161) Future contact with Haruhi Suzumia is strictly forbidden, reality isn't supposed to bend like that.
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162b) We saw what you did there, Kris. Cute. Real cute. You're not allowed network access without adult supervision anymore, until we say otherwise. -RH&B
163.) Despite the popularity; the import of stickers from Karakura Town is now strictly prohibited. Who ever decided to put one on the bathroom door is in for a world of pain. Urahara charges by the hour and having him on call to put souls back into bodies is getting cost prohibitive.
164) Haken Browning and company are hereby disqualified from all diplomatic endeavors, except for those exclusively between the TSAB and the Endless Frontier. Sexual harassment and snide comments are not acceptable behaviors for a diplomat.
165) Vita, you are hereby permanently banned from commenting on the size of any woman's physical attributes, period. Kaguya-hime's feelings were deeply hurt by that "mega boob demon" comment.
165a) And just in case you think this applies only in public, you're not allowed to do it in private, either - on duty or off. -HY
166) Just a reminder: Aschen Brödel is a combat-purposed gynoid, not a cyborg, and the W Numbers have no relation at all to Scaglietti and the Numbers.
167) There will be no modification of Jyaki-GUN-Oh with Midchildan technology until permanent diplomatic agreements with the people of the Endless Frontier are signed.
167a) ...or Phantom, Nacht, and Abend, for that matter.
167b) Please don't install G-Stone or J-Jewel technology on them, either - at least, not yet.
168) Vita of the Wolkenritter is hereby no longer allowed to cause anything to turn into light, except during officially-sanctioned combat missions, supervised training exercises, or emergency situations.
168a) Regardless of how much her cheery attitude irritated you, doing that to Swan's Microbus was unjustifiably mean, and you will be paying for the replacement out of your own pocket.
168b) Also, until further notice, you are to be denied access to any and all 3G technology. Abuse it and lose it.
169) I can't believe I'm writing this, but... Mach Calibur, you are not allowed to attempt initiate cyber-sex with Evoluder Guy. Nevermind how hot you think he is - he is a happily married man, and your attentions are not appreciated.
169a) Seriously, don't. Mikoto-neechan is scary when she gets protective of Guy. -SN
170) Inspector Harlaown, while we are happy that you have finally managed to find a biological relative who actually treats you like family, we cannot permit you to release technical details about Intelligent Devices to your cousin Tessa.
170a) Yes, we know that it would allow her to make several major breakthroughs in her research on Lambda Drivers. That's why we aren't letting you give her an ID.
170b ) Don't release the technical details of Storage Devices, Armed Devices, or Unison Devices, either.
170c ) Ah, sorry, to late - at least for Storage Devices, I didn't give her plans for either of the other two. On the bright side, its a public domain design, thirty years out of date. –FTH
171.) There is to be no experimentation with the unique energy source discovered on unadministrated world 310-RNT known as the 7th fonon.
172.) Why Yuno should not give out more intelligent devices:
Edward Elric - "Who the heck gave Winry the steam punk clothes and giant wrench that can materialize nuts and bolts out of thin air and shoot them at high velocity speeds?"
In a closet at the Rockbell home talking into TSAB communictor.
Yuuno - "Umm... I was doing an archeological dig on an unadministrated world. I got injured in ferret form (again...) and this blond girl found me. We got attacked by this weird fat man that wanted to eat us who was super fast and strong. I gave her the new intelligent device, Rising Steam I was working on... it was designed to be an emergency fighting device for mechanics and maintenance workers."
Closet door opens.
Edward - "Okay who's in... here...", looks down to see a ferret talking into a weird type of phone, "WHAT IS A TALKING FERRET CHIMERA DOING IN WINRY'S HOUSE?"
Yuuno - "Oops I'll need to call back."
Ed tries to grab the ferret, it scurries out of his reach and runs out the back door. Ed pursues it leading to an epic fight involving alchemy, numerous binding and barrier spells being cast by said ferret and destroying half the landscape. Winry comes out to see the destruction and goes through her entire wrench collection (246 wrenches by the way) on Ed and Yuno.
173.) Subaru is no longer permitted to use her device while competing in rollerblading competitions.
173a) Neither are you, Ginga and Nove.
174.) Stormtroopers are not bowling pins
175) While we are aware that Professor Scaglietti tried to give her a Number and take away her name, that does not mean that you should be playing 'Secret Agent Man' whenever Ginga walks in the room.
176 ) Just because Dieci found out that she likes Maple Syrup doesn't mean that she or her ancestors were from Canada originally.
177 ) Cinque's nickname is not "Little Boss".
177 A ) To the person who stole Cinque's giant teddy bear, please return it peacefully. If you do not, we will find you and Cinque's sisters will have a few words with you.
177 B ) This is your last warning. Cinque knows CQC. Return her teddy bear NOW.
178) Just a reminder: TSAB starfighters are not to be used as conkers.
178a) Clarkson, Hammond, and May, this means you.
178b) And whoever brought them off Earth is going on report.
179) Can someone explain WHERE THE [censored] HELL DID THESE GIANTS ROBOTS COME FROM ? They are NOT part of the TSAB approved Super Robots program.
179a) Bought them ? BOUGHT THEM ? How did you manage to smuggle them past customs ?
179b) Sgt. Ranma Saotome is therefor forbidden from using Hidden Weapon to smuggle good. And please, return the Master Gundam immediately.
179c) Oh I can't believe this [censored]. How did they managed to get the proper authorization papers to actually keep those things ? Dammit. Alright, you win, keep the forsaken things, I don't care anymore.
180 ) Sorry, Fate, your awesome theme song just got over-ridden.
180 A ) No, you can't go and fight against Ratsel because of it.
180 B ) No, you can't ride Arf like Sanger rides him.
180 C ) You can't ride Sgt. Saotome like Sanger rides Ratsel.
180 D ) You can't ride Sgt. Saotome like that either!
180 E ) Think of the children!
180 F ) Nevermind, they're watching and getting sex-ed through this.
180 G) Oh god. Somebody, please, stop Signum! Whether she intended to do, stop them or join in, nobody wants to or seems to know!
181) Whoever let Rance in here, you are already dead.
181a) Gahahaha! –Rance
181b) To whoever it was that had the foresight to keep a keg of Nyannichuan water and the Locking Ladle on hand for just such an occasion: The entire TSAB owes you a debt of immense gratitude. Miss Rance is no longer an issue.
182: While normally the TSAB is very open to recruitment, we must hereby insist that Death Knights and other Necromancers no longer be allowed into the Bureau's ranks. We don't know how Yorrick got ahold of Clyde Harlaoun's body, but raising one of the Time & Space Administration Bureau's most respected heroes and martyrs as a ghoul is extremely disrespectful and deeply offensive to his family.
182a: Are you kidding? My darling can go for days now!
182b: ...FERRET BOY!
182c: It's not my fault!
*) As item #182a is libelous character defamation against a commanding officer of the TSAB, it has been stricken from the record, and the offending vandal has been apprehended.
182d) Any further such character defamation against her, the offenders will join the other guy as Class D Personnel in the SCP Foundation. -CH & YS
183: The following vessels are to under no circumstances whatsoever be allowed to equip dimensional drives: the Millenium Falcon, the Serenity, the Bebop, the Outlaw Star, the Delphinius or any vessel named any variation of El Presidente or Glorious Leader Kim Jong Il. We would add the Sajuuk and the Soyokaze to this list, but apparently they already have them.
183 A ) I'd like to add that we will not be adding dimensional drives to any ship within, allied or associated in any way with the Starfleet Federation.
183 B ) Seriously, we don't want the Borg getting their hands on this stuff.
183 C) Too late. They already assimilated the technology into their vessels. You can clearly tell this when they change their introductory speech to:
"We are the Borg. You will be annihilated. Your biological and technological distinctiveness have become irrelevant. Resistance is futile...but welcome."
183 D) Any chance of the Q Continuum helping us fix this problem?
183e) Those arrogant lazy asses will never help officially, but we can contact a few individual Q under the table.
184) Since the Borg have the tech anyway, treaty negotiations are underway with the United Federation of Planets for a tech exchange and full diplomatic contact. To facilitate negotiations, will the following individuals make sure they are not anywhere in the vicinity? Erio Mondial (for attracting all the women) and Fate T. Harlouwn (for distracting the men).
185) No, Guy, Borg are not Zonders, nor are they related to Zonders in any way aside from being "machine beings who assimilate people and technology".
185a) We only wish it were that simple. Between you and Mamoru, and Soldato J and Ikumi, the war would be as good as won if it were that simple.
185b) Stick around, though. We might need your help reverse-engineering their nanites.
186 ) Species 8472 is not, under ANY circumstances, to be attacked or angered. They're one of the few things that can take on the Borg and win.
186 A ) That doesn't mean we direct them to fight against the Borg either. They may decide that we're next after they're done.
186 B ) That means, people, leave them alone!
186c) But you can direct them and the Borgs against the Daleks, in you wanted to do it.
187) Whoever let Ivy and Signum meet each other I must salute you. Ahh, simmetrical docking.
187a) That was not your cue to "show the little girls how it's done", AnRyuu and KouRyuu.
188) The Infinite Library is not in any way affiliated with the Black Library of Chaos, the Webway, the Eldar, etc. All statements to the contrary will be met with stern disciplinary action. We do not want the Imperium - or any of their enemies - hassling us.
188a. We are also not affiliated with the publishing company named Black Library, for that matter.
188b) Is there anyway we can recruit Cain and Jurgen though? Jurgen's ability to cancel any and all magic/psi/warp ability would be useful and Cain's luck borders on the paranormal.
188c) If not, certainly his skill with that ridiculously effective sword is. Perhaps we can offer him either a "more exciting" posting if that is preference, or "greater compensation" or a nice boring job whatever his temperament.
188 d) Inquisitor Czevak is to be permitted access to the Infinite Library. He has offered in compensation his services as an Assistant Librarian for, quote unquote, "as long as it takes to get Ahriman off of my trail." After his near-miraculous escape from said Sorcerer's clutches, the poor man does deserve a little rest. All agents responsible for monitoring dimensional travel are expected to be more vigilant then usual in the coming months to prevent Ahriman from accessing the Infinite Library. Additionally, Inquisitor Czevak has offered his services to brief and debrief any agents deployed in his home universe.
188 e) Through this humble vessel, the Immortal Emperor of Man thanks the TSAB for their comprehension and benevolence in offering both safe haven and employment to one of his devoted, if unfortunately unlucky, servants. He offers in compensation access to the Grey Knights Chapter of Space Marines for use in operations. He hopes that their service may be equal to the aid the TSAB has lent Inquisitor Czevak, and that further hospitable and friendly relations may be forthcoming between the Imperium of Man and TSAB. - Saint Anais.
188 f) Possible officer exchange between the Imperial Guard and TSAB would be a welcome diplomatic move between our respective organizations. The possibility of sending Commissar Cain and his entourage in such a program will be appropriately studied. Your request will, of course, give such a possibility additional weight in the deliberations. - Lord Commander Militant of the Imperial Guard, High Lord of Terra, member of the Senatus Imperialis.
189 ) Under no circumstances go to P4C-970. (Reference to the Stargate ep 2010.)
189a: Under no circumstances should P4C-970 be rescued from it's current black hole-related problems.
190 ) Mamoru and Erio are NOT competing to see who gets the bigger harem.
190 A ) Even though Erio-kun's winning - CRL
190 B ) Give him a couple more years, if his shoulders broaden enough, he'll look just like Zest - LA
190 B ) Mamoru's already married to me! - Hana
190 C ) She's got us beat - CRL, LA
191 ) Sgt. Saotome is Einhart Stratos's personal trainer.
191 A ) No I'm not! - RS
191 B ) He's my personal trainer! - VT, NN
191 C ) In order to prevent mass destruction, Sgt. Saotome is now giving private lessons in martial arts only to those who can last more than a minute against Nove Nakajima. – HY
192.) The area known as Academy City is off limits to all TSAB agents without express permission and any agent going to that area at minimum must be ranked at B power level.
193.) Do not let intelligent devices come into contact with Kamijou Touma's right hand. The after effects of imagine breaker on intelligent devices have been incredibly random ranging from simply warping the device's to causing fairly spectacular explosions.
194.) Index-Librorum-Prohibitorum does not qualify as a lost logia or as an intelligent device.
a.) Wait what do you mean that she figured out how to use a unison mode with Touma?
195.) What is Nagi Springfield doing in mid childa?
a.) What do you mean he has been here for 2 years already?
b.) Why did it take 2 years for the report indicating that Nagi Springfield was spotted in mid childa to show up? And seriously how come no one else noticed him again up until this point?
c) And how the hell did he get a liquor license here anyways?
196.) yes, we are always short on high rank mages. No you can't solve this by cloning the three aces, and you can't especially make the clones combat cyborgs
196a) didn't we get rid of all you black ops types after that mess with the combat cyborgs?
196b) Which one?- N2R
196c) you mean all of them weren't one big, gigantic, confusing mess?
197.) Non-magical weaponry is forbidden for a reason. "It makes a big bang" is not, in any way, shape or form, justification enough to use them.
197a.) The same goes for non-magical explosives. "It makes a big boom" is, again, not enough to justify their use.
197b.) Appropriating TSAB Shock Trooper breeching charges (which, as everyone should know, are Magimite™-based) and using them for "the big boom they make" will lead to immediate expulsion from the TSAB Armed Forces.
198.) Active Mages on the TSAB Rapid Response teams are encouraged not to attempt and 'befriend' their enemies like Cpt. Takamachi does. It takes a great deal of skill to turn a city-block slagging blast into a nonlethal concussive shot.
199.) When unassuming, easily forgettable men and women start doing martial arts kata for no good reason, run. Your face might slough off if you don't.
200 ) Due to the increasing number of Robot Pilots, we now have a mecha division here at the TSAB.
200 A ) Increasing? There's only me, J and the Brave Robots, who else is a pilot? - G.S.
200 B ) Meet Noriko Takeda and Gunbuster.
200 C ) Nove, stop copying Gunbuster's attacks! It's bad enough with Subaru copying GaoGaiGar's attacks.
200 D ) Otto, you aren't allowed to copy TenRyuJin's "Dance of Light and Darkness" attack either. That's just freaking scary!
201) Captain Zonvolt is now in command of the Super Robot Division.
If you have anything against his leadership of the SRD, you can challenge him to a honor duel using Super Robots. The funeral will be paid by the TSAB. Yours, of course. If the strike of Zonvolt's Zankatou will not annilathe you.
201 A ) Actually, there are two captains now. Zonvolt's solo run as a captain was over-ridden by his best friend's theme music.
202) Cpt. Zonvolt, Cpt. Feinschmecker, the two of you are no longer allowed to "Jinba Ittai" when not piloting your respective mecha, let alone in public. The sight of that can and did traumatize young people.
202a) And the cost of Lutecia's therapy bill is coming out of your paychecks.
202b) Seriously, you two! It's been weeks since then, and she still twitches violently whenever she hears the phrase "Giddyup!" –CrL
203) We have reach an accord with the time lords. As long as they don't muck around with our dimension we won't muck around with theirs.
203a) There has been an amendment to the treaty. Time lords can't mess with unadministered world #97. If they want to mess it, Nanoha and Hayate are allowed to discus and try to make friends with them.
203b) now will you please stop pointing raising heart at us captain?
203c) A special dispensation has been granted to the Time Lord known as the Doctor to visit his friends on Earth and Mid-Childa.
203d) Yay! -VT
204) The Super-Robot force does not include Power Rangers and Super Sentai. Those recruits have their own division.
205) This rule applies to all of the following: TSAB members, staff, adjuncts, and contractees, all personnel of all Administrated worlds and all residents therein, and anyone else we haven't mentioned.
* Do not engage in combat any individual bonded to a Guyver unit, except in immediate defense of self or others against hostile actions.
* Do not provoke into combat any individual bonded to a Guyver unit.
* Do not attempt to capture any individual bonded to a Guyver unit, except in the case of rightful and just police action. Should such action be necessary, do not attempt to do so without a party of at least 3 AA-ranked (or better) mages, unsealed, and with at least one binding and one sealing specialist.
* All unbonded Guyver units are to be treated as S-class dangerous Lost Logia and sealed.
* There will be no experimentation on unbonded Guyver units. They are classed as above for a reason.
* There will be no experimentation on bonded Guyver units or their hosts without the hosts' informed consent, in writing, in quintuplicate, notarized.
* Attempts to remove bonded Guyver units from their hosts are considered attempts at murder.
* Violators will be punished to the full extent of the law.
206: Captain Takamachi and the World's Welfare Work Association "Trouble Consultant" team known as the "Lovely Angels" are NEVER ALLOWED TO WORK WITH EACH OTHER AGAIN.
206a) For that matter, neither party is allowed to work with Lina "The Enemy of All Who Live" Inverse.
207 : Being somehow able to bring an alternative version of yourself here does not mean that you should.
207a : No really, you shouldn't. Someone asking the two Captain Takamachi's which one was stronger really caused a mess of things.
208: The Jusenkyo water of drowned twins is hereby banned. There just isn't enough room, let alone food, for two Sgt. Saotomes and their egos in this universe.
209) Jail Scaglietti should NEVER be allowed anywhere near our newly acquired "perfectly normal protocol droid", codenamed HK-47. Neither should any of the cyborgs for that matter.
209a) Where did we got that thing from anyway ? And why the hell is it following me around asking if I want someone killed ? RS
209b)Analysis indicate that it fell from a dimensional tear. And because you were the one who found it and reactivate it, it seem to consider you its master.
210) Let it be known that if I find out who's sending threatening letters to various members of the TSAB or their friends for "daring to corrupt the purity of Nanoha and Fate", I'm going to allow Lina, without limiters on, to come hunt you down for calling her flat-chested. Thank you and good-night. – LH
211. The devices known as "COMPs" are not allowed on any TSAB world (or Earth). We have enough issues without adding hostile demons, angels, and gods into the mix.
211a. Yeah, about that...
211b. Don't tell me, let me guess, too late?
211c. Bingo, bingo, you win the prize!
211d. ...Who let Botan access the list?
211e: I told you that we shouldn't have followed her. - YU
211f: Well, think of it this way, at least there are people that you can fight fully. - YK
211g: First person to call me a midget is going to find out what dragon hell fire is like. – Hiei
212. Vita's battlecry is not "Halt, Hammerzeit," you should not teach the recruits this.
212a. Hey, this is a pretty cool idea. I think I'll make this my new battlecry. Thanks- Vita
213: Vita is NOT the "Queen of Clubs".
213A: Just because I allowed Signum to use the Queen of Clubs as a distraction before I beat someone down does not make me the Queen of Clubs - Vita
213B: I thought it was appropriate. –Signum
214.) Rules 200 and 201 do not apply and there is no Super Robot, Mecha or any other like division in the TSAB. This is due to the fact that most if not all mecha violate bans on physical weaponry within the TSAB such as guns, missiles etc.
214 A) You do realize that that law is in place to prevent people from using EASY TO USE mass-based weapons, right? Most of these robots can only be piloted by the pilot and no one else. - Super Robot Branch
214 B ) Besides, people in TSAB space have machine guns, they shot at me with them! – Erio
214c ) They WHAT? -CLR L
214C) I'm okay! The bullets never broke my shield and they're all in jail now. - E.M.
214 d.) In response to 214 a.) there are more reasons for that ban than simply the easy to use mass based weapons and it doesn't matter as the ban is still in effect (FYI still no super robot division allowed). Keep in mind that you would probably have to stock extra parts including weapons and a missile launcher or rifle doesn't necessarily need to be attached to a mech just to work. Also one of the reasons for the ban on mass based weapons is purely historical after the Belkan wars.
214f) Yes, and keeping things traditional has worked so well when nuts like Scaglietti, who willingly and flagrantly piss on any bans you hand down, show up to make your day more interesting.
Counterpoints:
1. You're mixing up Super Robots for Real Robots. Supers tend to use their own bodies as weapons most of the time, their gear doesn't work when it's not attached to them, and they use unique power sources to fuel their movements as well as their weapons.
2. Most Super Robot attacks are energy-based, with those that aren't almost exclusively involving physical melee combat by the mech.
3. Technically, our mages are no strangers to the use of "mass-based" attacks, either. Melee attacks aside, there's our very own Ace of Aces, Cpt. Takamachi, with her "Stardust Fall" spell. If that's classified as "accelerated material-type shooting magic", then a magically-powered Gauss gun firing a magnetized slug at hypersonic velocities is no different.
4. Tread carefully; you're dangerously close to saying that it is illegal for the Cyborgs to live in TSAB administered space. Or didn't you realize that they're essentially all human-sized Super Robots?
214g) The Super Robot Division stays. We've invested too much time and too many resources to back out now, and the results may yet prove useful.
215.) Xellos is banned from mid childa due to complaints from his insurance agency. He was being a bad influence on Vivio and the property damage that resulted when Nanoha chased him off would bankrupt the company if they had to pay for it again. (We're not quite sure why he purchased the insurance package in the first place.)
216.) Since when did mid childa have McDonalds and Burger King restaurants?
a.) From now on opening up any chain business imported from an outside world has to be approved by the TSAB first.
217.) Caro is no longer allowed to feed her dragons chili peppers.
218) Numbers, while we recognize that you have a great deal in common with the 00 Cyborgs, we can't allow them to come here unless 004 agrees to have the mass-based weapons built into his body disabled for the duration of his stay.
219: Vita, Signum: we here at the Time-Space Administration Bureau would like to point out that the current crisis is all your fault. As it was the two of you who suggested to Vivio Takamachi that, quote, "Every good King needs a sword", you both will assume any and all responsibility and risk in parting her from her new... weapon.
219a: FROSTMOURNE HUNGERS!
219b: SOMEONE GET ME OUT OF THIS STUFFED RABBIT! Even the Throne - hell, even the helmet was better than this!
220: Signum must not trade or share clothing with Sette of the Numbers. A lot of people keep on thinking someone broke rule 208 when you do that.
220a : Hayate, stop giving matching clothing that Signum wears to Sette. Now put the bunny suits down.
221) The combat cyborgs are now allowed to go to other dimensions,. To get new cyborg parts installed, in order to get themselves upgraded
221: ...Subaru? GET OFF. THE NUCLEAR. WARHEAD.
221a. But X did it with that missile in the Desert Base! -SN
221b. Yes, but X is a reploid, not a cyborg.
222. Speaking of which, no reploids are allowed on TSAB worlds.
222a: ...What do you mean the Three Admirals are all Reploids?
223) I don't care if Scaglietti did have a creepy interest in her. Making double entendre comments along the lines of Vivio - in either form! - being "Jail bait" is getting old.
223a) Yes, we are aware that it's true on both counts. Shut up.
224: No, Subaru, this rule is NOT the amount of licks it takes to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop.
225: All travel to Non-Administered planet #698, known to the locals as Eternia, is now banned.
226: DANCING IS FORBIDDEN. THAT MEANS PUT DOWN THE [Piccolo of the Flaming Fire], HAYATE.
226 A: Can we dance normally instead of weirdly?
226 B: Can we at least dance when the situation calls for it? Like at a party?
222c) At parties, sure - except young Mr. Scrya. Seriously, Yuuno, every time you start "dancing" the possibility of videos of it ending up on YouTube and embarrassing everyone who knows you increases exponentially.
227: To whoever found the Radam, thank you, if you can't tell, that last part was sarcasm. Tekkamen are a pain in the ass to deal with.
227 A: Same with these Eviluders.
227 B: I thought they were called Evoluders - FTH
227 C: They are, but that would make Guy Shishio a bad guy, since he's an Evoluder. We call them Eviluders until otherwise noted.
228) All conctacts between TSAB and the partial criminal association know as S.O.S Dan are forbidden, period. We do not want Haruhi Suzumiya to come into conctact with any type of magic!
229: Whoever started the joke that if Reinforce Ein was still here with Reinforce Zwei that Reinforce Ein would have her own mini-me is to stop with the joke now. Reinforce Zwei is now sad and crying and that's really angering Hayate.
229a) The fool have two hours to make his wills and prepare his own grave: Hayate has ordered on the Akogi's Black Market an old, rusty and dulled Dragon Slayer (Berserk! version) for NEUTERING the idiot.
229b) ...But she can't even lift the bloody thing!
229c) I can. –Signum
229d) And she has hired Kenpachi Zaraki, for the pratical use of the weapon.
230: Veyron is NOT Squall.
230 A: So, we call him Not Squall then? - Lily
230 B: NO! – Veyron
231) If ever you meet another spacefaring nation that meets any of the following qualifications: militaristic, fascist, totalitarian, imperialistic, and dickish, you do not let them slide while they build up power. We already had enough problems with Acturus
231a) I resent that, true as it may be-Smiley
231b) How the hell did you get here?
232 - "What's a Raising Heart? Is it tasty?" - Koalla Su.
232a - Auuuuuu! - Shinobu Maehara
232b) General Order from the Commander-in-Chief: effective immediately, all Molmolians are to be eradicated, they are all to be hunted down and killed, their island bombarded from orbit until there is only a crater, and if we still don't get them all, their whole homeworld is to be eradicated of life and broken down into little rocks in space.
232c) You're just mad because she kicked you in the head - Commander-in-Chief's spouse.
232d) But that's the standard Molmolian greeting! Meaning they all do that! And those kicks are lethal! If I didn't have the best magical healers around, I'd be dead or paralyzed for life.
233.) Raging Heart does not cause stroke or heart attacks despite what the name may indicate.
234.) Teana you are not allowed to take Desert Eagles back to Mid Childa with you after visiting Nanoha's home world.
a.) And for the record we mean both the bird and the guns.
235.) How did the Holy Hand Grenade end up in the TSAB weapons contraband?
a.) Messenger - Some British king is asking for a grenade back. He claims he needs it to defend his castle which is being surrounded by a bunch of rabbits trying to seek revenge on him for killing one of their kind.
b.) TSAB contraband staffer - That's the fifth time this week someone used that reason. Why do we always have to deal with the nutcases asking for contraband weaponry? It's pathetic how these gangs keep sending in such easy to spot fake requests hoping we slip up and give them some illegal weapons for free.
236.) Whoever opened that gate to Gensokyo and and brought the hell raven nicknamed "Chernobyl-tan" to TSAB headquarters, damn you. Damn you to hell.
236a.) At least she and Nanoha are getting along. -F.T.H.
236b.) ALL PERSONNEL ARE TO EVACUATE HEADQUARTERS IMMEDIATELY. I REPEAT, ALL PERSONNEL EVAC- -Transmission Lost
237) Any and all individuals classified as "Sparks" are to be kept away from Devices of all types. We don't know what will happen if a Spark takes a Device apart, and we're afraid to find out.
237a) Any sufficiently analyzed magic is indistinguishable from SCIENCE!
237b) Security to the Device Maintenance Lab, immediately!
238. The TSAB denies any connections with with the earth organizations Greenpeace, PETA and the Boy Scouts of America.
239. Sending signals from the dimensional cruisers in order to confuse the people working at SETI is no longer allowed.
240. Who got the antique dimensional portal at Stonehenge working again?
a). The one in the Bermuda Triangle has become faulty and prone to glitches so we needed to relocate to a more stable one. - Portal Maintenance Staff