a/n: I swear it's a miracle I finished this, and Naruto didn't come out as dark as I'd planned. Stories do what they want, I suppose. If you'd like to buy me a coffee to help keep the writing coming, please see profile.

Boy, when I left you, you were young
I was gone, but not my love
You were clearly meant for more
Than a life lost in the war

"Youth", Glass Animals

This fic is dedicated to netamashii.

After being abandoned by Itachi and his friends, Sasuke sat alone at the bar, pressing his fingertips to the glass and staring at the prints left behind when he lifted them. Looking around, there were plenty of patrons, but the background noise seemed set to a low static. The jukebox played, though. Ironically, the lyrics came out crystal clear, holding his focus. The bartender was nearby, washing and drying glasses. Absently, he slipped a hand into his jacket pocket, feeling for his phone even if he was well aware it wasn't going to ring or vibrate with a message anytime soon. Sasuke, staring into his half-empty glass, glanced up when the song abruptly stopped. In front of the jukebox stood an older man with bright blond hair that spiked in the back.

Tipsy, his gaze began to casually rove down and up the length of the man's body, more out of curiosity than any real interest because, for an instant, he thought: Naruto?

However, it didn't take long for his brain to remind him Naruto wasn't in Seattle. He'd escaped to Illinois and was likely fucking some random high school girl with big tits and a nice face.

Still, his eyes lingered on the man while he was making his song selections. He had on a brown bomber jacket, gray hoodie, and pair of blue jeans that showed off his long legs and (in Sasuke's objective opinion) firm ass. From his height and build—and only seeing the side profile of his face—Sasuke might put him in his early to mid 20s. This was a bar he often came to with Itachi, so he knew a lot of the regulars, but this person didn't appear familiar. A tourist? But who would come to Seattle and go to a bar by himself? Did he find that adventurous or sad? The new song began, and Sasuke's heart stuttered to a stop at the familiar quick rhythm of the drums and soft-spoken vocals. Well, at least the blond stranger had good taste in music.

After having stared for far too long to be cool, Sasuke looked away. Instead of ogling the man's backside, he gazed into his glass, the ice having already melted into the remaining alcohol.

While I slept, you crept in and pulled the rug right out from under me.

Unable to help himself, Sasuke glanced up again, eyeing the blond while he continued standing so conspicuously in front of the jukebox. Most of the night his troubled thoughts had been focused on Naruto, so seeing this person was very distracting and even a little disturbing.

Then the rain stole away and took the parts that kept me functioning.

When the stranger turned around—for the briefest of moments—their eyes met, and Sasuke clutched the glass so hard it should have shattered.

My heart will be blacker than your eyes when I'm through with you.

Blue. The kind of blue that kept him awake at night. Deep and usually filled with humor. But, these were strange to him. Cold. Distant. Intense and assessing. Judging.

"Naruto," he said under his breath.

Except, not Naruto. Clearly. That would be impossible.

And I said, this life ain't no love song while I marched on blindly.

The man abruptly averted his gaze as if annoyed or made uncomfortable by Sasuke's unsolicited attention. He started walking toward the bar. The bartender went over to ask his order the moment the older man sat down. He chose a stool on the opposite side of the bar, an entire collection of assorted liquor bottles between them. It wasn't typical for him to stare so obviously, but it also wasn't normal for him to run into a Naruto clone. Well… an older version.

When their eyes had met earlier, he'd felt… familiarity? Not only because he looked like Naruto, but the way he'd stared back at Sasuke. There was…

You burned me, yeah you've burned me, yeah you've burned me now one too many times.

He flinched. Recognition. There had been recognition.

My thoughts are the cold kind, I've got storm clouds that are brewing behind my eyes.

Once more, the man glanced his way after receiving his drink. It was a flat, unwelcoming look he sent Sasuke, and yet he knew instinctively it wasn't the blond's natural expression. They didn't know each other, but he could sense his hostility. The intensity of it didn't seem warranted given that they were strangers. Could it be someone he'd pissed off at a gig? If he'd been drunk at the time, it'd be hard to say for sure. Being personable was more Naruto's thing, after all.

And my heart will be blacker than your eyes when I'm through with you.

Sasuke felt edgy now. Paranoid. Angry even. What had he ever done to him? All because he kept staring? Because he was young and at a bar? Sasuke wondered if he was drunk enough to go over and confront him only to remember that social interaction, especially while inebriated, wasn't necessarily a smart idea. Therefore, all he do about this injustice was settle for a glare.

When he got tired of how ineffectual that was, he pulled out his phone to stop himself from thinking about the stranger (or Naruto) any further.

Later, as he was scrolling through his Twitter feed, he was approached by the bartender. Sasuke glanced up when the man set a napkin and cocktail in front of him.

"What's this?" He asked.

"A vodka and coke." The bartender, whom he knew quite well, smirked knowingly.

Sasuke frowned. "I mean, why are you giving me something I didn't order?"

"You must have an admirer," the bartender answered before walking away to attend to a couple of brunettes who'd just walked in and sat down at the bar.

When Sasuke's gaze travelled from the two giggling women to the other side of the bar, he noticed the blond stranger was no longer there and felt an unexpected pang of disappointment.

"Looking for someone?" A low, husky voice spoke next to his ear, and, rather than jump, he felt goosebumps rise along the back of his neck.

Turning his head slowly in the direction of the voice, Sasuke, again, felt absolutely sure this had to be an immediate relation of Naruto's. They even shared a similar posture. The blond man had his hands inside his jean pockets, shoulders slightly hunched in a boyish manner as he stood there with a shit-eating grin, deep blue eyes less cold than earlier and almost… twinkling.

He didn't know what to say.

"That's not your drink?" The man asked, nodding at the glass. "It's usually what you order."

"W-what?" Sasuke's throat had gone dry and it seemed his brain was doing a very poor job at processing the situation at hand.

"Mind if I sit?"

He turned his body toward the man, drawn to him solely because of his resemblance to Naruto.

It should be Naruto.

Being a Dr. Who fan, he briefly contemplated the possibility of time travel before remembering he'd been asked a question, and this Naruto doppelganger wouldn't stop staring at him with this look. Like he knew Sasuke—everything about him—and was just fucking with him.

"Who are you?" He asked warily, watching as the stranger took a seat beside him.

Sasuke's eyes strayed to the blond's fingertips, which appeared well-manicured (not very Naruto-like since Naruto was forever scraping the dirt out from under his nails). The two of them were near enough that when the man pulled the stool toward the bar, their elbows bumped. Involuntarily, Sasuke sucked in a breath, goosebumps violently spreading across both arms.

Meanwhile, the bartender returned, and the stranger ordered a Manhattan.

"Not my usual drink," he said to Sasuke once the bartender left them alone. "But I was in the mood for somethin' stronger. You gonna drink that?"

"You ordered this for me?" He asked, his voice cracking in his surprise. He found himself irritated it had much higher pitch in comparison to the this guy's deeper voice.

"I did. I wouldn't have given you're clearly under age, but… you already had one in front of ya, so I took a shot. It'd be one helluva magic trick if y'think I slipped somethin' in it."

Sasuke stared at the drink like it was poison. "You saying that makes it even more suspicious." He pushed it to the side. "I don't usually accept drinks from strangers."

The man leaned into his space. "...Are we strangers?"

Sasuke gave him a sidelong glance. "Aren't we?"

The blond laughed and, other than sounding older, it was definitely Naruto's laugh. It was so odd and surreal to him, he almost felt like he was having an out-of-body experience or, at the very least, an extremely lucid dream. But, he felt grounded, too. He could smell the alcohol and the cologne the other man wore, feel the weight of the clothes on his own body.

"You look," said the man, bright eyes searching Sasuke's face, "So young. It's killin' me."

"Excuse me?" Out of reflex, Sasuke put more space between them.

"Don't get the wrong idea. I'm not interested in you so long as you're jailbait."

"What the hell are you talking about?" He asked. "If you're some kind of creep—"

The way the man narrowed his eyes, Sasuke lost his train of thought. Was it strange to compare that look of disapproval to the one he'd received from his brother many, many times?

"What's wrong?" The blond asked, the furrow between his brows smoothing out somewhat.

"I don't… feel well." Sliding a piece of hair behind his ear first, Sasuke rubbed at his right temple. His head felt so odd, like it was full of cotton.

"You don't know what's goin' on at all, do you?" The man sighed heavily. "And here I thought you were the smart one."

His head jerking up at the very Naruto-esque comment, Sasuke shot him a withering glare. "Why are you fucking with me? Did someone put you up to this?"

"Wow. You're pretty paranoid, huh? Oh, man. This would be kinda funny if it wasn't already pretty disturbing. I'm not used to bein' the sadist in this relationship. Heh."

"...Relationship?" Sasuke murmured, the heavy feeling in his head only getting worse.

"Do you know that interview question employers like to ask?" The blond took a sip of his drink before continuing in a calm voice. "Where do you see yourself in five years?"

"I guess," he answered, feeling especially shaky right now.

"Well." The stranger angled his body toward Sasuke. "Where do you see yourself in five years?"

"Why? Are you interviewing me for a job?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Fuck, yeah, I would if I was in any position to." The blond laughed while he ran a hand through his blond spikes, eventually tucking it behind an ear. "You're the smartest guy I know. Even at this age, I bet you're still smarter than I'll ever be, even after I finally finish this MBA."

"You study business?" Sasuke, not able to follow the conversation very well, began to assume that this person was either mentally unbalanced or completely wasted.

"Sure. Thought it might come in handy. Already had a business degree, but why not add another one on top of it?"

"Sounds like something my father might say," he muttered.

"Oh, yeah?"

Without being aware of it, Sasuke grabbed his glass and drank at least half in one swallow. Afterward, he set it down and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

"You seem troubled."

Sasuke glanced unsteadily at the blond again, licking the residual alcohol from his lips. "You're all kinds of fucked up, aren't you?"

Smiling, the man settled his elbow on the bartop, cradling his face in one hand. "You think so? Do I seem crazy? The situation is crazy, that's for sure."

"What situation?"

"Wow, just how deep does your denial run?" The stranger chuckled, but then his jovial expression abruptly became more pensive and brooding.

Sasuke stared hard, studying his features again. A part of him still thought—absolutely—this was simply an older Naruto. But the impossibility of it, of course, kept his brain from acknowledging such a ridiculous notion. Was he drunk? Was it wishful thinking?

"You didn't answer my question," said the man, voice nearly a whisper.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "I don't even get why you're asking."

The corner of the blond's mouth curled upward. "Call it… curiosity."

"Right." Sasuke picked up his drink again. "Sounds like a really terrible pick-up line if you ask me. Doesn't help that it was preceeded by your acknowledgment that I'm, as you put it, 'jailbait'. Which, just so we're clear, the age of consent in the state of Washington is 16."

"Is that some kind of invitation?" The man, before Sasuke could take a sip, snatched the glass out of his hand and drank the rest.

Sasuke froze the instant their hands brushed. He watched the blond swallow, and like he'd done earlier, wipe his mouth clean with the back of his hand. Sasuke caught himself staring at the man's fingernails again, which is when he noticed what he assumed to be a wedding band.

"You're married?" Sasuke breathed out incredulously. "Does your wife know you're here?"

"Husband," the man corrected with a chuckle. "Or fiancé, rather."

"Why are you laughing?" Sasuke asked, feeling himself growing angry. "Do you think it's funny that you have a fiancé, but you're here at some bar, hitting on a 17 year old?"

"He would probably find this pretty amusing, yeah."

The stranger set down the glass with a thud that rattled the ice cubes inside. He waved the bartender over, ordering two additional drinks (Sasuke presumed one was for him). A few minutes of silence ensued between them until they received their cocktails. The older man held his drink, staring into his glass contemplatively as he swirled it around in circles, a small smirk playing at his lips. In an effort to soothe his nerves, Sasuke picked up his drink and sniffed, this time without questioning the stranger's motives. The longer they sat together, the more Sasuke felt a bubbling sense of familiarity. The silence became less awkward and more… tolerable.

"You're not from Seattle," Sasuke said, his voice low.

"Nope."

He glanced over, at those blue eyes that were so penetrating and clear. It reminded him of what Naruto looked like during his more perceptive moods. The instances in which he was most inclined to call Sasuke out on his bullshit. A side of Naruto that not many people but him knew.

"You know where I'm from," said the blond.

"Oh, do I? I hope this isn't where you say I know you from my dreams."

The man laughed, slapping his palm down on the bar. "God, you really are fuckin' cute."

"Excuse me?" Sasuke's fingers tightened around the base of his glass.

"Like, you as a teenager. Honestly. For me, it helps put the puzzle pieces together a little more. I don't mean to sound condescending either, by the way."

"Is that so?" He asked. "As if I'd be bothered by anything you'd say."

Suddenly, the blond slid his arm around the back of the chair, not quite making physical contact but Sasuke could feel the warmth of his body. It raised the hair along the back of Sasuke's neck.

"What are you doing?" He asked, tilting his head ever so slightly in the man's direction.

"I feel… protective." The blond set his eyes on Sasuke. "It's weird."

"Yes," he replied dryly. "It is. Just so we're clear. I know this bartender well. He's a friend of my brother's who, if he knew someone like you was hitting on me, would break your legs in an instant."

"Hm." The blond rubbed at his chin. "I'm not used to you relying on your brother for protection."

He kept his eyes on Sasuke while taking another sip of his liquor.

"You know Itachi?" He asked disbelievingly, brows raising in surprise.

The stranger nodded. "I do. Pretty well, I'd say. He's my buddy."

"Then how come I've never seen you before?"

For whatever reason, he was struck by another wave of dizziness. It felt like he was missing something very important here.

"I guess you have," replied the blond. "But I suppose I look a little different to you now."

"What does that mean?" He inquired, unable to quell his growing anxiety.

"Think about it, Sasuke," the blond told him, leaning in so close he could smell the alcohol on the man's breath. Not to mention, his hormones had an instant reaction, as well. "You know me."

"I don't," he whispered, trying to will his teenage body not to react to their proximity.

"Usually you're all too willing to say my name," the man replied, his voice unmistakably huskier than earlier. "Ah, shit." He backed away, though. "That sounded creepy even to me."

The stranger removed his arm from around the back of his seat and put some distance between them. He rubbed the back of his head exactly the way Naruto did so often when embarrassed.

"Naruto," Sasuke said in a quiet voice, and the blond abruptly stared at him… then smiled.

"Took you long enough."

Despite having been the one to say it, it didn't stop Sasuke from staring at the blue-eyed man in disbelief.

"Impossible," he breathed.

"Hmm. Not impossible," said the older man. "Because… well." This Naruto glanced around the bar. "None of this is real anyway."

"...Not real?" Sasuke questioned.

"Mm. I am..." The blond nodded, a crease forming between his eyebrows. "A figment of your subconscious, so to speak. Freud. Jung and all that stuff. You're more into those things than me, but I'm guessin' everything comes back to havin' a dick or unresolved issues with your mo—"

Naruto stopped all of a sudden, his gaze narrowing at him in a disconcerting manner. The way he cut himself off gave Sasuke pause and filled him with a sense of foreboding.

"Why did you stop?"

The man forced a smile. "Not important. I'd guess that there's a reason I'm here. Somethin' you need to ask me? Unresolved issues in your waking life I can help you sort through?"

"As if." Sasuke scoffed. "You don't know me."

"I know everything you know and more, including the stuff you don't want to acknowledge."

He couldn't help a snort. "What is it you think I'm not acknowledging?"

"Oh, I dunno. How's your love life goin', Sasuke?"

Having been in the middle of taking a drink, Sasuke started to choke. Naruto slapped him on the back a couple of times, laughing at him all the while. He sent the older man a glare.

"Fuck off."

"You're the one in control. If you don't want me here, you should be able to get rid of me… but considering I am here, I'd say there's a reason for it. Am I right?"

"Tch." Sasuke dug his incisor into his bottom lip. "Alright, if you know me so well. What am I thinking about right now?"

"Right now?" Naruto hummed while drumming his fingers over the bartop. "You're tryin' to hide the fact you're sexually attracted to me 'cause then you feel like you won't have the upper-hand while we talk, which you shouldn't anyway 'cause I'm older than you. Obviously."

Sasuke blinked at him, hardly willing to acknowledge even to himself that Naruto was right on the money. "If you really are just a manifestation created by my brain… you're not anyone. You're not even real."

"You never know," said Naruto. "I gotta come from somewhere, but I can only imagine your teenage brain has warped me just a little. I don't feel quite myself if I'm bein' honest."

"Are you even listening to yourself?"

"I am, yeah." Naruto, rubbing the back of his neck, chuckled for the umpteenth time. "It does sound kinda crazy. Then again, this is the sorta thing you'd expect to hear me say, yeah?"

Sasuke decided not to acknowledge the question with anything other than an unintelligible noise of disgruntlement. Even for him, this was a little too much. A dream? Now that he thought about it, it made sense. Not like he hadn't had dreams before where he'd become aware he was dreaming. Figures that as much as his mind had been on Naruto these past few days (read: months), that his brain would pull something like this. Why he was dreaming of an adult Naruto, he wasn't quite sure. Despite it being a dream, Sasuke felt a sudden urge to urinate.

"I… need to use the restroom," he muttered, attempting to get up from the stool.

When he stood with a slight wobble, Naruto was there to grab him by the arm, keeping him upright. The contact sent tantalizing shocks throughout his body. Their eyes met, and the way Naruto looked at him caused him to experience some not so innocent thoughts. It confused him, made him angry even, so Sasuke pulled away and headed toward the bathroom. By the time he went inside, he no longer needed to go. Rather, he felt lightheaded. Sasuke, pushing open one of the stall doors, closed and locked it behind him. He leaned against it, pressing his hand to the door as his hair fell across his eyes. Like on Nightmare on Elm Street, if this was his dream, couldn't he take control of it? As this older version of Naruto had suggested, wasn't it possible to will him away if he didn't want him here? Could he wake himself up from this?

Though he attempted to will himself awake for several minutes, Sasuke still remained standing against the stall door. Eventually, he unlocked the door, pushed it open, and started to walk out only to run smack into Naruto. To stop their bodies from colliding, Naruto had put a hand to his chest. It was so warm. The blond man, being taller and more muscular in comparison, kept Sasuke in place, pinning him with those goddam blue eyes. A sharp sense of melancholy accosted him and made it feel like his knees would give out at any moment. The more he focused on the touch of Naruto's hand, the more he wanted to be wrapped up in his arms.

"Why are you here?" Sasuke whispered, voice distraught. "Why are you doing this to me?"

"I'm not doin' anything to you, Sasuke," Naruto answered quietly, and, ever so gently, grabbed a piece of Sasuke's hair to tuck it behind an ear.

"It's your fucking fault."

Biting his lip, Sasuke raised both of his hands and pushed Naruto in the chest. The fact that it barely had an effect on Naruto caused him to push again and again and again until Naruto was forced to take several steps backward. At first, Naruto remained passive, but after one more push, he grabbed Sasuke's wrists and began walking him back toward the stalls. Naruto shoved him into one, locking the door behind him. The blond looked angry, which excited him for some morbid reason. He wanted them to fight, wanted Naruto to yell and manhandle him so that Sasuke could yell and push back. The emotions from this past month or so welled up inside of him, causing everything inside to crack like so much fragile glass. It spilled out like vomit.

"It's your fault for falling in love with me!" He yelled, trying to free his wrists. "What did you expect to happen? Did you think we'd have a fairytale ending? Did you think I'd come out just for you? Did you really think I could handle a relationship knowing how fucked up I can be? Did you only think of yourself and your own feelings? Didn't it to occur to you that I did love you, but didn't know how to show it? That I rejected you for your own sake? It's your own fault for not knowing how I really feel, for thinking…" His eyes ran back and forth across Naruto's face. "Why… why me? I'm… a broken mess. A coward. You're… I'd ruin you. I'd ruin everything."

When Naruto crushed him in an embrace, Sasuke fought against it by pounding on his chest and struggling. The older man cupped the back of his head. He pressed his lips against Sasuke's hair, kissed him on the forehead, over his closed eyelids, both corners of his mouth.

"You're always your own biggest critic," Naruto whispered between kisses. "Always so hard on yourself. I see so much potential in you. I see exactly what you'll become. You'll be a man I'll love with my whole heart, Sasuke. Absolutely. Naruto will come to know that eventually."

"Eventually?" He repeated, already feeling defeated by these words of prognostication.

"Eventually," Naruto replied, lips brushing against his cheek.

Sasuke managed to wind his arms around Naruto's waist. At first he hesitated, but then he gripped the back of Naruto's leather jacket, squeezing it tight. Like a lifeline. The smell of the leather seemed so real, though. Naruto's smell, too. His Naruto, but not… Naruto.

Sasuke didn't deserve him. Even this dream!Naruto was too good for him.

"Dream!Naruto," Naruto said and chuckled. "Did you really just think that?"

Despite himself, he pressed his forehead to Naruto's shoulder. "Don't read my mind, idiot."

"I could be real." Naruto replied lightly and gave him another squeeze. "Existin' in some other universe. Like your boyfriend, David Tennant."

"Shut up." Sasuke tightened his arms around the older man's waist. "You'd have to be a dream for me to show this side to you. I'm not like this… this isn't me."

"Shh." Naruto settled his chin on top of Sasuke's head. "It's not too late to apologize. It's not too late to repair your friendship with him if you'd stop being stubborn."

"I'm not—" Sasuke began to argue, to pull away, but Naruto dragged him back into his arms.

"Don't run away from me. There will be times in the future that we can't be together, so don't be so quick to run away, jerk."

That thought struck him to the core. All this time he'd been pushing Naruto away, and yet the thought of a real separation between them caused his anxiety to heighten.

"Everything will work out in the end," Naruto spoke softly next to his ear. "You're strong, Sasuke. One of the strongest men I've ever met in my life. I swear it."

"You're… you're only telling me what I want to hear." Sasuke felt himself tearing up. He felt a longing for Naruto, an ache for him that was so strong it was almost debilitating.

"You're the one who conjured me here. Pretty sure you wouldn't let me get away with doin' that. I've only ever been honest with you. I wouldn't be any different now."

"I… I don't know what to do."

There was one final press of lips to his forehead, and Sasuke's eyes snapped open. He found himself alone in his dark room. Sweat had broken out all over his skin. Immediately, he shoved the comforter off of his body and lay a hand atop his chest, breath coming out rather ragged. When he calmed after a few minutes, Sasuke's eyes turned to his phone sitting on the nightstand. The compulsion to call Naruto was so strong that he thought he might go crazy if he didn't do it right now. However, the clock read 3 a.m., and he was recalling the last time he'd tried to call Naruto. Sasuke didn't want to risk that again.

Naruto had gone to visit Rin tonight, too, hadn't he? Yes, it made him extremely jealous. It made his anger at Naruto bubble to the surface all over again. It also made him angry at himself.

Eventually.

If he wasn't right for Naruto… if they weren't meant to be together now… what would it take? It was hard to imagine him becoming the type of man—the type of person—that would be worthy of someone like Naruto. Of anyone, really. It was a hard thing to fathom. It was a hard thing to digest, really. Knowing he was so worthless to Naruto, that he'd betrayed and hurt him despite that the blond being the closest friend he'd ever had in his life. Even knowing being with Naruto had changed him, made him want for things he'd never allowed himself to wish for, to even hope for a time when a relationship might be possible, when he could finally be out.

When would that time come? When would he be allowed that freedom? Was it okay to wish for a future where he and Naruto could be happy together? Even if it took years?

Sasuke rolled to the other side, his back to the phone. He shut his eyes tight, imagining this older Naruto and the way he'd so confidently believed in Sasuke's potential.

The fact that it was wishful thinking made him feel so fucking pathetic!

He felt disgusted with himself, and even more so when the tears leaked out the corner of his eyes and slid haphazardly down his cheeks. Sasuke rubbed them away roughly, biting down hard on his bottom lip to the point that he tasted blood soon after. It was so easy to be mad at Naruto, knowing he caused these chaotic emotions. But, he knew it wasn't Naruto at all. It was him and him alone. It was hard to admit, but he knew. There was a chasm between he and Naruto right now. He understood that Naruto probably expected him to be the one to make a move, or maybe he'd given up on Sasuke already and was ready to move on.

No. Naruto wouldn't give up. Sasuke had pushed him away and made him feel like shit.

Still...

He didn't know how to fix it. It was… just too hard to swallow his pride. Even for Naruto.

For a while he lay awake, afraid of falling back asleep and being forced to face Naruto again. But, sleep did come despite his fears. Instead of Naruto, however, Sasuke dreamt of darker themes… something about a car crash, broken glass, and bloody tarps. Luckily, those horrifying details would be completely wiped from his memory upon waking in the morning and replaced by such a paralyzing sense of foreboding and loss that Sasuke was afraid to get out of bed for fear something bad would happen today…

...to someone he knew and loved.

TBC

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