Tori swished her chai tea around in her mouth, violently swirling until the muscles in her cheeks started to hurt. Swallowing, she kicked a pebble on the ground in agitation. It was like no matter what she did, she couldn't get rid of the taste of strawberries. The taste of Jade…
She took another sip and swirled again, not giving up on her vendetta to get rid of not only the taste of the fruit, but also the taste of the boy she had kissed. Unfortunately, his face was currently dominating her mind.
After Rider had led her away, she had engaged him with one-word answers to his small talk. When he had handed her the tea and turned to get his coffee, she made a run for it, throwing a lame excuse about forgetting a book over her shoulder. Instead of breaking for class, she decided to leave the building altogether, darting out the nearest emergency exit (the alarms never went off anyway). Now, walking down the street with no particular place to go, Tori finally allowed herself to breathe. Whether she liked it or not, she knew she had to deal with what had gone on that day. There was no storing it in the back of her mind for later; she knew that her mental storage had finally reached its capacity.
She was mad at Beck, but she couldn't decide if she was more upset with him or at herself. Holding her hand to her head, she shook it violently, as if hoping the thoughts would fly out of her ear and never come back. She could still feel the pressure of his hips as they pressed against her own. She felt her cheeks flush as she thought back to the imminent erection stirring in his jeans, surprised that she had brought that reaction out in him so quickly.
No, she corrected herself. It wasn't her. It was Jade. He was still high off of his encounter with Jade. He had to be.
She had been repeating this same statement to herself for the past ten minutes, every step on the sidewalk a hopeful wish that it would take her somewhere far away. But her feet weren't fast enough to keep up with her thoughts as they ran a mile a minute, taking her to places she didn't want to go.
How long had it been? Was he just with his girlfriend before he had found her in the library? Or had he waited? When was their class, again? He'd have had to have been with her somewhere in between class and the library, right? Is it possible she had missed the hickey and that it wasn't new? Why did he kiss her again? Was he still drunk? What in God's name was going on?
Tori sipped her tea, trying and failing to put all the questions in order of their relevance. She wanted to go home and change, scrub herself clean and forget the hands that touched her. One minute she would think about how much she never wanted to see him again, the next she had to admit to herself that her mind wandered often to thoughts of doing more than kissing him. She wondered if his hands had left imprints on her cheeks, the way he gripped her so desperately. He had run after her, wanting to explain. But there was nothing to say, not really.
So he had fucked his girlfriend. So what? That was HIS girlfriend. The girlfriend he had been with for two years. The past couple days, no the past couple weeks, did not mean ANYTHING in comparison. She had no right to be jealous or mad. She had no right to be anything. They were partners on a project. Nothing more. She'd probably never see him again after this school year was over. She planned on keeping it that way.
Tori sighed, bringing her cup to her lips, only to discover it was empty. Crushing it in her hand, she threw it in a nearby trashcan, slightly surprised when she actually made the shot. Only then did she allow herself to observe her surroundings, and she found that she had walked a lot farther than she thought she did. Realizing she had to go back to get her car, Tori breathed out a long sigh of frustration. As she turned to begin her trek back to campus, one hopeful thought glimmered in the murky mess that was her mind.
At least the day's half way over.
oooooooooooooooo
Tunez was a little hole in the wall with some of the best vinyl selections around. Beck never saw anyone come into the shop, ever. He often wondered how the shop owners managed to pay their employees, let alone keep the business open. But right now, he had never been more grateful for the dead atmosphere in his life. Stepping through the door, he saw a lone figure sitting behind the counter, strumming a guitar hesitantly and singing a song to himself. Andre.
"What's up man?" Andre asked, not even looking up from the instrument. Beck raised an eyebrow.
"How'd you know it was me?"
"Who else would it be?" Andre asked, rising and placing the guitar gently against the wall and pulling out a small stool for his friend to sit on. Beck sat, leaning back as Andre made his way to the small room in the back marked Employees Only.
"You hungry?" his friend called from behind the door.
"Starving," Beck called back, and as if on cue, his stomach rumbled. He heard Andre chuckling before he emerged, carrying two sodas in one hand and the over-sized lunch box his grandmother was known for using in the other. Andre handed Beck a sandwich, which he accepted gratefully, tearing into it as if afraid someone would take it from him.
"Damn," Andre said, letting out a low whistle of disbelief as he laid the giant bag between them and took out a sandwich for himself. "When was the last time you ate?"
Beck thought for a moment, taking a swig of his soda before starting in on his sandwich again.
"Lunch… yesterday." Andre let out an incredulous laugh, pulling out some chips from the bottomless lunch bag for them to share. Casting a glance at his friend, Andre's playful smile dropped slightly.
"You serious?" he asked as Beck grabbed the bag of chips from him, pulling out a handful and devouring that quickly.
"Yeah… I have never been more grateful for your grandmother and her tendency to over pack in my life." A warm smile graced Andre's lips as he handed his friend another sandwich.
"Yeah, she is pretty great. Fucking insane, but great." Beck just shook his head.
"ALL women are fucking insane."
"Not ALL of them."
"Some of them," Beck rephrased, a slight pout coming to his mouth.
"Is that what brings you to my office, Mr. Oliver?" Andre teased, nudging his friend in the ribs. "Girl problems?"
Beck closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the wall, allowing his stomach to settle as he contemplated what to say to his best friend. What better way to start a lie (sort of) than with the truth?
"I guess you could say that," Beck said, exhaling slowly as he felt the hunger pains in his stomach start to subside.
"Well, judging from the giant hickey on your neck, your problems can't be that bad," Andre said. "At least you're getting laid."
"Getting laid has nothing to do with it," Beck said, trying to hide his annoyance. He didn't even know where to start with what he wanted to say. Andre, sensing his friend really did want to have a serious talk, let up on his teasing.
"You okay man?" he asked, concern evident in his voice. "You're never stressed out like this."
"I didn't say I was stressed out."
"You didn't have to, it's written all over your face," Andre said, picking up his guitar again. "What did Jade do?"
Beck put his head in his hands, ignoring Andre's question and raking his fingers through his hair hastily as he let out a frustrated groan.
"I just don't understand sometimes, I guess," Beck said, peeking through his fingers and focusing on a spot on the old carpeted floor. "I just don't understand why people act the way they do."
"What do you mean?" Andre asked, curiosity in his voice.
"One minute you think you mean something to someone, the next they shut you out. Is it so wrong to want to talk to someone and get to know them?" Andre looked thoughtful as he strummed his guitar.
"How much do you think you know them already?"
"Not as much as I want to," Beck admitted, turning to face his friend. "And that scares the shit out of me." Andre gave him a small smile, patting him on the back reassuringly. Beck continued on his tirade.
"It's just exhausting."
"What is?"
"Thinking about someone all the time."
Andre was quiet for a moment, playing a riff from a song as he thought about what Beck was saying.
"I know what you mean, man," he said, his eyes taking on a distant look of their own. "But at least Jade's yours already. I mean, she can get way out of hand sometimes, but she loves you. You have nothing to worry about." Beck turned toward his friend in confusion.
"What?"
"I just mean, I think you're stressing out for nothing. All couples go through rough patches. At least you have the girl of your dreams. The hard part's over." Beck observed his friend as he played the guitar, each finger hesitant as it played a sad, but beautiful song. He wished he could tell Andre that he wasn't thinking about Jade at all, but he knew that wouldn't go over well. Especially because of a suspicion that Beck had, one that he finally felt he had the courage to ask his friend.
"You like Tori, don't you?"
Andre stopped strumming, but only for a second, and then continued on. He refused to meet Beck's eye.
"Of course, she's one of my best friends."
"You're a terrible liar," Beck told his friend, taking a sip from his drink. "Good thing you didn't double major in acting."
"Asshole," Andre said affectionately. Beck repeated his question.
"So, do you like her?"
Andre continued to play the guitar, the tune becoming more and more soulful as he went. Something clicked in Beck's mind at that moment.
"Did you write that?" Beck asked, and finally, Andre stopped strumming.
"It's a work in progress," he said, turning the guitar on its side and tuning it.
"It's really good… did you write it for her?"
Andre smiled, putting the guitar down as he reached inside the lunch bag for another snack.
"Yeah, but I'll never play it for her. I feel stupid, but I guess I just can't help it. She does things to me, man. You have no idea."
Beck observed his best friend at that moment, the look in his eyes and the wistful smile on his lips. Somehow, he knew that was the look mirrored on his own face. He wished he could tell Andre that he had an idea; in fact, he was damn sure he knew the affect that he was talking about. Tori was like a toxic gas, the way she got into your head and made you dizzy. Breathing her in was like asking to be addicted. She was almost incapacitating, and the worst part about her charm was that she had no idea what she was capable of.
I mean, look at what she's doing to both of us, Beck thought. He was grateful that Andre wasn't looking him in the eye, because if he was, Beck's secret might have been revealed. Instead, he bent his head down to eat more food and continued his questioning.
"Why don't you ask her out?" Beck asked, surprised at himself as he felt a surge of an odd, uncomfortable feeling fly up his stomach when the question left his lips.
"Tori would never look at me like that," Andre said, shaking his head and chuckling slightly. "And that's okay with me, honestly. Better friends than nothing, right?"
Beck didn't answer, thinking over the latter question. Andre picked up the guitar again, resting it on his lap.
"As long as she's happy, I'm happy," Andre said, looking thoughtful. Then, as an afterthought, added, "And as long as she doesn't get back together with Rider, either."
"What happened between them anyway?" Beck asked, trying his best to sound casual. Honestly, he really wanted to know himself. He thought back to earlier in the afternoon, his stomach knotting as he remembered the way Tori had walked away with her ex. All to get away from him. This knowledge was like a punch to the stomach.
"I have no idea, man," Andre said, pulling his phone from his pocket as it buzzed. "She never told me. She never told Cat or Robbie, either."
"I hope nothing bad happened," Beck said, more to himself then to his friend. Andre shook his head almost violently.
"I used to think about that a lot," he admitted, his fingers working quickly on a reply text message. "But I don't anymore. She told me that nothing bad happened, so I believe her. Plus, she's good at protecting herself. I told you man, she's special."
Beck was almost angry at Andre's statement. He knew Tori was special. Some part of him wanted to climb the roof of the old music store and shout it. But, knowing that would reveal the weird chain of events that had been going on between him and her, Beck just shut his mouth and nodded. Knowing that he wouldn't get the answers he was looking for with Andre, Beck changed the subject.
"Who are you texting?"
"Cat," Andre said, a smile coming to his face. "She wants to know whether she should make margaritas or mojitos for game night tomorrow."
"What are you guys playing?" Beck asked.
"Probably poker," Andre said, texting his friend again. "I'm just gonna tell her to make both." Suddenly, Andre looked up, a beaming smile on his face.
"You should come."
"What?" Beck asked, taken aback by the sudden invitation.
"You should come to game night. Get your mind off Jade for a while. We're having it at my house this week because my grandma's going away for the weekend with her bingo club. Come over, man."
"I'm not really up for socializing," Beck said, stuffing his hands into his pockets.
"Dude, it's just gonna be me, Cat, Robbie, and Tori. It's not a big deal."
If you only knew,Beck thought.
"I don't wanna party crash."
"I'm inviting you to my house," Andre said, giving him a flat look. "That's not party crashing."
Beck opened his mouth to protest, but Andre cut him off.
"Dude, I'm not letting you disappear from my life again. I know you're not working. Just come over. What's the harm?"
Beck thought about Tori, how soft her mouth was and the feeling he got when she was close to him. She turned his world upside down and rendered his thought process useless. There was so much harm that could have been done. But he didn't tell Andre any of that. Conceding defeat, Beck shot his friend a small smile.
"What time should I be there?"
oooooooooooo
Trina was painting her toenails. Tori leaned against the hallway's doorframe, observing her sister from behind as she sat on the couch. She was dressed casually for once, or as casual as she could be considering Trina was…well, Trina. Her jeans were still tight and fitting, but Tori recognized the pair as one that her sister hadn't worn out of the house in almost a year. The shirt she wore very clearly displayed an Armani emblem, but at the same time it was loose fitting and one that looked a little worn. Not by much, but for the standards Trina followed, it was too much.
Trina cocked her head to the side, holding her foot out in front of her for observation. Her hair, usually wild and lose around her shoulders, was in a messy ponytail. Tori stared down at her own outfit, comparing. She was wearing a pair of yoga pants and a sweatshirt she had cut off around the collar, allowing it to fall loosely around her shoulders. Her hair was still damp from the shower she had taken the minute she got home, and she had replaced her contacts with her glasses. She was also gripping a cup of tea, blowing on the hot liquid slowly. They were as different as night and day.
"If you're gonna keep watching me, you might as well come sit next to me," Trina said, putting her foot back down and proceeding to paint another nail. "My side view is way better."
Smirking at her sister's sarcastic remark, Tori padded over to her, sitting slowly as she took a sip of her tea. Trina's nose wrinkled at the smell.
"Yuck," she said, fanning her hand out in front of Tori's cup. "I hate when you drink chai. It stinks."
"I'm surprised you can smell anything over that damn nail polish," Tori said, inhaling deeply and catching only the scent of polish and polish remover. Trina shrugged her off, shaking a bottle of pearly pink nail polish before starting again.
"You want me to do yours too?" her sister asked, not looking up. She hadn't looked at her once since she had gotten home. Tori was in the shower when she first heard her sister come through the door. She was preparing for Trina's first jealous comment regarding her new acting job. This was the way it always went, followed by some type of crying, followed by a heart-to-heart where her big sister assured her that she really was happy for her, despite acting the complete opposite. But that didn't happen this time.
Instead, Trina had peaked her head in the bathroom to let her sister know that she had brought home some food if she was hungry. When Tori had finally emerged from the shower an hour later, she saw her sister sitting on the couch peacefully, watching TV. After getting dressed, Tori stepped out to find Trina was giving herself a pedicure. And now they were both here, sitting beside each other as if nothing was wrong.
"Congratulations on the part," Trina said, grabbing her sister's foot gently and starting to paint a nail. "If you're gonna be on a famous show like that, you might want to start taking better care of your nails." Tori just stared at her sister. Finally, Trina looked up, and Tori finally understood why she hadn't met her eyes. They were rimmed in red.
"Trina-" Tori said, but her sister held up her hand, silencing her.
"I'm fine," she said, wiping her eye on her sleeve as she continued to paint Tori's toenail. "I would be lying if I said you didn't deserve it."
"I won't take it if you don't want me to-"
"Shut up," Trina said, tugging at her sister's foot a little too harshly. "Don't say that. That's not going to make me feel any better. You can't give up amazing opportunities just to please other people. I'll go my way and you go yours. I'm going to meet you at the top. I promise you that. And then you better watch your back."
She said the last statement with a tight smile, but Tori knew enough about her sister to know she was being sincere, even if it was in the form of a slight threat. She returned a small smile of her own.
"Okay. I'll be waiting."
This caused Trina's face to relax a bit, a more genuine smirk coming to her face as she continued to paint her sister's nails. Tori sipped her tea and relaxed a bit, settling against the cushions of the couch.
"Why were you in the shower so long?" Trina asked, completing one foot and starting the other. Tori leaned her head back, debating whether to explain or not. One thing good and always constant about her sister was that she was a completely separate entity from the rest of her life. She didn't have to worry about Trina slipping up and saying something to one of her friends, considering that she was so wrapped up in her own life she usually forgot what they were talking about by the next morning. But still, Tori couldn't bring herself to tell the whole truth. She didn't even know what the whole truth was.
"Boys are stupid," Tori said, remembering the taste, which had finally gone away with some mouthwash. The lingering feelings of Beck's hands, however, were not so easy to forget. She felt a warmth start in her chest, only to become a fluttering feeling in her stomach before stopping between her legs. She cursed herself internally, half tempted to jump back in the shower and not come out until she had scrubbed away all memories. Trina looked up, shooting her sister a questioning look.
"Where did that come from?" she asked, confused.
"They just are," Tori said, slapping her free hand against the couch in annoyance. "I don't understand them. They think they can just do what they want, whenever they want. They don't even think about what they're doing or who it's going to affect. They say one thing and do another. It makes me sick."
Tori stopped in the middle of her tirade, catching the tone in her voice. She sounded like a five-year-old brat. Blushing, she averted Trina's stare and continued to sip on her tea. Both sisters sat in silence for a while, the only sound being the occasional plunge when Trina dipped the brush in more color.
"You're not back together with-" Trina began, but Tori immediately cut her off.
"No, oh God no!" she exclaimed, feeling as if bile was coming up her throat at the thought of being with Rider again. "HELL no."
Trina held her hands up in mock surrender.
"Okay, I get it," she said, her teasing tone causing Tori to go red again. "But SOMEONE is obviously bothering you. Is it Andre?"
"What? No," Tori said, confused. "Why would it be Andre?"
Trina just fixed her sister with a deadpan stare.
"What?" Tori asked.
"Never mind," Trina said, brushing off Tori's inquiry. "So, who's bothering you?"
"No one is bothering me," Tori said, a little too loudly. Trina fixed her sister with that same deadpan stare again.
"You know, lying to me isn't going to help you feel any better."
Tori said nothing, knowing her sister was right. For once. Trina continued on.
"Fine, don't tell me who it is. But, if you want my advice, I think you should just go for it."
"Go for what?" Tori asked, putting her tea on the coffee table and leaning in to listen to her sister. Trina shrugged.
"You know, it," she said, smiling slightly. "Just kiss them."
"Why would I do that?" Tori asked, her voice rising a few octaves, the words a little too close together. Trina looked at her, the smile on her face widening slightly.
"Ah, so you've already kissed them," her sister said, admiring her finished pedicure work. "Okay. Good. Well, that just makes it easier. You can just tell them."
"Tell them what?" Tori asked, the question almost desperate, as if her sister might have actually held the answer to the emotional hell that she had been going through lately.
"Tell them you like them?" Trina said, looking at her sister as if the answer should have been obvious. "Maybe go out on a date with them? Fool around with them?"
Tori blushed deeper, the heat of her embarrassment making her feel as if she were going to pass out. Trina didn't seem to notice, her brow furrowing as she observed Tori's toes.
"You know," she said, searching around in the small bag that she kept her nail polishes in, "We should probably change the color. Let's paint them red or something. Baby pink doesn't exactly say 'fuck me senseless.'"
"Trina!" Tori exclaimed, smacking her sister's hand away from the bag.
"What?" Trina asked, pulling her hand away and continuing to look. "It's the truth."
"I'm-"
"I know you're a virgin, Tori," Trina said, rolling her eyes. "But one day, you won't be. Hopefully one day soon, while you're still young. It might help you relax a little bit."
"I want to do that with someone who's special," Tori said, mumbling. She was embarrassed by her fairy tale like ideals, especially considering she was sharing them with her sister, who had seemed to lose those long ago. Trina looked at her, as if knowing what she was thinking. But instead of being offended, she leaned forward and took her little sister's hands.
"Tori," she said, her serious tone almost unnerving. "I know I'm not exactly the best person to look up to when it comes to relationships. And I'm not saying be like me. Not at all. I'm just saying it's okay, if you want to do that with somebody. And there's nothing wrong with it. Just because Rider was the way he was, doesn't mean people can't be different. So, you shouldn't think everyone's gonna be like him."
"I don't-"
"Yeah," Trina said, a sad smile gracing her face. "You really do."
Tori sat in silence and, as if this was her permission to continue, Trina carried on.
"Tori, I don't know what this guy you like did to make you mad. And don't pretend you don't like him, whoever he is, because you do," Trina said, cutting off her sister's imminent protest. "But everyone makes mistakes. We're human, you know? If you still like him, you should go for it. And I think you like him more than you think you do. You wouldn't be this pissed off if you didn't."
Trina released Tori's hands and proceeded to continue on her search for the red nail polish. Tori was lost in her own mind though, rehashing everything her big sister had just said to her. Her big sister, who she had taken care of so many times and picked up off of so many sidewalks. The drunken mess who Tori sometimes wanted to scream at instead of comfort. The girl who she resented because the roles of big sister and little sister were so often reversed. But all of that didn't matter right now; Right now, Trina was giving her the best advice she could give. And she was right.
"…it's complicated. With me and him, I mean," Tori said, observing the look of triumph on her sister's face as she finally pulled the nail polish she was looking for from the bag. Trina just shrugged as she rapidly tapped the tiny bottle against her palm.
"LIFE is complicated. And short. Why not do what you want now, and then think about it later? Might as well do what we can, while we can. Be happy while we can," Trina said. As a teasing afterthought, she added, "And have sex while we can."
"Shut up," Tori said, and both sisters began to laugh. It was a deep laugh, one that Tori felt resonating throughout her entire body. She felt some of the weight of the past couple weeks lifting off her shoulders. There was more to figure out, but right now, she was just grateful to have some light shed on the subject. And she had Trina to thank for that.
As both sisters straightened up, Trina shook the little red bottle out in front of her sister's face.
"Red?" she asked.
"Red," Tori agreed, settling back as Trina smiled.
oooooooooo
Beck sat at the table the following night, staring at his hand. He had a pair of aces and he felt confident he was going to win. However, this was about the only thing he was feeling confident about. He looked around, noticing Cat was biting her lip and Robbie's eyes kept darting back and forth rapidly across his hand. Andre had a smirk on his lips, but Beck could see right through him. He was going to fold. The only person Beck couldn't read was Tori.
She was leaning back in her chair, smiling a half smile as she held her cards straight out in front of her. Her face was impassive, not giving away anything about her hand at all. As if sensing his eyes on her, she looked up briefly to meet his stare. He wondered if she was still mad at him, but her face gave away no trace of malice. Though, he also knew she wasn't showing any signs of being too thrilled to see him, either. He'd been looking for one for the past two hours.
When he had first shown up at Andre's house, he had been nervous. Volunteering to come early and help Andre set up, he had enjoyed the easy conversation that had come between him and his friend. Robbie and Cat had arrived not too long after that, carrying food and two pitchers of drinks. Beck was pleasantly surprised at how pleased they were to see him, and even more so when they had all fallen into conversation together, as if they did this all the time. It had been a while, but Beck had found himself starting to relax, enjoying the company of the carefree people around him. All that seemed to go out the window though, when Tori stepped into the room.
The door had been open, and no one had heard her come in. So, when she appeared in the doorway, Beck's breath caught a bit in his throat. She was wearing a simple black dress, a red sweater, and black sandals, with her hair slightly curled and falling past her shoulders. He glanced over and saw Andre's eyes glaze over slightly before he snapped out of it.
"You're late," he said teasingly, walking over and rumpling her hair. Tori laughed, playfully slapping him away.
"I'm sorry, but I had to stop and buy-"
When she saw him, she stopped talking. Beck saw a look of discomfort cross her features for a second before she replaced it with a smile. No one would have seen it if they hadn't been looking for it.
"Beck," she said, clearly surprised to see him. "Hi. Um, what's up?"
The question clearly asked a different question. What are you doing here?
"I invited him," Andre said, grinning down at Tori. "I figure we got a little more room in our group, right Tor?"
"The more the merrier," Tori agreed, smiling towards Beck. He could feel her discomfort in the air, but Cat didn't seem to notice as she yawned loudly.
"Guys!" she whined, indicating towards the table. "It's game night. Can we please start playing cards? Robbie and I haven't done anything all day."
Robbie blushed and stammered a rebuttal to her statement. "Well, I wouldn't say we didn't do anything-"
"We smoked a lot of weed, but then Robbie fell asleep! I was so bored!" Cat complained, bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet. "So can we please do something?"
"Sounds good to me," Beck said, shooting Cat a bright smile, grateful for her bubbly personality. Cat's cheeks took on a slight blush, causing a frustrated flush to rise up Robbie's neck. Grabbing his girlfriend's hand, he stalked away to the table. Andre giggled.
"Dude," he said, clapping Beck on the back. "You gotta stop having that affect on girls. Right, Tori?" Tori shuffled her feet uncomfortably, looking down at her toenails, which were a lovely shade of red.
"I don't know what you're talking about," she said quietly, walking over to the table as well. Andre just shrugged, and then he and Beck walked over to complete the circle and start the game.
"I'm all in," Beck said, holding his hand as if it were a precious gem. Cat took a sip from her margarita, pouting and sighing loudly before finally throwing her cards down.
"Fold!" she cried dramatically, draping herself on Robbie's shoulder. She was on the verge of drunk, while her boyfriend had already beaten her there.
"I fold too!" he yelled as he threw the cards down, covering his face with his hands. "Rex is gonna kill me."
"Don't start that shit, Robbie," Andre said, rolling his eyes as he lit up a bowl. He passed it to Tori, who took a giant hit of her own, coughing loudly. Andre rubbed her back to comfort her, and all Beck could focus on was how his hand lingered a little too long after he was done.
"You sure you're all in, Beck?" Andre asked, a goofy grin on his face, clearly indicating he was stoned. Beck just smirked at him, once again finding affection for the friend he had felt a surge of jealousy towards only minutes earlier. He asked a question in retaliation.
"You think you can beat me?" he asked. Andre cocked his head to the side, as if he saw a flash of something in Beck's eyes. But when his head leaned a little too far, Andre quickly placed it on the table, as if to steady himself.
"I'm high as fuck," he said, causing the whole table to burst into laughter before he relented and threw down his cards.
"You suck, man," Andre said, causing more giggles to erupt from Cat. Finally, this only left Beck and Tori, eyes locked across the table. Beck attempted to break the ice.
"So, you all in? Or do you fold?"
Tori stared, her eyes boring into his. He was enjoying having her full and steady attention for once, even over the smallest thing.
"I think you're lying about how good your cards are," she said, a small smirk playing on her mouth. Beck couldn't help but feel elated at the small comment, relieved that she was going along with the conversation. They both had only had one drink all night, making excuses to their friends about obligations they had the next day. But the truth was blatant in their lies, at least to the other one. They didn't trust themselves around each other intoxicated.
"I never lie," he said, and at that moment he knew their gaze became more intense. He saw it in her eyes; she was thinking about all the things he had ever said to her, wondering which ones were the truth. She was thinking about what he had said to her the night they had slept next to each other. She was thinking about what he had said to her in the library. And he wanted her to know that all he wanted at that moment was to clear things up. Explain things. He had so much to tell her, and he hoped that maybe, maybe, she had things to tell him too.
Tori bit her lip, staring down at her cards, then at him again. She then pushed all her chips to the center.
"I'm all in," she told him. Beck couldn't help but be surprised, and Tori took that opportunity to pounce.
"Scared?" she asked in a low, mocking voice.
"Never," he retaliated, throwing down his cards. "Pair of aces." Tori stared at her cards for a few seconds before finally placing down her own hand. A pair of sevens. The tension finally broke at the table, Cat gathering up everybody's cards.
"Deal again?" she asked, taking the bowl from Tori and taking a hit.
"Let's take a little break," Andre said, rising from his chair and stretching. "I wanna get some more food. And I have to check in with my grandma, anyway."
"I actually have to use the bathroom anyway," Beck said, excusing himself from the table.
"Can I actually go first, Beck?" Robbie asked, rising up quickly and bumping his knee.
"Sure," Beck said, watching as the other boy stumbled up the stairs clumsily. Cat looked from him, to Beck, to Tori, and then back up to the stairs where Robbie had disappeared. She wriggled her eyebrows, causing Tori to roll her eyes.
"Cat-"
"I have to go to the bathroom, too!" Cat said, jumping up and running up the stairs. Beck and Tori were left alone. He wanted to talk to her, but soon, Andre's conversation with his grandmother grew louder from the kitchen, making that impossible.
"Walk with me?' he asked her, indicating towards the balcony. She didn't say anything for a couple minutes, but soon, eventually rose and walked out there. He trailed behind her slowly until they both reached the rail, looking out at the dark. Neither of them said anything for a while.
"Tori," Beck said, saying her name slowly so she could cut him off if she wanted to. She didn't, so he continued/ "I'm really sorry about how I acted the other day."
"You didn't do anything," Tori said quietly, sighing as she leaned into the rail. "I overreacted. Like I said, it's none of my business what you're doing with your life."
"It kind of is," Beck said, the words leaving his lips before he realized the implications of what he had said. Tori turned to him, her face confused.
"Why would it be?" she asked, and behind the curiosity was something else. Sadness.
"You're my project partner?" he offered lamely, knowing that it was not enough of an answer to give. But it was the only one he could give her, at least right now. She smiled, slightly amused.
"Oh, yeah. That."
Slowly, he reached his hand out and placed it over hers. It was warm, even warmer when she turned her palm up so it pressed against his. They didn't lace their fingers or squeeze, but the simple act spoke volumes.
"I'm sorry if I hurt you," he whispered, not even noticing that he was stepping closer to her. "I would never want to do that. I would never hurt you." She chuckled, shaking her head slightly.
"You barely know me," she said.
"I wanna know you more," he admitted, and then looked her in the eye to ask his next question. "Do you want to know me more, too?" She gave him a once over, and then, as if deciding he was good enough, answered him.
"Yes."
One word, and suddenly so many walls had come down between them. Beck noticed there was something different about the way she was carrying herself. Almost as if she had figured something out, something he hadn't. Before he could ask about it, she turned to ask him another question.
"What do you even want to know about me?" she asked him. He thought back to sitting on the couch with her, all the simple questions he had asked her. It came so naturally, and yet it was like there wasn't enough time in the world.
"I don't know," he admitted. "But I'm leaning towards everything." Her breath caught in her throat at his statement.
"I bet you don't even remember my favorite color," she said, her laugh a little shaky.
"Purple. Now what's mine?"
"Black," she retorted quickly. She looked surprised that she had remembered that so quickly, and he smiled at her.
"So…" he said, knowing that their time was limited before their friends would be ready to resume Game Night. "We should go out tomorrow."
"Go out?" she asked, and he nodded.
"Yeah. I want to take you out."
"To do what?"
"Whatever you want," he said, smiling at her and causing her to blush. "I just want to talk to you." Tori looked contemplative and then looked away.
"This sounds like a date," she said quietly, the tone in her voice unreadable.
"I guess."
"But it's not a date," she said, looking up at him with a certain resolve. "Because you have a girlfriend. Who you've been with for two years and who you love. So, it's not a date, right?"
Beck shifted uncomfortably, but at the same time admired her honesty.
"Right," he agreed with her. "I guess… we can call it an opposite date?" Tori smiled, trying her best to ignore the impending questions of their situation. For once, she wanted to follow Trina's advice. Act now. Think later.
"I'm gonna tell you something," Tori said, stepping closer to him and shattering the realms of personal space. "But it's a secret, and you're not allowed to say anything back, okay?" The look in her eyes made it clear that she was serious, and Beck did not want her to think he didn't see that.
"Okay," he agreed.
She kissed him, wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing herself into him, willing every curve of her body to contort and fit. And in some odd way, it did. She'd never felt more that she had been molded to fit someone in her life. Beck wrapped his arms around her waist tightly, making it so that there was no space between them at all. Some part of him just wanted her to push into him completely, melt over his bones and just fuse with him. It would make him feel more sane, and considering how much she was on his mind, it seemed appropriate.
Tori felt brave this time, which surprised her, considering she was the most sober she had been for of any of their encounters. But she was also the most honest she had been. She did want to know him, despite the small voice of reason in the back of her mind telling her this probably wasn't the greatest of ideas. That voice was nothing, though, compared to how Beck made her feel. Her attraction to him physically and the connection they made when they talked trumped all reasoning for her. She wanted to know him, and she was so happy that he wanted to know her, too. That was enough for now.
She pulled away from him, both of their breathing labored, and glanced over her shoulder. She could still hear Andre speaking to his grandmother loudly from the kitchen, and Robbie and Cat were not back from their bathroom breaks. They were left alone, in their own little world, again. So, as Tori smiled at him and leaned in for one more kiss, she whispered the secret against his lips, hoping that he'd breath it in and keep it close to his heart.
"I like you."
ooooooo
Hi everybody! I'm so sorry for the long time it took me to update, but school was crazy and honestly, some writer's block played a factor. This chapter kind of set a lot of things up for the future, and from here on out, there is going to be more explicit sexual content (although I know that's not a bad thing, haha). I'm on spring break right now so I'm working on a new chapter to be put out before I go back to school on the 18th. Thanks again for everyone who supports my story PLEASE REVIEW. It's a drive to get the story out faster, ya know? :0).