Chapter Ten

Jasper

I struggled with the beast for days before getting enough control to enable me to approach Bella with any degree of safety. The fact nearly all the others were gone made it easier. Bella knew I was here watching her somehow and that fragile human I had already tried to kill made the first move. Why wasn't she afraid of me? I couldn't begin to understand her but through her feelings I knew she was telling the truth. All I got from her was sincerity and a desperation to get her story told. Her words made sense even to my confused mind and as she continued I saw my actions in a new light. I had been so ready to shoulder all the blame when as she pointed out, I only shared it. That was bad enough but there was a glimmer of hope where there had been none only blackest despair and pain. The questions about Alice raised concerns. I had loved her, trusted her and I would have died for her. She watched my future constantly to prevent me from backsliding yet she never saw Bella as a danger to me. She told me over and over that I wouldn't hurt her, that everything would be fine, right up to the day of the party when I voiced my own concerns. My feelings for Bella were confused and I was afraid I might be heading for an attack but still Alice insisted everything was going to be fine. How had she been so wrong? Why was there so much glass around? How did she miss the accident? There was no way she would have missed such an incident, it was unthinkable, but so was the alternative, that she had known, had seen it, and said nothing. Not tried to stop it, knowing what would come next. Was it me Alice hated? Or was I merely a tool to rid the Cullens of Bella? That was a question I would be asking Alice one day.

For now Bella was waiting for a reply.

"You think Alice set it up?"

Bella nodded

"Yes I do and I want to know why. Aren't you interested in hearing her answer?"

Oh I was but I couldn't think straight, too much running through my head and Bella's gaze was confusing me even more. Breaking eye contact I struggled to form coherent thoughts.

"I have problems enough for now Bella. I'm expected back in Mexico soon."

"Don't go. You don't belong there"

"So you keep telling me. Then where do I belong Bella? Where does this man with the beast chained inside belong? I have nowhere to go except back to Maria"

"Yes you do and you know it so stop playing dumb."

Peter stood behind Bella, his face serious.

"Go on Bella, ask him"

She knew what he meant and I saw hope in her eyes, she was hoping I would stay? It didn't make sense, any of if.

"Jasper will you stay here with me...with us?"

That was when I saw it, what Peter and Charlotte already knew. The one thing I was sure of, adrift in this sea of confusion and pain, I was in love with Bella, completely and permanently. I had found my mate and she was a human. This was a complete mess!

Now what was I going to do? I wasn't sure I trusted myself being close to Bella but leaving was no longer an option. I couldn't leave, she was my life, but what could I do? She didn't know how I felt about her and now she saved me from returning to Mexico I was sure she'd be leaving. Did I follow her? Skulk around the periphery of her life, living on glimpses. How could I tell this beautiful human girl who had risked so much for me that she had the monster in her grasp, her constant companion.

Peter

I saw his dilemma, what he failed to take into account was why she was still here, why she had risked her life to see him, speak to him. Why she had been prepared to face death or worse at Nathan's hands to make him see his worth. She may not know it yet but Bella was as deeply committed to him as he was to her. All they needed was time and space, the rest would come together in the end.

"So Major? Are you going to disappoint the lady?"

He glared at me, water off a ducks back, looked at Bella and then at the ground.

"I don't think its safe Bella. me being so close to you."

She stretched out her hand to touch his, knowing instinctively what to do.

"I trust you Jasper, please stay."

He swallowed nervously then nodded, putty in her hands, this was going to be fun to watch!

Bella

Peter was amused by something and it was making Jasper nervous.

"Well I'm off to the barn. you two youngsters play nicely"

I threw him a dirty look as he turned to go but I knew he would take no notice, Peter was a law unto himself. We stood awkwardly for a moment before I sighed and he looked up at me. the eyes although an unfamiliar colour now looked more like the Jasper I had known so briefly.

"Shall we sit down? I know you don't get tired but standing for hours is difficult for me and I'd like to talk."

"Of course, I'm sorry Bella."

He followed me to the porch and I sat in the chair I'd vacated when he appeared. There were two others, one next to mine and the other in the far corner. He looked at that one until I shook my head,

"Oh no, I'm not shouting, sit here."

He looked so nervous it made me smile,

"Jasper I'm supposed to be frightened of you, not the other way round remember?"

He managed a slight smile,

"I didn't want to crowd you, make you feel uncomfortable."

"And do I? Feel uncomfortable? Don't forget I know you are an empath, you'll need better lies in future. You're the one who's nervous and I can't imagine why, but I'll find out."

"I wish you wouldn't try Bella"

I had a sudden desire to reach out and touch him, stroke his cheek, and found my hand outstretched before I could stop it. To leave it dangling there would have been too awkward so I did the first thing that came to mind and brushed a strand of hair away from his eyes. He froze and I sat back embarrassed.

"I'm sorry I don't know what made me do that."

"I didn't mind. It's just strange having someone not too afraid to touch me"

"Don't forget I know you were married to Alice for years"

He laughed a scornful brittle sound that jarred.

"Oh Bella if you only knew. But you said you had something you wanted to talk about"

"No, I said I wanted to talk, but you're right. There are things we should discuss"

"Such as?"

"What we are going to do, where you are going next, when did you hunt last?"

"Why? Do I look thirsty? Am I making you uncomf...sorry"

"Now why do you think you only picked up on the last of my comments?"

"Because I'm nervous around you"

"An honest answer, thank you. I'll take it. Don't be nervous, I won't bite your head off"

This time we both laughed and it was natural.

"Now as to the other comments?"

"I didn't understand them"

"OK, what are we going to do about Alice?"

He flinched at her name but I ignored it.

"Do? I don't know as there's anything we can do"

"Well I intend to find out why she let events unfold as they did. Damaging not only her professed friend but more importantly her husband."

He sighed heavily and closed his eyes, looking suddenly weary.