Chapter 7: Explorations
(Running off for a day at the beach with my guy! I will be back a you later! Enjoy the new chapter. Love you, Spunky)
Tetsuya rose slowly out of sleep and was only marginally surprised at finding himself blindfolded and firmly bound again.
Although he has his moments of humanity, Aizen trusts no one. I suppose I understand it, as giving trust is one way to be lured into captivity or death. The problem is that one who does not trust, also feels alone. I was never able to choose the lonelier path. But then, Byakuya-sama proved himself to me when he rescued me...then took care of me. He helped to raise me from a weak, poor slave to a taichou level shinigami, and a trusted protector. So, I learned that some exchanges of trust are necessary to become better than we are...to achieve our fate.
I don't believe Aizen Sousuke ever had anyone who made him feel that trust was necessary to achieve his fate. His powers were such that he felt he didn't need anyone to accompany him along that path. He set the goal of being king and carved out his own footsteps. But while doing so, he also laid the path of his own defeat. His experiments aimed at achieving godhood led to him pretty much creating Kurosaki Ichigo. Thus, he found himself thwarted when he finally faced his inadvertent creation in battle.
I wonder if the gods always give us the keys to our own destruction, just in case our free will takes us off the path to our destiny.
With that thought in mind, Tetsuya escaped into his inner world, sighing in relief at not feeling the bindings that restrained his body.
At first, entry here wasn't possible. My spirit centers were badly burned and I needed time to recover. Being able to come here is a good sign. It means that I am, indeed, healing. Whatever my situation, at least regaining my powers will melt the feelings of helplessness that have taken over. Instead of feeling helpless, I feel like I have a fate...a destiny.
The word led him back to what the hougyoku had spoken into his mind.
The hougyoku would make me believe it is my fate to be the one who can kill Aizen Sousuke. I know better than to accept that such a thing is true. One can have more than a single fate...and some fates are intertwined. Achieving one fate can mean failing another. When Ichigo faced Aizen, he faced two fates. If he wielded his strength wisely and was willing to sacrifice everything, he could stop Aizen. Had he not done exactly as he did, Aizen would have destroyed Ichigo and become king. So...fate is not necessarily a given. We have free will to choose which fate we will seek.
That is why the hougyoku asks me for an act of will. It says that if I will it, it can use its power to make me strong enough to kill Aizen. But I have to choose that path. It seems natural that anyone told that their act of will could kill Aizen would immediately choose to do so. He has proven his wickedness. One might say, he deserves to die. But while this is true, he has not yet done that which would make me desire his death. I want to be free of him and I want to return to my family and home, but I don't desire his death.
Why is that?
And why does the hougyoku that has clung to Aizen all of this time suddenly want me to embrace such a thing. I need to know more about that orb...how it was made and how it works. Perhaps as I allow Aizen to examine me, I can learn more about him. That will help me decide what to do.
"You are wise to see that, Kuchiki Tetsuya," a soft male voice said from behind him.
Tetsuya whirled and found himself facing, not a person, but a glowing and somehow floating iridescent orb. He stared at the device in fascination as it moved to just in front of him and hovered there, waiting.
"You are the hougyoku?" he asked warily, although every fiber of him already knew the answer.
"I am."
"How did you enter my inner world?" Tetsuya asked, "Aren't you fused with Aizen Sousuke?"
"I am," the orb confirmed, "for now. But...with your arrival, that can change. And I want it to change. That is why I have come to you."
"You want me to will for myself to become strong enough to kill Aizen?" Tetsuya inquired.
"I do. I will never be free of him until he dies."
Tetsuya frowned.
"But being bonded to him gave you the ability to enjoy connection to the outer world through use of his senses, didn't it?" he asked, "And wouldn't it be too much for you to stand, returning to a world without that connection?"
"There are endless worlds, endless realities, endless fates, Tetsuya. You know that," the hougyoku said reprovingly.
"And you want me to choose the path to killing Aizen?" Tetsuya mused, "As much as I understand other people desiring his death, it's not so clear, coming from you. Aizen made you, didn't he? He is...your creator?"
"He is," the orb agreed, "He did make me, and he grew my strength by feeding me souls, then feeding me the hougyoku that Urahara Kisuke made. I now have great power, but I want more, Tetsuya. And what I want should be something you understand and desire greatly too."
"What is that?"
The orb in front of him flickered, and Tetsuya stared in fascination, feeling as though it had graced him with a lovely smile.
"Think," the hougyoku urged him, "You have been consumed with it from your earliest days in Itamigiri...when you were but a slave and only wanted to be out of that dark, cold cell, able to feel the sunshine on your face and to choose the path your steps would take. Right now, you desire it so strongly, it pains your heart. You are Aizen's slave, just as I am. Don't you think it makes sense that we should work together to free ourselves from him?"
"But, for you to be free of him, he must die?" Tetsuya asked.
The orb continued to hover silently in front of him for a moment, seeming as though it was considering.
"Yes," it said finally, "for me to achieve the fate I desire, Aizen must die."
Did it just sidestep my question? Tetsuya wondered, his eyes still focused steadily on the orb.
"How are you able to enter my inner world?" Tetsuya asked, "Do you do this with others besides Aizen?"
"I haven't been able to. No. But then, no one else has shown the promise of being able to help me kill Aizen and free myself. You are different, Tetsuya. I am not sure I can explain how just yet. But if you will trust me and let me guide you, we can both be free again and pursue the paths of our chosen fates. And if I choose this path, you are sure that Aizen will die?"
"Yes, he will die."
Tetsuya considered his choices carefully.
"This is a distressing decision," he answered finally.
"What is distressing?" the orb queried, "We are talking about a man who slaughtered the councilors of Central 46, who was responsible for numerous other deaths in a war he instigated, just to clear his path to the king. You know how evil he is, don't you? Even now, knowing how distressing it is to you to be bound, and knowing you are not a backstabbing liar, but a man true to his word, he binds you anyway. You can't kill him and you have promised to serve him. Why do you need to be bound?"
Tetsuya blinked in surprise as he was stricken with an unbidden thought.
Could Aizen be sensing that I am dangerous somehow and that is why he is so eager to explore my abilities? If so, he already knows that the hougyoku has tried to influence me, and has suppressed me from explaining how.
That is the truth, isn't it?
I am caught between the two of them! But why? Why is all of this happening?
Tetsuya's thoughts suddenly derailed as he heard a tremulous equine groan and he turned to face his collapsed stallion.
Arashi's slender black legs flailed and he turned and started to stagger to his feet.
"Arashi!" Tetsuya exclaimed, running forward.
The horse's sapphire eyes found his and Tetsuya skidded to a stop, freezing at the distress in them.
"Arashi, what's happening?" he cried, watching in dismay as the black stallion's body shuddered and flickered strangely with rising reiatsu, "Arashi!"
Arashi reared, then came down hard and stood, shaking visibly, with his legs spread out and white light flaring all around his afflicted form. Tetsuya started forward again, but felt his body held back forcefully as the hougyoku's voice sounded.
"Don't approach him. It's too dangerous. Just wait," the orb warned him.
"But Arashi is..."
"You don't know what is happening, so you can't help him."
"I can try!"
"He would kill you without meaning to. He is frantic. Please, just wait here. I believe he will be all right. We should watch and wait to see what happens. Maybe he isn't in any danger at all."
"How can you say that?" Tetsuya objected, "I can feel his pain. He is burning all over!"
"That is the force of the reiatsu around him now. But I don't think that reiatsu means to harm him. I think something else is happening."
Tetsuya's heart clutched with misgiving, but he forced himself to calm inside and watched carefully as Arashi howled and panted, his body still lit with unnatural power. The white power flared out to his side and pulsated brightly, swelling into a cluster that was roughly the same size as the Arabian. It shimmered and appeared to gyrate and expand for a moment, before calming and settling slowly into the shape of a second horse.
"What is this?" Tetsuya mused wonderingly as the reiatsu began to retreat, leaving Arashi standing with his head down and his blue eyes weary, next to a pretty white Arabian filly.
He glanced back at the hougyoku, which gave him no sign of a reaction, then he moved cautiously towards the two horses.
"Who are you?" he asked the filly, who looked back at him through large, hypnotic brown eyes that struck him immediately as being extremely familiar, "Can you tell me your name?"
The filly blinked and stretched out her long neck, sniffing at him, but saying nothing in reply.
"Are you all right, Arashi?" Tetsuya asked the black horse.
Arashi tossed his head and straightened.
I am fine, Master. I was just...surprised.
"Me too," Tetsuya agreed, "But do you know who this filly is? Do you know how she emerged from you?"
No. I was just as surprised as you were. But Master, there is something I must tell you. That orb...it wasn't surprised. It knows something, and it keeps something from you. You must be very cautious. I think that thing wants to kill you.
Tetsuya moved closer to Arashi, watching as the white filly reared and charged away, into the trees. He used his connection to Arashi to send his next thoughts into the stallion's mind.
It says that it can help me to kill Aizen and free myself of this obligation I have to serve him.
Arashi nuzzled his cheek.
I think you already know that it has some kind of other motive. In fact, if you follow its guidance, you could escape Aizen, only to end up serving the hougyoku.
Tetsuya sighed, hiding his face under the horse's chin.
I was thinking the same thing, he agreed, Aizen is treacherous. And he created the hougyoku. Perhaps it is like the old saying, The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. I will have to be very careful.
Tetsuya felt a sudden, odd shift in the air around him, then he felt himself falling back, out of his inner world and into his body. He inhaled in surprise as the bonds on his arms and legs shattered, then his blindfold was removed. He scrambled into a seated position and accepted a tray of hot food and tea, which he dove into immediately, heeding the urgent rumble in his belly.
"Your appetite has returned," Aizen observed, "and you were able to enter your inner world, I see."
"Yes," Tetsuya agreed between mouthfuls, barely noticing as Aizen continued to observe him closely.
"Were you able to locate your stallion?" Aizen inquired.
"Mmhmm," Tetsuya confirmed, "Arashi is also recovering."
"And your zanpakutou?"
"Sleeping, but making good progress," Tetsuya supplied.
"So, it seems that the power you used did not harm you beyond repair," Aizen concluded, "It sapped you of your strength and made you lose consciousness. You moved in and out of consciousness for a time and you lost your powers. It seems that may have been protective...to keep you from using your burned spirit centers while they were slowly recovering. Can you use any power now?"
Tetsuya paused and closed his eyes for a moment, focusing inward. He felt a very soft flicker of life in his spirit centers.
I don't think I'll be able to hide it from him as my power returns. I have to focus on building my strength and trying to discern the hougyoku's true motive. I must know that before I can decide what to do about its request.
Tetsuya paused, frowning.
I don't understand why it made a request. It was able to freeze me when I was running towards Arashi. I think it could use me somehow, but it doesn't do that. It asks me to take an action that I don't have the reason to take on my own. It tries to influence me without just forcing me. Why?
"That is a very curious look," Aizen mused, "What is on your mind?"
"I was thinking about the hougyoku," Tetsuya confessed carefully, "I've been curious since it spoke to me. Will you tell me how you made it?"
Aizen gave him a measured look, then shook his head.
"I think you should just put the hougyoku out of your mind," he advised Tetsuya, "Obviously, it is trying to influence you in some way. I am not going to help it by giving you information."
"Of course not," Tetsuya agreed, "but is the hougyoku why you decided to bind me again?"
"In part," Aizen said cryptically," That and because I was beginning to be too comfortable with you. If the hougyoku plans to use you against me, it isn't advisable for me to become involved with you."
Tetsuya considered his words carefully.
"So, does that just mean I will be bound when you sleep or does it also mean you won't touch me sexually?"
"Why?" Aizen asked, giving him a sly look, "Do you want me to touch you sexually, Tetsuya?"
Tetsuya looked into Aizen's eyes and felt a heavy jolt go through his insides.
That filly that came out of Arashi has this man's eyes! That's why they looked familiar to me.
"Tetsuya?"
I wonder...
"You don't look repulsed at the idea," Aizen mused, "You've...changed in your feelings about me?"
"Not really," Tetsuya managed, "I just...I suppose it's just hard having no one to talk to most of the time and being bound and inside, not able to enjoy the fresh air. It makes sense that if you deprive me of other company and shut me off from everything, eventually I will turn to you. Is...that not what you wanted?"
Aizen sighed.
"I don't know that I had any particular plan to make you dependent on me for socialization. But I suppose I can't let you have anyone else. Or would you like me to perhaps capture that young man who was your attendant?"
"No!" Tetsuya exclaimed quickly, "Don't bring Koji into this. You could end up hurting him, and I couldn't stand it if you did. I would rather just learn to deal with my loneliness in another way."
"By having sex with me?" Aizen asked, smirking.
"Why do you have to focus on that?" Tetsuya asked in an offended tone, "I could be just saying that I want to talk to you occasionally and not be tied up all of the time! What would be wrong with that?"
"Well," Aizen explained, "since I know the hougyoku is guiding you, I can't trust your words, and since I need to keep you under careful control, I will have to keep you bound sometimes. But sex is a kind of release of the tension. It doesn't require for us to talk or even leave. And it will give us some relief from our loneliness, ne Tetsuya?"
Tetsuya felt tears of frustration in his eyes and let out an agitated breath.
"I would rather die of loneliness than willingly give my body to a man who doesn't love me," he said in a low, coarse voice, "Orochi took what he wanted from me without love for many years. I am not going to ask for unloving hands to ever touch me again!"
Aizen gazed at him quietly for a moment, noting that he had finished eating, then he nodded.
"I will respect your decision then," he said, still smirking as he began to set his captive's bindings in place again.
When he was finished, he surprised Tetsuya's lips with a long, warm kiss.
"I think you're very brave to stick to your morals so tightly," he chuckled, "Let me know if you are too uncomfortable."
"Morals have nothing to do with it," Tetsuya answered unhappily, "I just won't violate the dictates of my heart to soothe my loins. I would only end up feeling more lonely."
"You don't need to feel lonely, Tetsuya," Aizen said, giving him a more soulful look he couldn't see through the blindfold that he set in place, "I am always nearby."
And just waiting until I'm so desperate that I would even embrace a monster!