Prompt 44: "I think I forgot how to breathe"

Summary: Shelagh has never been a very relaxed sort of person…set somewhere between 3x02 and 3x03

A/N: I'm so sorry these are taking so long! Tour is being absolutely amazing, but exhausting, so I haven't had the brain power to write as much. I promise I am still working on these, though. :)

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

"Do you think I'm doing something wrong?" Shelagh asked as her breath returned to its normal rhythm. Patrick looked down at her and his brow furrowed in concern. He knew she was still somewhat reserved as far as their lovemaking was concerned, but by the time their sweat was cooling and they lay bundled up in each other's arms, her eyes would always meet his for any pillow talk they were awake enough to have. Tonight, though, his gaze was only met with the soft, tangled top of her head. He ran his fingers happily through her mussed curls.

"Darling, I can't imagine how you could do anything more right." he teased gently, hoping it would coax an embarrassed smile from her. Instead, she rolled off of his chest and walked quickly across the room for her dressing gown. He watched as she wrapped herself in the flowery print he'd gotten her as a honeymoon present. Something must be truly troubling her; he'd noticed that Shelagh always wrapped herself in something to protect herself for hard conversations. Sometimes, it was his arms, sometimes, a blanket, but she was consistent. Her fingers fidgeted and she looked down at her hands as they rubbed small circles on her stomach...oh.

"It can't be you, you've had Timothy." she elaborated quietly. "Patrick, we've been trying for so long. What if it's me? What if something is wrong or I'm doing something wrong?"

"Shelagh, love, it's only been a few months." he tried gently. "You know as well as I do that it doesn't always happen immediately."

"And you know as well as I do that it often happens overnight." she sighed. He let a small smirk break the seriousness of the conversation.

"Well, I think in the long run, it always happens overnight, darling." he grinned and she shook her head with a smile, his warm, humorous heart drawing her back to bed. He opened his arms and she crawled back into them, but stayed atop the blankets. She closed her eyes and let the feel of his warm chest lull her into relaxation. She didn't want to taint this part of their lives with her constant anxiety, but lately, she felt like she couldn't do anything else.

It wasn't that she wasn't happy. In fact, looking back on her life, Shelagh felt very confident saying that the past few months with Patrick and Timothy had been the happiest she'd ever been. That said, she wanted a baby. No, more than that, she wanted Patrick's baby. She'd given up everything she'd ever known for the gifts of marriage and motherhood and now she felt more pressured than ever to get pregnant. There were so many little knowing comments floating around her now: 'Enjoy those new clothes while you still can', 'At least you're more prepared than any other mother in Poplar', 'I always thought it was such a shame Timothy didn't have a sibling', and her favorite, 'You two spend so much time around babes, it's a miracle you don't have five already'. She hadn't mentioned any of it to Patrick, after all, no one meant any harm, but she couldn't deny that combined with her innate desire for children, the comments were taking their toll.

"I just want to make you happy." Shelagh whispered into his skin, his chest hair tickling her lips as she spoke.

"You make me ecstatic." said Patrick. He paused for a moment and pondered. "You know, there is one school of thought that stress can contribute to problems in conceiving."

"Really?" Shelagh pressed herself onto her side and looked up at him, eyes blazing with the interest of a nurse and a hopeful mother.

"Mmmhmm." he nodded. "It's not been proven, but I suppose it makes sense. Stress and anxiety can have great effects on the body in other ways, why not pregnancy?" Shelagh deflated a bit.

"Then I fear I'm going to have a very hard time getting pregnant." she sighed. Patrick sat them both up so he could look at her properly.

"Shelagh, may I ask why you are so worried?"

Had it been anyone else, she would have been irritated and assumed that they were dismissing her concerns, but Patrick's questioning was always sincere. He knew she was hurting he wanted to fix it, and he knew the only way of doing that was to diagnose the problem. It was simply his nature and she loved him for it.

"I don't know, exactly." she admitted. "I suppose I've never been a very relaxed sort of person. I think...I just worry a lot; about getting pregnant, about not getting pregnant, about what people will think if I do or don't, about how Timothy would feel about it, about...well, many things."

"Darling, why didn't you tell me you were so concerned?" he asked.

"I didn't want to worry you." she shrugged, her restless fingers now playing with his. "And I didn't want you to think I was always distracted while we...you know…" Patrick smiled.

"Shelagh, if you can have sex with me, I think you can say the word." he teased, loving the blush that crept all the way up to her eyes. "And as far as you being distracted goes, that's something you can always talk to me about. You're right, I don't want you to be distracted, but I can't help you with that unless you tell me about it."

"I suppose that's true." she admitted. The gentle taps of her fingers had become soft caresses against the back of his hand.

"Do you know what I think?" he asked, letting the hand she wasn't holding captive trace a line up to the tie of her dressing gown. She shook her head slowly and he groaned as he watched her eyes glaze over in anticipation. "I think you need to stop thinking so much."

Shelagh barely had time to agree with him before his lips claimed hers and he pushed her backwards into the mattress.

Later on, she collapsed helplessly on top of him in a pile of sated limbs. He didn't have the energy to move her, so he simply accepted that she would be his blanket for the night (since all the others had made their way onto the floor in the frantic tussle of their last bout) and traced small circles on her back.

"Did you forget about baby?" he whispered into her hair.

"Patrick, I think I forgot how to breathe." she admitted, breathlessly.

He beamed and secured his arms further around her. Their baby would come in time.

44 down, 6 to go! Hope you enjoy!