Chapter 4: Outsider

I didn't stop running until I was breathless. I hadn't gone back the way I'd came. I hadn't been thinking. I kneeled on the rough ground beneath me and put my hands over my ears. Now that I was away from everyone, I needed to calm down. I attempted to take a few deep breaths, but instead of the breaths being long and calming, they were more fast paced and left me more breathless than when I had started.

I was still panicking.

I was so lost in my own head that even with the advanced hearing I hadn't used in years, I still didn't notice someone approaching me. And from the giant hand that landed on my back, I should have heard them a mile away.

But the hand managed to start me, and I breathed in sharply. "I'm sorry for startling you," A voice that was deep but gentle spoke in turn to my response. "You're safe. If you don't calm down, you'll hyperventilate." I attempted again to breath deeply, but it was shaky and difficult. "It might help if you lock your hands behind your head, instead of on top of them. And if you can sit up straighter, that would help too."

I shook my head, my hands still firmly on my ears. "N-no, I…" And when I was still in the middle of shaking my head, my eyes finally landed on the person trying to help me.

He had long blonde hair and facial hair to match, but the most striking features were his ears, and the long, white tusks protruding from his face. I stared at him for a long moment, eyes wide, and before I realized what I was doing, my hands lowered from my head to cover my mouth.

I'd changed more than I'd even realized. My hands touched the cold nose of a wolf. If I was hallucinating, this person had already seen all they needed to. I need to run, I need to get home. I tried to stand, but it was then I realized that the entire time I'd been staring at this man, I'd been holding my breath. When I stood, the world swayed.

And then everything was dark.

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The first thing I noticed was that I was in a bed. There were soft pillows underneath me, and a fluffy comforter on top of me. The second thing I noticed was that I hadn't changed back when I fainted. A part of the panic I had felt before started to build up again, but I squashed it quickly. It was easier this time. I inhaled slowly and before long had passed, I was human again. Normal again.

It served both to comfort me, and to make me uneasy. Like this, I wouldn't be hauled away for being a freak of nature. But since I didn't know where I was, maybe I already had been. Defending myself would be easier as a wolf. But I could defend myself now, too, couldn't I?

I looked around the room I was in and found that besides the modern bed, the room was actually very traditional in style, complete with a single shoji door to serve as the rooms entrance. At first I thought that the door had a strange silhouette built into the paper, but I realized as the door slid open that it was actually the shadow of someone standing outside of it.

The man with the tusks was the one that walked into the room.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, but when I opened them, the figment of my imagination I had thought would disappear was still present. I wasn't hallucinating. This had to be real.

The man seemed surprised to find me awake, and a little...nervous? It was surprisingly easy to read the expressions on his face, and I attributed it to all the time I'd spent with animals when I was younger. He didn't approach, and I realized he was staring specifically at my head. "Your ears…"

I stilled and slowly reached up to my head. Did they not go away? But my hand landed on my hair. I looked at him in confusion until he continued, "...Are you hurt?"

I blinked. "I-I'm fine." Hurt? Why would he think I-oh. It was then that I realized maybe changing back wasn't a good idea. I was face to face with a...boar? And he was real, and he thought I was a wolf.

He seemed unconvinced, but he approached slowly, like I might flee from him. And while a part of me wanted to, the part of me that was realizing the situation I was in was real wanted to learn what was going on. When he reached the bed he sat on the side of it, near my feet. He looked my way. "My name is Iozen."

"My name is Miyazaki Yuki."

He nodded slowly as though committing it to memory. "Do you remember what happened to you?"

"I...I was on my way home, but there was an alley as I was passing by. I heard a sound so I went to investigate…" I allowed myself to trail off. How could I explain that I thought an animal was being hurt, only to find out there wasn't-exactly-an animal at all?

But the man-Iozen-took my silence as a confirmation that I didn't remember. "Was that alley much larger than it should have been?"

"I guess so...it did take a long time before I came out."

"It seems you are new to this town, as I'm sure you would have known what that alley was. It's a passage to the world of humans, and you must take very specific routes to get there. It's lucky you were able to find your way back here."

World of humans? Back…? "Back here…?" I gave a shake of my head. "I don't even know where here is!" My voice rose of my own accord. I felt like a child again. Not knowing what was going on or who I even am. Human. I reminded myself. You are human.

Humans can't turn into wolves at will. I shook my head at the inward declaration. I may not have started human, but I'd made my choice.

Outside my internal debate, Iozen was scowling. It made his tusks more pronounced and I tried not to stare. Instead, I lowered my eyes to my hands resting on the covers. "I'm sorry," I told him, "I didn't mean to yell."

"It's alright. You were very upset. It's not unusual for your memory to be fuzzy, so I understand why you're confused."

"But my memory isn't fuzzy. This place...I don't know what it is. I didn't know a place like this could exist. This...World of Humans you mentioned, that's where I've lived. Always."

Iozen grew quiet, and I was worried I'd messed up somehow. When I looked at him again, he had that same scowl on his face. "You've...never been with your own kind before?" There was something sympathetic in his voice.

"My own kind…?" I spoke softly, and it wasn't meant to be a question, not really, but he answered anyway.

"Beasts."

My heart felt as though it had been stung. Not normal. Not human. Wolf. Beast. The stinging sensation went from the feeling of being stung to a fist clenching down on my chest. "I'm human!" I had practically screamed it at him, and he stood from the bed as he realized he'd said something wrong. I felt bad, but I was so angry. All this time trying so hard to fit in, to be like every other human, and now something like this happens? Why?

And then, as if just to spite me, I felt it as my control slipped again until I didn't look very human anymore.

Iozen stood there watching me, and only a second passed before the sliding door flew open, creating a screeching sound that somehow managed to snap me out of my anger.

Instead, I buried my face in my hands and cried.

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A/N I know it's only, like, half the size of the last chapter, but this was the best cut off point I had. Sorry for not updating in….3 months. I'll do better, I swear.