A/N: Hey, I know I've kinda bailed but…damn it's getting tough to push through! Feels like I'm not giving enough heart anymore, ugh. I find myself stuck, my muse has gone. So, yeah…I'm planning to kick it up a notch and move at a faster pace—hang in there with me.

Show me some love! Love ya'll, read and excuse me if it's not my best, grr!

Eyes of different a mixture of gold and green stare at me, through me—I'm probably just another wall to them. I'm use to it; it's been a while since they've shown any sign of life. This person is just a dusty reflection—is just existing on this earth rather than living on it. She is and was McKenzie Brooks-Welsh…and with some work, she'll be her again. Hopefully.

Slowly pouring water atop her head, I watch the way she sinks into it. Those glassy eyes of hers close and she almost looks at peace, almost. I open my mouth as if I'm really gonna spill the contents of my mind this time, but she cuts me to the chase, "Tell me." this isn't the first time she's spoken but it still gives me a twinge of shock, "I'm observant." she looks up at me, "Tell me."

Finding myself struggling with myself, I sigh, "You have to snap out of this, babe. You got kids that miss you, I miss you, Phil does too—Ace. Ace is coming home, okay? You gotta pull yourself together." taking her cold hands in mine, "McKenzie?"

"He's coming…home." she mumbles. A ghostly smile creeps onto her tired face and her hands begin to tremble in mine, "He's coming home." she repeats over and over…almost as if she's chanting it.

Feeling a bit put off by her behavior, I gently brush some hair from her face, "Yeah, he is. So, stay with me. You gotta keep on, sweetheart. He can't come home to see you like this."

Micks shakes her head, "No, no he can't." she giggles, "Because he's coming home and Wes…Wesley he's—", she giggles and stops abruptly as if she's just smacked in the face. She stills, "He's not coming home." she says monotonously. Her eyes find mine, "He's never coming home." now not only are her hands trembling but also her entire frame. One tear and then a stream fall from her now darkened eyes.

I feel dumbfounded at this. It feels as though I'm losing her as fast as I brought her back. She'll stop crying and go back into her abyss…go back to existing.

"Micks, he's gone. It hurts like a whore, believe me but you have to keep going. You've got so much to live for, sweetie." this does nothing to calm the naked woman inside the tub, "Wesley told me to tell you that it's okay to keep on…that he loves you.", I blurt out.

With a look of realization, Micks looks up at me, "I-I loved him…I loved him for so long.", she sobs.

"But he knew you loved Ace more and he was okay with that. He loves you and the baby." I'm shot a questioning glare, "I know—it's okay."

"She's his baby! I loved him so much, so much but how could I do that—how? I-I played with him and Ace. I-I I'm so guilty! I love Wesley but I knew I'd leave him for Ace. Wes died running after my son. Wes died for me and I-I couldn't even love him enough to leave Ace…", she cries.

Stepping into the tub, I lower myself into the lukewarm water, in jeans and all, and hold Micks tight like Punk did when I sank in my own guilt because, sometimes, we're not lucky, we don't die—we just keep living and there's nothing left to do than give up or keep moving with that regret, with that pain.

Immediately, the frail body melts into me and sobs that have long waited to be released from their prison are set free. My arms tighten around this body of hers and let her pour everything into my shirt. Crying doesn't get a person anywhere, but sometimes we have nothing else than to believe it will because words and actions fail us.

*flashback*

As the wind swirls by taking my hair with it, I find myself not giving a fuck. It doesn't kill my view of the Chicago skyline from my spot on the ledge of Darcy's rooftop. Batman must feel like a boss when he does this…The warmth of the cig in my hand tells me it's time to toss it and I do. Mindlessly, I dig into my pack for another and light it.

"Put that shit out, ashtray, you're gonna ruin these grade-A tacos." voices the one and only, CM Punk.

Twisting, "You know, I could've easily fallen over the edge and met my horrifying end, smart one."

He sticks out his tongue at me, "And I would've swooped in to save you, part of the job."

"Oh, almost forgot, wrestling is just a hobby. Saving damsels in distress is your official job." I reply playfully.

Punk swings a leg over and straddles the ledge, "You act as though you're unimpressed! Chicks dig it!"

I laugh and kiss him chastely, "Chicks dig it, huh? Well, I guess I just dig you…Superhero or not, Phillip." I whisper against his lips and continue to kiss him.

Halfway through, I feel him smiling, "You taste like an ashtray, doll."

Chuckling, "You ruin all moments!"

Time laps us by; we've been sitting for a minute in pure silence under what little stars we can see. Our tacos have long been devoured and fatigue has set in.

"Just to get it clear, you ain't mad about my whole not wanting to move in?" I ask in need of reminder.

Phil stares at me for a quick second and returns to looking up at the sky, "Honestly, I didn't expect you to say anything different." he replies with an awkward laugh, "It just felt so right. Just wanted to get you out of that neighborhood before I leave because I know it still hurts to walk around a place with so many memories." he coughs, "It'd be nice to have you panties in my drawer for a change as well."

Gasping, I smack him, "You're such a douche!" I laugh, "I ever find that your little friends have seen anything of that sort, you can kiss you balls goodbye."

Covering his groin, "Ouch, violent much?", I laugh at his fake pain and bump him and he replies with a kiss on the cheek, "I'd just like for you to elaborate on your reason."

Biting my lip, "Lockport is the only home I've ever known. That piece of shit town watched me grow—it's where I learned how ride a bike, where I got my first kiss, where I used to cause mayhem with the crew, where I became bestfriends with Micks…it's where we started." I whisper the ending bit. Picking up, "So many bad memories but a few good ones, ya' know? My people, the parlor will get left behind—I-I guess, I'm just scared that I'll forget where I came from. Aside from that, I have a responsibility to Micks: her kids." Seeing his face, " You and I, we're still new."

Arms pull me into a taut body, "Ah, I know…I just—now that I got you, I just don't know. You've done something to me, Marleene Soto." He says nuzzling my hair.

"Well, well, seems to me that you've always been a hopeless romantic just hiding behind a jerk front…if only the public knew of this discovery.", I comment with a wicked smirk.

"Don't you dare, missy." He threatens biting my cheek and I shriek, "Getting back to business, about the kids…I've been thinking, you should pop the news to Micks."

Tensing up, "The girl could go into a deeper abyss though…"

"She could or she could snap out…I really don't want the man to come home to see his wife like that—bad enough he has to come home to a kid that isn't even his."

"But she's so cute…"

"True, but no man likes to imagine another all up in his woman."

Nodding my head, "I get it…but how am I going to tell her?"

"I don't know but we have to put some sense into her…soon. I know I've been chanting this but I'm leaving…and soon…and I just wanna leave clear-headed. Worry-free and if I can, you with me."

"You think too far ahead, handsome." I turn around to face him, "Can we just live in the now? I got Micks, I'll tell her. You focus on getting those feet of yours through Vince's door. I can carry my own."

"Oh, I know that you can carry your own…" he says with a suggestive glint in his eye, "I can see you in the after, doll. I just want you to see yourself there too…so, keep the offer in mind?"

I nod my head, still pretty unsure. The wind blows somewhat fierce making me shiver, "Let's go to bed."

*end of flashback*

Rubbing Micks's back, I hold her still crying body in now-cold water, "We just gotta get you up on your feet and I'll be halfway through Punk's door." I mumble absentmindedly.

I'm more determined to move on with my life than I've ever been. Maybe I'm not ready, maybe I am…only one way to find out.