Fic Recommendations:
Drovenich: They have a lot of apocalyptic, parallel AU, and America war-centric fics. An older author with an excellent and reliable track-record of completing their works.
Love has no Recipe by Sillypandalover91: An ongoing Gerita focused crime/romance fanfiction, what more could you ask for? Although, shipping isn't the main focus. It has plot 😉
A Worthwhile Companion by Arlia'Devi: What?! A person actually shares the idea that Germany keeps Prussia alive as a "pet" and allows his immmortality to rub off on his older brother? (This is also an older author.)
The STEAM Team by Inky-Paws: Huzzah! An active Hetalia author. I've spoken with them a few times, and they're super sweet. They have a serious writing palate for anything to do with angst and intense emotions.
Trigger warnings: Explicit mentions of self-harm.
Wowee, it's been a while hasn't it?! No worries, I haven't lost interest in the fandom. If anything, my interest has grown, I've just switched platforms. For those of you who have tumblr, you'd know that I've become very active on there (I post daily content), which explains my lacking presence here. It's hard to juggle both :P But, if you like fan theories, you can find me there under the same name!
Either way, I do intend to be finished with this story by the end of spring. I want to start new ones, damn it! Since Uni + job applications has me pressed for time, I will no longer be able to read the stories until I'm done. But, I'll still be accepting and posting recommendations made by you guys, both here and on my blog. Self recommendations are always welcomed too.
That said, enjoy this massive chapter. I'll make the remaining two chapters extra long too 😉 Also, I'm sorry if there's a few grammar mistakes that my eyes were too tired to pick up on. My lovely Beta reader is busy with school.
Thank you for your patience and support, and have a great day/night.
-Ella
Lovino's POV:
What was once a bright, vibrant and conversational space, had now become a gloomy and restricting prison. We all dreaded coming back to the café in the fear that something horrible would happen, again. After the incident with Alfred and Matthew, the café had shortened its hours and had tightened up security. There were bag-checks at the front doors, and Ludwig always had the dogs close by just in case they sniffed out something suspicious.
The only thing that gave us hope was the fact that our customers still showed up, in larger numbers than before, to enforce the solidarity we all so desperately needed. Campus security was still refusing to do anything about the incidents, so on top of filing insurance claims, Liza was also busy preparing to make a formal complaint to the Dean. Those haughty bastards only acted on the things that threatened to tarnish their reputation.
Arthur and I had even taken the liberty to write an editorial to the school newspaper…we needed as many allies as we could get. This was especially true since the vandalism had opened the floodgates for hate. These incidents had revealed the Achilles heel of the café. Only one incident was enough to give the motivation and courage to cowardly, bigoted individuals to speak out and voice their discriminatory opinions.
Thankfully, the majority of students were taking this matter seriously. Bella and Vlad's businesses helped chip in for the costs of installing a better security system, and the Student Foot Patrol Association volunteered to walk everyone who left the café at night, including us employees.
The café was a prison, sure, but there was also a notable stirring in the crowds, an appetite for retaliation that simply couldn't be curbed. Antonio and Gilbert in particular were beginning to scare me, as the two were huddled together in a booth, discussing plans of revenge with uncharacteristic scowls on their faces. Gilbert was admittedly the angrier of the two, as he had now taken to wearing gloves with spikes on the knuckles, and like Antonio does with me, he refuses to let Matthew finish a shift and walk home alone.
I'll give the pasty shitstain credit where it was deserved. Gilbert was more shaken up about Matthew's injury (which was actually very minor) than Matthew was. Of course, none of Matthew's reassurances or placating could calm down Gilbert, nor did either of these tactics work with Alfred.
When he was truly angry, Alfred became silent. Silence from him was terrifying because it meant that he was actually taking time to think, something he doesn't do very often, but when he does, he always produces results. Currently, he was sitting with Ivan and Eduard in a booth, pouring over his laptop in an attempt to clear up some security footage.
Ivan was sitting on the other end from the two techies, embodying the awkward and uncomfortable posture of someone who felt excluded from a conversation they didn't have the means to take part in. What I immediately noticed that struck me as odd was that Ivan and Alfred's knees were brushing up against each other underneath the booth. It was a simple, asinine gesture, but as far as I were concerned, they had only recently become close friends that regularly watched movies and studied together. This was something new, and if I didn't have so much shit on my mind, I would have lent more attention to it.
"Ah!" I gave a soft cry when something poked at my knees from behind. Correction, a snout with prickly whiskers and a wet nose prodded at me. I turned around and smiled when Tito began wagging his stubby little tail. His entire butt shook from the movements, and I couldn't help but bend over to scratch his ears.
"Did you try to sneak into the kitchen again?" I scolded. Tito huffed impatiently, prompting me to roll my eyes as I pulled out a treat from my apron. "Well, that answers my question. I have to give you props, you little sneak."
"Here, you go. You must be hungry since the last ten minutes you pined and guilt-tripped me. And ugh! Stop slobbering everywhere! There's a reason we had to put a bar on the doors. It's to keep your greedy ass out. The café's already on the verge of being shut-down, the last thing we need is a health-code violation," I rambled.
Talking to Tito as if he could understand me was oddly therapeutic. Don't ask me why.
"You're getting huge, you know that? Why the fuck is your breed so muscular? I feel like I own a tank, not a pet," I continued to talk nonsense to a very receptive Tito. Geez, he easily must be forty pounds now.
Disinterested now that I didn't have any more food to offer, Tito sniffed my hand, elicited the equivalent of a human scoff, and then trotted off.
"Ungrateful little shit!" I called after him. "Don't come crying to me tonight if you're cold. I'm not lying either! I won't let you under the covers anymore!"
Tito briefly turned around, an uncanny intelligence flickering in his bloodshot eyes. The dog knew how to play me like a fiddle and I let him. As if to say "yeah right!", Tito snorted and stuck up his butt as he continued to trot away.
"We'll see about that attitude once you're put up for adoption again," I muttered to myself as I stood up and brushed off the hair from my apron and pants. Despite being short-haired, Tito still shed a significant amount.
Smirking to reclaim my stomped-on pride, I leaned against my residual spot at the front counter, keenly watching in amusement as Tito tried to pawn off food from people in exchange for his temporary affection. This joyful little distraction came to an abrupt end at the sound of dishes clattering against the ground.
Feliciano gave a sharp yelp and frighteningly backed away as the stack of plates he had dropped shattered and scattered in all directions. His face reddened in embarrassment and he refused to look anyone in the eyes as he apologized softly in a mumble.
"I'll go get the broom," Feliciano said dejectedly, and then slumped his shoulders. This wasn't the first time he had broken dishes today. I looked at Feliciano, imploring him to return my concerned gaze, but there was no getting through to him when he was like this.
The entire café grew silent with pity, knowing that Feliciano wasn't typically one to make mistakes in this business. In fact, he hardly ever did, but the stress of what's been going on lately must have really gotten to him.
It's not like I could do anything either. I've tried talking to him at home, but we've never really been all that close, you know? I wasn't the first person he went to when he was feeling down.
Ludwig was. Unfortunately, that bastard wasn't the most emotionally available person when he was also experiencing stress–or at all for that matter.
The kitchen doors swung open with a slam. It only took Ludwig three seconds to assess the scene before he let out an irritated sigh and immediately began reprimanding Feliciano.
"Feli!" Ludwig scolded, taking great lengths to stifle his anger. It was all pointless. Feliciano was good at reading people's body language, and was very sensitive and perceptive to it. You could be saying one thing, and yet be communicating something entirely different.
"This is the third time you've broken something today! I told you that if you need to go home and rest, then go and do so! It's no help staying here being a fumbling idio-" Ludwig caught himself, but it was already too late.
I opened my mouth to say something, but Feliciano cut me to the chase. He waved his hands exaggeratedly in apology, long fingers fumbling to untie the strings of his cooking apron but to no avail.
"Y-you're right, Luddy. I'm sorry that I've been so useless today. I'll just clean up this mess and then I'll be off." Feliciano attempted to push past Ludwig, only to be stopped when Ludwig lowered his voice and spoke in a gentler tone.
Ludwig swallowed, pondering over his words as if he were crafting a peace treaty. You had to be very careful with Feliciano, being as sensitive and dependent on other people's perceptions of him as he was. "I'm…sorry," he sighed.
It was always a struggle for Ludwig to adequately express himself. If you think he's scary now, you should have seen him when the two had first met at the beginning of last year. Apparently small talk for him meant reading from pre-prepared cue cards. He also hadn't quite shaken his tendency to come off as angry to others. He had a resting constipated face, and always embodied the posture of a guarded drill sergeant.
It was beyond me why Feliciano had ever been attracted to him in the first place.
…
"Lovi! Lovi! That Luddy guy is cute, isn't he?! I'm going to go talk to him!"
"Che! Leave that poor bastard alone! He's not going to get any work done with you blabbing his ear ear off. He probably doesn't want anything to do with you anyway."
"…That's what I thought at first too. But, you see… he always makes sure to leave me a slice of that chocolate cake I like, even when it's not in popular demand. How else would he know that I like it if he wasn't paying attention to me? Maybe…maybe he feels the same way."
"That was a grand fucking leap of a conclusion if I've ever seen one. Okay, so you two both like chocolate cake, but that doesn't mean anything."
"You don't get it, Lovi. He and I, we understand each other. He doesn't have to talk at all for me to get what he means. He's not angry all the time like everyone thinks he is. If anything, he's the sweetest most considerate person I've ever met!"
"[Taken aback]. I don't know what else to say, Feli. If you feel so strongly about him, then take the chance…I guess. I think you could really use a friend here. The last month has been tough, we're both homesick, but unlike you, I don't need to be around others to avoid feeling lonely. I don't know why you always come to me for permission about things like this, but for God's sake, just detach yourself from my hip and go make friends with that constipated oaf! S-see if I care. I won't stop you."
"Lovi…"
"Vamoosh! Go! Seduce and pester that bastard! Just stop pestering me! I'm trying to do my work damn it!"
"Oh Lovi…"
"WHAT?!"
"That mop has no water in it."
"YEAH, SO?! HAVEN'T YOU EVER HEARD OF DRY MOPPING A FLOOR FIRST? IT T-TAKES UP ALL THE DUST!"
"You mean a broom?"
"OH, SO NOW YOU THINK YOU KNOW EVERYTHING, HUH?! W-WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?!"
"It's nothing."
"Well, it's obviously something. Spill, you socializing heathen of a little brother."
"One day, when you find someone who understands you other than me, they'll be laughing at you too. And Lovi?"
"Huh?"
"Thanks. I really think I have a chance with this guy. He gets me. I feel like I can be myself with him without having to put on the act that I do out here. When I smile with him I really mean it."
"I…uh… just be careful, eh? That guy has an explosive temper."
[I hadn't wanted to admit that I had also seen through Ludwig and secretly trusted him too, albeit bitterly. Emphasis on bitterly.]
…
Feliciano's hands tightened into fists as Ludwig bent down to place both hands on his shoulders. He glanced down so that they were eye-to-eye. He swallowed again, eyes darting until he grunted awkwardly and finally mustered the willpower to ignore that they were in a public area.
"I shouldn't have lost my temper like that," Ludwig bashfully apologized. "It was uncalled for."
Feliciano blinked owlishly. "It's okay," he mechanically responded. "I was being an idiot. You don't have to apologize for being honest. Really, it's okay! I'll just go home, sleep, and make some dinner for when you get back. I'll be more useful there anyways."
Hurt flashed across Ludwig's face, but it wasn't directed at himself. "You're being too hard on yourself, s-schatz," he stammered. "It's not your fault that you're affected by these things. You feel more deeply than most people. It's something I've always admired in you. I'm not mad at you. You're not useless. You're more resilient than anyone else I know. I wish I had your patience in not getting angered so easily," he rambled, taking great care to endue more emotion in what he was saying despite how choppy and methodically structured it was.
"Maybe…maybe you can just help taking orders for now if you're still feeling shaky. You haven't had anything to eat since morning, have you? How about, uh, you and I take a break together. I think we could both use that, ja?"
Feliciano smiled, genuinely this time. "Wow, commander. You're actually taking a break when you're not on a scheduled vacation? I'm impressed. Sure, I'd love to have that lunch date with you. What's on the menu?"
A minimal wisp of a grin spread onto Ludwig's face as he popped the suggestion. "Chocolate cake?"
I stuck a finger in my mouth and pretended to gag. Feliciano huffed, gave me a side-glare, and then resumed entrancing Ludwig with his "Nala" face.
"Why, sure I'd love to have some of that, grazie!"
"HEY! Are you guys just going to leave this mess here?!" I deadpanned. No answer.
"Fine! I'll clean it, but you two should be grateful! I'm only doing this because I don't want Tito to step on the glass by the way!" I moved to grab the broom, but was stopped when a whirlwind of blond hair came rushing forward.
"Oh mon dieu!" Francis, crossing the café with a rack of black jump suits, whined as he skirted around the broken dish pieces. He then peered up to criticize the nearest employee, which just so happened to be me.
"Aren't you going to clean this?" Francis demanded. "What would have happened if I had stepped on that and cut my foot? Non! I'll tell you what! I would have quit being the fashion designer for this place, and you could all be wearing fruit-de-loom aprons for all I care!"
"You go on strike every second day asking for more pay from Liza, so I really don't think there would be much of a difference if you left," I retorted. "I was just getting to cleaning the mess."
"Hmmph! I'll have my revenge by making your spy outfit extra tight!" Francis threatened with a mischievous smirk on his face.
I dismissively waved my hand at Francis. "Just go already. You're causing a scene. I'll show you fruit de loom, you fruit de douche," I said, and gestured for Francis to move his rack along.
"What's got into you lately?" Francis remarked, dropping all hints of mock grumpiness. Of course, telling him to go away was an invitation for him to pry for more information.
"Nothing, I'm just tired with everything. I can't wait for it all to be over tonight." I really didn't want to talk to Francis of all people about this. Self-proclaimed big brother of the café or not, I could only stand him for so long.
"Ah oui," Francis's expression softened. "Don't we all feel that way. We'll catch that brute, big brother will make sure of it!"
I gagged again, except this time it was real. "Yeah, sure, whatever."
"There, there, everything will work out," Francis sobered. "It's so strange to see you so well-tamed like this!"
I had already tuned out Francis. Regardless, he had no problem maintaining the conversation just by talking to himself.
He attempted to pat my back as I worked on sweeping up nearby pieces of glass, but I was careful to maintain a wide circumference between us.
"Are you even listening to me?" Francis sighed.
My headphones were already in.
"Fine, you anti-social mongrel! I can see where I am not wanted," Francis exclaimed with a damaged, self-important huff.
"Francis! What's taking you so long? I need to inspect those garments!"
"Oui! I'm coming!"
Francis put on an obnoxious whistle, pretending that he wasn't hurt by me ignoring him as he pushed his cart towards the booth he and Arthur were sharing. Arthur had dedicated himself to directing the upcoming espionage mission tonight.
Even through my headphones, I could hear Arthur and Francis arguing about Francis's choice of fabric. The practicality vs fashionable argument was something they always fought about in all avenues of life; what clothes they wore, what furniture they owned, how the food they ate was presented, whether they took a taxi or an uber… you name it.
Arthur immediately erupted into a tangent. "What do you take Liza for, a millionaire? Who gives a damn about the quality of the fabric if it's only to be used once! This needs to be returned, all of it! You self-absorbed tit! Not only have you exceeded our budget, but you've just created a two-month deficit!"
"And so the powerless little caterpillar evolves into a tyrannical butterfly! These clothes will last for years to come! Ah! I don't even know why I ever listen to you! You, who eats microwaved potatoes for dinner and idolizes absurd fictional doctors!"
"Newsflash! You have to listen to me…L-Liza said so! And how dare you insult my–"
The arguing drowned into the background as I absorbed myself in cleaning Feliciano's mess and mopping the floor afterwards. Although, I forgot to put soap in the bucket. Ah, it's not like anyone would notice. Water did the job well enough, right?
Just as I was backing up the mop and bucket in the direction of the supply room, I hit something hard. Cold, steady, and pale bear-like hands stabilized my position before joltingly letting go. Even through the fabric of my shirt, I could still feel the cold permeating from this person's body. It was unnatural.
It was the sight of a long scarf through my peripherals that immediately gave the person away. I froze, unsure as to what to do. I didn't bother to take out my headphones, nor did I make any attempt to rouse myself into turning and facing the person.
"Sorry, little one," Ivan apologized, and skirted around me. "You should really be more careful listening to music like that. I did try to warn you that I was coming from behind."
I turned my head and looked over my shoulder. Ivan smiled, eyes folding into overly kind crescents as he gave me a small wave. "I see that you're busy. Sorry for intruding. I'll be leaving now."
Ivan opened the front door, letting in the moist, earthy March wind brush into the café. It was cold, but there was a promising warmth to it that the Italian in me desperately longed for.
"Take care!" I blurted out. "Come back soon!"
Ivan's smile widened, as if he were surprised that I had said anything to him at all. "Thank you! I will!"
As he walked away outside, Ivan cast a large shadow through the front windows. The sun was just beginning to set, thankfully later than it did in the winter. I couldn't stand it getting dark as early as 4PM and eagerly welcomed the upcoming prospect of longer days.
"That was weird, no?" Antonio flanked at my side. I placed the mop back in its bucket and flicked my bangs out of my face.
"Nah," I shrugged. "Ivan's just like that. A bit weird and scary, but good intentions are still there. He'll always creep the shit out of me, though. I can't really help it with how large he is. So… are you and Gilbert done planning your murder?"
Antonio chuckled. He took hold of the bucket's handle, despite my protests, and I followed him as he wheeled it towards the cleaning closet in the backroom. "We were getting a lot done until Matthew came. They're still bickering over the same thing."
I rolled my eyes. "God, will Gilbert give that pride of his a rest? The cut isn't even that bad."
"Lovi," Antonio's tone became stern. "I agree with Gilbert. Matthew's lucky. He could have been injured a lot more seriously should he have been sitting even just a few inches closer to that window. Who we're dealing with is dangerous. Gilbert, as well as everyone else here, has every right to be concerned."
"I think you're missing the point," I replied. "Gilbert needs to get over himself and listen to what Matthew's saying. He's too reckless, and so are you. You both need someone to hold your impulsive tempers in check."
Antonio scoffed. "I suppose I'll need you and Feli then considering how much of a temper you have," he teased.
"OI!"
Antonio laughed as I playfully whipped his butt with a dish towel.
By the time we came back into the café, the rest of the employees were preparing to close-up early. Liza had come out from plotting in the backroom and had taken the helm at the front counter. That was my spot.
"Chop-chop everyone! We've got a busy night ahead of us," she barked. She presided over the room with a strong, authoritative presence. Just by looking at her, I felt my morale raise tenfold. We were heading into a battle, one that we all knew was in our favor given our numbers.
Roderich was standing beside Liza, long nose buried into a map of the campus. "Where are the surveillance vans going to be located again? I don't want them to be too close. If anyone gets injured, that means spending more money that we simply don't have."
"It's the road over, parallel from here," Liza said patiently, albeit gritting her teeth in irritation. She must have repeated this same spiel to Roderich at least fifty times. "And forget about the money. We have more than enough people helping us out with that. Speaking of which…"
Eduard, Vlad, Boris, and Raivis entered the café, carrying various electronic equipment.
"Is everything working all right?" Liza asked them.
Eduard nodded proudly, eyes gleaming behind his glasses. "Yes, ma'am. The vans and cameras are all set up. We're ready whenever you are, we're just putting the extras back."
"Good," Liza's eyes hardened. She then pressed a hand over the ear with a Bluetooth piece attached to it. "Ludwig, Feliciano? Have you found a good spot for you and the dogs?"
Liza nodded in approval. "Good."
"Alfred?"
Alfred shrugged on his coat, exiting the kitchen. He didn't need Liza to tell him, already knowing what he had to do. "On it. I'll be back with my laptop soon. I'll meet y'all in the vans."
Before Alfred left, he spotted Antonio and I. "There you two are! Here," he handed us our 'spy' uniforms. "We were looking for you." There was a teasing, accusatory look in his eyes, but he was gracious enough to let us off the hook, that arrogant bastard.
Antonio and I sheepishly headed for the backroom, but I stopped and paused in the hallway, wanting to catch up and hear what we had missed. Antonio did the same.
Okay…so maybe I lied a bit and skipped over some things in the narrative. Antonio and I had actually made out for quite some time before coming back from the supply closet. Don't fucking judge me. You've all had more than enough fanservice at this point, and it just didn't seem appropriate to elaborate on. NO, I'M NOT BEING HYPOCRITICAL.
"Francis?"
"Everyone else is changing in the backroom."
"Good."
"All right!" Liza clapped her hands together. "Things are going as planned. And you, mister," she paused to grab Roderich's hand. "You're not leaving my sight. Knowing you, you'd get lost on the walk out of here."
Roderich sighed. "Yes, yes, I know. I'm also not to converse with Gilbert while in the vans."
"Mhmmm. I'm glad you understand. You guys can go at each other's throats once this is all over. I'll even happily join you. But, none of that can happen until we catch this culprit. I'll stay up all night if I have to. I trust my intuition, and my gut's telling me that they're going to strike tonight."
"I always did say that you've had the sight," Vlad remarked. "You were a natural fortune-teller."
"Absolute nonsense," Roderich muttered to himself.
This didn't go unheard by Liza. "Nonsense or not, things will end here tonight. Now, let's get this spy mission on the road. The café has to be empty for some time, otherwise that jackass isn't going to come knocking."
Perhaps this was my own intuition, or I had just gotten really good at reading the crazy levels radiating off Liza, but something told me that she wanted to do some knocking [out] of her own.
…
"Are you guys stationed all right?" Arthur spoke into our earpieces. "Do you see anything yet?"
"No Arthur," I deadpanned. "Nothing's changed in the thirty seconds since you've last asked us that."
Antonio, who was perched on the branch parallel to me, reached out his spare hand for a fist bump. Of course, I went for it. Antonio and Arthur had never really cared for each other.
I pretended to ignore Antonio's "That's my tomatito!" praise.
"Lovino," Liza cut in, her voice cracking slightly from the earpiece. I could just imagine the electricity building in the air around her. The rest of the lot staying in the surveillance vans had been texting back and forth on a group chat, complaining about how tense and snappy she was, Roderich included.
"Arthur's just doing what I asked him to. Now, report in."
I gave a long sigh before peering down. Due to our relatively short heights, Antonio and I were asked to hide-out in the tree just outside the café. We were the first line of defense on the front, Mei and Kiku were sitting out on top of the roof of Bella's bakery, and Ludwig and Feliciano were just around the corner with Tito and the rest of the dogs.
It was a good thing there was a full street between us, because boy, when Liza gave that chirping sigh, you knew there was trouble soon to come. The cheerier she got, the more imminent your death became.
Dryly, I reported that I saw nothing, going over all five senses just to sooth Liza's nerves. Man, I don't know. There's no rationalizing with that crazy bitch, especially when you're an equally crazy irrational bastard like myself. If telling her that the sunset was a calming romantic pink placated her stubbornness, then I'd just have to suck it up and do it.
"No one's going to come for a while, you know," Antonio yawned and stretched his arms. Damn. That spy outfit did a hell of a lot of favours in toning his body. "We still have about half an hour before it gets dark. That's when the person usually attacks, no? Would you guys mind if I took a nap? Lovi will make sure I don't fall, won't you Lovi?"
"I was actually going to ask you if I could take a nap…" I muttered.
"See!" Gilbert spluttered. "I told you it was a mistake to let those lazy bums be our eyes and ears! It should have been Mattie and I out there." He was still sour that Liza had banned him from wearing his spiked gloves.
"Don't humour us, Gilbert. You'd probably break the tree in half with that fat head of yours. It wouldn't be able to bear your stupidity," Roderich sniffed with a sense of finality.
"Would you quit provoking him?!" Liza demanded. Roderich, of course, had a smug nasally rebuttal to that.
A scuffle erupted where I could hear Francis holding back and preventing Gilbert from leaving the van he was stationed in. It was a great call on Liza's part to separate Gilbert and Roderich. Those two had a knack for deriving pleasure from making the other mad, only to play victim when it came time to the chastising.
"What he means to say is that you're too impulsive. You have a personal stake and vendetta in this. Knowing you, you'd charge in and assault the person without thinking. I know it's hard to believe, but we actually care about you, Gilbert, and don't want you getting hurt," Liza said.
"She's right, you know," Matthew added. "Get over yourself. Being frustrated isn't going to help with anything. We'll get our revenge, Gil, you just have to trust us. We've been planning this for how long now? Two weeks? There's no way it's not going to work out. Lovino and Antonio aren't our only eyes and ears either."
Gilbert sighed. "You're right. I'm sorry. I just…can't wait until this is all over."
"Translation: you're a stubborn child who always wants to have control over the situation and can't own up to the fact that he doesn't always get what he wants," Roderich countered.
WHACK!
"Will you shut up!?"
"Mein gott, fine. Don't allow me to finish, why don't you?" Roderich whined. "I was going to say that he cares too much. If you excuse me, I will now play this piano app to express my frustration at being ostracized."
"You did it to yourself, you lunatic," Gilbert chuckled. "But thank you. Anyways, where's Alfred at?"
Eduard cleared his throat. "He left to get a baseball bat from the sports office. Just him, though," he paused, knowing that Gilbert had something to say about this. "It's only for defensive purposes. He knows how to take care of a weapon."
"SO do I!"
"ENOUGH ALREADY!" Pretty much everyone exploded. Gilbert fell silent without much resistance.
Raivis took this moment of silence to speak up. "If this GPS is accurate, Alfred should just be getting back now."
That's yet another unnecessary thing Liza had us do. For the mission, she had Eduard and Alfred bug our phones so that someone knew where we were at all times.
"Correct me if I'm mistaken, but it doesn't look like Alfred is close to us at all. His dot is all the way over….here."
"That dot is the van, Roderich," Liza smirked.
"Oh."
"Still haven't changed, have you, Roddy old boy? I've seen fruit flies with a better sense of direction than you. It's a good thing you and Liza are getting married. She'll keep you in line as you follow after her like a helpless little coward."
It was Matthew's turn to whack Gilbert, using the loose sleeve of his hoodie. Unfortunately, that only led to Gilbert making suggestive comments towards Matthew.
Meanwhile, Roderich turned up the volume of his phone and began to furiously tap his fingers on the touchscreen keyboard, playing Chopin. He didn't seem to care that everyone got irritated with him for this. Roderich was the type of person who would put his phone on speaker in the middle of a quiet study room and not give a single damn.
"It's a wonder why I ever say anything," Roderich snapped, abandoning his ongoing game. "We'll see who has the last laugh when I ban you from drinking alcohol during the wedding."
Gilbert, catching on to the fact that Roderich was attempting to break the ice in his own stubborn way, laughed. "Now that's unheard of. I wasn't even expecting to have that luxury, knowing how stingy you are. Ya know, usually when you go the wedding, you go there to see the beautiful couple."
"Don't you get all mature on me, Gilbert. That's what your brother's for," Roderich said, almost teasingly but not quite there yet.
"And what are Ludwig and I there for? To clean up after both of your messes?"
"Thank you, Elizabeta, I was just about to say that," Ludwig chuckled, yes chuckled. What in the snip-snap-fuckity-fracking-fuck was going on here? "Don't even get me started on what future Christmases are going to be like."
"It'll be so much fun, don't you think?" Feliciano cooed. "A big happy chaotic family~!"
The sound of a car door echoed as Alfred entered Liza's van. "Yo! I'm back…hey why is everyone laughing and smilin'? Is my hair sticking up?"
Laughter.
Alfred shrugged and took up a seat next to Eduard, who handed him a set of headgear. "Ah, whatever. Less work for me. I expected to come back to a warzone, not whatever this is ya freaking sentimental weirdos."
Alfred then began helping Eduard go through a quick rundown of the cameras, as well as checking in with Mei and Kiku. They had the best views of anyone else here.
"Geez Liza, you sure got a tight-knit group of workers," Vlad complimented. He and Boris were staked out in their own café with all the lights turned off. You couldn't pay me enough to spend time in that creepy place [again] with the lights on.
Before Liza could retaliate that Vlad was insinuating something, he finished. "I mean, I wouldn't expect anything less from you. Sorry, I know you guys were having a moment, I just wanted to join in."
"Is anyone even paying attention to the mission anymore?" Boris said.
"Oh hush, Bor, you bore."
"Unoriginal as always."
"MOVING ON," Vlad swiftly changed the subject. "There doesn't seem to be much people in the area anymore."
"I can confirm," I added, uselessly.
"I guess we just wait now," Liza replied. "Is anyone hungry? I brought snacks."
"Actually, I, uh, ordered a pizza for the occasion," Alfred said sheepishly.
"Of course you did," Matthew deadpanned. "Did you order enough for everybody?"
"Of course I did!" Alfred mocked Matthew. "What was I? Raised by animals? I may eat like one, but I'm not a complete prick."
"So he's self-aware, after all," Arthur half-said, half-sung in a tutting, patronizing manner.
Either Alfred didn't hear Arthur or he completely discounted him. Sometimes he deliberately ignored the latter when he had stuff to do and couldn't be bothered. "I even ordered from that place Toris works at for his second job, so he'll be getting the tip. There'll be plenty of leftovers for those not here."
Arthur seemed a bit put off by going unacknowledged and began to overcompensate by snapping orders at, you guessed it, Antonio and I. None of Francis's comforting could sooth his massive ego.
Unsurprisingly, Antonio had scuttled onto my branch and had his arms wrapped around me. We were sitting fairly low in the tree, obscured from view by the leaves. A person hadn't walked by for the last twenty minutes.
Normally, the restaurant strip would be open by now, but the campus' security had put a curfew on how late businesses could run for. They wanted to avoid a lawsuit, so don't think this minimal measure was taken in our best interest. It was the only thing they had done for us. If they knew what we were doing right now, it would have been called off immediately.
"Alfred, who are you texting?" Matthew asked.
"No one," Alfred answered, suspiciously, and then loudly clapped his hands. "It doesn't matter anyway, 'cause they're not answering."
"How yummy. He's pining," Liza swooned. "You better give us all the deets when we're done with this, Al, no excuses."
"Aha," Alfred laughed nervously. "There isn't really much to say. It's all one-sided…"
"What's with the self-deprecation all of a sudden? Only I'm allowed to criticize you," Arthur spoke softly, still too stubborn to be honest with how much he actually cared about his younger cousin.
Alfred elicited a pity laugh in response to Arthur's joke. "Nah, I'm a bit stressed. Don't worry about it, dude. It'll pass. I don't even know what I'm saying half of the time anyway…"
Suddenly taking pity on Alfred, I decided to help him out a little by diverting the spotlight. I removed my head from Antonio's collarbone and placed my face right before his, eyes gleaming.
"Lovi…?"
Poor sucker didn't stand a chance. "Shut up," I snapped. "My lips are cold and I'm bored. Do something."
Antonio took the hint and teasingly rubbed his nose against mine before going in for the full kiss.
"You two are so not making out right now!" Gilbert whined. Silence. "Gross guys! We can all hear you, you know!"
"Uhhh! Antonio!" I exaggerated a moan. "There! Yes! Yes!"
Obviously, people don't make these sounds when you make out.
"Listen you cocky pricks, if you don't do your job I'll–"
"Bruder, enough," Ludwig chastised. "They're just doing it to bug you. They want you to react like this."
Gilbert was actually quite a hardass when he took something seriously. Che, serves him right for the remaining 90% of the time that his obnoxious ass "graces our presence."
"Damn right we do~! Oh~!" If you would have shown my present self to the me from the beginning of the year he wouldn't believe how comfortable I've grown… with this handsome goon of a boyfriend.
I felt like I was finally able to share my weird sense of humour with others, void from the fear of being rejected for it. We were all a group of freaks when it came down to it.
"You fools! You're going to make Liza pass out," Roderich fretted.
"I'm steady as a rock, boys. Please, do carry on," Liza sang, yes sang. "Kiku and Mei have things under control. I could use some entertainment."
Kiku cleared his throat, speaking up for the first time. "I'm afraid we're going to have to put off that entertainment for the time being. It looks like someone's coming from where we are."
Instantly, I climbed off Antonio and turned to look up at Mei and Kiku's spot on the roof of Bella's café. Just as I met their gaze, they ducked so that only their heads were visible.
"Ah man! My pizza didn't come yet!" Alfred simpered. This went ignored by everyone else.
"Shit," I cursed. "I see them too. They're coming in from the dorms, just like Ludwig suspected."
The figure was still too far away to find any identifying details.
"Lovi, up you go." Antonio offered me a hand as we climbed onto a higher branch. We would have been in view should we have stayed where we were.
"Ludwig, do you have the dogs ready?" Liza asked.
"Yes, Feli and I are waiting. Lovino, Antonio. You're the ones closest to the potential culprit. We're here for you the minute anything goes wrong. Be safe and don't take any risks."
I sighed. Now wasn't the time for arguing. "Got it."
"I have a bat just in case too," Alfred added. "Ready to pop that knucklehead's head off, if ya know what I mean."
"No one wants to know what you mean, Al," Matthew groaned. "At least I sure don't."
With baited breaths, we watched as the hooded figure approached. Except, it became clear that the person wasn't hooded when they came into closer view. Instead, they wore a ski mask over their face. They were broad in stature, wore heavy boots that crunched against the gravel, and most noticeable of all was the large trench coat that they wore.
It was hard to make out the colors, as the area was pitch-black for the most part. Antonio and I didn't bother to pull out our phones in fear. Mei and Kiku had also turned off the flashers that had previously alerted us of their presence.
Only the persons in the van were able to speak.
"This is our guy," Alfred concluded through gritted teeth. "Only a psycho would wear a ski mask in March."
"Or how about any other day of the year?" Arthur grumbled. "That's odd. They keep turning their face away from the cameras…"
"You're right," Eduard said. "It's like they know where they're stationed. Here, I'll try to zoom in a little."
"W-what if they have a weapon of their own?" Raivis said.
"Don't worry, little guy," Alfred reassured Raivis. He had taken on the brotherly role given that Raivis was only sixteen years old. Lord help the Latvian should Alfred ever become his role model. "You don't have to leave the van if you don't want to. If you do, I have your back."
"Doesn't look like anyone I know," Liza whispered. "They're huge, aren't they?"
"Thanks, that makes me feel so much better," I snapped.
The potential culprit paused three stores down, likely having heard my outburst. Antonio yelped and clasped a hand over my mouth. I had no protests to that. Jesus fuck, did it get colder outside or was it just me?
"That person is well over six feet," Vlad informed us. "Seems to be a guy. I haven't seen a lady with shoulders as broad as that. Well, maybe Liza back when she used to be on the swim team, but that's another story…"
"Do you want me to use you as bait?" Liza threatened Vlad.
"No?"
"Then I suggest you shut up before I make you sever your tongue with your own fangs."
"The dogs are acting up," Ludwig spoke firmly. "They're sensing that something isn't right too. We're heading over."
"Wait!" I whispered as lowly as I could. "They just stopped in front of the café."
Slowly, Antonio and I peered around the tree trunk. The stranger's back was facing us as they looked through the front window of the café, still and calmly in place. They then looked over at the right-most (broken) window, where wood had been boarded up to fill the space where the panes had used to be.
"What should we do?" Antonio turned to me in question. He paused when the stranger heavily dropped to their knees and let out a guttural cry. I had no answer for him, too confused myself.
"What in the world…?" Kiku muttered.
The stranger rubbed at their eyes through their ski mask, roughly scuffing at it with their palms. It really did look like they were crying. I had to crane my neck, as they had done a good job at muffling these sounds.
"I think they're crying," Liza remarked in a tone mixed with sympathy, fear, and confusion. "Oh dear. This doesn't look good at all."
"Fuck it, I'm going in." I scooted away from Antonio. "Someone has to do something."
"Lovi! No!" Antonio hissed, wildly motioning for me to come back.
"Absolutely not!" Roderich barked at me, agreeing with Antonio. "We're calling the cops this instant."
Too late, I had already hopped down onto the ground. "Relax, I can run away if I need to. I won't get too close," I said in a low voice.
THUMP!
Antonio had already followed suit, that bastard.
We hadn't even gotten within five meters of the person before they noticed us. They didn't bother to turn around as they spoke. "I came…to turn myself in. Please, just don't come any closer for now. I need some time to think to myself before I'm ready to tell you everything."
Well shit. I sure as hell hadn't been expecting that.
"Okay…" I sucked in a breath. My stomach dropped, and I felt a sense of dread fill in its place. This person sounded familiar, sure, but that wasn't what I was paying attention to. The tone in which they spoke had been sapped of all hope and life. I felt like I was approaching the predecessor of a corpse; someone who had long died on the inside but was trapped in a costume of skin and bones, animated by action as opposed to motivation.
"How can we trust you?" Antonio asked, posture stiff and jaw clenched. He was on guard and ready at any moment's notice to defend us if need be.
"I don't think it matters if you trust me," the person replied, voice deep. Their hands fell at their sides as they absently brushed a glove against the gravel. They made no indication of getting up from their seated position. "I already know that there are plenty of others watching. Let them, I want them all to know how disgusting and cowardly I am."
"That's not an answer," Antonio growled.
"Antonio, relax," I whispered only so he could hear me.
"Okay, here's how things are going to go down. You're right. We do have people watching all this, but we're willing to hear you out if you promise no funny business. Now, we're going to stand over there and wait for everyone else to come. If you try to run, I have a friend who's ready to sick three dogs on you at a moment's notice."
"There's no need. I will wait. It should give me enough time," they answered, cryptically.
Antonio and I exchanged glances, still uncertain.
"You guys heard that, right?" I asked. My voice was noticeably unsteady. This all felt so surreal. We had hyped up this confrontation for weeks now, only for it to culminate into something far more anti-climactic than imagined.
"I still don't trust them," Antonio grumbled. "There's no excuse for what they did." While I agreed with Antonio's skepticism, nothing about the stranger set off any warning bells in my head. There really was something familiar about them, but I couldn't quite place what it was. I was more unnerved than scared.
"We're coming out. Stay where you are," Alfred said.
"No one call the cops just yet," Liza warned. "We're going to try to resolve this first."
"They're coming," I told the stranger for no reason in particular. They gave a slight nod in acknowledgement. I immediately looked away. The fact that they were just…sitting there, as if they had nothing to live for was disturbing. This wasn't the monster I had been expecting.
Ludwig and Feliciano were the first to arrive. The dogs tensed and their shackles were raised, but they didn't bear their teeth or growl. This surprised Ludwig for a moment before he regained his composure and sent out his own barking command. Tito glanced at me, gave a quick, nervous wag of the tail, and then resumed his guard.
"Stay where you are and don't you dare think about moving," Ludwig said, holding up the dog leashes in warning. "Failure to cooperate will not end well for you. Answer our questions openly and honestly. Any bigotry will not be tolerated. Do I make myself clear?"
"Yes," the stranger whispered.
Ludwig grit his teeth. "All right then."
Feliciano, who had followed Ludwig's orders and had flanked behind him, waved forward at Kiku and Mei as they also came down to join us. Ludwig relaxed a tad, taking relief in the fact that the couple was well-equipped to defend against any possible assaults.
"Hey!" Liza called out awkwardly as she Roderich, Gilbert, Matthew, and Alfred came out. The others must have stayed back in the van. We needed the look out just in case the stranger was lying and had a partner lurking about.
Alfred tightly gripped onto his back, knuckles white and bulging.
"Can someone please explain to me why we haven't called the police?" Roderich asked. "Don't even get me started on how many risks we're taking right now."
"I want to hear their side of the story first before we do anything," Liza impatiently replied. "You hear that, you bastard? Stand up and look me in the eye. I want to know why you terrorized this place."
The stranger didn't budge and let out a strangled choking sound.
"You heard the woman! Stand up, you punk!" Gilbert screamed. "Or I'll damn well make you!"
"Can't believe I'm saying this, but I agree with Gilbert," Alfred said. "Listen, man. We can do this the easy way or the hard way. The easy way is you taking off that mask and apologizing for what you did. The hard way is us calling the cops and forcing the information out of you."
"Nothing is easy here, but I will comply." The stranger stood up, brushed off the dirt from their pants, and finally turned to face us.
Alfred faltered with recognition, eyes wide. His suspicions were confirmed when the stranger pulled off his ski mask, revealing white-blonde hair and pitted violet eyes.
Ivan.
"I-Ivan?!" Alfred blurted out. "Why?! Why would you do something like this?" His voice had raised several octaves. "I thought we were friends!"
Ivan shook his head silently, tears pooling. "I think everyone is my friend, don't you see? And then I ruin and destroy everything that I like. It's all I know how to do."
If it was summer, you'd hear crickets chirping. I felt like I had just intruded on a private moment. No one else bothered to say anything as Alfred took a hesitant step forward. Almost immediately, Ivan stepped back and hoarsely cried out.
"Alfred, please! Don't! Don't look at me! Don't touch me! I don't deserve you!"
"Nonsense!" Alfred cut in. "Don't give me that nonsense when everything already doesn't make sense as it is, darn it! How do you know that you don't deserve me? Please, just let me understand why you did this. I want to know!"
"I already told you," Ivan whispered. He melancholically looked past Alfred's shoulders, staring into nothing. "I grew up with destruction. I would move from home to home and get attached, only to have my heart broken all over again. This café became my home until I realized something. I had found another home. I had found a friend."
"Ivan, buddy. I'm not following," Alfred said, remaining in place when he noticed how antsy Ivan was getting.
"Oh," Alfred muttered, and dropped his bat to the ground with a clang. He took another two steps forward, but didn't push any further.
"I wouldn't have done that," Roderich tutted. "Who knows what that lunatic is capable of."
"I don't think he's going to do anything…" Liza said, solemnly. "I've never really understood Ivan, but now I think I'm beginning to."
"What do you mean by that?"
"Just listen."
"I'm used to being hated and feared. I experienced it for my whole life. Then I met you, Alfred. You may have hated me at one point, but you never feared me. You looked at me like I was a person rather and not the monster I've kept contained all this time. I frighten people because I'm scared myself. I know how to be around others. What I don't know how to do is let them in without destroying this attachment. Why wait and suffer from the anxiety when you can just end it all yourself, right? Why…why bother? Why bother if you know they're not going to return your affection anyway?"
A tear splashed onto the ground before Ivan's feet. "Why would I let myself get attached and set myself up for failure? If… if I ruined the home I got attached to, then I wouldn't want to come there anymore. I wouldn't want to come home to the one person who's ever made me want to keep my heart where it is now. I didn't want things to come to this. I…didn't see any other…"
"Option?" Alfred finished for Ivan. "Are you telling me you didn't see any other option?"
Ivan miserably nodded his head.
"I'm sorry, but that's not a good excuse, Ivan. I've been there for you all this time. Help's always been available."
"I couldn't. If I opened myself up to you, who knows what I'd say. The Ivan you know isn't even a fraction of my true self. I'm pitiful to look at, ugly inside and out."
"Now, who said anything about that?" Alfred's tone softened.
"I did!" Ivan snapped. "Are you even listening to me?! I'm telling you that I'm a horrible person. Why aren't you berating me? You should hate me! How dare you look at me like that, as if I've earned your compassion. I'm not worth it!"
"I don't know that yet!" Alfred grit his teeth. "I still don't understand why you did all this."
Ivan rubbed at his arm with a gloved hand, methodically as if he were soothing some sort of tension.
"Of course you don't understand. You're oblivious until I spoon-feed the information into that big oblivious mouth of yours," Ivan chuckled bitterly. "I'm fucked up, all right? I fell in love with you, Alfred. I didn't want to but I did. That's why I had to destroy the café. I had to ruin any associations or ties that I had. I wanted to ruin my image of you."
"I…you still came back Ivan. After all this time, you…came back," Alfred muttered awkwardly, the cogs in his mind struggling with a confused splutter.
I don't think Alfred had properly taken in Ivan's confession. He was too stunned.
"I know! I had to! I couldn't stop thinking about you."
"You love me…" Alfred said, more as if it were a question. He cocked his head to the side, eyes wide.
"Da, I do," Ivan gave Alfred an imploring look, desperately wanting to meet Alfred's eyes and yet silently begging him to look away.
Gilbert had seen enough, eyes incredulous at the sheer ridiculousness of the scene playing out before him. "Are you trying to tell me that you fell in love with Alfred and your only solution was to commit hate crimes and terrorize innocent people?"
Ivan's head sunk.
"YOU BASTARD!"
Gilbert leapt forward. Chaos unfolded as Matthew attempted to hold Gilbert back. Gilbert had managed to land a punch to Ivan's face, grabbing at the Russian's scarf that had previously been tucked into his jacket before Matthew was able to pull him away.
Alfred had rushed forward, furiously standing in between Matthew and Gilbert and Ivan. During this, I had gravitated towards Antonio's side, watching silently in horror.
Ludwig could only shout as he struggled to keep the dogs at bay. They had begun to react violently to the scuffle, growling lowly in their throats.
One side of Ivan's scarf was now touching the ground. He hadn't bothered to put up a fight.
"That was uncalled for, Beilschmidt!" Alfred snarled.
"Oh, so now you're taking that psycho's side?"
"He's not a psycho!"
"He's right you know," Ivan smiled through his tears. "I am a psycho. Why don't you call the police and lock me up? It'd do me a lot of good."
"Ivan?"
"Yes?"
"Stop talking, and now you listen. I love you too, but not like this. This is just too much," Alfred raked a hand through his hair.
"I know you do," Ivan said. "That's what made it so hard to turn myself in. I knew I wouldn't be able to stand your disappointment."
Alfred ignored this. "You're bleeding," he said pointedly. Alarm crept in. "Ivan, your neck! It's bleeding."
Ivan cupped a glove over his neck. "So I am. The wounds are not as shallow as I had thought."
"Ivan!" Alfred just about wailed. "Please! Please, I can't do this. Here, for God's sakes!" He reached into his coat and pulled out a wad of tissue. "Hold this, we'll have to get you a towel or something."
"Stop what? Stop being around you?"
"No! I just…you need help," Alfred concluded, swallowing heavily.
"I know I do," Ivan agreed. "I wanted to see you before that happens, though. Even if you hate me."
"I don't hate you, Ivan," Alfred whispered. "I never have."
Ivan perked up slightly. "Thank you. That makes me feel a lot better. I'm only just learning to come to terms with these feelings, but now I know for sure that I'm happy with them. I was always happy with you…"
"Are you uncomfortable with homosexuality, Ivan?" Alfred's voice cracked. "Is that it?"
Ivan's silence was more than enough.
"Geez," Alfred muttered to himself. "I honestly don't know what to do."
"I don't know, maybe call the cops?" Gilbert said sorely as Matthew continued to glare at him.
"NO," Liza exclaimed. "This isn't what this café stands for. I have a lot of conditions, believe me, but I think we'll be able to work something out. I can see now that you never really hated us for who we are. It was yourself that you hated, and my heart breaks for you as much as I'm angered by what you did. If you're willing to work and pay restitution, all will be forgiven."
Ivan stood there, flabbergasted as Liza walked over to place a hand on his forearm. Alfred looked up at Ivan, eyes shimmering.
"Liza!" Roderich flung forward to stand at her side. "You're being reckless. If you got hurt, I don't know what I'd do with myself."
Understanding the insinuation, but at the same time being wounded by the sting of it, Ivan sadly pressed his lips together.
"Not at all," Liza said as she reached into her jeans to pull out the store keys. "I don't foresee anything like that happening. Well, we have the whole night ahead of us. I'm giving you the chance to make things right, Ivan. I would be very grateful if I were you."
"What do you say, buddy? That sounds like a pretty sweet deal to me," Alfred asked Ivan.
"Thank you…Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Yes," Ivan finally said in response to Alfred, chuckling in disbelief as he reached up to wipe at his face. "It is. I almost don't believe it."
"Neither can I!" Gilbert and Roderich snapped in harmony. Both of their faces reddened in embarrassment as they forced themselves to look away.
"Enough, haven't you two learned to trust my gut?"
Gilbert sent Liza a hard glare. "You've mentioned gut so much in this chapter that it can easily be mistaken for an Activia commercial."
Matthew smiled at this, and it took a strong effort on his part not to laugh.
It didn't go unnoticed by the rest of us when Alfred kept a good distance away from Ivan as we all walked back into the café. The pressure of our worries had been lifted, but the bulk of the burden still remained.
…
While not everything had been aired out and disclosed, we all knew this. Liza had agreed not to press charges. In return, Ivan had to work to pay off the windows. Everyone began pitching in from there.
Matthew helped rebandage Ivan's neck. Turns out Matthew had long known about Ivan's cutting habits, as he had seen some evidence of it back in the change rooms during their hockey season. Roderich had also agreed, albeit reluctantly, to get into contact with his cousin therapist and refer them to Ivan.
Liza had called in Ivan's older sister to come pick him up, respecting Ivan's wishes not to inform Natalia of what had happened right away. He had gone through enough for one night judging by his haggard appearance. I sort of felt sorry for him, but there was still a considerably bitter taste in my mouth when I thought back to how much fear and hatred he had caused.
Most had already gone home for the night. While Liza and Roderich deliberated back and forth, with Roderich still attempting to remain firm in his desire to give Ivan a harsher punishment, Ivan and Alfred sat off in a sequestered booth on opposite sides from one another. Five full pizza boxes were pushed up against the booth's window.
Alfred made no move to eat the food.
"Give them time," Antonio told me, reaching over the booth we were sitting at to squeeze my hand in comfort. "They're both shocked and hurt. It'll take a while to process it all, but I believe they'll make it out all right. Honesty is what helped us."
"Yeah, well we don't have a shit ton of problems like they do," I retorted.
"That's true… at least Ivan's showing some desire to get help?" His statement sounded more like a suggestion.
I sighed. "We'll see. The guy has a big heart, but it's beyond me how fucked up he is. And here I thought I needed counselling."
Tito whined in my arms, angrily nudging his nose into my chest as if to command me to stop talking. He was snuggled up in my jacket with the zipper closed. It was well past both of our bedtimes.
"Who knows what he's been through," Antonio remarked. "Especially with that sister of his," he shuddered.
"Still," I asserted. "Even if he couldn't come to terms with his feelings for Alfred, it didn't warrant all this. Normal people don't do that."
"No, no they don't," Antonio agreed.
A healthy wave of silence passed by.
"We've come a long way, eh, you bastard?"
"Hmmm?"
I reached over the table to squeeze his own hand. "I still may not be comfortable with public affection, but it has nothing to with my sexuality anymore. That's just me. You've helped me find myself, shy and anti-social as I may be..."
Crap, this wasn't coming out right. "Maybe, maybe if we set an example and show people who used to be just like me that it's okay…they'll…"
Antonio didn't need me to finish. As we left the café, holding hands with Tito sluggishly trudging after us, we deliberately made a motion to pass by Alfred and Ivan's booth.
Antonio dipping me into a kiss at the front door initially wasn't part of the plan, but at this point, you'd know that I'd long learnt to just roll with it.
To be continued...