Chapter 17: Shattered

A ray of sunlight woke Sofia the next morning. It was streaming through the small circular window adjacent to the bed she now occupied. She looked over to see Cedric lying there. His mouth was open and he was drooling a bit on the pillow. One arm was up and over his head, the other still resting on Sofia's stomach. It was rather cute. She delicately lifted his arm so as not to wake him but was unsuccessful. He started to stir and in his half dreamy state pulled her a bit closer as he stuck his face in her hair whilst his other arm flopped off the bed.

"Mr. Cedric!"

Sofia sat upright, giggling at his disheveled hair and clumsy limbs. He opened his eyes and the goofy smile he'd been displaying of late finally came back. Sofia didn't know how to ask him of her suspicions, so she crawled over him to get out of bed in a haphazard fashion. Accidental elbow pokes caused the sorcerer to yelp a bit, but overall he seemed to be blushing. Once up she stood there for a brief minute. "Thank you for protecting me last night Mr. Cedric."

The goofy smile vanished and his head fell back against the pillow. "You shouldn't thank me Princess."

"Why not?"

He simply looked away as if guilty of some great crime, but she hadn't been under a spell this time and he had been a perfect gentleman, sans the cuddling. Maybe it was the cuddling?

"Mr. Cedric I… I slept well, all thanks to you."

A soft smile, and he lifted to sit upright.

"It was the least I could do princess."

"But it still meant a lot to me. I'm going to go change into my dress in the workshop now, okay?"

The sorcerer nodded, and Sofia was off for the day, leaving her phoenix sleeping soundly next to Wormwood. Once Amber got back this needed discussing, NOW.

Sofia went down to breakfast and to her delight her family had returned. They had been informed of the incident in her room and were understandably horrified. The guards had scoured the grounds but no one had seen anyone suspicious all night. The only thing anyone was aware of happening during dinner was that Cedric had come back from the battle, but no one had seen an intruder follow him in. The conversation turned to the day's plan, and Amber was bursting with excitement. The party Amber had beseeched Desmond to throw was going to start this afternoon. Sofia dropped several not so subtle hints that she wanted Amber alone, and the girl caught wind of her intentions immediately, excusing herself and her nervous younger sister from breakfast.

Once in Amber's room the girl was all a twitter of the happenings in Corinthia. Clio had won standing ovations for her performance, although James had fallen asleep through the second half and was grimacing through the more operatic parts.

"But you know James."

"Yeah, I do Amber."

"Come here Sofia, it's been weeks and you still haven't tried on the special dress I had made for you."

"But Amber there's something I need to discuss with you."

"Oh fine, we can do that while you try it on. Hugo's going to love it!"

Sarcastic eye rolls did nothing to damper her sister's spirits. Amber brought Sofia behind her dressing curtains and helped the girl out of her usual purple dress and into the blue and white lace ensemble. It pulled a bit uncomfortably at Sofia's larger chest, and extended a bit past her ankles. Again she felt short and over developed, but her mind was far more distracted by the developments of last night.

'You're mine. All mine.'

Remembering his words sent pinpricks down her arms while Amber laced up her corset. Seeing Cedric in various degrees of undress had been more than a little… pleasant. His skin was very soft. He always seemed to notice her distress, and always took action if something was wrong. His magic was ah-mazing, but more so the care he put into his spells, his potions, and the dedication he'd showed when bandaging her leg. Oh… how his bangs looked in the rain…. Lost in her imaginings, that he might actually, really like her she failed recognize the growing impatience of one golden haired princess.

Amber stopped tugging and stood there with arms crossed. "Sofia, are you okay?"

"Huh? Oh sorry Amber, did you say something?"

"Yes, but that's not the point. You've been a bit spacey all morning, and weren't you going to tell me something? If it's just your room you shouldn't worry, Daddy will make sure the perpetrator is found."

"Amber that's not it. But I was wondering about something."

"Oh just tell me Sofia."

The princess hesitated, unsure of how to broach the topic, and took several unsure steps, pacing in a circle. "It's just, how do you know if someone is attracted to you?"

Amber's eyes widened and she started blinking strangely. "Okay what's going on Sofia? Is it Hugo? Did you finally realize you have a burning passion for him too!"

"Ah, that's a no. But I think someone else likes me."

"Ooh who is it Sofia? Which kingdom do they rule?"

"He… doesn't actually rule a kingdom." Sofia chuckled at the remembrance of Cedric stealing her amulet to take over this particular realm.

"Oh, well then which kingdom do his parent's rule?"

"They don't rule a kingdom either Amber."

The girls eyes darted around, but then the princess gave a suspicious pucker, "It's not Prince Albert of Galdiz, is it? I know his grandfather has ruled a long time and their kingdom is rich but I heard he spends all day hiking through the wilderness. He wouldn't be a very attentive husband."

"NO Amber. He's not a prince."

"Wait! Oh no Sofia he's not a boy from the village is he? Is this where you've been sneaking off too?"

The golden girl had started advancing and Sofia was retreating into the corner, hands up in defense. "Well, you see... Okay, I really need your advice, because I'm not entirely sure he likes me in that way, so if you promise not to tell anyone then I'll tell you who he is."

"Deal. Now spill it."

"Okay, it's Mr. Cedric. He's been acting odd for a couple weeks and well, he called me 'his Sofia' a couple times."

Amber started at her for a spilt second, then burst out laughing. The elder princess took several backward steps and leaned up against her bed whilst convulsing. Sofia was not amused. "It's not nice to laugh at me Amber."

The brown-eyed girl grabbed her sides and suppressed the jovial sounds. "Oh I'm sorry Sofia but you had me worried there for a minute."

"And you're not now because why?"

"Oh Sofia, everyone knows Cedric is gay. He's probably just protective of you, like Daddy is."

WHAT.

"Mr. Cedric is gay? No way. There is NO possible way he's gay."

Amber shot her a sarcastic look. "Of course he is Sofia! He's always nervous around older men, and stutters constantly around Daddy."

"Dad just makes him nervous!"

"Actually Sofia, Cedric has a massive crush on Daddy. Being the gracious ruler Daddy is he tries to just ignores it for the most part. He doesn't want to embarrass Cedric any more than necessary."

"You know Amber, it's not nice to assume things like that about people. Has anyone asked him?"

Amber stood there stone stiff. "Why in all the kingdoms would I ask Cedric if he is attracted to men? It's obvious Sofia. It's as plain as the nose on his face. All of the staff says it too."

Sofia wasn't convinced and crossed her arms as she sat on the bed. Amber let out an exasperated huff, "Come on Sofia! You know him better than anyone, he's NEVER had a girlfriend, and he avoids other sorcerers for the most part and any romantic situations."

"But he admires women from afar. I've heard him call Amalthea 'exquisite', and he's ogled several sorceresses now and again, even way back to Miss Nettle in disguise as Sasha."

"Oh Sofia, I call chocolate 'exquisite' all the time, and gaze longingly at it too. Besides…" Amber walked closer to her sister, "I heard Mom and Dad talking several years ago about it."

"What did they say Amber?"

The golden haired girl fiddled with her fingers a bit, then began the tale. "So, I went to their room because I wanted to ask for a new saddle for Lyra, and Mom was kind of upset because you'd fallen asleep on Cedric for hours and he was stroking your hair. Dad told her not to worry, and that Cedric would never violate you because he's gay."

Sofia turned her head sideways, "That's all Amber? That's the big proof."

Amber shook her head, "No, Dad told her about a particular incident that happened right after my Mom died. Apparently Cedric snuck in to Daddy's bed one night, completely naked, and started to come on to Daddy."

WHOA. "Really Amber?"

"Yep. He was swooning and declaring his undying devotion like a love-struck puppy. Daddy was so freaked out he ran out of the room."

Amber started to pace a bit but kept on talking. "Honestly Sofia, I don't know why you'd care. If anything you should be happy. Mom and Dad know Cedric doesn't think about women that way so you've had unfettered access to him for years."

No way. That's why there was never a question about all the time she spent with Cedric? She'd taken him all over the kingdom on mild adventures and spent countless hours alone with him in his tower casting spells. Maybe Amber was right. This was all just in Sofia's head. Sofia thought back to some of the things Greylock had said.

'Unlike Cedric this isn't my first time near a woman.'

And then yesterday when Cedric had been so concerned about Rolland 'approving' of him. And the way he always crumpled into a puddle around the king, it did seem like more than just a nervous reaction. Did it make sense?

No way.

"But Amber, he runs his hands through my hair!"

"Don't you know anything about gay men Sofia? They like hair, and clothes, and fashion. Come on Sofia, haven't you noticed the way he sashays around when he walks, the extra layers he dresses in, his flamboyant nature, and that yellow bow! If that's not a telltale sign I don't know what is."

"But he kissed me!"

Amber paused. "What do you mean he kissed you? As in, on the lips?"

Sofia listed to the side, "Well no, but on the top of my head, and on my cheek!" Sofia pointed emphatically to the place Cedric's soft lips had pressed onto her but yesterday.

"Sofia Daddy kisses me in those places. It doesn't mean anything."

"But Amber he hugs me!"

"You're a hugger Sofia. He'd really like to be hugging Daddy, trust me on this."

"AAAGGGHH!" Sofia had flung her hands up in frustration.

Amber sat back and rolled her eyes. "Alright, I didn't want to have to show you this, but it seems necessary." The girl rose and walked into her closet, returning with a handful of parchments. "Here Sofia, I think you should read these." The girl handed the confused princess the papers, yellowed with age, and Sofia unfurled the first one. Shock and confusion lay before her, for there in Cedric's very own handwriting was personalized romantic poetry.

My Dearest One,

Come away with me,
Beyond the seas we shall flee
… Our love will be spoken for eternity
… … I will bring solace to your soul gratefully
For you are the candle to my flame

Come away with me,
Leave behind society
… with its ideas of what our lives should be,
… … and if I had but the strength of soldiers in me
I'd punish all who dared to seek your fate

Come away with me,
To a future so bright
…that the stars above will dance in delight
… … and our hearts will provide needed warmth in the night
for our desires deep within

Come away with me,
Abandon the crown,
… What could it bring beyond passage of time
… … A trove of treasures resplendently fine
are but trinkets to the depths of my love.

Come away with me,

My Dearest One.

"See Sofia. When Mom and Dad were talking about Cedric he pulled these out of a drawer and gave them to Mom. Long ago, during my parents engagement these notes started to show up, and they only got more explicit after they got married. Daddy just ignored them, hoping it would stop. It finally did, but I don't think Cedric ever got over Daddy. I mean, he still works here after all."

She couldn't believe it. There before her was proof, actual physical proof that Cedric was, at least at one time, smitten with King Rolland. As if hit by a granite statue the awkwardness of last night came back, the 'special someone' Cedric didn't want to talk about must have been Rolland. Of course Baileywick was sent by Rolland. He sends Baileywick everywhere. She thought further back, and when she had lunch with Cedric in the gazebo he's mentioned not being Rolland's biggest fan anymore. Maybe that's why he'd been after Rolland's kingdom and needed the Amulet all that time ago. She'd never actually found out the reason beyond a simple 'I want to be powerful', maybe he wanted revenge for the rejection. Maybe he wanted to reverse their roles, and no longer feel the powerlessness that comes when loving someone who cannot return the emotion. A salve for his hurting soul. The thought evoked a strong throbbing sensation in Sofia's chest, and she couldn't bear to read the rest of the stack.

Idiocy. Pure, unadulterated idiocy. Sofia felt the biggest fool this world had ever known for entertaining the notion that his hands might just have enjoyed touching the skin upon her stomach last night.

The golden princess realized that very little reading was transpiring, and there were delicate hands clutching Sofia's. "Oh Sofia.. don't tell me YOU have a crush on Cedric?

"What! Oh no Amber, I was just thinking about things and—"

Amber was shaking her head slightly, "Oh Sofia I'm so sorry to be the one who told you. I know he's a nice guy and all under that gruff and bumbling exterior, but honestly you can do better and you will! If you come with us today I bet Desmond could invite Hugo to join us."

"No thanks."

"Wait, do you mean 'no thanks' to Hugo, or 'no thanks' to Desmond's party?"

"To both, I just need some time to think about things. I guess I was really, REALLY off base." Sofia's shoulders slumped as the realization started to sink in.

"Oh Sofia you usually are about these things. Cheer up! It's just Cedric, and Hugo is SO much better. Seriously, he's young, handsome, kind, and he cares about you so much.."

"Amber I don't have a crush on Cedric, and I don't find Hugo charming in the slightest! I just need to think. Please."

"Then think about how wonderful the future would be if you marry Hugo. Sofia we'll all get to spend the rest of our lives together. You and Hugo, Hildegard and Axel, James and Clio, and of course my Desmond. It'll be perfect Sofia, just perfect."

"I can't even comprehend that right now Amber. I'm sorry." Sofia grabbed her head and headed to her room down the hall, but was still saddled with a tinge of fear to re-enter it.

She'd been sure, well nearly sure that Cedric truly liked her, perhaps even loved her, but now? The letters in her hand told the tale. He was of a different persuasion. The budding excitement of the early morning melted away, and a distinct feeling of loss crept into its place. She wandered the halls for a bit and found herself standing in front of the garden gazebo. Looking back on it, when he'd picked her up in the rain and bandaged her injured leg it had been so intimate. He'd been so close, he'd taken the time to help her, he seemed to care so much. She sat there, arms crossed and face buried within them upon the table, trying to resolve the strange feelings conflicting inside her.

She heard rushed footsteps, and looked up to see Cedric panting and gripping onto his leg. He'd been running again. "There you are. I thought you'd found another... well never mind what I thought. What in the name of Merlin are you doing out here Sofia? Didn't you sleep well enough last night?"

She did have her head on the table just now. "It's not that Mr. Cedric, it's just, well something's bothering me."

"Well out with it woman. I can't have you conflicted and deciding to do something about it without consulting me again." The sorcerer had stepped closer and was clearly concerned.

"It's just, can you tell me the truth Mr. Cedric?"

The man froze, and gulped nervously. "The t-t-truth princess? Aaaaah w-w-what truth is that?"

Sofia gripped the letters in her hand tighter. "Amalthea. When you said she was 'exquisite', did you mean it?" She watched as he turned his face upwards, that only one eye could see her, and mouth gaped open. He looked horrified. Oh no, Amber was right.

"Please Mr. Cedric, just tell me how you feel about Amalthea, or Minerva, or even Sasha before we realized she was Ms. Nettle. You said such nice things about all of them, did you mean those things Mr. Cedric? Did you think they were really attractive?" She stood and moved closer to the sorcerer, and he retreated a step in kind for each of hers. "Were you in love with them?"

His hands flung up, and he looked every part a deer caught in the bowman's sights. "I-I-I d-d-d-don't really think this is appropriate Sofia."

"But just tell me the truth Mr. Cedric, I'm not going to hate you or stop being here for you."

That chiding finger was waggling back and forth, "Oh n-n-no. This is a trap, a huge colossal monumental trap that I refuse to fall into. I know the tricks you women play, and I'm not falling for it."

"I'm not trying to trick you Mr. Cedric, I just want to know. I need to know how you feel inside."

Frustration mounting, his hands started clenching, "This is completely, unequivocally unfair Sofia. Never in all my years did I ask for this, but now I suffer with it all the same. I'm not that kind of man! I wouldn't go after those women at all. There, now is that enough explanation, or do I need to prostrate myself upon the very grass you stand upon!"

By the stars, suffering with something he didn't ask for, not that kind of man, it was true. Sofia stopped advancing and stared off at the grass, her breath catching in her throat. The sorcerer was watching her intensely and started running his hands through his hair frantically. "Sofia I don't have much experience in what to do or say right now, but you have to know that those women didn't mean anything to me. They were just pretty, and somewhat talented at sorcery, that's all."

The words pummeled her and she gripped the parchments even tighter. Cedric caught sight of them, and grew immediately suspicious.

"Now see here Sofia, what have you been reading?"

She flung her hand and the love notes behind her in a last ditch effort to conceal them, but it was too late. "Whatever you've been reading has obviously affected your mind. Hand it over."

"No Mr. Cedric, I can't"

"Hand it… oooh!" He'd lunged for the papers, and she dodged him once, then twice. She turned to start running but then found herself stuck to the ground. He'd cast a sticking spell.

"Let me GO!"

"Not until you tell me why in Merlin's name you're going on about this now, so hand over the letters."

"Alright. Alright I will, just unstick me first."

He squinted a look of distrust at her, but finally undid the spell. Reluctantly she held out her hand, and he took the parchments from her. One glance at the first letter and he went sheet white. Hyperventilating, he finally looked up at her.

"Where did you get these?"

Sofia glanced around for an escape route. Suddenly Cedric crumpled them in his hands and stomped angrily on the ground. "WHERE DID YOU GET THESE?!"

"I just… Is it true Mr. Cedric? What the letters say? Did you really love—"

"Enough! This isn't YOURS Sofia! These weren't for you to read, EVER!" He was absolutely furious, his entire face had broken out in crimson and he seemed to be shooting fire from his eyes.

"I just wanted to know how you FELT Mr. Cedric! I was so confused!" she screamed it back at him.

"But how COULD you Sofia! I can't BELIEVE you found these, WHERE did you find them! TELL ME!"

"I… I got them from Amber, and she took them from Mom, who got them from Rolland."

The man broke out in a fit of unnerving laugher as tears began streaming down his face. "Cedric I'm sorry, I didn't ask for them, it just happened."

"So you've ALL been reading the depths of my agony around the courtyard, is that it? That I might die of the mortification, is that what you want? I could prance through the gardens naked too! That all you royals might laugh at the royal fool, a favorite pastime it would seem!"

Oh no. Cedric's heart had been broken, and he was still suffering from the pain of it. "Mr. Cedric it's not like that!"

Cedric kept stomping angrily on the ground, "Leave it to Rolland to put on full display the agony of my heart. I suppose he simply didn't care after all and wanted a hearty laugh as well, isn't that right princess?!"

How could she call herself his friend and never notice he was in love with Rolland? "Mr. Cedric I'm sorry, I—"

"Sorry doesn't set it right! If it did I'd never still be the lowly court magician bowing to his Majesty's every command!"

"Mr. Cedric please, I—"

"Oh the humiliation, the… wait. You read these, knowing I wrote them. Didn't you princess?"

He'd tensed up again, tears still streaming down as he shook the letters angrily in her face. "Didn't you princess? You'd recognize my handwriting in an instant, I'm sure of it." The growling man was in her face, breathing down her neck.

"Yes."

"You meant to make a fool of me too, didn't you! Just like them, just like before!"

"I'd never want to make a fool of you Mr. Cedric!"

"Yet here you are, playing me for the biggest royal fool that ever was. I can't even LOOK at you princess!"

"Please don't say that Mr. Cedric! I'm sorry I read the letter, but I had to know, I had too—"

"NO! YOU'RE JUST LIKE THEM! If I'd only walked away then, well I'm not going to make the same mistake twice princess. I DIDN'T NEED IT BEFORE, AND I DON'T NEED YOU!"

It came barreling out of him like a cannon blast, knocking the wind out of the princess. She erupted in a fit of tears, her hands shaking in front of her face. Upon utterance of the words Cedric stopped convulsing with anger, and after a moment realized what he'd just said, and to whom he'd said it. He sunk his head in shame.

"Merlin's mushrooms."

She took off running as fast as her legs could carry her toward the stables and Minimus. He'd just dissolved their association, a bond that she'd considered sacred.

Desperate for escape she grabbed at Minimus's reigns, but the horse didn't budge. She tugged harder, "Minimus, please I can't stay here! Oh please! BWAHHH!"

The horse refused to budge. WAIT. His eyes were closed. "Minimus, are you okay? You can't be sleeping still, MINIMUS I NEED YOU! MINIMUS!"

The horse was asleep. This was no normal slumber, he was enchanted. Cedric…

She heard the sorcerer call her name in the distance and panicked. Oh no, anything but more fighting, she simply couldn't take it. No more. She took off running out of the stables and out toward the front gate, and before her Amber and James were riding in the royal coach on their way to Desmond's kingdom. Amber took one look at Sofia and flung her arms forward, offering a conciliatory hug. Sofia ran willingly into the kind gesture and sobbed onto Amber's shoulder.

James was thoroughly confused, "Sof, what's the matter?"

Sofia couldn't muster a response, so Amber shook off his questions with a hand wave and directed Sofia to sit beside her, stroking the distraught girl's hair. With a flick of the reigns they were off to Desmond's kingdom, leaving Cedric behind.

It didn't matter how their relationship was defined anymore. Now it was simply gone.