Prompt 46: "I need some time"
Summary: A 'how Nonnatus found out' set end of season 2 before the Christmas special.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
"Please will you marry my dad?"
The words washed warmly through her blood and in that moment as the world fell into place, Shelagh knew he didn't even need her to say yes. She wasn't sure she could have anyway. The reality of the man she loved standing before her with an engagement ring and an unconditionally loving smile had robbed her of her words, and very nearly her breath. Instead, she held out her hand and his eyes lit up even further as he gently placed the simple ring on her finger and brought her hand to his lips - the action made all the sweeter by the relief that it was no longer forbidden.
Thought he looked as flustered as she did, Patrick recovered the power of speech first.
"I love you, Shelagh." he whispered. It wasn't the first time he'd said it, but in the aftermath of their new engagement, it sounded much freer to her; as though he were no longer scared to say the words.
"Oh, Patrick," she took a deep breath, "I love you too. So very much." Any fear she'd felt at saying the phrase back to him evaporated and instead, the admission filled her with such a sense of purpose. He pulled her gently to him and they lost track of how long they stood in each other's arms in the kitchen where everything had begun to snowball. Standing in Patrick's arms, Shelagh realized she'd never felt this safe before in her life, and it nawed at her a bit. She was blissfully happy and she would never regret her choice to leave the order, but it sat strangely with her that the place she happily and willingly called home for over a decade had never made her feel as secure as she did in that moment.
"It's so different from the last time we stood here." Patrick remarked into her hair. "I can't believe we don't have to hide this anymore."
Shelagh tensed a bit against her will and Patrick pulled back in concern.
"Shelagh, is everything alright?" He was incredibly worried. He knew he shouldn't be so overly sensitive, but he never dreamed they'd be standing there and he still hadn't shaken the fear that one wrong move would take her away from him.
"Everything is wonderful, Patrick." she replied sincerely. "I'm just...I don't think I'm ready for everyone to know just yet...about us." She spoke hesitatingly, in fear of offending him, but he smiled and sighed in relief.
"Darling, that's alright." he assured. "It's a lot to get used to for me, I can't even imagine how overwhelming it must be for you." Shelagh beamed and hugged him back to her.
"Do you think," she paused, "that is, would you mind terribly if I wore my ring about my neck for now?" Her heart broke as his face fell a bit, but she just wasn't ready for all the questions. She loved him, she would marry him that day if he asked her, but people were already accosting her with their curiosity and she didn't think she was ready to handle the gossip about their engagement on top of the gossip about her leaving Nonnatus. "I love you so much, Patrick, it's just that...everyone is already staring at me and I think I need some time before I give them more to stare at."
Patrick moved his hand up to caress her cheek and she gratefully leaned into his touch.
"Of course," he said earnestly. "I understand." he paused for a moment. "You are accepting my proposal, though, right?" he asked, lovingly, but very nervously.
"Well, it wasn't really your proposal," she replied with a grin, "but you can tell Timothy that yes, I will marry his dad."
"Cheeky, Miss Manion." Patrick remarked, surprised. "I can see between the two of you, I'm going to be up against quite the gang."
Not quite ready for the banter she seemed to have stumbled into, Shelagh blushed and tucked her head back into his chest.
"Not to worry, darling, I can't wait." he whispered lovingly.
The next few days seemed to drag on agonizingly for both of them. They were finally free to be together, but since they'd agreed not to say anything until Shelagh was ready, they found themselves struggling to so much as be in the same room when they were around other people. They'd already been through months of having to keep their love a secret because it couldn't be shared and now, somehow, it was worse because it wouldn't be shared.
It wasn't that Shelagh was embarrassed (despite Patrick's anxiety) or that she felt they were doing anything wrong (despite her own misgivings in the middle of the night), it was simply that telling people would give their relationship over to all of Poplar and that terrified her. She loved every second she spent with Patrick and Timothy, but it was just theirs. The second anyone else was allowed into her new bubble of life, it would shatter. People would have questions, she would have to tell the Sisters and the nurses, and everyone would want to poke and prod the way they would with any other high profile couple. She couldn't handle that.
She could barely handle bringing Timothy to the end of clinic, how on earth could she be expected to handle announcing her engagement to his father?
"Auntie Shelagh, are you alright?" Shelagh broke out of her worried inner monologue to look down at the boy she now considered a son in every way. She wondered if Timothy knew how similar he was to Patrick when he looked at her in concern like that.
"I'm fine, Timothy." she answered. "It's just been a little while since I've seen everyone from Nonnatus House."
"Oh." Timothy pondered. "Is that why you washed the dishes twice the other night? When Nurse Lee came by for dad?"
Shelagh grimaced inside. The boy really was too smart for his own good. Yes, perhaps she had been hiding from Jenny, but she didn't think she'd been that obvious.
"No," she forced a laugh, "it just takes twice the effort to clean up after your father."
Timothy grinned conspiratorially and nodded. He liked having Auntie Shelagh on his side, no matter what his dad thought.
The last of the patients was leaving as Shelagh and Timothy walked inside and despite her nerves, Shelagh found herself missing the bustle of clinic days. Perhaps one day in the very distant future, she could be a part of them again? That was a thought for much later on.
"Shelagh, my dear, it's so wonderful to see you." Sister Julienne noticed as soon as Shelagh entered and hurried over to her. She missed her surrogate daughter more than she could say, though she respected and understood why she was keeping her distance for the time being.
"Hello, Sister Julienne." Shelagh greeted shyly. "I'm just dropping Timothy off..I..um..I happened to be walking by his school when it let out."
"No you-" Timothy tried, but Shelagh quickly stopped him.
"I believe your father is in the kitchen, Timothy."
Timothy looked between Shelagh and Sister Julienne in confusion, but eventually made his way over towards the kitchen. Auntie Shelagh was acting strangely, but Nonnatuns in a kitchen usually ended in sweets for him and he was alright with that.
"I do wish you'd come around more often." Sister Julienne remarked when Timothy had left. "We all miss you terribly."
"I'm sure that's not true." Shelagh replied sadly, knowing Sister Evangelina was probably still furious with her. "At any rate, you're all so busy, I'm sure you wouldn't have time."
"We would make time for you, Shelagh." Sister Julienne insisted.
Shelagh wanted so badly to tell Sister Julienne everything, but she couldn't. She just couldn't.
"That's very kind of you, but I really should be going." Shelagh rattled off before turning to leave so she couldn't see the heartbreak on the older woman's face.
"Auntie Shelagh!" Timothy hollered as he ran after her before either Patrick or Shelagh could stop him. Every single nurse and nun stopped what they were doing at his word choice.
"Auntie?" Sister Julienne asked in curiosity as Timothy nearly knocked Shelagh over.
"Auntie Shelagh, are you cooking dinner again tonight? Dad says he has to go back to the surgery, but he probably won't if you come over and your cooking is so much better than his!" Timothy asked eagerly, oblivious to how quickly Shelagh was paleing.
"Tim...I…" she sputtered, looking hopelessly around her for any sort of help. Unfortunately, Patrick came after his son at that moment and he was not the help she wanted at all.
"Timothy, I wasn't finished talking, you can't just run off like that." Patrick chided, walking over to them.
"But you made a decision without asking Auntie Shelagh and you said we weren't supposed to do that anymore." Timothy pointed out. Patrick cursed inwardly. The one time his son had chosen to listen to him…
"Timothy, this isn't the place for this." Patrick warned, trying to move him and Shelagh out the door.
"And might I ask what exactly this is?" Sister Evangelina asked, fire blazing in her eyes. Patrick and Shelagh looked at each other and then turned to the many pairs of curious eyes. Sister Evangelina had only asked what all of them had been thinking, though it seemed Trixie and Sister Julienne had already solved the puzzle based on their smiles.
Seeing the love from her mentor's eyes beaming down at her gave Shelagh strength and she nodded at Patrick.
"It's alright." she whispered. Patrick reached out and took her hand, ignoring the gasps from several others in the room.
"Shelagh and I are engaged to be married." Patrick stated simply. Shelagh beamed. Hearing it outloud was surprisingly riveting.
"I beg your pardon?" Sister Evangelina asked, shocked.
"Doctor Turner asked me to marry him and I said yes." Shelagh repeated her fiance as she squeezed his hand and Timothy joined them.
"Auntie Shelagh's going to be my new mum!" he exclaimed excitedly before he realized, "Oh, I wasn't supposed to say anything, was I?" he asked sheepishly, looking towards Patrick and Shelagh.
"Well, I'm thrilled you did, or else we never would've gotten to congratulate you." Trixie spoke warmly, hurrying forward to wrap Shelagh up in a loving hug.
"You're happy for us?" Shelagh asked hopefully.
"Of course we are, silly!" Trixie gushed. "All of us." she gave a pointed look towards Sister Evangelina who huffed, but let a small smile escape her lips.
"Sister Julienne?" Shelagh asked softly, turning to the nun. "Are you-"
"I couldn't be happier for you both." she assured honestly. "You've both been so lost for so long. It couldn't be more clear or more right for you to find each other."
Shelagh felt tears brimming in her eyes. She still didn't feel fully reconciled, but they accepted her marriage and for the moment, that meant everything. She turned happily to Patrick.
"I think it's time you put this in its proper place." she said, taking off her necklace and handing it to him.
Patrick beamed with pride as he took the small diamond ring off the necklace chain and slid it onto Shelagh's finger for the second time.
"It must be something about this building." he teased.
"Must be." Shelagh smiled brightly back at him.
46 down, ONLY FOUR TO GO! Hope you enjoy!