My Monday wasn't that bad, so I decided to write! An update in two days, that must be a record for me... at least, for the last couple months it is. I know I am blessed to have a not-sucky Monday, so I hope you all had a not-sucky Monday too! And if you did, hopefully this cheers you up!

Disclaimer: Once again, I do not own Twilight. If I did, Bella would have a personality, Edward would have a spine, and the werewolves would all have jetpacks. Also, I do not own the poem at the end of the chapter. I found it on PoemHunter . com, and I added what I thought were a few improvements.

Lydia's POV

I felt like absolute shit.

Awareness came back to me slowly, as if it could take its dear sweet freaking time. I knew I needed to wake up, but for what, I couldn't remember.

Something happened… something bad… that was why I felt awful, both physically and emotionally. It started at the party. People… no… a fire… a fire had started. I had to pull Lindsey out, then go back and get Audrey. Audrey was hurt, badly… but that boy said Audrey was okay.

That boy looked so worried about me. Like a genuinely good person would. He also looked like he was in his mid-twenties and on steroids, so I needed to push away that crush before it started. Damn, that guy was hot…

But Audrey was still hurt, and I wasn't going to find out how bad it was by just laying here. It was a herculean effort, but I opened my eyes.

At first everything was just a blurry mix of white and beige. Slowly (everything seemed to be going at a snail's pace), a hospital room came into focus. The only source of color – and the only thing that looked like it wasn't here on a regular basis – was a pretty brunette girl with a sky blue zip-up sweatshirt wrapped around her shoulders.

Her eyes lit up and she smiled when she saw me.

"You're finally awake!" she exclaimed quietly.

"What the hell happened? Where's Audrey?" I asked none-too-politely. I had almost burned to death. I'm allowed to be a bit of a bitch.

My voice rasped like an old smoker's, and my left arm was bound from my wrist to the top of my shoulder in thick bandages. I tried to push it from my mind.

"You passed out from smoke inhalation. Audrey is in surgery right now. She's going to be alright, but her face… it was badly burned. They're doing skin grafts now," the pretty girl said.

I nodded, unable to say anything to that. Audrey had been so beautiful… did she even know how to live without her good looks? She had always relied on them to get her way through life, but now…

Shaking that thought off, I looked closer at my bedside companion. Her milk chocolate brown hair was in a braid that fell almost to her waist, but it had a strong, healthy shine to it. She had a lovely face, complemented by large, expressive light brown eyes, a pretty nose, and lovely pink lips. Even though she was sitting down, it was obvious she was tall – at least, taller than me. She had long legs sheathed in simple jeans, and a cute hourglass figure.

Unlike Audrey, it was obvious this girl didn't obsess over how she looked. She had a natural beauty that simply could not be duplicated by make-up and clothes. I envied that effortlessness.

"Do you need anything? Water would be good; Car- I mean, Dr. Cullen said you would be really dehydrated," she said.

There was an innate sweetness about her that made me want to put her at ease, and tell her that I was perfectly fine and she didn't need to worry about me. But the thought of ice cold water sounded too good to pass up.

"Water sounds good," I tried to say nonchalantly, but I think I failed.

She hopped up, went to the door, peeked through and said, "She needs some water. The colder, the better."

Someone just outside the door scrambled to their feet and ran.

"You have cronies?" I asked.

She smiled. "More like stooges. Do you need – or want – anything else?"

"Well, I want to be able to breathe normally, and to stop feeling like shit, but I doubt you can help me with that," I said humorously. My lungs and my throat still burned, but I was starting to get used to it. Also, she made it easy to deal with.

"Not really. But Dr. Cullen will be in soon now that you're awake, and if anyone can help, he can," she said confidently.

"What's your name?" I asked. I was positive I had never seen this pretty girl at the high school. Maybe she was homeschooled? But I would have heard about her somehow… this wasn't a big town, and she was too young to have already graduated.

"Oh, I'm Katie Carter. It's nice to meet you," she said with a kind smile.

I resisted the urge to let my jaw drop to the floor. This was Katie Carter when she wasn't hiding behind a binder in her too-huge clothes? How did I miss this? How could she be this freaking beautiful?

"I think I've seen you around school before," I said cautiously. I didn't want to tell her I had called her a slut just that day. Or was it yesterday at this point? Might as well ask. "What time is it?"

"About five pm," Katie said, pointing to a clock on the wall. "You've been out for more than twelve hours."

"Damn…" I muttered. "Is everyone else alright?"

"Yeah. You were the second worst-off," Katie said. Of course, we both knew who was first. This was the one contest I was glad that I had come in second to Audrey.

There was a gentle knock at the door. Katie cracked it open just wide enough to take a medium glass full of water from a big hand with russet skin… and the water had ice in it. I almost wept with joy.

"Thanks, Brady," she said to my now-favorite person in the world. She handed me the glass carefully. "If the weight is too much, just let me know and I'll help."

I took the glass carefully with my right hand, eager to not spill a drop, and drank deeply. I never thought drinking would feel so good. If I were a super-religious person, I would call it a divine experience with God himself.

"Seriously," I asked as soon as I took a breath, "did God bless this water himself or something?"

Katie chuckled. "I don't think so. But anything is possible, I suppose."

"By the way, who's outside the door waiting for your every order?" I asked.

"Oh, Seth, Collin, and Brady. Brady is the one who caught you when you… jumped," Katie said.

"That guy was pretty hot," I muttered under my breath before resuming a normal tone. "So what are you doing here?"

"My father is a deputy at the police station. When we heard about the fire, I went with him to see if I could help. On a Friday night, the hospital was a little shorthanded trying to deal with everyone, so I offered the nurses to stay with you until you woke up and Dr. Cullen could see you," Katie said.

"That was… really nice of you," I said, stunned. She got out of bed in the wee hours of the morning, probably stayed up all night, just to help someone she didn't know – and someone who insulted her on a regular basis. If she knew that, she would've left instantly.

"I just hated the thought of you waking up alone," Katie said shyly. Ugh, she was the cutest thing ever! I would never be able to make fun of her again.

"You have no idea how much I appreciate it," I said sincerely.

There was a knock at the door, and one of the La Push pack entered. I couldn't remember which one in particular this one was, but Katie seemed to know him. And was glaring at him reprovingly.

"Didn't I tell you to stay out?" she said fiercely. Where was this attitude when the popular girls gave her hell?

"You did," the boy said with an adoring smile. He was obviously head-over-heels in love with her. "But you also need to eat."

He held out a fast food bag unabashedly. Katie looked from the bag, to the boy's face, and back at the bag until he started to sweat.

Eventually, Katie snatched the bag.

"Thank you, baby," he said with a huge smile.

Katie tried to glare, but her smile was cracking through. "Go away."

"Love you, too!" he said, kissed her cheek, and whipped out the door before Katie or I could blink.

"So, how long have you two been going out?" I asked slyly. Katie's answering blush said I was right – at least, the two of them were an item.

"About five months now," Katie said shyly.

Another knock at the door, and the shy Katie disappeared, replaced by the fierce, insistent one from a minute ago.

"It's just me," the gorgeous blonde doctor said, his hands held up in surrender. He turned to me and he smiled like a freaking angel. This had to be the legendary Dr. Cullen. "How are you feeling, Ms. Callahan?"

"I've been better," I said with a pathetic smile.

"You should go home now, Katie, you've been up all night. You can come back once both of you have had some rest," Dr. Cullen said.

"Alright. I'll see you soon, Lydia," Katie said, and with a small wave and pretty smile, she was gone.

"Now, let's see what we have to work with," Dr. Cullen said, and he carefully started to remove my bandages. It hurt like crazy, but I would live.

"It looks like skin grafts won't be necessary," he mused, "but a session of debridement won't hurt… and there will be noticeable scarring…"

I flinched. Not at the doctor's cool touch, but at his words – I would be scarred by this accident. Possibly for life.

"For how long?" I asked, trying to keep my voice from breaking.

"Probably the rest of your life," he said sadly.

For life. I would carry the physical reminder of my mistake for the rest of my life. It wasn't fair. Things like this weren't supposed to happen to me. Things like this didn't happen in small towns with no people… I didn't deserve this.

"Your fellow party mates won't have any permanent damage," Dr. Cullen continued. Of course they wouldn't. I was the one who did the right thing and went in to save Audrey – and I would be punished for it for the rest of my life. "Except for your friend, Audrey. The scars on her face and chest will be severe, and also for life."

My heart instantly ached for Audrey. But then I remembered her tangled with Ethan on the office floor, and my sympathy lessened. I knew I was a terrible person for that, but at the moment, I couldn't bring myself to care.

"We're going to keep you here for a few more days to make sure the healing starts correctly," Dr. Cullen said. "Your mother will be here in a few minutes."

With that, he left. I think he sensed my need to cry alone for a few minutes before my mother came in.

So I cried for my scars. And I cried for all that wouldn't be because of them.

I was in the hospital for four days before they would let me go home. It would have been a normal Tuesday night if my left arm wasn't covered in bandages. Thursday, I was going back to school. As far as I was concerned, Thursday should never happen.

My mother had left her constant computer-side vigil to focus all of her attention on me. For some reason, she blamed herself and her lack of attention.

I blamed my stupidity for going to save Audrey.

I had visited her before I left. Even with the skin grafts and debridement, her face and chest still looked awful. As soon as she saw my face, she started screaming at me. Apparently, she thought it was my fault she looked the way she did.

I should have let her die.

I felt guilty for thinking that, but it was what was on my mind. She was an ungrateful, evil, manipulative person who was trying to blame her injuries on the person who saved her. She didn't know how to live without her beauty getting her everything she wanted.

Besides, I now had an idea of what true beauty was. Katie was kind, sweet, and caring. She visited me every day I was in the hospital. Her boyfriend, Seth, would wait patiently for her in the waiting room, sometimes for hours. He never complained, and whenever I saw them together, there was no doubt in my mind that the two had been made for each other. They were so in love, it made my heart ache. I mean, what guy would want a disfigured girl like me? Ethan certainly wouldn't.

Before bed, I had to take a handful of pills. I had to take them in the morning, too. Some were antibiotics, so the wound wouldn't get infected. Others were pain meds to dull the constant ache and smother the flares of pain. Another was a multi-vitamin that was so huge I could barely swallow it. Apparently, I would need all the nutrients I could get.

I also had to spread a cream on my burns to help stop infection, and re-dress them in silver-based bandages (no one would tell me what 'silver-based' meant).

I slept terribly that night. Every hour, Amanda would turn her music up to full blast, and Mom would bang on her door and yell at her until she turned it down. This happened until four am.

Amanda left for school before I got up. Thank god, because if I saw her, I would gladly strangle her until her eyes popped out and her face turned blue.

Wow, this accident has really made me morbid…

"Good morning, Lydia!" My mother swept into the kitchen, kissing me on the cheek. "What would you like for breakfast this morning? Eggs would be good for protein, to get my little girl's strength back up!"

"Eggs sound good," I mumbled to the table. If she kept this up, it would be unbearable.

She set about her work by the gas stove. The crackling sound of the burner lighting made me jump. I stole a quick glance around the room, ensuring there were no flames other than the ones on the stove.

I started to sweat. I needed to leave the room before the fire started raging again. But I couldn't just leave my mother here, alone, being swallowed by the fire…

I mentally shook myself. The stove wasn't going to start a fire. It never had in all my seventeen years. My mother had cooked at that stove every day of my life, and it never started a fire. I would be fine.

At least, that's what I kept telling myself.

I continued to have a silent panic attack until she finally turned the burner off. I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Sweetheart, are you alright? You look so pale! I should take you back to the hospital…" my mother worried over me. I shook her off.

"I'm fine, Mom. Just tired. I think I'll go back to bed after eating," I said.

She frowned. "If you're sure… but if you're still pale after lunch, I'm taking you straight back to the doctor's office."

Her tone left no room for debate. I ate silently, barely able to swallow, but forcing it down to appease my mother. After the last bite was finally gone, I disappeared to my room.

I pulled out the notebook no one knew about – the one that held my poems. I hid them because they were absolutely terrible, and they were a direct line to my emotions of the moment. I mean, Audrey and everyone else would have a field day if they ever found out I was an emo poet.

The image of the flames coming to claim me made me shiver. And I surrendered to the emotions of the moment, and wrote.

They made the fire, so they want it to spread,
The fire, the fire, the fire.
They fan the flame to the forest bed,
and the flames grew
Higher, and higher, and higher.

Remember what the captain said,
By the ocean-side,
Where we took our ride,
"We want no more soldiers to die,
So come see us by the fire",
Prometheus desired, the fire,
As the flames grow higher.

We lay upon our riverbed, upon the Styx,
The filthy Styx upon the pyre,
Eyes wide, quartered dry, heads to the sky,
And they watch the flames grow higher, and higher,
With fire, the fire, the fire.

I felt better, as I usually did after writing. And, as always, I wasn't entirely sure what the poem was about. If someone were to ask me, "What does it mean? What is it talking about?" I would ask them, "Why does it matter?" Poetry is nothing but pretty words strung together prettily until emotion and imagination make it into something great.

At least, that's how I saw it.

With that, I put the notebook away and snuggled into my warm bed.

So, I'm still not sure what that poem is about, but I loved it, and it seemed like something Lydia would write, so I decided to use it. Again, it is not mine. Also, I looked at burn symptoms and medicinal strategies on some university website, to make Lydia's experience a bit more authentic.

Questions! First: Katie made her real debut in this chapter! Do you all still love her as much as you did during Love Like Crazy? 'Cause I know I do. Second: Lydia has shown just how bitter she is in this chapter, and it's only going to get worse. Do you guys think it's too much? Or not enough, considering all she's been through? Third: What do you think of Lydia's (aka some person's from PoemHunter) poem? Fourth: Predictions and suggestions on how to make this fic better?

An extra shout-out to ThatOneDiabeticGirl, for her review sharing her personal story to help my fic become as realistic as possible. Hopefully, your life is much better than Lydia's in the next few chapters :)