A/N- Mature situation ahead! Let me know what you think or share any ideas…I'm feeling kinda lost without direction!

Believe it or not, I once aspired to be a teacher, lit or social studies to be specific. To be that one teacher that students adore and admire. Pops encouraged me to pursue my dreams, no matter how far from home they'd take me or how much of his retirement money he'd have to give away. As long as I made a somebody out of myself, he'd be satisfied. And then Noah appeared; entered my life when I was at my weakest, entered with his smile and white horse, and swept me off my feet. Down the toilet went my dreams of becoming a teacher. All because this "Prince Charming" promised a "happy ever after", I stopped my looking for colleges and took up my trade: Art. Pops was disappointed but glad that I at least took up something morally and socially acceptable. Everything was fairytale perfect. I was loved, fixed, happy, cherished, and satisfied…Everything was fairytale perfect.

Perfect until the "prince" set fire to our book and his became Maleficent. I was awakened and came back into reality; everything just a dream of a girl that just needed TLC. With my return to reality, I realized all the time I'd spent in a fairytale, I'd had wasted important years in my life. Love and happiness came from herbs and strong drinks and sometimes from the people who stuck around. Art no longer could sustain my lifestyle or makeshift family, so I turned to the opposite of a princess…a slut. Drinking away memories so I wouldn't have to remember the scars and prints men left on my body…my soul. All of them in some form raping me…taking a piece of me with them.

A hand shakes my shoulder gently. Being that I was so deep in thought, without thinking, I quickly retaliate by punching the person square in the jaw. It takes me a couple of seconds to realize that I've just attacked Punk. He clutches his jaw, "Oh my fucking Jesus…oh my…", I ramble trying to control myself all while apologizing.

He moves his jaw around, "That was one hell of punch there, I got to admit.", he states playfully. Sitting next to him, I close my eyes definitely not in the mood to be all giggles and shit. I scratch my head and will myself not to cry. Fingers, Punk's, reach under my chin to angle my face towards him, "Hey, hey…it's okay. I'm used to heavier punches."

"It's not that…", I sigh. I really don't want anymore questions.

"Look, you're not leaving this vehicle until you tell me what's wrong with you. I'm not blind or gullible…something's been up with you as of 3 days ago."

Opening my eyes, I gaze into his. I pick out the strands of golden and green that makes up the beautiful pigment they are. His face shows all signs of seriousness and worry. God, I can't… I open my mouth as if to say something but close it until I think of a good lie. I stare at my nails, "I'm just tired…can we drop it?"

Phil intertwines our fingers to regain my attention, "You probably are since you haven't gotten rest with all those nightmares you've been having."

Wide-eyed and taken aback, "Tha-that's not true.", but it is…

"Doll, I sleep right next to you. I'm a light sleeper and I can hear you crying and mumbling in desperation. You go into this state of shock and just lay still."

Retracting my hand, I shake my head furiously, "You're making shit up…", give up, tell him…

"It's something about your past, isn't it?", he asks knowingly.

My lips purse, my defense crumbles, "No…"

"You shake almost every time I touch you, you get anxious whenever we go visit the kids, you shower constantly and scrub 'till you're raw—all of this is recent.", he sighs, "Let me in, Marleene…let somebody help you…"

Using my shaky hands, I pull my knees up and hug them, "I don't want you to leave me…I-I don't want you to realize that I'm a mistake…I'm nothing but I fucked up bitch tha-that ruined your life.", I whisper

Before I know it, Phil is at my side of the car, lifting me up bridal-style. He trudges all the way to the front door, momentarily digging around for the keys in his pocket, opens the door, sets me down on the armchair, comes back with a blanket, and lifts me onto his lap…like a baby. As soon as he's comfy, "I've stuck around for this long, Marleene. Quite frankly, I'd be surprised if you didn't have anything else lurking under your bed. So, talk to me."

Feeling no other way out, I give up, "Alfredo…he came in the other day."

"Alfredo?", he squints in thought, "That tool ass boyfriend you had?"

I nod my head, "He fe-felt me up…he almost took advantage of me. During my time out in the streets…um, putting out for cash…he-he uh…he…", I close my eyes and hear the shrills for help ringing loudly in my ear. I feel those bastards run their disgusting fingers across my skin, the laughs at my pain…everything.

"Marleene, come on tell me the rest…so help me God, I'm gonna ki—"

My finger silences him and I straddle him, "I don't want to remember, Phil…I want to forget.", I stare him deep in the eyes, "I want to move on…", I reach for his hands and run them along the my sides, "Make me forget…when a think of a man touching me…I want to think of you.", I whisper as I lean into kiss him.

"You're not okay, doll…I want to do this and not have you regret because last ti—"

Kissing my way to his ear, "There is a shitload of things I regret doing…you're not one of them."

Standing up, I breathe in and take off my jean jacket along with my plain white tee. I turn feeling shy and slowly wiggle out of my black pants in front of Punk. He just watches my movements. I straddle him once more and grind against him as I kiss him. I need this…

He throws the blanket on the rug and lays me down, his eyes travel along my body as if he's never seen it. I stare away embarrassed at my flaws but he captures my lips, "You're beautiful…", he runs his hand along the contours of my body and I moan in anticipation, "You choose the sexiest undies…", he says with a smile which makes me chuckle a bit. Wonderwoman inspired…

Leaning up, I kiss him. I run my tongue along his bottom lip to which he opened and lashed out his tongue. My need for his touch grows, so I move against him. I chew up his bottom lip and earn a deep moan. I release him, "Stop teasing.", I say breathily.

He chuckles, "I'm trying to make you want me…so you won't regret this.", he takes off my panties and spreads my willing legs. Taking hold of my hand, he leads it down to my pussy and motions for me to play with myself which I do. He stares me down and I can't help but moan. My other hand is lead up to my tits and through my bra, I tease my nipples. In between lusty looks, breathless moans, and overall anticipation, I orgasm. I ride it out like a fucking wave.

That's when Punk himself steps in. He hovers over me leaning down to kiss my collarbone and down 'till he reaches my over-sensitized nubs and starts licking and biting one and another toying with his hand. My eyes close to take in all the emotions I'm feeling. Like a snake he nicks and licks his way down my pelvic area until he comes face to face with my overexcited pussy. Being a tease, he kisses my thighs and swipes at my clit…once. My body jolts. He leans over to kiss me while his fingers stay stimulating my pearl of nerves. I moan into his mouth. I can practically see him smirking. As I start reaching my peak again, I start bucking against his hand, panting.

"Tell me you want me…", he commands.

"Punk, don't you…oh God…Punk.", I whine as he starts slowing down.

"I needa know that you want this…that you want me."

My high floats away. I sit up to his surprise and put him down. Roles reversed, he's on the bottom while I work at taking of his jeans along with his boxer briefs. His dick pops up, oozing with pre-cum and that when he flips me over, again.

"Tell me."

Feeling his erection poking at my opening, I bite my lip but desist to resist, "Punk, I want you.", I whisper loudly. Sparing a second to discard his shirt, he pushes into me. I instinctively wrap my legs around his hips to feel more of him. He thrusts at a controlled pace as I run my nails down his chest. My eyes begin to roll to the back of my head as he hits my g-spot.

"Eyes open…I want to see you.", he commands, biting down on my should causing a moderately loud moan to sneak out of my mouth.

Eye to eye, body to body, I feel him pick up his pace surely reaching his own peak. I run nails along his back and that cute butt of his. He struggles to keep himself from releasing. I quickly use my body weight to flip him onto his back. I start to ride him, setting my own slow pace. His hand grip my hip and the other plays with my breast. I lean over rolling my hips, "You don't have to last…let yourself…go, prettyboy.", whisper into his ear. At this point I feel double time the man. The only sound I can hear is the sound of sweaty skin impacting and his groans.

"Fuck…Marleene…I'm gonna…", he starts but losing his train of thought

"You're gonna… what?", I ask seductively. I slow down just to tease.

"Jesus…", he closes his eyes.

"Uh, uh…eyes on me.", I lean over and he takes advantage and rolls us over so I'm on bottom.

Erratic thrusts push me over my limit and I hold on to him, moaning into his ear, "Phillip fucking Brooks.", and that when he spills into me ragged breath and all, he kisses me whispering sweet nothings.

Catching up on air, I sit up and lean against the abandoned armchair and just admire Punk. When he too is caught up on air, he sits down with a lazy smile on his face, "What you staring at, beautiful?"

"You.", I respond with a lazy smile of my own, "I think you're pretty…"

He leans against the armchair pulling me into him and covering us with the blanket, "Did you have anything to drink before I went to pick you up from the parlor?"

"2 shots of Tequila…?", I answer, "but either way, you're pretty.", I laugh, "And you make me feel loved…and I should stop talking…"

He chuckles and kisses my messed up hair, "I just hope you feel the same when we wake up…"

As I begin to scrub myself clean, I realize that having done what I did with Phil didn't change the feeling of dirtiness. It did however make my feelings for him increase and find him as a safe zone. A sanctuary. Tears run down my face as I continually scrub myself raw.

Getting out and drying myself off, I decide that it's time to consult Dr. Betty Azalea. I may or may not be ready to talk but I'm determined to move on with my life and hopefully move on with Phil in it.

Poking my head out of the bathroom, I hear no sound of Phil, he left, so I quickly dash into my room to retrieve the letter that bastard Alfredo gave me. I stuff it in the pocket of my robe and make breakfast for Micks.

Entering her room, I find her "watching" t.v as usual. I set her tray down and sit next to her on the bed. I smile at her and tear the letter open to reveal that it's from my nightmare: Noah.

Marleene,

I'm writing this letter to you with little hope that you'll actually read it. But if you do, I just wanted to let you know how fucking sorry and guilty I am. No words or actions will ever hide the fact that I destroyed your life. I can't put in words…on paper how sorry I am. Do know that all I did was to get you back because I love you. Always have, always will. My only wish is to get to see you at least once during my time serving so I can formally apologize and be able to live with myself. I don't expect much but It'd mean a lot if you could just come and hear me out…one last time.

Forever yours,

Noah

I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding. Fucking bastard… Tears of pure fury and every word that is its' equivalent. My hand crushes the stupid piece of paper and I shake with sadness and anger. The audacity! At the same time, I lie to myself. No matter what I've tried, my heart still feels for him. Because after all he has done, I love him. Probably always will. Tears drip down my cheeks at all of these overwhelming emotions. I've been through so much in a so little time…can't I ever just get a breath of fresh air?

Not only is he right about having ruined my life but he also took away the people who'd know how to help me. How to guide me to make the right decision. I turn to look at Micks how just stares at me blankly.

"Come back, babes…come back and tell me what in the fuck to do…", I whisper in between sobs. I hug her tight without response. I feel so alone, again…

After a while, to my alarm and surprise she hugs me back and finally speaks up, "You know what to do…always do.", at this point my tears are a mix of joy that she has awoken from her silence and another of desperation and overwhelm for my problems and past never cease to leave me alone.

"but this time I really don't know how to keep on…", Wes…you should come back.