for the sake of my victim, no; for the sake of Christine. The truth would destroy everything I had built with her... But now, as she was staring at me; looking into my eyes with complete ignorant sincerity... telling me that she chose me! Chose me! I could not deny her the truth. I owed it to her. As much as it would break my heart and hers I had to tell her.

"Yes." I said. I could not lie to her. She was too perfect; too pure.

"Yes...? Yes, what..?" She pulled away from me and smiled. "What are you talking about, Erik?"

"Yes... to your question earlier." I said.

"What question?" She asked; eyes now questioning me. Reluctantly I stood up and took a step backwards.

"You... you asked me... earlier... don't you remember?"

"What... are you talking about?" she repeated. She asked the question again but part of me could sense that she already knew to what I was referring...

"You asked me about Buquet." I said, almost forcing the words out through gritted teeth. "My answer is yes." Finally, the recognition painted on her face brought tears to my eyes, for I knew that this was the end.

"But... wait..." She closed her book and sat up. Purposefully inching away from me.

"Look, Christine..." Immediately I had regretted my choice. Honesty had never gotten me anywhere, why would it now?

"Wait, wait... my question. Surely you aren't answering 'yes' to my question...Yes? What... am I hearing..?"

"Christine, please..."

"No... Erik, tell me that you aren't saying what I think you are? Tell me!"

"I..." I wished that I could. I wanted nothing more than for this to be a lie... one big joke just as my life had been. "I... can't" I managed, my voice breaking with emotion. "Please..."

"Erik... no." She said, standing up and shaking her head in disbelief. "No!"

"Please! Just listen to my reasoning!" I begged, walking towards her. I could see that she was beginning to weep and I wanted nothing more than to hold her but I knew that she would not allow it. Who would want to be comforted by a murderer?

"Reasoning? What reasoning could there be for... murder?" She said the last word with such venom that I felt my stomach turn and she stepped back as soon as she had uttered the word aloud.

"You don't know that man, Christine. I had seen him spying on me; watching me! I cannot have people seeing me. Do you understand? I had almost caught him when..."

"...When I found you." She looked down as she finished my sentence for me, still shaking her head.

"Yes" I said.

Yes... You stopped me.

You saved his life.

You... prolonged his life.

"Dear god. You took his life because he saw you, Erik?"

"That isn't all, Christine!" I said, stepping towards her once more. A piece of me broke inside when she intentionally moved away from me... "He spies on you and the rest of the ballet de corps, he was... he was a letch!"

"And so he had to die? What gives you the right to take someone's life, Erik?"

"Right?!" How dare she?

"Yes!"

"I had every right!" My voice echoed through the caverns.

"Did you? And what of his rights? Who gives you the right to decide?" She asked, now walking toward me and pointing an accusatory finger in my direction.

"His rights?! Why does he have rights?!" I was becoming increasingly defensive. "How is it that he can be allowed rights... such simple rights; the right to live, unhindered, the right to walk among the living..." I looked down. "...A right to a mate... How is he allowed these rights when I am denied them? Can you answer me that, Christine? I give myself the right to decide who lives and who dies... and why should I not? Do you think that God should decide? Why does he have the right? I have no God, Christine. God abandoned me when he cursed me with this!" I gestured to my mask, forgetting that she was ignorant to what lay beneath it."

She stared at me, momentarily silenced by what she had heard.

"Who are you?" She asked, visibly weeping.

"Me..?" I stepped toward her again, my anger melting away at the sight of her tears. I needed to hold her... I needed to feel her in my arms at least once more before she banished me; sent me back to darkness. "I... I am the same person, Christine! I am... me!" I took her hand and placed it on my chest but she snatched it away. "Christine... I am still Erik! Nothing has changed!"

"Everything has changed."

"Don't say that... please! He... could have hurt you, Christine... He could have hurt you and what then? That, I could not forgive. Did you honestly feel safe around him?" I asked.

"Well, I don't feel safe around you!" She replied. At these words I staggered backward; I felt as though a thin, cold blade had punctured my chest and remained there, burning...

"You... what?"

"I don't. I don't feel safe. Will you... will you take me back please?"

"Don't say that! Christine... I would never hurt you! You know that!" I reached out for her hand only to have her pull away from me once more.

"Please..." She begged. What was she doing?

"You... you think I would hurt you?" I dropped to my knees before her. "I would sooner die than see you come to harm! You... how could you think such a thing of me?"

"Please take me back." She repeated, shrinking back.

"You need not fear me, Môn ange!" I cried.

"Won't you take me back?" A lone tear trailed down her cheek. She would not even look at me.

"I..." What was I doing? Why was I begging? If she wanted me to take her back, I would. There was no use in her being with me if it was against her will... She would only come to fear me more and I couldn't stand for her to treat me like this. It was breaking my heart. "Yes, of... of course if you wish for me to take you back, I will..."

"Thank you." She breathed, still not meeting my gaze. It was always the same... I had only ever evoked two emotions from people; fear or disgust. I suppose disgust would have been worse...

"Christine... I..." I reached for her once more but she shrunk away from my touch. I stood up, tears in my eyes and my heart in pieces. "I would not hurt you... please know that."

"I don't know anything about you..." She said, finally looking at me.

I stared at her then, doing my best to keep my emotion in check. Perhaps she hated me... I had been right, but I would have my dignity. She would not take that from me. I would cry. I would lose myself in the depths of despair. I would tear myself apart from the inside out... But she would not see it. She would not. Part of me wanted to hate her for the way she was acting; wanted to admonish her for reacting in such a way to what I had done, wanted to loathe her for making me feel like I did. But I was a murderer. Her reaction was only natural. She deserved to hate me... How could I justify what I had done by telling her that he was a bad person and that her life was in danger around him? As true as these things were, nothing excused what I had done. I would take her back. I would take her back and leave her be. It would be like we had never even met.

We didn't speak as we traveled back to the surface. She tried her best not to make eye contact with me and when she did by accident, she quickly looked away. That I was used to... I wanted to scream apologies, I wanted to weep, to beg her to forgive me but I knew that it would not help. I had lost her. As terrible as the journey was, I relished being in her company for I knew that soon it would end. Soon I would be condemned to my black solitude once more and the dream I had been permitted to live would be at an end.

As we neared the end of the spiral staircase, it became too much to bear. It felt as though I was wounding her, tainting her just by being in her presence and I knew that I had to leave. I could feel her fear and it was breaking me. I needed to get back to my home. Back to where I belonged...

"You know your way from here, I trust." I said, halting a few steps behind her.

She stopped and glanced down at me.

"...Yes." For the first time since my confession she deliberately made eye contact with me. I did not look away and as I felt tears stinging my eyes, I saw them begin to well up in hers.

"Christine...I..." I began to speak but decided against it. I took a deep breath and lifting my cape slightly I turned and started back down the stairs.

I did not look back. It tore me apart but I did not look back.