A/N- So this has been getting some love lately, I like! Thank you, guys!
I tried my best to end the day with on an interesting note...
CHAPTER 51
Day 74: Part 7
Following our little detour to pay Wes a well-needed visit, we found ourselves just driving around in pure silence. Correction: FI ND ourselves driving around in silence. Feels like the first time we shared a car…back when we were 'strangers' and I assumed that he was gonna rape me and ditch me.
Eyeing the shit that tells one how much gas is left, sorry I am no goddamn car enthusiast, it says that we're a quarter of the way to being completely out of gas. Mr. Wrestler next to me appears to be out of it. Figuring that it's a rather good way to rid the air of awkwardness, "Um…Phil?", he grunts, "We're almost out of gas…"
"Yeah, I know.", he replies
Furrowing my brows, "Okay? Then shouldn't we be heading towards a gas station?"
He bobs his head lazily, "I should…BUT I'm already en route to DiNolfo's."
My heart stops functioning for a millisecond when it comes back, I can almost feel it beating in an uncontrolled, rapid tempo, "WHY?"
"You want to let go don't ya'?", he asks as if this is right. As if I won't have heart failure right now.
My skin clams up and I urgently need to get out of the vehicle, "I-I CAN'T…I talked to hi-him already…PHIL WE, WE CAN'T—"
Visions of that night latch onto my brain like parasites. All emotions felt return to me, the most prevalent: fear. The bastard's voice invades my ears as if he's whispering in my ear. Rhythmic thumps of that cold gun against my forehead I can feel. Screams and shrills erupting from Micks's desperate throat resound in my ears. The distinct sound of bullets firing send me over the edge of my sanity. Dominick's voice comes on repeat as I see Wesley go down with a bullet straight through his cranium, his eyes glassy without signs of life as his mouth streams blood, "Marleene…Marleene…Marleene...DOLLFACE WAKE UP! WAKE UP!", my eyes drift open and Punk comes in my line of sight, "Gave me the fright of my life, thank you very much.", he says exhaling
Making to get up, my head throbs, "What the hell?", I mumble feeling a bit disoriented, "What happened?"
"You knocked out cold on me, that's what happened."
Closing my eyes, "Fucking tool! You mentioned DiNolfo's and going there and—"
"We're kind of already there, beautiful."
My eyes crack open, "What'd you say?", crazy-eyed and all I observe the scene and we definitely are. My body shakes and trembles on the spot and I fumble around trying to undo the seatbelt.
"What are you doing? Calm down, you barely rega—"
Growling dangerously, "LEAVE ME BE…I'M GETTING THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!", fumbling around some more and I finally disengage the God forsaken shit thing. As I attempt to slide over to the driver's seat, Phil holds me back, "LET. ME. GO.", I demand in a tone that not only should scare Phil but me also. Noah's laugh resonates in my head and I cringe, "WE NEED TO GO!", I shrill
"Mar, look at me.", he demands calmly.
Shaking my head furiously, "He-he's gonna kill us…", whispers
"This is why we're here. You need to let go of that fear. This is the last place he stood."
"Please, Phil…", I mutter breathlessly
"C'mon. I won't let anybody hurt you. I swear on anything.", he says tenderly
"I-I'm scared. Wes-Wes he died…I-I was there…Noah he…Phil, please."
"Doll, please…do it for Eli…for yourself. You need this."
Seeing that we won't be leaving anytime soon, I give up my fight. Reluctantly I let go of the seat and timidly slide out of the car. A few more steps and we will be in the scene of the crime. Where my life changed, forever. The very place Wesley took his last breaths. Where everything collided and paths of life were detoured and dead-ended and halted.
Inching closer and closer, my stomach was in my throat, "I can't do this."
"That's what you said with Wesley."
Another step and I stand in the exact place where Noah stood that fucking Christmas day. I hold onto Phil's hand as if it'd help any. The scene plays in my head over and over. Gravity brings me to my knees. The cold slush doesn't tear me away from my thoughts, "He did it so I'd move and catch them…", I whisper to nobody in particular, "They were for me…"
Punk crouches next to me, "If I would've move faster…reacted and not stayed in shock…", he too shares his perspective. I am not the only one left traumatized by the happenings.
Leaves rustle behind me and I tense up, "Phil…he's behind me.", I whisper desperately with my eyes shut tight, "Don't. Move."
Man holds my hand, "Nobody is behind you. Turn around, I promise."
"I-I heard him…I…I'm scared.", I say sobbing between breaths
Phil rubs my clammy hand, "I stand behind what I said. We're gonna be rooted in this very place 'till you're not scared anymore, beautiful."
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52 minutes. 52 minutes we sat there rooted in the same place 'till I got the nerve to look behind me and realize that it was just a figment of my imagination. Cold, cold as we were but we stayed. 52 minutes it took for me to let go of that fear and realize that though many things will potentially compromise my wellbeing, Noah and his slut won't ever be one of those things. At least for another 50 years or however long their sentences are. 52 minutes and though I feel stronger, braver for facing that fear, I don't feel any lighter. My heart throbs with this pain.
Dragging myself to Wesley's er…Cher's house, his roommate, I hold Phil's hand. Another day in a different life, this'd cause a great reaction but it's today in my life. Looking at our state of being, Cher will probably pity us for looking like we've been digging around in the dumps. Punk picks a leave from my frizzed up hair and I smile or at try to in return.
Knocking on the door, we silently wait for someone to answer the door. When nobody answers, I grumble and start dragging Phil back to our about-to-be dead vehicle not really wanting to take a chance of getting stuck in the middle of nowhere this late but then the door unlocks revealing Cher clad in a bath towel. Punk tries his best not to gawk but he's a man and quite frankly Cher is a fucking GODDESS. Even in my depressed state I can say that. Blowing my cover, I elbow Phil and silently reprimand him.
"Marley, girl, that you?", asks Cher quite surprised. I half-smile, "OH MY GOD!", she lunges into my arms and kisses my forehead repeatedly. As much as I love this, I don't and I'm hoping that purple-flower towel is still on her body, "PIERRE, THALIA, RAMSES…GUYS GET OVER HERE IT'S MARLEY!", Phil chuckles off to the side and I sigh internally but smile my best so they won't interrogate me, "Come in, Marley and…?"
"Punk.", replies Phil and Cher smiles giving him a onceover.
Ushering us inside, I already find my friends lingering in the livingroom with 'FRIENDS' going on and cases of booze and vodka littering the area. Phil looks at the scene with disgust but says nothing. Spotting me, the group drop what they're doing as well as what they're holding and gawk at me as if they've seen a ghost.
"Marleene, eres tu?", shrieks Thalia, "Dios…", she scrambles to me and hugs me. Once that's over she holds me at arms' length, "Como has estado…no he oido de ti en…anos."
Shyly, "Um, I've been hiding out…"
The boys come and stand on either side of Thalia, "Well if it ain't little Marley…", says Damian shooting me this lusty look. Punk kicks off the wall and holds me to him, "You must be the old boy, "Punk…I 'member you…", he says patronizingly
Phil smirks, "I'd like to say I remember you…but sadly, I just don't…", he shrugs as if he actually meant it.
"Pity.", replies Damian, "Well, I'll let ya'll catch up…Ima go and smoke this joint…", he winks at me as he passes by, I shiver.
"Disculpa, es un idiota cuando anda borracho el buey. Pero, bien venida al mundo de nuevo.", says a chipper Ramses
This is all too nice for my liking at the moment but not smiling would be a bitch move, "Thank you and I think the dude IS always an idiot.", they chuckle.
"So how have you guys been?", asks Cher bringing over a vodka bottle and shot cups, "I can't imagine how ya'll feel, I mean Wes was my room—the best one ever—but we weren't as close as you, Marley."
She hands me a vodka filled shot and I down it immediately, "Baby stepping it. One step at a time."
Cher offers Phil a shot and he refuses, "No thank you. I don't drink."
"He's a keeper, Mar.", she says with a chuckle
I almost choke on my next shot, "We aren't together…but Phil was one of Wesley's good friends too."
Ramses clears his throat, "How 'bout we sit down and continue this chat… maybe smoke something or—"
"I appreciate it, guys really BUT I'm not stable enough for talking. Today has been tough and I need to get out of these clothes. I dunno I just feel like a fucking depressing zombie and I-I…I would just like to see Wes's room, please.", I sigh out
Thalia smiles understandingly and drags Ramses away. Cher looks at her feet, "Sorry, love. Go ahead. Anything's yours."
"Thank you, cupcake.", I gaze at the vodka bottle and snatch it from her gasp, "Thanks.", and I drag Punk off and up the stairs.
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Before actually getting to my deceased bestfriend's room, we walk through the stretching hallway that displays pictures framed and pinned on the wall displaying many of his proudest moments. Moments like his first birthday, his first 'A', his mom giving him his first dog, graduating from elementary all the way to highschool, a picture of him and Dips in front of the parlor, his first tattoo, and one that catches my attention, a picture of Micks, himself, Phil, and me at prom.
My legs move no longer and I hover in front of the picture. Phil breathes on my neck making me shiver, "What's that?", I move away so he can have a better look.
"The last time my life ever seemed halfway normal…", I whisper. Phil stares at me and I keep on my way to Wesley's room taking gulps of vodka.
Wiggling the knob, the door opens leading us into the reserved world of Wesley. People say that they feel most at peace when in their rooms because there it's like there little escape…their own place. I guess that's Wesley's feel too. All along the walls are posters, tattoo designs, writing, and such. Clothes lay strewn all over the ground and his gaming chair almost as if he'd been here trying to find something this morning. Picking up one of his shirts and clutching it to my chest, I walk over to the hamper under his 'To-Do' whiteboard.
Dropping the shirt, I cover my mouth, I remove ultrasound pictures from it. On the board he had written '24 wks 'till I see my babygirl!'. My eyes water at this because he'll never actually get to hold her or tell her how much he loves her or…anything. Taking another long sip of the vodka, I walk over to his drawer and find condoms which I softly chuckle at, a pack of cigs, and a gold bracelet with 'Eleanor Grace' engraved.
"Drinking isn't gonna wash away the fact that he's gone or the pain that this brings, beautiful.", he say trying to remove the bottle from my grasp. All I do is nod until I feel my neck cramp and soundless tears drip down my cheeks. He drops the bottle and wipes my tears, "I know…I know…", he wraps me in his arms and that's when I unravel.
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After a couple of minutes, my sobs have resided and we just hold each other. Awkwardly clearing my throat, "Let's find something to wear, I feel nasty in these damp jeans.", I wiggle out of his arms and pick up a random longsleeve off the floor and begin to strip off my jeans.
Off to the side Phil coughs letting me know that I'm half naked…in front of him, "I'm just gonna…yeah."
He starts towards the door but I latch onto him, "Don't leave me along, numbnut…Damian is sick enough to walk in here…"
He chuckles, "You scared?"
I frown, "Very appropriate, Phillip.", I start pulling of my borrowed tee, "You mind?"
The man leans against Wesley's drawer, "Nope, not really…I'm enjoying the view.", he says with a wink, I throw the tee at his face, "This a strip?"
Deciding to have some fun, now that I'm starting to feel a buzz, "You wish, Phillip Jack."
He snorts, "I don't know anyone with that name…", he says with crossed arms
Laughing and walking over to him, clad in my trusty Pokemon themed panty set, "I seem to remember a fellow, pretty-looking one, about your height and same colored eyes. Except, he has bleach blond hair, a little bit more buffer, and not as sarcastic.", I say tapping on his nose
Amused, he taps his chin, "Can't be as out-of-this world handsome, can he?", I scrunch up my face, "Hm…I once met this girl, Marleene. Boy she was a catch. Beautiful face…they used to mistake her with Eva Longoria, but between me and you, she was way better. Also, she had these incredibly beautiful eyes…it's ridiculous. Not to mention the ass on her…woo!", I smack him on the arm, "Hey! She had curlyass hair…", he pulls me in closer to him, keeping his hands on my waist, and smells my hair, "Smelled of vanilla…", his lips make contact with my skin and I feel myself relax, "She was short like you but man was she stubborn.", his lips make their way to my neck and begin to knick and lick causing me to lose a breath and close my eyes, "Stubborn and mean…never wanted to be wrong. But she was also smart.", his lips travel up, "A vocabulary on her… Also funny…dorky but cute…", he gazes at me, "I got a lot about her to say…I guess, I'm in love.", he stares at lips and goes in. Make it his 90 and my 10 and it's a kiss.
Soft and tender our lips work. A lick is all that is needed to escalate to the next tier. His tongue snakes in and my wars it out not wanting to be dominated; I moan as his fingertips graze my uncovered skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake. My hands sneak under his shirt feeling his stomach muscles tense and relax. I bite him bottom lip and suck on it challenging him to make his next move. He lifts me off my feet and sits me atop the drawer. Wrapping my legs around his waist, I make it quite obvious where this is gonna lead should we not stop.
Seems like everything is forgotten between us. No sadness, depression, anger, resentment…nothing but what's happening. My finger inch his shirt up, "Make me feel something, Phil—I want you. I need you.", I mumble against his lips.
Yeah, not even my conscience is talking…