Chapter Twenty

I kinda forgot where I was when I opened my eyes. The damp grass had seeped through my jeans, the only thing cushioning me from the woodland ground was Chris' jacket.

Chris.

I opened my eyes groggily and looked down to see his arm slung across me. Smiling softly to myself, I snuggled back into his body and he stretched in response before drawing me closer to him.
"Did I wake you?"
"No," his voice was sleepy. "I was up. Just didn't wanna wake you."

We lay in the quiet for a moment, listening to the birds sing. Chris suddenly moved forward, sliding his other arm underneath me and leaning over so his cheek was pressed against mine.

"It's so weird to be waking up with you…" I murmured.

He kissed my cheek.

"It's so weird to be waking up with anyone…"He answered. Then he groaned. "That just made me sound like the worlds biggest player, didn't it?"

"Yes," I mumbled. After the night we'd had together, it was clear Chris knew he was doing in the bedroom department. Yet he'd never actually woken up with a girl? I didn't like the idea.

He rolled me over onto my back and smiled down at me.

"Well, if it helps, I've never wanted to wake up with anyone before."

"It helps a little." It was so hard not to grin at him. He was so different from Ace. Generous, sensitive and kind. Yet the thought of Ace made my smile fade…He wasn't going to take it well when I told him it was over.

"You worried about going home?" Chris asked me. I didn't like the way he seemed to read me. Ace was too absorbed in himself to ever give a shit how I was feeling unless it interfered with his good time.

"I'm more worried about what we're gonna tell Gordie," I said. Last night, he hadn't seem to matter but today I realised he must be worried sick.

"We'll tell him the truth," Chris shrugged. "We got into it with a crazy farmer with a gun and had to hide out in the woods til morning. Seems like we should probably tell Ace before we tell Gordie about us."

That name again. Ace.

"C'mon, we better get going," I said.

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Gordie and Violet had packed up the tent and all our belongings by the time we got back to the field. Granted, we had gone the long way round to avoid the farmer field but it was still pretty early. Gordie and Violet were sitting on the bonnet of Mr Lachance's Sedan with sour expressions.

"Where in the hell have you two been?" I had never seen Gordie so mad. Violet looked positively miserable.

"Hey, cool it Lachance. We ran into trouble last night. Had to hide out until it cooled down." Chris nodded at the car. "We all packed up?"

"What kind of trouble?" Violet suddenly asked. "We saw the police car. We thought you'd been arrested."

"It doesn't matter," Chris waved away her comment. He nudged Gordie playfully. "So you thought we'd been arrested and you hung around here? Didn't come to the cop station?"

That was when Gordie went absolutely crazy.

"How in the hell did I KNOW you were at the cop station? For all I knew, you could have gotten away and I would have gone there and totally given your names up for nothing! Then what, huh? Maybe I'm not used to knowing how to deal with cops. My family doesn't exactly come into contact with them very often. We can't all be a Chambers, can we?"

I think both mine and Chris' mouth fell open at the same time. Chris didn't even look hurt, just shocked. What the hell had gotten into Gordie?

But before anyone could even respond, Gordie climbed into the passenger seat of the Sedan and slammed the door shut.

Chris looked at me and I looked at Violet.

"What in the world happened last night?"

Violet shook her head dumbly.

"I honestly don't know. Everything was great until we saw the cop car. I suggested we drive into town when you guys didn't come back and he said no. When I said you guys might be in trouble, he just went crazy. He's barely spoken to me since."

My eyes travelled to the windshield that Gordie was staring out of moodily.

"That doesn't sound like Gordie…" Chris said.

Violet shrugged helplessly.

I touched her shoulder.

"I'll talk to him later. Come on, let's get out of here."

I was demoted to the back seat with Violet who didn't say a word to me the whole way back. Gordie didn't say anything either and the only communication I had with Chris was eye contact through the rear view mirror.

We stopped just outside Castle Rock so we could fill up the tank. That way, Mr Lachance wouldn't know we had taken his car.

"I need a drink," I said as Chris pulled up next to the fuel pumps. "Anyone want anything?"

Nobody did but Violet said she'd come with and wandered into the gas station with me. As we stood in line I was horrified to see that her eyes had filled with tears.

"Violet? You okay?"

"What did I do?" She whispered, half to me and half to herself.

I didn't know what to say to her.

"What happened? What exactly happened?"

Violet swiped at her eyes and took a breath.

"I told you. I said we should take the car and drive to town. He said no. I said I was worried about you guys then I…"

"What?" I asked patiently.

"Then I asked him if he could drive…" Violet remembered.

I stared at her as all the pieces of the puzzle started to slot into place. Shit.

"Listen, Violet." I took her arm. "This has nothing to do with you. It's about Gordie. And I'm sure once he's calmed down he'll tell you about it, okay? He doesn't mean any of it."

Violet looked at me hopefully.

"You think?"

"I know," I told her. She cheered up a bit after that but my mind was ticking ferociously as I paid for my coke and followed her back to the car. Once I was sat behind Gordie again, I leaned over and gave his arm a squeeze. He jumped at my touch.

"What?"

"Nothing. You're okay, Lachance, even when you're being a wet head."

It was kid name calling and he smiled briefly at the insult.

When we got to Gordie's, I pulled Chris aside for a moment.

"Could you walk Violet home?"

"Sure. Why?" He asked as he locked up the car.

"I just need to talk to Gordie. Not about us. Is that okay?"

Chris considered this.

"Are you trying to get out of telling Ace?"

"No!" I snapped. "I'm telling him. Today. There's just something I gotta do first."

Chris nodded.

"Okay, no problem." We looked up to see that Gordie and Violet had stopped on his porch. "It sucks I can't kiss you goodbye."

"Save it for later," I said teasingly. "You owe me two now."

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"Thought you would have run back to Ace's by now," Gordie threw himself into an armchair.

"Gordie, what's wrong?"

"Nothing." He flicked the television set on and scowled in it's direction.

I walked over towards him and squatted in front of the chair.

"I know you can drive, Gordie. Why don't you want to drive the car?"

"I just didn't want to, okay? It was pointless anyway- you guys weren't in town or in the cop shop so can you just drop it?"

"Is this about Denny? Is that why you always let Chris drive?"

As soon as I said his name, I felt Gordie shudder. The thin mask of anger he was using gave way to an expression of pain.

"Don't, Nina."

"Look, it's okay." I took his hand. "It's okay if you never get in a car for the rest of your life. But just don't lie to me. Or Chris. Or make Violet think she did something wrong."

Gordie put his face in his hands.

"I was such a jerk to her. And Chris."

"They'll get over it."

"I just-" He sighed. "I wanted to tell Violet but however it came out was gonna be pussy. I mean, I passed Drivers Ed."

I nodded.

"But after that. Being in the drivers seat. I don't know. I have these nightmares. That it's me in Denny's jeep. And he's sitting in the passenger seat. Then I lose control."

"Aw, Gordie." I slid into the armchair with him and wrapped my arms around him. He leant his head briefly against mine.

"How do I fix it with Violet?"

"Gotta tell her the truth, buddy."

"Ah,man. Do I have to?"

"Yes." I ruffled his hair. "Poor girl thinks you're psychotic. I mean, she's only half wrong…"

He shoved me away and I stood up laughing.

"Guess I'll go over to her place then." Gordie stood up and stretched.

"Sounds like a plan. I'll walk out with you."
"Going to Ace's?" Gordie asked.

I nodded grimly. Today was the day.

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Ace didn't seem to be in a talking mood when I got back. The game was on and he had already ploughed through three bottle of beers before I finally plucked up the courage to say something to him.

"Ace…"

"Hmm?" Ace had his feet up on the coffee table while he watched the game. His arm was wrapped loosely about my neck.

"We need to talk."

Ace groaned and let his head fall backwards on the couch.

"Can we just chill the fuck out for once? I'm really not in the mood to do the warm and fuzzy shit."

His tone angered me. I thought about Chris' trusting eyes and his deep but soft voice. I didn't need to put up with Ace's shit anymore.

"No, Ace. No, we can't chill the fuck out. We need to talk. Now." I stood up, strode over to the television and snapped it off.

"What the fuck is your problem?" He sat up, clearly irritated and spoiling for a fight. But I wouldn't give him one. Not today. His attitude wasn't my problem anymore.

I walked sedately to the armchair and sat down in it, before folding my hands in my lap.

"It's over, Ace. I don't want to be with you anymore."

He rolled his eyes.

"This shit again? What have I done now? Hurry up and get it over with so I can finish watching the game."

"You haven't done anything, Ace. Or maybe it's everything. Either way, I'm finished here."

Ace was watching me with a quizzical expression.

"You're fucking serious?"

I nodded.

"Yeah, I'm serious.

"So you think you're gonna walk out of here without looking back and without giving me a damn reason?"

I put my head in my hands briefly.

"Ace, come on-"

"Give me a reason!" He leant forwards on the couch and roared at me. The noise was enough to make me jump. He'd been mad at me before but he'd never yelled like that.

"Maybe I-maybe I just want better," I stammered.

He slumped back when I said this, his face becoming vacant. Not knowing what else to say or do, I stood slowly, switched the T.V back on and headed for the door.

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I was almost out of there. I had my hand on the door handle.
It was then that Ace decided he wasn't going to let me go quietly.

"Better?" He spun me around and slammed me against the door, the impact taking my breath away. "There ain't no better than me, Doll, and anyone you think is better ain't gonna be better when he's sleeping in a shallow grave, is he?"

I gasped, trying to regain my breath as Ace pinned me against the door, his fingers wrapped around my face.

"Ace, stop!" I wheezed.

He realised what he was doing then, released me and backed away a couple of feet. He put out his hands as if to reassure me.

"I wouldn't hurt you, Christina. You know that. I'm not like my old man."

"I know, I know," I sobbed.

"But I won't let you leave me. I won't let you walk out like my old lady. My Pop could have stopped her but he didn't," Ace's voice wavered for a second before his eyes turned hard. "I will never let you leave me. And nobody else will ever take my place. Not while I'm breathing."

His words sent a chill down my spine as I thought of Chris. Ace would kill anybody I wanted to be with but he'd gain an extra satisfaction from killing Chris Chambers.

Ace came forward and looked at me head on.

"Is there someone else?"

"No," I shook my head vehemently. "I just don't wanna fight anymore." I was lying obviously, but I had already decided in that moment I didn't want to be with him whether me and Chris worked out or not.

Ace approached, brushing a stray hair off my forehead.

"Then let''s not fight, baby." He kissed my forehead and pulled me into him. "Let's just forget we ever had this talk, okay?"

I nodded into his shirt, still quietly sobbing.

"You okay? Did I hurt you?" He tilted my chin to look at me and I shook my head. "Don't be sad, babe. Everything's gonna be okay, alright?"

But as he led me back towards the sofa, I had a sinking feeling in my stomach that everything would be far from alright.

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I didn't go to school the next day.

I told myself I was tired but I knew what the real reason was. I couldn't face Chris. I couldn't tell him that it was impossible for me to leave Ace.

I went over to Gordies once I knew he would be back from school, wondering if Chris had spilled our secret to him but Gordie was his usual self. He had apologised to Violet, he had started his novel. And he wanted to go for a milkshake and tell me all about it.

I wasn't even sure what Gordie was saying when I saw Chris walk into the diner. He was wearing jeans and a black polo shirt and I don't think he'd ever looked so good. Although my heart leapt in my chest, I was still afraid to tell him that I hadn't broken it off with Ace.

"…so nobody even reads those kinds of things anyway," Gordie paused. "Willis, are you listening to me? Oh, hi Chris."

Chris didn't take his eyes off of me as he sat down next to Gordie in the booth.

"Excuse me, I need the bathroom," I got up shakily and climbed out of the booth area before heading to the ladies. I splashed water across my cheeks and stared at myself in the mirror. Is this what I had become? A girl who was cheating on two guys? But what other option did I have? If I dumped Ace, he would hurt Chris. And if I dumped Chris, I would hurt Chris.

I swallowed, smoothed down my hair and took a deep breath. Then I opened the door to the ladies.
Before I could move towards the booth, I felt strong hands guide me smoothly around the corner towards the kitchen and out of view of the restaurant.

"Chris-" I began.

He pressed his lips hard against mine, his hand sliding behind my head to cushion it from the wall behind me.

"Chris, we can't do this here!"

He kissed me again, only stopping to mutter;

"Well, let's tell everyone."

I stopped arguing and kissed him back harder so I didn't have to answer him. I was getting carried away in the moment when Chris suddenly had a thought and jerked backwards. I opened my eyes to see him staring at me accusingly.

"You haven't told him, have you?"

I bit my lip.

"Nina! We talked about this!"

"I know," I said hurriedly. "And I tried. But he wouldn't listen. And if I do break it off with him, he won't leave me alone and he'll find out about us."

Chris ran a hand agitatedly over his hair.

"Well, that's kinda the point. For people to find out. For us to be together in the open. Damn it, I won't be that guy again!"

I felt my stomach drop as he said that, but this wasn't the same as him and Jennette. I wasn't using him to make Ace jealous.

"Chris, he'll kill you. You know he will." I could feel tears springing to my eyes.

Chris' face softened.

"I'm not scared of him."

"But I am."

Chris stepped forward, wrapping his arms round me and drawing me close.

"I won't let him hurt you, Nina. I promise."

"I'm not scared for me, I'm scared for you," I whispered.

"Well, what do we do then? Keep sneaking around? And what do you and him do? You gonna keep letting him kiss you and touch you and-" He put a hand across his eyes as if to calm himself down.

There was a tense silence before he finally dropped his hand and looked at me.

"I can't share you with him anymore, Nina. You gotta make a choice. Me or Ace."

I grabbed his arm.

"I choose you! Of course I choose you, but there wont be a you to choose if he finds out I dumped him for you."

"That's not choosing me, Nina. That's copping out. You either dump Ace or you and me are through."

My mouth fell open but my obvious shock didn't deter him.

He gave me one last glare before storming out of there.

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