A/N: Hello, hello everyone! Sorry it's been a while, but I think this 10,000 word chapter makes up for the absence, no? Anyway, happy summer, and congratulations to those who just graduated high school/ middle school, or for those who just survived another year.

I'm going to be busy these next few weeks, finishing a lot of fics, as well as finally taking "21 Hump Street" off hiatus and starting a new USUK fic.

That being said, before we get to recommendations, let me be annoying and reiterate something real quick. All the good authors are dropping this fandom – the ones who write long chapters – because they're finding that the effort isn't worth it (although some troopers are sticking through, also, I'm not implying that I'm good lmao). We authors want to hear from you guys, so if you like something, you're gonna have to support them, shocking right? :D We're doing this for free!

I MEAN REALLY?! 10 followers for a 20 chapter fic? (a made up example, but this is what the update page is like now). I'm calling bullshit. I haven't seen a drop in visitors, like at all, so people are still in this fandom, just not active. I haven't lost hope just yet.

Regardless, you guys have been amazing and really supportive here, so thank you thank you thank you a million.

Miaw (guest): Hello! Actually, I'm drowning out RusAme on purpose. If you have an account, feel free to PM me, it's always helpful to run through the plot and find places to critique. Thank you very much for your feedback.

I'd also like to thank the authors of TalentlyChallenged, as in a PM a while back all three of discussed what it would be like to explore Matthew's sporty competitive side ;)

RECOMMENDATIONS!

#1: "Masquerade of Murder" by "1-800fangirl" A thrilling 2P murder mystery two-shot. As a Criminology student, this is very satisfying to read, as well as for anyone who likes to theorize about the plot.

#2: "Like a Bullfighter" by "LilyChristmas" A mysterious, charming Spamano multi-chapter that is a quick and pleasurable read. Antonio is the bullfighter (obviously) and Romano is an architecture student. Personally, I think the author got Romano bang on.

#3: "The A-1 Al" by "tclemens" A sweet, slice of life/ historical AU set in the 1920s. It includes an OC, but honestly, it explores something we've all probably wondered about. What happens when a nation falls in love with a human? Reading breezed for me with this one. It's delightful.

#4: An author recommendation. "SkylarEQuinn" I've read a few of their stories, and their writing is amazing and crafty. They also have a similar sense of humour in their teen AUs as you'll find here. But, since I'm a hoe for anything Spamano, I read their Spamano story first: "I Don't Want To Set The World On Fire" Just read every one their stories. Honestly. The author themself recommended their story "Sleep"

#5: "Divulging Peculiarities" by "DestineyTot" A FrUk vampire AU with some of the most beautiful prose I've ever had the opportunity of reading. A gem if I've ever seen one, and no, the vampires don't sparkle, but the plot sure does.

For those of you who send me recommendations to my tumblr at "Ellawritesficssometimes" I don't answer the questions in the askbox, but I do accept all of them. So just know that I do see them and I am keeping track. I mainly use said blog to upload my dank/cringey Hetalia memes. Seriously, I've gotten way more interaction there than here lmao. If you PM me here, then I respond. So, if you want to remain anonymous, reach me through tumblr.

Anyways, enjoy and thank you, fellow cinnamon buns of Hetalia.

-Ella

A Merry Proposal and a Happy New Union:

December 23rd:

The entire café was in a state of chaos, so of course I was losing my shit. We were understaffed and overworked. There were just way too many fucking people to keep up with. Orders were going in one ear, and out the other. And don't even get me started on the alcohol. Whose brilliant idea was it to make the event BYOB, anyway? There was absolutely zero regulation of drunkenness, and people were dropping like flies. I can't count how many idiots I've had to step over. Feliks seemed pretty happy about these new obstacles though; it gave him the opportunity to practice fancy jumps with his fabulous fucking roller-skates.

Oh, just in case you fuckers were wondering, this was the big Christmas party we've been planning for months in advance. The café was decked out with excessive holiday decorations. For one thing, us employees were forced to wear elf costumes and slippers that had bells on the tips of them. The rest of the customers were just wearing standard greens, reds, and whites, ranging from suits, to dresses and stockings for the bellas. It was a formal event, requiring tickets and reservations beforehand.

Several tables in the middle of the room had been pushed together to form a buffet platform, covered by a white handmade cloth that Ludwig the wonder potato had knitted. Apparently, said starch fuckboy had learned how to knit because of how often Feli falls and tears his clothes. What the fuck ever.

The back of the café was rearranged into a make-shift drinking area, consisting of a semi-circle bar table with several stools hugging its circumference. The people there were more focused on the hockey match playing on the flat screen TV above them, shouting slurred insults, and lazily draping their arms over each other. I tuned out of their lunacy, having way more important things to do. As long as they weren't beating the crap out of each other, we wouldn't have a problem.

Other entertainment for this event included a photo booth and a puppy pit, where Jowltito and Winston Grrchill were on guard duty in the front. The two pups were dressed up as reindeer; fucking adorable, right? Well, maybe if Jowltito wasn't such a sour puss it would have been cuter. And no, I totally did not see his wide brown eyes give me a sad, pleading look. No. No. No. I didn't see it. Nope. Fuck to the fucking nope…

Next to said pups, Liza and Mei were manning the entrance and ticket area. They both looked stunning; Liza was wearing a halter dress that matched her eye colour and her hair was pinned up in an artful bun with a few strands hanging in her face, while Mei was wearing a strapless burgundy dress, her long brown curls cascading down her chest elegantly.

The softer, non-cold-hearted bastard side of me felt horrible upon realizing how miserable Liza was feeling. The smiles on her face weren't fooling me any time soon. The crazy bitch was depressed since Roderich wouldn't be coming home for Christmas.

The aristocratic asshat hadn't even given her two days' notice; he had let her get excited about him coming home for weeks. Apparently, some last-minute concert was more important than seeing his girlfriend of almost three years. I swear, even though she could be unbelievably nosy and annoying at times, Liza deserved better. Weird as it was, I saw Liza as an older sister, and didn't like seeing her get hurt. Roderich better watch himself the next time he comes here, because the inner mafioso within me was itching to break that perfect nose of his.

Once this party was over, I would have to check in on her. Now, she seemed a bit preoccupied with beating Vlad at his own game. The Romanian was hosting an alternative Christmas party at his cosplay café. The loser actually thought that people would want to dress up likes it's Halloween in December. Ha! As if! Our café was kicking ass in terms of revenue. Alfred was also making sure to document this on the campus's snapchat, just to rub it in our competition's – if you could even call them that – faces.

"Lovi! Mi amor!" I turned around, flushing when I saw Antonio struggle through the crowd to get to me. As always, the idiot looked frustratingly gorgeous. Literally, he could be wearing a paper bag and he'd still be hot. He was wearing a bright red blouse, which was something only he could pull off, dress pants, and a black tie. His normally messy brown curls were tamed with a half-ass amount of hair gel; you could tell that he had given up half-way through. Instead, he had opted to tuck his bangs behind his ears.

I stopped for Antonio, looking anywhere but him. He must have caught on to my embarrassment because a smug wisp of a smile crept onto his face. "Lovi, darling. Don't you just look muy adorable tonight," he crooned, bending down to place his face in front of mine.

"Shut it, bastard," I grunted. "Let it out. Make fun of me. I'm giving you one opportunity to do so before I completely lose it on you."

I spread out both arms, giving Antonio a twirl. I also stuck up both middle fingers at him, but Antonio knew that I was only joking. Well, kind of. We had a hate-love-hate relationship that allowed for these kind of things.

Much to my displeasure, Antonio whistled, his eyes drawn primarily on the tight, bright neon stockings I was wearing. I think it's already been established that I have a nice ass; ahem, moving on.

"Acts like the Grinch with the looks of an angel," Antonio remarked, chuckling. "Oh, Lovi. Don't give me that look. Here, I know what will cheer you up~! See! I brought wine! Just for us to drink!" he winked.

I held out my hand expectantly. "Fork it over. I'm going to need some to get through the rest of the night."

Antonio opened the wine bottle, but, being a shit-disturber himself, he took a large sip from it first.

"Oi!" I whined, while Antonio proceeded to take a massive chug from the wine bottle. "You don't know what I've been through so far! Antonio!"

Antonio finally lowered the bottle from his lips, licking the excess wine with a playful flick of the tongue. I just about ripped off his hand as I grabbed the wine bottle from him and took a 'tasteful' chug. I was too agitated and cranky to even bother worrying about glasses or 'etiquette'.

Once I finished drinking, I sighed, lowering the bottle. I could already feel most of my nerves calming and relaxing. Feliciano and I were massive light weights, after all. "Fuck, that's strong," I giggled.

"C'mere," I motioned for Antonio. When he didn't move fast enough, I grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pulled him down to eye level. "No mistletoes this time, I'm afraid. You'll just have to deal with being forced to kiss me on a regular occasion."

"Is that really so bad?" Antonio breathed into my face.

"Nope, not at all," I smirked.

I pressed my lips to Antonio's, savoring the sweet taste of wine on his lips. Unfortunately, we couldn't deepen the kiss because Kiku – Liza's hired photographer for the night and full-time shipper of anything yaoi – began to snap photos of us.

Kiku slyly smirked to himself before slinking off to another part of the café. "Decisions, decisions. Which tsundere should I target next?"

I pulled away from Antonio, blinking spots out of my eyes. "Don't you dare get wasted on me tonight. We'll continue this later," I warned, jabbing an index finger into his chest.

Antonio raised both hands in surrender, playfully pouting his lips at me despite the want flickering across his eyes. His retort was cut short when Jowltito let out a massive whine from the puppy pit.

I groaned when Antonio's eyes began to water. That tended to happen when our 'son' became sad and lacked attention.

Before I knew it, Antonio grabbed my wrist and was dragging me towards said puppy.

"Oh, you poor thing!" Antonio whimpered in sympathy, bending down. He reached over the picketed velvet-covered fence to scratch Jowltito's ear. The flashing disco lights made the canine's reindeer outfit shimmer.

"Has Lovi been neglecting you again?"

I crouched next to Antonio, rolling my eyes. "Of course not!" I huffed. "I've been giving him treats all night. Isn't that right, you melodramatic little shit bag? Or are you pretending to have a selective memory again?"

Jowltito was too busy wagging his tail and rubbing his head against the back of Antonio's hand. The little bastard was a moody puppy. At my apartment, he acted lazy and shy, refusing to acknowledge me unless I had food to bribe him with or a soft bed/belly rub to offer. But, with Antonio, he suddenly became a tail-wagging hyperactive growling machine that thrived off attention.

Exhibit A: Antonio picked up Jowltito, and said little bastard proceeded to whine his head off, his frumpy, stubby tail wagging so excessively that his entire butt shook.

"Tsk!" Antonio scolded me, bouncing Jowltito as if he were a baby. "Don't swear in front of him! You know how sensitive he is."

I repressed a scoff. "You're right. I'm sorry. I'll try to remember that the next time he pisses on the rug because I've stopped feeding him bread rolls."

I bent down, lifting Jowltito's floppy ear to hiss my warning. "Knock it off. You're not fooling anyone," I growled.

Jowltito responded by smugly licking my face. "Agh!" I grunted, wiping at my cheek.

Antonio, the dumbass, then had the brilliant idea to hand Jowltito over to me.

Jowltito sniffed my chin, moving downwards until he reached my breast pocket, which, you guessed it, contained another treat. "And why exactly should I give you this treat?" I snarled. "You've done nothing but whine all night, take naps, and let Winston do all the work for you."

"See!" Antonio exclaimed proudly. "You two really are meant for each other. You do the same things~!"

"Do not!" I snapped.

I actually felt Jowltito's chest swell with pride (-?!). He continued to sniff my breast pocket, tickling me with his twitching whiskers.

I gave in when the puppy began to drool with want. "Oh, for the love of fuck. Here, you greedy little monster. When you grow up spoiled and pampered, don't blame me. It's your own stubbornness that's at fault!"

Antonio wrapped an arm over my shoulder, beaming down at his 'family.' "You're the one spoiling him, Lovi," he sighed, red-faced as the alcohol began to set in. "But, isn't he just precious?"

Jowltito was beginning to fall asleep on my shoulder. You can only guess how disgruntled he was when I set him back into the puppy pit. The little bastard even had the audacity to turn around and stick up his butt at me.

Antonio suddenly became handsy. He wrapped both arms around my waist, hugging me from behind. His chin rested against my shoulder. "Hey," he rasped into my ear, causing me to flush from head to toe. I knew that voice, and it usually resulted in me being tackled onto the nearest bed or couch.

"Hey," Antonio repeated, rubbing his cheek against mine. I reeled back a little; he really needed to shave more often. Also, why did he have to become so needy every time he drank? Ugh.

"You already said that," I deadpanned, reaching down to remove the hands he had clasped around my waist.

Unfazed, Antonio continued to enlighten me with his perverted drunken philosophy. "What came first, the bastard or the boyfriend?" he giggled.

"Well, that's easy," I smirked. "I called you a bastard first."

"Oh."

"You're a dumbass."

Liza looked over her shoulder from the ticket booth, angrily motioning for me to get back to work. Although being a bit disheartened that she wasn't ogling over Antonio and I's questionable position, she was right. Seriously, though! What had Roderich done to her?! Usually her nose would be full-on bleeding by now!

I pointed towards a random corner in the café. "Look, bastard! There's a plate full of tomatoes!"

Antonio's eyes became as wide as saucers. He looked like a kid in a candy store. "Really, where?"

"There!"

Antonio let go of me in an instant, drunkenly promising that he would steal every one of the tomatoes for us to eat. I watched with amused eyes as he staggered forward, like a bull in a china shop. Francis was quick to intercept him, as he had knocked over several people's drinks in his clumsy wake.

I looked away when Francis escorted Antonio into a booth, where an equally red-faced Arthur was teaching grammar lessons to the "savage-minded, ungrateful text-mongers" of today's generation. The only person listening to him was a silent Norwegian boy named Lukas.

Lukas was probably just trying to distract himself from Matthias, his best friend and roommate, who had his arm wrapped around the Norwegian.

Reassured that Antonio was in safe, albeit paradoxically perverted hands, I set off towards the kitchen. Almost immediately, an agitated customer snapped his fingers at me.

"I ordered a soda for my little sister over half an hour ago!" Vash, a stuck up stingy Swiss man snapped. I always gave the cheap bastard horrible service, seeing as he regularly refused to tip his servers. For those of you out there who never tip, I hope you die a slow, horrible death. Your mama did a poor job in raising you.

Lilly, Vash's younger sister, waved her hands at me in apology. "Really, it's all right!" she smiled sweetly. "Just bring it when you can. I know you guys are super busy."

I smiled at Lilly, flirtatiously winking at the young girl – who wasn't actually young, just to be clear. She was a first year, but Vash treated her like she was a fucking toddler – just to get on her brother's paper-thin nerves.

"My apologies, bella," I purred. "Here at the café we strive to satisfy, good, patient girls like you. Your kindness will soon be rewarded with an extra gift."

On cue, Alfred burst out of the kitchen in his Santa Claus outfit, handing out free sample cookies to those customers who hadn't received their orders yet.

I nearly collided with the boisterous American; the sweat beading on his forehead had caused his glasses to fog up.

"Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas, y'all!"

Alfred moved on to serving Ivan's table, which was occupied by the Russian himself, Toris and his younger sister, Natalia. What the hell?! Who let that psycho in here?!

Toris looked like he wanted to be anywhere but sitting next to Ivan. It didn't help that Natalia was glaring at the Lithuanian as if he had just run over her dog.

"Animal cut-out cookies, made specially for you," Alfred-Santa grinned from ear to ear, handing Ivan a plate of shortbread treats.

Despite being seated across from his sister, which was enough to ruin any normal person's mood, Ivan smiled. Except his smile wasn't creepy like it usually was. It hinted towards genuine happiness and child-like wonder.

"Just for me?" Ivan gasped.

"Yep!" Alfred-Santa exclaimed. "You've been a good boy, Ivan. And you have a big heart, too. You help others… but don't forget to ask for help yourself, if you need it! There are many people around who love you just as much as you love them."

Ivan clearly didn't recognize that it was Alfred behind the costume. "Okay~!"

Alfred and Natalia exchanged nods with each other, before Alfred hustled off to serve other tables. What unnerved me most was that I've never seen Natalia act so calm before.

Something in my gut suspected that she must have been blackmailing Alfred with something. It was the only explanation I could think of. If Alfred wasn't so prideful about his 'hero' status, I would help bail him out. But, we all knew Alfred would never let that happen.

Upon passing under the make-shift bar and flat screen television area, I turned back in shock when I heard Matthew, of all people, swear violently in both French and English.

Matthew, Gilbert, Berwald and Tino were watching the Olympics. There was some sort of hockey match going on. Shocking me once again, Matthew slammed his beer on the counter, sticking up the middle finger at the screen. His face was red from yelling and drinking. In other words, the Canadian was plastered and enraged; a deadly combo.

"Tabarnac! Does that moron of a ref not know how to call a fucking penalty?! That bastard nearly took off Subban's head!" Matthew growled, angrily taking a sip from his beer.

Matthew was wearing a standard Canadian jersey (on top of his elf outfit), while the Swedish and Finnish couple next to him were donning their own country's respective jersey. Meanwhile, Gilbert cluelessly watched the TV, piss drunk. He was whining about how unawesome it was that Matthew kept elbowing him accidentally. Gilbert also became handsy and needy when intoxicated.

The hockey match, from what I could tell, appeared to be between Canada and Sweden. The game was tied with both teams having not scored a goal. I leaned against the wall outside the kitchen, amusedly deciding to observe this new side of Matthew I had never seen before. What a mistake that was.

When Canada scored a goal, Matthew procured a serving towel from nowhere and began to wave it around his head like a helicopter. "Ole ole oleeeeeeeeeee!" he cheered, smugly fisting his hockey jersey.

Gilbert looked at Berwald, who didn't seem to be very happy about Matthew's loud gloating. Tino was patting the stoic Swede's shoulder, knowing that he was secretly fuming on the inside.

"Hey, Mattie? You might want to tone it down a little… it's only a goal…"

Matthew just about exploded, looking like he was about to bitch slap Gilbert with his serving towel. Woops, I spoke too soon.

SLAP!

Fuck, where was a camera when I needed one?! Kiku? What's Gucci, you closet perv?

"Just a goal?" Matthew spluttered. "Just a goal?! This isn't just about a goal, you jackass! It's about national pride! And I, Matthew Williams, as a citizen of a glorious, questionably tolerant nation, must show my patriotism by cheering on my brothers to victory! IN ALL THY SONS COMMAND, EITHER SHUT THE FUCK UP OR PRAY TO THE MAPLE GODS THAT WE WIN THIS MATCH!"

Gilbert rubbed his sore eye, shrinking back into his seat. "Note to mein awesome self: never question or insult Mattie's obsession with hockey. Even better, just stay clear of the subject all together."

Matthew grabbed Gilbert by the cuff of his shirt when the latter attempted to slink off somewhere else. "Not so fast, Gil!" Matthew growled. "I need someone to refill my beer and give me moral support!"

"Moral support?" Gilbert complained. "I'm the one in need of emotional support. I still can't see out of my left eye!"

Another few minutes passed before the first period concluded. Canada had scored another quick goal and was now leading the game with a 2-0 lead.

Smugly, Matthew turned to grin at Berwald, who was agitatedly gripping his own mug of beer. The whites of the Swede's knuckled were showing. Tino nervously flitted back and forth like a bird sensing the oncoming of a storm.

"Calm down, Tinny, everything will be fine! Just fine! Hahaha!" Tino laughed, pain and fear evident in his violet eyes.

Everything was not 'just fine'. It didn't take a genius to realize that.

"Hey, bonjour, loser!" Matthew cackled, yes cackled. Who was this person and what did he do with Liza's preciously shy maple child? "How does it feel to lose, Waldy? Your team is full of wussies. Aw, is that a tear coming out of your eye? Might as well just give up, eh?"

"Shut your tr'p bef're I shut it f'r you," Berwald glared at Matthew, blue eyes glinting with rage behind his glasses.

Gilbert tensed. If he were a dog, the shackles on his back would be raised.

"Speaking of shut, did I mention that our goalie is going for a shut-out tonight?! HA! Suck it! No one likes a sore loser, Waldy. Go wah wah wah all the way home once you're eliminated. For now, just be grateful that us Canadians are going easy on you Swedes."

Berwald had had enough. He stood up from his chair, a towering giant in comparison to Matthew, despite the Canadian being tall himself.

"You t'lk too m'ch when you're dr'nk," Berwald grunted. "Perh'ps we sh'uld change th't?"

Matthew stood up from his own seat, tilting his chin at the furious Swede, an unfamiliar confidence gracing his facial expression. "Do you have a problem with me supporting my team?"

"Kesese," Gilbert laughed nervously. "Mattie, sit down. People are starting to stare. We shouldn't make a scene."

Tino tugged on Berwald's forearm. "Just ignore him, Ber. We can watch the game without having to talk to them."

Matthew held up a hand to Gilbert's face, silencing him for once. "Screw worrying about making a scene. I'm concerned that fish-boy still thinks his team can actually win this."

Tino let out an exasperated sigh. He stepped away from Berwald, accepting that a fight between the newfound sports fan rivals was inevitable.

Luckily, help was already on its way.

"You asked f'r it, k'd," Berwarld warned, raising two massive fists to the air. "F'rget ins'lting me. I w'n't let you ins'lt my country with'ut any reprec'ssions."

"FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!"

"Oh, mein Gott," Gilbert facepalmed. "Of course now of all times he decides to speak up for once."

"Get him, Ber!" Matthias cheered from the other end of the café, earning himself a smack on the back of the head from Lukas.

"Imbecile," Lukas muttered under his breath.

Matthew raised his fists in reciprocation, arrogantly hopping up and down on his feet. "With glowing hearts, we see thee rise," he smugly kissed both fists before looking Berwald directly in the eye.

Matthew then made a come-hither motion at Berwald. "Come get, biyatch."

I looked at my friend's impending doom through my fingers. What?! Did you really expect me to get in the middle of that fight?! Berwald was a fucking giant, and I liked my face the way it was! It wasn't my fault that Matthew became a cocky little shit when drunk!

Just when the feuding hockey partisans were about to have at it, Alfred-Santa stepped into the figurative arena to separate them, saving the party.

"Woah ho-ho-ho-ho! Looks like you boys have had enough to drink!"

Somehow, Matthew was slung over Alfred-Santa's shoulders. Gilbert followed the two feuding twins, head bowed in shame of his boyfriend's rowdy behaviour. The fact that Matthew almost got his face punched in must have sobered the albino.

I let myself sigh in relief when Alfred-Santa used his belt to strap Matthew to a chair.

"You can watch the game from here," Alfred-Santa lectured the hissing Canadian.

"Mon tabarnak j'vais te décalisser la yeule, calice!" Matthew looked over Alfred's shoulder, glaring at Berwarld's turned back.

"Ho Ho Ho! I don't know what that means, but Santa knows it's something very naughty!"

Relieved that Matthew would survive the night, I turned on my heels and entered the kitchen. As expected, Ludwig and Feliciano were getting drunk off beer and wine as they prepared the long string of orders I had given to them.

"Luddy, ve. When we get home tonight, can we cuddle?"

Ludwig laughed, yes laughed. Holy fuck, he really was drunk. "Sure, but only if I get to be the big spoon, ja?"

AH! AH! AH! My ears! The pain! Where was the holy water when I needed it?! I couldn't stop convulsing. Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew!

Thankfully, the potato and airhead couple didn't notice me hurriedly cut two slices of apple strudel. I plated the two desserts with trembling hands and left the kitchen with my ears still burning.

I practically sprinted over to the ticket booth with my tail – more like the black flap of my elf outfit – between my legs.

And no, I didn't hear Antonio's catcall or Jowltito's equally as needy whine.

I placed a hand on Liza's shoulder, clearing my throat. "So, how are my two favourite crazy bitches doing tonight?"

Mei handed a girl a ticket before sighing in exasperation. "Just great!" she said sarcastically. "We're definitely winning this competition in terms of revenue, but at what cost? Our sanity? I'm getting blisters just from stamping people."

Liza cupped her face with both hands. "Could be better," she answered. "I'm starving." She perked a little when I handed her and Mei their slices of apple strudel.

"Thought so," I smirked. "I've known you guys long enough to know when you get your hunger pangs."

"Thanks, Lovi!" Mei trilled, already half way through her treat.

Liza smiled weakly at me, sourly blowing stray hairs out of her face.

"Hey," I chided. "Cheer up, will you? You're kicking that vampire bastard's ass. That's always a reason to celebrate."

"True," Liza hummed before narrowing her eyes in a shrewd scowl. "Speak of the devil."

Vlad, Milen, Raivis, and a blond spectacled boy with a bowl cut meekly approached the café from the outside. Vlad and Milen were dressed in their usual vampire and vampire hunter attire, while Raivis and the other boy were wearing skeleton-themed clothing.

"Vlad, what a displeasure it is to see you," Liza smiled coldly, baring her teeth.

Upon hearing Vlad's name, Jowltito and Winston circled their pen, growling lowly. They were trained to respond negatively to any mention of the Romanian.

Vlad spared a wary look at the 'menacing' reindeer puppies off to the left.

Meanwhile, Milen looked content with using his 'stake' to play and poke fun at the growling puppies. Winston, stubborn as a mule, clenched his jaw around the 'stake' and refused to let go.

"Liza, Mei, Lovino," Vlad acknowledged dryly.

"Oh, for stakes sake, get over here, Milen!" Vlad grabbed Milen by the collar, pulling him away from the puppy pit.

"But my stick!" Milen wailed, closing his mouth when Vlad levelled him with a cold glare.

That's one point for Winston and Jowltito, and another step for canine kind.

Liza crossed her arms, while Mei took out her phone to film this momentous occasion. "What can I do for you, asshole?" she asked the Romanian, curling her lip at him for good measure.

Vlad appeared flustered at this comment, nervously tugging at the collar of his cape. "Well," he sighed. "It appears that my café has emptied itself of all customers. And, seeing as it is the holidays, and trusting that you're not really a stone-cold bitch, I assumed you wouldn't mind a few extra guests traversing this so-called 'party' of yours."

"That's where you're wrong," Liza grinned. "I do mind. Very much, in fact. You see, for someone to be a guest of mine, they must respect my business. Since you do not respect my business, or anything it stands for, I am very much inclined to refuse you service. Do you understand where I'm coming from?"

Liza didn't give Vlad a chance to answer.

"But, you are right about one thing. I'm not a stone-cold bitch. I'm a ruthless, petty bitch. Now, this situation can end in two ways. One, you refuse to respect my business, and I'll kindly turn you away. Or two, you respect my business and I welcome you into this wonderful establishment with kind, loving arms. Your choice."

"And how exactly do we respect your business?" Milen asked.

Liza drummed her nails against the ticket booth table. "You get on your knees, beg for forgiveness like the dogs you are, and admit that my café is the leading business on campus."

Damn. She was ruthless!

Liza turned to spot Raivis and his friend for the first time. "Raivis, honey," she cooed. "I didn't see you there. Come in, come in. Bring your friend too. Welcome to the Gay-OK café! Where all sexualities and kinks are welcome~!" she recited at the top of her head.

Raivis squeaked, no doubt remembering Liza's obsession with turning him into a maid, before his bespectacled friend shoved him forward. "Let's go before she changes her mind."

"O-o-okay!"

"Raivis! Eduard!" Ivan called out. "Over here."

I made the sign of the cross, praying that Raivis and Eduard made it out alive at the end of the night. Even if they were my enemies, I wasn't a complete monster.

"What. The. Hell," Vlad turned his head to whisper harshly into Milen's ear. "The hag is really asking for it now."

"Shh! Just do as she says!" Milen snapped. "I want to get drunk. You already abandoned your pride the moment you underestimated that crazy-pan-chick."

Milen was right. A stick would never fare well in a battle against Liza's pan.

"Don't you dare start with this again!"

"Say it, damn you!"

Vlad sneered, looking as if he wanted to rip out Liza's throat with his fake fangs. "Fine. Your business is agreeable, there!" he huffed, dramatically swinging his cape. "Now, let us in, woman!"

Liza waggled an index finger back and forth. She smirked, knowing this was the best admission she would get out of Vlad. "Ah-ah-ah! I'm not done just yet. I'm flattered at your pathetic attempt to, well, flatter me, but there are two other things that must be done before I allow you guys in."

"And what is that?!" Vlad exploded, comically stomping his foot against the ground.

"I want a photo of you two kissing at the photo booth. For, um… a trophy of my victory, that is!"

I rolled my eyes.

"Done," Vlad crossed his arms, chewing on his bottom lip. "And…?"

"And, I want you to let me fix your foundation," Liza wrinkled her nose. "If you're going for the pale, dead look, at least bother to color your neck, you outdated fashionless baboon."

Milen laughed, cupping a hand over his mouth. "Oh, shit. She got you good there, sweetie."

Mei, Milen, and I all watched in amusement as Liza pulled out a wet-wipe and several blending sponges from underneath the ticket table. Vlad sat on his knees before Liza, grudgingly allowing her to fix his makeup. Mei and I took shots every time Liza said "good boy" to the deranged Romanian, treating him as if he were a dog.

By the end of it, Vlad's make up looked remarkably better. Rather than caked and splotchy, his ivory skin looked like it had been carved out of marble; smooth and clear-cut with sharp angles.

However, the world would likely end before Vlad ever admitted that to Liza.

Milen grabbed Vlad's hand. Just when the couple was about to walk away, Liza called out to them.

"Hey!"

"Da?" Vlad cocked his head to the side in question.

Liza smiled faintly, sadness lurking at the corners of her eyes. "Merry Early Christmas," she muttered.

Vlad's expression faltered before he cleared his throat and reciprocated with a wider, fang-filled grin.

"Merry Early Christmas to you too…"

Vlad turned his back on Liza.

"…you insufferable, yaoi-happy lunatic."

…

It was just past two in the morning when us employees began to clean up the ragged mess that the Christmas party had left behind. Thankfully, I wasn't on mopping or bathroom duty. Ugh, just ugh.

Antonio had left to take a sleep-logged Jowltito – who, once wrapped in a blanket had been deemed as a 'puppy burito' – back to my dorm room.

As of now, I was sweeping the floor and moving the tables back into place.

I spotted Liza looking out the front glass window, her expression morose and unfittingly bland. Wanting to do something about it, I set down my broom and jingled over to the Hungarian – I was still wearing my elf costume, remember? – with the full intent of cheering her up.

I draped an arm over Liza's shoulder, joining her in her snow-gazing. "Don't look so sad, Liz," I simpered. "You're killing me here. I'm sure he'd be here if he could."

Liza sighed, resting her cheek on my shoulder. Okay, she was seriously scaring me now. "That doesn't change a thing, Lovino. He picked a concert over me. We've been together for so long. I don't know, I was just expecting…more I guess. I feel like we're growing apart, and I just keep pushing it all away. I'm pretty enough, right? You don't think he's found another girl?"

"What the fuck?!" I spluttered. "Of course, you're pretty enough. You're fucking gorgeous. Only an idiot would cheat on you. Have you even looked at your body lately?! Men love curves! Roderich may be stubborn, but he's not blind. Okay, he wears glasses, but that's besides the point. Look, when he gets back, just talk to him, all right? And make sure to give him hell too! You shouldn't have to put up with this crap!"

Liza pursed her lips together, not quite a smile, but something close to it. "You're right. Thanks, Lovi," she said, pulling me into a hug. "I can always rely on you to be there for me."

"Of course. That's what friends are for." I returned the hug, breaking away from it when Mei came scurrying towards us from the back room. There was a sense of mission in her eyes that made me feel suspicious. The Taiwanese girl was holding Liza's faux winter coat jacket.

"Why don't you go home early, Liz?" Mei suggested, handing Liza her winter coat and helping her into it. "We can take care of things from here."

Kiku nodded his head, opening the front door while Mei just about shoved Liza out of the café. "Get some sleep," he fondly told the Hungarian. "You look like you could use some."

Liza looked suspicious of Kiku and Mei herself, but was too tired to question them. "Well, if you guys say so. Night," she yawned. "And thanks for being such good friends."

"Any time!" Mei trilled, speaking for Kiku as well. "Now get going before you catch a cold!"

I waited until Liza was out of sight before I turned to glare at Mei and Kiku, who were looking more and more suspicious by the minute. "Spit it out," I barked. "What the fuck are you two planning?"

Mei placed a finger over his lips. "Shh! You'll find out soon. Get changed, and tell everyone to meet me at my apartment in ten. We can clean up the place tomorrow, since everything is closed."

"Heh?" I frowned.

"Just do it, trust me!" Mei winked.

I looked to Kiku for help. Instead, I received a firm nod in agreement.

"Fine," I relented with a grumble, pinching the bridge of my nose as if it would help make my migraine disappear. "I'll go tell everyone."

The only reason I was helping them was because whatever they were planning would likely result in making Liza feel better…

Just to be clear.

..

We were all gathered in Mei's apartment, which was only a two-block walk from campus. It was a large one floor space with a separate kitchen, living room, lounge, bathroom, jacuzzi room, a terrace, and one master bedroom.

Most bizarre about the place was how cute it was; every decoration, pillow, cloth, or rug was styled with bright colours such as pink, blue, green, and purple. Several posters of manga and anime cut-outs were found in every corner and on every wall. Even so, the leather, custom-made furniture, bar island, and heated flooring were features much too luxurious for just a simple college student.

Seeing as how Mei lived across from Liza, who had all her school and living expenses paid for by Roderich, her parents were probably rich too.

If only Nonno let Feliciano and myself live in an actual apartment. We lived in the suite section of our dorm building, but hey, you guys probably don't want to hear me complaining about rich kid problems. It was for this exact reason that Nonno didn't let us live off campus. He wanted us to have the 'traditional' college experience. Ack, whatever. I'm rambling now, aren't I?

But can you blame me?

I had a tipsy koala Spaniard hugging me from behind, refusing to let go. Gilbert warned me I was lucky he was just tipsy, if you can even believe it. Apparently, when Antonio was really drunk, he became violent. Either way, it's not like I minded his bastard presence. I was still cold from the walk to Mei's apartment. I hadn't been wearing a warm winter coat either, so I'd take all the warmth I could get.

We were all sitting in the lounge, which consisted of a semi-circle of black leather couches. Antonio, as stated before, opted to hug me from the side instead, resting his left cheek against my collar-bone. I absently pet his head, while everyone continued to chatter at an obnoxiously loud volume. I would need to get some water in me if I didn't want to suffer from a mild hangover in the morning.

Mei and Kiku had gotten a large number of people to come here on such short notice. There was myself and Antonio, the potato, Feliciano, Gilbert, Matthew, Alfred, Francis, Arthur, Toris, and a very excited and very drunk 'unicorn' who went by the name of Feliks. I say unicorn because Feliks had tied his short blond hair into a front ponytail.

"Yo! Toris!" Alfred bellowed across the room. "Where's Ivan at?"

Toris squirmed on the opposite couch from Alfred, attempting but failing to pry a giggling Feliks off his back. "He, uh, Feliks, will you quit acting like such a child? Oh, there, there. Don't cry, Po. I just need to see who I'm speaking to, that's all. Yes, you're still as fabulous as ever. Of course, I still love you. No, I won't leave you. Yes, I'll take a selfie of 'how cute we are'. But in a minute, kay? Oh, don't give me that look. We both know you can wait."

Feliks whined, burying his head under Toris's armpit.

Toris cleared his throat, staring back at Alfred again now that his Polish boyfriend was placated. "I'm not sure," he answered. "Ivan disappeared before the party ended. He said something about needing time to cool off. He…doesn't exactly feel comfortable in large social gatherings."

Alfred's expression faltered. "Oh," he murmured. "That's too bad. Thanks anyway, buddy."

Toris smiled kindly at the now forlorn American. "Any time. And, Alfred? I wouldn't worry too much about Ivan. I think he just wanted to feel at peace again. To find a quiet space, if you will."

"All right," Alfred pursed his lips, still unsatisfied with the answer the Lithuanian had provided for him.

Antonio blew hot air into my ear, causing me to flinch sharply. "Chigi!" I cursed, blushing when the bastard began to laugh his idiota head off.

"Mi Lovi is so cute," Antonio sighed, nuzzling his head back into my chest. "I love you and your tomato face very much."

I raked a hand through Antonio's curls. Any minute now and he would fall asleep on my lap. "Yeah, yeah, bastard," I grunted, unamused. "I love you too. And please, for the love of God…"

I paused to stop Antonio's hand from sliding down my thigh. "Keep your hands to yourself."

Antonio's eyes watered.

I let out a loathsome sigh, bending down to whisper into his ears. "If you can wait until we get home, I'm all yours. Feli's staying over at the potato's tonight."

Antonio perked up like a dog who had just been given a bone. He looked up to meet my gaze, his green eyes adorably lighting up with excitement. "Really?" he mouthed.

I nodded, sparing him with a sly smile. "Si, really."

Antonio grinned from ear to ear, and I just about died from embarrassment. He was giving me the "Nala" look. Now everyone in the room would know what we planned to do later tonight. The idiot was like an open book, shameless in making his intentions vulnerable for any stranger to read.

"Could you be a little more subtle?" I hissed at him.

Antonio giggled, yes giggled. "I can't!" he wheezed. "Mi amor, you just look so adorable. I want to hug and squeeze you all the time."

Concluding that Antonio was a lost case, I gave up on scolding him. I just let the bastard smother himself all over me, ignoring the amused looks that were thrown our way.

Thankfully, Mei whistled to get everyone's attention not long afterwards. Kiku stood beside his girlfriend, turning around briefly to open the curtains in front of the balcony to peek outside before closing them shut again.

"Hey! I'd just like to thank you all for coming. Now, I know what you're all wondering. Why am I here, when I could totally be spooning my same-sex spouse? Well, fear not, children, for I have some very good news for you!"

Mei clapped her hands together, her large brown eyes sparking with uncontainable anticipation.

"Turns out, Roderich was never going to miss Christmas with Liza. He wanted to surprise her tonight, that's all! He plans to propose to her, and it'll be happening any minute now. I just thought you would all want to bear witness to it, seeing as how supportive she is of everyone else's love life."

"Here, here! To l'amour!" Francis cheered, prompting the rest of the room to clap and squeal in excitement.

Arthur draped a lazy arm over Francis's shoulder. "To l'amoo or whatever it was you called it," he slurred with a horrible French accent, placing a sloppy kiss against Francis's jawline.

This was the first time I've ever seen Francis blush. What's more, I've never seen him be silenced so easily.

Kiku cleared his throat, reaching for his camera. "We must be quiet now. It appears the Liza-san has entered her apartment."

"Wait, a minute," I called out. "Did Roderich tell you this himself?"

"Hai," Kiku nodded his head, waving his hands frantically to get everyone to shut up. Ludwig had resorted to clamping a hand over a babbling Feliciano's mouth.

Mei opened the curtains, revealing a full view of Liza's living room across the street. The crazy bitch had nothing to hide, which is probably why she left her curtains wide open.

"Does he know we're watching this?" I inquired again.

Mei placed a finger over her lips, shushing me. "No, but he'll thank me later."

"Dio," I facepalmed. "Don't you fangirls have any shame?"

The cryptic expression on Mei's face answered my question. Not to mention the walkie talkie she had in her hand, which broadcasted sound from the Hungarian's apartment.

"Shit!" Gilbert sniffled, rubbing at his eyes. "It took that arsehole long enough. I don't know how many times I've told that crazy chick she deserves better though..."

Matthew, who had long been sobered, rubbed Gilbert's forearm in comfort. Meanwhile, Gilbird nervously flitted around his owner's head, cheeping with worry. Where the heck did that bird come from anyway?

"Oh, Gil," Matthew simpered, reaching over to hug Gilbert. "Are you crying? It's all right if you are."

"I'm not crying," Gilbert whimpered, pouting childishly. "My eyes are just happy for her."

Matthew rolled his eyes, knowing better than to poke at his boyfriend's questionable pride. "Anything you say, Gil."

Kiku gasped, yes gasped. "Oh my! It's happening!" he exclaimed.

Mei giddily jumped up and down on her feet while everyone raced to the window to see this spectacle for themselves.

And yes.

I was one of those people.

I could be happy for Liza too, damn it.

…

Liza's POV:

Despite the success of the Christmas party, and the copious amounts of yummy gay love in the air, I was so not feeling all that great. Not even triumphing over my arch rival could lift my foul mood.

I felt hollow and empty. Roderich and his unreliability always seemed to have this effect on me. Didn't he realize how much I missed him? Why would he let me become hopeful all these months, only to tell me at the last-minute that he wouldn't be coming after all?

That's what stung the most. After he graduated early last year, we've only grown farther and farther apart. Of course, I was still proud of him. Heck, he was making a name for himself in Europe with his concerts. Don't get me wrong; I didn't expect him to drop and sacrifice his career just to spend time with me. But I at least expected him to call me, and lately, he couldn't even bring himself to do that.

I couldn't help but feel paranoid. I was lonely, and was becoming insecure. What if Roderich had found himself a better life in Europe? A better life with a better woman, who could actually play music? We've been together for three years, three wonderful years. He used to be so sweet and thoughtful. Now, I wondered if he even thought of me at all.

I shook my head free from these thoughts. The loneliness would only get worse over the next two days. I wasn't going home to Hungary to spend the holidays, as I had thought I would be spending it with Roderich. Not anymore, though. Now I would be spending them in my pyjamas, eating ice cream and reading lots of fanfiction to distract myself from realizing how sad and depressed I was.

I jabbed my key into the lock of my front door, pushing it open. I stepped inside my apartment, shrugged off my coat, and hung it up on a nearby rack. I then flicked on the lights – half of which had already been turned on, unbeknownst to me –, stretched my arms, and yawned. I wanted nothing more than to change out of this suffocating dress, rub off my makeup, and go to sleep.

A part of me longed to call Roderich, but I knew I wouldn't get anywhere with that.

I stepped into the living room, halting mid-stride when I spotted Roderich sitting on the couch, glasses off and resting on the coffee table in front of him. The goof thought he looked less plain with glasses, but he didn't actually need them to see. He had such beautiful purple eyes; it was a shame that he covered them most of the time.

He was absently reading a pile of sheet music, one ankle crossed over the other. He looked like he had just gotten off a plane, judging by the slight messiness of his hair and semi casual-blouse and dress pants he was wearing.

Roderich looked up to meet my gaze, causing me to inhale sharply. I hadn't been expecting him and seeing him right there in front of me was all too much to handle at once.

"Elizabeta," Roderich spoke as if he were robbed from all air. His eyes raked up and down my body, not greedily mind you, but in subtle and polite appreciation. "My dear, you look so beautiful tonight. How have you been? It's been so long, I'm afraid. Shamefully long, even."

Roderich stood up to greet me while my vision blurred. Before I knew it, I was crying.

"Elizabeta?" Roderich repeated, this time he sounded alarmed. "Oh, my, my, darling. What's wrong? Why are you crying?"

Roderich placed two hands on my shoulders, his expression filled with concern. "Liebling, are you happy to see me? Is that it? I hope I didn't surprise you too much. I'm so very sorry, I've just been so busy lately and I-"

"Let go of me," I hissed, shrugging away from him. "You have no right to say such things to me. Not after how long you've made me wait. You can't possibly just act like nothing's happened between us! How has Europe been treating you? It must be just dazzling, seeing as how you never bother to tell me how you're doing lately. Has your 'darling' gotten too boring for you? Is she not worth five minutes of your time? Damn it, Roderich, how dare you. How dare you come in here and rip out my heart as if it meant nothing to you."

Stunned, Roderich's lips parted open. "I don't understand," he stated, evidently hurt by my rejection. "Elizabeta, where is this all coming from? Is that what you think of me? You've never been boring, perhaps a bit too eccentric at times but never boring. You're not just worth my time, you're worth the world to me. Please, tell me what's wrong. Tell me so I can make things right between us."

I sniffled, letting Roderich cup one hand over my cheek. "You scared me, Roderich," I admitted sullenly. "I was scared you moved on. You've hardly spoken to me these past few months. Didn't you ever think how that'd make me feel? You have a bright new life in Europe, and here I am, left behind, wondering if you're even thinking about me. Was one phone call really too much to ask for?"

"No, of course not," Roderich said, moving his hand to the back of my head; I let it fall against his chest as he brought me into a hug. I knew him well enough to know he was being honest with me.

"I've never stopped thinking about you. These past three years have only been about you and I, together. You've always been my muse, Elizabeta. I thought you knew that already. What happened between us was a mere miscommunication of intentions. My tour manager limits the time I spend on my phone. There's nothing I can do about that, and I apologize that you misinterpreted this as me not wanting to speak with you. There were many times I argued with my him, but he wanted me to be for the most part, distraction free. I can't help it that your beauty poses a major distraction to me. Especially now, darling. You look absolutely stunning tonight."

Roderich patted my back when I hiccupped. "Silly girl," he chided. "I'm so sorry you felt this way. Now that I think of it, I really did come off as horrible, didn't I? Oh, shhh. Shhh. That's better now."

"You could have snuck a phone call," I grumbled into his chest, taking in his familiar sweet scent. "I missed you and your grumpiness."

Roderich tucked his chin over my head, gently swaying me from side to side. "You know how terrible I am at being sneaky. Shall I remind you of how awful our last spy mission together went? And yes, yes, I've missed you horribly too. The concert administrators constantly complain about how sullen I've been acting behind the scenes. It must be because I didn't have your smile to brighten my day."

Roderich always knew the right things to say to me.

"Why are you here anyways?" I asked, looking up to nuzzle my nose against his jawline. "You said you weren't coming back until January. Not that I'm complaining! I mean, I just…crap. You have this bad habit of making me speechless," I admitted sheepishly. "I'm just really happy you're here."

"As am I," Roderich smirked knowingly. "I wanted to surprise you while you hosted that, ahem, party of yours," he crinkled his nose in distaste, the snob. "Unfortunately, it looks like I've greatly upset you. Tell you what. Close your eyes, and I'll show you the real reason I came here to surprise you," he suggested. "Hopefully it will make up for how inattentively I've been treating you."

I raised a wry eyebrow at him in question. "Roddy," I mused. "What are you up to?"

"Hush, just close your eyes."

I did as Roderich said. I felt him grab my right hand, pressing a light kiss to the back of it.

I giggled.

"You can open them now."

My eyes fluttered open. I was so shocked by what lay before me that I almost closed them again. Roderich was kneeling on one knee, a velvet case holding a diamond ring in his right hand.

"R-Roderich," I stuttered. "I…"

Roderich smiled at me faintly, squeezing my hand before clearing his throat. "Elizabeta Héderváry, never in my life have I met a woman as caring and wonderful as you. I would say you make me speechless, but you already said that, and an artist must never plagiarize, even if it was a phrase wisely articulated by a loved one very dear to my heart.

"Instead, I'll say that you inspire me. You inspire me to take risks in life. Asking you to be mine was the greatest risk I ever took, and I don't think we'd be here today if you didn't get frustrated half way through and decide to ask me out yourself. Now, it's my turn to do the asking.

"You're brave. You're kind. You're fearless. You're everything I aspire to be one day. If only you knew how much influence you have on my music. Nothing that I write is written without thinking about you…without thinking about all the precious moments I've had the honour of spending with you.

"I promise to cherish you for the rest of my life. To treat you well. To shower you with enough attention to make you sick. I've learned now just how much I mean to you, and it breaks my heart to know that you were uncertain if I felt the same way. I do feel the same way; I always have and always will. I'm willing to dedicate my whole life to proving this to you.

"With that said, Elizabeta Héderváry, will you marry me?"

"Yes," I whispered, my eyes widening as the realization of what was happening fully sunk in. "YES! YES! OH, GOD YES!"

Roderich gasped and spluttered when I picked him up by the waist and twirled him around. "Usually, it's the man who's supposed to do this," he blushed, thoroughly embarrassed but still nonetheless very happy and relieved.

"Oh fine," I relented, setting Roderich on his feet.

Roderich laughed, taking the opportunity to sweep me off my feet this time. "Ah, equality at last," he mused, eventually bringing me down into a hug.

We kissed passionately, messily, hungrily. It was everything I could ask for and more.

But then something dawned on me.

I pulled away, grabbing Roderich firmly by the chin. "Wait!" I huffed with a playful growl. "I still have a few conditions to run by you."

"Yes, dear?" Roderich groaned.

"I want you to call me at least once a day, no excuses."

"Agreed."

"I want you to watch anime with me when I ask you to."

"…Agreed."

"Lastly, when we're not in public, I want free reign over your butt. And no, don't you dare give me that sour look. It's corrupting your handsomeness."

"I don't suppose you'd react well if I said that I wanted free reign over your breasts?"

Roderich facepalmed upon seeing my perverted expression. "Dear God, woman. You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

I cackled evilly, answering his question.

I buried my head in Roderich's chest, sighing in content when he unclipped my hair from its bun and let it fall over my shoulders. "That's better," he murmured, raking his hands through it. "Your hair's gotten longer since the last time I saw you. It's beautiful; you're beautiful."

A pounding against the window near my terrace caused us both to jump apart from each other, interrupting our heartfelt moment.

I turned around, looking directly across the street where Mei's apartment was. There I was met with at least a dozen extra pair of eyes. My employees were jumping up and down, pounding their fists against Mei's apartment window in excitement.

Feliks was even wild enough to go onto Mei's balcony and drunkenly wave a pink gymnastic ribbon back and forth. Toris was quick to drag Feliks inside after the latter had almost toppled to the ground; it was like a hawk swiping at a helpless, clumsy kitten.

I laughed, giving Roderich an incredulous look. "Did they know about this?" I asked him.

"I told Mei and Kiku, but I didn't expect them to spy on us," Roderich huffed and puffed, sternly crossing his arms. "This was supposed to be a secret. I wanted to surprise you."

"Well, you sure did surprise me," I snickered. "I wasn't expecting you to be here. This is just the cherry on top of the cake."

My window thumped again.

CHEEP! CHEEP!

I walked forward, furrowing my brows in confusion when I saw Gilbird flying outside my balcony.

I opened my living room window, holding out a hand for Gilbird to perch himself on. Sadly, I was used to this type of communication by now. The canary cheeped and shivered while I untied the note clasped around his foot. I immediately recognized Gilbert's messy hand writing:

It's about fucking time, Roddy! You're such a sissy!

Liza! Quick! It's not too late!

Remember how we shared our first kiss, and then I came out to you as gay?

There's still time for you to come out as a man, because deep down, we all know that you're the one wearing the pants in this relationship. Kesesese.

Oh well. Enjoy your lesbian relationship then.

Yours truly,

The future Godfather of your children

-Gilbert

Roderich spared me a worried look when I slammed open the patio door and walked out onto the balcony. "Elizabeta, darling? You're going to catch a cold! And you're not even wearing shoes. What are you-?!"

Gilbird, sensing my rage, flew over to Mei's apartment so fast that he was merely a blurred, yellow blob in the sky.

*Terrified screeches and cheeps*

Translation: Gilbert, you fucked up man. Retreat! Retreat! You made her angry! Oh mother cheeper, you made her really, really angry!

"GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT! HOW DARE YOU MOCK MY ENGAGEMENT! NO! HOW DARE YOU MAKE FUN OF MY BOOTHANG! YOU GET YOUR SORRY ASS DOWNSTAIRS SO I CAN KICK IT PROPERLY."

With that said and done, I stormed back into my apartment, heading off towards the front door.

"What in Gott's name are you doing?" Rodereich asked me, horrified by the wild look in my eyes.

Happy place! Happy place! Roderich is my happy place~! Ahahahaha!

"Defending your honour!"

…

SLAM!

Roderich winced as he watched Elizabeta slam a long unconscious Gilbert on the snow-covered asphalt. He strongly disliked the buffoon, but even Gilbert didn't deserve a punishment so harsh and brutal.

Everyone had gathered to the streets to witness this potential murder.

"Oi! Liza! I think he's had enough!" Lovino protested.

"She needs to teach me how to do that," Ludwig muttered, shielding a sobbing Feliciano's eyes with a massive hand.

"Yikes, that's a lot of blood," Alfred winced.

Matthew facepalmed. "Why do I even bother? He did this all to himself."

"You stupid, cocky fuckboy! I will wreck you, and everything you stand for. Remember this the next time you dare to disgrace my hubby's dignity."

SLAM!

CRACK!

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh," every single murder witness cringed.

Gilbert moaned. "I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory…"

"Great, now he's delirious," Matthew deadpanned, clawing at his hair.

A small smile crept onto Roderich's face as Elizabeta released Gilbert's semi-unconscious form, letting it thud to the ground.

That's my girl.

No.

That's my fiancée, he thought to himself contently, wondering why he had ever been blessed with such a crazy, amazing woman.

To be continued...