Hey everybody. Sorry for the delay, but school's intense. I can't really focus on studying right now so I'm gonna just gonna write!
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The first thing Beck saw when he got back to his apartment was the time, glowing bright, green, and overwhelming from his cable box in the living room. 5:38 AM. The next thing he noticed was an overwhelming clean scent, a combination of disinfectant and air freshener. His kitchen and living room were clean, and he noticed the food container that had fallen to the floor earlier sticking out of the trashcan. The last and most startling thing he noticed, however, was the sleeping figure on his couch. It was Jade.
Beck quietly went to one of his kitchen cabinets, searching for the bottle of Tylenol he kept there. Finding it, he popped two and filled a glass of water at the sink. His head was not only killing him, but his body was stiff from the few precious hours of sleep he had gotten in his car. After he watched Tori pull away in the cab, all Beck wanted was to go to sleep and try and clear his head for the night. He knew he was beyond making sense of it with a drunk mind. But as he walked back to his car, he discovered he was also beyond his ability to drive. So he settled in and slept it off as best he could until he couldn't take the cramped space anymore. As he drove home, he saw the smallest inklings of sunrise in the sky.
Honestly, he could still feel the liquor in his blood. But he had managed to shake the feeling of Tori's touch, her fingers in his hair and her hips pressed against his. Every time he had closed his eyes to try and sober himself, he saw himself with her, different scenarios playing themselves out. He had enjoyed the evening with her, a lot more than he thought he would have, but he also felt somehow he had done something wrong. They'd barely touched, but he could still feel her pulse throbbing against his mouth, fast and hot. He loved the fact that he made her heart beat so fast, even though the thought also made him feel guilty.
He made his way over to the couch and squatted down next to Jade so that he could look at her sleeping face. She didn't stir, her breathing even and deep. He very rarely got to see her like this. He almost forgot their argument looking at her face, which was free of scowl or annoyance. She almost never was without that, but Beck knew it was just a defense mechanism. Jade had her own weird ways of showing it, but she could be very kind sometimes. His clean apartment was proof of that, a peace offering of sorts. She had waited for him to come home. This knowledge only added to that edge of guilt he felt for being so close to another girl that night.
Beck had been close to a lot of girls since he had been old enough to notice the opposite sex. Jade wasn't his first, and he had been in many intimate moments with co-workers and friends over the years, acting or not. He remembered what had first compelled him to want to get to know Jade and date her; she wasn't afraid of him. It wasn't about pure sexual attraction or her trying to latch on to his rising fame. She was defiant and hard working, passionate and slightly crazy. She was different and he loved that about her. He still did, but somehow, this night that he had just spent with a total stranger was a kind of crack his world. Because that stranger wasn't a stranger anymore. He was honestly grateful that Tori had run out and broken the bubble they had managed to form around themselves. He didn't know what would have happened if she didn't.
A combination of a need for distance and his own guilty thoughts made Beck refrain from waking Jade up. He kissed her lips lightly, breathing her in as he did. She smelled like apples and spice, which was so fitting for her. Beck knew in the morning he would hold his girlfriend close, kiss her, possibly have sex with her. He knew he would tell her he loved her, and then he'd tell her he was sorry, meaning every word he said. And Beck knew that she would think he was referring to their fight, and that he wouldn't correct her.
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Tori felt like she had been run over by a truck. Luckily, Trina had a lot of experience with hangovers and was taking care of her. Her big sister had fallen asleep in bed with her, but when Tori had woken up, she wasn't there anymore. It was already twelve o'clock in the afternoon, but the bright light of the sun was enough to keep her under the covers, only leaving the bed to throw up in the bathroom. Trina had found her hugging the toilet after the third time, but instead of the incessant nagging her sister was famous for, all Tori heard was a soothing shushing sound as her big sister pulled her hair back from her face.
"What did you drink?" Trina asked. No probing. No prying. Just a general concern that Tori very rarely saw from her. She didn't choose to question her motives.
"Tequila."
"Ah," Trina said, still smoothing her hair as she reached out and turned the water on in the shower. "Okay. Take a shower. I'll bring you in some clothes." And then she left without another word. Tori started to protest, but feeling the steam from the hot water, she decided against it. Stripping down and stepping into the stream of water, Tori immediately felt her muscles relax at the heated water's onslaught. She washed her hair and just stood, enjoying the heat on her body. It was so different from the heat of the night before, but this heat was much less dangerous.
Tori washed her legs, slowly running her hands against her inner thighs, remembering the feel of Beck's closeness. The effect he had on her, and how she had run from it, the reaction too real for her to handle. She remembered the moistness between her legs, staining her panties with proof of his charms. She'd never tell anyone, she thought, her face flaming up as she shook the thoughts from her head.
Pulling her hair away from her neck, Tori rinsed the suds from her hair. Trina knocked gently, coming in with Tori's permission.
"How are you feeling?" she asked, voice soft. Tori almost forgot that her sister had been very drunk last night as well, and probably felt no better than she did. She was even more grateful now for her help.
"I feel a little better," Tori said, rinsing herself clean and turning off the water. "Can you hand me a towel?" Trina's hand appeared inside the shower curtain, gripping Tori's favorite pink towel. Her sister's consideration made Tori's eyes soften, and she was grateful that Trina couldn't see her.
"We need to put some coffee and something greasy in our stomachs," Trina said. "And wherever your car is, we need to go get it. Please don't tell me you forgot to lock the door. Mom will kill you, and me, if your car gets stolen."
"I don't think so," Tori said, pushing back the shower curtain, towel wrapped tightly around her. Her sister was leaning against the sink, the fluorescent glow of the bathroom light shining down on her. Only under these conditions did she notice the bags under her eyes and her tired expression.
"Are you okay?" Tori asked, wondering vaguely how the night had been for her. She had found her sister outside of a club, leaning against a brick wall and smoking a cigarette. When she had showed up in a cab, Trina didn't seem to notice at first. She was just so happy to see her little sister, coming to her rescue once again. In fact, Trina hadn't said anything about it until they were halfway home, making the astute observation that they were indeed in a cab. Instead of asking a thousand questions, Trina was more impressed by the fact that Tori had actually gotten drunk enough to not drive, both sisters realizing it had been a while since the younger one had cut loose.
"Whoever got you to drink tonight, I need to shake their hand," a drunken Trina had said as they pulled up to their apartment. As Tori paid the cab driver, she knew that Trina would have loved to do that and more with the boy she had been drinking with. Any girl would.
"Come on," Trina said, rousing Tori from her thoughts. "Let's get you dressed." Tori followed her sister back to her room, choosing to wear a pair of yoga pants and an old T-shirt, enjoying its softness. She glanced quickly in the mirror as both sisters headed out the door, and was relieved to find that she didn't look sickly or pale. She felt like she still possessed some of the glow she had felt the night before, but quickly dismissed the thoughts again. She got into the passenger's seat of her sister's car and fastened her seat belt as Trina turned to her.
"So, where's your car again?"
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The ride had been uneventful, Tori leaning her head against the car door and enjoying the coolness of the window against her forehead. Trina handed her a coffee and a breakfast sandwich from some drive-thru, the bag covered in grease. Tori felt like she had never eaten anything better, even as she used five napkins to wipe her hands. Finally, she couldn't help but ask the question that had been burning on her mind for the past hour.
"Why are you being so nice?" She saw Trina's cool façade falter a little.
"You're my sister," she said, blowing her bangs out of her eyes. Tori just looked at her, observing her older sister as she drove. Her words were sincere, but she knew that Trina would find a way to make the moment less intimate. She didn't disappoint.
"And, who else would pick me up tonight except you?" Trina shot Tori a side-glance, a slight smirk on her lips. Tori laughed, knowing that this statement was also true.
"What were you doing out here anyway?" Trina asked, pulling up beside her sister's car. Tori was relieved that it was exactly as she had left it the night before. She opened her mouth to say an excuse, but quickly shut it again. She had lied to all her friends the previous night, and figured she could be honest with Trina. At least a little.
"I went out with a friend."
"A boyfriend?"
"A male friend," Tori corrected her, avoiding her sister's probing eyes as she got out of the car.
"Will I ever get to meet him?"
"Who knows," Tori said, adjusting the purse strap on her shoulder. "It wasn't a big deal."
"Okay," Trina said, her tone indicating she didn't believe her. As Tori went to shut the door, Trina stopped her.
"Tori, I really am sorry about the other night, okay?" Tori looked at her sister's face, tired from endless nights of partying. A pang of pity hit her, but she smiled through it.
"Okay," Tori said, reaching forward and placing a quick peck on her sister's cheek. Trina smiled and drove away, leaving Tori to her own thoughts.
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"Cat?" Tori called as she entered her friend's apartment, pulling the spare key from the lock and slipping it back onto her keychain.
"Robbie?!" she heard Cat squeak from her bedroom.
"No, it's Tori," Tori said, wandering back to her friend's bedroom. She saw Cat, frozen over a pile of white powder, card in hand. She was breaking out lines. Upon seeing her friend, Cat visibly relaxed and went back to what she was doing.
"You scared me," Cat said, meticulous as she broke down the white powder, making it finer. "You should call first."
"I never call first, Cat," Tori said, approaching her friend's side. "That's why you gave me the spare key, remember?"
"Oh yeah," her friend said, smiling at this little reminder. She rolled up a dollar bill and snorted up a line, leaning her head back. As she tilted her head to do another one, Tori noticed that like her, Cat was also freshly showered and looked like she was recovering from her own hangover. Remembering Cat's spiked tea, Tori giggled a little.
"What's so funny?" Cat asked, snorting another line.
"Nothing," Tori said, brushing it off. "Cat, why are you doing lines by yourself?"
"I'm hungover," Cat said, using her whiny voice that was usually reserved for Robbie. "And I'm not alone. Now, anyway." She handed Tori the rolled up bill and, to her friend's surprised, Tori didn't hesitate as she sniffed her own line, and then another. Tori tilted her head back, feeling the drip in her throat that never tasted good. But right now it did. She enjoyed the drip and the head rush, the numb feeling in her nose and in the back of her throat. It took her further from where she had been the night before, and she wanted that more than anything at the moment.
"I missed this," Tori croaked as she handed Cat the bill, her friend not taking notice of Tori's eagerness. The two friends finished off the small pile, and by the end, Tori couldn't feel her face. They walked outside, lighting up cigarettes as they enjoyed the sunshine on their skin. That same sunlight was Tori's enemy only hours earlier.
"Why the cocaine?" Tori asked, remembering Cat hadn't mentioned getting any recently. Cat always told Tori about the drugs she was doing. With the exception of the last time, she had settled down a lot since she and Robbie had bought their apartment. Cat shrugged at her question.
"I just really wanted some this morning. I needed to wake up. I felt like I was dying."
"Are you hiding it from Robbie again?" Tori asked, hoping her tone didn't sound too accusatory. Cat shook her head, exhaling smoke from her mouth.
"No, I told him. I just needed it for the hangover," Cat said. Tori wasn't sure if that was the only reason, but was just happy that she hadn't hid it. "He did some with me this morning after Sinjin dropped it off."
"Sinjin?" Tori asked, surprised. She placed the name to one of Robbie's friends who was at HA for computer graphics. She had barely talked to him over the years, but he was always nice, if not a little weird.
"Yeah, someone on his floor at the dorms has connections, I guess," Cat said, flicking her cigarette butt onto the sidewalk. "Robbie's probably gonna have really bad anxiety today, but I figure if we have sex, I can get him to relax. We can just do it twice if the first time doesn't work." Tori raised her eyebrow. She was honestly used to Cat saying whatever was on her mind, but sometimes the little redhead still surprised her. Observing her, Tori knew Cat had no idea she had crossed the too much information line. She never did, and that was one of the things she loved about her.
"You really love him, don't you?" Tori asked, her curiosity and admiration of Cat's relationship trumping her desire to keep conversation light. Cat's eyes sparkled, a slight smile coming to her face.
"Yeah, I do," she said, twirling slightly, the wind catching the dress she wore and making it billow slightly, the sun glowing behind her. She looked like an angel.
"That must be awesome, Cat," Tori said, following her friend back inside and into the kitchen. The cocaine was making her chatty. "What's it feel like?"
"Don't you remember?" Cat asked, pouring both her and Tori a drink. Tori was relieved to find the drink to be plain juice.
"I've never known," Tori admitted, sitting down at her friend's table. Cat's eyes were wide.
"You didn't love Rider?"
"No," Tori admitted, happy to find that she was no longer upset by this fact. Cat seemed to read her mind.
"That doesn't bother you?" Cat asked.
"Not anymore. It used to. I guess I was expecting something different."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I guess I expected it to be… some kind of magic? Like the earth shifted under my feet or something. It wasn't anything like that." And that's why we never had sex, Tori thought to herself.
"You've never felt that with anybody?" Cat asked, and Tori had a sudden flash of the night before, Beck's lips against her neck and the heat waves that dominated the air as they carried on a conversation. She felt a shudder, but shook it off.
"What's wrong?" Cat asked, noticing the flash in her friend's eyes.
"Nothing," Tori lied. "I'm just cold, I guess." Cat jumped up.
"I'll get you a hoodie. Oh! And you have to see this new skirt I got," she said, running back to her bedroom before Tori could stop her. Smiling, Tori rose and followed her, grateful for her friend's short attention span.
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The rest of the weekend passed by uneventfully, Tori fulfilling her usual duties as Trina's knight in shining armor and spending the remaining time with Cat, working on their projects and just sitting around doing nothing. Monday came quick enough, and she arrived at school early, hoping to grab some tea from the cafeteria before her Vocals class. As she sipped her drink, Tori found Cat and Robbie there as well, holding hands as they discussed the breakfast options of the cafeteria. They eventually decided on nothing. As they entered the courtyard Tori found Andre, sitting on a bench with a scowl on his face.
"What's up?" Tori asked as she approached him. "We haven't seen you since game night. Where have you been?" He flashed her a warm smile, clearly pleasantly surprised to see her there. He opened his mouth with an explanation, but then closed it quickly as he glanced over Tori's shoulder. His expression took on a mixture of annoyance and exhaustion.
"I had to meet up with my partner to discuss our project," Andre mumbled, raising his finger slightly as an indication that his friends should turn around. Tori turned to see Beck and Jade walking towards them. He had his hand on her lower back, his expression impassive. Jade wore a smug smile on her face, a confidence exuding from her. As Beck looked up, his eyes locked with her instantly. Tori felt that charge in the air again, the feeling so alarming that her tea slipped from her hands. The cup collided with the ground, lid popping off and splashing tea all over her and Andre's shoes.
"God dammit, Tori!" he exclaimed, jumping up and away from the spill. "That shit is hot."
"I'm sorry," Tori exclaimed, bending down and picking up the cup. As she attempted to wipe the excess liquid off her shoes, a napkin appeared in front of her face. She looked up into Beck's eyes once again. She hadn't even noticed that he had squatted next to her.
"Do you need this?" he asked. Tori quickly took the napkin from his hand, making every effort to not touch any part of his skin.
"Thank you," Tori said. Suddenly, Beck was yanked up by his arm. Jade was suddenly at his side. Jade stepped into the puddle of tea a little too hard, causing a small amount to fly up and splash Tori in the face.
"She can do that herself, Beck," Jade said, looking down on Tori as if she were looking down at a bug.
"Oh, I'm sorry," Jade said as she noticed Tori wiping the tea off her face. "Did I do that?"
"Of course you did," Andre interjected, the annoyance in his voice clear. "Why the hell would you do that?"
"It was an accident," Jade said, though her tone would have indicated otherwise. She offered her hand to Tori to help her up, and reluctantly, Tori took it. Her grip was ice cold and a little too tight as it helped her to her feet. "Tori, right? I haven't seen you in a while. How are you?"
"I'm fine, thanks for asking," Tori said, pulling her hand from Jade's and massaging it slightly. She didn't look Beck's way again.
"I'm glad," Jade said, turning on her heel. "We all better go if we don't want to be late for vocals. Hopefully your voice is better than your ability to hold a cup steady." With that she walked away. Beck stood awkwardly.
"I'm sorry about that," he said to Tori, but Tori turned her attention to Andre and changed the subject.
"I'm sorry about your shoes," she said to her friend.
"It's okay," Andre said, ruffling her hair and causing her to giggle. "But she is right, we should head to class now."
"Let's race!" Cat exclaimed, shaking out her arms as if she was a sprinter in training.
"Cat," Robbie said, rolling his eyes. "I don't think anyone here wants to-"
"That's a great idea!" Tori exclaimed, surprising everybody. "I'll do it."
"Tori," Andre said, shooting her a confused look. "You hate running."
"No, I don't," Tori said, brushing off Andre's comment and turning to look at Cat. "You ready?"
"Tori," Robbie said, equally confused. "Is everything alri-"
"READY, SET, GO!" Cat exclaimed, running off. Tori ran after her, leaving all the boys behind. As they approached their vocals class a couple minutes later, Tori was grasping her chest and breathing heavily.
"Yay, I win!" Cat said as she opened the door, plopping happily in her seat. Tori followed her slowly, wiping the sweat that had broken out on her brow. Jade sat on the other side of the classroom, eyeing them as they took their seats.
"You win," Tori conceded, sitting next to her and placing her head on the desk.
"Thanks for racing with me, even though you hate running."
"I don't hate running, Cat."
"Yes, you do," Cat said, and Tori turned to see her friend's stare. She made the statement matter-of-factly. "But thanks anyway. I've never seen you run that fast. What were you running from?"
At that moment, Andre, Robbie, and Beck appeared in the doorway, followed by Sikowitz, who was subbing for their Vocals professor that day. Beck glanced at her, Tori frozen by his eyes. But then Jade was there again, out of her seat and pulling him to the other side of the room.
"Tori?" Cat asked as Robbie sat next to her, searching for something in his backpack. "What were you running from?" Tori allowed her eyes to wander to the other side of the room, but then snapped her head back again to answer Cat's question.
"Nothing."
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Hi everybody. I apologize for being late with an update, but nursing school is insane. I hope you liked the chapter, I should be picking it up with the intimate moments soon. I'm sorry to those of you who are disappointed with the slight lack of it, but I'm trying really hard to develop the story to the best of my ability. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy. PLEASE REVIEW