Chapter Twenty -Three
I realised I had no place to go once I started walking. Gordie and Chris would be at school. Fran would be at work. As I trudged down the street away from Ace's, my school bag banged painfully against my legs. It was stuffed to the brim with my personal belongings and weighing me down heavily.
Screw it, I decided. I could go home. Stan hopefully wouldn't be there and it would be somewhere to hang for the day.
There had been no news on Stan's incarceration and I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. If the cops had charged him with anything I was shit out of luck with no legal guardian. I wondered worriedly what a group home or foster home would be like.
Stan's truck wasn't there when I arrived so I tried to get in the front door which was strangely locked. I tried the back but it was the same deal. Then I remembered my bedroom window, the one Chris had said to leave pushed shut but unlocked. When the window slid smoothly out of the frame, I thanked Chris silently in my head and climbed in.
My room seemed untouched since the last time I'd been there. The drawers were open where I had frantically packed my things the day Chris had brought me here. The same day that my mother had told me to pack my things and go. It was eerie that that day wasn't all so long ago. That she had been here, alive and breathing.
A big fat tear rolled down my face as I recalled the last time I'd seen her, touched her, looked into her weathered face. I sat down on the edge of the bed and sniffed hard, trying to come to terms with the fact that I'd never see her again.
I almost fell off of the bed when my door banged open so hard it hit the wall, and my alarm clock clattered off the dresser and onto the floor.
Stan.
"What in the hell are you doing here?" He snarled at me.
I'd had no intention in wreaking any sort of revenge but as soon as he was there in front of me, God, I hated him. I don't know what the hell I was thinking when I flew at him, clawing at his neck and screaming like a banshee.
"What the hell did you do to my mother?"
He threw me off violently and I crashed into the wall before sliding down it. As I sat there crying and panting, Stan was examining the scratches I'd given him, blood flowing down his neck.
"You meddlesome little bitch. You're a waster tramp who shouldn't even fucking be here!"
"Did you do it? Did you kill her? Tell me the truth!" I screamed.
He strode up to me and pushed his ugly face down into mine, spittles of saliva splattering my face as he spoke.
"If I had, she woulda fucking deserved it! Bitch totalled my fucking truck then left me with funeral bills to pay. A drain on my fucking resources, that woman. Always was."
"I'll tell the cops you did it. I'll tell them everything!" I was sobbing heavily now, my chest burning with the effort to talk.
"You go ahead. The cops let me go. No charges. Your words aint gonna mean shit. Now go on and get out of here. Before I do to you what I did to her." He was laughing as he said the words and maybe he was saying it to get a rise out of me but if he was, the plan worked. I launched myself at him again, tearing at his clothes, swinging for his face.
It only took him a couple of blows to knock me down and before I knew it I had cracked my head on the side of the bed and landed awkwardly on the floor.
Stan was on me in an instant, squeezing his hands around my throat, blocking the air to my lungs.
I tried to struggle but it was impossible to get free. The room started to grow blurry and the edge of my vision was tinged with darkness when he finally let go. I gulped and gasped for a good ten seconds before I heard anything he was saying.
"-would miss you. I know places out in the forest where nobody'd find a no-one like you. Just might seem a bit suspicious is all, so soon after your Mama." He was laughing again and I screamed an obscenity at him just before he grabbed me, hauled me to my feet and frog marched me to the door.
Then he threw me outside.
"You don't come back, ya hear me? And you know what else, ya little tramp? Your principal left me a message and said he needs to confirm living arrangements. You know what I'mma tell him next time he calls? That you ain't no kin of mine. They better find you a nice little orphanage to stop at. This house is mine now. Don't you ever come knocking again."
The screen door slammed shut but I sat outside on the hard dirt for a long time. I barely noticed the sun move from one side of the sky to the other. It must have been afternoon by the time I finally got my act together, picked up my things from where I'd dropped them outside my window and hitched a ride to the diner.
"You're early," Fran commented as she passed me carrying a tray of burgers. "Honey, you okay?"
I guess I didn't look okay. I didn't feel too hot neither. I went out back and washed my hands and face before getting my uniform out and changing in the store's cupboard.
"You don't start for an hour," Fran chided me from behind the counter but I started clearing tables anyway. I had to keep busy. I couldn't think about what Stan had done to my mom.
Fran tried to get me talking a few more times but I guess she gave up in the end. I worked like a machine through the after school rush and then the dinner rush. It was just quieting down when Gordie showed up.
Gordie. I had completely forgotten I'd told him I'd come over to his house.
"Nina?" He was hanging around the kitchen door when I came out and pulled me in for a great big hug. I hugged him back, trying to feel something, trying to push away the numbness.
"I'm uh-sorry.I just…." I couldn't even finish my sentence.
"It's cool. I figured you decided to go to work when you didn't show. Thought I'd come say hey." He stepped back a little and looked down at me. I wondered if my expression looked as flat as I felt. "You okay? Dumb question, I know."
"I-uh- I think Stan killed my mom."
"What?" Gordie's eyes went wide as saucers. "What makes you think that? Have you seen him?"
I nodded.
Gordie shot a look around before looking back at me.
"What are you doing here? You shouldn't be working."
"I feel sick." I gripped his hands and felt a tremble begin to work its way through my body. Stan had killed my mom. He'd as good as admitted it and even though he was obviously trying to piss me off, I believed he was capable of murder. Now more than ever.
"Come home with me," Gordie said but I shook my head. The quiet of the Lachance place was the last thing I needed right now. "Nina, I think you're in shock. You look pale as shit and you can barely string a sentence together. You look like you need a brandy."
Brandy. Yeah, I could do with a drink. Something to take the edge off.
"Irby's," I said. Irby's was the only joint in town that would serve me alcohol.
"Fuck no, not there."
Irby's was a Cobra hang out. We shot pool sometimes in the day there but Gordie wasn't keen on the place.
"We go there and Ace is gonna drag you off before we get a chance to talk. And we need to-"
I cut Gordie off and watched as his jaw literally dropped.
"Ace and me broke up."
"For real? When?"
"This morning."
"So we definitely wanna avoid the place then, don't we?"
"Gordie." I let go of his hands and backed into the kitchen. "I need a drink. Okay?"
He shrugged helplessly as I headed back into the stores room but I knew he'd go along with whatever I wanted. In stores, I changed out of my uniform and came back through the kitchen before coming face to face with Fran.
Shit, I was the worst employee ever.
"Uh, Fran, I-"
"Go home," Fran said. "You should never have been here in the first place, kid. You look like hell."
"I'll be back tomorrow," I said."Is it okay if I leave my stuff out back?
"Sure. And if you ain't up to it, just call me. You got somewhere to stay tonight?"
"Yeah, Gordie's here," I told her. I took a breath. "I-uh- listened to what you said last night. I broke up with Ace."
Fran put her hands on her hips and gave me a slow smile.
"Well, finally, girl. I think that's the smartest decision you've made in a while. But you remember what I said. If you need it, my couch is yours."
"Thanks, Fran."
She nodded then her eyes narrowed, her hand reaching out towards me.
"Did that shit put his hands on you?"
My hands flew self consciously to my neck.
"Oh-no- I, uh- that was-something else."
"Something else you wanna talk about?" She demanded. I could tell she didn't believe me but I shook my head vehemently anyway. No way was I going to talk to her about Stan or my mother.
Fran sighed.
"Go on, get out of here."
I slipped out thankfully to a waiting Gordie and the two of us made our way out of the diner.
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Thankfully, there were no Cobra's at Irby's when we arrived. Gordie and me found a quiet table in the corner and over a bourbon and coke, I told him how I'd broken it off with Ace that morning. Then I told him about going home, facing Stan and what Stan had implied about killing my mother.
"That son of a bitch," Gordie breathed. "Did he do that to you?"
Again, my hands went to my neck and this time I zipped up my coat and flipped up the collars.
"Yeah. I thought he was gonna kill me if I'm honest."
"You can't go back there, Nina. Not ever. Who knows what he's capable of?"
"It's not him killing me that worries me. He said he's gonna tell principal Foster he doesn't want me. That they'll put me in a group home."
Gordie took a sip of his beer and frowned.
"Maybe he won't. Maybe if you just stay out of his way, he'll cool down."
"Fat chance of that," I said, knocking back the last of my drink. "Your round, Lachance."
"Gimme a second, I need to take a leak." Gordie stood up and headed for the bathroom. And of course, that's when Ace and Eyeball walked in.
Ace did his usual sweep of the room at the doorway and on seeing me, he shoved Eyeball towards the bar and strode over.
"Back so soon?"
"Get over yourself, Ace. I just came for a drink." I shook my empty glass at him.
His jaw tightened and then he tipped his head back arrogantly.
"Yeah and of all the bars in all the world-"
"This is the only place I don't get I.D'ed, you know that. I needed a drink, okay? This has nothing to do with you."
Ace lifted Gordie's beer bottle and then crashed it back down on the table before dropping into Gordie's seat.
"So who is it to do with?"
"Get out of my seat, Merrill."
Ace looked up at Gordie approaching and smirked.
"Oh, this faggot. That's okay, Lachance. I know Nina's not your type."
"Just beat it, would ya? Come on, Nina, I told you this was a bad idea." Gordie stood over the table while Ace continued to glare at me.
"Why don't you admit it, Willis? You can't keep away from me. The reason you're here is 'cause you regret all the stupid shit you said this morning and you wanna come home with me and make it all up? Ain't that right?" Ace leaned over the table but Gordie shot out a hand and shoved him away.
"What the fuck is the matter with you, Ace? She lost her mom this week and she's had a shit day. That didn't involve dumping your sorry ass. In fact, she doesn't give a shit about that. So much so that she came here for a drink even knowing you'd be skulking around here somewhere."
Ace was out of his seat in a flash.
"You wanna say that to me again, you wise ass little punk?"
Gordie didn't look like he was going to back down but I had had enough.
"Stop it, okay? Both of you! Gordie, give us a minute."
Gordie widened his eyes, hurt, and I lowered my voice.
"Just one minute. Please. I love you for defending me but please just wait outside."
Gordie looked from Ace to me and then back to Ace again.
"Behave yourself, Merrill. I mean it."
Gordie stalked towards the door, letting it slam behind him. Ace glared after him.
"When did that wuss grow a pair?"
"Ace." I looked into his face searchingly but kept my voice calm. " Gordie's right. I've had a bad day. I needed a drink. End of story. We're still over."
His face grew hard.
"It's never over between us. You should know that. I'll see you around."
"Probably not," I blurted out. "Stan's gonna tell the school he won't be my guardian. I'm going to a group home. Could be anywhere."
Ace had been walking away but now he stopped and threw me a lazy smirk.
"Anywhere or not, it's never over."
He went to the bar where Eyeball had ordered them some beers. He never looked back at me and I watched him gulp his drink, frown at something Eyeball said, and then pick up a nearby pool cue. He was confident enough to think that he didn't need to chase me.
And when I walked out into the dusk to see Gordie waiting irritably, Ace's voice's was echoing in my ears.
"It's never over between us."
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"Nina, are you coming to school today?" Gordie was buckling his jeans when I opened my eyes.
"Mmm..maybe," I mumbled.
The truth was, the thought of school didn't thrill me, but the thought of seeing Chris today did. I had been up late talking to Gordie about Stan and my Mom. Gordie thought Stan was bluffing about killing her but I wasn't so sure. The one thing we both agreed on however, was that he was to be avoided at all costs.
"Well you got ten minutes to make up your mind. And I'd spend 9 and a half of those in front of the mirror if I was you."
I threw a pillow at him which he dodged laughingly. Screw it, I decided. I was going to school today.
We almost missed the bus. Gordie managed to get in front of me and flag it down but the two of us were heaving and gasping by the time we dropped down in our seats.
"I told you we didn't have time for you to plait your damn hair," Gordie panted.
"We did too. Made the bus, didn't we?"
I could feel him glaring at me before a different voice said:
"Urm, Nina?"
I looked up to see a quivering Annabelle sit down in front of us. "I just wanted to say sorry. You know, about your mom?"
Her voice was shaking and she still couldn't look at Gordie but I appreciated the sentiment.
"Thanks," I said softly. "How you been? It's been a while."
"I know," Annabelle smiled. "I've missed talking Frankenstein on the bus with you."
"Frankenstein?" Gordie frowned. "Nina, you hated that movie."
"Well, I don't hate the book," I told him. "We're reading it in English. And I can skip the really gory bits. Besides the main reason I hated it was you kept scaring me when it got creepy."
"That's 'cause it's so easy…" Gordie grinned and Annabelle finally made eye contact with him. "It's Annabelle, right? Think we had phys. ed together last year?"
Annabelle nodded, her innate shyness preventing her from responding. Gordie took it in his stride.
"Hey, did you know that Shelley wrote Frankenstein when she was eighteen years old?"
"Really?" Annabelle's interest was suddenly piqued by her school work. It was the same way I had gotten her talking.
"Oh, yeah," Gordie said. "And she got the idea from a dream she'd had about her own baby. Ya see, her kid died at six weeks old…"
As Gordie droned on and Annabelle listened intently, the bus rolled up at Chris' stop.
I could already feel the butterflies in my stomach as he boarded. Chris gave me a slow sleepy smile as our eyes met and I was reminded of the morning we'd woken up together in the woods.
He walked towards us and thoughtlessly dropped into the seat beside Annabelle.
"Hey."
"Hey, man," Gordie said cheerfully. "We're just having the Shelley debate. Did a woman really write something that good?"
"And so gross," Annabelle chipped in then went red as Chris looked at her curiously.
"It's pretty coincidental that she was married to Percy Shelley at the time," Gordie went on.
"Well, I think she wrote it," Chris responded. "Mary Shelley was the daughter of an author and her mother was one of those real women's lib characters. Plus from what I've read Percy Shelley was a superior bastard. If he'd really written it for her, he doesn't seem the type not to take the credit."
I didn't realise I was smiling so openly at Chris until he smiled back at me.
"That's a really good point," Annabelle said thoughtfully.
"Chris Chambers." Chris put out his hand and grinned at her. Annabelle flushed as she took it, averting her eyes and saying 'I know', before blushing even more deeply.
Chris kept talking, pacifying Annabelle with his easy smile and gentle voice. I watched him without saying much and wondered how I'd ever not found him attractive.
When the bus reached school, we all climbed down together and as Annabelle slunk away, I was quick to spot Violet on the front lawn.
"Hey Gordie, there's Violet," I said and the tactic worked like a charm.
As Gordie disappeared into the throng of students, Chris gave me a sideways smile.
"How you doing today?"
"I'm okay."
"What's that on your neck?" Chris suddenly stepped forward. "Did Ace-"
"No," I interupted him. "Me and Ace. Well, we-"
"You what?" Chris snapped, completely out of character. At first I was taken aback. Then I smiled at him.
"Are you jealous, Chambers?"
"No! Yes. Okay, of course I am. How could I not be?" He hitched his backpack up on his shoulder and took a deep breath. "What happened to your neck?"
"Screw that. I have something to tell you. Me and Ace broke up."
He gaped at me.
"Since when?"
"Since yesterday."
"Well, that.'" He smiled widely at me. "Is the best news I've had all week."
He almost kissed me. Right there in front of school. But we were interrupted by Gordie yelling at us.
"Nina, Chris, come on, we'll be late!"
Chris put his hand on the small of my back as he guided me towards the school.
"So your neck? They look like finger prints."
"That was Stan," I sighed. "Tell you later."
"Son of a bitch," Chris muttered darkly. I nudged him plaufully.
"You're even sexier when you're angry," I whispered as we started to catch up Gordie and Violet.
"You're even sexier when you're single," he murmured in my ear.
"Oh, I'm single, am I?" I rolled my eyes at him.
"Not for long," he answered. "But at least until we tell Gordie."
Hmm, Gordie. I'd forgotten all about telling him.
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