Alright this chapter is going to be...scary. Like Kashika is out of her freaking mind. Self hurt. I'm changing from "you" to "I" like as if you were telling the story to someone.
ENJOY FELLOW READERS!!!
I slam my front door as my eyes flow with large tears. 'WHY ME?!!! SHE SHOULD HAVE KILLED ME AS WELL!!!' I mentally scream. I grunt as I throw random objects. I grab an empty glass vase from the coffee table in the living room. It shatters into smitherines at impact with the black wall.
I sit cross-legged in a small spot of the floor that doesn't have anything sharp or dangerous in it as I sing '1-800'273-8255' at the top of my lungs while skipping the positive talk lyrics.
"'I BEEN ON THE LOW!!!
I BEEN TAKING MY TIME!!!
I FEEL LIKE I'M OUT OF MY MIND!!!
I FEEL LIKE MY LIFE AIN'T MINE!!!
(Who can relate? Woo!)
I'VE BEEN ON THE LOW!!!
I BEEN TAKING MY TIME!!!
I FEEL LIKE I'M OUT OF MY MIND!!!
IT FEEL LIKE MY LIFE AIN'T MINE!!!
DON'T WANNA BE ALIVE!!!
I DON'T WANNA BE ALIVE!!!
I JUST WANNA DIE TODAY!!!
I JUST WANNA DIE!!!
I DON'T WANNA BE ALIVE!!!
I DON'T WANNA BE ALIVE!!!
I JUST WANNA DIE!!!
AND LET ME TELL YOU WHY!!!
ALL THIS OTHER SHIT I'M TALKIN' 'BOUT THEY THINK THEY KNOW IT!!!
I'VE BEEN PRAYING FOR SOMEBODY TO SAVE ME, NO ONE'S HEROIC!!!
AND MY LIFE DON'T EVEN MATTER, I KNOW IT, I KNOW IT!!!
I KNOW I'M HURTING DEEP DOWN BUT CAN'T SHOW IT!!!
I NEVER HAD A PLACE TO CALL MY OWN!!!
I NEVER HAD A HOME, AIN'T NOBODY CALLIN' MY PHONE!!!
WHERE YOU BEEN?!! WHERE YOU AT?!! WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?!!
THEY SAY EVERY LIFE PRECIOUS BUT NOBODY CARE ABOUT MINE!!!
I'VE BEEN ON THE LOW!!!
I BEEN TAKING MY TIME!!!
I FEEL LIKE I'M OUT OF MY MIND!!!
IT FEEL LIKE MY LIFE AIN'T MINE!!!
(Who can relate? Woo!)
I BEEN ON THE LOW!!!
I BEEN TAKING MY TIME
I FEEL LIKE I'M OUT OF MY MIND!!!
IT FEEL LIKE MY LIFE AIN'T MINE!!!'"
(skip Alessia Cara's verse)
"'Pain don't hurt the same, I know
The lane I travel feels alone
But I'm moving 'til my legs give out
And I see my tears melt in the snow
But I don't wanna cry
I don't wanna cry anymore...'"
I break into tears as I stare at a picture of my family on the TV stand a few feet away from me. I bury my face in my hands as I cry my stone cold heart out.
I walk upstairs with a kunai. I sit at the foot of my bed as I write a final writing in my diary.
'Dear reader,
If you have found this note in my journal you probably already saw my dead body next to it. I appreciate you took the time to investigate.
But, I have to tell you the reason why. If you looked at the previous writings in this book you may find that I had a very sad and depressing life. I couldn't handle this anymore. I had too much to offer to people who didn't know I even existed. I was basically a ghost to everyone. They saw right through me like a clean window. I had a childhood trauma that wasn't unseeable. I'll help you out with time and just tell you here.
Well, first my family and friends were massacred in front of my own eyes by my most adored eldest sibling. She did it with a smile on her face as my family's blood splashed and sprayed onto my face. When I cleaned up all the bodies I starved and slept in churches until I went door to door for food. I didn't eat for days until a man took me in at the age of eight. He fed me. He clothed me. He spoiled me at times. But he was also strict. We had fun together. But he never asked why I was homeless. One day he started touching me after a story he told me. Things escalated from there. He started making me do dirty things for him as my body developed as a woman. I wanted to run away but I was afraid of not having anywhere to go. On my 10th birthday he blindfolded me and told me he had a "suprise" for me in the basement. He tied my hands together and gagged my mouth. He took my virginity at a young age. Too young to even know what sex was. I ran away at age 12. I was taken in by an old woman who owned a small store in the center of town. I was put in a class with a bunch of kids I've seen but never talked to before. I literally looked like a black dot in a flower field that was barely noticeable. I sat in a seat next to an emo looking boy. I looked at him for a second before starting the word "hi" before two girls screamed in my ear. Ino and Sakura. I looked at them with my dull hazel eyes and irratated look. "I'M SITTING NEXT TO SASUKE-KUN SO MOVE YOUR BUTT OR ELSE!!!" I looked at them blankly. "Well, don't you think you two should have been here earlier? Besides, I don't think he wants to sit next to a fan girl. He looks annoyed already." I turned around after that and since then I never was noticed or had any friends. I had short responses like when Naruto asked me for a pencil. Or when Sasuke asked me to move my foot or he asked me to be his val- nevermind. If you looked at my arms and wrists you would know that I harmed myself repeatedly to let myself feel the pain on the outside compare to the pain and darkness that's consuming my soul on the inside. Eating me away. This is my final goodbye to this world. Don't mourn over me. Don't let your eyes bare tears. It's benn a hell of a ride. If you can get to any of these following people give them their seperate envelopes on my desk.
Naruto Uzumaki, Sasuke Uchiha, Sakura Haruno, Ino Yamanaka, Neji Hyuuga, Tsunade Senju, Iruka Sensei, Kakashi Hatake, Gaara Of The Sand, and Konohamaru Sarutobi.
Tears drip from my eyes before I close the book and set it next to me. I hold the edge of the kunai up to my wrist. I quickly and deeply drag the blade across my wrist. My vision went black as I fall to the floor with a hard and loud thud. I manage out the words, "Good...bye." before closing my eyes and happily and gradually dying.
Meanwhile...
Naruto walked in the night up to Kashika's doorstep. He knocked at the door anxiously before kicking it open. He heard the thud come from upstairs. He sprinted up the stairs avoiding glass and slammed open doors until he got to the end of the hall.and opened a door that said "Kashika" on a hanging silver name plate. He jiggled the knob but the door was locked. He slammed his shoulder into the door painfully five times before it swinging open. He looked around at the room and at a notebook at the end of her bed. He walked toward it. He stopped when he felt his foot step in something warm and sticky. He looked down at the small puddle forming from Kashika's open wrist. He looked at the journal and envelopes on her bed and desk. He put them in her backpack and ran to her bathroom. He grabbed her first aid kit from the medicine cabnet. He called her name repeatedly with no reply. She wasn't breathing but had a heartbeat. He covered the wound in the bandages and quickly put on the backpack. He picked up the unconcious kunoichi and sprinted over rooftops to the hospital.
Meanwhile the Meanwhile...
Sasuke walked down the street. He saw Neji walking with his team. "Neji, have you seen Kashika lately? I need to talk to her. Neji looked at Sasuke and nervously bit his lip before replying. "Sasuke, then you might want to walk with us to the hospital." Sasuke looked worried. "What happened? Is she working there or...did something happen?" Sasuke said as they walked together. Tenten (YAY SHE FINALLY GETS SOME TALK TIME!) spoke sadly. "Naruto texted us from the hospital telling us that some girl by that name attempted suicide. Luckily he heard the thud and he went to check on her. The doctors say she will be okay. Its just that she has to live with her most responsible friend. But before that she has to stay in a mental hospital for a week. He found some things that he said we need to check out. Suicide letters, envelopes, drawings, etc." Sasuke walked at the front of the group. They all walked quickly but he was practically running compared to them.
They walked into the Relatives' Room. A bunch of people were waiting inside. Sasuke looked at everyone else that got the message. Naruto, Hinata, Sakura, Ino, Choji, Shikamaru, Sai, Gaara, Temari, Kankuro, Karui, Kakashi, Iruka, Guy, Tsunade, and Konohamaru were waiting inside the room. Sasuke was shortly suprised at how big the room was. Naruto stood up. "Alright, now that everyone is here we can talk about who she is first. Once upon a time , there was a quiet, rarely noticed girl at the academy her name was Kashika." Tsunade gasped. "Her? I remember what happened to her. She was never like this before." She shook her head. Iruka spoke out next. "She is a very bright and nice young woman. why would she do this?" Kakashi looked at everyone with slightly more open eyes. "She should have talked to someone. It helps. The trauma she was put through held back her roar nobody heard in the lion in front of them. After all she went through she probably had the hardest life compared to the rest of us. Her bright, cheery, and respectful attitude changed in her after that incident. It never should have happened!" He threw a kunai at a random angle and it drove through a bag of potato chips Choji was grabbing from his lunch bag. Coji jumped back. Hinata gave out a short, "EEK!" Before it hit the green pillow Shikamaru had propped up next to her. "Are you okay?" Naruto said as everyone gasped.
Naruto cleared his throat and continued. "Ahem. She was a very beautiful, lonely, and smart female. She is fast and mentally, emotionally and physically strong. She's done so many things for us its uncountable. She wears lots of dark clothes. Her eyes are a soul piercing hazel. Her story behind her attitude makes you want to feel guilty for something you didn't even know about. Speaking of that. How do you four know about what happened?" He looked at Kakashi, Tsunade, Guy, and Iruka. Guy heaved a sigh. "We...taught her sister. The one that killed the whole clan. She was bipolar. She hated girl drama and she always spoke her mind. She was a youthful young lady. She always slapped or punched anyone that disrespected her. She was very strong. After she never really completed that mission. She was told to kill everyone in her clan. She spared Kashika and told her to revive the Watanabe clan. The downfall to that she always believed in her sister but Kashika never really believed in love. She might not actually do that."
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