Author's notes:
1. This isn't the final chapter, but I'm praying the next one is.
2. Please find the following songs, listen to them before the chapter if you like: Dean Lewis, "Waves" (the piano version for vocals, acoustic for guitar), and Julia Michaels, "Worst in Me" (stripped version). They're in the Dream Xmas playlist on YT. Email for a link.
3. Reminder: On behalf of myself and all writers everywhere, don't use the review space to only nag about updates or unedited versions of stories. It actually postponed me from updating this chapter, so keep that in mind if you've ever done that to an author. Simple fandom etiquette, folks.
Thank you for your reviews of the chapters. I've been busy IRL, but I read them even if I haven't been able to reply like I used to.
Dedicated to netamashii. Please check out her art on tumblr.
"You'll never guess who I ran—" Sai was saying just as Naruto spotted Rin heading in their direction.
Their small group was gathered on the outskirts of the dance floor. They weren't dancing yet since Gaara was in the middle of one of his infamous mood swings. He was hiding behind a tall lamp and glued to the wall. That way he could interact with people as little as possible. Meanwhile, Naruto automatically grabbed the second drink Sai had in his other hand without asking what was in it. He was too busy waving Rin over to come and join them.
"You changed," Naruto commented on her outfit.
The new shirt she wore showed off a lot more skin than what she had on earlier, so he did his best not to let his gaze linger on her flat stomach.
"Is this gonna be one of those nights where you change every hour? Like an award show?" He asked, still grinning.
"It's nothing," she said, waving a dismissive hand at him. "Someone knocked into me and a drink spilled on it. No big deal."
"Party fouls happenin' already, eh? Sai and I were just dancin'. You shoulda joined us. We've teamed up enough before we could be on Dancing with the Stars."
"Speak for yourself," Sai muttered, and Naruto gave him a light shove.
"I came over because I wanted to let you know, if you didn't already, I mean," Rin flipped her hair over her left shoulder as if nervous. "Sasuke's here."
"Oh." Instinctively, Naruto glanced around the room, but didn't immediately spot him. "That's cool. Good for him. Good that he gets out every once in a while." He scratched the back of his head, trying not to make a big deal about it, however much it surprised him to hear.
"I was about to tell you," Sai interrupted, and Naruto was almost grateful. "I bumped into him in the kitchen." He nodded at Naruto's cup. "I stole that drink from him."
Naruto glanced at it, wanting to question why Sai would be stealing drinks from Sasuke.
"Is this going to be okay?" Rin asked.
"Did he come alone?" He couldn't think of anything else to ask.
"No." She shook her head. "He came with Yagura." Rin abruptly laughed. "Your face says it all."
"Does it?" He covered up the lower half of his face with a hand. "Heh. Guess I can't ever hide how I feel about that guy." Naruto rubbed the back of his neck, eyes roaming the room again. "It's cool, Rin. If I see him, I'll just say hi, and that's it."
Rin broke into a small frown, but she nodded. "Sounds good. So, if your dance card isn't already filled, would you like to dance with me and some of my bandmates?"
"Me?" Naruto smiled. "Hell, yeah."
"Sai, you're welcome to join us," Rin said, smiling.
"I'm definitely game," Sai replied. "What about Gaara?"
Naruto looked over at him; he'd disappeared, however.
"Uh, well. I doubt he'd want to, but he seems to have gone on a bathroom break or somethin'."
"That guy's as moody as Sasuke," Sai said in his ear. "Doesn't it get tiring hanging around such emotionally high-maintenance men? Are you beginning to think you should've given me a shot?"
Naruto chuckled. "Sorry, buddy. You can be just as high-maintenance as them. I think it's clear bein' friends is the best way to keep a good relationship from fallin' apart."
Sai's eyebrow went up, and the teen frowned. "Makes it sound as if you and Sasuke were thinking about a relationship."
He nearly choked on his drink. Rin gave him a slap to his back.
"Even more suspicious," Sai commented, eyeing him closely.
"Enough about Sasuke already," Naruto said when he could breathe again. "I'm just here to have a good time tonight. If he's here, so what, we'll ignore each other like we were doin' at school. No one else should start shit either. There's room enough for both of us here."
"True. I wouldn't mind chatting up that Yagura guy."
"For the last time," said Naruto. "He's not gay. And even if he was, the guy's a dick."
"It's not like I'm looking for a commitment." Sai's gaze was roving the room in a predatory fashion Naruto had seen before when out at clubs together.
Still. He couldn't figure out Sai's obsession with Yagura. Was there something about that guy he was missing? Big dick maybe? It certainly wasn't his glowing personality.
"Well, do whatever you want," he said. "It's New Year's. I guess anything can happen."
"Cool," Sai replied. "Then I'll go look for him now."
"Last I saw he was in the kitchen," Rin mentioned. "I thought he was coming out here, but maybe he went to have a smoke with some of the other musicians."
"Ah, how sexy." Then, he was gone. Leaving them behind to go in search of Yagura.
"Well, you see where his priorities are," Naruto grumbled, glancing up at the strobe light.
"You okay?" Rin stepped closer to him since the dancers behind them were jumping around more thanks to the upbeat Grouplove that just started playing.
"I am, yeah. Why?" He brought the cup to his lips, then paused when he remembered, again, to whom it belonged.
"No reason," answered the singer
Taking him by the hand, Rin turned and led him into the mass of jumping bodies.
The cup almost got knocked out of his hand, but once they were in the floor's center, there were familiar faces: all of Rin's bandmates, including the one who'd been sick that night. He couldn't do much more than wave in greeting, and Rin slid him smoothly into their circle. Not that he was a terribly self-conscious person, but the alcohol he'd already had tonight made it easier to join in. Together, they all danced and laughed. It almost felt like he was beginning to forget all about Sasuke being here. In the back of his mind, he was thinking about what was up Gaara's butt tonight, but decided he was tired of letting everyone else's moods affect constantly affect him. He'd come here to have fun, and Rin seemed to sense that. She was about the only one showing him any consideration. He felt very appreciative of that. Naruto watched her dance with her bassist, the two of them twirling each other in circles and laughing. God they were both cute. Rin was cute. Naruto wanted to kiss her on the cheek.
He brought the cup to his lips, drinking the rest of the alcohol in one gulp. Not to be sentimental, but given that it was New Year's, perhaps the universe was trying to tell him to get rid of the old. All the shit that had been dragging him down. It's not like he could ever forget Sasuke, and he knew deep inside that his feelings for him were still there. The other night he'd had the sense Sasuke felt something, too, but he was back to doubting it again. Of course there had always been a physical attraction between them, but that didn't mean it was romantic. If they bumped into each other, maybe he'd apologize for the other night. Sasuke's attitude hadn't been great, but Naruto felt guilty about making Itachi worry. He almost got where Sasuke was coming from, too. But, if he had his choice right now. This felt good. Simple fun with interesting people. He would be civil to Sasuke for Rin's sake. Maybe it was time for him to start making peace with all of this anyway, or else how would he ever move on? Sasuke didn't seem eager to give him closure either, so he'd have to come to terms with everything on his own.
Not everything had to be about Sasuke all the time. Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke. Yeah, Naruto still had feelings for him. But… just once, maybe tonight could be all about Naruto Uzumaki.
Feeling like the party had become way over-crowded, Sasuke ended up wandering outside where he found Yagura smoking a cigarette and looking up "ponderously" at the sky.
"Sure you haven't had enough of those?" Yagura asked as Sasuke finished off another drink.
"Is there a reason I can't get drunk tonight?"
"Eh. I think you have plenty of reasons to get drunk. If I were you, I don't think I'd ever be sober."
He rolled his eyes. "I'm sure there aren't many days you don't wish you were me."
Yagura cocked his head and smirked. "Well if that wasn't about the cockiest thing I've ever heard you say. But, nah. I've heard about Asians and their dicks. I'll stick with my 9-incher."
He grabbed for Sasuke's hand, edging it toward his thigh, but Sasuke jerked away and glared.
"Am I interrupting something?"
They looked behind them at the apartment entrance and found Sai standing there, smirk in place and appearing annoyingly smug. Sasuke wanted to punch that smirk right off his face, but it would require dropping his cup on the ground and that would be a waste of alcohol.
"You again, huh?" Yagura asked and, much to Sasuke's disgust, was actually smiling. "Who are you? My stalker?"
Sai cut between them, half-shoving Sasuke out of the way and sliding up to Yagura.
"You're a straight-forward kinda guy, aren't you?" Sai asked.
Yagura narrowed his eyes. "I guess, yeah. Why?"
"Are you into men?"
Sasuke had just enough time to turn his head before he spat the drink he'd just taken half-way across the snow-covered sidewalk. A coughing fit had him clutching his chest.
"W-what makes you think I'm into m-men?" Yagura asked.
"I didn't say I thought that, asked if you were," Sai stated matter-of-factly. "I'm trying to save us both time."
While Sasuke was still choking, Sai placed a hand on his shoulder. "You okay?" He asked Sasuke. "Do you need assistance to the bathroom? Should I get Naruto?"
"Fuck off," he replied, removing the teen's hand from off his body. "You deal with this, Yagura. I'm out of here."
"What? No—Sasuke, you're the—"
Yagura clamped his mouth shut when Sasuke sent him a glare. Stumbling toward the door, he managed to get up the stairs to Rin's floor, wanting to simultaneously punch a wall and laugh his head off. Unfortunately, the amount of alcohol in his system didn't allow him to do either. He ended up leaning against the wall once the hallway began to spin. He could hear the fast beat of the music playing in the living room. It hadn't been his intention to avoid the party simply because Naruto was in there, but here he was, loitering outside Rin's door. A few party guests—ones he didn't recognize—gave him odd looks before walking into the apartment.
Sasuke took in a deep breath. Earlier, he'd spotted Naruto dancing with Rin and her friends. It made him feel even guiltier that he kept clinging to this thing that he wasn't even sure existed between them anymore. It also made him incredibly jealous… and lonely.
Another sigh, and he forced himself to go in; after all, he'd made that idiotic resolution to stop caring about what people thought. He walked into Rin's apartment, attempting to avoid making physical contact with anyone (a difficult task given the number of people had now grown to levels that would make the local fire department cry). Unfortunately, the first person he made accidental eye contact with was Gaara. The other teen looked unhappy. Sasuke didn't blame him since he was stuck sitting on the couch beside a couple who couldn't keep their hands off each other. He almost felt sorry for him, but it was also satisfying to know someone was having as miserable a night as he was. Naruto had apparently sold Gaara out to hang with Rin. Yeah, well. Join the club, he thought spitefully. If Gaara wanted to leave, there was the door. It wasn't in Sasuke to do him any favors, especially after the other night.
Thinking he might get in line for the bathroom, Sasuke made a beeline for the hall, but just as he was passing the kitchen entryway, Rin's bassist came running out, nearly smacking into him.
"Sasuke, hey!" She grabbed onto his arm, obviously as drunk as most of the people here. "Where've you been? We were thinkin' of doin' a concert out on the balcony."
"A concert?" He asked, lips twisting into a grimace. "No thanks."
"What? Why?" Fuu pouted. "I want to hear you on the bass, too, but I saw you brought your guitar. Rin's been looking for you, by the way. How about another duet?"
He stared at her, opened his mouth, and replied: "I have to pee."
"Well, I mean. After you pee. Although, have you seen the line? I used Rin's bathroom. I don't think anyone's in there, so you should use it, and as a favor, join us for one or two songs?" She fluttered her eyelashes (why did women think this worked on him?) and tugged at his sleeve. "Pretty please? Everyone's been talking about that night. Come on. Please."
He frowned, not wanting to offend her by pulling away. "I'll think about it."
"Alright, cool! Awesome. I'll tell Rin!"
"You don't—" He tried to say before she skipped off, leaving him unable to protest. "Fuck. Women." Sasuke continued muttering to himself. "No wonder I'm gay."
When he made it to the bathroom line, Fuu was correct about the wait, so he did decide to sneak into Rin's room. Not he could relieve himself without people knocking on the door, Rin's room would be blissfully quiet and free of people. After he opened the door to her room, he glanced around at all her things. Rin's closet remained open from when they'd had to find her an outfit earlier. Sasuke approached her vanity, thoughtfully dragging his palm across the glass top. There was makeup scattered everywhere and several photos taped to the mirror, including one with the both of them in it. But, the longer he stared at it, the fuzzier the image became until he thought he might throw up. Sasuke quickly walked over to the bathroom door, but as he turned the knob, someone pushed open the door from the inside.
"I'm sor-" The person started to apologize until their eyes met.
Naruto.
Sasuke found himself staring into surprised blue eyes.
"It's you," the blond mumbled.
Sasuke couldn't get his mouth to utter a single word.
"You look like you're havin' a good time." Naruto's gaze roved down and then up again.
Sasuke narrowed his eyes at the teen's mild sarcasm. "...You, too."
Naruto shrugged off the comment and rubbed at one of his shoulders like it was sore. "I guess so. Yeah. I, uh. Was surprised you came."
He felt awkward and annoyed. "...It was a last-minute decision. Yagura really wanted to come."
Naruto appeared to frown at the mention of Yagura. "Ah, I see. Cool… well. I'll leave you to do your business."
The other teen started to walk past, but Sasuke didn't immediately move to get out of his way. When Naruto was forced to stop, their shoulders brushed, sending little sparks dancing all across his body and heating him up from inside. He felt almost instantaneously sober.
"Listen," Naruto said, his voice low. "If you're still mad about the other night. I… thought about it, and… I am sorry. For troublin' your brother…" He averted his eyes, "And you."
"...Thank you," Sasuke replied, voice equally as low and a lot more rough.
He was willing Naruto to look at him again, which he did. How long did they stare like that without saying anything? Seconds? Minutes?
"Anyway." Naruto's voice changed and the moment felt broken. "I, uh. Gotta get back to the party. Rin was lookin' for you. Think she wants you to sing." He offered Sasuke a weak (fake) smile before pushing past him and heading to the door. "See ya around, Sasuke."
After Naruto left, Sasuke remained, fingers itching and hands clenched. He rubbed his forefinger and thumb together, feeling the calloused pads.
Sing? Perform?
He was in the mood now. Something dark kept tugging at his guts. Or, maybe more like a yearning. A need for some kind of release, though he didn't quite understand it.
What had that look been on Naruto's face anyway? Why was he being so… formal with him, too? Like how Naruto often was with strangers. A… politeness he set aside for acquaintances. Yet, there had been another one of those brief moments like what he'd felt the other night.
That electricity. That… whatever the fuck that was Sasuke couldn't keep ignoring.
He decided not to think ot it anymore since his full bladder reminded him he needed to use the restroom soon, or he was going to need a change in attire, too.
But... it might not be such a bad idea to show off some by taking Fuu up on the offer to perform with her and Rin. Might as well since it usually led to someone trying to hit on him afterward. If it wasn't going to be Naruto, maybe someone else equally as good at blowjobs.
Then again, he doubted anyone could ever rival Naruto in that department.
Naruto took a few minutes to gather his wits after unexpectedly running into Sasuke like that. Once he'd shut Rin's door, he leaned against it. Sasuke looked… wasted. And flustered, which was confusing and weird. There was a part of him that, as Sasuke's (ex)friend, felt worried. However, he couldn't be Sasuke's keeper anymore, and Sasuke was capable of taking care of himself. If he wanted to hang out with Yagura, or if he wanted to get plastered at a party (isn't that what parties were for?), then… Sasuke could do as he pleased. Considering Sasuke had been avoiding him all this time, Naruto knew when to take a hint.
So, before returning to the kitchen where he'd last seen Rin, he attempted to plaster on a smile and waved when he saw a few people he'd become acquainted with while dancing earlier. The vibe of the party remained lively, and Naruto wouldn't let seeing Sasuke ruin his good mood. It was a funny thought to have, but he was struck by how similar Gaara and Sasuke were. They both pouted when they felt neglected or put out. Like kids.
As Naruto made his way through the crowded kitchen, he eventually found his way to Rin. She was busy chatting excitedly with her green-haired bassist.
"Hey," he greeted both women, offering a friendly wave and a smile. "I… uh. Bumped into Sasuke. Gave him your message about singin'."
"Did you?" Rin asked curiously, drinking from a half-empty cup. "How'd that go?"
Naruto shrugged. "No fights broke out, so I guess that's good."
"Are you on bad terms with Sasuke?" Fuu asked. "It's a love triangle, isn't it? I have a nose for these things!"
"Shut up, Fuu," Rin replied, slapping her on the back. "Besides, it's none of our business. Fuu said she saw him earlier and Sasuke agreed to play on the balcony."
"Oh. He did?" Naruto cocked his head, surprised Sasuke'd been so agreeable about performing at a party. "Heh. Guess I didn't need to mention it to him, after all."
"No… I'm… glad you spoke with him." Rin smiled, but it made him uneasy for some reason. "I thought you two were going to avoid each other all night."
"Me? I've been out in the open. He's—" Naruto bit down on his tongue. "Yeah. Sorry if it's weird for you, Rin. Not my intention to put you in the middle—"
Rin held up her hand, cutting him off. "It's okay. I consider you both to be friends. It'll work out somehow. I'm going to go set up the guitars outside. Come out with the rest in a few, hm?"
"Sure." He nodded, and Rin left, but Fuu stayed.
With Rin gone, Fuu continued to stare at him, the rim of her cup held to her lips.
"You know that's empty, right?" Naruto asked. "Your cup?"
"A gentleman would get me another," she replied, smiling sweetly. "So, what's really going on between you and Sasuke?"
"What makes you think Sasuke and I are even friends?" He asked, taking her cup from her.
Fuu followed him to the liquor cabinet, where he pulled out a couple of bottles. He poured both into a cup along with some orange juice since most women he knew liked fruity drinks.
"I keep hearing things," Fuu answered vaguely.
"What things?"
"Just this and that. Everyone kinda knows which way Sasuke swings… I kinda thought you and Rin were a thing, but now… something's off."
"How is this any of your business again?" He handed her the drink.
"Uuh. I forget. I'm really just curious because… you two would be kind of hot together, but my girl Rin… I want her to be happy, too, Y'know?"
"What do you mean?" He wasn't really able to follow what she was saying. Was he still too sober? He'd had plenty to drink already. Then again, he wasn't exactly a lightweight.
"Because," said Fuu, punching his shoulder. "She's totally into you."
He felt his cheeks immediately flush. "I… Rin and I are only friends."
Uncomfortable, Naruto was eager to remove himself from the conversation, but Fuu grabbed onto his arm when he began to turn away.
"You're not going to hurt her, are you? Because I'll hurt you if you hurt her."
"I'm… not goin' to hurt Rin," he mumbled. "I… like her."
"Oh?" Fuu's eyes got big. "So you do like her?"
"As a friend. Yeah."
"Hmph. Well. You snooze, you lose, bro."
"Thanks," he said irritably. "That's great advice."
Fed up, Naruto did excuse himself finally. He managed to push his way out of the kitchen and into the living room where he was surprised to spot Yagura and Sai standing (close) together against the far wall. Seeing that Gaara was on the couch still, Naruto went over to join him.
"Yo," said Naruto. "You gonna couch surf all night, or what?"
"Seems as appealing as anything else going on," Gaara replied, looking up at him.
"Would you rather go home?" Naruto asked.
"No."
"What can I do to make your time here less miserable?"
"What do you think?" Gaara crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes.
"I'm not sure to be honest, but I bet you're gonna make me guess before you'll tell me."
"You're a real asshole when you drink, Uzumaki."
Naruto frowned. "I hate to tell ya, but I'm not even that drunk. What's up with Sai and Yagura?" He gestured toward the pair, thinking it almost looked as if something were really going on there.
"I would've thought you'd be happy. That the one guy isn't hanging all over Sasuke."
He glanced at Gaara again. "...Is that why you've been broodin' all night? Is this about Sasuke?"
"I don't know Sasuke enough to give a fuck about him, but you apparently do."
"He and I were friends—"
"Don't give me that bullshit, Naruto." Gaara got to his feet and stared him down unrelentingly. "You were more than friends. You were gay for him, he was gay for you, Sai was gay for you, too. Everyone in this city is gay for you, but you don't have the balls to make a choice."
"Choice? You don't know—"
Gaara was glaring. "I don't know what You? I'm sure I know you as well as anybody else on this planet, so don't try to wind me up. It won't work."
Naruto frowned. "Okay, since you know everything, what is it you suggest I do?"
"I told you."
"Uh huh, right." Naruto grabbed at his hairline and sighed. "You want me to just bend him over in the middle of the party? In front of Rin and Sai even? Sai doesn't even know Sasuke's gay."
"Don't care," said Gaara.
"Figures. Easy for you to say when you're only here another couple days."
"You'd rather I hadn't come?"
"I didn't say that," Naruto argued, raising his voice. "Don't put words in my mouth."
"Then go put Sasuke's dick in your mouth. It's obvious to everyone."
"Like I give a fuck what everyone else thinks," he muttered.
"Really?" Gaara asked, moving even closer. "I can't think of someone who cares more about what others think."
Then, he walked away from Naruto.
"The fuck…"
Naruto clenched his fists at his sides. What is it that people wanted from him? Hadn't he done enough by confessing, by giving Sasuke his space after he'd been rejected, by attempting to move on? It's not like he'd ever thought Sasuke would come to the party tonight.
Interrupting his thoughts, the music abruptly got cut off, and the lights were shining down on Fuu and Rin, who had to stand on a table in order to get everyone's attention.
"I know we're not all going to fit, but there's going to be an impromptu performance on the balcony," yelled Fuu. "We'll keep the doors open, so grab your coats if you're cold! By the way, Sasuke Uchiha can you report to the balcony? If anyone sees Sasuke, send him our way."
Naruto glanced around, and, as if on cue, a group was pushing Sasuke toward that general direction. He already had his guitar hanging from his shoulder. Naruto snuck a glance at Yagura and Sai, whose eyes were trained on the folks moving equipment around. Then, Yagura abruptly glanced at him, catching Naruto in the act. The older teen smiled and even waved. Sai looked over, too. To anyone else, it would've seemed his friend's face was perfectly blank, but Naruto could sense some smugness.
Yuck. If it wasn't already bad that Yagura kept hanging around Sasuke, now he was… putting his hands all over Sai, too?
It's not like he had any right to tell Sai what to do. Since it was out of his control (and it was grossing him out just to see the two of them together), Naruto began moving closer to the balcony. It was too late to get prime standing space outside, but there was enough room in the living area. Well, barely. The #Feminist band members were busy plugging in the speakers. Everyone was chatting excitedly while the musicians put on their coats and started setting up outside. As he watched, that same bubble of excitement and anticipation began to build in his stomach, because he'd be able to hear Rin… and Sasuke. To hear them together again.
It made him think of how he'd become so overwhelmed he ended up needing to leave the performance. It was a strange position to be in, he thought. Knowing he was still… well.
Whatever.
He picked up a random drink from off one of the small side tables, hoping for the best that it hadn't been spiked. Naruto glanced at Sai one last time. They looked cozy, but at least they weren't making out yet. As #Feminist's keyboardist carried out the keyboard, the crowd parted for her, which meant Naruto got pushed back a little. Naruto, while waiting for it to start, became lost in thought until he felt someone bump into his arm. He looked over and saw Gaara.
"You looked pathetic standing over here by yourself," Gaara told him.
"Did I?" Naruto ended up smiling, pleased his friend had come back. up smiling. "But, I'm surrounded by so many people standing here."
The ginger-haired boy shrugged. "Being surrounded by people doesn't mean anything."
"That's deep stuff," he replied, actually feeling a strange twinge at the comment but was very quick to suppress it. "Did you read it on a fortune cookie?"
Gaara merely glanced over. "I'm curious. If he's as good as you say he is."
"He's good." Naruto slid his hands into his jean pockets. "I wouldn't lie about that."
"Yeah, it's not usual for you to blow smoke up someone's ass."
"Not unless they're into it," he replied, distracted when he spotted Sasuke assisting one of the girl's with a speaker, testing it out and making sure all the wires were connected.
Eventually, the chatter of the crowd became more of a dull murmur. It appeared the impromptu performance was about to begin. The door to the balcony was open wide. Some people had decided to put on their coats, but a couple of space heaters had also been brought out. With so many people in one room, he didn't think it was all that bad. It actually looked really pretty outside. The night sky was clear and black, but a light snow had begun to fall. It almost looked like CGI, it was so surreal. He found himself trying to push closer to the front, at least to a place where he could clearly see both Rin and Sasuke. They sat down on a couple of wooden chairs. Sasuke didn't look nearly as intoxicated earlier. Then again, he was the consummate professional. He appeared cool, collected, and aloof. Occasionally, he stopped to help Rin with stuff or to adjust the small mic they had. Naruto set his eyes on Rin. She looked so pretty—hair up in a messy bun now and wearing a red hooded sweatshirt that looked to big for her.
Naruto smirked, but then his eyes were drawn to Sasuke again when he set the guitar to the side and took a seat behind the keyboard. He played a few notes while Rin wrapped her fingers around the stand, just below the mic, and hummed. Fuu sat on a wooden box, a small shaker in her left hand. There was only a second for him to absorb the fact Sasuke would be playing the fuckinig keyboard—something Naruto had never seen him do on stage. The lights went off suddenly, and the strobe light came on, a soft purple-blueish glow hitting the walls.
Sasuke began to play the keyboard, and Rin, following a soft vocal sigh into the mic, started to sing. Her voice, as beautiful as ever, sounded raw but gentle:
"Remember when I used to be happy... for you? You could go out with your female friends, and I'd be totally fine? Remember when you used to be happy… for me? You'd celebrate all my success without crossing a line. Now it's like we're scared of getting good." She kept her eyes closed, her free hand rising into the air and forming a fist. "'Cause we know the truth is that we could. And we know that we might actually work. And the truth is that we could."
Fuu, while using the shaker, tapped on the box she sat on like a drum. Sasuke's face remained focus, his playing light and so obviously trying to make the other two shine. God, did he look good playing. Watching him... while listening to Rin sing those words, her voice squeaking in anguish at the end of the last line was just so… strangely heartbreaking. He'd only been able to hear her sing rock songs and a ballad with Sasuke, but this style suited her so well...
"But maybe it's the worst in me, that's bringing out the worst in you," she sang, searching the audience until her eyes ended up on Sasuke, who must've felt it because then he offered just the slightest smile. "I know we can fix these kinks. But the worst in me doesn't want to work on things. But the best of me wants to love you. But the worst in me doesn't want to."
Fuu, who had her own mic, sang a series of breathy, back-up vocals as Rin's expression changed, becoming much more emotional and pained.
Rin glanced at Sasuke while she sang the next lines: "It's almost like I've gotten so used to resentment. That every annoying little thing you say has lost its effect. It's almost like it's made you a little bit bitter. When I don't always react the way you expect."
The bridge and chorus repeated, but Naruto felt strange listening to the lyrics, relating to them, and almost feeling like Rin was pulling his heart straight out of his chest right now.
"I won't hurt you again. If you won't, if you won't. But, baby, I won't lose you again. If you won't, if you won't..."
For having seen several bands since knowing Sasuke, for having seen Sasuke perform hundreds of times, it never ceased to amaze him about musicians. Knowing them in person didn't at all prepare him for how they changed on stage, Sasuke and Rin included. Though he didn't know Rin nearly as well, her ability to draw you in with the emotions on her face and voice were just so… completely awe-inspiring. It was always so goddam moving. Yet, when he saw Sasuke performing up there, too, it brought back that same feeling. Of being part of a whole other world than him. Like they might never connect. It was so… lonely.
He didn't dare look at Gaara. He would've been able to read Naruto's thoughts in an instant.
The song came to an end and was met with loud applause. Some party goers were chanting Sasuke and Rin's names, shouting: "encore." He wiped at his eyes, moved mostly by the fact he knew such talented people. It made him feel small. Like he didn't belong here. With these people. Like he was a fake. His first instinct was to get more alcohol, but then Sasuke stood. He reached for his guitar while Rin helped Fuu move the keyboard back inside, then returned to sit next to Sasuke, who appeared to be searching the crowd. It was an oddly open and vulnerable look he was giving , but it quickly vanished once he glanced down at his fingers on the guitar strings.
Fuu stood behind the keyboard and started to play. Rin sat quietly in her seat, beside Sasuke.
Naruto took in a deep breath and held it. He still got nervous on Sasuke's behalf even though it was never necessary to do so. Sasuke, strumming his guitar, began to sing:
"There is a swelling storm," Sasuke sang, voice raw, rough, and low. "And I'm caught up in the middle of it all. And it takes control. Of the person that I thought I was. The boy I used to know."
Sasuke closed his eyes, voice breaking slightly as it reached the higher notes. "But there, is a light. In the dark, and I feel its warmth. In my hands, and my heart. But, why can't I hold on?"
Rin and Fuu joined: "'Cause it comes and goes in waves. It always does, it always does."
"And we watch as our young hearts fade. Into the flood. Into the flood." Sasuke's voice picked up in power and volume, the keyboard growing louder, too. "And the freedom, of falling. And the feeling I thought was set in stone. It slips through, my fingers. And I'm trying hard to let go."
Sasuke's voice softened again. "But it comes and goes in waves. Oh, it comes and goes in waves. And carries us away. Through the wind. And down to the place we used to lay when we were kids. The memories, of a stolen place. Caught in the silence. An echo lost in space."
Rin and Fuu backed him up, a beautiful harmony that complemented the raw pain of Sasuke's voice. "But it comes and goes in waves. It always does, it always does. And we watch as our young hearts fade into the flood. Into the flood. And the freedom of falling. And the feeling I thought was set in stone. It slips through my fingers, and I'm trying hard to let go."
The trio sang together: "But it comes and goes in waves 'Cause it comes and goes in waves. And carries us away. "
Sasuke set the guitar aside to sing, grasping the mic in both hands. "And I've watched my wild youth disappear in front of my eyes. Moments of magic and wonder. It seems so hard to find. Is it ever comin' back again? Is it ever comin' back again? And take me back to the feeling when everything was left to find."
Sasuke sang alone, so soft: "'Cause it comes and goes in waves. It always does. It always does…" The two women joined him again, their voices growing louder. "And the freedom, of falling. And the feeling I thought was set in stone. It slips through, my fingers. I'm trying hard to let go."
With no musical accompaniment, Sasuke sang alone again for the final verse: "But, it comes and goes in waves. 'Cause it comes and goes in waves. And carries us away."
After Sasuke finished singing, Naruto took in a deep breath, wondering if he'd been breathing at all this entire time. There were a few seconds of silence before the whole room broke out in applause and yelling, to almost a deafening degree. With everyone jumping around, it was hard to see Sasuke and Rin anymore. He felt the tears sliding down his cheeks and moved to furiously wipe them away. He turned, forgetting Gaara was beside him. Their eyes instantly met, and Naruto could read his expression so clearly in that moment.
Naruto, you fucked up. You should've beaten Sasuke bloody until he told you the truth. Until Sasuke yelled at the top of his longs that he doesn't love you, doesn't want you, only wanted to be friends. Until then, it's not over. And it'll never be over.
But, how could he force himself on Sasuke like that? He was clearly hurting as much as Naruto, even if it didn't make sense to him. Yet, in a warped way—in that moment—he understood perfectly. Just knowing Sasuke and the way he thought about things, however fucked up. Naruto knew it was possible for Sasuke to both love him and still be able to push him away. That hurt him, though. Seeing Sasuke able to get along so well with Rin or Fuu or Yagura. Everyone but him. They didn't get pushed away. When he and Sasuke had been so intimately close. Sasuke was his best friend, so what the fuck happened?
In fact, Sasuke seemed to be growing closer to them because he wasn't hanging out with Naruto. He did have friends. It was just that… Naruto had been getting in the way of that.
When Gaara put a hand on his shoulder, Naruto jerked away without meaning to.
"I have to—" But, he didn't want to lie or make excuses anymore. "I need to get some air."
"Want me to go?" Gaara asked, looking concerned, which made Naruto feel even more pathetic.
"Nah. Gimme a few minutes outside and I'll be find. Uh, keep an eye on Sai, though, would ya?" Naruto was still wiping away tears. "Don't want Yagura to try anything funny on my friend."
"Okay."
Another weak smile and Naruto was gone, pushing his way through all of the still applauding people. Had he been thinking clearly, he would've brought a jacket. As soon as he was out in the hallway, it was like he could breathe again He stood a minute, trying to calm his breathing. When he felt able to, he went down the stairs and out the door of the apartment complex.
Outside, it was bitingly cold but also refreshing. The cool air felt good on his face. Naruto gazed up at the sky, watching the snow descend over the trees and road. There was a strange feeling in his chest, so he covered it. A sharp pain. It felt like he couldn't catch his breath, so he leaned against the brick wall, waiting for it to pass. It didn't, but he felt content somehow. Sad, but was out there for five minutes before the door opened, interrupting his thoughts.
"I was lookin' for you," they told him. "What's up with you and walkin' out mid-performance every time? Didn't anyone ever teach you any manners? Wasn't that Sasuke's job?"
Naruto glared at Yagura. He didn't bother responding. Instead, he looked up at the sky again and shut his eyes, attempting to will the pain in his chest away. Eventually, he could feel it as Yagura slid up beside him. Internally, he cringed. There wasn't anyone else he loathed more than Yagura. He felt irrationally angry, thinking about the night Yagura sent those pictures, the fact he'd come here with Sasuke tonight, and he was now trying to take Sai away, too—
"Fuck off," Naruto growled.
"Hey, I don't see anyone else runnin' out here to comfort you. Could be more grateful instead of always actin' like an emotional brat."
"Like I care what you think of me," he argued.
"Everyone cares," said Yagura. "Everyone cares what other people think."
Naruto snorted, glancing at the older teen. "Even you?"
"Even me." Yagura grinned.
He stared at him. "What do you want?"
"What do you want?"
"Huh?"
"Just make a fuckin' decision already. You'll feel better about it."
"I didn't ask—"
Yagura, turning abruptly, grabbed at the front of Naruto's shirt. "Stop actin' like a pussy. The both of you are annoying, actin' like you're a couple of star-crossed lovers in the middle of some Shakespearean play. This is 2018 almost. No one gives a fuck about two dudes boppin' each other. Just do it in private or out of sight, who cares?" He let go of Naruto. "Just.. fuckin' do somethin' already. God. Watchin' you two pine after each other is exhaustin' as fuck."
"I'm so sorry that we're imposing on you," Naruto snapped. "I didn't realize my relationship with Sasuke was any of your business."
"That's where you're wrong," Yagura replied calmly. "Sasuke's a friend. He's been a friend long before you showed up in Seattle. He's an idiot, but I like him. Talented idiot, I should say." The singer pulled out a lighter and a cigarette. He offered one to Naruto. "Y'smoke?"
"Not really," he answered, raising an eyebrow in suspicion. "Why are you being so nice to me?"
"I've always tried to help you two out if you recall."
"You were just tryin' to fuck with us and start shit."
"Isn't that what I just said?" Yagura took a deep drag of his cigarette.
"It's more complicated than that. It's not as easy as you make it sound—"
"Shut up, honestly. I'm not one of your pets. Not your friend. Don't care. Just know that Sasuke's got a boner for you but he's been actin' like he's on the rag for a while now. You still like him, right? Give him a blowy, and he'll be satisfied. I guess you might, too."
Naruto shot him a disgusted look. "You're sick."
"Yeah, right. I bet me just mentionin' Sasuke's dick caused yours to twitch. Whatever floats your boat, man. I thought I was straight, too, but your friend's kinda…" He scratched his chin and grinned at Naruto. "We'll have to see where the night leads now, won't we?"
"Just… leave me alone," Naruto told him. "Go away."
Yagura gave him a long look. He leaned in close, and Naruto could smell the smoke on his breath. He slid the cigarette behind Naruto's ear, turned, and went back inside.
"Consider it a parting gift," Yagura said, standing by the open door. "What is it I'm supposed to say here? Ah, right. Happy New Year, asshole. Hope you two get your shit together."
Naruto rolled his eyes. What an asshole. What a loser. Without thinking, he took the cigarette from behind his ear and gave it a few puffs. He ended up staying outside until it burnt out. Naruto stamped it underneath his boot. By then, he'd been gone 20 minutes and could barely even feel his fingers or face. His phone had gone off a couple of times in his back pocket, too, though Naruto had ignored it. He checked his watch. It was about quarter til midnight.
Running a hand through his hair, Naruto gave one last look at the night sky, still unsure of what to do but knowing that he'd have to do something.
Because Sasuke never would, and clearly they were both annoying the shit out of their friends.
Would another drink give him more courage?
Well, he'd just have to find out, he guessed.
After performing, Sasuke set about helping clear the area, and when he felt as though everyone's instruments were secure and good—he had to disappear for a while. Never in all of his times of performing had he felt so emotional during a song. It still hadn't gone away, this strange pain in his chest. There was sadness, loneliness, and something else. He kept thinking about that dream from the other night, too. He'd been less than sober at the beginning of Rin's song, and he wasn't in great shape now either, but that didn't stop him from performing. Sometimes it startled him, how robotic he could be while playing on stage. It came from years of conditioning himself to support other musicians, regardless of not feeling well, of being nervous, or if something on stage went wrong. He always felt he should be calm in any situation.
There was so much noise afterward, too. Lots of people tried talking to him, but all Sasuke really wanted was to get another drink and be left alone for a while. It turned out that attention was the last thing he was in the mood for right now. A few minutes ago, he'd been snappish with Fuu since she kept interrogating him about Naruto for some reason. Luckily, Rin took her aside and distracted her. He didn't want to ruin their buzz after such a good performance, and it wasn't like him to be that way with other musicians. It also didn't help that while moving the instruments, Sasuke had spotted Yagura and Sai together. Next he glanced at them, though, Yagura had disappeared, but Sai was with Gaara now. They appeared to be in the middle of a discussion.
He didn't try to analyze it since he was feeling like nothing could surprise him right now. Instead, he headed to the kitchen where, without having to ask, someone was already handing him a drink and congratulating him on his performance. It annoyed him that people kept trying to touch him or pat him on the back. But, hey, it meant the shots kept coming. Then, someone handed him yet another mixed drink. Next he knew, the world felt a lot better than 15 minutes ago. When a popular song started playing in the living room, the small crowd in the kitchen shifted and pushed him along, and he… didn't mind. Far from sober, he didn't have a problem with dancing, at least until he caught a glimpse of two figures out on the balcony. He stopped, having to push someone out of the way to see more clearly: Rin and Naruto. They stood close, Rin talking animatedly, even gesturing and, all of a sudden, she leaned in to hug the blond teen.
Stupidly, Sasuke stood there watching, wondering at these feelings blooming in his chest.
Anger. Jealousy. A violent, swelling rage.
It was only a hug, but somehow the alcohol compounded his bitterness.
The song ended, and the countdown to the new year began. Though the music had been shut off, someone flashed the strobe light above, blinding him. He remembered holding his hand up to the light, feeling deafened by the sound of everyone counting. People knocked into him, someone threw an arm around his neck, and then there was a deafening roar when the count hit zero. Yet, Sasuke was still watching outside, waiting for what he inevitably knew would happen.
A kiss.
But, he didn't want to see it, so he turned away and let himself be dragged around and hugged by acquaintances and various musicians he'd once played with. He doubted they were any more sober than he was, so they didn't seem to notice his irritation or lack of reaction to all of the celebrating going on around him. Where could he go to get away?
Stumbling through the crowd, Sasuke walked down the hall, ignoring Sai, who he was standing in line for the toilet. Maybe it wasn't his most stellar moment, but as soon as the next person came out of the bathroom, Sasuke cut in line and went inside, locking the door behind him. He ignored the pounding on the door and the yelling that followed. If they had to take a piss, they could go outside or go home. He didn't fucking care. Light-headed, he grabbed hold of the sink and ran the water for a while, scooping it up in his hand and bringing it to his mouth. There was a clawfoot tub in the corner of the room, surrounded by a plastic shower curtain. He stared at it for a while, compelled to crawl inside the bathtub for some reason.
Pushing the curtain aside, he stepped in and sat down, love. It felt a lot more quiet and peaceful in here. Sasuke pulled the curtain closed, cursing that he'd left the light on. Not that it mattered since after only five minutes of lying there, he'd already passed out cold.
Naruto was on the balcony with Rin when the sliding glass door behind them abruptly opened. They'd been talking for a good while out here, mostly because Rin saw him after his "talk" with Yagura. Apparently he couldn't convince her that his cheeks and eyes were red from the cold alone, so after a lecture and a heart to heart that resulted in both of them missing the countdown, they'd been sharing a (contemplative?) silence for the past 10 minutes.
"Hey, uh," said Fuu, who was standing beside Gaara and Sai. "We might have a problem?"
"What do you mean 'problem'?" Rin asked, pulling down the hood of her jacket.
"No one's been able to get into the bathroom for the last 20 minutes, and, um… apparently it's Sasuke in there? I don't know if he's sick, or what, but the door is locked."
"Sasuke?" Rin glanced curiously at him as if he knew what was going on.
"I saw him go in," Sai spoke up. "He cut in front of the whole line."
"Well." Naruto tried to keep from snapping. "Did anyone try knocking down the door?"
"Did you really expect us to break her door?" Gaara asked.
"Maybe he had a bad burrito for lunch," Sai added, and Naruto shot him a glare.
Naruto was already on the move, shoving past the three of them. "I'll do it. I'll take care of it."
He knew Rin was following him and didn't necessarily have a plan other than he was going to beat the crap out of Sasuke for being so stupid.
"What the hell is he thinking?" He mumbled while pushing people out of his way to get to the bathroom.
A group of angry looking party goers were all staring at him.
"What?" He asked. "If you gotta pee that bad, take it outside."
Rin squeezed his arm. "They can use mine. It's fine."
As she went to open her bedroom up for all these idiots in line, Naruto knocked on the door.
"Sasuke?" He called, having to shout over the sound of the music. "You in there?" When he saw that Gaara and Sai were standing nearby, he asked: "Did anyone think of tryin' to call him?"
"Why would we have his number?" Sai asked.
"You were the one makin' out with Yagura," Naruto shot back. "Could've asked him."
Sai glared. "None of us are Sasuke's caretaker. We thought it was best to get you."
"Tch, well I'm not his caretaker either." Naruto rapped on the door again, yelling more loudly. "Sasuke, you're holdin' up the line, asshole! Can you at least open the door?"
When there was still no reply, Naruto took out his phone and gave Sasuke's cell a call. No matter how many times he tried, there was no answer. He jiggled the knob and tried to force it open, but he eventually had to ask Rin for a screwdriver. It took some time before she found it, but from a purple toolbox, she pulled a small screwdriver and handed it to him. Meanwhile, there were a few people gawking, but most had either followed Rin or returned to the living room or kitchen. With Gaara's assistance, Naruto was able to remove the door from its hinges by unscrewing the brackets. It took 10 minutes, and, at first, he was confused when he found the bathroom empty. He and Gaara walked in, and so did Rin. Yagura (why hadn't he kept an eye on Sasuke?) and Sai waited in the hallway, keeping watch so no one tried to film them with their phones. Any other time, it might've been funny but given his mood, Naruto wasn't laughing. Finally, Gaara thought to pull back the shower curtain, which is where they found Sasuke Uchiha passed out.
After sharing a concerned look with Rin, Naruto went to the side of the tub. He called Sasuke's name, but when he didn't receive a response, he got on his knees and slapped him across the cheek. Not receiving any kind of reaction, Naruto became slightly panicked, even trying to decide if he should call Itachi or 911 or take him to the hospital for alcohol poisoning. He slipped a finger under Sasuke's nose. Thankfully, he was still breathing.
"Maybe we should turn the shower on," Gaara suggested dryly.
Naruto glared at him.
"Maybe we should?" Rin agreed uncertainly, looking as anxious as he felt. "He's not waking up. Should we get him out of there? How can we wake him up?"
"Can you get me some bottled water and pain reliever? He's only passed out, but Gaara and I are gonna try to wake him up, okay?"
Rin looked relieved at being given a task. "O-okay. If you're sure?"
"It'll be okay," he reassured. "Just gonna slap a little water on his face. Should do the trick." Naruto offered a thumbs up for emphasis, even attempting a wide grin. "Promise."
Rin nodded and, as she left, closed the door behind her.
"Well, now what?" Gaara asked.
Naruto stared at Sasuke's limp form in the tub. "Let's hurry and get'm stripped, and then we'll turn on the water. I don't know what else to do, do you?"
"Can't force him to vomit until he's conscious, so do whatever you think is necessary." Gaara came up beside him. "Let me know what I can do to help."
Stepping into the tub, Naruto started with Sasuke's boots. "I'll get his sweater and boots off. Then you can help me lift him when I need to get his pants off."
"Not entirely how I imagined this evening going," Gaara said.
"Yeah," Naruto agreed as he reached for Sasuke's belt and dropped it on the floor. "Me neither."
"Better you than anyone else." Gaara took all the clothes Naruto gave him and set them in a pile on the floor.
Once he'd removed everything except Sasuke's jeans, Gaara helped him get Sasuke to his feet. While Gaara had a hold of him below the armpits, Naruto pulled off Sasuke's pants and, ignoring the red-headed teenager's inappropriate smirk, Sasuke's underwear, as well.
"If you hold him in there with the water running," said Gaara. "Your clothes are going to get wet."
"It's fine," said Naruto. "I can borrow stuff. I'll even wear Rin's clothes if I have to."
"Do you want privacy?"
Naruto gave him a funny look. "What? Never seen a grown man naked before?"
"Grown?" Gaara repeated. "Only trying to be considerate if you wanted to get naked, too."
"He doesn't have hypothermia," Naruto replied, grunting with the effort it took to keep Sasuke upright while he struggled to reach for the shower knob.
"You got him?" Gaara held on until the water came spilling out of the showerhead, drenching Sasuke and himself (as well as Naruto's clothes).
He spun them around, taking the brunt of the first sprays of cold water. "Yeah."
Gaara stepped aside, and once the water was hot enough, he let it hit Sasuke in the face. Naruto held the teen's body to him, vaguely recalling a time when their situations had been reversed. Sasuke appeared to rouse but didn't open his eyes, but when Naruto gave him one last hard slap to the face, Sasuke's eyes shot wide open. Instinctively, he pushed Naruto away, and just as Sasuke was about to slip on the wet tub, Naruto leaned forward and caught him in his arms.
Sasuke held a hand to his chest. "Where am I?"
"A shower, dumbass." Naruto searched his face. "What the hell happened?"
Realizing the state of his undress, Sasuke glared at him. "Where are my clothes?"
"Over there," he replied, without looking away or pointing. "By Gaara."
The curtain was shielding them, so it's not like Sasuke could see the other teen. Sasuke looked confused again. He stared at Naruto, then at the outline of Gaara standing behind the curtain. Then, his brow furrowed, his eyes became unfocused, and he tried to push Naruto off.
He held tight to Sasuke. "What's your problem? Why'd you lock yourself in the bathroom if you weren't feelin' well? You could've fallen and hit your head or choked on your own vomit."
"What do you care?" Sasuke snarled, breath reeking of vomit and alcohol. "Why are you always… always bothering me, always in my face. Why can't you just take a hint?"
"Huh?" Naruto's voice went from calm to indignant. "You're the one who came in here and forced me to knock down the goddam door to make sure you were still alive."
"Just… leave me alone," Sasuke said almost pleadingly, echoing Naruto's earlier words to Yagura.
"Is that what you want?" He asked, voice lowering and eyes searching Sasuke's.
"Isn't itwhat youwant?"
Naruto's eyebrow arched. It was hard to understand him since he kept slurring his words.
"What's that supposed to mean?" He asked.
"Go away, Naruto." Sasuke pushed at his chest. "Your clothes are soaked."
He knew it was pointless arguing but couldn't help himself. "Whose fault do you think that is?"
The teen snorted. "Your own, for… always involving yourself in everyone's business. I'm not your business anymore." Sasuke all but growled: "I saw you."
"'Saw me'?" Naruto cocked his head, confused. "Saw me what? You're not makin' any sense."
Sasuke gave him another shove. "Tch. Stop trying to pretend you're pe..perfect."
Naruto grabbed his wrist, trying to prevent Sasuke from shoving him again. "Wait… what? Since when do I do that? Isn't that your job?"
Sasuke's gaze slipped lower, but Naruto didn't know what the hell he was looking at. His eyes were red, glossy, and unfocused. Looking at him, Naruto became acutely aware of Sasuke's naked state and how tightly he had him pressed to his body. Be that as it may, it wasn't exactly a sexy position to be in given the circumstances.
"Sasuke?" He gave him a shake, worried he might pass out again.
"...It's fine with me…," Sasuke said, eyes still lowered. "I-if you want to be with her."
"Be with her? Her who?" Naruto's grip on him tightened. "What the hell are you talkin' about, Sasuke?"
Sasuke raised his eyes, meeting Naruto's, but he said nothing. There was a knock on the door, and they heard Rin calling to them. It was then that he remembered Gaara was also there, listening to their conversation.
"Gaara—"
"I'm on it," he heard Gaara reply.
Opening the door, Gaara informed Rin about Sasuke's status. They could also hear Sai and Yagura asking questions, but after Gaara left the room, he shut the door.
Sasuke smirked once Gaara was gone. "Isn't Sai going to be interested why you're in the bath with me? Naked?"
"I think he gets the situation," Naruto replied curtly. "Besides, you're the one who worries about that stuff. Why should I care what he thinks about it?"
"Because," said Sasuke, cocking his head and tugging at a piece of Naruto's hair. "Then he'd… realize you've been lying to him all this time. That you're… a liar. Naruto."
Naruto narrowed his eyes, slapping his hand away. "Why are you bein' like this? Not that I haven't grown used to you actin' like a total asshole, but this isn't like you. I know you're drunk, but—"
"How would you know?" Sasuke cut him off angrily and gestured at the shower curtain as if it were a person. "How long are you going to keep me in here? Like… a prisoner."
Naruto removed his arm from around Sasuke's waist. He was surprised when Sasuke clung to him only to quickly let go again as if realizing what he'd done. He braced his weight by leaning against the wall instead of Naruto. He looked as if he might get sick again.
"As always," Naruto replied softly, watching him in case he fell. "You're free to go whenever you want."
Sasuke blinked, then answered in an especially venomous tone: "How can I, though. When you always end up chasing me like some lovesick puppy?"
"Me?" Naruto scoffed. "I chase you? Oh man, do you think highly of yourself. Must be nice."
"Must be nice," Sasuke sneered, "Telling me you have feelings for me and, a... month later, hitting on one of my friends. Kissing her... in front of everybody. What's it like to be so fickle, Naruto?"
Naruto opened his mouth to retort, but he was so confused by what Sasuke was saying that he didn't know where to start. Why did he feel compelled to argue with him despite knowing he was drunk and apparently out of his mind? Better to say nothing at all. What would be the point?
"Nothing to say, I see." Sasuke nodded. "Figures." He pushed Naruto out of the way, threw back the curtain, and stepped out of the tub, providing Naruto with a healthy glimpse of everything.
It finally occurred to him he could turn the water off. Now that he was drenched. Between the both of them, they'd gotten water all over Rin's floor, so he reached for a towel and started mopping it up. He tried to work out the things Sasuke had said in his brain. While he didn't understand what the fuck Sasuke was even talking about, it didn't take a rocket scientist to piece together that Sasuke was clearly referring to Rin… but, uh, when had he ever kissed her?
Wait. Why did Sasuke care anyway? He'd already rejected him.
"Let's say I did kiss Rin," Naruto spoke slowly. "Why would you care?"
Drunk Sasuke would be honest with him, wouldn't he?
Sasuke had his back to him. "I don't."
"Then why'd you get so drunk you passed out in her tub?"
"It's a party, moron. Isn't that what I'm supposed to do?"
Naruto got up and hung the towel on a rack. "Since when do you care about that kinda thing?"
"Isn't that what I do?" Sasuke asked. "Only care about what… what others think. Like, my father, for instance. My brother. ...You." He ticked off each example with his fingers.
"Me?" As Naruto began to reach for his shoulder, Sasuke dropped to his knees in front of the toilet and barfed. Not just once, but twice. Afterward, Naruto came to kneel beside him and held his hair out of the way. He rubbed Sasuke's back.
"I… don't need your help," Sasuke told him, wiping at his mouth. He sagged against the toilet.
"Yeah, yeah. I know."
"I don't like having your traitorous hands on me."
Naruto raised an eyebrow. "...Should I leave you alone?"
"Do whatever you feel is best. Do your—"
He didn't finish. Once more, Sasuke hunched over the toilet lid and threw up. There was an empty glass on the sink for Rin's toothbrush, so he grabbed that, filled it with water and presented it to Sasuke, who had his arm on the toilet seat and head resting on his arm.
Naruto thought he might've passed out. "Sasuke?"
"Present," Sasuke mumbled, lifting his head to glare.
Naruto smirked.
"What?"
"Nothing." Naruto started to laugh. "Nothin' at all."
"Is this amusing you?" Sasuke asked, pushing his hair out of his eyes only for the dark strands to fall back into their original place.
"Kinda, yeah. Karma, I guess."
"Since…" Sasuke wiped at his forehead. "Since when is telling the truth… a punishable offense?"
"The truth?" Naruto repeated. "What's the truth here exactly?"
"That I can't… I can't be with you, Naruto. I made that p-perfectly clear."
Sasuke lay his head down again, still glaring at Naruto.
Naruto sat quietly beside him, contemplating a lot of things and still trying to piece together what had just happened, what Sasuke was saying. He couldn't understand why Sasuke was so angry. He didn't get it, and he found he was becoming fed up with Sasuke's mood swings.
"I should get you home," Naruto said finally. "Or you can stay at Rin's."
"I'm fine."
"Yeah, you look fine." Naruto scratched his cheek. "Should I call Itachi?"
"No."
He refused to suggest Yagura, but he couldn't just leave Sasuke here.
"Can you be moved, or will you throw up again?" Naruto asked, shivering because of these damn wet clothes.
"I'm fine, I said," Sasuke spat at him. "Stop worrying about me. I'm not your concern anymore! I'm… I'm… You said it yourself, right? We're not even friends anymore."
What the hell? Was he really trying to guilt trip him right now?
"Even if we weren't friends," Naruto clenched his fist, "I still wouldn't leave you alone right now."
Sasuke sighed. "Great. I get to be one of your charity cases… again."
"Charity case?" He asked. "God, you're so dramatic. Do you hear that?"
"What?" Sasuke asked irritably.
Naruto was officially tired of this shit. "I think I hear Panic at the Disco playin' in the distance. Or, is that My Chemical Romance? All that emo music sounds the same to me, but I'm sure you know that shit by heart."
Sasuke pulled a face. "Always with the jokes. You think you're so hilarious."
"It's a skill," Naruto replied easily. "What can I say? But, I wasn't really joking."
"Nothing. I want you to stop talking. You can shut up and get out."
Naruto's fingernails were digging into his palm. "Yeah, okay. That sounds like me."
He was glaring, but Sasuke was too out of it to even notice. Yes, he wanted to punch Sasuke in the face, but he needed to get him out of here. If Naruto took him to his home, Sasuke's parents would ask questions. Yagura… not an option. He would've called Itachi, but didn't want to piss him off more than he already had lately by dumping Sasuke on him when he was in this state.
When he glanced at Sasuke again, the teen had his eyes closed. Naruto, feeling a sudden onset of panic again, moved to touch his cheek. Shit. But, Sasuke's eyes opened—clear and intense—and Naruto became caught up in old feelings again.
No. He wasn't going to keep doing this. Just as quickly as old feelings began to surface, he squashed them down again. He replaced that yearning with anger, resentment, bitterness. Why did Sasuke have to make things so difficult? Always. It was so… frustrating. Why did Naruto always have to be the one to push him, to salvage everything, to… make it right?
It was unfair. Not just with Sasuke, he was always…
Always pushing his feelings aside to accommodate other people. Especially Sasuke. Then again, Sasuke was the person who had so often made him feel like they were the only two people on the planet. Made him feel special and understood, like he had a place here.
But, so what? Sasuke also treated him like trash, and that wasn't fair either. He'd discarded Naruto so… so easily! After everything they'd gone through, everything he'd thought—
No. He was too emotional to be thinking about this stuff right now. Best to focus on what needed to be done, and that was get Sasuke to a place where he could sleep this off.
"Listen," he said, realizing there was only one option. "You're probably not gonna like what I have to suggest, and I don't like it much either. But, dad's on a work trip, and… there's only Gaara stayin' with me at the apartment. We can bring you back there if you need a place to crash."
"Wow, that's quite the offer," Sasuke replied sarcastically. He was speaking into his arm, so it kept muffling the sound of his voice.
"What?" Naruto moved his arm out of the way, and not gently either. "Did you just graciously accept my offer? Because I'm not sure you have many other options."
Sasuke glared, opened his mouth to reply and… vomited. Unfortunately, Naruto had been rather close at that point so some specks got on his shirt.
He pulled a face. "Oh, man. Now that's… just rude."
As Sasuke continued to barf up a variety of colored liquids, Naruto got to his feet and filled another glass of water. Soon he'd be dehydrated. Naruto wasn't super psyched to leave Sasuke alone, but it seemed like the alcohol was at least working its way out of his system. How much did he have to drink tonight anyway, and why hadn't anyone been watching out for him?
"I'll be right back," Naruto mumbled, though he doubted Sasuke heard him.
Once he was out of the bathroom, he found Rin and Gaara waiting in the hall. There was no sign of Sai or Yagura, which was… interesting.
"Where's Sai?" He asked.
"Jesus, Naruto. You're soaked," cried Rin. "You'll catch a cold. I'll go get you a hoodie. I think I have something that might fit." She glanced anxiously at the door. "Is… Sasuke okay?"
"Yeah." Naruto nodded. "Sorry for gettin' water everywhere, Rin. Just came out here to tell Gaara that we're headed out."
"You're leaving Sasuke here?" Gaara asked incredulously.
"No," he said. "Sasuke's comin' with us. I'm takin' him home."
Gaara looked surprised, but he didn't say anything further. Rin, meanwhile, went to find him some new clothes and a bag to put his wet belongings in. Once he was dressed, they could grab an Uber and head to the apartment. He'd let it go for tonight, but tomorrow… he and Sasuke needed to have a talk. Well, so long as he didn't end up strangling him before then.
At least Gaara would be around to play referee.
Naruto was looking at him now. "Thanks."
"For what?" Gaara had his hands in his pockets, seemingly calm despite everything that had happened.
"For just…" Naruto smiled. "Being such a good friend."
The corner of Gaara's mouth quirked. "I'm just happy you finally got your head out of your ass."
His smile wavered, and , averting his eyes, Naruto rubbed the back of his neck. "Just think it's the right thing to do in this situation."
"Okay," said Gaara.
"Don't get any weird ideas. He's gettin' on my nerves. He's not usually like this."
"No?"
He sighed, thankful when Rin returned with some clothes.
"You can change in my room," she told him.
Naruto took the small pile she'd brought with a nod of thanks and entered her room, locking it behind just in case anyone came in trying to use the bathroom. He was about to take a seat on the bed, but ended up walking over to Rin's vanity. He stared at the picture of Rin and Sasuke for a while, but, after a few minutes, finally headed into the bathroom to dry off and change.
TBC