A/N: Updating earlier than usual just so I can annoy my future self by throwing everything off. Heh. Don't forget to review (about the chapter)! I think when I don't remind people they assume that means to... not. Not just this story, other authors' stories. Review.

Music: Listen to "Live in the Moment" by Portugal. The Man. On repeat. /cries/

Dedicated to netamasheep

Strange to think it was only a week ago he'd sang alongside Rin on stage, and after getting a call from her this afternoon, Sasuke was on a bus heading downtown at her request. #Feminist and some other musicians were getting together at her place. Having no other plans, Sasuke agreed to swing by and stay for a while. Since he was asked to bring his guitar, it was sitting next to him on the adjacent seat. There were other boys his age on the bus, already loud and obnoxious for it only being 8 p.m.

Being a partial masochist, Sasuke decided to check Naruto's accounts and saw a few more photos from last night. There was a photo of him in the arms of familiar-looking ginger-haired boy. Wasn't that… Gaara? He'd seen photos in Naruto's room, but was confused as to why Naruto was with him in Joliet. Hadn't he moved? In any case, Naruto looked… happy. Gaara was grimacing; Naruto had an arm around his waist, pretending to kiss him on the cheek. There were photos of Naruto's other friend Kiba, but as the night progressed, it was mostly just pictures of Naruto and Gaara doing various things at the party.

For some reason, it made him anxious. He'd felt confident last night about Naruto not getting too out of control while away on vacation, but in the light of day, he'd grown insecure again. Actually, he felt like a creep for having texted Naruto while pretending to be his brother. He was sure Itachi found out, too, which would explain why they didn't talk very much on the drive home.

Putting an end to his cyberstalking, Sasuke fished out his earbuds and decided to listen to some music. The passengers in the front were getting on his nerves, so it would help drown them out until he arrived at his stop.

Naruto hadn't been planning to go out every night, but now that he'd run into Gaara, it was easy to fall back into old habits. They'd just left the house Gaara's siblings were temporarily renting. He'd been able to see Temari and Kankurou, which was pretty cool. Naruto thought he was over his childhood crush on Gaara's older sister, but he sort of slobbered all over Temari just like he used to. What could he say? He had a thing for women who gave him a hard time.

Before leaving the house, they'd had a few drinks, minus Kankurou who'd volunteered to drive them to a house party in a crappy neighborhood near downtown Joliet.

"Hey, are you guys gonna need a ride back?" Kankurou asked.

Naruto wedged himself in between the two front seats. "If it's a problem, we can always get an Uber. Or, hey there's Kiba or Neji."

"I'd rather take an Uber before I'd call one of them," Gaara replied. "No offense."

"Heh. We'll play it by ear, but don't go too far." Naruto fell back against his seat. "Hey, can you turn this up? I like this song."

"Since when did you like punk?" Gaara asked.

He shrugged. "I've never disliked it, but I guess my musical tastes have expanded."

"Is this because of your one friend who plays in a band?" Gaara asked.

"Oh, what's this? Does Naruto have a girlfriend in a band?" Kankurou grinned at him in the rearview mirror. "That's hot. Way to go."

"It's a guy," Gaara said to his brother. "Naruto says he plays guitar."

"I guess that's cool," Kankurou remarked.

"I did see a rad girl band last week. They were really good, and the lead singer gave me her number," Naruto mentioned and then felt bad he still hadn't texted her yet.

"Well, did you call her?" Kankurou asked.

"Uh, no. Things got hectic before I left, and then it felt weird to call her up only to be leavin' for a week. I didn't wanna bum her out with the details."

"She's going to think you're not interested," Kankurou lectured. "You might've missed your chance."

"You really think so?" Naruto frowned. "I mean, I guess I could text her, but I was kinda hopin' to, uh, you know… have some fun this week?"

Gaara, smirking, glanced over his shoulder to send him a smug look. "He means he wants to get lucky here, and he'd feel guilty if he called her before that."

Naruto glared and flicked him off. "Shut up, asshole."

"Why? Because I'm right?"

He smiled. "That's exactly right."

"Ah, youth," Kankurou remarked nostalgically. "I hope someone's givin' you the sex talk. You don't want any little bastard Narutos running around, do you?"

"Jesus, Kankurou," Naruto groaned. "Do you think I'm a virgin' or something? I'm not Gaara."

Gaara reached out his arm and a fisted hand. "Come here, Naruto," he threatened. "I've got something to tell you."

"If you ask nicely," Naruto said, scooting away to a safe distance. "I'll be your first time. I'll make sure to be nice and gentle, too."

Kankurou made a noise of disgust. "Could you not? I think I'm gonna throw up."

"Since when are you all homophobic?" Naruto asked. "It was just a joke."

"It's not really that, but the thought of you and my brother," said Kankurou. "Although, I have had my suspicions about the two of you. Sure would explain a lot."

"Don't be stupid," said Gaara. "Naruto and I are only friends."

Naruto laughed. "I can't believe you felt you had to explain that to him!"

Gaara shrugged. "I don't have anything against it, but I'm with Kankurou. I'd rather not have those kinds of images in my head."

"What?" He scoffed. "Now I'm just offended. I'll have you know that I get compliments on my skills, so you'd be lucky to receive a tutorial from me. Jerks. It's a privilege!"

"Sure, sure." Kankurou nodded. "Tell it to my sister."

"Tch. If she'd hear me out for real, I might." Naruto pouted as he stared out the window. "What's wrong with havin' a good time while I'm here? It might be nice not havin' to worry about shit."

"Oh, is there trouble in paradise back in Seattle?" Kankurou asked.

"Like it's any of your business," Naruto said.

"Fine, be that way, brat. When I'm drivin' your underage asses to some party in the ghetto."

It was Gaara who turned up the music. "Less talk," he said. "More driving, Kankurou."

When Sasuke arrived at Rin's, there were already a lot of people he didn't recognize. He wondered if she (or her parents) was well-off since it was a giant loft a mile east of the University of Washington. As far as he knew, she didn't have a roommate. He waved to a couple musicians he knew from past shows. Before he could get too far, however, he was accosted by a tiny calico kitten that circled his ankle. Sasuke wouldn't say he liked animals, but it gazed up at him pathetically and mewled. One of its ears was missing the tip, too. It mewed a second time and clutched at his pant leg. He looked around for an owner, but not seeing anybody, picked up the tiny thing and cradled it against his chest. It likely snuck in from the cold because everyone kept opening and closing the door to go out and have a smoke. After weaving through drunken party goers, Sasuke eventually found all of the #Feminist band members gathered in the kitchen. Fuu and Rin nearly tripped over themselves to give him a hug, but when he showed he'd brought an unexpected guest, became more interested in his furry stowaway than him.

"Oh my God, is he yours?" Rin gasped. "He's so tiny! I've always wanted a cat!"

"I take it it's not yours?" He asked, handing the kitten off to her, which took some doing since it dug its claws into the front of his shirt.

"No, I don't have a cat!" She and Fuu cooed over it while he dusted the hair from his coat.

"I found him in your entryway, so maybe she belongs to someone else."

"She?" Fuu repeated and flipped the kitten over. "Ah, I see. Good eye."

"Sasuke," Rin said with a big smile. "You know more about pussy than I thought you would!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Is there a place I can set my coat and guitar for now?"

"Oh, sure. In the loft. That's my bedroom, so you can put all your stuff there, and it'll be safe. Hopefully no one's using my bed. Ignore them if they are."

He watched her retrieve a carton of milk from the fridge and pour some of it into a cereal bowl. The kitten began to lap it up like it hadn't eaten anything for days. Sasuke became lost in his thoughts, almost like he was experiencing deja vu.

Rin glanced up at him. "You okay?"

"Yes." He forced a smile. "You're good with strays, huh?"

She tilted her head as if trying to understand his meaning. "I guess you could say that. Do you want me to make you a drink while you put your stuff in my room?"

"Would you mind?" His eyes wandered to the group of photos displayed on her fridge.

"Ah, those are from Rio," Rin explained. "They're my parents. They moved to Brazil around the time I started university here, but they visit sometimes. I might go down for spring break if we don't book any shows."

"No, you should go," said Fuu, who'd been busy mothering the neglected cat. "Actually, take me with you!"

Rin laughed. "Yeah, you should definitely go. Sasuke, have you ever been to Brazil?"

"I haven't," he said. "My family has plans to visit Japan this spring. My father hasn't been feeling well lately, so we might not go."

"I've wanted to go there, but I haven't had a chance. My dad hardly speaks Japanese in front of me, so I don't know it as well as I do Portuguese. You speak it fluently, though, right?"

"My brother's more fluent than me," he replied. "But, yes. I can speak it."

"Ah, I ought to have you tutor me. My dad would think that's so funny. Ah, right. What did you say you wanted to drink?" She got to her feet and washed her hands.

"Anything with vodka is fine," he replied. "Bartender's choice."

She winked at him. "You might live to regret that decision, Sasuke."

"I'll add it to my list of regrets then." He smirked. "I'll put this away. Be right back."

"Alright. We'll take care of your friend while you're gone then!"

Oh, man. It had been a while since Naruto had this much fun. He was definitely beyond tipsy and had lost track of Gaara about 20 minutes ago. So, he'd made a few new friends, including a couple of hot girls, both of whom wanted to dance with him. The music was too loud for much conversation, but he was under the impression neither was looking for one. Having gone out so much with Sai and Sasuke (two very gay guys), he'd forgotten what it was like to do things like this: hit on random girls, dance with them, and maybe make out just for fun. Not to mention it was the first time in a month he'd given himself permission to think about someone else besides Sasuke.

Naruto grabbed the bottle of beer from the girl in front of him. "Mind if I…?"

She shook her head and smiled. "Go for it."

He took a swig, growling when her fingers snuck under his shirt and she scraped her long red nails across his skin. The girl behind him slipped her arms around his waist. Then her friend took the bottle back from him and leaned in for a kiss. Naruto remembered watching her closely, noticing the sparkles in her silvery eyeshadow, the length of her thick lashes, and deep green of her eyes. She was girly and sexy in a very feminine way, which was so different from…

"Ah," gasped against her lips when the other girl bit him on the shoulder.

If this resulted in a threesome, he could easily forgive himself tomorrow. It was annoying he had to keep reminding himself that he had every right to do this and to do anything he wanted with whomever. He wasn't dating anybody, he hadn't promised anyone anything. He's the one who'd been rejected. Thank goodness his hormones were on his side. Two sets of hands continued to roam over his body. One girl was darker-skinned with light gray hair, and the other had hair as blond as his. It was getting hot in the basement, and too crowded to be comfortable. Definitely a fire hazard. The smell of pot was strong. He did think about Gaara and where he might be.

"What are you thinking about? Something dirty, I hope?" The silvery-haired girl teased while holding tight to his waist.

Naruto used his finger to trace the low neckline of her dress. "Why, are you?"

"You could be my type. You're very," she brushed his hair out of his eyes, which was a pretty cute gesture, "Nice to look at, I'd say."

He pulled her even closer. "I also have a great sense of humor if you're interested."

"I'm sure you have a wonderful personality," she replied dryly, winding two fingers into his hair, "But, I wouldn't mind getting to know other parts of you better?"

Naruto smirked. He could appreciate a woman who knew what she wanted.

He leaned in, speaking next to her mouth. "How are we gonna go about that?"

"There are rooms upstairs?" She suggested. "Do you want to go?"

Naruto didn't know what sort of girl signals she used, but her friend split, leaving the two of them alone. Ah, no threesome! She led him by the hand, and he followed her upstairs. He didn't think it would be easy to find an empty room in such a small house, but feeling giddy (as well as drunk and horny), Naruto snapped up her wrist on a whim and firmly pressed her to the wall. They were in a dark, narrow hallway, and while he kissed her, she squeezed his ass. When he lifted her off her feet and wrapped her legs around his waist, she laughed. There were others watching, cheering them on, and slapping him on the back. After they disentangled, she dragged him further along down the hall until they found an unoccupied bedroom. Almost like it was meant to be.

Two hours later, there was a large group gathered around the kitchen table with their guitars. The girls sang, and Sasuke was happy to play accompaniment. He had his phone out on the table, next to his drink. It was surprising he was able to play without making too many mistakes.

When Rin set her hand on his shoulder, he looked up without missing a chord.

"Hey, join me outside for a smoke?" She asked.

He nodded and set his guitar aside. The others continued playing without them. Sasuke followed Rin to her bedroom, where they retrieved their coats. The calico kitten from before had fallen asleep on her covers.

"I was thinking of adopting her," Rin whispered as if afraid of waking the cat. "What do you think? It gets lonely here without a roommate."

"I would say if she doesn't belong to anybody, do as you please."

She laughed at him. "You have such a weird way of talking sometimes."

"I do?" He asked, zipping his jacket. He watched as she picked up a lighter from off the dresser. "Have you always smoked? Isn't that bad for a singer?"

"I only do it when I drink," she replied. "I know it's bad, but just this one time." Rin pressed her finger to her lips. "Let's keep it our little secret, okay?"

"Not much of a secret if they see you smoking."

"Yeah, yeah." She waved for him to follow her down the loft stairs, out to the hall and into the big room, where a group was using a hookah. He could still hear Fuu in the kitchen singing and the others playing.

"Fuu has a good voice," he remarked absently while opening the door for Rin.

"I think so, too. But, she says she gets stage fright when she sings by herself."

"It's not an easy thing to do, that's for sure." Sasuke tucked his hands into his pockets when they were outside. He hadn't thought to bring gloves since it wasn't cold when he left the house.

"You did it, and you were fine."

Rin had trouble lighting her cigarette, so he took the lighter and lit it for her.

"Thanks." She smiled at him and lightly punched his shoulder. "You're so smooth, you know that? How do you not have, like, a million boyfriends by now?"

"Who said I'm interested in a boyfriend?" He asked, looking up at the sky.

"You don't want one?"

"Not being out to my family would make a relationship rather complicated." Sasuke looked at her. "Don't you think?"

"Oh." She frowned. "Is that what's going on with you and Naruto?"

"I'd rather not comment on it."

"Maybe he's not such a great guy anyway." Rin turned her head to make sure the smoke didn't hit him in the face when she blew it out. "He never called or texted. So, clearly he wasn't interested, but if you two are still - "

"We aren't," he interrupted. "Like I said, I'm not looking for a relationship, and he's out of town. Maybe you'll hear from him when he gets back. He's good at surprising people."

Rin slid closer to him while they were leaning against the side of the building. "I can't get a read on you as to whether you like this guy, and if I'd be bad friend for, you know."

Sasuke glanced at her. He could tell she was interested in knowing more about Naruto. Or, rather, that she was trying to gauge if it was okay for her to like him.

"I don't know what to tell you," he said honestly.

"Where'd he go? Family vacation?"

"He transferred here last March from Illinois. Naruto," Sasuke paused to steal the cigarette from her, "Went with his father to… take care of some family business."

"Family business?" Rin asked. "Are they in the mafia? Are his parents divorced?"

"No. His mother passed away a year ago. From what I gathered, they were going to visit her grave. To be honest, he and I haven't exactly been speaking, so I don't know more than that, Rin."

"Oh… that's… really heavy, isn't it? Sorry. I wasn't expecting that. He seemed so cheerful." She looked really sad for Naruto. "Now that I know you two are friends, is it wrong of me to say I'm curious about it? I've only had a couple of relationships with girls. I mean ones where we went out more than a few times, and finding a girl who likes girls is complicated in itself. It's been mostly musicians for me. So, I'm curious if it's any easier for guys."

"I can assure you it's not," he replied, shaking off the cigarette ashes. "Not at this age at least."

"Do you think it gets easier as we get older?"

Sasuke handed the cigarette back to her and smirked. "You tell me. Aren't you two years older?"

"Shut up. Are you trying to say I'm an old lady at 19?" She asked, nudging him in the ribs with her bony elbow.

"If you're that interested in him, he'll be back on the 26th. Maybe he'll explain things to you. I don't think I should be the one to."

"Yeah, but I don't know him. It's you I think of as a friend, so if you like him, Sasuke, I'd kind of want you to tell me so I don't get in the way of anything. Actually, since it's like this, there are a million other guys in Seattle. It doesn't have to be him."

"I have no right to tell him who he can or can't date," Sasuke replied.

"True, for all we know, maybe he's getting it on with some girl in Illinois." She huffed. "He does like girls, right? He said he did."

"Yes. Naruto very much likes women," he replied. "I don't think he's into men."

"So you're that special exception?"

Rin appeared to shiver, so Sasuke pulled up the hood of her coat.

"I don't know if Naruto would think of me that way," he replied. "Probably thinks I'm a mistake. We spoke after the show last week. Only because Yagura instigated something."

"Oh my God, what did that jerk do?"

"That doesn't matter." Sasuke stole her cigarette again. "We talked. I could tell he was still angry with me. That, and he told me as much. The next day, I stopped by his apartment - "

"You ambushed him?" She interrupted. "Yeah, you definitely have it bad."

"It wasn't meant to be an ambush. Not really," he explained. "I did want to talk to him since it felt like he was going out of his way to avoid me. Then again, I'd been avoiding him at school for a few weeks."

"Seriously?" She nudged him again. "That doesn't sound like you."

"I'm sure the me from a year ago would argue it's very much like me. Actually, how I've been acting lately feels about right. It's how I've been acting since Naruto came here that seems… strange."

"How so?"

He glanced at her, an eyebrow raised.

"Am I asking too many questions?"

"You are, but I'm drunk, so it's the best time to get away with it." He smiled, handing the cigarette back. "Plus, you're cute. For a girl."

"Tch." She tossed the cigarette on the ground and stamped it out with her boot. "So, you did something that upset him. I'm guessing from how you said you don't want a relationship… maybe you told him as much. Does that mean Naruto wanted one with you? But, I thought he wasn't into guys?"

Sasuke shrugged. "He apparently thought it would all magically work out if we both felt the same way."

"So you do like him!" She swatted his arm. "I told you to tell me that!"

"I didn't say I felt the same," he replied.

"So, you don't like him?"

Sasuke gazed up at the sky again. "What does it matter if either way, I don't want a relationship? Or, rather. I can't have one until I come out."

"Sure you can," Rin argued. "Just do it in secret."

"He doesn't want that," Sasuke replied. "Essentially that's what we'd been doing. Not a relationship, but…" He gestured vaguely.

"Oh. That's kind of sexy to think about in its own way." She grinned and even giggled.

"It makes things complicated."

"Sex always does." Rin nodded her head knowingly. "So, you two were friends with benefits, he developed feelings for you, you shot him down, but you like him? Did you tell him you feel the same way but just don't want to date? Maybe he can wait until you come out to your family?"

"I don't want that." Sasuke felt his phone go off in his back pocket, but he left it alone. "I don't want him to wait on a moment I can't predict when will happen. I won't ask him to carry on a secret relationship when I know he's too honest for that. Besides, I never told him how I felt, so he thinks I've rejected him and don't have any feelings for him."

Rin was quiet after that. Sasuke checked to see what was wrong and found that there were tears falling down her cheeks.

"Rin?" He asked, unsure why she was crying.

Then, she covered her face with her hands and dropped to her feet.

"I can't - " Her voice was muffled by her hands. "That's too sad, Sasuke. How could you?" She looked up at him, her brown eyes filled with tears. "Don't you feel bad for him, that he thinks you don't love him? Maybe if you told him, he'd - "

"No." He looked down at her. "If he calls you, you don't tell him either. If he calls you at all, it means he's ready to move on, and I'd rather him do that than wait for me."

"It's like you're fine with playing the villain. What if he hates you forever? Then, what if he finds out later on that you weren't honest? I don't get it. If he likes you and is willing to date you when he doesn't even like guys - "

"Isn't that another reason to let him go?" Sasuke cut her off, unable to control the slight bit of anger in his tone. "It's already hard for me to come out. Why would I do that to him? He'd be better off with a girl. It's easier. He seems to like relationships with them, and I can't give him that. He'd be better off with you than me, so why shouldn't I push him away?"

"Because you love him, man!" Rin gave him a push and then proceeded to hit him in the leg. "He loves you, and you love him, and you're going to throw it all away!"

"I don't have a choice."

"I'm gonna have to disagree with you there," she replied and got to her feet, dusting off her backside. "I feel bad for you. I really do, but the romantic in me thinks you're making a mistake. I hope you're sure, Sasuke. That this is what you really want. You might lose him forever."

"Maybe I already have."

"Or, you could call him right now. Even if you don't want a relationship, why can't you at least be friends? You rejected and ignored him. You've clearly hurt his feelings, but he seems to still care about you a lot. Aaaah! I can't take this. I'm going inside!"

Before she could go back in, he grabbed her by the arm.

"Are you really mad at me over this?" He asked.

"I'm upset and frustrated, but no I'm not mad at you. I just imagine what it would be like to be in Naruto's shoes." She shook her head. "I clearly respect your choice not to come out, that's a personal decision, for sure, but to treat someone who loves you like they're a burden… aaah. I suddenly feel like writing a sad love song, so I'm going in! Are you coming?"

"I will in a minute," he replied, slightly surprised by her emotional reaction.

It wasn't the first time she reminded him of Naruto. Sasuke wasn't the type to get worked up for all the world to see. It was easier to silently brood or hold a grudge until the end of time. It did make him worry that, if these two were to meet and go out, it could become serious. But, how could he stand in front of that when he's the one who rejected what Naruto had to offer?

When he was alone, he leaned against the cold bricks and gave it some thought. It's not as if he enjoyed the way things were going. He missed Naruto. It didn't sit well with him that Naruto hated his guts or didn't want to have anything to do with him. It's not like he enjoyed the idea of Naruto being with someone else. Hell, he could be with someone right now. And, no, he didn't want to think about it. Even though imagining Naruto with a woman was far more tolerable than imagining him with another guy. Sasuke had threatened him by boasting he should be able to move on, too. But, unlike two months ago when he'd been jealous out of his mind and slept with that DJ, he didn't feel like he wanted to do anything with anybody else. When he went to bed at night, it was Naruto he imagined. When he jerked off, it was Naruto. It was always Naruto.

But, did he want to fuck up his family to satisfy Naruto? Rather than to satisfy Naruto, did he want to fuck up his family in order to progress their relationship? No. He wasn't ready. But if he told Naruto that he loved him, Naruto would fight him on this and wait for him. That didn't set well with him either, even if Naruto agreed to it. And, wasn't it Naruto who'd be the first to say: It would happen if it was meant to be? Apparently, it wasn't meant to be. At least not right now, and with the way things were going, maybe it wasn't even meant to happen in this lifetime.

"Where'd you learn to kiss like that?"

The light was on, but the bulb kept flickering, giving everything an orange glow. The room was sparsely furnished, but it did have a bed and dresser.

"Will I get slapped if I say it's from experience?" Naruto asked, his legs hanging off the side of the bed as she hopped on top of him and straddled his waist.

"I'd think you were lying if you didn't." She smiled, bending over enough that he caught a healthy glimpse of her tanned breasts, though he tried not to stare too much.

He tugged at one of her earrings. "Pretty."

"Thanks." She laughed, and that was nice, too. "You're really cute, you know that?"

Naruto, wrapping an arm around her waist, pulled her down so that she lay on top of him. "I dunno how much a guy loves bein' called cute."

"What's wrong with that?" She reached in between them to undo his belt buckle. "If I didn't think you were sexy, I wouldn't be here, but you're... you know?"

He moved her hair out of her eyes and tucked it behind an ear. "I don't know. What am I?"

She smiled at him as she got the buckle unfastened. "You're a nice guy. I can tell."

"Even though I'm at a party like this? Even though you don't know me?"

"That's true," she said. "You're not going to try anything weird, are you?"

"'Course not." He lay his arms out on either side of his body. "You're the one in charge if you want to be."

"You really are a different kind of guy. I don't even know your name." She leaned down for another kiss, and Naruto cupped the back of her head, controlling everything about it.

"Do you want to know it?" He asked when they parted.

"I do." She undid the button to his jeans.

"Naruto," he answered, lightly grabbing the back of her bare thigh. "Your name?"

"Do you want to know it?" She replied with sass, making him chuckle.

"I do."

"It's Mabui." She lowered his zipper while staring into his eyes.

Mabui was a lot more assertive than other girls he'd been with. For the most part, he liked taking control, but he didn't mind giving it up either. He was thankful he'd had plenty of drinks earlier on, so he didn't have to do a lot of thinking. There was a strange moment of hesitation when her hand slipped into his boxers that made it hard to enjoy the initial touch of her fingers wrapping around him.

During the summer, when he'd done things with the girls he'd dated, it had been easy to think only about them because it was the right thing to do. He knew it was the first time he'd been with someone besides Sasuke in three months, but he was trying very hard to put it out of his mind. It helped that women felt and acted different than men. Still, as she began to move her hand over him - and though they shared a few slow, deep kisses - it was difficult to keep from comparing. He knew he didn't owe Sasuke anything, so it wasn't that he felt guilty, but it was like his heart wasn't in it. Naruto loved sex. He loved giving pleasure to partners, which is why going through the motions wasn't a part of his DNA. Except, here he was. Doing that. It didn't feel bad, but it just wasn't… as good.

Don't think about him. Don't do it. He doesn't deserve it.

Naruto shifted underneath her, giving himself room to reach between them and cover her hand, attempting to show her how he liked it. Closing his eyes, they kissed some more, and, in the end, his brain betrayed him, conjuring up images of Sasuke in order to get into it. Out of guilt toward her, he kissed Mabui harder and abruptly sat up so that she was atop his thighs. He kept their hands moving together and wrapped his other arm around her waist. It was annoying because he'd never had problems in this area, and though he was at least half-hard, the amount of effort it was taking to stay with her in the moment was killing his sexual drive. Dammit.

If he could concentrate on her, that would be better. He was just about to flip her onto her back when the bedroom door opened. While she didn't seem to notice, Naruto held her close, about to yell at the intruder (dammit, hadn't either one of them locked the door?).

"Naruto," said Gaara, without diverting his gaze. "We need to leave."

"Uh, did you notice I'm kinda preoccupied?" He asked, and poor Mabui already looked mortified.

Gaara crossed his arms and glared. "The police are here. Let's go."

"Shit, are you serious?"

Unfortunately, Mabui forgot her hand was holding a very sensitive part of his body and accidentally squeezed.

"Ow, Jesus," he said, trying to remove her hand from off his dick.

"Oh, sorry. Oh, my God! I need to find my friend!" She scrambled off him, searching around for her purse in a panic.

Naruto quickly tucked himself in and pulled up his jeans. He hopped off the bed.

"Wait a sec," he called to her because the back of her dress was, uh, tucked into her underwear. Naruto fixed it for her and kissed her on the cheek. "Do you have a ride? A place to go?"

She seemed to calm and shook her head. "Yeah, I'll be fine. Sorry, I couldn't, um - " Mabui made a vague gesture toward his crotch.

Naruto, while scratching the back of his head, flashed her a reassuring smile. "It's fine. Nothin' I can't finish off later all by myself."

"Naruto," Gaara said again. "Now would be a good time to go before we get arrested."

"Yeah, yeah. I know you don't need anything else on your record, you pervert." Naruto, allowing Mabui to get out first - where she soon disappeared to the basement in search of her friend - followed Gaara out a back door that led to a rickety wooden deck.

There were already people running out into the yard from downstairs.

"Sorry to ruin whatever you had going on," Gaara said while they hurried down the stairs and nearly slipped on the wet grass.

Naruto could see the flash of patrol car lights as they shined around the sides of the house.

"It's okay," he said. "It was, uh, hard to concentrate anyway."

"Performance issues?" Gaara gave him a smug look that Naruto punched him in the arm for. Gaara immediately retaliated.

"Asshole." Naruto laughed. He was surprised to note he felt an odd relief. He'd never had to fake his way through a handjob before. "Damn, though. She was hot, right?"

"I guess."

Naruto glared at him. "Where were you anyway? You disappeared."

"I had some spare weed to sell," Gaara answered nonchalantly.

"Oh man, seriously? Are you still dealing? Shit, if we'd been caught - "

"We weren't. When did you become such a pussy, Uzumaki?"

"I'm not a pussy." Naruto stuck his tongue out. "I'd just prefer not to go to jail."

"It's not like you have it on you, so who cares?"

After running a few blocks, they stopped only for Naruto to realize he wasn't sure where they were, but at least there were streetlights and the area didn't look too unsafe.

"Why don't you call your brother?" Naruto suggested, bending over with his hands on his knees as he tried to catch his breath.

"I already did before we left the house. He'll meet us at the Marathon gas station off of Wheeler Avenue."

"Damn, that's kinda far." Naruto shivered. "It's gettin' fuckin' cold, and I don't even have a coat."

Gaara pulled out his lighter and started flicking it on and off. "You'll survive."

"So, uh. You didn't, y'know, see anything, right?" Naruto asked, bumping into his side playfully. "Nothin' you'll need a therapist for?"

"I've seen your dick before if that's what you're asking."

"Yeah, but you've never seen anyone handling it," Naruto muttered.

"Thankfully."

Naruto gave him a push toward the edge of the road. All Gaara did was smirk.

"Maybe you can ask Temari to pick up where she left off," he suggested.

Naruto's face flushed. "Shut up!"

That wouldn't take nearly as much concentration to get it up properly, with or without images of Sasuke randomly appearing in his brain.

"What's wrong?" Gaara asked.

"Huh?"

"You just went all bipolar in your face. You don't like my sister anymore?"

"No, it wasn't that." Naruto shrugged his shoulders, shivering again from the cold. "I was thinkin' about somethin' else is all."

"Someone who wouldn't appreciate that handjob you were getting?"

"Er…" Naruto rubbed at his nose. "Heh."

"What? Are you screwing around on some girl you have back in Seattle?" Gaara asked as if the notion of Naruto cheating would be greatly surprising to him.

"I'm not datin' anybody," he said. "What's with that tone like you'd be offended if I was?"

Gaara gave him one of those inscrutable looks.

"What?" Naruto asked.

"You like someone."

"Huh? How can you tell?"

"So, you do like someone?"

Naruto bit his lip as he stared straight ahead, not giving an answer.

"Why is it a big deal for you to say so?" Gaara asked. "It's not like I care. I'm only asking."

"Yeah, well. Tryin' to forget that I like them."

"'Them'?" Gaara sent him a curious look.

Naruto forgot how perceptive his friend could be.

"Nevermind. I'm not in the mood to talk about it right now if that's cool."

"Sure," said Gaara. "That's cool."

"By the way, do you have any of that spare weed leftover for when we get back to your place?"

"Yeah, if you have $40."

"Forty?" Naruto shouted and then lowered his voice. "Tch."

"For another $20 maybe I'll throw in a handjob."

"Alright, that's it."

Naruto lunged at him and put Gaara in a headlock for all of three seconds before the ginger-haired teen punched him in the stomach without holding back. He coughed a couple of times and let him go.

"Asshole!"

Naruto stumbled toward him and threw an arm around his shoulders.

"Shit, I missed you, Gaara. Even though our friendship is so damn abusive. You must be from where I learned to like it so rough."

"Gross."

He chuckled. "Ah, I really did miss you, you sassy, eyebrowless bastard."

Despite being invited to spend the night at Rin's, Sasuke had maxed out his tolerance for socializing by 11 p.m. He felt like walking around on his own for a while and eventually found himself on a bus headed further downtown. It was the bus he normally took when going to Naruto's apartment, so it was likely out of habit. He had no plans, no one he wanted to call, and he'd be stuck carrying around his guitar wherever he went. Considering what happened last he stayed with Yagura, Sasuke decided to take out his phone and text Jiroubou. He figured since it was starting to snow his parents wouldn't mind if he spent the night. The good thing about Jiroubou was that he, besides Kimimaro, was the most even-tempered of the bunch, and he could do without drama.

It was only a minute later that Jiroubou gave him the green light to swing by and crash on his couch. Sasuke got off at his stop. It was about a four-block walk to the apartment. For a Saturday night, there weren't a lot of people out. Talking with Rin tonight had put him in a weird mood. What would he do if Naruto came back next week and called her or asked her out? What was Naruto doing anyway? Was he angry that Sasuke hadn't called or was he used to it?

Given their conversation Sunday, it didn't seem like Naruto would want to talk. He understood why, even if a part of his brain tried to argue Naruto was overreacting. If he needed time, then that was fine, but should he assume from now on there were no ties between them? When Naruto came home, should he try to see him or talk to him? It was hard to say given that he'd never known Naruto to be cold to him. Either Naruto was finished with him, or it was his way of distancing himself because he was tired of being hurt. Both explanations were plausible. But, what did Naruto want from him? What, in his idiotic blond head did he fantasize Sasuke should do? Run into his arms and accept his offer of a relationship despite his own hesitations and concerns?

It was also confusing for him because Sasuke had never been in this type of situation. He didn't have close friends, he'd never dated. Naruto had lots of friends and had several relationships under his belt. Maybe he should just blame Naruto for being moronic enough to fall for him of all people. Who's to say he'd make a good boyfriend? Just look at Itachi's dysfunctional group of friends. Who was he supposed to be modeling exactly? Yahiko was the only one who'd been in a long-term relationship, but he and Konan took breaks away from each other all time. No wonder he was so screwed up when it came to romance.

His thoughts kept circuiting through the same self-deprecating loop until he arrived at Jiroubou's building. Sasuke punched the button and waited to be buzzed in, and, walking through the door, shifted his guitar so that it hung at his side when he stepped into the tiny elevator. He was still a little out of it by the time he knocked on Jiroubou's door and waited for him to answer.

The door opened, and Jiroubou greeted him by taking his guitar off his shoulder.

"You look like shit," he told Sasuke.

"Thanks?" Sasuke followed him in, shutting the door behind and locking it.

He watched as the older man leaned the guitar against the wall next to the TV, which was turned to a Discovery channel program about great white sharks.

"So, what were you out doing at this hour?" Jiroubou asked. "You didn't have a show, did you?"

Sasuke unzipped his coat. "I was visiting a friend. The lead singer of that band I played with last Saturday."

Since he was used to being here, Sasuke put his jacket away in the closet, having already left his shoes next to the mat in front of the door.

"Right, right. I saw that on your Twitter. Sorry I couldn't make it. I had a date that night."

"Oh?" Sasuke asked as he took a seat on the sofa. "You didn't mention it yesterday."

"Trying to keep it low profile." Jiroubou grabbed the remote and muted the TV. "Do you want a beer or something else to drink?"

"I'm fine. So, how was your date? Was this with Kisame again?"

"It was," Jiroubou answered. "I'd say it was good. We usually just went to his place or my place to fuck, so it's interesting we're going out to eat and talking instead of, well. I'll spare you the details."

He made a face. "Thanks, I think. But, I don't mind. Why doesn't he hang out when everybody else does is what I've always wondered. He and Itachi used to be close, but now I'm not sure they ever talk. Did something happen? My brother's never said."

The man shrugged. "Couldn't say. I'd have to ask him. He works a lot. It's tough for me to get a hold of him. I don't think it's anything personal. He's not so fond of Deidara, though. Or Hidan."

"Lots of people aren't, but Deidara's harmless. So is Hidan for the most part."

"I suppose you're right." Jiroubou gave him a long look. "How are you, though? You looked kinda out of it when I answered the door. You doin' okay?"

"How do you mean?"

"You know, with the whole Naruto thing."

Sasuke narrowed his eyes. "Is that all anyone can bring up when I'm around?"

"Let's be honest. We all knew you were texting him last night. If that's you 'moving on', you're not doing a very good job, but no, we don't have to talk about it. I figured that's what was on your mind tonight, but if it's not, we can talk about somethin' else."

Sasuke sat back against the couch and dropped his clasped hands in his lap with a heavy sigh. "I'm tired of thinking about it. It's all people talk to me about, it's all I think about. I don't know what I want or what he wants or how to fix any of it or if I want to."

"Okay." Jiroubou nodded slowly. "Do you want to talk about it or not because you sound like you do. We can walk through it. I've known you longer than him, so I'd really like to help you if I can, Sasuke. I know what it's like to be in tough situations with men. If I can offer advice, I'll try."

"You won't repeat any of what I say to Itachi?" He asked. "Or any of the other guys?"

"No. It's between you and I," Jiroubou assured. "Scout's honor."

He tilted his head up, glancing at the ceiling, and shut his eyes. "I haven't told him how I feel. I mean, how I feel about him. He thinks I don't care, so he's set on moving on as his next step. He doesn't think of me as a friend. I'm not good at," Sasuke sighed again and, restless, leaned forward on the couch and cracked his knuckles. "I don't know how to fix it."

"Do you want to fix it?" Jiroubou kept giving him that overly-concerned look. "Do you want to be friends with Naruto?"

"How can you be friends with someone after what happened between us? I can't give him what he wants. If he can't stand being around me - "

"Did you ask?" Jiroubou interrupted. "What it is Naruto wants?"

"I know he wants an apology."

"Wait, you haven't even done that yet?"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow.

"Sorry, I said I wouldn't judge. I can do this, but, Sasuke, that's where you start. With an apology."

"I should apologize for being honest?"

"He's not asking for an apology because you shot him down, is he? He's asking for an apology for the way you shot him down. We all heard about it from Itachi and Yahiko. That's not how you turn someone down, Sasuke. You know better than that."

"I was angry at the time," he replied. "It's not like I meant - " Sasuke huffed. "If he knew me at all, he should understand."

"I think he'd argue that if you knew him, you would've apologized by now because you care about him and he's your closest friend."

Sasuke glanced away and muttered, "You make it sound so easy."

"Apologizing is never easy, but it's what you do when you love someone. Or, you do it because it's the right thing to do."

"I don't think he'll give me the opportunity."

"I think he will. You just have to pick the right time to do it."

"But he gets angry with me every time we talk now. What am I supposed to do, blurt it out before he has a chance to throw a tantrum?"

Jiroubou frowned. "I'm going to be blunt, and it's not meant to hurt your feelings, but you need to care a little bit more about Naruto and his feelings than yours right now. You already made it clear you didn't want to date him. That's done. Now, what you need to do is repair your friendship. But, if you don't want to be friends with him, then I guess you let him go and give him the space he needs to get over you however he needs to do it."

"Is being with a guy always going to be this complicated?" Sasuke asked.

"Only with the ones who are worth your time and you really care about."

He nodded. "Do I… wait until he gets back?"

"A face to face apology has more meaning, but," Jiroubou rubbed at the stubble on his rounded chin. "You've really let this go on for a long time. The longer you wait, the harder it may be for him to forgive you. If it's his forgiveness you want."

"I don't know what I want."

"Do you miss him?"

"..."

Jiroubou let out a bark of laughter. "You can't even be honest with yourself, Sasuke. You're killin' me here."

"Being honest won't get us anywhere," he replied coldly. "If I was to be honest with Naruto about how I feel, it wouldn't change the situation. It may make it more difficult, especially for him."

"Him? Or do you mean it makes it more difficult for you? No matter what, you don't want to come out to your parents, isn't that right?"

He nodded. "More or less. It's my choice."

"Is Naruto pressuring you to come out?"

"Not directly, but not wanting to date me unless I do is its own type of pressure." Sasuke ruffled the hair at the back of his head, causing a piece of bang to fall over one of his eyes.

"Wait, he's tried to convince you since then despite you tellin' him you don't want to come out?" Jiroubou asked.

"...Not exactly."

"So… he's respected your decision and has withdrawn from bein' around you." The older man nodded as if he understood everything, which Sasuke knew he didn't. "Maybe you should leave him alone. When you think about it, you did a harsh thing, but you're right, you told him how you felt, and as much as I love the kid, he has to respect your decision. But…"

"What?" He asked irritably. "Going to tell me to grovel on my hands and knees?"

"My question would be: Why wouldn't you want to? The kid confessed to you, he's in love with you. Don't you feel the slightest bit sorry for him after the way you handled it?"

"I don't because I think he's going to be better off."

Jiroubou tilted his head to the side as if he were confused. "I don't understand. I hope you don't mean you pushed him away because you think you're not worthy of him?"

Sasuke shrugged. "Who knows. I don't think even I know the reason anymore."

"If you talked to him, maybe you can figure it out. Send him a text, let him know you're thinking about him. Tell him you want to meet up when he gets back, let him feel like it's on his terms."

"I… guess I could call him and… casually ask if he could fit me into his busy schedule," he commented with more than a hint of sarcasm.

"Stop makin' it about you and start making it about Naruto and what you need to say to him to keep him on as a friend. Decide if you want that and if you do, you really gotta stop fuckin' up, my man."

Jiroubou then got to his feet and rubbed at his rather robust red cheeks.

"I'm exhausted just talkin' about it," said the older man. "So, if this is all you've got goin' on in your head right now, no wonder you look exhausted. Why don't you chill out here for the night, watch some mindless TV, and sleep in. Stop thinkin' about it, and… I dunno. Bite the bullet and apologize, or move the fuck on. That's all I got, but I'm going to bed. You know where everything is, so I'll leave you to it, Sasuke." He walked over to him and set a hand on his shoulder. "In the end, I know you'll do the right thing, kiddo."

Sasuke didn't respond. He turned his gaze to the TV - still on mute - as a large shark leapt out of the water to chomp down on a sea lion. Why couldn't life be as uncomplicated as nature? Nature was harsh and terrible and cruel, but humans tried to convince themselves that they weren't animals by imposing all types of morals and ethics on one another. Good and evil were simply social constructs in his opinion. They were guidelines to live by because people were as terrified of chaos as they were each other. It was almost laughable, and yet he knew Naruto would argue the opposite. That there was glory and honor in being righteous and good.

But, is that who Sasuke was? Was he that type of person? An idealist? Hardly. Being around Naruto this long had confused him. He used to be a lot more cynical. Although, he'd prefer to call himself a realist. Weren't Naruto's ideals just a shield he wore to cope with the the bad things that happened in his life? Isn't that what any idealist did? They needed some sort of excuse, some justification for why life is innately indifferent toward anyone's feelings.

The longer he sat on the couch, the darker his thoughts became, so he got up and stripped down to his boxers. He found some sheets and blankets in a closet and haphazardly put them together on the pull-out sofa. Sasuke ended up changing the channel until, finally, he simply turned off the TV. He lay in the dark a long while, thinking but without being able to focus on one particular train of thought. There was a voice inside his head that kept telling him he hadn't done anything that wrong, and yet his heart was… what did it mean if he wanted Naruto here right now? Was it because he'd become used to it and it was habit, or… did he need Naruto? How could they possibly balance a friendship after what happened? Were they even capable of being just friends? He was scared to admit that he didn't feel confident they could. It scared him more that Naruto pulling away from him meant that he didn't see it as possible either, and that idiot believed anything was possible. So, what did that mean for them and their future?

Rolling to the edge of the thin mattress, Sasuke grabbed his jeans and pulled out his phone. He checked his messages - one from Rin, another from a person he met at the party, and a third from Itachi - and then he hit the icon for his contacts, scrolling all the way to Naruto's name. It would be late there. Illinois was two hours ahead of the West Coast. Would he be out with friends, or would he be asleep? Should he send a text? Then again, if he texted, Naruto was more likely to ignore it. If he called, Naruto would answer, wouldn't he? He debated for so long his bottom lip was raw by the time he realized he'd been biting into it. His finger pressed down, and it was too late to stop the phone from ringing. If he hung up now, Naruto would think he'd chickened out, so he waited.

It rang once, twice, three times…

"Hello?"

Sasuke didn't have a response because it was a woman's voice, and she sounded annoyed at having to answer the phone.

"Is… Naruto there?" He asked.

"God, do you know what time it is? Naruto's in the shower. Do you want me take a message or could you call him back during normal hours when the rest of the world isn't sleeping?"

If he'd ever wished he could reach through a phone to strangle someone, now would be that time. Sasuke grit his teeth.

"Can you just tell him Sasuke called."

"Sasuke? Is this a friend of his in Seattle?"

"Will you give him the message or not?" He asked curtly.

"Huh? Not with that attitude. I'm sure he'll see that you called, and if he wants to talk to you, he'll call back when he realizes he left his phone in my bed."

Who the hell is this?

"Excuse me," he said nastily, wondering if this was someone Naruto had stupidly picked up at one of these dumb parties he kept going to. "But does he even know you have his phone? Did he give you permission to answer his phone while he's in the shower? Who are you?"

"Maybe I'm his girlfriend, what's it to you? I can answer his phone if I want. I sure as hell know him better than you do. As for who I am, my name's Temari. Nice talking to you, Sasuke."

She hung up on him.

Temari? Who the fuck was that?

In his anger and disgust, he shut off his phone and dropped it on the floor, rolling to the other side of the mattress. What the hell reason would Naruto have to let some random bitch he was screwing answer his phone? If he needed a sign, this was it. He'd tried. He'd given it a shot, but having to talk to some random Midwestern slut with no manners had pushed him past his breaking point. Naruto could do what and whomever he wanted, and Sasuke did not care.

TBC