Dedicated to Netamashii.

Naruto slept terribly last night, so when he got up at 9 a.m., he was already in a grouchy-ass mood. Sai wasn't up yet, so he left a note that he'd taken off and would call him later. He would've gone in there and jumped on the bed to annoy him but figured the guy put up with enough crap last night that he deserved to get his beauty sleep. At least the sun was out. The snow looked pretty on the branches and all over the ground. It hadn't turned to black slush yet.

Once he was on the bus to his apartment, he felt better. He plugged his earbuds into his phone, content to sit here undisturbed until his stop. Talking to Sasuke for that long had been a stupid idea. No matter what he said, he couldn't get the anger or bitterness to go away. He knew it would lessen in time, and he was at least satisfied Sasuke hadn't denied it. Although, Sasuke not denying the part about having no feelings for him sucked, but it was something he'd been trying to deal with and accept since then. It wasn't Sasuke's fault how he felt (or, rather, how he didn't feel about him), but he sure could've fucking handled it with a lot more tact. It annoyed him, too, that instead of going out with good people like Rin, Sasuke was spending time with Yagura. He always acted like he hated him, so what the hell? And, why the fuck were the playlists on his phone so depressing? Even Black Keys was getting on his nerves, more so since Sasuke loved them. Naruto was acting like a jilted school girl, and he knew it. He needed to man up. At least he was going to Chicago soon and could see old friends, do dumb shit, and maybe get into some trouble.

When he hopped off the bus, Naruto paused at the entrance of the park near his apartment complex, feeling nostalgic as he thought about that time he and Sasuke came here the day after they'd spent that first weekend together. Getting depressed, he glanced down at his phone, searching through his playlists for more upbeat music than what was on now. Just when he thought he'd found one, the first song to play was The Kooks' "Forgive & Forget."

"Why," Naruto asked his phone as if it had betrayed him. "Why would you do this to me?"

"You say you need someone to love you. But it ain't me!"

He switched to a list that only had Nirvana songs. Most of them were angry, so that felt better. Naruto, calmer now, slipped his hands into his coat pockets, enjoying the cold morning air. Hardly anyone was out. Even on the bus, there'd only been two other people. He blew out an exhale of breath, creating tiny clouds of air, caught up in thoughts about the show last night. Not Sasuke specifically, but about the band, a little about Rin and if he'd ever bump into her again. Knowing she knew Sasuke, that seemed especially complicated right now. He didn't have her number either, but could track her down on Facebook. To ease his blood pressure, he let his mind wander to things like how hot and confident she looked on stage, how good of a singer she was, and the fact she was ridiculously charismatic. She wasn't like the other girls he'd dated. They could have fun together. That's something he needed. Nothing serious.

As Naruto entered his building, he switched his backpack to the other shoulder, humming with his music and grateful there was no one in the lobby so he wouldn't be forced to make small talk. As he stepped into the empty elevator, he wondered if his dad was home or if he'd have some time to himself to take a shower and chill, without anyone nagging him or getting under his skin. But, when he jiggled the knob, it opened, so he knew he wouldn't be alone. It smelled like someone had been cooking bacon. He didn't eat much yesterday and at the smell of all that grease, his stomach growled.

"Dad?" He called, pulling at the wires for his earbuds and wrapping them around his phone.

After closing the door, he kicked off his shoes by the mat.

"I said I'm home. I couldn't sleep at Sai's and I'm starvin'. Did you make enough for me?"

Walking the short corridor to the kitchen, Naruto spotted a small pile of pancakes on the counter, along with some crispy strips of bacon. He was going to grab a plate first thing, but then he heard the sound of two voices in the living room. Curious about who their company might be, he went into the living room and dropped his bag on the hardwood floor when he saw Sasuke sitting on the couch next to his dad.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, not even trying to hide his irritation at seeing him.

"Naruto," Minato scolded, but Naruto wasn't in the mood.

"Seriously," said Naruto. "What the hell are you doing here, Sasuke?"

Outwardly, Sasuke remained composed, his eyes set on Naruto, but it's not like he was going to reply with his dad sitting next to him.

"Naruto, could you try to be less rude? Sasuke's a guest in our house." Minato stood up from the couch.

Figures he'd take Sasuke's side despite knowing they'd been fighting.

"Cool, well if he's your guest, I'm goin' to take a shower."

Naruto picked up his backpack and hoisted it onto his shoulder again, making his way to the bedroom. He threw the bag on the floor, annoyed at being ambushed. When he turned around, he discovered Sasuke standing in the doorway, staring at him.

"I let you have your say last night," Sasuke said, keeping his voice low. "But I wanted to talk to you before you left for Chicago."

"And it had to be today?" He asked, searching through his dresser for clean clothes. It was a good thing he'd done laundry yesterday, but he still needed to pack.

"I pick up Itachi tomorrow, you go out with him Tuesday, when else would there be time?"

"Or, we don't have to do this at all." Naruto turned around, dropping his pile of clothes onto the corner of his unmade bed. "I don't remember inviting you over here or actin' like I was interested in talking to you. The only reason I called last night - "

"I know." Sasuke took a couple of steps into his room until they were only a few feet away from each other. "It's not as if I made the decision to come here lightly."

"Great, well if you've waited this long, you won't mind waitin' longer because I stink and I'm goin' to take a shower."

"Fine," Sasuke replied. "I'll wait."

"Tch." Naruto brushed past him, avoiding any contact their bodies might make, and headed into the bathroom, where he was grateful he'd be allowed some time to think in private.

Sasuke took a seat in Naruto's swivel chair, his heart hammering in his chest. He hoped he looked a lot calmer than he felt. After not sleeping well last night, he'd had a fair amount of time to do some thinking. He knew Naruto was avoiding him, so the best opportunity to talk would require him to show up at his place unannounced. It helped that Minato had been here when he knocked on the door. He'd had no idea when Naruto might come home, but staying an hour to chat wouldn't appear especially suspicious.

Minato, who was fond of history and politics, had always been easy for Sasuke to talk to; they discussed music, too. It surprised him that Minato still treated him with the same amount of courtesy as he had before, which made him wonder if he knew they were fighting. Sasuke couldn't tell from their conversation either way, but it was possible he was simply being polite.

As he glanced around Naruto's room, it was more neat and orderly than usual other than the bed being unmade. Sasuke usually made his, so he'd often felt compelled to make Naruto's on the mornings that he slept over. Unless a change of sheets was in order, of course. He couldn't explain it exactly, but since this was the first time he'd been in Naruto's bedroom in over a month, it felt felt colder somehow and like he wasn't welcome. Not just because Naruto didn't want him here; it was as though he wasn't worthy of being in this room where they'd shared so many nights talking, laughing, kissing… everything that came along with being close to Naruto.

Just as he was feeling that twinge of regret and longing again, he heard the bathroom door open and in walked Naruto wearing nothing but a towel around his waist. Sasuke wouldn't be ashamed to admit his mouth went a little dry and his gaze, as if on reflex, swept down Naruto's toned body and up again. Dammit. That was a reaction he couldn't control at all, but Naruto played it off like he didn't notice. He started picking up the shirt he'd left on the corner of the bed. Sasuke was staring when Naruto suddenly looked at him and frowned.

"Would you mind turning around?"

Sasuke blinked at him and cleared his throat. "Uh, sure."

He spun the chair around, now facing Naruto's laptop screen. The computer was off, which meant that Sasuke caught Naruto's reflection as his towel dropped to the floor. His eyes ran the length of Naruto's naked body. It was only a side view, but that didn't stop his hormones from recalling the other night when he watched the video and jerked off thinking about him. No matter how cool he tried to play it, that was one thing he couldn't get his body to lie about.

"Alright. You can turn around."

Sasuke did and found Naruto in a pair of jeans, just about to pull a t-shirt over his head.

"Isn't that my shirt?" He asked, his voice sounding hoarse.

Naruto shot him an annoyed look. "Do you want it back or something?"

"As part of the divorce settlement, you mean?"

Naruto didn't seem to find that funny.

"No," Sasuke said. "You can keep it. I, um. Didn't come empty-handed. I have something for you in my bag. I'll let you finish getting dressed and go get it."

He stood up, eyeing the discarded towel on the floor. What was wrong with him that he desperately wanted to throw it in the hamper in the hall closet? He shrugged off the urge, and passed by Naruto, who still kept looking at him like he wanted to knock him through a wall. Sasuke retrieved the two items he'd brought. When he returned, Naruto was sitting on the edge of the bed, looking at his phone. He glanced up when Sasuke stood in front of him.

"Here." He handed Naruto the folded t-shirt and the tiny slip of paper on top of it.

"What's this?" Naruto asked, eyeing the items with suspicion.

"Well, it's certainly not a bomb," Sasuke replied. "Rin mentioned you wanted one, so she insisted I take one in case I bumped into you. You'll recognize what's on the paper."

"So… this is from Rin?" Naruto asked, both of his eyebrows drawing upward.

He thought Naruto would be more likely to accept them if he said yes, so, "Yes."

"Oh, well. Okay then. Tell her I said thanks." He took the shirt from Sasuke and set it in his lap before unfolding the paper. "Is this…?"

"You said you wanted it. So, there it is." Sasuke chewed at his bottom lip, then slid his tongue across, wetting it. His mouth was still dry. He was more nervous than he'd realized.

"Did she say anything about me to you?" Naruto asked, and because he sounded so hopeful, it almost hurt a little, but this is what he should expect from now on.

Needing to do something with his hands, Sasuke tucked them into his back pockets. "She did. She said she saw you staring at the shirts, that you were nice… funny, and… I don't think she found you unattractive. But, she also said you didn't know she was the band's singer."

Naruto's cheeks turned red. "How was I supposed to know? I'd never seen their band before, and it was Sai who wanted to go, so - " He caught himself. "Whatever."

"You've seen her. You just don't remember. She was in the band that played before mine on prom night. You came to the bar afterward…" He decided not to add to see me. "You said she was good, but you were drunk. Then you went to dance. I'm surprised you didn't recognize her."

"Hm. Now that you mention it." Naruto scratched his head. "Feels like a long time ago."

"It was April," he replied. "Now, it's mid-December."

Naruto's thoughtful expression changed into one of indignance. "I know that, thanks."

"Are you going to call her?"

Naruto glanced at the number. Sasuke scrawled it this morning on one of Yagura's Post-It notes. He'd only done it because Naruto asked. It's not like he was thrilled about the idea of Naruto being interested in someone else, but he had no right to complain either. He liked Rin, which scared him. If he liked her, he knew Naruto would, too. And Sasuke already knew Rin liked Naruto, but she wouldn't try to interfere without his blessing, so to speak.

"I just thought she was nice," Naruto murmured. "Thank you for this, and for the shirt."

He set the piece of paper aside and picked up the shirt with Rin's band name on it.

"Did she tell you anything else?" Naruto asked. "I was… I dunno. I saw them and I got to thinkin' about you because you're always collecting shirts from local bands. It would've made a good Christmas present is what I was thinking. I guess that's a tough habit to break."

The blond glanced up at him, his gaze a mixture of sadness and acceptance. Or, resignation? Even more than the angry words or being ignored, that look made Sasuke's heart ache. It was so painful he had to take in a deep breath. He let it out quietly while Naruto was watching him.

"Why are you here?" Naruto repeated. "Just to bring me this?"

"No." He felt nervous again under Naruto's sharp scrutiny, but the worst that could happen was that the blond would reject his proposition. "There's something I want to ask you."

"Okay. You've buttered me up with presents, so… shoot." Naruto's eyes conveyed curiosity.

Sasuke fought a strong urge he was having to walk up to him, take hold of the sides of his face, kiss his lips, and push him down onto the bed. He'd taken it for granted when he had the privilege. There seemed, in this moment, nothing worse than being denied getting close to him, to be held by Naruto, or to hold him. The sound of his name on Naruto's lips, whether it sprang from ecstasy or in response to a joke, or like a sigh of fondness. Having never had a true relationship, Sasuke didn't know what it meant to break up with someone, but this must be what it was like. Yet, he would've thought it to be a situation where neither party had feelings for the other anymore, and here he knew he had these feelings and that, perhaps, Naruto was still struggling with having feelings for him, too.

If this had been two or more month ago, Sasuke might've breached that distance, but after what happened, he knew that he'd pushed Naruto away. He'd hurt him. He wanted to believe that the best thing for both of them, for Naruto especially, was to deny these feelings existed. It's not to say Naruto was wrong about Sasuke being capable of casual physical relationships, but Naruto was always at the forefront of his thoughts. If they were in a real relationship -

"Sasuke?" Naruto asked. "Well?"

"Would you be willing to come home with me?"

"Um, what?" Naruto pulled a face.

"That's not a very attractive look on you," he said.

"Tch. Like my looks are any concern of yours," Naruto replied defensively. "You certainly never complained before."

"I wouldn't complain now."

The words came out mumbled, his mouth working faster than his brain.

"What was that?" Naruto asked, looking confused.

"I… There's not anything I want from you, but I hope that you might come with me to my house. For the afternoon. I do want to talk, just not here. It's up to you, but I thought it would be nice for mother to see you again. Before you go to Illinois. Before Christmas."

Naruto pressed his teeth into his lip. "That's low. You know I love your mom."

"I said it was up to you." Sasuke's hand twitched with a desire to move Naruto's hair out of his eyes, but he formed a fist, instead. "She was talking about you the other day and wanted to know why you hadn't been around since Thanksgiving weekend."

"What did you tell her?" Naruto asked.

"I told her you were busy. Should I have told her the truth?"

"I… dunno." Naruto shook his head. "No. I'm glad you said that. I wouldn't want her to be worried or sad or anything."

"I wouldn't either. If all you want to do is say hi, I can take you right back afterward."

"I can take the bus back," Naruto said. "No need for you to bother."

"So you'll come?" He asked, trying to keep that small glimmer of hope from making its presence known in his voice.

"I guess. I mean… you don't have any ulterior motives, do you?" Naruto leaned back on his arms, eyeing him suspiciously.

"What is it you think I'm going to do?"

"I don't know, but, to be honest, I don't know what it is you want from me or what you're trying to accomplish. But, yeah. I'd love to see your mom and talk to her."

"But, not my father, hm?" Sasuke glanced at the folded note containing Rin's number. "Make sure you put that into your phone before you lose it. I'm surprised your room is this clean."

"Dad made me." Naruto picked up the paper and, getting to his feet, set it on the desk. "I'll put it in when I get home. I doubt I'll lose it by then. I'd hate to lose it a second time."

"I meant to tell you earlier, but while you were in the shower, your dad said he was heading out to run some errands," Sasuke informed him.

"Tch. I dunno what he was thinking earlier. He knows I'm mad at you and that I think you're an ass, so I'm surprised he let you in."

"Don't hold back on my account," he said.

"Why should I?" Naruto asked. "You didn't hold back with me that time. Anyway, let me brush my teeth and make somethin' to go since I didn't eat. I feel like I'll pass out soon if I don't."

"I can make you something while you do that - "

"No, thanks," Naruto cut him off. "I can do it myself. Give me five minutes."

"Okay." He was almost shoulder to shoulder with him, and as they exchanged a look, Sasuke understood then that Naruto was putting a wall between them.

"Just wait here," Naruto said. "I'll be back." He took a few steps toward the door and paused. "You can use the computer if you want. Password's the same."

Then Naruto headed out of the room, leaving Sasuke, not quite for the first time, to feel foolish about his recent decisions. All he'd ever wanted with Naruto had been within his grasp, and he'd refused it. In doing so, he'd messed up the best thing that had ever happened to him.

Naruto stared out the window while Sasuke drove them to his house. They were halfway there and had exchanged only a handful of words. At least Sirius was on, so the silence didn't have to be awkward. Of the two of them, Naruto had always been better at small talk, so he wasn't all that worried about Sasuke trying to keep a conversation going. He reached for the volume to turn the music up just to make sure Sasuke understood he wasn't interested in chatting.

Tell me where'd you go when you said goodbye?
I never thought I'd lose you
Didn't think you would make a sacrifice
There was never any room to
Head for the road and live your life
And I'll read all the signs
Tell me where to go when the love has died?

He snorted as he set his elbow on the armrest and returned to staring outside. The snow along the road had turned to blackened mush, unlike earlier this morning. The sky was a dismal gray, too. Naruto covered his mouth as he yawned. He should've taken a nap, but he couldn't get his brain to turn off at all. It always made it harder to think clearly when Sasuke was nearby, so having him only inches away didn't help. Naruto kept telling himself he was doing this for Mikoto. She'd become like a second mother to him, and he'd missed her over the past few weeks. If he was going on his own, he would've picked up some flowers, but he wasn't going to ask Sasuke to stop at a store. That would require talking to him, and talking to him only pissed him off. A few times, his phone went off. A message from Sai and one from a guy he used to hang out with in Joliet. They were supposed to do something when he was over that way. They were only five minutes from Sasuke's house when Naruto put his phone back inside his pocket, the radio continuing to play the same rip-out-your heart music.

Would've gave it all for you, cared for you
So tell me where I went wrong
Would've trade it all for you, there for you
So tell me how to move on

It was Sasuke who turned off the radio following the last lines, plunging them into an uncomfortable silence almost too awful for him to keep quiet.

"Not a fan of her new song?" Naruto asked while staring out the window, his hand half-covering his mouth as he kept his eyes on the trees lining the road.

"I was hoping for something more upbeat," Sasuke mumbled.

"Ah."

"Maybe it wasn't meant to be."

Naruto sat back against the seat, glancing over. "Maybe you're right."

Sasuke looked back at him. "This side of you is strange to me."

He narrowed his eyes. "What side? My left side is supposed to be my good side."

"You're not going to be serious with me, are you?"

"I already wanted to get serious," he replied, an empty smirk pulling at the corner of his lips.

"Whatever." Sasuke shook his head. "Will you be angry at me forever?"

"There's hope."

"What is it you want to hear?"

"An apology would've been a nice start," he answered. "But, it's too late for that."

"I didn't know there was a statute on such things."

Naruto snorted. "It's okay, Sasuke. I'm not expecting you to say you're sorry for bein' a dick. I know it's just part of who you are. Don't expect me to fall for any of your usual attempts to work me up. I'm not as dumb as I was a month ago."

"I never said you were dumb," Sasuke responded.

"You didn't have to. I figured it out on my own. I accept responsibility for that."

"I'm not sure exactly what you're saying," Sasuke replied, but by then, they were driving down the road toward the house.

"You know what I'm saying."

They pulled into the drive, and Sasuke hit the button for the garage. The door closed behind them, shrouding them in darkness until Sasuke clicked the button for the garage light. It felt strange to be here again. He used to have really good feelings about being at this house, but now he couldn't get their last fight out of his mind. Naruto tried to think about Mikoto.

"Is your dad home?" Naruto asked.

"Probably. Since it's a Sunday." Sasuke opened the car door, and then slammed it.

Naruto was still in his seatbelt, but he unclicked it and got out, too. He followed Sasuke into the house, up the basement steps, and into the kitchen, where Mikoto was cooking something that smelled amazing.

"Mother," said Sasuke.

"Sasuke, you're home already?" She turned around and spotted him. "Naruto! What - " The older Japanese woman looked from her son to him again. "Oh, my! Come here already!"

Naruto, brushing against Sasuke as he passed by, met Mikoto halfway. She enveloped him in her arms, stroking his back and squeezing him breathless.

"Where have you been?" She asked. "Sasuke said you were busy, but you're too busy to call or drop by? What have you been so busy with that you've ignored us? That's so unlike you!"

He held her tightly and set his chin on her shoulder, inexplicably stricken for some reason. It was almost too difficult to get the words out. The thought of lying to her sucked, so he didn't try to answer.

"I'm sorry," he said. "How have you been?"

"Good," Mikoto answered. "What a marvelous surprise. Did Sasuke tell you that I was just asking where you were? And he dragged you all the way from town!"

"It's fine." Naruto's nostrils were filled with her perfume. She smelled so much like… well, like a mom. Like his mom. He didn't want to let go, and he almost didn't trust himself to keep his voice steady if he said much at all right now.

Mikoto took a step back, still holding onto his shoulders. "Look at you. You look so tired. Were you up late last night? Wait, did you go to Sasuke's show?"

"He told you about it?" Naruto asked since Sasuke didn't often mention his shows to his parents given that his dad wasn't always super happy about his son's hobby.

"Well, he told me. We're keeping it a secret from his father, so don't say anything," Mikoto told him, holding her finger to her lips.

"My lips are sealed." He smiled. "So, what's up, what's new with you? What're you cookin'?"

"Will you be staying for dinner? I'm making a cream stew with chicken. It's always great to make during the winter. You're welcome to stay and eat with us. Fugaku would like that, too. He's been asking about you. Just tell him you're hard at work with your studies."

Naruto chuckled. "I'll be sure to do that. I don't know if I'll be stayin' for dinner, but can I… help you with anything?"

"No, no. I have most of it sorted. I've already chopped the vegetables and chicken. They're all in the pot now. You can keep me company while I make some side dishes. Would you like some tea?" She asked. "Sasuke, would you like some, dear?"

"I can make it, mother," said Sasuke, who set about filling the kettle with water. "Naruto, did you want some? I'll get you a mug."

Naruto cleared his throat. "Yeah, sure. That's fine, thanks."

Mikoto returned to the stove, but gestured to the nearby counter. "Hop up and tell okaa-san what you've been up to." She giggled at her own joke. "Is it a new girlfriend keeping you busy?"

"Nope, no girlfriend," he answered carefully, keeping his eyes off Sasuke, who was busy pulling mugs from the a cabinet. "Besides, no girl could compare to you. Kaa-chan."

Mikoto swatted him on his knee. "Don't you flirt with married women, Naruto. You're going to go to college soon, and I want everyone to see the polite young man I see in you."

"Are you sure you don't need glasses?" Sasuke asked her, setting the box of teas (Green, Oolong, and Black since they all three liked different types) on the counter.

"Don't say that about my Naruto," Mikoto scolded her son. "He has far more manners at times than you do, young man." She followed up with something in Japanese that Naruto couldn't follow. Sasuke answered back, and that part he could understand.

"Don't talk to your mother that way," Naruto told him.

"Tch. Since when do you speak Japanese?" Sasuke asked.

"I've been around enough to pick up more than a few phrases. Itachi's taught me some, so has your mom. Even your dad has on occasion." He gripped the edge of the counter, close to sticking out his tongue at him, but managed to hold back.

"Great. Maybe you can put it on your college application."

"That's coming up for you boys, isn't it?" Mikoto asked. "Naruto, have you started preparing to send out applications soon? Are you visiting any colleges?"

"Uh, I'll be visiting one when I go to Illinois," he answered. "It's about an hour northwest of Joliet. A lot of my friends from high school will be going there."

"Do you really think you'll return to Illinois for college?" Mikoto asked, turning to him. "I thought you might stay around here. Seattle University and University of Washington are great state schools. Even Sasuke's thinking of applying there."

"Mother," said Sasuke.

"It's fine," said Naruto. "I'll consider it. I doubt I'll only apply to one school. Maybe Sasuke will change his mind and follow in Itachi's footsteps. Or, he can go to Berkeley like Yahiko did for a while. I'm sure he could go anywhere he wanted to."

Mikoto returned to cooking, and Naruto glanced across the kitchen to find Sasuke leaning against the counter, staring at him. Or, was he glaring?

"What?" He asked.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed further. Apparently a hint he should stop talking about this topic.

"So, what are you thinking of studying?" Mikoto asked.

"Not really sure," Naruto answered. "Business, I guess. That's what dad suggests, and I don't really have much in mind. I think I can get a baseball scholarship if I want to. My grades for this semester kind of suck, though, so we'll see."

"What? What's happened to your grades?" Mikoto asked. "I thought Sasuke was tutoring you."

"Ah, well." Naruto scratched at the back of his head. "They were good last semester, and at the start of this semester… I guess I got distracted in the middle."

"You're going out too much, aren't you? Your studies are very important, Naruto. I hope your dad's also telling you this, and I'm sure he is. Sasuke should be on your case, too."

"Yeah, well…" He didn't finish. Luckily, the kettle went off, and Mikoto bustled about making everyone's tea. When she was done serving them, she stood next to Naruto, sipping from her mug. He felt rather moved that she seemed so happy to see him and talk with him. It had been a good idea to come here, after all. He didn't want to give Sasuke credit for the suggestion, or even to think too deeply about why he'd asked him to come, but it was… nice.

"So, when will you be back?" Mikoto asked.

"The day after Christmas," Naruto replied. "I'll bring you somethin' as a souvenir. You like the Cubs, right? I'll bring you back a World Series sweatshirt."

Mikoto laughed, and she really did have the most amazing laugh. Honestly, if she were younger and not Sasuke and Itachi's mother… oh, and not married. Was there anyone in this family Naruto didn't find completely compelling? Well, there was Fugaku, but he had his moments, too. Marrying him was rather out of the question, needless to say. Although, being stepfather to Itachi and Sasuke could lead to the things sitcoms are made of.

Thinking about it, Naruto started softly laughing to himself.

"Why are you over there laughing to yourself, idiot?" Sasuke asked.

"Sasuke!" Mikoto walked over and swatted him.

"Tch. Like it's any of your business, bastard."

Mikoto went to his side and swatted him next.

"Ow, what was that for?" He cried.

"I know I've taught you boys better than that. That's not how we talk to our friends," she informed them in her mom voice, a hand on her hip. "Especially around the holidays."

He and Sasuke glared at one another, but both took a sip of their tea at the same time.

"Naruto, make sure to say hi to otou-san, too. He's up in the study, doing some work."

"How is he?" Naruto asked. "I mean… is he feelin' a lot better?"

"He is, yes." Mikoto dried her hands on a dish towel. "He didn't cut back on his work hours as much as I wanted - or the doctor wanted - but he's been exercising and is on a special diet."

"That's really good to hear," Naruto said. "I'm glad. Itachi will be home tomorrow. That must make you pretty happy, huh?"

"Of course. Sasuke's volunteered to pick him up from the airport. Fugaku has a meeting, so he'll be home later, and I have piano lessons with a little girl until almost 6."

"I told him I could've picked Itachi up," said Naruto. "It wouldn't have been a problem."

"It's fine. Or, wait. Why don't you go with Sasuke?" Mikoto suggested. "I'm surprised you two didn't think of that!"

"Naruto has something to do," Sasuke cut in before Naruto could say anything.

He couldn't think of a good excuse quickly enough anyway and, again, lying to her seemed completely shitty and he didn't want to have to do it. Didn't surprise him Sasuke was willing to.

"Oh, do you?" Mikoto asked. "Another one of these dates that's getting in the way of your studies?"

"Uh, no," he said. "No date. I promise I'm not seein' anyone."

"Naruto met someone at the concert last night," Sasuke commented, much to his annoyance.

"Did you?" Mikoto asked, immediately picking up on the subject.

"It wasn't anything," he said. "I bumped into the singer of his band beforehand without knowin' who she was. We talked for a while, and she gave me her number. That's all."

"Was she cute?" Mikoto asked.

Naruto bit his lip, avoiding looking at Sasuke. "Yeah. I'd say so."

"She wouldn't be Naruto's usual type," Sasuke remarked, voice so cool and calm that Naruto had to glance at him just to see if he was being serious right now.

Was he being provoked? No. Naruto wouldn't rise to the bait, and, besides, Sasuke had been the one to give him Rin's phone number. If he had an issue with it, he wouldn't have done that. What would be the point? Who would do something like that? A masochist, maybe. Funny, he'd always pegged Sasuke as more of a sadist. Perhaps he was a bit of both.

"It might be time for a change," Naruto said, still looking at him. "My taste in romantic partners hasn't been so great lately. I might give her a call when I come back."

"I think that's a great idea!" Mikoto said cheerfully. "Girls don't give out their numbers lightly."

"Naruto's very popular, mother," said Sasuke. "Not only this girl, but several others at school, and even a date on Tuesday with Itachi."

"You know, Naruto." Mikoto untied her apron and set it on a nearby hook, oblivious to the underlying tension in his and Sasuke's exchanges. "I was just telling Sasuke it might not be so bad if you married into the family, so if you and Itachi hit it off, just know you have my blessing!"

He was so caught off guard by her comment that he started choking on his tea. While Mikoto laughed, and when he finally was able to breathe again, he saw that Sasuke didn't look nearly as amused. Naruto couldn't figure him out today. He came over, bearing gifts from Rin and apparently wanting him to have a chance to see Mikoto before he left, and, yet, he was acting odd now. Like he was jealous. That, or he was simply mocking Naruto for something. It's not like Naruto couldn't dish it back, so it was fine if that's how Sasuke wanted to play.

"I'm pretty sure Itachi can do a lot better than me," Naruto said, trying to keep his tone light. "He should marry someone smart, wealthy, and really good looking."

"You're young yet," Mikoto replied. "You're already very handsome, and I think you're smart when you apply yourself. Wealthy… that's only a matter of time, and money isn't everything."

Naruto burst into a grin. "You're embarrassing me."

"It's true, isn't it? And, if it doesn't work out with Itachi, there's always Sasuke." Mikoto nudged him in the side with her tiny elbow. "How else can I keep you around if I never had a daughter?"

"Heh… if it's you, kaa-chan, I'll come whenever you call. I'm sure Sasuke wants to decide for himself who he marries. His standards," Naruto was looking at him while speaking, "Are very high, I'm sure."

"They must be considering he never brings any girls around," Mikoto added.

Naruto, finding it hilarious that Sasuke just got burned by his own mother, started laughing. It was also because the conversation was just too ridiculous, even for him. What else could he do but laugh? Sasuke, apparently not finding it funny at all, ended up walking out of the kitchen.

"Where are you going?" Mikoto called. "Sasuke? Did I say something wrong?"

Naruto shook his head. "Nah. Probably just had to use the toilet."

"Oh, well, okay then. He doesn't, you know, have a girlfriend he's keeping from us, does he?" Mikoto asked.

"You know I couldn't tell you that," he replied, lifting an eyebrow and taking a final sip of his black tea. "Part of the bro code."

She tsk'd at him. "You can't even tell me if you've seen him show interest in anyone from school?"

"I… thought he was interested in someone once, but I turned out to be wrong." Naruto frowned. "He's a guy, kaa-chan. He's definitely had his crushes, I can assure you that much."

She just didn't need to know that included her oldest son's best friend and a guy who DJs at house parties. Who knows, maybe Yagura should be added to the list.

"He's alway so serious and private. I'm not being nosy so much as I hope that he doesn't spend all of his time studying or doing council work. I have to say," Mikoto smiled at him weakly, "I became a little worried the two of you were fighting when you hadn't been around in weeks."

"He and I might fight sometimes 'cause we're both stubborn." He set the mug on the counter and pushed it toward the sink. "But, he did want me to see you before I left, so I appreciate that."

"Sasuke told me you'll be visiting your mother. Make sure to bring her some flowers, hm?"

"Heh." He had his head bowed, but his gaze rose to her pretty face. "I will, don't worry. It's gonna be nice to talk to her. I mean, I talk to her now, and I know she's not there anymore, but it's still sorta nice… to have a place to go to that's… her."

"I understand." Mikoto came over and put her arms around him. "You know, I bet she loved you so much. And she thinks about you every day. If something ever happened to me, I'd be looking over both of my boys, making sure they didn't get into any trouble."

Naruto hugged her back, getting teary-eyed. "Thanks for sayin' so. Means a lot."

"If you ever want some motherly advice, you can always come to me. I love our talks. Even if there comes a time when you and Sasuke do fight, you're still important to me and always welcome in our home. I often think of you as our third son via the mailman."

Naruto snorted into her shoulder. "I guess if that turns out to be true, wouldn't be a good idea to marry me off to your other sons. I think they only do that in places like Kentucky and Arkansas."

"I imagine it'll be a while before either considers starting a family. They're both serious, just like their father. I'm sure if our parents hadn't pushed us together, he would've waited, too."

"Oh, like an arranged marriage?" Naruto asked. "I didn't know that's how you and Fugaku met."

"We knew each other, but it was our parents who encouraged us to date. Fugaku would want his sons to be happy, and that, for him, includes a family. I'd also love for both Itachi and Sasuke to do what makes them happy. If that includes a family, then wonderful. If not, that's okay, too."

"Itachi's a guy who knows what he wants. He could do anything, really. Sasuke…"

"Do you worry about Sasuke?" Mikoto asked.

"No," he said. "I never worry about Sasuke. I know he's gonna be successful at whatever he does. I just hope he picks the thing that makes him happy, too."

Mikoto pressed her lips to his forehead. "You, too, Naruto. Will you follow whatever path makes you happiest?"

He had to think about it. What did he truly want? Happiness sounded good. Even love sounded nice. However, thinking about love only caused a pain in his chest. It's not that he thought his future necessarily had to be tied to Sasuke, so him having said no to a relationship wasn't the end of the world. It's just that they'd been so tangled up in each other's lives for the past 10 months, he honestly hadn't given thought to much else. So, could he imagine something for himself, including future relationships, that were as meaningful to him as theirs had been?

Maybe. If Sasuke didn't want him, someone else had to, and Naruto needed to be open to it. People got their hearts broken all the time. He was no one special in that regard.

"I guess I have time to figure it out," he said. "Maybe I should, uh, go check on Sasuke. Make sure he didn't fall in."

"Are you sure you don't want to stay for dinner?"

"I… really don't think so." He, stepping away, grabbed his mug and washed it out in the sink. "And you said Fugaku is up in the study? I'll drop in and say hello before I go find Sasuke."

"He'd love that, dear." Mikoto returned to the stove, stirring her stew.

It smelled so good, Naruto almost regretted not promising to stay. He had a feeling it wouldn't be a smart idea. After he said hello to Sasuke's dad, he'd have a few words with Sasuke in private, and then try to grab the bus home in case it was going to snow again soon.

Sasuke, his temper getting the best of him, retreated to his bedroom in the hopes of clearing his head. He didn't know how to handle this Naruto who wanted nothing to do with him. For some reason, he'd imagined Naruto softening up more upon seeing his mother, although her topics of conversation weren't exactly helping.

Throwing himself across his bed, he put on his headphones and scrolled through his phone to to see if any photos had been posted from last night. Rin had sent him several messages, too, so to be polite, he responded. According to the comments he read, the show had been a success. He'd felt confident last night, so at least he could say he'd put all of his effort into it. It was good experience for him, to sing on stage. Now he'd understand where vocalists were coming from (when they acted temperamental like Yagura did at times).

He must've dozed off for a while because, next he opened his eyes, Naruto was standing near the bed. Sasuke, slipping off his headphones, thought he was dreaming in those three hazy seconds it took to realize he'd fallen asleep in the first place.

"What are you doing?" He asked, shifting up in the bed to lean against the headboard.

"I'm taking off," said Naruto. "It was nice talking to your mom, and I dropped in on your dad so I could bug him about stuff. Glad to see he's doing better."

"You're not staying for dinner?"

"Why would I?" Naruto asked, his expression and voice like steel.

Sighing, Sasuke got to his feet, Naruto stepping out of his way as if he'd hate for their bodies to make contact. He went to shut the door. Turning around, he saw Naruto had his arms crossed.

"It's for privacy," he said. "Not because I'm trapping you here."

"Don't worry. There's not a part of me that thinks you'd want that anyway."

"Can you cut me a little slack?" He asked, growing irritated with him. "I only wanted you to see her before you took off. It's not like I lured you here with the intention of molesting you."

Naruto laughed out loud. "Yeah, right. Like that's ever gonna happen again."

Sasuke approached him. "Good. Then, can I assume that means you're over me, and I can also move on? I won't have to worry about hurting your feelings when I have my one-night stands."

That wasn't necessary, but he'd been putting up with this since last night. Dammit. He expected Naruto to get angry and yell at him, but the blond only smirked.

"You can do what you want," said Naruto. "I've got my own options. I've always had other options besides you, so good thing I took the opportunity to explore them, huh?"

"You know, even if my words with you were harsh that day, what with my father spitting up blood and going to the emergency room, you could at least accept that I was being honest."

"If you're trying to get me to feel pity for you," Naruto replied. "I already do. I've already accepted your decision, but that doesn't mean I have to think of you the way I used to."

"How's that?" He asked.

"Like a friend, obviously." Naruto's arms fell to his sides, and he wedged his hands into his back pockets.

"I didn't know you were so fickle," Sasuke remarked.

"How am I fickle?" Naruto took a step closer, which caused Sasuke's heart rate to spike just enough to give him hope that this would lead to a fight.

Fighting was a lot better than being ignored.

"It's only been a few weeks. Is that all it took to move on?"

"What's it to you?" Naruto asked. "I don't get why you care so much."

"I don't."

"Tell me somethin' I didn't already know."

"Alright," he said. "So when we see each other at school, shall we continue ignoring each other?"

"Is there a reason to do it any differently? I can be civil." Naruto shrugged. "But, I'm not gonna pretend everything between us is cool."

"What is it you're most upset about?" He asked.

"Again, that stuff isn't your business anymore. I only came to say goodbye."

It was the way Naruto said goodbye that caused Sasuke to reflexively catch him by the arm as he tried walking to the door.

"Let go."

Sasuke didn't. "Naruto."

"What? Why do you keep tryin' to corner me - "

"I am not trying to corner you," he argued, digging his fingers in deeper.

"Then what is it you want?" Naruto asked angrily. "I hate even being in your room because the last time I was here, you fuckin' broke my heart. I hate you bein' vague about what's goin' on between us right now, and that you still haven't apologized. I don't get why you brought me that shirt or Rin's number, why you walked away when we were in the kitchen, or why you're acting like you expect me to just get over this like I had to every other time you made me feel like shit about myself. So, what? Tell me what it is you want from me, Sasuke. You're so smart, right? You'd think it'd be a lot easier for you to articulate whatever the fuck is goin' on in that head of yours. I'm tired of havin' to tell myself that's just who you are, because it's really not fair to me. So, yeah, pardon me if I'm doin' what I can to move on when you're the one who made it clear you don't want me. That me bein' honest with how I felt meant I was makin' you choose between me and your family. Like, really? It's not as if you acted like you had a problem with knowing my feelings when we were in bed afterward. Sure as fuck didn't seem you were opposed to a relationship until it occurred to me last night that you really will screw around with anyone who's willing, regardless of the consequences. I trusted you, asshole!"

Sasuke, more shaken than he would've expected to be, watched Naruto stand there while his chest rose and fell with his heavy breathing. He didn't know where to start. Usually he had a solution at the ready, could talk himself out of any situation, or he knew how to control Naruto's temper, but this was a Naruto he didn't recognize. It was also a Naruto he'd created. He'd done this. He'd made Naruto bitter and angry because he'd not bothered to give him an explanation or apology. There was no justification for it if he claimed that they were friends.

At least now he knew Naruto did share the same image Yagura had painted of him last night. Use him? Was that possible? For sex? Well, they'd never had sex, but everything else… no. It wasn't true. Everything up until October meant something to him. What changed in October was knowing how far he'd go to keep Naruto at his side.

"What?" Naruto asked. "Nothing to say for yourself? Because it's all true?"

Sasuke cleared his throat. "...It's true I didn't offer you an explanation or apology. I won't blame you for ignoring me either - "

"I'd fucking like to think not," Naruto said. "I didn't do anything wrong. There is nothing wrong with loving someone, nothing wrong with telling you, especially when you made me believe - "

"What?" He asked. "What did I make you believe?"

Naruto's eyes narrowed. "That you felt the same. Or, you at least felt something for me the entire time we were screwing around and spending all that time together."

"Does that mean you also had feelings for me while you were dating other people?"

"I dated other people because you said you didn't want to date! You're the one who first suggested putting boundaries between us, and 10 seconds later, you were all over me!"

"That's a lie," said Sasuke. "You dated them because you wanted to."

"Uh, yeah. Why would I date someone I didn't want to date?" Naruto asked. "That's stupid, and I made sure we talked about it. I always told you I don't screw around on the people I'm with, and that means in a relationship with, which is something you didn't and clearly still don't want. You can't have it both ways, Sasuke, and I let you up until now. I'm not your fuck buddy anymore."

"It was never like that," he said. "And if that's what you think, you don't know me at all."

"Is that supposed to hurt my feelings? Because I already knew from what you said to me that morning that you might as well have been a stranger."

"I was angry," Sasuke replied. "Everyone was keeping secrets from me, starting with you making out by the pond with Yahiko - "

"Oh my God, that is such bullshit!" Naruto yelled. "You think I care about Yahiko? Because we knew each other for three hours and I asked him to do me a favor because, oh gosh, I was fucking trying to figure out why you were all I ever thought about? Sorry that I was born heterosexual, so it didn't immediately click with me that I was in love with my best guy friend!"

"Would you keep your voice down?" Sasuke glared.

Naruto rolled his eyes. "This has gone on long enough anyways. We're never gonna see eye to eye. Thanks for Rin's number. I'll be sure to give her a call so we can hang out when I get back."

"Good. That's why I gave it to you."

Naruto shook his head. "I hope you regret this later on, Sasuke."

Sasuke gave him a long look before replying, "I already have many things I regret, Naruto."

"Awesome." Naruto shoved past him, knocking into his shoulder as he went to open the door.

Just as he did, his mother let out a surprised yelp as if she'd been right outside the door.

"Sorry," she said. "I heard some shouting, so I wanted to - "

"Sorry, Mrs. Uchiha, but I have to get going," Naruto said in a cold tone. He'd caught her in his arms, so he quickly made sure she was upright before ghosting past.

His mother stared at Naruto's back and then at Sasuke.

"What happened?" She asked anxiously. "Were you fighting? You were so loud I'm surprised your father didn't come down the stairs!"

"It's nothing, mother." He stayed in the doorway, watching Naruto until he was gone from sight. It was almost like a repeat of that morning.

"Should I go get him?" She asked. "Sasuke! Don't let him leave angry!"

"There's nothing I can do." Sasuke, feeling light-headed, had to lean against the doorframe for support.

"What do you mean? Aren't you two friends? He's practically like a brother to you."

"I only have one brother," Sasuke said, turning cold eyes on her. "And you'll just have to deal with the fact Naruto won't be around anymore. So, please don't ask about him again."

"What?" Mikoto looked positively shocked. "Sasuke!"

Sasuke, feeling like he'd had his heart ripped out of his chest, drew back into the darkness of his room, not caring that he shut the door in his mother's face. He locked it, wanting privacy. He was tired of talking about Naruto, thinking about him, and being made to feel like a villain. Yes, it was a bad decision. It was all a bad decision because he was careless with people's feelings.

His mother knocked on the door. "Sasuke? Sweetie. Open the door. We can talk about it."

He didn't answer. Instead, he grabbed his headphones and collapsed on top of the bed. He pulled one of his pillows over his head as if hit would help block out everything. Naruto was right, he didn't have the skills that the blond did when it came to apologizing or navigating situations like this that dealt with… feelings and emotions. Naruto had always been the one to approach every conflict they'd had with each other head-on. It was him who smoothed out those silly fights they'd had before, the ones that seemed so stupid in comparison to this. What is it he'd expected? For them to go back to friends like they had been? Putting the physical stuff aside, had he not realized he'd broken Naruto's trust, the thing most important to either of them?

Naruto wasn't wrong… other than to say that night meant nothing to him. That none of it had ever meant anything to him, or that he didn't… that he didn't love him. It's just he didn't know how to say it or show it… or reciprocate it in a way that didn't make him feel as if his entire world would fall apart, or that would be fair to Naruto if he couldn't come out.

He turned up the volume on the random playlist he'd chosen, once again mocked by the universe with its choice of songs.

What if I said I would break your heart?
What if I said I have problems that made me mean?

Like an idiot, he started to cry. It really felt like it was over. Everything he'd had with Naruto, he'd destroyed it with his own hands and pushed him away. Sasuke hated himself. He hated himself because he knew that it wasn't Naruto's fault. None of it was, it was him, because he was afraid to stand up to his father, afraid to come out, afraid of what would happen if they did get together. He was just as likely to screw everything up if they really did date because he was always sabotaging the things in his life that meant anything.

Why did life have to be like this? Why did a simple choice feel like life or death? Why was he willing to give Naruto to someone else for the sake of his pride? He knew he didn't deserve him. He'd always known, and yet… he wanted him. Because he was selfish and small and terrible. Because Naruto had been there, making him feel like he could be part of that light. Now, he was shut out from it entirely. Now that Naruto had seen his true self.

Sasuke, with a growl of frustration, rolled over onto his other side and stared at the clock on the bedside table, growing angrier with himself and everyone else who'd made him feel caged in somehow. It was so frustrating! None of it was in his control! Grabbing the clock, he ripped it free of the outlet as he sat up in bed, staring at it and the wall on the other side of the room. Surely his parents would yell if he broke it. That wasn't like him. He had to be perfect and reasonable and sane and not cause problems for anyone. For those reasons alone, he threw it so hard that it shattered into tiny pieces across his dresser and floor.

He sunk down into the bed again, feeling relief. There was a knock at the door, but he ignored it.

Sasuke rolled over onto his side and adjusted his headphones, turning the volume up higher.

I want love to grab my fingers gently
Slam them in a doorway, put my face into the ground.

Instead of thinking about everything Naruto might do while angry and away from Seattle for a week, Sasuke tried to think of the new freedom being apart from him offered.

Yeah, I want love to change my friends to enemies,
Change my friends to enemies and show me how it's all my fault.

It's not as if he'd screw around just for the sake of revenge, but now there was absolutely no reason to feel guilty if he felt like partying with Yagura, or basically doing whatever the fuck he wanted, whenever the fuck he wanted to do it.

TBC

Don't forget to review about the chapter.
Interludes coming up next:
Itachi & Naruto's date
Sasuke & Itachi
Main!Sasuke & Dream!Naruto