Chapter Fourteen

Jasper

I took a deep breath and started, answering their questions in turn,

"Bella and I haven't decided anything yet but we'll let you know when we do. I told her everything and she told me what happened with Edward so yes we are sure. I haven't a clue about Edward but if he gets in the way I will act."

"We will"

It was only a sleepy murmur but everyone heard and smiled.

"As to a wedding I think it's a bit early to be thinking of that. Give us a little time. I don't think Maria will come looking for me, she's got her hands full with rivals over the border and as for the Volturi, well if Bella asks I will change her and if not I'll find a way to keep her safe if it becomes necessary. As for Charlie, that's for Bella to decide and I see no reason to tell Carlisle or Esme anything, they wanted rid of me and they got their way. Now if everyone's had their say I'm going to take Bella back to bed and this time I'm staying with her. You can have a good gossip among yourselves."

I picked Bella up and ascended the stairs once more, this time when I put her to bed I lay on top of the covers beside her and she rested her head on my chest, whispering my name in her sleep, her arm across my waist. It had been far too long since I'd been with a woman and I found myself becoming aroused by her scent, her closeness, then I remembered the last time and it was like a slap in the face, cooling me instantly. I had gone back to Maria who welcomed me eagerly, putting me to work with her newborns straight away. It was easy work and I found myself going through the motions without having to think at all. I kept to myself back in my old quarters next to hers. Females were still captured for the men on occasion and I was offered my share but I wasn't interested. I wanted to fight, to lose myself in the savagery of battle. I suppose I should have expected it but when Maria came to my room I was taken by surprise. She made it very plain what she wanted and I was expected to oblige, I always had before but this time I felt nothing for her and I just couldn't bring myself it do it. Her naked body and eager hands did nothing to arouse me and she became angry, them scornful and finally spiteful, throwing my failure at me to everyone but especially Nathan who replaced me. Now I was worried I wouldn't be able to please Bella, I wondered if my experience with Maria and then Alice, their cutting remarks about me not being desirable, being impotent, even not wanting my bloodstained hands and mutilated body on hers would become an obstacle to making love again. I decided perhaps not, with Maria it had been plain sex, with Alice it had been what? An obligation? A chore? A distasteful duty? I didn't think now I examined my past that I'd ever made love to a woman, Bella would be the first, if I could. I spent the night stealing calmness from her to counteract the feelings of panic and inadequacy that kept battering at my self-confidence. By the time she woke up I was pretty much an emotional wreck and she seemed to sense it. She pulled me close and held me.

"Whatever is worrying you I am here to help. Just don't shut me out."

Appreciating her words I held her a while longer before going down to the others while she showered. I would have stayed, watched her, joined her, but I wasn't at that stage of intimacy with her... yet. When I got downstairs there were only Charlotte and Rose in the house, Peter had gone with Emmett to get a part for the truck.

"Jazz I'm really sorry about last night. My only excuse is that I love you both and care what happens but its none of my business. We cut you loose after the accident so I don't blame you for feeling bitter towards us."

I looked at Rose thoughtfully, I'd always liked my almost twin sister.

"Its OK Rose. Leave it in the past, you're here now. Lets start over."

She smiled and nodded,

"Thank you for the second chance I don't deserve."

Charlotte

I was pleased to see Jasper and Rose reunited, she'd told me what had happened with the Cullens and it seemed to me that Alice Cullen was the one to blame for what happened and the aftermath. I'd never liked her, I always thought she was an evil and cruel manipulating bitch. When I told Rose she had to agree with me, Emmett however was a little harder to convince, he saw the good in everyone, while Peter already hated her. Left up to him she would have been burned at the stake as a witch years ago. I know what Jasper had said last night about his ex but it was my opinion he hadn't heard the last of her. I really doubted she was finished with either of them yet but we would all keep an eye out for trouble while these two sorted out their relationship. To Rose and I it was a done deal, they just hadn't realized it yet, last night was a perfect illustration of the truth in that. Jasper was getting agitated by our relentless questioning and Bella appeared, still more than half asleep in response to his need. They were so deeply connected if you cut one, the other would bleed.

When Bella came down the first person she looked for was Jasper and as soon as she saw him she relaxed. He joined her in the kitchen and as I watched she taught him to scramble eggs and make crispy bacon. He watched intently and I knew tomorrow breakfast would be waiting for her when she came down. When the guys got back Rose joined them to fit the part they had just purchased. I went to watch after seeing Bella and Jasper sitting on the porch swing talking and lost in their own little world.

Bella

Something was still bothering Jasper and that in turn worried me.

"Jazz please don't keep things to yourself, I can feel you're worried and its making me nervous."

"It's nothing darlin' just a lack of self-confidence, I'll work through it with your help but we have more pressing concerns for now. When they were shooting questions at me last night one stuck in my mind. By the way how did you know that I needed you?"

"Just a feeling. I started feeling anxious and angry and I knew it must be you. Did you mind me coming back down to you?"

"No, you probably avoided an argument, but back to this problem. What are you going to do about Charlie? And work, your apartment, your life? You left it all behind to look for me. Don't you want to go back to it? If you do and its just me stopping you I'll follow you there, we can work something out."

Again I felt his need for reassurance and slipped onto his lap putting my head on his shoulder as I spoke,

"The life I had wasn't worth very much, Edward had destroyed me, I was bitter and suspicious and I only took the job because it was in Montana which held no memories for me and I didn't have to interact with people very much. I guess I'd better go back to my apartment though, collect my things, I don't want to stay there and I think I've probably lost my job by now anyway. Charlie is a bit more complicated. I'm not sure what to tell him, I've only been in touch sporadically since College so he wont be worried yet. What are we going to do Jazz? If we are a couple he'll have to know. He won't like it, he'll see you as another Edward. will that bother you?"

"As long as you are by my side no. I'm man enough to work things out with your Father but he might be less worried if he knew we were serious about our relationship."

These words made my heart flutter wildly and my mouth go dry.

"Meaning?"

I felt suddenly very nervous, but excited, apprehensive, but hopeful, and I knew what he was going to say. Was I ready for this? I didn't know, I had no idea what I was going to say until he asked me and I thought if he went down on one knee I might die of embarrassment. He smiled reading my mixed emotions and suddenly I realized it was worse for him. He'd been through this before, he'd asked Alice to marry him a number of times and been turned down each time until it had suited her purpose, did he expect the same from me? Or was I jumping to the wrong conclusion?

Jasper

I'd been here so many times with Alice, thinking she loved me and making myself vulnerable. I wasn't sure I could go through rejection again but I trusted Bella. She would stop me before I made a fool of myself. I only knew of one way to do this so I took a deep breath and went down on one knee, taking her hand in mine.

"Bella I know this is fast but you already know how I feel about you and I think, I hope that feeling is mutual. I won't ask you to promise to marry me but I would like you to consider it. In the meantime I have to tell you that I love you and I want to spend eternity with you by my side. So would you object to being engaged to me?"

She blushed and bit her lip in embarrassment and I knew I'd read the situation wrong, all I could do having asked was wait for the axe to fall.