Take Me to Hell
The motorcycle tears down the road, popping a wheelie before stopping and Kevin puts the kickstand down.
The gate has two old, green demon horse heads flanking each side, the gate itself is made of stone with chains hanging down it.
He stares at the gate with anticipation for all the demon asses he'll be kicking as Albedo transforms back into a floating skull.
"This is your old barrio, right, Albedo? Then you can be my tour guide."
"Me? But I quit the whole demon thing ages ago…and really, my memory's absolute rubbish."
"Oh I'm sure it will come back to you in no time. Relax amigo. This is going to be an adventure. Our very own road movie."
He begins walking towards the gate, grabbing Albedo as he transforms into a torch.
"And the best part is you never know what's waiting around the bend."
He opens the gate and is greeted with a smoky darkness and a whole horde of demons awaiting him.
Kevin makes to close the door, not expecting an ambush.
Before he could close it, one lunged at him.
Instinct took over and Kevin hit it with Albedo, knocking it to the ground.
It grabbed his leg and aimed Albedo, instantly turning into a gun,shooting it until it let go.
Kevin was disappointed that its head didn't explode.
Once it backed up the rest began to lunge. Kevin closed the door, but one of their hands got stuck.
But with enough force, the gate closed once more, severing the hand from its body.
"Like what you see?"
"Que magnifico! Where is Lance's castle?"
Albedo transformed into a gun(the Boner). Kevin aimed and fired, exploding the twitching demon arm.
"Well, it won't be on this side of the door."
"All right, let's start this road movie with some road…Kill!"
Kevin kicks the gate open and is stunned to see that beyond the gate appears to be an abandoned, old European village.
With a sound and red lights, Albedo transforms back into a torch, his flaming head perfect for giving illumination before, seems to be a little lack luster now.
"That's right, K. Don't let that peace and quiet push you around."
"Heh, when demons hear the name "Kevin Fucking Levin", they run the other way!"
Albedo secretly wished he had eyes at the moment, that comment deserved an eye roll.
They take a couple steps when Kevin notices something strange floating over a clogged well.
It was as if someone cut out around someone's eye and stuck bat wings on it and made it iridescent.
"Albedo, what the hell is that thing?"
"Holy cow…I don't believe it. Willy! That's One-Eyed William!"
Taking that as an incentive to investigate, Kevin moved closer with his heart reminding him to save Ben.
However, when they got about a foot's length away, the eye opened and William released a surprised shriek.
His once lazily flapping wings were now flapping with a purpose of getting away…Though as he did, he left a smelly surprise.
"Friend of yours?"
"Are you kidding? William is my aunt's first husband's adopted son from the Ukraine!"
"Then you're practically brothers."
Walking further on past statues of goat-headed demons holding burning pots above their heads on the left and a row of empty houses on their right when Kevin stopped.
"I can't see shit up ahead."
"The Underworld be a shadowy place. Anyway, not a problem. Take a look over there. See that lamp?"
Kevin nodded. He did see the lamp above the door at the end of the street.
"I could light that up for you."
"The Lightshot. Of course!"
Kevin smacked his forehead and then took aim at the lamp and fired, brightening up the rest of the street.
"Well, did I brighten up your day?"
Kevin noted the smug tone and replied in kind:
"What can I say? You're the right tool for every job, Albedo."
Continuing on, they pass by a tunnel.
"So when do I get to light up some demons?"
" I'm sure you'll have your chance. They hate my Lightshot. Leaves a nasty rash."
They almost make it to the door when a creaking sound stops the demon hunter in his tracks.
Kevin turns as a cart exits the tunnel, if he experienced any discomfort when the things inside the cart were revealed, he did not show.
Inside the cart were naked, human bodies, their stomachs cut open and their entrails knotted up together.
One of the blobs of entrails moved and out popped what looked to be a human male with a giant hole through his stomach that allowed Kevin to see through him.
He jumped out of the cart at a bad angle and landed just below the back of his neck before rolling himself into a standing position.
Two more demons burst from the cart, breaking the flimsy wheels off. And two more came out of the shadows of the buildings.
Without saying a word Kevin had Albedo transform into another weapon appropriate at this moment.
This one shot out a green ball that exploded upon touching the demon, blowing the already incomplete creature to bits, dropping two white gems on the ground.
"Ka-ching. Save up those white gems, Kevin. They're the currency of the Underworld."
Without responding, he fired at the remaining demons and then picked up the white gems they dropped.
"Demons aren't very talkative."
"What've they got to talk about? Once your soul rolls into town, that's it. You're damned, and Lance doesn't let anyone off the hook."
Turning to face the door, Kevin took notice of the locking mechanism and shoved Albedo—head first—into the door to pry it open. After a few cranks the door opened.
"He sounds like a real dick-tator."
Walking through Kevin hears the distinct sound of chewing and tearing of meat.
Turning his head around, he sees a golden goat head with nine candles upon its head.
"Albedo, why is there a goat head hanging on the wall?"
"Oh! Well, everyone knows that goats are a source of light."
"Right. Of course…"
Turning the corner Kevin spies laundry lines connecting a house on different sides of the street together.
Hanging on it, however, were four, bleach white bodies strung up by nooses around their necks.
Kevin did his best to avoid them. Once he was away from them Albedo made him aware of the damned soul's face stuck on the door.
It looked like a distorted baby's face since you couldn't see it's eyes and it's mouth was devoid of teeth.
"Poor tyke. Most new arrivals in the Underworld are condemned to guard doors like this one for the first hundred years. Oh we all have to start somewhere."
"Kevin…"
Kevin turns in the direction of the voice. Is it really?
Running away in the direction of where they just came from was Ben.
"…Ben? Come back!"
Kevin took after Ben.
"Ben!"
"Easy Kevin. This place is full of deceptions and dirty tricks."
But Kevin followed anyway. Ben led him to a glowing red chest that was full of bones for the Boner(his gun).
He opened the door Ben entered and came upon a room with a…
"Is that a floating…"
"STRAWBERRY! Oh gimme, gimme, gimme! Oh these things are like demon catnip! When I was little…"
"Albedo! Do I take the strawberry?"
"Yes! Jeez, excuse me for having a little fruit fantasy."
"What now?"
"Well, for starters, you can give me the strawberry…For a job well done."
"Nice try, Albedo. Ben led me here for a reason. Perhaps…"
"'Perhaps' what, K?"
Kevin walked back to the crying baby face on the door.
"Whaaa!"
"What's wrong?"
"I wanna strawberry!"
Kevin smirked.
"Thought so…"
Kevin took the strawberry out of his pocket.
"HEY! Don't you dare give my strawberry to that sprog on the door!"
Kevin forcefully shoved the fruit into the baby's mouth. It smiled as it chewed.
"NOOO! K, you berry squander-er!"
The baby burped and opened the door. Finding the ground level blocked off by some organic substance he didn't want to think much about, he walked upstairs where he was met with a large table fit for a king's dining hall. There was nothing upon it besides those wine bottle candles to set the romantic mood and some alcohol bottles.
"Ah, drinks! At least there's one good thing about the underworld."
"What, liver damage?"
"That's the beauty of it. In the Underworld, you don't die from drinks. They heal you."
Kevin picked them up. Seeing movement in his peripheral sight, he turned just in time to see a door close.
"Ben?"
Anxious to save his boyfriend, Kevin leapt from the broken window and ran through the door.
The door led to a room, the walls covered in blood and at the furthest end was a pulpy, barely human-shaped mess that remained upright from the chains on its arms from the ceiling and a hook from its chest something was burrowing into the ground at its feet.
"Que es esta mierda…"(What is this shit…)
However, looking behind it, he saw a large bottle of tequila. Because he wasn't sure what he would face and it's never smart taking on demons in their own turf, he walked over and grabbed it, then walked back out.
BONG!
"Uh-oh, I was afraid of this…"
"What? Why is it suddenly getting dark?"
"This isn't ordinary darkness! If you stay in it too long, it'll suck the life out of you. Oh, you can't stay in the Darkness like this. It eats away the flesh of mortals! Quick, use the light shot on the goat head! "
Kevin ran back towards the goat head. It was swaying its head around in pain.
Kevin took aim and fired and the goat head went back to chewing as if nothing happened.
"How did you know shooting a goat would banish the Darkness?"
"How did you not know? Some Demon Hunter, I say."
"Just warn me if I have to fuck a horse to unlock a door, huh."
Heading back towards the door that would lead him closer to Lance's Castle.
He sighed, for it took the same maneuver that unlocked the last door.
Shoving Albedo head first into the hole, he jimmied him violently until the door opened.
He thought he saw something moving, but it was too dark to really see anything.
Kevin:"Ben? Is that you?"
No answer.
"I can't see for shit!"
"Ahehem, if only there were SOME way of shedding a little LIGHT on the situation."
"Don't mock me bitch."
"Well then shoot the lamp. Sorry…"
Kevin fired the light shot at the lamp which, for a split second revealed demons sitting around chewing on something.
They ran away once the light came on. It also revealed One-Eyed William, whom took to the sky again leaving another surprise.
Kevin ran over. The tables were in front of a house whose windows were broken and bloody, tentacle-like growths were hanging out of them.
At the tables were chewed up demons, some of the carcass missing chunks of meat or bone or limb.
"Themselves. It's what's for dinner."
Confirming that Ben wasn't amongst the eaten, Kevin walked on.
Crows flying past his head towards the carrion that littered the ground and tables.
A bottle of hot sauce was on the ground, unopened. He took it—who cares, right?
They're damned. And he walked on past a dead tree that looked drained of it's life.
BONG!
"Chingada madre, not again!"
"And this time there's no goat to save us!"
The tree Kevin passed a second before started to change into a horde of demons.
Kevin stood his ground, knowing full well what awaited him if he didn't find some lit spot soon. Fortunately, he has Albedo.
"Quick, K, the door! Run through the door!"
Kevin did, the darkness was already inside, but so was a struggling goat head inside.
He fired a light shot and light surrounded the inside of the house.
There was a chest in front of the goat. Kevin opened it and picked up the bones.
"Huh…much better. No Darkness, and dare I say it?...no demons."
Walking up the stairs mostly because there is no other way to go.
Kevin is greeted with a man's naked, castrated body sitting on a small table, a cleaver in the back of his neck.
A bottle was sitting on a vanity. He picked that up, too. Water or something like it was behind the mirror.
Albedo didn't comment on it and he didn't know what to think.
He walked away, finding a poster on the wall of a pale white, naked female in a sexy pose:
SUNLIGHT GOT YOUR GOAT?
SOAK UP SOME SHADE IN THE UN-SUNNY
UNDERWORLD DAMNING SALON
DAMN, IT'S NICE TO BE PALE!
"Demons do love their Darkness."
"Heh. Then why don't they just cover the whole Underworld in it?"
"Too much of a good thing can kill you. They say to wear sun block in your world, right? Same idea."
A demon threw itself through the window. It seemed to be covered in the Darkness.
Kevin fired two shots aimed directly at its head, but it did nothing.
Thinking on his feet, Kevin fired the Lightshot at it. The darkness that surrounded it disappeared.
"Nice one, K. How did you know to use the Lightshot on that demon?"
"Lucky guess."
Two more demons crawled into the room. Kevin fired the Lightshot at them, breaking their Darkness covering.
The first one lunged at him. Kevin used Albedo in torch mode to bash it to the ground, step on it, and fire a bone in its head.
The last one howled and charged. Kevin blew its brains out before it reached him.
"There's the goat head."
Kevin saw it out the window. He shot it and the Darkness outside disappeared.
Anxious to find Ben, he jumped out the window….
(X)(X)(X)
Okay, this is my first chapter to g1rldraco7's and my story.
I tried to do it like she would, but I think I failed.
But hopefully you liked it anyway.