The Tour
" Kevin."
Kevin turns to see Ben wearing only a bright green camisole top with green beads sewn into it.
Bright green boy shorts hugged Ben's waist snug as he waved to him with a seductive smile on his face.
Ben runs into an open gate filled with bluish-black shadows and Kevin follows after him.
" I was with him when he "picked" out that lingerie."
" You? In a Chicktoria Secret? I can't even begin to imagine you in there. You have some kinky fantasy I don't know about."
" Well it was a special occasion and Ben liked the feel of silk against his skin, among other things..."
Albedo wanted to shudder as he tried to erase the sudden images that came into his head.
Kevin ran inside to see it was a long dark tunnel with a door on the other side as the only light source.
" Are you fucking kidding me?"
" Keep running. There's no way to disperse darkness this thick!"
Kevin kept running as he came through the open door and found himself in an alleyway.
Claws with eyeballs stood in the corner near the windows of the buildings.
Another gate full of shadows was on the left while the alleyway was dark with a gold lamp swinging lightly.
Kevin aimed Albedo and fired a light-shot, illuminating the place and scaring some demons hiding in the shadows.
" More darkness ahead! At least we're standing on the bright side of things this time."
" You call this bright?"
Kevin ran past Willy who took off again as he made his way past the lamp lighted alley.
To the left was a flight of stairs going up and there some demons landed and placed some masks on.
Kevin stepped back and aimed his Boner at the masked demons and fired.
They backed off stunned until Kevin bashed them with Albedo and sent them to the ground.
He selected his shotgun and blew the demons into pieces and collected the white gems.
He made his way up the stairs into the darkness and saw the goathead across from his location.
"I hear bleating! Better check your goat-dar."
Kevin rolled his eyes at the dumb joke and fired a light-shot, making the darkness disappear.
He went back towards the gate and came upon a huge demon lying on it's stomach with spikes coming out it's back.
Weird tubes were sticking out of it's head and it had one eye that looked like a photo lens.
" What the hell is that?"
" Hmmm... Let's with big and hopefully "dead demon" shall we?"
The ground started to shake violently making the crows, that were picking it's body fly into the building behind the demon.
It was a two story with two open doorways on both floors as if someone or something was waiting for them.
Soon a demon walked out with a long silver beak as a head filled with sharp teeth.
It shuddered and fired what look like blood red crows out of it's mouth.
Kevin rolled out of the way and fired nonstop until it fell into pieces.
Soon another one came through the other door with some normal demons.
Kevin disposed of them one by one until nothing, but white gems were on the ground and he collected them quickly.
Next to the building was an iron gate which had a cart filled with boxes and a...
" STRAWBERRY!"
" Easy Albedo, don't blow your top for a strawberry."
" I'm still mad at you for giving the first one to that sprog."
Kevin sighs before revealing a strawberry to Albedo who gasps.
The sound of teeth hitting fill the air as Albedo indulges on the sweet fruit.
He sighs happily and nuzzles Kevin's face before Kevin glares at him.
" I don't have lips otherwise I would kiss you."
" You ever try that and I'll sick Ben on you!"
They walked through the house to the other-side to see a gate with a baby face on it.
To the left was a bar named The Hangman's Tavern.
" Even the Underworld has a pub?"
" Of course and vending machines. You're damned so you need access to alcohol 24/7."
Kevin used some of the white gems to buy a Sake fun pack.
He went outside to see the baby gate for a strawberry.
He turned to see another baby gate and this one wanted an eyeball.
He goes down a small flight of stairs and sees spiked demons rolling around in a puddle of blood.
He brings out his Monocussioner (shotgun) and blows them into chunks.
More white gems cover the ground and as he collects, them he sees three big red gems.
" Albedo are those red-"
" SHHHHHH! Keep it down! Those are enhancers! Very shady and very illegal down here."
Kevin smiles as he grabbed the three and used one to increase the damage power of his boner.
He used the other two to increase his health and resistance to the shadows.
He goes to the baby who wants an eyeball and shoves it into the tyke's mouth.
The baby giggles in glee and unlocks the door as Kevin grabs the strawberry and breaks the crates open for more white gems and ammunition.
" Hey Albedo do you eat eyeballs too?"
" Goodness no! I gave up being a demon years ago. I'm a fruitaterian thank you."
Kevin smirks at the annoyed tone from his demon sidekick as he walks to the other gate.
The baby cries before the strawberry is shoved into it's mouth and giggles in glee.
As Kevin walks past to the shadow covered door, a large shadow hand comes out, grabs him and pulls him into the darkness.
" Are you serious?"
Kevin sees a human heart floating in a bubble before him.
" These human hearts will keep you out of the darkness longer."
" Don't tell me I have to eat them."
Albedo didn't reply as Kevin rolled his eyes and placed it in his mouth.
Surprisingly it didn't taste bad, in fact it tasted sweet ad went down easy.
" I'm not even going to ask how that makes sense or why they taste good."
Kevin makes his way out into a small area with a statue of a minotaur in the center.
There's a tunnel to his left and a open area to his right filled with glowing barrels and a poster.
He looks into the tunnel to see boxes and he breaks them to find more white gems.
" So uh...Does Willy always make a smokey dump when he leaves?"
" HA! You should see him piss. At least we can keep track of where we've been."
He goes to where the glowing barrels are and reads the poster which says
"Do what's right, Lock away the light!...Lock it up tight!"
" Demons hate light. Have to put it somewhere."
" Barrels. I see they gave the problem a good thought."
Kevin finds a bottle of sake near an overturned cart.
There stood another baby gate with a glowing blue orb above it.
To the right was a door with bones crossed like an x and what appear to be vines growing on it.
" Now here's a fine mess."
" These fucking demon pubs are blocking the door. How we open it?"
" Look above the gate. Now where have we seen this color before. Hey K, feel like taking a step on the wild side? It may help to look at this situation from a different perspective?"
Kevin walks toward the statue and it shakes as a barrier of shadows surrounds it.
Kevin steps in it to see a red trail from the orb to the demon pub door.
He fires a light-shot that unlocks it and steps out before the darkness drains him.
He drinks two bottles of hot sake and sees the baby wants a brain to eat.
" I fucking hate puzzles!"
Kevin as as he makes his way past the door into a dead end and a open window into a lit up house.
He jumps in and someone runs up the stairs in a blur calling his name softly.
" Ben?"
Kevin walks up the stair to see a wall of shadow past the guardrail.
He jumps in to see what looks like Ben walking toward a door with light.
" Wait for me Angel."
Kevin runs toward Ben when a cage falls on him, trapping him inside.
Kevin swears as a goat head appears and he fires another light-shot to restore the house.
It reveals a vending machine and a door which is next to a floating brain.
" Cute Trick."
Kevin grabs the floating brain and enters the room to find a huge white gem which turns into fifteen.
He exits the house to the baby gate and feeds it the brain he found.
It opens to reveal a small alley way with a tree, some light barrels, a door and a goathead.
As Kevin walks toward the goathead, a loud ringing bell fills the air as darkness fills the area.
" Here we go again."
Soon a huge shadow covered hand appears in different spots and drops shadow covered demons.
" What is that Fuckers, fucking hand doing here!"
" Remember it's his world. He rules over all so he literally has his fingers in every pie. Look we can use the light barrels to take them down!"
Kevin hits the goathead with a light shot and then makes the demons follow him near a barrel.
He fires and soon they become normal and he turns them into chunks.
Soon he is rewarded with whte gems, ammunition and found another red gem in the mess.
He increases his health again as he goes through the door to see severed heads rolling down a hill.
He spots a poster with Lance's picture on it saying " Vote Lance! The only guy on the ballot!"
" Has any demon tried to stand up against Lance? Like stage a coup?"
" Yeah right. Do you know what happened to the last demon who ran against Lance?"
" No."
" Neither do I, but all that was found was a shishkabob with two ears, two eyes, two kidneys and two..."
" Never-mind."
Kevin sees a ladder and climbs up as the ground starts to shake.
A heavenly male voice fills the air and breaks all the windows on the two buildings.
" Sounds like someone is trying to bring down the house."
Kevin jumps down and makes his way as boxes and more windows break from the singing.
He sees another poster of a man kneeling in front of a corpse surrounded by a pool of blood.
It read " Lance's Bloody opera Presents The Lovely Michael in Orfeu Evisceraio. An Earth shattering Performance! Don't Miss it! Dress In Red!"
" Lance likes Opera?"
" What did you expect him to be the Emo type?"
Kevin walks down to see another goathead past little shacks filled with items.
The darkness fills the area again and two demons come alive.
" Quick shoot the goathead! Those corpses are reacting to the darkness. Hurry before more can spawn from it!"
Kevin lights up the area and disposes of the two demons quickly with his Boner.
He searches each little shack to find some tequila,a strawberry,whte gems and ammunition for his two guns.
They reach a shadow covered door and see what appears to be a diagram.
The first half shows a body lying on the ground with a red hole.
The second picture shows a giant hand going through the red hole.
" Is this some sort of diagram?"
" This is all new to me K. You go away for years and now there's all this new technology."
They go through to enter another long tunnel of darkness.
Good thing there was a heart and ammunition for the Boner before they reach the end.
Willy is seen near a new gate before flying and Kevin rubs his shoulder.
He enters opens the gate and walks into a large courtyard and sees...
Cliffhanger! :P