Hospitals, they are like prisons except they have medical staff. Every time I visit them, I get chills up and down my spine just by the fact that they contain dead corpses and house the mentally insane. Hospitals put me on edge – they test my fucking sanity. Especially now as I sit atop one of their cots that has been stripped to the point of it just being a plain old mattress. There's nothing to keep my brain exercised other than the twenty-eight inch TV and a curtain-less window. This is all Suicide Watch protocol…which is complete bull and making desperate with a mixture of annoyed.
Scratching my scarring cuts, I weave over to the door that keeps me confined and test it once more to prove a point: it's locked for the outside in. Observing the hall through the small window, I spy a nurse making her hourly rounds. Tapping my foot, I wait for her to be a few feet away before asking her, "Yo, Nance, could you please get me out of this godforsaken room?" trying to keep my cool. Last time, which was an hour ago, she at least shook her head. Right now, she completely disregards me and keeps about minding her own business as she scribbles something down on patient's charts. Raking a trembling hand down the contours of my face, "Fucking hell! Let me the fuck out 'fore I pull some crazy shit!"
Calmly U-turning all the way back to my "cell", Nancy holds her walkie-talkie to her mouth and says the following, in the most monotonous of tones, "This is Nurse Nancy, please send help. Patient Soto has threatened me with personal harm, I repeat, send help."
Well that escalated rather quickly, Marleene. Flooring, I yank at my hair, pointing at me and then her, baffled, "Que madres son estas? I…I just wanted to get outta here! Was that…fuck!" before I know it, two men barge into the room and hold me down like a cow that's about to be branded, "Hell no!" I struggle as soon as I see Nancy with a syringe in hand. In my lifetime, I did coke but never heroin – always too afraid of needles piercing my skin.
"Please, keep calm, Soto," she sighs as I inch away from her. Giving up, she just stabs it into my arm and within seconds, I'm done.
If anybody ever learns a thing or two from me, it's to never threaten people who're on the Suicide Watch dept. They don't take shit lightly.
They empty out of the room, leaving my numb body on the bed. All I feel is sluggishness. My mind wanders to the events that lead me to this barren dump of misery.
ΔΔΔΔ
Earlier today…
-7:16a.m-
Somewhere in the depths of my sub-consciousness, I can hear what sounds like Micks freaking out, "Oh my Jesus!" something shatters as she starts to hyperventilate, "Mar…Mar, are you awake? Mar!" she's eaten a blonde…
"Mm…?" I mumble as I wake up from my short lived sleep, wiping the spit that drips from the side of my mouth and groggily yawn.
"Stupid ass bitch!" she growls, and I scrunch up my face from the loudness, "I come here ready to apologize and…Fuck that!" she stomps out of my room and for a moment I believe she's done with her shit, "Hello, operator? Yeah, I need an ambulance or something…my friend has just attempted suicide…her arms are all slit up!"
Instantly, my mind awakens and I get to my feet faster than the speed of light and rush to the kitchen. Micks sees me and tries to fend me off like we're playing basketball. Either way, I get a hold of the phone as she tries to give the dispatcher or whatever vital info, "Ain't nobody try-"
A slaps makes me loosen my grip on the phone and Micks once again has it in her grasp, "Please, ma'am! Send somebody over!" with that she clicks and death glares me.
"What in the mothers of fuck!" I shout, losing myself.
"When we were younger, I was too stupid to do shit…not anymore. You may not see it but you need help!" she replies taking a hold of my bloodied arm.
Snapping my arm back, "Don't be a fucking idiot!" I can already feel a vessel in brain threatening to burst from my pent-up anger, "You're so, so, so fucking…lucky…lucky that I can't…be-" I open my mouth to finish the sentence but it's of no use, I'm fading to black.
-7:34a.m-
Waking up in what I suppose is the ER; I shrink back as a doctor cleans up my arm. An IV is attached to my arm and my head hurts like a whore. A nurse checks in with the doctor and then steps out into the waiting area, "Can the relatives of Marleene Soto please come over?"
As expected, my pregnant best friend wobbles in with Dominick, still in sleeping garb, both equally bawling their eyes out. I resist lashing out at the pair fearing repercussions, "How…how is she?" asks Dominick.
The doctor takes off his latex gloves and tosses them into the hazardous waste bin and goes over to the boy, "She's just got some boo-boos, son" and pats the munchkin's head, moving onto his upset mother, "Please, relax yourself, Mrs. Welsh. Marleene is just fine. I do ask, would you like us to keep her under close eye…in case she relapses?"
Sneaking a peak at me over the doc's shoulder, Mackenzie bites her lip and nods in slow motion, "For how long?"
Springing out of the bed, ripping out my IV in the process, I grabbed onto the doctor's lab coat, "No, no, no doc don't listen to her! I am a grown woman; I decide shit for myself!" he quickly reaches into his pocket for a cotton rag and places over my rapidly bleeding arm, "Please, I need to be able to go to work!"
"Nancy!" he shouts and a nurse rushes in, "Please give Mrs. Welsh the commitment form," my eyes roll to the back of my head and I'm out like light.
-9:08a.m-
"Well it's about time you rise and shine, sleepyhead!" exclaims an over-enthusiastic voice as I swim back into consciousness.
Raising my hands to my ears, "Shush, not so damn loud," I whine, "My poor head…" after a moment, I slowly open my eyes and am greeted by the sun and a curvaceous woman in nurse attire, "Am I in a porn?"
Giggling, the lady flips on the television and turns to me, "No, silly goose! I am Diane, your room attendee whilst Nurse Dells comes back from her break."
Attendee? Fuck! I put it on everything that is precious that once I'm out of this, Mackenzie Abigail Brooks-Welsh is a marked woman. I'd been here ages ago and know how the system works. It's a hellhole, "Hey, don't fall asleep!"
Taking in this beauty of a woman, something seems off. Not that she's deformed in any way but her face…it's oddly familiar, "What'd you say your name was?"
She points to her name tag, "Diane Muller, at your service!"
Chipper as she is, I can tell she's being pretentious. I observe her and put my finger on it. Diane Muller was one of those girls, the ones who pranced around school with their posses as if they owned the place. She was the cookie cutter bully one usually sees on teen flicks – the ones that win over guys with a flash of their smile. Diane was the school's most valuable baseball player's girlfriend. This curvy woman is the same bitch that killed my sister.
"You from around Romeoville, Diane?" I ask with the uttermost attention.
Shaking her head, "Nope. Was born and raised in Lockport, two miles away from here, but got a fellowship here in '98. Why?"
Shrugging, "Thought I saw you on the cover on some magazine…but I heard a crazy ass story about some girl killing herself at a party that year."
Shifting from right to left, Diane tenses up, "Yeah. It was so sad. One minute, I'm having a good time with some friends and then-boyfriend…next moment, the police barges in. People cleared out faster than a snap of a finger. This girl, Fancy? Something like that, is found dead with her sister sobbing," she shivers as though chilled, "Real, real nice girl, a slut but nice…"
That's all it takes to set of this TNT. I feel my body ablaze, "Her name was Fannie, bitch."
Taken aback, "Excuse me?"
"You heard me. If anyone deserves to remember her name, it's you. I'm her sister. I know every bit of shit that you said; you killed her. She may be dead and you…you will be in a minute!" I lunge full force at her. She screeches as we both sail onto the floor. My IV rips out of my skin causing nothing but pure fucking pain to shoot up my arm but I don't care. My fists pound away at this chick.
"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!" shrieks the nurse that happens to stop in. Her clipboard smacks the floor as she runs out of the room and hails for back up. Men in white scrubs run in and try to pull me off of this sick bitch but I refuse to go without revenge; I've waited far too long for this moment. Thrashing and struggling, I strive to be free but that's when said nurse stabs a needle into my arm and I go limp from neck down.
As Diane's semi-conscious body is dragged out of my room, I roar, "Watch when I catch you up on the outside, hussy! I'll be sure to get the job done! Because of you, my sister, a motherfucking good person, is gone!"
-9:22a.m-
Still in a whirlwind, trying to plan out how exactly I'm going to find that bitch, I beat myself up for not getting the job done. The sedative is pretty damn strong as I'm barely regaining feeling in my arms. Directly in front of me my newly assigned nurse, Nancy. She flips away at a glossy magazine that's probably full of juicy gossip.
As I haven't gotten a proper introduction, I take her in. She's decent for a woman of her age. In the outside world you'd hear boys talk about her and men on the corner of liquor stores whistle as she'd stroll by. Her skin is like porcelain, flawless, with freckles that compliment her lily pad green eyes that hide behind her black framed glasses. Her curves have to be spot on. Other days, women wouldn't catch my eye. All this loneliness isn't doing me any good.
"Good, you're up," she speaks up and my lust is gone. Her voice could kill any growing desire, "Tell me what you're feeling, Soto. Anything, anger…hunger…anything."
Lacking spirit, I sight but remain calm hoping if I respond correctly…I'll earn myself a ticket home, "I feel peachy. I mean, save for the re…resentment," the word tastes bitter, "for what I did to…that woman." How the hell's she gonna chew that when you can barely swallow it?
Putting her pen back in her front pocket, Nancy stands up and starts towards the door, "Alright, try to relax. Dr. Humpstein will be checking up on you sometime today," she takes off and I am back where I started.
Giving up a lost fight, I lie down and think about nothing and everything, "Dr. Humpstein?" my body convulses with laughter as I repeat the ridiculous name. Five minutes later, tears of joy have become tears of pain and the just tears.
ΔΔΔΔ
"…can really give two shits about who you are! No me conoces! Me vale verge, pinche doctor de cuarta!" I growl, while two men try to keep a tight hold on me as I'm trying to claw out this joke of a doctor's eyes out of their sockets.
"Ms. Soto, you need to control yourself, please," his tone angers me even more. The man is talking down to me like one of his unstable patients! I thrash around and he resorts to a wack ass alternative, "Gentlemen, straightjacket the young Miss."
Humiliated doesn't even begin to cover how exactly I am feeling at the moment. I find the ceiling quite amusing; the only thing that's helping hold back infuriated tears. My breathing is labored, my brain is ready to turn into mush, and every vessel in brain is on the verge of bursting, "Can I…can I just go back to my room?"
"No. For me to even allow you to go anywhere after these seventy-two hours are up, you need to inform me…you need to let me know what's going on. I'm here to help but that's only if you'll let me," he comes around his mahogany desk and leans against the edge; I scoot back, "Come on, don't be afraid. Let's just get this over with."
Eyeing him carefully, I spot a strange connection between him and the actor in the old 007 flicks my old man used to watch in his free time. He isn't all that hard on the eyes either, maybe in his late thirties, "Untie me."
He removes the jacket and goes back to his previous position, "Just say what you were doing prior to being admitted."
Should I? Yes…no…fuck it! Entering my seductress state of mind, "Well, I dunno…I might've been thinking about how lonely I am," I inch closer to him, basically whispering into his ear, "So lonely…" I lean into him so he can feel my warmth through the paper-thin hospital issued sack, "Anybody ever tell you how closely you resemble Sean Connery, in his early years?" he shakes his head, obviously bewildered by my actions, "Well you do…maybe a tad bit more attractive. I dunno, maybe it's your eyes," my nails ghost over his knee and fingers land on his thigh, "You got a wife?" I ask with half-lidded eyes and he nods, "What a shame, really…" I slide my hand sinfully over his fly, "Shameful 'cus now I can't…" I angle in on his lips. The man is like a puppet under my control. Soon as his hands touch me, I pull away, "That's just a sneak peek, doc. Next time may be your day…"
Turning on my heel, I sashay out the door, making sure to show off what he could have, leaving the quack dumbfound… probably high and dry as well. This is how desperate I am to gain my liberty.
"Hey you…!" yells one of the men I now know a security personnel.
"Calm you balls, Chuck. Take me back to my cell, will ya'?"
"It's Mark," he forcibly latches onto my wrist but I pull away.
Wringing my wrist, "I know the way, no soy perra, Chuck. I'd just get in deeper trouble if escape even crosses my mind."
"Mark…"
"Yeah, whatever floats your boat…Chuck."
A/N- Woo...that was a toughy. I'm thinking you guys will enjoy the next couple of chapters as I'll work on developing Marleene...and who she is and was. Keep up the support!