Chapter Twelve.

Bella

Peter came back as soon as Jasper left.

"Hurt him and I'll be on your tail Bella, and its Whitlock"

I hadn't realized I was talking out loud,

"What?"

"His surname, its Whitlock, same as mine."

"Are you related?"

"Only by venom, does that count?"

"In this case yes, and Peter"

"Yes?"

"Let me tell the others in my own way."

He looked at me with a mischievous grin,

"What's it worth?"

"My silence about you and Sam"

"Who the fuck is Sam?"

"The girl I was with."

"I never touched her"

"I know that, you know that, but Charlotte..."

"Bella you play dirty. OK but I'll get my own back"

"Oh I don't doubt it Peter, not for a second."

Rose

Emmett was happy playing with his dinner while Char and I sat talking, she thought Bella might be interested in Jasper but I was more cautious. I'd seen her with Edward, the doe eyes, trotting behind him like an eager puppy, letting him control every aspect of her life. I couldn't see that happening again and Jazz was a whole different ball game. We eventually went back mid afternoon and I was disappointed that Jazz wasn't there, I'd been certain he was close by. Bella was sitting in the same chair on the porch eyes closed, a book open on her lap, but she was smiling and there was a flush to her cheeks.

"Bella, what's been happening while we were away? You look different."

"Did you have a good hunt? I hope Emmett got his bear."

So she was going to be difficult,

"Where's Peter?"

"In the barn I think Rose."

I shot her a glare but her eyes were still closed. Had I been wrong thinking Jazz was around? I couldn't find Peter in the barn or the house but I knew he had to be close by, he wouldn't leave Bella alone. Deciding to try again I stomped back to the kitchen where Emmett was regaling Bella with a story of his bear hunt, total fiction of course but she was enjoying it. Charlotte looked at me quizzically, so, she hadn't found Peter either. By the time Emmett finished his story Bella's dinner was ready so I sat impatiently while she ate. When she finished I took the plate and cutlery, putting them in the sink.

"You don't move until you give. What's been going on?"

"You don't have to answer that Bella"

As he spoke, he and Jasper came in together and to my amazement while Peter went over to Charlotte Jasper went to Bella's side and knelt beside her, taking her hands in his and looking into her eyes. Although he was still tense and his face serious he was no longer radiating rage into the atmosphere. It was as if Bella were a lightning conductor, grounding him and allowing his negative energy an escape route. He had eyes only for her, ignoring the rest of us.

"Walk with me"

His voice was very quiet and I saw her suppress a shudder which concerned me but she got up, still with her hand in his and they went out.

Jasper

When I saw Bella sitting there and the smile she gave me when I walked in, despite knowing what I'd just been doing, I felt a little more a man, a little less a monster. I wanted to talk to her alone so I asked her to go for a walk with me. Her reaction to my request concerned me but through her hands I felt the overwhelming emotion and it was love. Once alone and away from other ears I stopped and turned to look into her face,

"Why were you so hurt when I asked you to come for a walk with me?"

Her reply explained it all, as she told me everything Edward had said to her I felt my rage building once more, he'd lied to us all, never admitting what he had actually said to her or how badly he had hurt her. I wanted to kill him at that moment but Bella put her free hand to my face and smiled,

"He's not worth it Jasper. No one is worth losing yourself for."

"You are"

She reached up and kissed me, it started sweet and gentle but became more demanding. My venom must have stung her mouth before numbing it but it didn't stop her and when she pulled away gasping for air I missed her.

"So, what did you want to talk about Jasper?"

She looked concerned and I wouldn't have worried her for the world so I sat down on the dead leaf scattered ground and pulled her down beside me,

"Bella you do understand where I've been and what I did?"

She nodded still waiting,

"I know you think that you know me but there are things I have to tell you, show you. That way you can be sure that you want to continue a relationship with me."

"I don't need to..."

I stopped her with a finger to her lips which she kissed.

"Yes you do Bella. I'm not the man you think I am. I know Edward told you something and Peter probably a little more but you have to know it all. I need to be sure you wont back out in the future because you find out the truth about me."

She leaned against me as I put an arm around her, ready to move away if her feelings changed.

"OK. It won't make any difference but I can see you need to be sure. Go ahead, I won't interrupt again"

I started back at the very beginning, how I became a vampire, then what I'd become for Maria. I didn't leave out anything, the things I'd done in her service, the fact we were lovers, everything. Then I paused waiting, but she remained calm, her feelings however had changed, just not the way I had anticipated. She was sad, and angry, and repulsed but over it all lay her love, strong as before.

"I know you saw me at the Cullens with Alice, you saw Jasper Hale, a vegetarian, well a struggling one. I found suppressing my natural urge to hunt humans very hard but I persevered because it made Alice happy and gave me some peace, something that had been missing from my life for so many years. Then after I attacked you and felt their revulsion, anger, and disappointment I just gave up trying. I believed all the things Alice said I was. So I went back to Maria and became The Major once more. But things were very different, I repulsed myself, I hated what I was doing and realized I couldn't live this life any longer. Maria wanted me back in her bed too, but I couldn't, it just disgusted me. I was adrift, my old life lost to me and my life with The Cullens no longer open to me. Do you know what kept me sane? You'll laugh at this...you. I often wished that I had your photograph with me but it would have been too dangerous. If Maria had seen it she would have gone crazy trying to find you. She is very jealous of her possessions and that's what I was, a possession. She never loved me, I know that now. That's all I have to tell you but there's something I must show you too. Its my last and most horrible secret but you have a right to know and I need to feel your reaction. That will tell me all I need to know, you won't have to speak. Before I do can I ask you a question?"

"Of course Jasper"

Her voice was soft and filled with a mixture of love and sadness, a mix that confused me yet again,

"When I was telling you about Maria, my life with her, your emotions were so mixed up. I understand the repulsion and anger but not the sadness. Or was it because you realized I was a monster after all?"

"Stop trying to out think me Jasper, you only get it wrong. I was repulsed by the things you were made to do, angry with Maria for making you do them and deceiving you. The sadness was for you, for the young man ripped from his life and moulded into believing himself less than a man, a monster. Now let's get the tell and show over with, then we can talk about more important things."

"If you haven't left or felt hatred and revulsion afterwards I'll discuss anything you want."