Numb

by ITgwendolendragon

Matilda Tauscher has always been more masculine than she has been feminine. She's never liked wearing dresses, playing with dolls, or helping her mother cook. She'd much rather wear pants, play baseball, and help her dad out in the yard, so it came as no surprise to anyone when she joined the US Airborne in 1942. But how long can she handle it? How long before it breaks her? Roe/OC

2. Down

A/N - This is going well, I think. I really like the way this is turning out. I hope you guys do, too. Please R&R.

Disclaimer - This is done for entertainment purposes only, I have nothing but respect for the men who fought in the second world war. I own nothing but Matilda.

0-0-0-0-0

"You needed stitches and everything?" Chuck Grant asked, peering down at my bandaged leg in surprise, "Jeez, I didn't know it was that bad."

I shrugged and peered down my leg myself, "Neither did I."

"You've already been wounded and we haven't jumped out of an airplane yet," George Luz said as he took off his boots and prepared to relax for the rest of the evening, "Could only happen to you, Matt."

"Can it, Luz," I snapped, and he just laughed as he set one boot to the side.

"Don't worry, Matt, I'm pretty sure I sprained my ankle after falling on my ass hopping through that rope," Muck said, putting ice on his ankle as he laid back on his bed.

"See, I'm not the only one," I said, motioning to Muck.

"Muck's one unlucky son of a bitch, don't you know?" Luz smiled, looking over at me with his charming gaze, "He's always falling down and hurtin' himself. It's in his nature."

"Luz, is it your daily goal to have somebody hit you?" Muck asked, glaring over at Luz irritably.

Luz sent Muck a fake pout, "I thought this was charming?"

Muck scoffed and rolled his eyes, and I did the same as Luz just smiled and peeled his sweaty PT shirt off. I quickly averted my eyes, not wanting to look at him or any of the other men who were doing the same thing, afraid I might blush at such a sight and then I'd get constant teasing.

"The only thing charming about you Luz is your ability to be a complete moron," I remarked, unlacing my boots now, "Dumb girls into that."

Some of the other guys snickered at that and George only smiled, "What would we do without you, Tauscher."

"You'd become bored out of your mind from the lack of humor around here," I said, taking off my other boot now, "Cause God knows you've got nothing to offer."

"Jeez," Muck whistled, peering over at Luz, "He's two for two on the night."

Luz finally got a clean shirt over his head and he stretched his arms over his head, "Well, it's only because he needs to cover up that he's actually more of a woman on the inside than he is a man."

I froze a little bit at that remark, but quickly recovered, realizing he was only joking, "Luz, seriously, I'm about to rip out your tongue."

"Ouch. Harsh," George said, narrowing his eyes at me playfully, "I think you're startin' to get a little grouchy, why don't you go on off to bed? Lord knows if you don't get your sleep you're a complete asshole."

"Takes one to know one, Luz," I replied, but I also nodded in agreement. I was extremely tired, I guess turning in a little early wouldn't hurt nobody. We were finished with our drills for the day, apparently Sobel had something he needed to take care of with Lieutenant Winters, "But you're right, I'll hit the hay a little early tonight. I'm beat."

"You're beat? You didn't run Currahee today, you lazy shit," Malarkey suddenly spoke up as he walked into the barracks.

"Hey, Private Bullshit," I called out, fondly using the nickname Sobel has been calling him by, "I was injured, remember?"

"Didn't stop Muck," Malarkey replied, but I just sent him an annoyed glare.

"Muck wasn't bleeding all over his damn trousers," I snapped back, subconsciously rubbing my wounded leg.

Malarkey held up his hands in defense of my harsh tone, "Alright, alright, no need to get all bent out of shape about it, I was just kiddin' around, jeez... I think George is right, you should get some sleep. You're an asshole when you're tired."

I rolled my eyes, "Well, I could get some sleep if all you idiots would shut up for five minutes."

"Alright, fine," George said, playfully glaring at me, "We'll shut up. I think I might actually turn in early myself."

"Yeah, me too," Muck said, stretching, "I think Sobel had something up his ass today."

"He doesn't everyday?" I remarked and George smiled, Muck just shrugging in agreement.

"Alright, you crybabies," Malarkey said, going over to his footlocker, "Get some sleep, I'm going out."

"Where are you going?" Chuck asked, raised an eyebrow.

"It's Saturday, boys," Malarkey said with a smile, "We don't got no drills tomorrow, so I'm going out and I'm getting good and drunk."

"I'm in," Chuck said, standing from where he was on his bed and going to his footlocker too, looking for his dress uniform.

"It'd be real funny if Sobel came in at five o'clock tomorrow morning, and woke you two asshats up," I said, laying back on my bed and putting my arms behind my head, closing my eyes.

Chuck and Malarkey shared an amused look and then looked back to me, Chuck saying, "Asshats?"

I smirked, but didn't open my eyes to look at them, "Yeah, I came up with it just now."

Chuck nodded in approval, smirking a tight lipped grin, "It's good. That's funny."

"Thank you, Chucky," I said to him as I heard the two boys go through their foot locker.

I heard the two mumbling about something, but I couldn't make out what they were saying. I kept my eyes closed and slowly drifted off into a nice and well deserved sleep.
0-0-0-0-0
One week later, we all sat in the mess hall, eating spaghetti. It wasn't great, but I had gotten used to Army food by now. I was shoveling the food into my mouth quickly, enjoying my meal. I was sitting at the table with Bill and Perconte, and Frank was just complaining up a storm.

"This stuff is orange," One of the other men said, looking down at his noodles in what seemed like disgust, "Spaghetti ain't supposed to be orange."

"This ain't spaghetti," Frank said with a shrug of his shoulders, a noodle hanging out of his mouth, "It's army noodles with ketchup."

"You ain't gotta eat it," Bill said as he sat down next to Frank as I remained silent, just watching on in amusement.

"Oh, come on, Gonorrhea," Frank said, looking down at his plate, "As a fellow Italian you should know that calling this crap spaghetti is a mortal sin."

I snickered and shoved another forkful into my mouth as Hoobler reached over from the table behind Frank and tried taking his plate, "You don't want it, I'll have it."

"No, no, I'm eating here," Frank defended, elbowing Hoobler away.

"Hey, get outta here," Bill said, elbowing the man as well and sending him a sharp glare.

"Spaghetti don't taste so bad now then, does it, Frank?" I asked with a smirk and he just glared at me.

"Shut up," He said and I snickered again, shoveling more food into my mouth.

A whistle blew and it alarmed pretty much everybody in the mess hall. We all looked up, spaghetti noodles hanging from some of our mouths as Captain Herbert Sobel marched into the room, a look of pure determination and pride on his face. I wanted to smack him so bad at the words that came out of his mouth.

"Get up!" He cried and everybody stood at attention, "Passes are cancelled! Easy Company is running up Currahee! Move! Move!"

Bill slumped his shoulders and shot me a look that said 'really?'. I sighed through my nose and finished chewing the food that was in my mouth as Easy quickly filed out of the mess hall. Sobel yelled behind us, "Three miles up, three miles down! Hi ho silver!"
0-0-0-0-0
Hoobler was throwing up already, sweat making his dark hair stick to his forehead. Sobel was right behind him, yelling insults into his ear, "You're a washout, Private Hoobler! You should pack up those ears and go home!"

I so badly wanted to smack this man in the face, maybe even sock him in the jaw. But I didn't feel like being sent home and dishonorably discharged, so I sucked up my anger and continued to run, trying to avoid Sobel's angry glare he sent my way.

The man hated me. It must of been because I was the smallest of the Easy men, he thought I was too weak to be cut out for the Army. He's told me I should of joined the nurses at the hospitals instead, I would've been of better use there with all the 'other' women.

I swallowed thickly as another wave of nausea washed over me, trying my best to keep the contents on my stomach down. It was becoming increasingly difficult.

"Private Randleman, you look tired!" Sobel yelled in the large man's ear, "There's an ambulance waiting for you at the bottom of the hill! It could all be over right now! No more pain! No more Currahee! No more Captain Sobel!"

I spit onto the side of the path, getting the foul taste out of my mouth as I tried not to vomit. Sobel saw me spit and ran over to run beside me, "What's the matter, Private Tauscher?! Are your weak muscles and brittle bones starting to get the best of you?! Maybe you should join the rest of the women down at the local hospital! God knows they need some more nurses!"

"We pull upon the risers, we fall upon the grass," George started to sing in reply to Sobel's constant yelling. I guess he was getting just as tired of it as I was; a few more of the men joined in on his singing, "We never land upon our feet we always hit our ass."

"Highty tighty, Christ o'mighty, who the hell are we?" Most of the men sang, and I joined in on the last verse, singing right into Sobel's ear, "Zim zam, God damn, we're Airborne Infantry."

We repeated the song as we continued down the path, leaving Captain Sobel behind, watching us with incredible disbelief. I tried to hide the smile at the look on his face, but once we were past him, it broke across my face. I cast a glance to Frank who was running next to me, looking exhausted himself, but he smiled at me as well and then we both turned our attention back to the front of us, continuing our run down Currahee and going on with singing the song that somehow incapacitated Sobel.
0-0-0-0-0
I was throwing up horribly right outside the barracks, Hoobler was behind me, patting my back awkwardly, trying to help out as Grant stood next to him, holding a towel.

"You alright, Mattie?" Grant asked, looking down at me in concern.

I spit on the ground and then angrily got out, "I hate that son of bitch."

"Don't we all?" Bill's voice suddenly spoke as he walked up behind us.

I peered up at him, drool hanging from my mouth, my skin extremely pale, sweat coating my forehead, and my eyes looking tired.

"Jesus, ya look like shit," Bill said, wiping his own forehead of sweat, "That run really got ta ya, huh?"

"Don't worry, Matt, I was pretty confident I wasn't going to make it down that hill today," Hoobler said, giving me a sympathetic look, "But good 'ol Georgey Luz knows how to put the spirit back in a man."

George did help us all through that run. The way he started singing at the right time, and the look on Captain Sobel's face... That was enough for us all to make it down that hill in one piece.

I gagged again and heaved and then I threw up once again. Hoobler patted my back supportively, but he watched me with disgust, "Are you going to be okay?" He asked.

I flapped my hand around and caught my breath, spitting on the ground again, "I'll be fine."

My voice sounded strained and tired, I looked like hell. Bill shook his head and grabbed my arm, pulling me into a standing position, though I was so tired I was practically hunched over. When Bill saw my face he gave me sympathetic, but mostly annoyed look.

"Jesus Christ, Matt. I think ya should go ta a hospital," Bill told me, his protectiveness for me coming out a little bit.

I shook my head and swallowed thickly, wincing at the pain in my belly, "I'm fine, Bill. I'm just sick from the spaghetti, that's all. I'll be fine in the-"

Then I heaved and threw up again, right on Bill's boots.

"God dammit!" He cried, throwing his arms up, "That's it! I'm going ta go and talk ta Lieutenant Winters about gettin' ya ta a doctor."

I shook my head and tightened my grip of Bill's arm, "No, Bill! I'm fine, just... Just let me get my bearings and then... And then I can, I can..."

"Ya can't even string a sentence togetha'," Bill said, shaking his head.

"I'm just tired, is all," I protested further and Bill glared at me.

"This is gettin' on my nerves," Bill said, grabbing my arm and hoisting me up again, "Will ya at least go and see Doc?"

I nodded, "Fine, if it makes you happy. Just don't take me to a hospital, I'm not that sick."

Bill nodded and looked up at the boys, Grant speaking up, "You need some help, Gonorrhea?"

Bill shook his head, "No, I've got him."

Grant nodded and then looked down at me, "Hurry up and get better there, Mattie. We need you around getting our asses motivated. Luz needs a little help sometimes, he can't do it all on his own."

I nodded, "I'll try, Chuck."

"Get better," Hoobler said, giving me a smack on the back as I went past with Bill.

Bill walked me to the path and we started towards the Aid Station. I was stumbling along, just wanting to sleep at this moment, the nausea still hanging around. I sighed in sleepiness as me and Bill went along down the path, I was leaning heavily against him.

Bill kept sending me cautious looks, making sure I wasn't going to throw up on him again. He looked down at his boots and groaned irritably, "Jesus... Sobel's prob'ly gunna revoke my weekend pass 'cause ya threw up on my boots."

"I'm sorry, Bill," I said tiredly, trying to keep my eyes open.

He gave me a look, seeming almost worried for me. He put a hand to my forehead and then pulled it back, sucking in a sharp breath through his teeth, "Jeez, yer burnin' up. What the hell happened? Ya were fine earlier."

"I guess spaghetti mixed with running six miles sent me into this God awful sickness," I complained, though I was trying to come off as joking, but my voice was too strained for it to sound that way. I winced as another bout of pain soured through my stomach, making me place a hand there, "God... You think Doc has anything to help with this?"

"Prob'ly," Bill nodded, "Doc's always got somethin' ta help. He neva' lets ya down, that's the kinda guy he is."

"Why doesn't he run Currahee with us all the time?" I asked curiously, stumbling alongside my best friend.

"Cause they want him ta focus more on his medical studies than combat related things," Bill shrugged, "I mean, he has ta run sometimes, like he did earlier, because he'll be doin' a lot a that when we finally go ta Europe, but they want ta know what the hell he's doin' too. We don't need no fluke medic out there on the field when people are bleedin' out, you know?"

I nodded in understanding, "Yeah, I guess you're right."

"I'm Bill Guarnere," Bill smiled cockily, looking down at me, "I'm always right."

I finally cocked a smile and weakly smacked at his arm, "You're also an idiot."

"It rubbed off on me from hangin' round you so much as a kid," Bill joked, nudging me with his elbow, and I smiled.

"Shut up," I smiled, trying my best to walk with him, easing up the weight on his shoulder.

We walked on in silence for the rest of the way, neither of us having much to say. Bill did pipe up once about how I needed a haircut, my hair had begun to cover my ears. It usually didn't, I usually kept it pretty well kempt, but with all the running we did today it had become a mess.

We finally made it to the Aid Station, thank God, and Bill walked me into the room quickly, calling out, "Doc! We got one for ya!"

Ralph Spina looked up from where he was fiddling with something in a box, and he smiled at Bill when he saw him, "Whatcha got, Bill?" Then he saw me leaning against his tiredly and he frowned, "Jesus. Ya a'right, kid?"

I waved him off, "I'm fine, Ralph, just feeling a bit ill."

He watched me cautiously and then he moved forward to help Bill, "Here, let me have him."

Bill carefully handed me off to Ralph and I felt Ralph's gentle hands on my shoulders as he led me to a cot. I sat down immediately, feeling relieved to me off my feet and I sighed as I relaxed against the cot.

"What happened?" I heard Ralph ask Bill as I closed my eyes, just wanting to get some rest.

"He's been gettin' sick ever since we all ran Currahee earlier," Bill explained, "He's runnin' a fever an' everything. I think he's comin' down with somethin'."

Ralph nodded and looked back at me with a concerned frown, "Alright. I'll take a look, see what I can do for the kid."

Bill nodded, "Alright, thanks Spina," Bill looked over Ralph's shoulder at me and offered me a smile, "You better not be too sick to start that jump trainin' tomorrow."

I smiled and waved him off, "If you ever leave me alone and I can get some sleep, maybe I will be."

"A'right, a'right, I'm goin'," Bill said, waving to me then looking to Ralph, "See ya round, Spina."

"See ya, Bill," Then Bill left the Aid Station and headed back to the barracks to be with the other men, and probably to clean off his boots.

Ralph came back over to me and I felt him put a hand to my forehead, making me open my eyes. He looked at me with concern as he pulled his hand away, "You are runnin' a fever."

"Just get me something to help with this throwing up, Ralph," I pleaded, just wanting to lay down and take a nap.

Ralph nodded and looked towards the shelf behind him on the wall, "Well, let's see here," He walked over to the shelf and searched for some medicine, pulling down several bottles and looking at the labels, he put several of them back and then brought one of them over to me, "This should do the trick."

"What is it?" I asked curiously, gazing at the white bottle with the yellow label.

"It'll help with the nausea," Ralph explained, "Maybe even with the fever. It don't hurt to try, eh?"

I shrugged, "I guess not."

Ralph then opened a drawer to his right and searched around for something, then he pulled out a spoon and opened the lid to the medicine. I winced as he poured out the liquid onto the spoon.

"Ugh, it's a liquid?" I complained. I always preferred pills over liquid, they never made me gag.

"Yep. Sorry," Ralph said, put the bottle down and looking up into my eyes.

"Why is it brown?" I asked him in disgust.

Ralph looked down at it and shrugged, "I guess all those doctors just wanna warn ya how unappealing the taste is going ta be, ta prepare ya."

I sighed as he nudged the spoon towards me, "Open up."

I mentally prepared myself and then did as he told me and he shoved the foul tasting medicine into my mouth. I swallowed it quickly and sputtered and coughed. That might of been the worst tasting shit I've ever tasted.

"Jesus Christ!" I coughed, wincing and shivering at the taste.

Ralph looked curiously at the label and hummed, "It says it's supposed to taste like chocolate."

"Bullshit!" I snapped, trying to figure out what to do. Do I spit, ask for water? "That shit tastes like the bottom of Muck's shoe, and who knows where the hell he's been!"

Ralph chuckled and screwed the top back onto the medicine before he said, "Well, that woke you right up."

"You think?!" I cried, wiping my eyes of tears as the foul taste refused to leave me be.

Ralph went back to put the medicine on the shelf, and when he came back over to me, he sat down on a stool and grabbed my leg. I furrowed my brow at him curiously, wondering what it was he was doing.

"What the hell are you doing now?" I asked him, wiping my mouth with my sleeve.

"I told Doc that when I saw ya next I'd check yer stitches," Ralph explained, looking down at my leg, "They look good, no redness around the area at all. Won't be long and we can prob'ly take them out."

"Well, that's good," I said, gazing down as he prodded at my leg with gentle hands, my eyes tired.

"That's real good," Ralph said, then he was quiet for a moment.

I looked around for a moment, wondering where Doc was. He was usually here. Maybe he'd gone to take a shower after running up Currahee. Before I had time to ask Ralph about it, he spoke up.

"So how long ya gunna keep this up?" Ralph asked, garnering my attention back to him. He still wasn't looking up at me, he was just examining my leg with the upmost concentration on his face.

I furrowed my brow curiously at him, "Keep what up?"

Ralph looked up at me now, giving me a look of disbelief, "You know what."

I was confused, so I chuckled nervously, trying to figure out what he was going on about, "Ralph, what the hell are you talking about?"

"I'm talking 'bout yer masqueradin', Matt" Ralph said and I froze, suddenly feeling scared and nervous, "What is yer real name anyway?"

I gulped nervously and without a response to Ralph, he looked up at me and saw the look on my face. He then smiled a small smile to reassure me, "Don't worry. I ain't gunna tell nobody."

I found that hard to believe, I don't know why.

"So, what is it then?" Ralph asked, "Tammy? Lily? Martha?" Ralph then eyes me curiously and a moment later he shook his head, "Neh, ya don't look like a Martha."

"It's-" I swallowed thickly, not sure what to do; my fingers were gripping the edge of the cot so tightly my knuckles were white, "It's Matilda."

"Matilda," Ralph said, testing the way it sounded on his tongue, then he smiled and nodded, "Yeah, I can see that. So what made ya want ta join the paratroopers? I am assumin' that's why yer doin' all of this."

He was so casual about this, as if it didn't even faze him.

"You can't tell anybody, Ralph! They'd kick me out!" I suddenly cried, trying to stand, but a wave of dizziness washed over and caused me to sit right back down.

"Relax, I ain't gunna tell nobody," Ralph said, sending me a look as if I were crazy, "I like ya, why would I wanna get rid of ya so soon?"

"How'd you find out?" I asked quickly, not giving him any time to prepare for it.

He looked at me for a moment, then he simply said, "The utha day I was walking back ta the barracks because I put on the wrong damn boots, and I saw 'adjusting' in the mirror."

I blushed at his implication and closed my eyes, throwing my head in my hands, "Oh my God."

Ralph laughed at me and relaxed in his seat, "Don't worry, I didn't see nothing. It really didn't surprise me all that much, ta be honest. You've always been a little feminine for a guy."

"Does anybody else know?" I asked him, finally peering at through my fingers.

Ralph shrugged, "Well, Bill I'm assumin'."

I nodded, "Well, of course Bill knows, we've been best friends since we were in middle school. I mean other than him."

Ralph pursed his lips then shook his head, "No, I don't think so."

"Good," I said, sighing in relief.

"So, are ya gunna answer my question?" Ralph asked me.

"What question?" I asked him curiously.

"Why'd ya wanna join the paratroopers?" He asked, looking at me calmly. There was no shock, surprise, anger, nothing on his face. He seemed fine with all of this, and I thanked God for that.

I shrugged, "I don't know... I wanted to help out, and this is where Bill was going, so... I just signed up, I guess."

Ralph scoffed and nodded, "Just like that? Man, yer just like everyone else. And here I thought ya had some deep, inspirational story."

I rolled my eyes, "We don't all come from slum beginnings."

"Yeah, I guess," Ralph said, then he smiled, "Well... I'm glad yer here, Matt, or... Matilda. Tilda?"

"Just call me Matt, Ralph," I said to him and he smiled.

"Alright then," He responded, then he looked up at the clock, "Ya should probably get goin'. Ya wouldn't wanna be out of the barracks when Sobel comes by."

I yawned and shook my head, "Can't I just stay here for a little while? It's four o'clock and I'm sick, I'm sure I can stick around for just a while longer."

Ralph sighed and watched the clock for a moment more, "Fine, but I'm wakin' ya up in about an hour, so ya better get sleepin' now."

"Yes sir, Private Spina, sir," I mock saluted him, though it was weak with fatigue.

Ralph rolled his eyes, "Wise ass."

I snickered and yawned again as Ralph stood and went back to working on what he was working on when I came in. I just laid back on the cot and went off to sleep.
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I felt somebody poking me in the ribs, and that's what brought me out of my slumber. I groaned irritably and swatted at the hand, mumbling something incoherent even to my ears. The poking didn't stop though, and I said swatted at them so more, and eventually it got annoying.

"Dammit Ralph, fuck off, I'm trying to sleep here," I complained, still swatting at him and keeping my eyes shut.

The person cleared there throat and I could tell that was not Ralph. I snapped open my blue eyes and rolled onto my back, looking up to see who was there with me and I was met with a pair of blue-black eyes. Doc Roe.

I sat up quickly, which was a bad idea on my part, and I swayed when I sat up. I felt a pair of gentle hands on me, one on my shoulder and then other on my back. His touch was as soft as a feather, but at the same time, firm for comfort. He was truly made for this job.

After I regained focus, and muttered out a jumbled, "Thanks..."

The hands were gone and I suddenly felt cold. I looked up and caught eyes with him again and he was watching me with concern, his brow furrowed almost nervously.

"Are you okay?" He asked in his deep accent.

I nodded and ran a trembling hand across my forehead, "Yeah, I'm fine. I just sat up too quick, is all."

"The spaghetti made you sick too, huh?" He asked me, offering me a small smirk that was barely visible on his thin pink lips.

I furrowed my brow curiously at him, "You're sick too?"

He shook his head and averted my gaze briefly, "No. Penkala came in lookin' for medicine for his nausea."

"That gross brown stuff?" I questioned and Eugene nodded.

"That's the one," He replied, still smirking.

I ran a hand across my forehead and Eugene watched me in concern, his smile fading back to his usual frown. He then quickly put his hand to my forehead to feel for a fever, and his touch made me freeze. He was so warm, I so badly wanted to lean into his touch, but I resisted.

"It ain't so bad no more," He said, "Spina told me you were runnin' a high fever earlier, but it's almost back to normal now."

"Then why do I feel like such shit?" I asked him in annoyance as he dropped his hand from my head.

"Because you're sweatin' the fever out," He explained, "At this rate, you should be better by the mornin'."

"Well, at least I'll be well for jump training then," I smiled. I was actually excited to jump out of an airplane, it seemed so cool in my head. Who knows what it was actually like though. It could be terrifying.

"That you will be," Eugene said, offering me that small smirk once again.

I looked up at the clock and saw it was nearly seven, which caused my eyes to nearly pop out of my head, "Shit! I slept way too long! I got to get back to the barracks!"

I tried to stand and get out of there before Sobel got my ass for this, but Eugene pushed me back down onto the cot by putting his hand on my chest. He didn't know what he was really doing, as he was under the understanding that I was a man. But me, knowing that I was in fact a woman with certain things in the area he was currently touching, it made me freeze and a blush creep up my neck, making my whole face red.

He furrowed his brow at this, "You okay, Tauscher?"

I swallowed thickly and nodded, his hand still on my chest, "Fine. I'm just... A little warm."

He gazed at me in concern for a moment longer, then he dropped his hand from my chest and looked me in the eyes. I released a tense breath as he spoke again, "I let you sleep in. Spina told Lieutenant Winters what had happened and he told Captain Sobel, so everythin' is under control, don't you worry."

I released another sigh, but this time in relief, "So I'm not in trouble?"

Eugene shook his head, "You shouldn't be."

"Thank God," I said, slumping my shoulders, "Lord knows that man already hates me."

"Lord knows that man hates everybody," Eugene remarked, and it sort of made me chuckle, which seemed to surprise him, "What?"

I shook my head, "Nothing."

He looked at me curiously, but moved on, deciding to fret over what just happened, "How you feeling now that you've been sittin' up for a few minutes?"

I sat there for a moment, thinking about it, trying to see how I felt. Then I nodded, "Okay, actually."

Eugene smiled and said, "Good."

"That shit flavored medicine works wonders, Doc," I joked and he scoffed a little at that.

God, he was cute when he smiled.

No. Focus, Maddie. You're a paratrooper, you're here so you can win this war, you're not here to fraternize.

"Well," I said, releasing a tense breath, "I should probably get going, anyway. The boys are probably suffering through Luz's awful jokes, they're going to need rescuing."

I started to stand, but then Eugene grabbed me by the arm, "Wait."

I turned to look at him, my brow furrowed curiously, "What is it?"

"Well, uh..." He released my arm and cleared his throat, almost nervously, "Spina sort of left me here to sort through the supplies all by myself, and I was kinda wonderin' if you could, uh... Well, since you're already here, maybe you could help me."

I looked around at the small Aid Station and then looked back to Eugene. He was so awkward, but somehow he could also be quite intimidating. Must be the eyes. His dark, beautiful eyes.

I shrugged and shot him a small smile, "Sure, why not."

Eugene then smiled back at me and slumped his shoulders in relief, then he turned and directed me to one of the shelves where he kept several boxes of supplies that needed sorting.
0-0-0-0-0
"So do you feel ready to become paratroopers?" Our jump training Sergeant asked us and we all chorused with a. "Yes Sergeant!"

It had been several weeks of us jumping off of several foot podiums, learning the correct technique, learning about how the parachute worked, learning how to pack it. It'd been hard, but we were finally here, ready for our first jump, preparing for it.

"This will be the first of five exits from a C-47 aircraft scheduled for today," The Sergeant told us, "After successful completion of your fifth and final jump, you'll be certified army paratroopers."

I had to jump out of an aircraft five times to get my jump wings. I remember back a few weeks ago being excited for this moment, thinking it'd be the greatest thing I'd ever experience in my life. It'd be fun. But now I was scared, my heart was beating a hundred miles a minute and my palms were sweaty with the nerves.

"There will be a lot of men jumping from the sky today. Hopefully, under deployed canopies," The Sergeant said, almost through a laugh, "Jumping from one thousand feet AGL, in sticks of twelve jumpers per aircraft. All you have to do is remember what you were taught, and I guarantee you gravity will take care of the rest. And gentlemen, rest assured, any refusals on the aircraft or at the door, and I guarantee you, you will be out of the Airborne."

He went over the procedure one more time, just for good measure, and then he wished us good luck and we boarded the airplane. I sat on the plane between George Luz and Ralph Spina, Bill had been on a different plane with Frank, Bull Randleman, and Doc.

I was nervous, my feet were shaking in my boots. George seemed nervous too, he was chewing on his bottom lip. Ralph was just sitting there, tapping his foot, but I couldn't tell if it was because he was nervous or just because he was naturally twitchy. Ralph was never nervous, not for anything. He didn't mind running up Currahee, he never threw up or even gagged when we ate that spaghetti, and he never flinched under Captain Sobel. I was convinced Ralph Spina wasn't human.

The green light came on and the guy at the front yelled, "Stand up!"

This was it. This was the moment I've been waiting for since I got here. I stood up with the rest of the men as the guy up front yelled, "Hook up!"

We all hooked up to the static line and he yelled, "Equipment check!"

I heard people yelling that they were okay, and then it approached a few behind me, "Six okay! Five okay! Four okay!" Most people were patting the man in front of them on the shoulder, but not Ralph Spina. I felt his hand smack me on the ass, and I would've glared at him and socked him in the jaw if we weren't about to jump out of an airplane.

I smacked George on the arm after I shouted, "Two okay!"

And then George yelled, "One okay!"

"Stand in the door!" The man yelled and George approached the door, standing there and looking out, trying to be confident, then the man yelled, "Go! Go! Go!"

George released a tense breath, closed his eyes briefly, then sucked in a sharp breath before he jumped out the door, his chute opening almost immediately after he was out. Now it was my turn. I approached the door as the man continued yelling go into my ear. I didn't even have time to think, I just stepped out of the door and the next thing I knew I was free falling.

I don't remember the moment I stepped out of the plane. I was on the plane one minute, and the next I'm floating towards the ground. I must of blinked. My chute opened and I was floating down gently, this was better than I had imagined it would be. I actually started smiling as I came closer to the ground, it was so pretty from up here. Everything was.

The next thing I knew my feet hit the ground and I tucked and rolled before I stood quickly and grabbed at my parachute, winding it up and holding it in my arms, still smiling.

I was ready to do that another four times.