Disclaimer: Dang, what's a girl gotta do to own Victorious around here?
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"Hey, Trina, have you seen Jade…"
"Not now, Katherine," the oldest Vega sister shouted at me before running towards the cafeteria.
I managed to stutter a 'It's Cat' before she disappeared around the corner. I looked at her form running away. "Well alright, talk to you later!" I called after her, trying not to hold a grudge. Grudges never got me anywhere.
She didn't respond. I waited for the next person to approach. Dad.
"Hi!" I waved.
He sheepishly waved his hand and flashed a toothy grin. "Sup, Cat?"
"Ooh! One time, I asked my brother 'sup' and he thought I said supper and he knocked me over when he ran towards the kitchen and I fell down the stairs and got a bruise on the top of my head!" I recalled.
Stories were fun. Especially when they were true.
He smiled again, kind of… Afraid? "That's… Nice."
I heard the five minute warning bell in its usual chimes. "Well, bye!" I said, picking up my flute. I decided to pick that as my instrument. It was so… Pretty.
"Wait, Cat!" he grabbed my arm.
It seemed like grabbing my arm was the universal language.
"Whatty?" I asked.
"Would you, uh… Would you wanna go out sometime?" he asked nervously.
I felt my mind freeze. My mind is broken. Good. Nothing else can function properly. I casually set my flute and backpack on the ground. I continued to place both of my hands on my diaphragm. I then let out the most obnoxious laugh that I could muster. I couldn't stop. I just laughed until I felt like I couldn't breathe and I had to pee.
He stared at me for a whole minute before sighing and turning away. I grabbed his arm this time. "Wait!"
"What?" he snapped.
"You don't wanna go out with me," I stated simply.
"And what? Do you share my brain?" he asked bitterly.
"I know more than you think," I stated slyly.
"Yeah, you're weird and I'm leaving," he shook his head.
I grabbed his arm again. Wow, that really works. "Nope!"
I pulled him into the janitor's closet and pulled on the light switch. I immediately shielded my eyes and I vaguely saw him do it too. It was extremely brighter than usual.
"Turn it off!" I screamed at him. I felt his arms wrap around me protectively. I hated bright lights. I saw one before I was… Teleported here? I'm really not sure what the whole unnatural process is called, but there were a lot of scary lights.
"I'm trying!" he screamed back.
I beat him to the punch and pulled on the switch. The whole room instantly went black again. I breathed a sigh of relief along with him.
"I'm leaving now," he said once he recovered, unwrapping his arms around me.
I couldn't see him in the darkness so I just leaned myself up against the door, knowing that was the only exit.
"Cat…" he said cautiously.
"Are you honestly gonna look at me and tell me that you wanna go out with me?" I asked.
"How can I do that when I can't see you?" he mumbled.
I suddenly remembered what I had brought with me today. "One sec," I told him as I rooted around in my bag. As promised, one second later I had on my bright pink coal miner's hat. I flicked on the light and he shielded his eyes again. "Ooh!" I remembered another thing. I pulled out my humongous pink sunglasses and handed them to him.
He put them on slowly. I refrained from laughing at the sight. Oh yeah. Dad could really pull off that look.
He reached out his hand and touched the hard hat. "Why do you have this?"
"It was two percent off with my lava lamp," I explained. "Now," I focused on the main topic. "You can't look at me and say that you actually wanna go out with me."
"And what makes you think that?" he asked stubbornly.
"Because I'm not Jade," I said, sporting a Cheshire grin.
"I broke up with Jade," he replied, sticking his thumbs in his pockets.
"Jade broke up with you," I corrected.
"Well hey, if we're gonna play 'Dump On Beck' I also should mention that I have a gnarly big toe," he added sarcastically.
"It's not gnarly. It's unique," I said, trying to cheer him up. He wasn't impressed. I reached up my hand and poked his cheek lightly.
"Poking my face for a reason?" he asked, annoyed.
"Just making sure you were alive," I responded.
He looked at me for a second. "So Jade broke up with me. She ripped it off like waxing an alligator. She doesn't care anymore."
"You know she still loves you," I stated. It wasn't sympathy. It was the truth. If they didn't still love each other, then there would be no point in me existing.
"No she doesn't. We were voted the worst couple and we were the only couple. I… Screwed her up somehow," he replied.
"Aw…" I mocked. "Let's throw a pity party!" I reached into my bag and pulled out my bottle of glitter. I tossed some all throughout the room.
He looked at me one last time. There was pain in his eyes. He wordlessly reached for the doorknob and let himself out. He didn't give me back my glasses. Eh. Someone would tell him.
I looked at Mr. Purple's head sticking out of my bag. I kissed him, knowing the dramatic scene that he just witnessed would traumatize him. "It's okay. He's just living in The Nile."
One parent now self-conscious. One more to go.