Wednesday, July 21, 2020

I think it's two o'clock. I can't see the time.

I still can't eat. But, I'm scared.

He's back.

The supposed non-existent man is back.

He keeps telling me I'm going to die.

I don't know what to do. I'm really scared. He won't leave. He just keeps talking and talking. I keep plugging my ears, but I could still hear him. It's scary.

I don't think Mr. Braginsky can see him, but he's telling him to go away. I had to tell Mr. Braginsky to stop because he was making him angry. When the man gets angry, he grows bigger, and grows fangs, and his voice gets deeper and louder. I wish he would go away.

I won't die. I'm not gonna die just because he said I was.

I just wish he would leave me be.

I mean, If I'm going to die, at least let me die in peace!

5:43 PM

Mr. Williams stopped by and gave me a teddy bear. He told me that this bear was going to be my best friend, and that he'll help me through all my troubles. It's really big, almost as big as me! It's really soft too. I'm not sure what to name him, so I'll wait for Lili to come and help me decide.

I wish I could eat. I really want cookies. And marshmallows.

Actually, I could go for a burger right about now. No, a pizza. I bet I could eat a whole pizza if I could.

No, I want Chinese food! No wait, I want some of the food from the Vargas Restaurant.

Or bread. Yes, I want bread.

I want chicken.

I just want food.

I can't wait until I can eat again.

6:04 PM

Lili came back, as usual. She saw my bear and gave me a huge smile. I asked her to help me name him, and she said that we should combine our names somehow and then give him that name.

I'm going to write down the possibilities.

Lilete

Petie

Zwirkland (a combination of her last name Zwingli and my last name Kirkland)

Kirkli

Zwingland.

Nope. None of them sound right. We'll come up with one eventually.

6:17 PM

MARSHMALLOW

His name is now Marshmallow!

He is white after all. Marshmallows are white.

Marshmallow is named in honour of our promise. I almost want to give him a bow like the one Lili wears.

Lili is going to stay a little longer than usual today, so that means she'll be able to watch me and Mr. Braginsky play chess! Maybe I'll teach her how to play as well.

9:45 PM

I'm happy.

Despite my illness, my condition, my disabilities, I'm happy.

I have a loving family, a nice doctor, a really nice friend, and I am surrounded by people who care about me.

I have my ups and downs. I'm sick, but people get sick sometimes. I have my fears. No one lives without one. But I can smile and laugh it off.

I may not be able to go places, and I may not have seen the world, but I think I'm starting to understand things a little bit more.

Sure, it's quite a big thing for a kid like me to say, but, I think I am now starting to understand the true meaning of life.

To experience, to laugh, to cry, to smile, to hurt, to meet new people, but most importantly, to be happy.

I am happy. I can say that and truly mean it.

I have everything I could ever want. That is beautiful, to me, at least.

Pa and Daddy think I'm not going to last any longer. They don't say it, but you can see it in their eyes.

Al knows that I have a big heart, but deep down inside, he has his doubts.

Lili truly hopes I make it. But she too has her doubts.

I just wish they would just take the time to smile. Truly smile. I don't want them to be sad, and I don't want them to pity me.

I want them to be happy.

I have my happiness. Now my goal in life is to make sure everyone else is happy as well.

Which is why I must not die.

They will be happy if they know I make it.

So I will make it.

From now on, everything I do is for them, not for me.

The cure is a positive attitude. I cannot be selfish.

I will do everything in my power to make sure they are happy.

I know what life is all about, so I'm going to help them see that if it's the last thing I do.

And to who ever is reading this, who ever you are, please, please take the time to smile. Think about all the things that make you happy and use that as your fuel.

You have a life, and that is beautiful.

Make sure it is worth it.

I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Wow, I made myself tear up.

Write a review and tell me what you think! And don't forget to smile!