Chapter 21: Despair
Cedric just stood there twitching. It was rather awkward, but he didn't have that glare of remembrance she expected had he recognized Westin outright. Sofia's hands dropped to her sides and she looked confused at the sorcerer. "Mr. Cedric, are you okay?"
Cedric stiffened; a sly grin and deranged glint in his eyes took hold. Then he suddenly reached up his sleeve and started grasping at air strangely. The sorcerer's eyes fell down to her hand. He stared regretfully at his wand.
Cedric meant to curse Westin. Oh no! He really did recognize her cousin from the battle. Before Sofia could react Westin started rubbing the back of his neck nervously, then bit his lip and cleared his throat, stepping forward toward the sorcerer. Cedric froze, but then the strapping young man extended a sincere hand toward the sorcerer. "It's an honor to meet you, Sir."
Confusion reigned, and the sorcerer eyed the man's hand wearily, scanning him lengthwise in a defensive position. Sofia just stared at the odd exchange.
Finally Westin withdrew his hand and began shifting strangely. "Uh, well I guess you're back so Sofia's safe."
Cedric bristled, "Of all the impetuousness, a guardsman has no business addressing the princess in such a casual way. I should have your job for what I've seen, and your head for what I suspect has been going on up here, and I'm of more than half a mind to do just that!" A small relief that Cedric seemed not to recognize her cousin was supplanted by her disdain at his incivility.
"Mr. Cedric! Why would you say something like that to him!" The sorcerer cringed as Sofia glared at him disapprovingly. An angry scowl and crossed arms of defiance resulted, but he stopped advancing toward the spare wands.
'I guess I'd better go." Westin turned and whispered, "See you later" as fire practically shot from the sorcerer's eyes. Another nervous chuckle, and Westin excused himself. As he exited the man looked back a couple times, but then thought better of whatever it was he so desperately wanted to say and continued. Not a second later and Cedric had lunged forward, grabbing his family wand from Sofia's hand rather forcefully. Before she could respond he'd started shaking violently. She simply stared at him, completely confused as to how he could be so incredibly upset if he didn't recognize Westin from the battle.
Cedric took a couple menacing steps forward, eye still twitching and hand clutching at the air in between them, then he started frantically inspecting the potions table. As if shot with electricity the sorcerer ran into his bedchambers.
What in the world was the matter with him?
Sofia followed him in there, her head still pounding, and found Cedric standing over his bed. "Mr. Cedric, you're scaring me. What's wrong?"
He started up that unnerving laughter again. "Everything seems undisturbed, but I suppose you wouldn't need to use a bed after all." He let loose another deranged chuckle, "MY BED."
WHAT.
"Just what do you think happened Mr. Cedric? I've still got this horrible headache and Westin felt bad for me."
"Wes…tin?" Cedric turned, a look of death in his eyes. "Ah, so we're all fancy free and on a first name basis now, is that it?"
"I—"
"Tell me Sofia, just how many of the guards do you know by name, Hmmmm? Will you be inviting them all up to my tower too, for tea and a side of Sofia for desert?
"CEDRIC!"
"I THOUGHT you were afraid of the new recruits, so you must know him from somewhere. Now spill it, and don't tell me he's just some boy from the village either, I won't believe you."
"I don't… know Westin… that well. It's just…" What could she say? She couldn't tell him how they'd met, or even that he was family from Friezenburg. Revealing him to Cedric would get her cousin killed.
Cedric practically hissed, "Liar. Plain and simple you're lying to me, TO ME Sofia. WHY. WHY!"
"Mr. Cedric I—"
"Did you really have to bring Rolland's doppelganger HERE, to do this in MY TOWER. I can't even stand it!"
The sorcerer flew past her toward the workshop. Sofia followed, and found him gripping the windowsill she'd been sitting on a few minutes prior. "Please don't be upset Mr. Cedric. He just felt bad about my headache, that's all."
"I'm about to develop one too dear. Perhaps I should just get it over with and end the agony of this miserable existence." What? He was staring down at the maroon flowers growing in the windowsill planter. The throbbing in her brain compounded her confusion, and trying to put together the pieces was disrupted as he turned around to face her, hands still gripping the window frame. "You KNOW how much that man hurt me, and yet here you are, grabbing all over his look-alike in MY workshop, in MY sanctuary from that insanity below. How COULD you Sofia?"
It all started to become clear. Cedric had seen a reflection of his rejection by Rolland in Westin's altered features. A young Rolland, one who resembled the man who hurt him so long ago, was standing in his tower and holding onto a girl. It must have evoked some strong and exceedingly unpleasant memories from the past. There was no justifying it; she'd been pretty inconsiderate with his feelings.
"I'm sorry Mr. Cedric, but believe me it wasn't romantic. He was trying to comfort me because I'm in pain, that's all. I'd never want to hurt your feelings."
"I… I don't believe you."
"What?"
"I don't BELIEVE you. There, I said it! You women, manipulating us men just for the pleasure of watching us suffer for it. I simply don't believe you!"
"How can you SAY that?!"
"It's easy, see here. I'll do it again. I. DO. NOT. BELIEVE. YOU. There, I can say it again if need be." Those tears that should have flowed so freely refused to come, but this was painful. So horribly painful it felt as if he'd lit her on fire. She let out a cry of agony and gripped the sides of her head to stop the pounding headache within.
They stood there facing each other in his tower. He stared at his shoes while she grabbed at her cranium. He really shouldn't believe anything she said anymore. All the half truths and outright lies, they were to protect him and everyone else, but the enormity of it all was swirling around inside her, washing away her grip on reality and infiltrating the cracks in her sanity.
"Sofia I just can't do this constant pogo stick of emotions you've got me riding. Don't you understand, I can't do this anymore Sofia!"
His words were like echoes against the throbbing in her head. Each one magnifying the pain inside. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry for everything Mr. Cedric but it wasn't romantic. I know he looks like Rolland but I wouldn't do that to you."
"Then tell me THE TRUTH. All of it, every messy detail of what happened here and how you know him, or I really will end this infernal cycle of torture by the only means I can."
He'd reached out and plucked one of the crimson leaves off the flowers on the windowsill. "Don't think I won't do it Sofia, I can't stand this agony any longer!"
Westin, Lucinda, and even her own safety. It all hung in the balance. She couldn't come clean on who Westin really was.
"I… can't."
"Oooh you wretched female! If you won't tell me then you're NOT truly sorry, are you?" He stomped toward the door, dropping the flower petal and a small intricately folded note as he went.
"Wait Mr. Cedric, don't go! I need your help, my head still hurts so bad."
"Enough. It must not hurt that badly if you're up for fondling Rolland's body double in my workshop!"
Sofia winced again, and the sorcerer stopped in the doorway.
"You just stay right here and I'll be back after the meeting is over to brew something. I'll be in enough trouble as it is without staying longer to brew your potion, what with wasting my time writing you poetry in the meeting and sneaking out to get you snacks, and for what mind you?! To catch you seducing Rolland's doppelganger? Why don't you just mount him and make me WATCH! You wouldn't be the first! Oh the humiliation. The torment. Sometimes I wish I'd never been born, what with all the suffering you women bring to me."
With that he stomped off. Too upset and in pain to process what just happened Sofia collapsed to her knees.
After a minute there were tiny pinpricks on her leg. Her phoenix had hoped off the table and was crawling up her lap, nuzzling her beak into the forlorn girl's side. The throbbing simply wouldn't stop. She wanted to take an ice pick and splay her head open to relieve the pressure as Wormwood flapped at her side.
"You know I warned you about this, you should really listen better Princess."
Suddenly Wormwood squawked frantically, "No, stay away from that!"
Sofia released her death grip on her temples to see Wormwood flapping wildly to keep her phoenix away from the flower petal that had fallen. Next to it sat a parchment folded into an origami infinity ring. Sofia reached forward and admired the beauty of it. Cedric had certainly used magic to construct it, as he'd done on several occasions throughout her youth for entertainment purposes, but never this fancy.
This was probably the poetry he'd referred to as he stormed off. She carefully unfolded the note.
I was so broken
The pain of loss consumed me
I frothed with hatred
Desires I had
The souls I longed to conquer
No longer hold sway
Grattitude I give
You force light in my darkness
My moral compass
Such is your power
To smite my demons within
I am surrounded
By your divine grace
The chosen art forgiveness
Winter, blessed by Spring
He'd been writing this for her, as a bold statement of their friendship while he was supposed to be focused in the meeting. Now he was going back angry and hurt, and he'd have to face the REAL Rolland. Disaster was sure to follow. She couldn't let him suffer like that; there was just no reason for it. Sofia took off out the door, his haikus still in her hand. Wormwood called out to her frantically to stay put as Cedric had asked her to do, but the girl wasn't thinking straight. The throbbing in her head made her balance unsteady, and she gripped the stone walls as she traveled down his tower steps. Closing her eyes to try and dampen the pain she pressed on toward the room at the back of the castle these meetings usually took place in, but it was empty. Lost and in pain in the darkest part of the castle her grip on reality slowly slipped away, and she started wandering the halls in search of the forlorn sorcerer. She may have passed a concerned maid, or maybe two, their words floated by like ephemeral balls of light and strange halos dotted her vision. Had she been poisoned somehow? What was wrong? And why couldn't anything stop the pain?
She'd do anything to make it stop hurting. Fighting with Cedric had made it worse, perhaps reconciling with him would ease the throbbing migraine. She aimlessly wandered down darkened corridors, dropping ever further into the depths of despair when a window with curtains updrawn caught her attention. In the darkened hallway it cast light along the marble corridor. Suddenly the silhouette of a bird was outlined along the floor. Terror gripped her as she flung her head up, observing the outline of an owl on the external windowsill high above her. It was the same species as Donovan's bird, perhaps even.
The same one.
Everything went black. There were screams, and she was again inside the caves. But unlike last time she was free to run, and run she did. But the haunting echoes from Friezenburg refused to be silenced. The explosions, the cries of agony, and the kidnapper's piercing gaze. There were men's voices screaming, and she felt hands trying to grip her. She struggled desperately to get free, and sprinted in this delirious state away from that which would trap her. There was another explosion of light, and Sofia was sure that was the way out of the caves. She ran to it with all her might, but again a hand was trying to grip her, holding her back. She struggled free, and was so close to escape but there was a large object in her way. She climbed on top of it and heard terrified men shrieking, but the words were muffled and she just had to escape.
To escape.
To be safe.
She jumped toward freedom. There was an explosion of purple light, and a figure came into view in the blackness before her. It coalesced into the form of a woman. The lady was hanging upside down, floating if you will through the intermingled blackness and blinding light.
"Aunt… Tilly?"
"Well Hello Sofia, I didn't expect to see you here. Um, where is here exactly dear?"
The screams had subsided, and even the throbbing pain in her head seemed to have temporarily dissipated. "I… I don't know Aunt Tilly. I thought I was in the castle, but then I ended up here."
"Well it's not a pleasant place, but it's nothing two intelligent girls can't get out of, isn't that right dear?"
"I guess so." The woman had floated closer, and was scanning around the black abyss as Sofia's sanity began to return. "Hmm, I see. Well I think I know where we are at least."
Sofia stiffened. "We're in the caves of Southern Friezenburg. I've been here before, when I was kidnapped, and now you're stuck here with me too and in terrible danger. That's all I seem to be able to do, put my friends in danger." Sofia started sobbing, the tears finally able to flow.
'Oh dear, Sofia sweetheart come here for a moment." The girl relaxed a bit and took a step forward, letting her aunt wrap her in an embrace. "Kidnapped? Some nasty thing have been going on in Enchancia lately, huh?" Sofia nodded. "I'd better come pay my baby brother a visit, and you too dear."
"What? You can't go to Enchancia right now. We're stuck in these caves together Aunt Tilly, and this time Cedric doesn't know we're here, no one will come to save us. We're going to die, they're going to kill us, and it'll be all my fault. Everything is my fault. Everything is!"
The woman shook her head, "No dear. We're not in any cave. We're in your mind, and since when do we need someone to 'save' us?" The woman bent down and flicked Sofia's chin with her index finger. "Don't you remember what I told you my little adventurer?" Sofia sniffled and Tilly smiled, "all you need is two cups of courage, some pluck and dedication to doing the right thing. Then everything else will fall into place."
Tilly gripped Sofia's hand and the frightened girl took a step toward the portal of light coalescing in front of them. "I'm scared Aunt Tilly. I don't know what's out there."
"It's the future dearest, and one can't run away from the future."
"But, what if I keep trying my best but things only get worse. People are dying, and… and…" Sofia wanted to tell her aunt everything, but she had already said she'd come to the castle and pay Rolland a visit. The same mental block that prevented her from confiding in Cedric took hold, and she held her tongue.
"Well Sofia, it's time you stopped reacting to whatever is bothering you and started acting."
The princess just stared confused and lonely at her aunt. "Dear, as long as YOU do what's right, and stand up for your convictions with courage, things will turn out okay."
"Are you sure aunt Tilly?"
"Of course, otherwise why would your Amulet have brought me here to help you?"
Sofia reached down and clutched the glowing purple object with her free hand. Even now, while trapped inside her own mind the Amulet was there, helping to guide her. Frightening images sprung forth, baring her path to the light. The bloody sword, the owl, Hildegard bound on the ground. Sofia tried to run away, but Tilly held her close. "No Sofia, whatever it was you saw is breaking your mind. You need to stand and confront it. Just take a deep breath and say, 'You do not control me. I am in control.' Try it dear."
The princess gave her aunt several incredulous looks, but stood as tall as she could, "I am in control. You can't hurt me." The lack of confidence in her voice dropped away with each repetition, until she stood with Matilda at the edge of the light. Donovan's piercing gaze was the last obstacle. She looked to Tilly, and the dutchess cocked her head to the side, "Oh my, those are some blue eyeballs. Well Sofia, whatever you've got to say, you'd better say it or we're not getting out of here."
One extended deep breath was taken, and she tried to address the piercing stare, but instead of defeating the image she faltered and crumpled to the ground. The Dutchess bent over next to her, "Whopsie-daisy! Whatever's the matter dear?"
"He killed Desmond, and he tried to hurt me, but he wasn't wholly evil. He lost his family and was in so much pain, just like everyone else."
"Ooooh dear. Sofia, look at me." The older woman lifted Sofia's chin with her short fingers, "You've given the power of your voice over to that man. Don't let anyone control your thoughts or make you afraid dear. You are clever, strong, and so special. Never stop believing it."
"But I, I'm not really that special. I'm not like Amber or James. Things happened to me that were special, but I'm not intrinsically special."
"But you are dear, and the sooner you remember what makes you that way, the sooner you can confront those creepy eyeballs hovering over there. Seriously that guy needed to take it down a few notches."
What did make her special? She wasn't particularly pretty, tall, or thin like Amber. She wasn't the best at magic ever, just in her class at royal prep. She didn't have a boyfriend, and if she were lost in Friezenburg no one would be able to tell her apart from the thousands of other women roving about the wastelands. But then the note Cedric had just written her came drifting through her thoughts.
Helping to turn his heart from evil was her greatest success. Her forgiveness of other's sins and grace in the face of negativity was what made her special. There was a brief pause, and she stood defiant in front of the piercing gaze. "Even though I hated you, I can forgive you, you can't take that away from me. I refuse to be a victim any longer."
The eyes melted away and the white light of morning burst forth as the image of Aunt Tilly began to fade into the twinkling purple light. "Thank you Aunt Tilly."
"Don't thank me Sofia, it was your courage and cleverness that got you out of there. Cheerio!"
The light burst in all around her. She was dangling off the side of a balcony, one hand was being held by a man struggling against gravity to keep her from falling. Her head had dropped down and both her shoes had fallen to the patio several stories below. The headache had lessened, but wasn't entirely gone. She hung there, spinning ever so slightly in the cool autumn breeze while the sound of men shrieking came from below. Rolland was there on the patio, and behind him Cedric stood and stared. He looked as if someone had ripped his heart out and fed it to a lava lizard. For a moment her eyes caught his horrified gaze, but then a second hand was upon her wrist.
"SOFIA!"
She managed to crane her neck upward, and Westin had a hold of her deadweight hanging off the balcony. His tall red hat had been knocked off saving her, and those conjured sandy brown bangs were fluttering in the breeze. She felt him shift and heave, pulling her upward and over the railing, to safety. A strong grip on her midsection, and the man sat there alongside her catching his breath.
"Did I… jump off the balcony?" Westin nodded in the affirmative with an inhuman amount of concern. "Oh."
"Sofia what happened? I tried to stop you in the hallway and you pushed me away. It's like you weren't yourself."
"I wasn't." She reached up and started stroking her amulet. "I thought I was in the caves again fleeing for my life."
"Oh, so that's why you pushed me away?"
"Uh-huh."
"And you jumped off the railing because…?"
"I thought it was the exit from the tunnels. I'm sorry Westin. I really didn't want to hurt myself, just escape."
"Wow that's awful. I'm so glad you're okay now though." There was a brief relaxing pause, and Westin shifted his arm around her. "So... what was that weird purple light?" Oops. Westin had seen the Amulet in action, some sort of explanation had to be given. She reached up and stroked the purple jewel. "This is a magical stone. It helps me when I'm in trouble."
"Wow, I wonder if mine can do that?"
Sofia looked up to see Westin drawing that eerie glowing stone he'd received from Birk all that time ago. It had come from off the wall of the original mine. "I don't know." She reached forward and inspected the thing. "Mr. Cedric said that my Amulet was the most powerful of magical stones, but that doesn't mean this one can't do stuff too."
"Whoa, cool. Say, did Cedric give it to you? You know, as a present? You two seem pretty close. Really close actually."
"We're best friends, I thought I told you that before."
"Well yeah, you did, but when I saw the look he was giving me as I held you, well I thought you might be more than friends."
"Huh? What do you mean Westin?"
"As in, it kind of seemed like he was your lover, or something like that." A suddenly shy Westin bent his chin into his chest.
"Oh no, not at all. Mr. Cedric is just VERY protective of me, and well, I think he's funny, and incredibly amazing at sorcery, but it's not like that."
"You're blushing cousin."
"WHAT!" Sofia turned embarrassed. WAS she blushing? Why would she be? It must be the adrenaline from dangling off the balcony. "No I'm not, and he can't like me like that anyway."
"Why not? You're pretty and clever, and I've seen you do some amazing sorcery yourself. Sorcerers like sorcery, don't they?" Her cousin turned and muttered something that sounded like "I wish I knew sorcery".
"Well yes he does get happy when I get spells right, but he just can't like me that way, okay?" Her confused cousin wouldn't take no for an answer, and she really shouldn't have propagated rumors, but Cedric had confirmed it and everyone else in the castle knew, Amber had said as much. Westin was bound to find out soon on his own. "Look Westin, Mr. Cedric doesn't really like girls, at least not in the way you're suggesting."
His eyes bulged out and a huge grin sprang onto his face, "REALLY!"
His generally positive reaction took her aback. "Yeah. He's got a thing for my Dad, King Rolland. Seeing your disguise probably brought back some bad memories for him, as I'm sure Dad rejected him many years ago."
The man nodded, and stared off down the hallway happily.
"Sofia!" came echoing up the stairs. Rolland was nearby, probably followed by Amalthea and Edith.
"Westin listen to me, you can't tell anyone about how powerful my Amulet is, okay?"
"Why?"
"Well, I'd rather not have everyone know about it. Bad sorcerers like to try and steal if from me, so the less people know about it the better." Edith had seen it in the caves, and recognized it. She would need to be extra vigilant around the woman from now on.
"Got it."
"SOFIA!" James had come running up alongside them and Sofia shoved the eerie magical jewel from Maldonia into her pocket. "There you are! What happened? You looked possessed."
"I… my head hurt really bad."
"SOFIA!" Rolland had emerged, having run up several flights of stairs. He pulled Sofia into a forceful hug followed closely behind by Cedric. The sorcerer had bounded out from the stairwell, and was trying desperately to catch his breath. He looked drained of color and planted himself along the wall opposite where Rolland was hugging the girl.
A deep exhale, and the tirade began. "Sofia what were you THINKING!" She opened her mouth, but the concern had melted away and only fury was left. "How could you do something so reckless?! So impulsive! Don't you realize what could have happened if this young man didn't get to you in time!"
Rolland was gesturing toward Westin, who had stood to attention and was watching this down dressing uncomfortably. Rolland turned to the youth, "Thank you Guardsman. I owe you my daughter's life." Suddenly Rolland realized the similarities in their appearances, and cocked his head to one side. "You're a handsome young lad. How long have you worked at the palace?"
"I'm new Sire."
"I see. Very good then. You have my thanks, um…"
"It's Westin Sir."
Sofia expected a growl, or maybe a grunt of displeasure to come from Cedric, but the sorcerer just stared at Sofia as if he broke his gaze upon her she'd fall into the pit of doom. Westin shirked away from the unwanted attention a bit. His mission was subterfuge, NOT to garner praise from the King. "I want you to report to the throne room son, I'm going to give you a special accolade, once I'm done here."
Westin gave a small bow and retreated from the scene. On his way out Amalthea and Edith emerged from the stairwell. Westin froze as the witches passed him, and turned to stare at Amalthea as if he'd seen a ghost, but then shook strangely and continued onward down the hall.
Rolland turned to address his daughter again, the most incredibly disapproving stare was reigning down on her once more. He seemed to do a lot of that lately. The feeling was somewhat mutual.
"I can't believe you'd try something like this Sofia. What could have possessed you to do such a thing?"
"But Dad my head hurt, and then the walls started moving, and… and…"
"Hasn't there been enough tragedy lately? What do you think this would have done to your mother! Or your sister? Did you even think about anyone but yourself!"
Sofia was practically sobbing, "But Dad I didn't want to hurt myself, my head's in pain. I just wanted to make it stop hurting and then everything went black. Please believe me."
"Dad stop. Sofia wasn't herself before it happened." Rolland had spun as the crown prince spoke, "She had this glazed over look, like she didn't even recognize me, and was sprinting through the halls. It was really weird Dad, almost like she'd been cursed."
"Cursed? Who's cursed? Where were you before this happened Sofia!" Rolland demanded.
"I was in Mr. Cedric's workshop, but Dad he didn't—"
"CEDRIC!" Rolland turned the color of a tomato but the pale wisp of a man along the back wall didn't budge. His gaze was transfixed on the youngest princess of the land before him. "CEDRIC I swear on my crown if you hexed Sofia into trying to jump off this balcony you'll pay for it with your life!"
"NO DAD!" Sofia had jumped forward, "NO NO! You HAVE to listen to me, Mr. Cedric didn't do anything wrong."
Rolland stiffened. "Oh he didn't, did he? I saw him sneak out of the meeting a little while ago. He was distracted during the meeting too." Rolland was staring menacingly at the sorcerer while he spoke, "What were you planning! How could hurting her benefit you sorcerer?! Does she know something more about what happened in the caves? Was she lying to cover for you about what happened? I thought I could trust her with you, despite your shortcomings."
"No DAD! Mr. Cedric would never hurt me and he saved me in the caves!" Edith scowled as Sofia continued her impassioned plea for Cedric's fate. "I was afraid and lost, I was very afraid of the kidnappers from the caves, that's all."
"You know what I see. I see a girl whose being manipulated by a devious man. You're always covering for him Sofia, but now I think I see clearly. Cedric this is the lowest you could possibly sink. I've been thinking about this a long time and—"
"NO!" Edith had stood smugly, the scowl was gone and a triumphant grin had spread across her face. All the while Cedric just stood there, as if he'd already been sacked.
"No Dad. Stop and listen to me. My head has been throbbing, and I keep imagining I'm still in the caves. I thought I was trapped and I couldn't get out. Please Dad you have to believe me!"
She turned to jockey herself between the infuriated king and the emotionally destroyed sorcerer, and spoke softly to the distraught man along the wall, "Please Mr. Cedric you've got to stand up for yourself, you can't let him do this. It wasn't your fault, it was mine. I shouldn't have disobeyed and left your tower but I couldn't just let you be upset all day. Please you have to believe me."
"Cedric you charlatan, I—"
"STOP!"
Amalthea had stepped forward, putting a hand on Rolland's shoulder. "Your majesty, I think I know what's wrong with your daughter."
Rolland looked across at the woman with confidence, "Can you heal whatever hex he's put on her?"
"Your Majesty, your royal sorcerer did not hex your daughter."
Everyone except Cedric relaxed as Amalthea stepped closer to Sofia. She took a step back and bumped up against Cedric, but he still refused to move, or even breathe. He seemed a statue transfixed on the princess.
"Child look at me, your head began to ache after your rescue, yes?" She nodded, "And are there things that trigger your memories of that place?" Again the princess nodded, "And do you feel like you're back inside the caves?"
"Yes! But I don't know it's not real until later. It really seemed like I was there. It was an owl this time. I saw his owl on the windowsill while I was in the hallways by the servants quarters."
"His... owl?" Rolland's fury had melted away, replaced by pure concern.
"Yes, Donovan had an owl. He used it to help capture us, and then it was there, on the windowsill." Sofia was looking around strangely at the castle windows in the distance beyond the balcony to try and see if she could still see the owl, somewhere, and when she returned her gaze to her father the man looked at her with sympathy. James, Amalthea, even Edith were all staring at her strangely. Like she had some disease.
"Ah." Amalthea turned to address Rolland. "My Lord, your daughter is suffering from neurasthenia. The stress of the trauma has caused her mind to react, it's a protective mechanism."
Rolland took a series of deep breaths, "Is there anything you can do."
"Yes, she needs space, rest, and some of this." Amalthea reached into her pocket and drew a vial of white liquid. "Two drops every hour ought to do it, for now." She reached forward and handed Sofia the vial. "Now that you know what it is, I'm sure you've got a recipe for it, as Goodwin the Great invented it for King Rolland the First." Amalthea was gesturing to the sorcerer behind Sofia, and she turned to whisper to him while voices were swirling all around them.
"Mr. Cedric I'm okay now, I found my way out of the cave."
He looked at her as if she was a ghost and started shaking his head slowly. "No, you're not okay. You keep saying you're okay but you're definitely NOT okay." It came out of him as a desperate whisper.
"But I AM okay, Aunt Tilly came and helped me escape the giant eyeballs." She stated it so matter-of-factly in her normal speaking tone, and his eyes bulged out.
There was silence.
Cedric was still staring at her and his hands had come up. He seemed desperate to touch her, but held back somehow, gulping strangely and glancing up toward Rolland. Sofia turned to see everyone just staring at her. Finally James spoke, "Giant eyeballs?"
"James!" Rolland cut him off, "Your sister is ill, and if it's the same thing my father suffered with she is very ill indeed."
Amalthea turned to the King. "You needn't fear your Majesty, she will be alright. I need to speak with her about what happened. It will help."
Sofia opened her mouth and let two droplets fall onto her tongue and instantly the last vestiges of the headache melted away. Awash with relief, a soothed, "Aaahh" escaped her lips, and Rolland straightened.
"Very good. I'll leave it to you Amalthea. I expect nothing but the finest from the preeminent Royal Sorcerer of Maldonia." He turned and boomed forth a royal proclamation. How Sofia had grown to despise these decrees over the past several weeks. No good ever came of his split second decisions. Not anymore. "No one shall mention this incident to the Queen, or to Amber. Their health is fragile right now, and I can't risk any more near death experiences in my family."
The strain of events had been taking its toll on the king. He had dark circles under his eyes, and seemed worn thin. There would be no hiding those from Miranda, no matter how hard he tried. Rolland gave Sofia another hug, and whispered, "It'll be alright dear. You haven't been to war, so hopefully this will subside quickly", and everyone save for Amalthea retreated from the scene. That is, except Cedric, who stood frozen in place along the palace wall. If only Rolland really knew, but he had no idea what she's really been up to in Friezenburg.
'Um, it's Cedric, right?" Amalthea had taken another step forward toward Sofia and the sorcerer an inch behind. Cedric nodded but kept his eyes squarely on the back of Sofia's head. "Well, would you mind giving us a minute alone? I need to speak with her." He gripped the wall but refused to budge. "Very well, come along Sofia. We can discuss things in the gardens."
Amalthea took the disturbed girl's hand and started leading her down the corridor when Cedric lunged forward and grabbed the other hand, halting Sofia's forward motion.
The women stopped, and immediately the sorcerer released Sofia's hand, flinging his fingers up into his hair. Furrowed brows, Amalthea postured strangely while watching this display. "Do you have something to say Sorcerer?"
There was such pain in his eyes. Amalthea must have noticed it too. Realization struck the princess, "Wait Amalthea, he's just worried about me."
"But I'll keep you safe this time Sofia."
"I know, but can he come too? Please."
"Well alright, I realized you two are friends at dinner some time ago so I can understand his concern. I guess I can arrange something."
They had taken tea in the gazebo. A very upset Cedric sat some ways off in the shade of the palace foyer intensely watching her, but a fair enough distance away for private conversation.
Quietly sipping their tea for some time, Sofia paused to examine this woman. She'd seemed so defeated in the caves. Yet here she sat, with answers. Potentially all the answers to Sofia's questions about the past war in Friezenburg and the fate of the prisoners in Maldonia. But how to ask them without revealing herself as the mystery mage?
"Sofia."
"Yes?"
The woman set down her tea, "Your experience in the caves. It was awful, yes?"
Lip bitten, she glanced downward at the table, then nodded. "Yeah, but that's not important. Hildegard, and Desmond, they and their families are the ones who are really suffering."
There was a deep sigh. "I see. Not to be curt with you, but Desmond and Hildegard aren't suffering any longer." It was a shocking, if accurate statement, to say the least.
"Sofia, you feel the guilt of those who survive a traumatic event. They wonder why they survived when others didn't, but you just have to accept that fate was unkind to them, and move on." Confused, Sofia looked up at the woman, who wore a sympathetic expression. "Child you will find that life is hard, but as long as you remember who you are and find a reason to live you will survive this." Amalthea looked off at the withered greens around them, autumn was in full swing now. The flowers of spring had long since departed, and the reds and golds of autumn had begun to show throughout the gardens.
"What was your reason?" It fell out of Sofia's mouth. Pure and simple curiosity made it flop out, but it stunned the woman. Sofia's eyes went wide, as she shouldn't know about Amalthea's trauma, how she'd sung the funeral lamentations for her lover twice. They'd never exchanged words outside of her mystery mage persona. Amalthea pulled back a bit, craning her head to one side. Her eyes narrowed with the slighest hint of suspicion and distrust and the elder woman sat there, scanning Sofia over.
Oops. Not good. Not good at all. Desperate to cover for herself Sofia's eyes darted around nervously until she spotted the vial in her hand. Squeezing it for dear life she brought it forward between herself and the woman she'd set on edge with careless comments.
"I just thought... I mean... why would you carry this potion around unless you need it?" A rather loud nervous chuckle escaped her, and it seemed to confuse the powerful sorceress sitting across from her. Sofia's gaze dropped to the wand Amalthea carried, if the woman realized she was the mystery mage Sofia had no way to defend herself. Instinctively she looked around for some sort of help and she caught Cedric in her sights. The sorcerer had sprung up from the steps upon hearing her nervous laughter and must have known something was amiss.
"Child..." Sofia turned back and cringed ever so slightly... Oh man, this was gonna be bad.
"You're very clever."
The princess exhaled a little louder than she should have in relief, but quickly caught herself. For her part the elder witch relaxed her shoulders and stretched her arms across the back of the bench she now occupied. "I can see giving you vague platitudes would only be insulting to your cleverness, so I might as well share honestly with you what happened to me. Perhaps you can find some truths in it to help yourself."
Sofia relaxed, and looked back over to Cedric with a somewhat smile. She could see him grumbling and flop back down onto the steps, but his eyes never wavered. It was a bit unnerving being stared at constantly, but Sofia reminded herself the true challenge was the rattlesnake before her. Amalthea seemed to mean well, but one more misstep and the woman would strike.
"I try not to talk about my history, but for you I'll make an exception. I spent many years trapped in the pit you've descended into." The woman leaned over. "Trust me on this, those who perished would never want you to live your life in suffering, reliving those terrifying moments as if somehow that could change the outcome." Sofia was sure Desmond wouldn't want that, but Hildegard, and the words of betrayal and violation she'd uttered right before she died told a different tale.
'You TRAITOR'
Hildegard's last words to her rang out in the princess's mind and more unguarded words tumbled out. "I think Hildegard would have wanted me to suffer."
"That right there is the problem child. I can see your reflecting harshly on yourself. That's understandable. But you know, I see a spark of creativity and talent in you, one that reminds me a lot of myself, even if there is something deeper blocking you from your full potential." The woman had set her penetrating gaze on the girl, and suddenly Sofia realized that Amalthea in turn was trying to extract information from her; that this newfound openness was a way to reel Sofia in. She must have been alluding to the intentional forfeiture of the Hexley hall tournament, but Sofia couldn't answer as to why, and therefore tried her best to stare blankly at the sorceress before her. Amalthea gave the faintest of smiles, and regrouped.
"I too lived in my own failings, for a very long time." Amalthea leaned in, "I was… born in Friezenburg. My childhood was… hard, but I fell in love and I thought my future would be happy."
The elder witches head sunk low, and her voice quieted to a whisper. "My husband was kidnapped, and when I tried to save him he died, and I lost my beloved son in the process. The thought of seeing him again was what I clung too. The hope that I'd hold my baby boy in my arms again, that was the only thing that kept me going for many years." Sofia gasped, the funeral lamentations the witch had referred to while in the mines now made sense. Amalthea felt responsible for her husband's death. But wait, didn't she said she'd sung it twice? It didn't sound like she thought her son was dead as well.
Amalthea hung there, waiting for a response. It was horribly exposing for her to open up like this, and Sofia felt the pangs of sympathy. This woman had suffered so much, but then deep down her instincts were telling the princess not to trust this newfound openness. The sorceress had created a trap for Sofia to fall into, one that she had to try desperately not to fall for.
"But... what about your daughter? You still had her to remember your husband by." Sofia turned and looked up at the castle, "I know when my birth father was gone my Mom clung to me to make it feel better inside."
Amalthea immediately spewed venom, "That lump of a person is just like her father, the last Royal Sorcerer of Maldonia." A rattlesnake indeed. Amalthea went pale. She hadn't meant to reveal that much about herself, it was exceedingly clear. The woman shook strangely and regrouped quickly, "Besides, Cecelia's father died in the last war with Friezenburg."
Sofia gasped, as she knew that Amalthea felt responsible for the last war from their discussion in the Maldonian mine. That dominance Amalthea wore again sprung up, she felt as if she'd turned the tides back in her favor, and leaned in closer. "Yes, it was horrible. He wasn't the brightest, or the most considerate, but in the end I did miss him."
Reeling for something to say, Sofia settled on the usual platitudes, "I'm so sorry for your loss."
Amalthea's gaze shifted, but she continued onward. "I know, it was horrible. I blamed myself for everything that happened. But really, if I'd taken control of my situation sooner then the horrible events that followed might not have happened."
Facts were swirling around, making Sofia's head spin while the witch waited for a response. She wasn't supposed to know Amalthea felt responsible for the war. That was something, and she feigned ignorance. "What horrible events Amalthea?"
The woman gave a soft chuckle, laughing at her younger self and further disarming the princess before her. "Let's just say the last war in Friezenburg should never have happened. If only I'd been wiser, but then one doesn't gain wisdom until one's lived through life and come out tough enough to survive it."
The woman leaned back as Sofia took it all in. Amalthea had been responsible for the last war, somehow, and for the deaths of both the beloved husband of her youth and the last Royal sorcerer of Maldonia. Wait... If Amalthea had grown up in Friezenburg, and then found herself unhappy in Maldonia...
Was she one of 'the lost'?!
For her part the sorceress refused to give up. "You know, you're very easy to talk to, and your voice is so familiar. Almost like I know it… from somewhere." Sofia's eyes went wide. Amalthea was getting too close to the truth. If this continued for longer 'the mystery mage' persona wouldn't be needed any longer, as this sorceress would have her exposed throughout the kingdoms.
"Ah, Thanks for your advice. I appreciate it and I'm so sorry for your losses. That's horrible, but Mr. Cedric looks pretty upset, so I'd better go now." She glanced back at the sorcerer, who was gripping his knees rather forcefully, but still kept that awkward stare on her.
"Alright, just remember, if your head starts to throb or you start feeling overwhelmed just take two drops dear."
She nodded and was off. Thankfully it seemed that Amalthea hadn't figured her out, but it had been too close. Sofia was no expert at espionage, and that woman was more than she could tangle with in that regard. It would be best to avoid her from now on. In a few moments of hurried steps she was standing awkwardly in front of the sorcerer. For his part he'd stood as she came over, and now they just stood there, staring at each other. She should have listened to him yesterday when he wanted to talk about Miranda in private. She wasn't going to make that particular mistake again if she could help it. Especially not with Amalthea sitting over there just dying to figure her out. Cedric could let something slip that would be just enough for that witch to align all the pieces.
"Can we go to your tower to talk Mr. Cedric?" He nodded, but didn't speak.
POOF
Green smoke enveloped them, and they were standing in his tower together.
A deep breath, and the apologies began to stream forth. "Mr. Cedric I'm so sorry I didn't stay put, but I was so worried that you were upset and it would affect your meeting and Dad would be disappointed or mean and I just couldn't do that to you."
He said nothing, just listed back and forth with his gaze transfixed on her face.
"And you just have to know I wasn't trying to hurt myself, really!"
Still nothing was said by the man, but his eyes closed as he rocked softly where he stood. "Mr. Cedric? Please believe me, I really AM sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you, but I saw an owl, HIS owl. I know I did!"
His fingers at his sides started twitching. She had no idea if he was enraged or concerned, just a blank slate rocking ever so slowly back and forth in his tower.
It was Wormwood who broke the awkward silence. He landed on Cedric's shoulder and clawed a bit at his robe. "I do believe you've finally broken him Princess. See look." Wormwood flapped a wing full of feathers in his face, breaking the trance Cedric had been wearing since they'd locked eyes while she dangled from the balcony.
His lips curled down and he collapsed to his knees, reaching around her skirt about the thighs and started convulsing strangely. Was he… crying?
"Mr. Cedric please don't be sad! I'm okay!"
"NO! No you're not okay! I said such terrible things to you, I thought such awful things, it was my fault you were hanging off that ledge, wasn't it?! I drove you too it, didn't I? I'm no hero, I'm the worst, the worst of the worst! I shouldn't be allowed to breathe any longer. Rolland should have snuffed me out, I deserved it after all those accusations."
"No, NO of course you don't deserve it, and what you said, while it wasn't particularly nice, it didn't make me want to jump off a building. I just wanted to make you feel better, not worse. It really wasn't romantic Mr. Cedric, I swear it."
The man started rubbing his face into her dress, "I almost lost you, again, oh Merlin why is it I can't even feel pain anymore. Every single time I leave you alone disaster strikes."
She felt her knees get weak, and she collapsed down into him. It was kind of comical, knocking him onto the floor backward complete with knees poking all the wrong places and a serious thud when his back hit the ground, but as they laid there on the cold stone ground she held him tightly about the head and he kept his hold around her thighs. Several minutes of this awkward hugging helped to steady his nerves. All she seemed to want was to hug him, to console his troubled soul. "I know this is embarrassing and a little strange but it makes me feel better. Does it make you feel better too Mr. Cedric?"
There was a long pause, but then a quiet, "yes" squeaked out of him.
He'd been shifting around a little on the stone floor. Being a bit padded it wasn't bothersome for Sofia, but a bony guy like him didn't have any extra insulation to soften lying on the floor like this. Still, she didn't want it to end. "So, just let me hug you for a while longer, okay? I know it's a little uncomfortable, but I just need a little more. Please."
"Merlin's Mushrooms" crept out of the upset man.
"Please Mr. Cedric."
He gulped strangely."Alright, I'll acquiesce to laying here on this cold damp floor for the rest of eternity, If and ONLY if you promise not to dangle off any more balconies."
"Deal."
His robe was soft, and he seemed to have calmed down. She shifted around and nuzzled her face into it a bit more, just underneath his arm. He had to let go of her legs to let her do it, and as he did so his appendages flopped to the stone floor.
"Can this be my spot?"
"Whaaa?" He suddenly shot up and pushed her to arms length, which resulted in them sitting opposite each other upon the stone floor of his workshop. "Sofia stop."
"What?"
"This. This whole touch-thing you've developed. Not that I mind, so much as I'm worried about you. Every time you do it and I react with what I think is a concomitant response you go strange on me, and I'm not experienced enough to know how to cope with it."
"Oh. I'm making you uncomfortable, aren't I?"
"Did it really take you all this while to figure that out silly girl?" His words stung a bit, but then he backpedaled, "In all honesty I just want you to get better. Then we can figure out the rest, alright?"
She nodded, "Okay, but I AM better now. The Amulet summoned Aunt Tilly to help me cope with what was bothering me, so I'm okay now."
"Do you mean to tell me your Amulet knew you were in danger and summoned Dutchess Matilda, of all people, to your aide?"
"Uh-huh. Why? What have you got against Aunt Tilly?"
"Nothing in particular, she was benevolently nice to me in my youth, but still she's not the most grounded person to be giving advice when one is dangling off a precipice. She might just be inclined to tell you to jump."
"Yeah, I could see Aunt Tilly saying 'jump'. I guess she did in a way, in that she wanted me to confront what happened so I could overcome it."
"Oh. I suppose that is good advice. You know you could have just spoken to me about it, instead of being rather vague about it all. I swear dearest, all the secrets you keep will be my undoing."
"Oh Mr. Cedric, don't say that. This is the truth. Aunt Tilly came to help me out of the prison in my mind."
He eyed her suspiciously, "You do mean that, in truth that IS what happened back then? You're not just telling another fib to placate me? Then as soon as I drop my guard I'll find you running down the halls screaming like a banshee again."
She giggled a bit, and it relaxed him, "Yes Mr. Cedric it's the truth, and no, I'm not going to run screaming through the castle."
She looked down at the purple jewel. "All I need is courage to face my fears, and to realize that even though bad things happen… I should…"
"Yes?" He'd leaned in to where she was sitting on the floor but Sofia was eyeing the Amulet with renewed interest.
"I need courage, cleverness, and the resolve to do what's right."
"I suppose one could say that those are the ingredients in a recipe to defeat one's inner demons, though you know I'm not the best at slaying the devil within."
She looked up and stared at him blankly. That sounded an awful lot like what he'd said when her room had been torn apart.
'The devils are in the walls'
She tried to shake the unsettling feeling that he was hiding just as many secrets as she was, and tried to mask her suspicions with a smile. For his part the sorcerer sprawled on the ground looked sincere in his concern, and there were no stray glances down to her amulet any longer. She'd set him on the path of good once more.
HE wasn't the one who should use the Amulet to end the wars and stop this chaos, he'd be corrupted easily from this place of goodness it had taken so long to bring him to, and using the Amulet would destroy him from within.
But maybe SHE could do it.
With enough practice, and more learning… like the spells in that spell book she'd given Cedric several days ago. He'd said on the coach ride back from Friezenburg that he'd memorized the book and now knew everything he needed to know about how to fully utilize the Amulet. That spell book was her key to ending this war, along with the power of the Amulet.
Was this what Aunt Tilly had really meant?