A/N: Hello everyone, I've decided to bring this story back from the dead, as it had so much potential to start. But just a heads up, this chapter is a tad bit short. It's just to get the ball rolling, dont worry, this wont become a habit. So please enjoy. I also do not own anything other than this fic
Dusk was settling in the town of Lior, everyone had gone home from their jobs to enjoy a nice dinner. However, up in the belltowers of the Cathedral, something sinister was taking place. Lust had been watching from one of the windows, looking down at the people below. "How can humans be okay with such melodramatic lives? I will never understand." She muttered to herself. "Beats the hell out of me, It would bore me to death thats for sure." Envy replied, leaning back in one of the chairs, his feet propped up on the desk, growing annoyed with the loud chomping sounds coming from the corner of the room. "Hey Gluttony, you mind chewing with your mouth closed?" He grumbled as Gluttony looked up with a mouthful of flesh from the unfortunate priest who stubbled upon them.
"Oh dear, would you like some salt with that?" A voice answered from the darkness, causing Lust and Envy to spin around, ready for a fight. Instead, they were met with a devilish grin with a pair of red eyes illuminating in the dark. "Who the hell are you?" Envy demanded, the figure then approached the light. Revealing the infamous clown prince of crime, the Joker himself. The duo's eyes widened. "You? Youre supposd to be dead." Envy pointed, still wide eyed. Gluttony looked up from his meal with another moutful confused. " 'ews 'hat 'urst?" He asked glancing at Lust. "For goodness sake Tubby, didnt you ever learn to not talk with your mouth full?" Joker asked, followed by a mocking giggle.
Gluttony swallowed his food, following up with a snarl. "I dont like to be called names!" He exclaimed, shuffling torwards Joker, his mouth hanging with bits of drool seeping. "Can I eat him Lust, he looks yummy!" He grinned. "Oh! Are you still hungry Fatso? Well youre in luck because I ordered room service!" The joker laughed as a large fist came swinging out of the darkness, sending Gluttony's face through the wall. Lust and Envy looked back at him shocked as a pair of red eyes flickered from the darkness. Foot steps approached, the ground rumbling a bit as Bane stepped from the darkness. He was much older than the last time the duo saw him, with a gray goatee to show the signs of his age, but still all the more muscular.
"And you're not getting a tip." Joker held up a finger to him. "Shut it clown." He growled with his thick spanish accent. The Joker responded with a laugh. "A riot this guy is, you should hear his stand-up!" Joker exclaimed between laughs. "What do you want Joker?" Lust asked in her usual monotone, clearly not amused. "Oh nothing really, I just thought I'd kick back with the old gang is all! Well aside from this old gang." Joker jerked his thumb towards the several pairs of red eyes in the darkness. "We're not playing your games you clown freak!" Envy spat, causing the Joker to grin.
"Say, did you used to be a couple of stories taller? And a lot uglier?" Envy's eyes widened in anger as she gritted her teeth. "Get to the point Joker." Lust narrowed her eyes as he approached Gluttony. "Well there is no point really, just wanting to have some fun now that Im back in town. Say, how's Mustang been lately?" Joker asked as Gluttony shook the dizziness from his head, reaching into his jacket the Joker drew his silver revolver, aiming it at the back of Gluttony's head. Pulling the trigger, an empty click filled the room. The Joker frowned, aiming the weapon towards himself. Staring down the barrel as he pulled the trigger a few more times, nothing. "Damn it, I know I put bullets in this thing." He remarked, aiming it back at Gluttony. Who looked up in time to see Joker pull the trigger again. A loud gunshot snapped throughout the room, causing Joker to jump back in excitement as Gluttony collasped onto the floor. Lust and Envy looked down on their fellow Homunculus in shock, before moving back up to Joker.
"Oh thats right! I forgot I played Russian roullete earlier!" Joker responded with a fit of laughter. Lust and Envy grimaced as a bead of sweat traveled down their faces. "You dont know who you're messing with clown." Envy muttered. "Oh I dont do I?!...Actually...I dont...Bane? Who are we dealing with again?" The Joker turned to him, causing Bane to glare at him. "No no wait, dont tell me..." He added as he scratched his head with the end barrel of his revolver. "Oh! I know!" The Joker grinned as he pointed his revolver at the two. "A couple of corpses."
Joker failed to notice the sulking mass of Gluttony standing over him, saliva dripping from his open mouth, the Joker sniffed the air. "What smells like undercooked priest?" The Joker asked as Gluttony attempted to strike with his jaws. The Joker responded by leap frogging over him, landing in front of Bane. The homunculus turned to him with a snarl, the bullet wound healing with a zap of red sparks. "Oooooh!" Thats a neat trick! Allow me to retorte!" Joker giggled as he held up a finger. "Oh Bane!"
Without warning, both of Bane's fists slammed into Jokers skull from each side, turning it into red dust to the surprise of the Homunculus. With his finger still held up, the Jokers body leaned forward to collapse. But, his foot planted forward, causing Envy and Lust's jaws to drop as cackled of red lightning formed around the Joker's shoulders. The two watched in horror as the Joker's head began to reconstruct. A twist fit of laughter echoed the room once Joker's mouth was reconstructed, removing his glove. A homunculus symbol was tattooed on his white-skinned hand as his head was finished rebuilding, a insane evil look in his eyes as the flower on his suit sprayed a steady stream of green gas towards the trio. Three fits of coughing filled the room, which slowly turned into insane laughter as the sun peaked below the horizon.
A/N: Quite the plot twist eh? As always, leave a review and a fav. Till next time
Shadowslayer220