Chapter 36: Incongruity

"Not as your lover, but as your friend."

The words were sour, and course, lacking any hint of sincerity; falling into the vacuum between them. Disheartened, Sofia turned away. "Uh, I… well let's just get going, okay? I've got a lot to fix."

"Indeed, the understatement of this epoch. But do wait here for a moment. Best not to have you strut about the castle in your knickers, especially considering where you're supposed to have been all this time."

Sofia turned abruptly, "What do you mean 'all this time?' it's only been…" POOF. He was gone. "A day… Maybe two? Cedric?"

Mystified, Sofia collected her bearings and exited his bedchambers. She was less than properly attired to go wandering through the halls, a behavior that would undoubtedly result in uncomfortable explanations that were not the main priority at hand. Fixing Scarlett's wake.

His workshop had been reassembled as she slept. No longer were books and colanders floating about the room in ordered columns. There was a small pile of broken vials tucked into a corner, probable victims of the tussle with Scarlett, but otherwise his workshop seemed as it always had, save for the scattered reams of parchment upon his tabletop. Reminiscing on the many hundreds of times she'd bounded up his stairs, eager for an afternoon session of magic and mayhem he so specialized in, her fingers ran along the fine wood grain of the bench. Every spilled beaker, every backfired spell. All this time he'd been harboring the deepest of demons, completely unbeknownst to her.

Anne.

Was she beautiful? Assuredly. Most likely on par with the goddesses of old. After all, Amber was absolutely stunning, so thin and tall, with long golden hair reminiscent of the finest silk. Her divine beauty had to descend from somewhere. There was no way a short, slightly chubby brunette like Sofia could ever compare to the memory of such a wonder of the world, was there? But he'd seemed to still be persuading her to love him, the finality of his comment about downgrading their relationship stinging them both.

Perhaps she wasn't as beautiful as Anne, but maybe she was pretty 'enough'.

The thought left her mired in misery, desperate for any distraction that wasn't sucking in her stomach or shifting around uncomfortably in her nightgown to find the most flattering angle.

Who was she kidding? He'd seen her half dead and broken sprawled on the floor. There was no way to appear attractive after that, was there?

The wandering fingers banked up against the stack of parchment, and upon it was new magic.

Or at least, what she initially assumed it was. Several lines of structured verse, with multiple strikethroughs and revisions scattered along his workbench. It all rhymed, or at last tried to, the topics fluctuating between adoration, devotion, redemption and time. Several drafts downward into the stack were the simple words atop the page that stopped her heart. The only thing not subject to several rounds of editing.

'Sofia's wedding song'

Splotches abounded upon the pages, as if his quill had hovered there, dripping ink while the sorcerer was lost in thought. The sleepless nights he'd spent alone while she was off came to mind, as did the mornings he'd awoken before her. All this effort was to please her, to convey her meaning to his life. He did indeed care, but then, was it all to 'win' her? To relive some fantasy and fix broken dreams? She wanted it to be genuine, but want and reality are two entirely different animals.

POOF. Green smoke wafted in from behind the red curtains, and upon turning Cedric had emerged in a frantic sprint from his bedchamber, halting when he laid eyes on her in the workshop. As he stood there, sudden waves of relief washed over Sofia, bringing forth the realization that she'd been anxious while he was gone. The pain of their conversation still raw, his proximity was the only thing that tempered it. In his absence this growing internal confliction reared its ugly head. This would need addressing, but it was within herself that the answers lay. The fancy deep purple ensemble of the Villager's ball in his hands, he stood there shyly, offering her up the ensemble and only upon her hesitation did he realize where her hands had busied themselves to distract her mind in his absence.

"No! You mustn't!" He'd flung forward, forcefully yanking the stacks out from her hands. As they were pulled from her it was as if the very feelings those words represented were yanked away as well.

"But I… wasn't that for me? Don't you… mean those things?" It was a timid deliverance, which resulted in both bodies cringing in the morning light.

He'd pulled the stack behind himself in a defensive posture, shoving the fetched dress between them. "Those words are for the l-l-lover I wished to m-m-marry, but you 'don't know' what I am to you, wasn't that what you said? Allow me to maintain some dignity in all this, won't you?"

"Oh."

She'd stared at the floor, and unable to formulate an answer on what the labels of their relationship were anymore she let the conversation hang in midair without conclusion. Taking the dress into her hands she pulled it tight to her chest, as if somehow it would magically assemble itself on her, and now the very real conundrum she found herself in took hold.

He was used to watching her change, to seeing her as nature made her, and perhaps as a matter of habituation he was still standing there, staring at her, probably waiting for a more meaningful response than 'oh'.

When none came the reaction was swift, and thoroughly wrenching. He cowered away from her, tossing the parchments onto an unimportant shelf as if they were scraps to be discarded later, and initiating self-soothing behaviors, rocking back and forth slightly while rubbing his upper arms with his hands.

Lightly she set the dress upon the tabletop, then slowly she reached for the hem of her nightgown. "I need to change now, is that okay?"

"Of all the insufferable, yes of course it's okay! I very well wouldn't have hand delivered your confounded coverings if it wasn't, now would I have, hmmmm?"

"I… okay." He was masking himself in defensive cynicism, to mitigate the supposed loss of her feelings. She started to draw her hem up but he was too buried in his own internal strife to note it. "It's not that I don't care, I care so much Cedric, it's just, I'm confused."

"Well isn't that just peachy. Can I be confused next? When is it my turn to have the world wait on my every whim while I fetter out all the scenarios? I…" He'd finally pulled his head out of his arms enough to realize the implication, that her nightgown had been pulled over her head and was now being set alongside the dress on the table adjacent.

He immediately pivoted, planting his face into the bookcase nearest where he stood.

First layers assembled, she couldn't shake that he didn't want to look. Perhaps, it wasn't that great of a view after all? She was rather curvy in various places after all, much curvier than Amber, which meant...

On some level she knew the insecurity was ridiculous, and he was desperately trying to maintain their fuzzy boundaries, but still. It hurt.

Oh, why did Anne have to linger in her mind now? And just how much of Anne had had Cedric become familiar with?

Baileywick had mentioned the former Queen had been expecting when she died, and their earlier conversation hadn't resolved that lingering question in her mind. She told herself it was unfounded, that it couldn't be true… but was it?

"Um… Cedric, you don't have to answer this, but… did you… touch her?"

The only response was a deep exhale. Sofia was facing the wall, and couldn't see his reaction, but heard the shuffling of feet as she pulled the purple top layer over her shoulders and began fiddling with the corset. For some reason the thing wouldn't lace. Again and again she tried, she'd been doing it for so long now the arm contortion had become routine, but now the thin laces behaved as if they were rope being strung through a needle's eye. Timidly she reiterated her question, the words barely squeaking out of her.

"D-Did you?"

Soft whispers were upon her ear, and the very real presence of him behind her, close enough to brush against now that she was clothed. "I didn't mean to be harsh with you just now, this whole situation has me on edge. You must know I… want very much, what you may never give me now. You do understand, don't you?"

Fretfully she gave him a subtle nod, "I understand. I didn't say never, just that I feel so… so… Did you touch her? I need to know."

He snickered. "I thought it was my choice to speak on it?" An involuntary convulsion happened, and not sure why it was happening she bucked over at the waist. Hands were quickly on her shoulders, steadying her, "Be still. You're shaking, but you needn't be afraid of my answer. I made a vow to myself long ago never to touch a woman who wasn't my wife. The consequences can be… dire." He'd retreated his arms now that the shaking stopped, and begun to assist with the laces.

"But…"

"Ugh, YES I kissed you Sofia, within my tower and before the conjuring of that copy as I understand it, and the repeats of which were only done because of past acceptance."

"But…"

"Oooh, YES alright FINE, I did let you, well your copy, embrace me in a thoroughly unacceptable manner, but then I never touched you, er… her, in kind. There, are you satisfied with my admission YET?"

"But then… why did you make that vow? Was it… because of Anne." At the mention of the former Queen his breathing went erratic. After a set of frantic glances around the workshop he pulled the knot at the bottom of her corset tight, and perhaps without thought settled his hands on the sides of her hips.

"I suppose you could say that. I already told you of her behaviors."

She barely heard his answer, despite his lips upon her ear. Words were streaming out of him, and it took a few seconds for them to refocus in her mind, having been sent reeling by his confirmation. "Try to understand, in order to relinquish that part of myself, expose myself in such a manner as to give away all control, I simply cannot do it until I'm absolutely sure that it is, indeed, l-l-l-love, and yes, perhaps it is fear that motivates this in me. That, despite giving every inch of me, you might still… leave."

"Please don't… fear me."

He actually chuckled at her response. She could feel him sucking in the air, the bounce of his chest as he was pressed against her back, his hands still on her hips. "It's not you I fear dearest, but the decisions you might make if you come to your senses and realize what I am. I'm… n-n-not a good man Sofia. I try to be, I know you know I try so incredibly hard to be, but I'm simply… not. Between the both of us I'd assume you'd be the one fearful of me, after what I've told you today."

Wow. Now that he'd suggested it, the uneasiness started to make sense. More tangible than she cared to admit. The silence again hung in the air, and the slight chuckle dissipated, replaced by his halted breaths. "Oh. I see. You do fear me then?" She began shaking her head back and forth to stop him, but he continued on anyway, "I don't particularly blame you for it Sofia. In my darkest moments I even… fear myself. The demons within me, sometimes they shout so very loud."

His head dropped lower, the blistering sarcasm of a few minutes prior completely evaporated. "But then there's you, and I know it's silly and selfish to no end, but I try to imagine what you'll think of me in those moments. To provide me with some sanity, one might call it guidance even."

She wished she could return the affectionate complement. "Thank you. For the laces, and for being honest with me."

She was hunched over slightly leaning against the potions table with him still banked up behind her. He was leaning over her shoulder a bit, obviously upset at the way the truth had revealed itself. "I don't know what to call us, what this is, but I know that I want you to stay with me. Is that okay? Or is it selfish?" She managed to turn slightly, finally able to see hits of his expression, and to her relief that warm glow had crept up the sides of his face.

"Perhaps it is, but it's a selfishness I share. Of course I'll accompany you. I've never had a say in the matter, ever since you were small." Relieved, she shifted her side into him, letting her hand rest upon his chest quite near where her head had buried itself. While she was busy coming closer one of his arms found its way around her waist in something similar to an embrace. It wasn't quite platonic, but neither was it romantic. After all, she wasn't holding him in return, but there was a mutual comfort there. The cord that connected them seemed frayed, but intact. "But I'll bring my wand, and an escape plan, as this is assured to go poorly."

"Mr. Cedric, you're so silly. Come on, let's go."

That soft hand of his had moved from her waist and was now caressing her back in small circles, "Just a moment. Aren't we forgetting something?" with a deep sigh he took a step sideways, retreating from her to open the top drawer of his potions table, extracting from it one Amulet. Affixed to it was a reformed chain, the entire thing restored to immaculate condition.

"Oh thank you! Thank you!" Without thought she pulled her hair back, exposing the nape of her neck. Returning to her side, his breath upon her skin tickled ever so softly, and the faintest of giggles escaped her lips, relaxing the man further. It was slowly strung back into the appropriate place, him struggling a bit with the clasp. "Indeed, it needed a bit of my marvelous magic but is otherwise unharmed." Clasp rehinged, he ran a thumb along the chain, sending chills of longing down her spine. "Sofia, if you're about to storm off into untold terrors you should know what everyone assumes you've been up to this past week."

"Week?! it's only been a day! Maybe two." Turning away, the sudden evasiveness probably meant a lie was brewing in that conniving mind of his. Not this time. "Cedric, what's going on? Where did you tell everyone I was? Honesty is the best policy, remember."

"Ahhh yes well, in this particular instance it wasn't too much of a stretch. Eh." He'd retracted into a defensive posture.

"Oooooh Cedric."

"Now now, you mustn't anger. I only relayed that, perhaps your mind may have split in half, causing you to wage war within yourself, and all this meant you were in desperate need of healing. They think you've been whisked away for some specialized sessions in the far south to mend your mind." He'd retreated a few steps now to brace for the inevitable impact. "Now listen here, n-n-nothing about that is particularly false! You did, in fact, do battle with your reflection and well, I needed time alone to heal you, and I couldn't very well tell them you were lying half-dead and disheveled in my bed linens, now could I?!"

Great. Just one more lie that needed expunging.

But where to start? Sofia found herself subconsciously stroking the amulet, its return almost forgotten in the emotional wreckage since her release.

The plan had been to harness its awesome power to end the war… but how? It's not like being all-powerful was going to make everything return to normalcy. What exactly was the Amulet supposed to fix? Grow enormous and stomp around until everybody stopped to listen to her? It sounded ridiculous now that she was putting actual thought into the ramifications of her decisions.

"One is the, loneliest number."

That singsong wasn't coming from Cedric. Wormwood was nearby, but where exactly?

Glancing around she saw the saddened bird. He was in the windowsill, occupying half a nest. Uncharacteristically, he was sprawled out in a most undignified way, wings extended and head flopped over. A quick pat of acknowledgement to Cedric's shoulder, like a placeholder, and she was over to the raven. "Hi Wormwood." The bird didn't move. He was looking off into the distance and singing more depressing lyrics to some song slowly. She rarely touched Cedric's familiar, but he too was suffering greatly. So instead she bent down to be eye-level with the bird. "I wanted to thank you for helping expose my copy. You were amazing."

"I didn't do it for you Princess." Still he refused to turn. Sofia extended a hand to pet him, but thought better of it and instead rested her head along the windowsill. Cedric had come up behind her and, upon seeing her feign stroking the raven took it up himself. It was better that way. Cedric glided his thumb and two fingertips down familiar grooves in the raven's back, the work of a practiced hand. That brought Wormwood back around, and the raven turned to face Sofia. "I did it for him. You have no idea how you've hurt him, do you Princess?"

She looked up at the thin man now settling alongside them on the windowsill. "I have an idea. I know it was wrong Wormwood. Cedric and I spoke about it, so please don't be angry with me."

"I'll be angry with you long after Cedric pushes the hurt down and fakes his ambivalence about it. After all, you sent her away."

With that he turned, staring off into the distance once more. Cedric's knee ended up near Sofia's face as he stroked his lifelong companion. She couldn't help but lean against his knobby joint and close her eyes, taking in the strife the bird emoted. "I promise, the next time I see my Phoenix I'll send her here, to you. Okay?"

"So he is suffering from a broken heart then, as I suspected." Cedric's eyes and full attentions were on the bird. "I owe you apologies too Wormy, for having created her. It seems we were always meant to commiserate, in all things."

It was all so incredibly sad. He was hurting just as much as Wormwood, perhaps more so, but trying in earnest not to show it. She really shouldn't have. After all, she was the one uncomfortable with this, now that the truths had come out, Anne's fate paramount among them, but still, her head was already against his leg. Arms wrapped around his knee, squeezing him tightly. She felt his whole body stiffen but refused to let go until the tension subsided. It finally did so as the hand not caressing Wormwood set down in her hair, stroking the star pin.

"It's still in your hair." She tilted upward to meet his gaze. Almost half a smile was there. "There's still a chance for me."

She almost smiled back, but couldn't. For there on the windowsill, beyond the ledge his thin seat occupied, the planter box hung. Within that, those vermillion blossoms still grew. Haunting her, taunting her. She suddenly felt guilty, as if his former love's spirit was glaring down at her from those flowers, reproachful that she was holding him in such a way.

Shying away from the flowers stern gaze, she focused on the Amulet once more.

Was magic a blessing or a curse? Just as the Amulet had the power to bequeath both, it seemed like the magical arts was both Cedric's source of pride, being the manner in which Cedric defined himself as a person, while simultaneously it was his greatest hindrance, like a lead weight buoying him to the past.

Would dousing the Amulet in some magical cocktail suddenly make it all go away? To every action there is a reaction, just as Aunt Tilly had proclaimed, and the Amulet wasn't the root of all this. It was but one of a string of temporary salves diverting her attentions from the real culprit.

The truth.

That settled, she rose and was off, Cedric trailing behind her. "S-S-S-Sofia wait, WAIT!" Her wrist was grabbed, halting her advancement. "Just what do you intend to do Sofia. Sofia?!"

"Tell the truth Cedric." The man gulped heavily and started shaking, "The pure, unadulterated truth."

"Errr… what was that now? You don't mean the whole of the truth do you?! Because I'm certain that's a stupendously bad idea."

"No Cedric. I should have told you and Rolland about the prisoners before this ever started, the only way to stop this is to finally come clean."

B-B-But Sofia you can't! It's too dangerous. The man will never listen." Determination gripped her, and holding steadfast against Cedric's protestations the march toward Rolland and near certain doom ensued. She expected to stomp straight into his office, find her stepfather hunched over his desk attending to matters of state, and deliver the world shattering news.

Instead, she found locked doors, with two guards stationed outside. They snapped to attention as Sofia approached, Cedric fitful and mere steps behind her.

"Please stand aside and let me see my father the King. He needs to hear what I have to say."

"We're sorry Princess, but no one save for your brother is to enter his Majesty's study." The elder guard on the right had addressed her, as the one on the left whispered, "Psst."

It was Westin. He smiled briefly at the princess, then sunk inward as Cedric pulled around her and began to glare at the young man. The older guard however, breached a gigantic smile, as if imbued with a secret, illicit knowledge.

Gossip travels fast in the castle after all. The elder guard jigged Westin slightly with his bayonet, then tilted his head toward the side ever so slightly at the adjoining antechamber. "Take five with your boyfriend Wes, I've got it covered here."

The growl Cedric made at the mention of 'boyfriend' made the hairs on Sofia's neck stand on end. Westin cringed, but Cedric's persona as the grumpiest sorcerer to ever wave a wand preceded him, and the elder guard took it in jest, chuckling loudly. Eager to hear of the happenings in Friezenburg she pulled Cedric's arm toward the adjoining room, with Westin right behind them.

Once the door clicked shut the metaphorical gloves were off. "Of all the insufferable! I suppose the entire kingdom thinks I'm letting you bend me over the potions table now, don't they!? Will the complete and utter humiliation never end?!"

"Uh, Hi Cedric." Sheepishly Westin stood at the entrance. "Princess, I'm so glad to see you up and about. Are you… better now?"

"I was fine before Wes."

"You most certainly were not FINE without my magical assistance." Cedric snorted.

"Sorry Cedric. He's right Westin, I conjured that 'Scarlett' copy of myself again to smuggle Lucinda and the others out of the castle, but when I came back she imprisoned me in my Amulet. Cedric freed me, and he's been healing me for the past, um, week or so."

The young man let go a great exhale, "Oh man, you have no idea how happy I am to hear that cou-Uh, Princess Sofia.

Cedric's arms slammed against his sides, "What a complete idiot he takes me for! As if I hadn't already guessed at the deviousness going on around here. You needn't spew your deceptions at me young man, I know all about you."

"Cedric please calm down okay?! Don't worry Wes." She set a hand on her cousin's shoulder while Cedric mumbled curses under his breath on the opposite side of the small room. "I told Cedric everything."

"Uh, everything everything?"

"Everything."

The man raised his gaze to the sorcerer. "I, uh, I'm glad she decided to tell you about the war. You're not gonna turn us in, are you Cedric?"

"Us. US… US! Oooh!" Cedric's head looked about to explode. "There is no US when you refer to my-er, Princess Sofia. She isn't yours! You and your whole lot have been dragging her into danger! I should expose you for what you really are, cast you into the courtyard and let Rolland have his way with you!"

Westin was beside himself. The poor guy, taking this venomous beating from the man he so admired, even loved. Desperate to placate the rage Cedric espoused, Westin pleaded with the vehement sorcerer. "It wasn't like that! Tell him Sofia! She wasn't supposed to come back to Friezenburg when the fighting broke out! That's why I came here, to be the conduit for information so she could stay safe. Our fathers, they forced me to do it when I wanted to help fight… Why do they treat us like children? I can fight!"

Poor Westin slumped into a nearby seat as Cedric glared at Sofia from across the room. "Is this true Sofia?! That you've been putting yourself in danger when even the forsaken Freizenburgers told you not to?"

"Yes."

Declaring it straight out took some of the wind out of Cedric's disgruntled sails. "Of course I did. I know that my Papa wanted me to stay here, but how could I just abandon him and the people who are suffering? If I would have hidden myself here I would have been as complicit in this travesty as King Aaron, or even Rolland. I could never look at myself in the mirror again if I did that."

Cedric, however, was having none of it. "But you would be alive Sofia, living people make much better advocates of policy change than the dead."

"He sounds just like my Dad did while he was screaming at me." Westin was almost laughing at himself. "You really do care about her, don't you?"

"Indeed, much more than you and your sorry lot. Therefore you and your war need to—"

"Wait!" Sofia flung her hand up to stop Cedric's next tirade. "Please, I know you're angry at Westin, but I really need to know what's happening. So if you want to stay here then please let me talk to him without shouting Cedric." The long exhale that sorcerer made caused him to shrink three inches, straight into his calloused stance. Foot tapping and squinted eyes aside, he did adopt silence. "Thanks." He only grumbled, not at all happy about the reprimand.

"Okay Wes, what happened to Axel? Is he okay? Were you able to get there in time?" He nodded, and a weight lifted off Sofia's shoulders.

"Yeah. He was actually in Friezenburg when I came to warn him. He was… fighting with Lucinda about what happened at the Villager's ball." Shocked, Sofia clasped a hand over her mouth while Westin looked forlornly at the upset sorcerer. "Yeah, Axel couldn't believe Lucinda would try and hurt his father, and well, now they aren't speaking."

Worried, Sofia took a brief moment to collect herself. At least the crowned prince of Maldonia was still alive, and not in chains or worse. Relationships can be mended, right? Not that she was an expert, considering the grey space she now occupied with Cedric.

"What about Rolland? What's been going on while Cedric and I were locked up in his tower?"

The saddened guard kept glancing over at Cedric, who had pivoted to the nearby windowsill, sinking his hands into it in what appeared to be a coping mechanism designed to keep himself from ending the conversation in a hail of magical curses.

Slowly her cousin spoke. "The king, I'm not quite sure what's wrong with him. I overheard old Baileywick say that King Rolland and Queen Miranda had a pretty intense discussion about their children, you and Prince James in particular. Something about marriages and succession, and that the Queen had gone to Leidleville against his wishes, and now your stepfather is locked up in his study, and nothing but your brother and apologies are supposed to enter."

Sinking her head into her hands, Sofia pressed heavily to rub the tension out of her face. Her mother had made a valiant effort on James's behalf, but had come up short, and Rolland was thoroughly, unequivocally alone now.

"This is all my fault. Well my copy's fault. She created a situation that pitted my brother against Rolland, and now everyone is angry. I've got to fix it."

"How Sofia?"

"Well…I have to be honest, with everyone. They either forgive me or they don't, but I have to come clean, and if the only way to get to Rolland is by making amends with James first, then I'm going to get James in Leidleville and bring him back here."

Her cousin began to shake his head, "I dunno Sofia, that sounds dangerous. I get that you should try to make amends with your brother, but isn't there some other way than telling everyone about 'the mystery mage'."

"No."

"Ooooh that is it! I cannot believe I'm agreeing with the whelp but he is right Sofia! Can you even stop for a minute to think this through! The king has signed an international agreement to have your alternate persona beheaded. You cannot simply blurt these things out and expect everything to simply resolve itself in the end!"

So much for Cedric the Silent.

"But I need to be honest, and that starts with apologizing to James." She stood, swaying as gracefully as she could toward the sorcerer by the windowsill. "Please don't worry Cedric. I'll be okay." A soft stroke to his cheek and gentle smile, and he relaxed in a way she hadn't managed since their cuddle in the tower. Almost imperceptibly his head sank towards her fingers to take in fully the feeling of her gliding her hand across his soft skin.

The sorcerer was now softly whispering in her ear. "But what if he doesn't listen? You're gambling with your very life Sofia, and even if by some impossible convergence of miraculous luck Rolland pardons you against the very wrath of nations, there will still be fighting in Friezenburg."

An even softer, wider smile came from her as she shifted closer to the anxious sorcerer. "It's okay. At the rate Papa has been liberating Friezenburg the whole country will be free soon, if it's not already. Then we'll need Rolland to know the entire truth so that he, and Enchancia, can stand together with them against Victor."

Cedric scoffed rather loudly to match her tone. "Ever the eternal optimist, aren't we dear? Your rosy outlook is three parts charming, two parts infuriating all at once."

"Thanks."

Lost in their own little world, it took Sofia a bit to realize just how uncomfortable Westin was. When she finally did a little bit of shame crept up in her. After all, it was her fault her cousin's feelings had been bruised. "Wes, are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah, but he's right. The fighting won't end."

"But the war's almost won, right?"

The man stood abruptly, "I should really get back to my station now."

"Wait Wes, what are you hiding?"

That awkward shake was something she'd seen many do in their time, the desperate attempt of an honest man to hide the truth. "I… can't tell you Sofia."

"What can't you tell me? The lies are hurting everyone, I see that now." Stepping forward, letting go of Cedric she took her cousin's hands in her own. "Wes listen to me. Being trapped and helpless watching the havoc my copy wrought was terrible, but it showed me where all the lies can lead. I need to know the truth, all of it."

Intractable, Wes excused himself. "It's about the war, isn't it?" He'd been straightening his jacket to return to duty, but groaned at the comment.

"Let it go Sofia. It's like you said, your brother needs help. Please don't make me tell you what's..." Westin shook a bit, then turned towards the door. After a brief hesitation he did look back over his shoulder. "Again, I'm so sorry I misread you Sir. I never meant to embarrass you publicly."

Cedric snorted with derision, but Sofia was realizing why Westin was so reticent.

"They're loosing."

It halted her cousin immediately, and Sofia knew. "They're not able to get information from Axel anymore, and I haven't been back to help in a week. My papa, and the others, the war isn't going well, is it Wes?" Hands clenched, she marched toward her cousin. "IS IT WES! Please answer me!"

Angry, he stomped, "No of course it's NOT! Axel can't provide information on Maldonian troop positions anymore, Victor and the witches haven't been back because they're winning and don't need Rolland's help right now so I'm just sitting here, and it's just too much for Lucinda to handle alone. They've lost Radiwan, and half of the central province while you were sleeping." Sofia gasped as the unbridled fury she'd never seen upon her unflappable cousin blistered. "I'm so, so SO ANGRY! What's the point of me just waiting around for some information that may never come! Why is my dad being so incredibly stubborn about keeping me here!"

The anger subsided once Sofia set a hand on his shoulder. "Hey, something's telling me I'm not the only one you shouted that at."

"My Dad Sofia, he just wouldn't listen to reason. I'm young and strong and I even know a little magic! I can help. He's being SO unreasonable."

"You're also naïve and particularly stupid if you think half a day of learning magical parlor tricks will do you justice on a battlefield." Cedric's biting comment had both the younger occupants of the room staring at him. Sofia began shaking her head, how could be so callous? That was it; Cedric's composure was gone once more. "He's as willful and headstrong as you are! Charging off into a warzone, of all the insufferable nonsense! There's a reason people avoid these things at all costs, those who fight may never come back. I don't particularly care what happens to you whelp, but at least your fathers seem to have a sense of the reality you two both seem so keen on denying exits."

"How can you say that Cedric! The people are suffering!"

"Because it's true Sofia. If you took a minute to reflect you'd see that I am unequivocally right. "

Westin stopped her before she could continue. "He really does sound just like our old Dads, I guess you were right about not telling him because he'd try to stop you."

Eyes bulged in anger from the sorcerer's face. "In case you haven't noticed the vast majority of those who perish in war are the young, idealistic and daresay naive, for the very reasons you are displaying here." Cedric's arms were flailing now, "You think yourselves immortal! It's a peril of youth, and yes I AM OLDER, thank you ever so much for pointing it out, but then I've managed to survive these many years so perhaps you should listen."

Cold, and perhaps trying a bit too hard to not become enraged, Sofia stifled the growing anger but couldn't stop the words. "All I hear right now is that you don't care about the suffering in Friezenburg, and that I'm too young and naïve to think critically."

She was standing next to Westin, across the room from Cedric. Immediately his arms were down, while frantic glances were cast by him about the room, "No dearest, it's nothing like that. It's simply that you're more important than this war. Why do you think I've tried so very hard all this time to keep you here?"

"To control me."

"No, no." He was stepping closer to her, arms outstretched as if he might catch one of her hands in his own. "To protect you from what's out there. The world, in many ways, is a wicked place that would do you harm. Can you simply not see it? This 'Papa' of yours sees it too apparently. Won't you listen, to either of us?"

He did, in fact, manage to catch her hand, and once he did a great deal of the anger subsided, but the tension was very real. The fragile truce of earlier wasn't exactly rock solid yet, and the differences of opinion were quite cataclysmic.

"I, uh, I better go. See you when you get back from Leidleville Sofia."

She nodded, and as Westin turned to exit she felt compelled to offer him some comforting words. The man had had a painful fight with his father, was obviously aware Cedric wasn't reciprocating his romantic overtures, not to mention his country was in imminent peril.

"Don't worry Wes, I'm sure this will all be over soon and everyone will be free. Then we can go back to Friezenburg together and you can reconcile with your Dad."

It seemed to work, and a small smile graced the guard as he returned to duty. Cedric was standing behind her, looking at the man depart over her shoulder. "Whatever compelled you to lie to the man like that Sofia?"

"It wasn't a lie, I am going to end this war."

Arms were immediately wrapped around her shoulders. Startling, since she'd had her back to him. "But none of these plans involve marrying that Maldonian prince, right?"

"No, they don't. First I need to bring James home."

… … …

The coach ride was awkward, to say the least. The spat they'd had in front of Westin had driven yet another division in their relationship. They were seated along the back wall of the covered coach with an empty seat between them, staring out opposite windows to avoid revisiting that ugliness in Rolland's antechamber.

Halfway there, and Sofia couldn't stomach the loneliness any longer. "You're going to blame Westin for that, aren't you?"

"Of course I am! He was under obligations of oath not to divulge the war's standing to you but NO, he just had to tug upon your heartstrings and—"

"Cedric stop. It wasn't his fault."

Both occupants of the coach exhaled deeply, and looked away once more. She just didn't know how to fix this. To make it right between them. They'd always found a common ground before, but what had it been rooted in? The love of magic, sure, but there had to be something deeper, something rock solid that their relationship was built on, something they could return to in this time of relationship crisis.

What was it?

It couldn't be his decency, how could she label him as such when he'd admitted to making an attempt on Rolland's life.

Before all this, gnawing at the edges of her reasoning, was the Amulet incident long ago. It had seemed so easy to move on after that. Was it because she felt privileged in some way? As if, she held power over him which made it easy to forgive his transgressions. Like a misbehaving pet? That thought sent unpleasant shivers down her spine. Was power over him the true foundation of their relationship? He'd always given into her whims, even when she was a tiny child he couldn't possibly have any romantic inclinations toward.

He'd been lonely, and she his only friend. It did give her a certain power, didn't it?

If it was power over him, it made her fell nauseous. There had to be something better, something deeper. A common connection they shared. After all, he was a good person.

Wait.

Was he?

He was a person, yes he was flawed, and yes he'd made bad choices, but did that make him a bad person. Did it? A good person can make bad choices after all. What then qualified someone as a bad person?

She had to desperately remind herself that he'd chosen the good, and her, over Scarlett and wickedness. With the faltering of their romantic relationship and no secrets left to guard, Cedric was unabashedly expressing his disdain for the war, royalty, and everything else he hated in this world. It was a lot of negativity to take in all at once. Maybe that was all it was. A deeply repressed need to vent it all, perhaps a catharsis of sorts. Surely once he got all of his true, unvarnished opinions out it wouldn't be so contentious, and then the healing could begin.

She looked over at him once more, and the man had retreated inward, sadly leaning his head against the covered coach's window, looking mournfully at the passing ground below. More time passed in silence, her stomach churning from the distance between them the whole while, as looking out the coach window did little to calm the storms inside.

"I s-s-shan't mrmrmrmrrr."

What? She turned back from the window to see him, his hands gripping at his knees and head tilted downward in much the same way he had on their coach ride back from the failed tournament at Hexley Hall. Once again he was using his bangs to obscure his glances, but she was assuredly caught in the corner of his eye.

"I'm sorry Cedric, I didn't hear you just now?" She turned in her seat to face him, concern overwhelming the differences momentarily.

His hands trailed up over his robe and lodged in his hair. Bent over at the waist, he looked as if he'd been stabbed in the stomach.

"I shan't let go Sofia. I need you. Even if you won't listen, even if my opinions cease to matter as they once did, I shan't…. I can't…"

He was loosing it. Her arms were around him before she realized she'd reacted, his head extracted from his knees and planted squarely against her chest. Taking to rubbing her hands through his hair he calmed considerably.

"Hey there, Cedric it's okay. I'm right here with you and… I have been listening to you, I just disagree with some of it, but people can disagree and still… care deeply about each other, you know what I mean."

There were a few muted sniffles, intensifying her sympathy.
"Oh Cedric I understand you're worried about me, and that the danger is real. It wasn't that trusted Westin more than you. Lucinda was there with me the night I freed my Papa, and well, Westin was the first prisoner I set free. He already knew. They both did. So, it wasn't like I told him and not you, understand?" To that he nodded, the side of his head trailing across her bosom as he did so. Relieved, she reciprocated by performing long, soothing and mainly gentle strokes along the knobs of his spine. "There was no one I wanted to tell about 'the mystery mage' more than you. I started to tell you when my ankle was burnt, but you thought I was running off to flirt with a boy, and well, it didn't go well. Axel only found out because we ran into him while liberating a prison, and Carol of the Arrow showed up in the middle of a battle."

He took it all in, nodding on occasion. She knew, on a deeper, interpersonal level that this had wounded him to the core, and she needed to provide some level of support lest he break. After all, she would do that for any of her friends, and he was so much more than that.

"S-S-Sofia?"

"Yes?"

When she'd pulled his head into her chest his arms trailed behind. They now lay clasped together in between his legs. "Is… is it a-a-a-alright for me to h-h-h-hold you as well?"

No words were needed. She took one of his arms and guided it around behind her. Invitation accepted, the rest of the coach ride was spent in tentative peace, wrapped in a strange embrace that reminded her of the coach ride back from Leidleville when he'd saved her from the caves. She chose to focus on that moment rather than the deflected fighting earlier. Back then he seemed to be the pinnacle of good in this world. Sinking down farther upon the seat, her nose wound its way in his hair, as small innocent caresses were granted to each other's sides.

Somehow, things just had to work out. With all her willpower she would make it so.