A/N- Merged two chaps together... Don't give up on me, yet!

Day 74

*flashback*

(February 14th, 2005)

"…Noah, so help YOU Jesus, if you aren't here in the next 30 mins…IT'S OVER.", I yell into the cell phone. I'd been freezing my ass off outside the restaurant/bar, Maude's, for the past 10 mins trying to reach my boyfriend, Noah to no avail—I had to resort to leaving threatening voicemails.

Silently brooding but passing it off with a show-smile, I make my way back in towards our table where Ramses, a mutual friend, and his girlfriend await us…well me since the man of the hour is nowhere to be found.

"Todavia no contesta?", asks Thalia, Ramses's girl. She knows the answer…the petty smile says it.

Sipping on my Coke wishing it were STRONG liquor—since I'm not yet legal to drink, "No, no…said he'd be here in half hour.", I smile unconvincingly

"Well, la noche esta young…Ima go get me a drink from el bar. Be back, portense bien chiquillas.", announces Ramses in his noticeable accent, he kisses his girl and walk off leaving us girls alone.

Jumping a seat to not be as far away, I sit next to Thalia, "So… have you told him yet?"

Thalia looks at me with a confused stare, "Que dices?"

Rolling my eyes at her pretending not understanding me—she understands English but can't speak it, "No te hagas"

Girl giggles and nudges me playfully, "No ehm…I have not.", she grins proudly at herself

Rolling my eyes once more, "You speak 3 words in English y ya te crees.", she sticks out her tongue, and I laugh, "Why haven't you told him? You're like…3 months along, woman!"

Quickly shushing me and looking about for any traces of her boyfriend, "Not that loud…es que estoy esperando el moment corecto.", she tells me, patting her still-lean tummy

Simple and adorable as the gesture is, I'd be fibbing if I said it hadn't bothered me because it had. Not that I want a kid, no…it's just that it'd be nice. Noah hates kids so even if I wanted any it'd be impossible.

"Oye, por que esa cara?", asks Thalia

Forcing a tiny smile, "Nothing, nothing…just that this dude is taking forever to get here!"

"Which one, I'm here…no worries.", chuckles Ramses, half scaring me to death, "Sorry.", he places a type of red wine in front of Thalia and me, "Beer didn't look muy classy.", he adds with a frown

"Thanks.", I tell him before downing the wine

The couple stares at me but the secretly pregnant woman speaks up, "No…no quiero, gracias."

"More for me then!", I take her glass and down that one too. Seeing the stares I've earned, I looks down, "Sorry, nerves…", they smile understanding what I meant.

Soon enough, small talk and banter worked its way to our table. Every 5 mins or so, I'd turn around to check if Noah was already in but always I'd be disappointed when it was just another couple coming or leaving. Everywhere, couples were eating and enjoying each other's company since it wasn't just any day but Valentine's Day. Obviously couple would be packing places like this one all around which made it quite unbearable to be alone.

Clock struck 9 and yet no signs of Wesley. Of course, he probably saw my threat as just nothing but a bluff—since I always tend to threaten with nothing backing it. Pissed off didn't even begin to describe how I felt. Fucked as it sounds, I actually want the man to call and say that in he got into a freak accident or something because I was straight pissed.

Vibration of a phone was picked up by my keen ears and I tell it's owner to answer. He does and immediately smirks, "Papa, estas mas que muerto…", he says snickering

Whispering, "Who is it?", my friend mouths out 'Boyfriend' and I snatch the phone from the man's ear, "Where in fuck's name are you?", an elderly couple closest to us turns around with frowns and I mouth a 'sorry'

"Ya", he whines, "Best stop yellin' at me 'cus I'll leave your moody ass…"

Rage boils from head to toe, "It is fucking Valentine's Day, motherfucker. You serious? You wanna leave me alone AGAIN? WHERE ARE YOU?", I mutter dangerously into the cell phone

"Calm the fuck down! I'm outside…I'm leavin' fuck this shit.", he clicks and I bolt straight for the door

Finding him was the easiest thing to do as he was just leaning against a streetlight smoking a square. Getting to him, that was a mission since people still flooded the streets. Believe me though, when it comes to playing the bitchy girlfriend…I play it well.

Smacking the cig from his hand, I size him up which is pretty ridiculous since he's a head taller, "Donde chingaos estabas? I been waiting on you for…TOO long! WHERE. WERE. YOU! Con quien estabas? EH!", subconsciously I've started to pushing him

Being that he hates my little scenes in public, he starts getting annoyed, "Stop makin' a fool outta me. If you gon' start your little shit…let's go home!"

Widening my eyes with complete anger, "Why are you so set on leaving or going home…huh?"

"I'm not in the mood for tus pinches shows!", he states simply as he puts another square in his mouth ready to light it up

His lack of care upsets me, more than it should, my eyes start to water, "You've been ghosting in and out of the house for the past month…I actually thought you cared since YOU wanted a romantic dinner with me and YOU invited Ramses and Thalia.", motioning to my outfit, "I even got all dolled up just because you like it when I do…", wiping my tears, "Noah, it's fucking Valentine's Day…you're supposed to cheese it and tell—SHOW me how much you love me. BUT I guess you don't since you've done nothing but upset and—"

Dropping his cig, Noah pulls me into a hug and rubs circles on my back attempting to soothe me. Sweet as the gesture is and feels…a faint scent of women's perfume reaches my nostrils. No it isn't mine for it is cheap smelling perfume. "I'm sorry, mami. Been so caught up and stressed…Let's go in and forget this bullshit.", he guides me to the restaurant/bar but yet I cannot let the smell go.

Conversation is going good. Been about an hour or two since my man made his appearance and he was enjoying himself while I still let the perfume smell linger around my mind. My attention, however, is set on Ramses chatter about a drunken rumble he got himself into last week.

Walking over to us, a bartender named Monique asks us if we'd like to try her latest drink. Only, Noah takes one. If I didn't know better, this bitch was giving Noah the 'sex eyes'. Her cheap perfume flooded my nostrils and I immediately remembered the familiar scent having been on Noah's person.

"Creo que ya le voy a decir, Marleene.", whispers a nervous Thalia in my ear. A wide grin spreads on my face and I rub her knee for support. Lightly tapping on her beaus thigh, Thalia gets his attention, "Necesito decirte algo…", she starts out with a crooked smile, "Amor, e—"

"Sorry babe but I need to say something too…", Thalia frowns slightly but nods, "Okay, dame un second.", Ramses stands up and claps his hands earning himself some attention from patrons, "Ehm…I need a moment of your attention, please.", people around raise their brows, including us, in confusion, "Thalia, amor, we've been going out since senior year. I swear, the day I saw you pass by…I was like 'Damn, that girl is fine'.", oh boy, he sounds like a tool, "Nunca pense that you were gonna end up meaning anything to me…maybe a fling…nada mas. Pero, something about you made me care, even though I didn't want to. You're the first girl I ever cried in front of…first girl I actually loved—keep on loving not just because I wanted to get in your pants, but because you-you changed me. Changed my mujeriego ways…Palabras cannot describe all of this that I feel for you. Anywho, Thalia…amor…", he takes her hand and gets on his knees, Thalia's eyes water, "Please don't break my heart…marry me.", he pulls out a tiny box and opens it to reveal a modest ring.

An array of whistles and 'aws' resound around; I interlace my fingers with Noah's. If hearing about the baby caused jealousy in me…this does too. Always had I imagined myself being married to the man beside me. Actually, when we moved in together, I saw that as the first step. To this day, he hasn't mentioned marriage…which causes me sadness but I never tell him about it.

Instead of answering, Thalia kisses him passionately. Women all around the restaurant sniffle into their handkerchiefs, and 'aw' at the spectacle. Men, they wolf-whistle and applaud. Noah, he pats his friend of the back and I…I smile or at least try to.

The newly engaged couple smile at each other and the girl leans in to whisper something into the man's ear. Shocked, apparently, Ramses mouths something like 'Really' and Thalia nods weepy eyed and smiling. Her fiancé kisses her all around and jumps up striking a triumphant pose, "IMA BE A DADDY!"

Another roar of applauses for the couple of the moment. All of this gets to me and I excuse myself to the bathroom. Only there do I start crying against one of the sinks.

Lying atop Noah's rising and falling chest, hearing his heartbeat, staring off into the mirror atop our dresser after finishing off our grand finale to celebrate Valentine's Day, I realize that this is how I want to fall asleep every night. Not exactly having sex but in this man's arms.

Gathering some balls, I sit down and look him deeply in the eyes, "Baby, you ever gonna wife me?"

The question must've come as…I don't know…he just eyes me as if I'm crazy or something. Attempting to change the subject, he sits up and reaches over to his discarded pants, "I got you a lil' somethin'. Close your eyes, cutie.", he puts something on my lap, "Open."

Opening my eyes, I see a small jewelry box. My mind comes to the conclusion that it's THEE box. Holding in a shriek, I open it only to be grandly disappointed. Don't get me wrong, the thought put in is rather cute…but not what I'd expected. Gingerly touching the gold necklace with my name in cursive, I try my hardest not to cry.

Sliding off the bed, I walk over to the mirror, "You wanna help me put it on?", with a smirk Noah strolls over.

He puts it on me and hugs me nipping my ear, "Hermosa. You're mine forever…maybe someday when I make enough at the shop…I'll throw you a badass wedding, babe. I love you."

My next question would've been about the bartender and the perfume but hearing his words made my thoughts disappear. Turning around, I kiss him and pace us back to the bed where he falls with me on top ready for another round before knocking out.

*end of flashback*

Clutching my bathrobe to keep it from flaying open, I observe the only gift I've kept from my ex. Like our relationship, the necklace was a fake. After a year it had turned into this weird mix of gold and silver or something. Tears blur my eyesight the more time I take staring at the cheap trinket. Memories flood my brain…memories that I know will take time to wash away.

Knocking on my door I hear and I wipe my eyes and look at my reflection in the mirror. My eyes are puffy which'll give away that I'd been crying. The door opens revealing Phil with an apron around his waist.

Leaning against the doorframe, "I've cooked up lunch…you want some?", he begins. Since Colt's leave, I've decided to actually do things for myself and get out of bed. Things between Punk and me—we've been on more civil, speaking terms with moments of awkwardness. He eyeballs me and strolls over, "You've been crying…why?"

Feeling slightly uncomfortable and lying, "No…no. Just soap got into my eye and yeah…", no use lying, durr

He cocks an eyebrow, "Gimme the real story…c'mon now pretend I'm Colt or someone you can confide in."

Instinctively, my mind travels directly to Micks and Wes. The thought of them brings me to tears because both my confidants are gone…well, one in the actual sense. Phil realizes that his choice of words isn't exactly the best. Finding difficulty in how to handle a crying woman—especially a crying ex that he still has feeling for, he stumbles over words, "Shit, shit, shit…um, Mar…beautiful…I'm sorry.", he looks over to the door and then grabs my forearm, "Come here.", he brings me into him, crying and all.

Takes about a minute to recognize that my robe is open; my tears dry up and only short whimpers come from my throat. Phil has a good hold on me and probably doesn't notice. He whispers short apologies. "Phil…Phil…", he nods his response, "I'm fine, really. That just got me outta nowhere.", worrying that Maria will walk by, I whisper, "Release me… just close your eyes, please."

Reluctantly, he loosens up his hold and I wiggle out quickly tying my robe together. Noah's necklace drops to the floor in the process, "You can look."

Punk opens his eyes and notices the necklace on the floor. Picking it up, he hands it to me, "That the reason for the previous tears?"

"Noah gave it to me last Valentine's Day…", I whisper looking downwards.

"Oh... You miss—LOVE the motherfucker after all he's done to you? To Wes? To all of us?", he asks, his voice raising the more aggravated he gets

Never had I put thought to the man before the question but I know somewhere deep inside, he'll live on in me, "Gimme a break, we went out for 4yrs…I fell in love with the bastard.", something about Punk, of all people, asking aggravated me, "He scooped me up whe-when…", looking at Phil, I knew that he knew the rest of my sentence. Sighing, "I haven't been alone of this day for the past 4yrs of my life. Shit goes down and here I am…alone. I guess this damned necklace just brought back memories…", walking over to my dresser, I open it and throw the necklace in with high hopes of forgetting it.

Guilt is written all over Punk's face as he stands leaning over my mirror's dresser, "You're still in love with him, aren't you?", he asks in a deep whisper

My mouth feels tied, not knowing how to answer…or IF to even answer. The truth, honesty? "How can you stop loving somebody from one day to next?", something sadistic in me pops in the question, "If you left Maria…fo-for me…you wouldn't stop loving her, would you?", when the accused doesn't respond, I take it that he's guilty, "See, that's why you don't leave her…you love her. That's why I don't want to step in, Phil.", silence fills the room, "I'm ready for that lunch, Chef.", I announce with a fake smile that hopefully will tell Phil to forget about this.

As I stroll past him with the same smile, he turns around and voices his thoughts, "What about you, Marleene. You say that like you wouldn't yourself. Tell me, Judge Judy…theoretically, if you were in my shoes, would you be able to leave that son-of-a-bitch for me? After, we'd admitted our feelings for each other? Would you be able to leave that love for a first one?"

With so many factors in my situation, saying what I was about to say—it'd be considered untruth or not an actual answer, "You leave Maria for me after all of this?", my fake smile falters for a millisecond and on that note I leave for the kitchen, "Your amazing meal ain't gonna serve itself, Chef!"

Upon my arrival into the kitchen, I'm taken aback at the scene. Maria and baby Eli are situated at the table. Not that I haven't seen Maria but Eli…different story. We're talking about a kid who I go to all costs to avoid. Seeing her gives me goosebumps. Caught between leaving and just bossing it out…I choose leaving but Maria catches me with her usual smile.

"Hey.", she says nonchalantly

Yes, I've seen the woman but we haven't really talked so much even sat down for a meal, "Um…hey. What's the kid doing here?", I try my best to act cool

Rubbing Eli's cheek tenderly, "Can't just leave her alone while she's awake, can I?"

Feeling like a tool I mumble, "Oh yeah…"

Seeing that I'm still planted near the doorway, "Eli gonna hassle you? I can leave…just say so.", Maria starts getting up

"NO! No it's fine…I just need some time to get used to her being around me.", a scent of pancakes, eggs, and sausages is picked up by my nose; I walk over to the stove to see just what Chef Phil has come up with, "Breakfast for lunch? We at Denny's?", this makes me chuckle softly…he would.

Faint knocking is picked up by my ears and I walk over to the living room just to check if I'm not just hearing things. A couple of swift knocks and it is confirmed that somebody's at the door. Let it be a neighbor…somebody needs to clean the place. "I'LL GET IT!", shouts Phil as he appears from the hallway. He grimaces at me and walks over to the door and opens it, "What's up?"

A delivery man, from a flower shop apparently, pushes an expensive looking bouquet of flowers into Phil's arms and asks for a signature. Annoyed by the dude's actions, Phil slams the door in his face.

Going over and smelling the fresh flowers, "Who they for?", I ask, "They're so beautiful.", Phil gazes longingly at me, "Phil. Who are they for?", I enunciate

Shaking himself, he picks around for a note, "It says 'for Marleene'.", he frowns slightly, "I'd say these are from Randall." Why would he send me this shit?

"Letmme see.", I snatch the note away from him and open it. It's what I read that shocks me the most. The expression on my face depicts it. It reads:

Maria,

Look, this is a quick note. Sometime after you receive these flowers, I'll be in Chicago and THEN we'll talk it out. Please, please answer my calls/texts. I need to see you. I've left Angie…I'm done playing, Maria. I'm in love with you…sorry it took so long.

-Dave

"Why the face? Letmme see what corny, Valentine's crap the boy sent you.", he reaches for the note but I swat his hand. He looks annoyed and yet amused now, "Ooh, is it something steamy, huh?"

Maria appears, "What was—Oh my…", she walks over to the assortment with Eli in her grasp, "this is gorgeous! Mar, who sent it to you?"

Putting on a smile, "Oh just Dave."

"Dave?", inquires Phil with a raised brow, "They're Spata-ing it out for you?"

His girl slowly looks up at me with a look in her owl eyes that read 'They're for me, aren't they?'

Here I am, finding myself stuck in a love triangle…or square: Phil emotionally cheating on his lovely girl Maria by loving me, and said girl cheating on him in every aspect with Dave. Tell me a year ago that this'd happen…I'd laugh and say that'd I'd forever be with Noah. Yeah…but things—paths change, and sometimes they collide, crash, meet-up—however you wanna put it.

With eyebrows furrowed, and crossing his arms, "You know… what I said back at the cabaret that—that wasn't a suggestion…"

Taking my eyes off of Maria's retreating figure, "Wait what?", I'd honestly zoned him out

Seriousness etched all over his being, "I didn't actually mean that you should hooker about with Randall and Dave…"

Caught between laughing and bitching him out…I chose the latter, "Sweetie…oh boy.", catching my breath, "How the fuck am I, of ALL people, gonna even think about having a love affair with an about to be divorce but STILL married man; much less, a man who has a kid?"

Rubbing his chin pensively, "Last time I checked, you WERE going around for some change."

My mouth gapes open. I'm at a loss for words. "How…HOW are you gon' say that? I've been through so much…I-I've been bed-ridden for like 2 months. Haven't even done shit since Micks found out!", thinking on it, "Why do you even care?"

Now laughing himself, he closes the distance between us, squinting his eyes, "Maybe JUST maybe it's the fact that I'm in love with you, princess. Maybe THAT makes me care so much."

Smirking, "My oh my, why Phillip you're jealous.", Idiota why you smirking? This is no good!

Finding words, Phil caresses a side of my face, "And if I am?", the intensity of his gaze mesmerizes, throwing off my better judgment, he leans in ever so slowly and whispers against my lips, "Flatter yourself."

This throws me off and knocks me into my senses. I turn away, "Well don't be.", I walk away in the direction Maria went, taking the note Dave wrote in hand. Why you being sucha good Samaritan all of the sudden?

It ain't wrong, Marleene. Technically, it wouldn't be cheating 'cus Maria HAS been…Eye for an eye? It ain't—SHUT UP. Sometimes, I hate how I talk to myself or well, my conscience does…

Noiselessly, I creep my way to Dom's room where Maria, Phil, and Eli stay. Stopping just outside the door, my ears pick up the audible sniffles of what I assume a caught-up Maria. Closing my eyes, I knock on the door to alert the woman to dry her tears if she has to and enter.

With her back to me, Maria visibly trembles. Awkwardness eats me whole. I've never any other emotion of the woman other than pure joy and anger…never no tears. Scratching my arm, I speak up, "Um…you okay? You left all of the sudden and well yeah…", Smooth!

"Uh…yeah, just fine. Came here 'cus the doll fell asleep.", she responds with that weird laugh that isn't really a laugh, more like a sigh.

Terrible liar. Resisting the temptation of rolling my eyes, I walk over to the bed where teeny-tiny Eli lays sound asleep without a care in the world. Safe to say that I'd give anything to be in her place. Kneeling down by the edge, I watch the rhythmic rise and fall of her chest before gathering some valor and actually touching one of her miniature-sized hands. Simple as it is, I'm nervous that she'll cry out or something.

"What did he say?", speaks up Maria suddenly making me flinch

"What?"

Honey-blonde turns around and that's when I see her puffy, red, owl-eyes and a lazy expression, "We both know that those flowers are for me, Marleene. What did Dave want?"

Feeling a bit of attitude from the woman, I stand up and hand her the note, "Read for yourself.", THAT she does. Crossing my arms, I watch as her eyes scroll through the note. When I figure that she's done, I bring up the question, "Taking up the offer?"

Realizing that I've read her note, Maria gasps, "How-how did…?"

Not wanting to beat around the bush any longer, "Been knowing since the cabaret, dear. Just didn't want to put you out there…not my shit to tell.", why don't you come out with it and say that everybody know? "Not trying to be a bitch or anything but…I've come to believe that everybody knows about you two."

Covering her mouth, Maria's eyes gloss over with fresh tears. She paces about the room, "Oh my Jesus…I should've…fuck, fuck, fuck…"

Fatigue overpowers me from outta the blue so I sit pretzel-style on the floor observing the woman, "You in love him?"

Female yields, "Who?"

"Who came into mind first?"

Her gaze downcasts, "Dave."

"There's your answer…"

Like me, Maria plops down on the floor across from me. Moments pass by and we're both silent taking in life. One would think that sitting next to the girlfriend of the man who claims he loves you is weird and crazy…sitting next to her feel unearthly normal—like…we're both stuck in similar situations.

"We met back in '04…I was in the Diva Search contest—"

Knowing where this was going, "You don't have to tell me…that's all you."

She stares at me for a second and then at the wall, "I was thrilled to have been considered. Major thing to be observed by talent recruiters from the WWE. He and Randy were hosts so obviously we'd spend time together getting our scripts and all that good stuff. We'd hang by catering most of the time. He was…is…interesting. We'd chat about anything and everything. Guess we became close 'cus he asked me to dinner...", the female smiles slightly at the memory, "Through his nervousness, he ended up knocking over my drink…twice. It was rather cute…from there we just became something else.", playing with her nails, "His wife suspected something and well…we got lucky that I was sent off to OVW. We let it go for a while.", a miniature smile returns, "Met Phil and God, was he an ass. We'd go at it so much people would tell us to get a room and just get it over with…", she shakes her head chuckling under her breath

Feeling my heart chipping, "I-I really don't—"

"We weren't exclusive but I guess feelings get in the way and I fell in love with the dude…and I'd like to think he with me.", wringing her hands, "We moved in together. Funny, because he was never one to tell me about super personal shit; sure he'd mention his sister and nephew but nothing else about his family. Sometimes, if he'd actually fall asleep…I'd hear him mumble 'Marleene'."

This hits me like a wrecking ball. I turn to stare at her completely flabbergasted, "I-I di—I", nothing coherent travels out my mouth so she shuts me up

"I'd think it was his sister, the one in the psychiatric hospital, because that was the one thing of super confidential nature he mentioned to me…maybe a nightmare he was having or I don't know.", a phone vibrated somewhere but she ignores it, "Dave, dunno how, got my number and suggested we go out as friends…I said that it wouldn't hurt…I was all Phil's.", her hands begin to tremble, "Getting to the point, Phil finally comes home after visiting his sister for the first time in years. Trying to be a romantic, I cooked up some food, set up the dinner table all cute and stuff, threw on some cute clothes, and waited for him. He came home—we got dinner over with—um, we—while we…uh…ma-made love…he-he whispered 'Marleene'.", she turns to me with red eyes, "That's when I knew…Seeing how he looked, looks, took care of, take cares of you…confirmed, confirms it."

Inarticulately, I try to convey…say the right words but in the end it's all just babbling, "Maria I-I…we never di—I'm sorry I-I hone—"

Raising a hand, "I'm not as naïve as I seem, Mar. When I knew your name…it was like 'Game Over'. I don't blame him, really. You're beautiful and the way he'd tell me about you…he's in love—like in the full sense.", a single tear streams down his face, "I tried so hard not to notice. I-I was, AM, in love with him…I tried so bad to hate your guts but couldn't. Dave came back into the picture and well confused things.", sighing, "As for you and Phil…I know you guys haven't done stuff—that's not Phil. Also, I've heard you deny him and the like…", she takes hold of my hand, "Thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. I'm the only one that messed up: I cheated in the full sense. I-I just need one favor."

"G-Go ahead."

"I'm going to meet up with Dave…I know it's wrong to ask but…keep Phil busy, I'm telling him that I need air or something. Take of my little girl.", she turns around to touch Eli, "Please?"

Only seemed right, after this coming undone…the least I could do. I nod and that's when Maria breaks down. I hold her as she lets out all that she has kept in. The one person I came to believe was alright after all of this, one who I believed needed no attention…she came undone. I, myself, feel for her. Love triagles, squares—SHAPES…always end with people hurt…but, this is just the falling—the beginning of the end of this affair.

The door opens, "You ladies actually made me go Bobby Flay for…not—", Phil's eyes travel from me to his girlfriend, "What's going on and should I be scared?"