Chapter 5: Reality

"Father? What's going on?"

"Who is this?"

I heard the voices but I didn't raise my head. I was beyond caring.

"This girl is very distressed," Iozen started, "And I believe she may need some time to rest."

The two unfamiliar voices murmured their assent, and after a long moment the door slid closed in a much softer manner than when it had opened.

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No one else was in the room, but I could hear them speaking in low voices just outside of it. I wasn't sure if they were under the impression I wouldn't hear them, or if they thought I was too out of sorts to understand them. But the words being spoken gave me something to cling to, something to focus on besides my own thoughts.

Iozen's voice spoke in a low whisper, "I don't know much about her….she gave me her name, but nothing she spoke of made sense to me."

Another voice responded, and it was much like the first, but had a slightly higher pitch and sounded very intrigued. "What did she say? What's her name? Where did you find her?"

"She said her name is Miyazaki Yuki. I didn't find her far from here….she was having a panic attack of sorts. Some of the people from town had seen her running off and expressed their concerns…." He trailed off, as though lost in thought.

The last voice spoke, and it sounded very different from the first two. It was deep, though not as much as Iozen's, and it didn't reverberate the same way. "Was she running from someone?"

Iozen's spoke once more. "I believe….she might have been running from everyone."

"What?" The higher voice, again. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, Jiromaru, that she hasn't seen other beasts before."

I fought to keep my response to the statement from exploding out of me, inhaling sharply instead.

The higher voice, Jiromaru, continued after a long silence. "She's….how is that possible?"

Iozen let out an almost inaudible sigh. "If I were to guess….I'd say somehow she was raised in the human world, without any other beasts around. I'd say a human raised her."

Jiromaru, unabated, kept the conversation going. "A human raised her…? Did she tell you that?"

Iozen gave a slight shake of his head, known only because of the thick fur brushing against the door. "No, but I think that has to be the case. She seems to believe she's human."

There was another sharp intake of breath after that, but it wasn't from me. It was from the third person, who had hardly spoken.

I could feel the tension grow even from where I sat, but my tears had run dry. Carefully, I rose from the bed and made my way to the sliding door.

Once there, I paused just behind it.

I wasn't sure if I wanted to face the….beasts on the other side of the door. There was a part of me that was letting reality sink in, like a rock sliding into my stomach. But if I opened that door, I knew it would settle there and I'd have to come to terms with what I'd learned today.

Outside, it was easier to hear as Iozen shifted to face one of them, the last boy, she suspected. "Ichirohiko….maybe you'd like to speak with her?"

The silence that prevailed after was enough of an answer.

Jiromaru spoke again. "So what should we do?"

"I don't know. Normally I would let the Lord handle this, but as he is currently away…" Iozen trailed off, but the voice of who must be Ichirohiko spoke up, though perhaps a bit quietly.

"It would be best to have Kyuta speak to her." I wasn't sure if he was trying to keep his voice down for my sake, or if maybe he was soft spoken in general. There was a contemplative silence after his suggestion, and I frowned as I waited for their response.

Who is this Lord? Who is Kyuta? My eyes scanned the room behind me and landed on a large window. I could leave. Jump out and run away. But how would I get home? How would I find out what's going on?

I took a deep breath and held it for a moment as I realized I didn't feel nearly as panicked as before. Doing my best to keep hold of the purpose that brought on that calm, learning what's happening, I carefully changed back until my wolf ears were all that remained. I'd be more comfortable if I looked normal, but if Iozen's reaction to the lack of ears before was any indicator, it was probably best to stay this way.

Iozen nodded, and his shadow moved along with it. "He might be able to help her. But he's in the human world, and we don't know when he'll be back again."

I slid the door open, and three faces turned to look at me. Iozen stood closest to the door, and had to turn completely around. The three men stood in a triangle of sorts, with Iozen being the central point.

To his left, before he had turned, was another young man with the features of a boar. He had one long patch of hair that curved across most of his brow, and two tusks that were a bit shorter than Iozen's. He had two animal ears that were covered by fur the same shade as the hair on his head, brown where Iozen's was golden. A pig's snout was just under his eyes, and those eyes were wide with curiosity.

To his right the final young man stood, and he was different in appearance completely from the other two. This boy had blue eyes and black hair that seemed faded in a way that it could almost pass as a gray or blue. He locked eyes with mine for a brief moment, and there was some emotion there, though it was hard to tell if it was sympathy or pity. But it wasn't this look that really struck me. It was that he looked completely human.

His eyes flickered up to my ears, and feeling I should have changed them back after all, I almost stepped back into the room.

Almost.

Instead, I broke my gaze at their surprised faces, and as they didn't seem eager to speak first, I would. I turned to Iozen, as he was clearly the oldest. I bowed deeply at the waist, my hair, a slightly different shade than I was used to seeing-as a result of it matching my ears-fell over my shoulders, obstructing them from my view. "I'm….I'm very sorry for how I've acted so far. I've had a very surprising day. Please forgive me."

When several beats went by with nothing but breathing to break the silence, I rose and lifted my eyes to Iozen's. He seemed to be unable to comprehend that the sobbing mess in the bedroom and the me before him now were the same person. But I couldn't blame him for that, because I almost couldn't either. "...You have nothing to apologize for. It's obvious that you have had a lot happen."

I was surprised by the statement, but I gave a small dip of my head in acknowledgement. "Thank you." I paused briefly before continuing, "I'm feeling a bit more calm….but I'm still….confused."

Iozen nodded deliberately. "I will help the best I can." He turned to the other boy with boar like features, who, I realized, was still staring at me with I assumed was shock. "Jiromaru, will you ask your mother to brew some tea? We'll sit and speak at the table."

Jiromaru shook his head quickly as if to recover himself. "Of course!" He glanced at me and smiled. "I'll be right back."

He was down the hall almost faster than my eyes could handle.

I smiled slightly at his behavior, and Iozen gestured down the same hall. "Come, the table is this way." The older man guided me with a hand on my shoulder, and I found that despite the circumstances my panic was truly gone.

Instead, where the imaginary rock had once been, a mixture of curiosity and nervousness were fighting with each other, causing me to feel a little nauseous. It didn't help that the boy who seemed human-who I knew now must be Ichirohiko-was walking closely behind us. He hadn't spoken a word to me, but I could feel his gaze, and the thought that another human had seen me like this was doing some terrible things to the internal battle.

When we reached the halfway mark of the hall there were two sliding doors on opposite sides of the hallway. On one side, the door was closed, but the one that was left open led outside. Iozen stepped away and to the closed door to open it, and as he did, I stepped to the opening and peered out.

Instead of exiting into a street, I was greeted to the view of a wide courtyard. The wooden floor of the hall continued out about a foot, creating a small porch-like area with the edge of the roof acting as an awning. The area was enclosed in a wide square, and there was an entrance to the courtyard only at where I stood and the wall across from me. It was also opened.

Equipment of some sort was lined up against one of the doorless sides. It was old and worn, and definitely nothing people of this time period should be using, but it seemed from the lack of dust and dirt that either it was still in use, or they took a lot of pride in keeping it in top shape.

I didn't realize that the young man next to me had appeared there until he spoke. "Father uses this area as a training grounds."

I pretended that I didn't jump in surprise and turned my head to face Ichirohiko. "A training ground...?"

He nodded, and his face expressed that he was very fond of the fact. "He is very strong, and he trains every beast he takes on to be honorable fighters."

I realized maybe this place was not just a home, but a dojo of sorts. "Does your father work with…?" I glanced back toward Iozen. I was a little uncomfortable calling the...man...I'd just met by name, and at this point I wasn't even sure what honorific to address him with. Is he really a teacher?

It was when my eyes met Iozen's that I realized he was already finished preparing the other room and was instead watching our exchange. I could feel my face heating up in embarrassment from not paying closer attention. Iozen smiled kindly despite my discomfort and approached, stopping to put a hand on the shoulder of the dark haired boy. "Ichirohiko is my son."

I tried, with difficulty, to hide my surprise. "Oh, I see. I'm sorry, I didn't realize…." From the look on Ichirohiko's face, I didn't hide it very well. I struggled for a moment to find a way to apologize without offending him more, and when none came, I changed the subject, averting my eyes from the mix of emotions on Ichirohiko's face and instead looking to Iozen. "...So you teach here? Fighting?"

Iozen looked simultaneously upset and relieved about the subject change. It seemed it was a sensitive subject. "Yes. We help the lord of this land to uphold the peace, and to promote teachings of fighting for peace."

I opened my mouth to comment, but the noise that escaped wasn't a word as I was cut off by a voice from behind me. "Father is one of the best there is! Though Ichirohiko and Kyuta are really great too." Jiromaru came bounding down the hallway, and despite hearing his approach, the noise still manage to startle me. It was a little harder to hide that I jumped when I was surrounded, and from the amusement in the eyes of the two in front of me, I wondered if they'd noticed when I jumped the first time.

Jiromaru came around to stand off to the side, halfway between his family and me. I decided it was no use trying to pretend he hadn't scared me, and I let out a laugh that was somewhere between sheepish and nervous. "That's the second one of your sons that has startled me today."

This time, it was Jiromaru that was embarrassed. "I'm sorry, I've been told I can get over excited."

I gave a slight shake of my head. "No, no, it's alright. You didn't do anything wrong. I'm just….easily alarmed today." That only seemed to make the young man's face seem more apologetic, and I attempted to give him a reassuring look.

Iozen spoke again. "Jiromaru, is the tea ready?"

The boy nodded. "Mom's bringing it right now."

Ichirohiko turned to the door Iozen had opened before. "Then perhaps we should go sit down."

After glancing around to see that the others were also heading into the room, I followed behind them all.

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To my surprise, the large room we entered was nearly empty. A few decorations were scattered around, with the most prominent being a vase of flowers on a slightly raised platform. Close to that was a low table that ran long enough to host an entire classroom if need be, and while the table was a plain, dark colored wood, the floor beneath it was a light cream color. As I spotted the panelled floor I realized that unlike the wooden floors of the rest of the house so far, this room instead had tatami mats.

On the other side of the room an opening led to what was obviously an entryway, and I guessed that this was the central part of the house.

Iozen's children sat at the long table, at about the midway mark, diagonal from each other. Iozen himself, who had been the closest to me, sat beside Ichirohiko. With the ease in which their seats were chosen, it was easy to conclude this was how they always sat.

I only took a moment before folding myself onto the spot besides Jiromaru, completing the square.

Right after doing so, the soft clink of porcelain sounded near the door, and we all turned as a woman carried a tray to the table. The tray was long and oval shaped, and a teapot sat on one end with the necessary dishes. On the end closest to the woman, however, was a large stack of something wrapped and bound in white cloth. This was obviously making it very difficult for her to see, as she nearly tripped over one of the large cushions at the edge of the table. The contents of her tray tilted precariously, and, being the closest to her, I rose and rushed to her. "Here, let me help you."

I relieved her of the tray carefully, and I heard a voice say, "Oh, thank you." But though the bundles were no longer in front of her face, they were in front of mine.

As if sensing the dilemma, the tray got lighter as everything but the tea was removed from the tray. Now able to see in front of me, I placed the tray in the center of the table, wanting to set it down before I dropped it on accident.

Afterward the woman, who was turned away from me, set the wrapped bundles on either side of the tray. When she was satisfied with their placement, she turned to face me. "I'm sorry for making a guest work like that!" The woman was also some sort of boar, though she had extremely small tusks in comparison to the two males. Her eyes and hair were brown, the same shade as Jiromaru's, and she wore a light blue kimono that was wrapped just under her collarbone. Above that she wore a beige shawl that fit over her kimono and left plenty of room to move in. "It's nice to meet you. My name is Inori."

I introduced myself again. "Miyazaki Yuki." And as she had pointed out that I was a guest, I felt inclined to add, "Please take care of me."

The older woman looked both honored and amused as she took in the response. "Well aren't you a polite one. Please, sit. I've heard you had quite the experience."

I nodded in return and placed myself back in the spot I'd chosen. The three men in the room had been quiet the entire time, and while Iozen and Ichirohiko had clearly watched the exchange, Jiromaru had unwrapped the white cloth closest to him to reveal the contents were in fact an assortment of sweets.

Inori took a moment before walking to the other side of the table and taking a seat beside her husband. With the expression she was making, it seemed she wasn't used to sitting there.

It only took a moment to register that she wasn't in a seat she was used to because I was in her spot. "Ah, I'm sorry, would you like me to move?"

She waved her hand to show that I shouldn't worry about it. "Don't worry, you're fine where you're at." She turned the teapot slightly to reach it from her new seat before moving to pour tea for everyone. As she did so, she spoke again. "So, would you like to tell us what happened to you?"

I stayed silent for a period of time, but in the end, I decided that if I wanted to get answers, I was probably going to have to give some first. "I've never met so many people like this before...it was just startling."

Jiromaru swallowed what he'd just started eating and turned his head to face me. "So you really did grow up with humans? No one figured out that you were a beast?"

My hands gripped the warm cup of tea a little tighter. "That's….I'm not…" I paused and sighed in defeat. "No one outside of my hometown knows about this...besides you all, now. I prefer to look perfectly normal."

When Jiromaru gave me a confused look, it dawned on me that to them, this was normal. But now that I'd seen that they definitely didn't hate humans-as Ichirohiko seemed very human-and they'd clearly adopted him into their family, I felt it was alright to change to how I felt normal.

I kept my gaze on the reflection through the tea I held as the fur covered ears vanished, and I looked up again only when the gasps of surprise reached me.

They were all staring with wide eyes, and I shifted uncomfortably. Maybe this wasn't such a good decision… Iozen was the first to recover from his shock-likely because he'd seen me without the ears once before-and managed to speak. "I've never seen a beast that could change their features like that…."

"That's because I'm not a beast." The words came out in a sharper tone than I had intended, and I took a moment to assure myself I wouldn't raise my voice again before proceeding. "I was born with the ability to change, fully, into a wolf. My father was the same way….but my father thought he was the last of his kind. I thought we…" I gave my head a slight shake. "But I haven't turned into a wolf in years, and I don't want to." Right? "Everyone I-Almost everyone I care about is human. So human is what I want to be."

It was difficult to admit to the people around me. The people that were a lot like me, but so different at the same time. They were the only people besides my mother and two friends that had heard exactly what I thought, but at the same time, they were likely some of the only ones that wouldn't understand.

To my surprise, however, the silence that followed wasn't filled with the horrified shock I'd come to expect. My gaze had landed on the three boar-like people, but while Jiromaru did look surprised, the look he was giving the table may have been sadness or disappointment. His parents, on the other hand, looked to be in deep contemplation.

I was so busy looking at these animal-like people that I didn't even consider the human...until the table seemed to start vibrating.

My attention shifted to the table in front of Ichirohiko and noticed that his pale hands were shaking, and I realized that I was going to get the horrified reaction out of the one person I didn't expect.

However, when my eyes lifted to look at his face, his icy eyes were burning with what could only be anger.

"How stupid."

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A/N So Happy Early New Years, guys. Here is a much longer chapter, so I hope it cheers everyone up! I apologize if the style of the writing is a little odd compared to normal. I may have mentioned before that I don't typically write in first person, and I'm finding it's very difficult now that I have several character's for Yuki to interact with.

Anyway, hope you guys have had great holidays!