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She had disappeared a while ago into the bedrooms. I really didn't want to let Cooper out of my sight. However, I didn't want to let momma out of my sight either. She seemed to be causing more trouble then the dog!
"Okay," I heard her voice from behind the couch. I turned to face her and tried to keep my eyes from bugging out of my head. "Did you know that your mom's boss has an antique human skull in his room?"
Why does she keep doing this to me? "Please put that back! I'm not supposed to touch anything here," I begged.
She rolled her eyes and set the skull down on the table next to the couch. "Touching things is a part of life!"
I set Cooper on the floor. "But, I'm pretty sure we're not supposed to…"
"Look!" she interrupted. She ran her hands all over the guitar. Oh my God. "I'm touching Elvis's guitar…" she pointed out.
Yeah, because I was totally unaware of that!
"See?" she said. She started impersonating Elvis. "I'm Elvis Presley and I'm touchin' my gui-tar…"
I looked at her in shock… Please make her stop…
She continued. "That's right, baby. I'm touchin' the boss's skull, now I'm touchin' my special gui-tar."
She dropped the guitar. Finally.
"See? I touched the guitar and nothing bad happened," she said.
I breathed a sigh of relief. That was lucky. But of course, I can never be lucky and that's why the guitar detached from a string and went sailing through the closed window.
My mouth formed the shape of an O. I'm gonna cry. I can feel it. I told her not to touch it. I can't yell at her… She's my momma. I just… Why?
She turned to face me. "That guitar was not properly hung."
Of course she would blame something else! Oh my God, she broke everything! I ran off into the bathroom and locked the door. I never should've let her come. Oh wait. I didn't.
"Jade, you have to fix this!" I begged.
"Cat, just stay calm, ok! There's a solution to this. Go outside and get the guitar, alright?" she said tranquilly.
I looked at her for a moment. She was insane. "Kay kay…" I said quietly.
I walked out the door, making sure Cooper didn't escape with me. I navigated my way among the bushes and found the guitar. The neck was completely torn from the body. Nuts askew all over the ground. Strings were barely holding it together. I picked up all that I could and carried it back into the house. Jade had a full roll of duct tape in her hand. Aw man…
She forcefully took the pieces from me and started wrapping the gray material around the neck and body. It wasn't very pretty.
She tore off the tape and picked the guitar up in her arms. There was a sickening crack as she strummed it.
"Do you think my mom's boss will notice?" I asked, even though the answer was obvious. People from outer space could notice it!
"Cat! Hey, Cat!" I heard Robbie sing-song from the hall.
"We're in here!" I yelled back.
Momma looked at me in either disgust or shock. "You called Robbie?"
"Yeah! So he can help us put up the guitar and fix the window!" I explained.
"Robbie can barely work the zipper on his own pants!" she whined.
That was mean. Robbie was nice, I don't know why she had to be so cruel to him. It was pretty funny, though. Robbie had trouble with zippers. I giggled a little then focused back on the task at hand.
"What's up, little pigeons?" Robbie asked as he entered.
I was surprised to see dad walk in after him, though. And apparently so was momma.
"Hi," I offered.
"Why did you invite Beck?" she whisper-shouted at me.
I looked at her, confused. It wasn't my fault, I swear…
"I thought you had a date tonight!" I heard my dad call. Momma turned to face him.
She crossed her arms over her chest. "Why did you think that?"
"Because it said so on your Slap page," he responded coolly, his hands in his pockets.
"Why are you stalking my Slap page?" she bickered.
"Why do you care?" he questioned further.
"Why is Robbie's zipper down?" I bud in, trying desperately to change the subject.
It occurred to me that I might've embarrassed him as Robbie looked down and zipped up his pants as subtly as possible.
"Look. Let's just get this stupid guitar fixed and hung back up there before Cat's mom's boss gets back," momma snapped, motioning her head towards the ceiling where the guitar used to be.
"We have to fix the window too!" I added, touching her arm.
"Ooh!" Robbie answered, pulling out his phone. "I'll find a window repair company using the new feature on my Pear Phone," he said brightly.
He opened the app and spoke extremely clearly into the microphone. "I need a window repair company in Beverly, Hills," he said.
The phone spoke back to him. "Checking for: Adult diapers."
Robbie's cheeks reddened. "N-n-n-n-no, that was my last search!" he screeched into his phone.
An hour later, the window was finally fixed. We had to search forever, but we found a guy. Now I stood next to my dad while he signed papers for the man.
"Thanks for fixin' the window," my dad told him.
"Yeah!" I added brightly. We were making progress. "And we didn't even notice your lack of hair," I joked.
I guess he didn't take it as a joke. He glumly walked out the door as I waved bye to him.
"Guitar all good up there?" my dad called to momma and Robbie on the opposite side of the room.
"Yupperdeedoo!" Robbie answered on top of the ladder.
"Yeah, and look," momma added, "You can't even see where it broke."
"Nope," Robbie agreed, stepping off the ladder.
"Yay!" I exclaimed. "My mom's boss will never know anything bad happened!"
I was genuinely excited. I thought this was gonna go horribly.
Robbie picked up the skull, admiring it. I wasn't really paying attention. I don't think any other things can go wrong.
Next thing I knew, the skull had made contact with the glass table as they both shattered to pieces. I was still recovering from shock when the guitar came detached again, swinging across the room, sending sparks flying. I felt my dad's arms around me. Oh no…
I let out a squeak. This cannot be happening again. I let out a higher pitched squeak.
"Don't cry…" momma pleaded. Yeah, she should be pleading!
"But…" I started, but was interrupted by a buzzing.
"I heard a buzz," Robbie pointed out, obviously.
"Zip up your pants," momma told him.
I spoke into the intercom, hoping my voice wasn't wobbling too much. "Hello?" No such luck.
Of course it was my 'mom's boss. A small part of me was hoping that it wasn't. But of course it was. I looked at my parents and Robbie. They had to have some sort of solution… But of course they didn't.
"Could you buzz me in?" Carl asked again.
I swallowed and spoke again. "Um… Sure, I could…" I swallowed again. My voice was cracking. "Or maybe you could go to Europe for two weeks," I tried desperately.
"Cat. Buzz me in," he replied more sternly.
I felt tears well up in my eyes as I pressed the button to let him in. "Kay kay…"
I didn't even try to hold back my tears. I never should've let her come. I should've told Robbie not to bring Beck. This was all my fault. I shouldn't even be here. I can't babysit a dog, I wasn't even born in the era. I just ruin everything. I threw myself onto the armchair and curled up into a ball, well aware that they were watching me. I don't care anymore.
They assured me that it would be okay. I could barely hear them, though. Not that I care. All the damage was done. Then I felt the floors shake. I heard the rattling of the chandelier. Oh no… Not one of these…
"Earthquake!" I heard momma yell.
No no no no no no no no… I sat up and stood up off of the chair. I hated these, I'm afraid of earthquakes, it happened one time when I was five and I was with a babysitter and I wanted my dad and I don't like these one bit. I felt his arms wrap around me as he pulled me into a corner.
"Everybody down, cover your heads!" I heard him yell.
I saw my mom cover her face with a pillow while Robbie crawled under a table. Cooper was barking like crazy. My life was flashing before my eyes. I was gonna die. Everything was crumbling and falling around me. I felt my dad hug me tighter. I clamped my eyes shut. I can't look anymore.