A/N: I've had this written for a while now (at least ten days or something), but holy crap chapter 4 was a bitch to write and, like I've said, I want to have the next chapter ready before publishing the current one. That should teach me not to go into a new story blind. Anyways, enjoy!

3.

A couple of weeks went by and things had, slowly yet surely, begun going back to normal again. Max would find waking up just a little bit easier each morning, and she was surprised to find out that the constant, excruciating pain in her chest that had been present every day for the past couple of months had started to be reduced to a still constant but dull ache. One that served as a grim reminder of the events that had taken place. Max couldn't forget; she didn't want to. If she didn't remember Chloe the way she really was, then who would?

During those weeks, Max' steps towards acceptance and recovery were small, slow, and sometimes wobbly and uncertain. One step forward would often result in three steps back, much to her utter frustration, and it took more effort than she thought she was capable of putting in just to get through a bad day.

It was at times like this that she would find herself riding the bus all the way to Chloe's house only to sit across the street from it, looking, waiting for something to happen. She wasn't sure what, but that wasn't enough to stop her. Sometimes, she thought she could see light coming out of Chloe's window or a shadow moving around and, for just a single second, she would let herself believe that it was her best friend. That she was there, smoking and dancing on her bed like she always liked to do.

Today had been one of those "bad" days. Max had woken up late, her thoughts had kept her up most of the night, she had skipped all her afternoon classes, finding it impossible to function enough to even get out of her room after lunchtime was over, and she was now, once again, standing right in front of the familiar house. Only this time she wasn't across the street from it, watching it from afar. It had taken the hipster all the effort in the world to walk up to the doorstep and ring the bell, the urge to flee almost overwhelmingly strong.

Almost two months, and only now had she been able to gather enough courage to properly visit Joyce and David. She had spoken to the woman at the funeral and had visited her at the diner a couple of times, but she hadn't managed to bring herself to visit her home yet. At least not the inside of it. As for David, she would see him at school every day, but the only thing she did whenever she was near him was lower her head and pick up her pace in order to avoid him. And yet here she was now, her finger pressed against the doorbell, her chest tight and her heart beating a mile a minute.

She didn't have time to figure out if showing up like that was a good idea, and she couldn't tell if the expression on Joyce' face when their eyes met was one of happiness, of surprise, or of relief. All she knew was that she was now wrapped in the woman's arms in a tight, bone crushing hug, one that she tried and failed miserably to return. Her arms wrapped weakly around Joyce as the woman held her close for a while longer, almost as if by hugging Max, she was also holding a piece of her lost daughter. It was only when Joyce pulled back and wiped her eyes that Max had a chance to properly look at her. She looked terrible. There was no better way of putting it. Clad in all black, her hair in a messy bun that looked like it hadn't been brushed out in days if not weeks, she looked older, tired, and visibly skinnier. Max briefly wondered if that's how she also looked before she was ushered inside, the waves of nostalgia already making her feel sick in her stomach.

She awkwardly sat down on the kitchen table as Joyce turned on the coffee maker. The young girl was never a huge fan of coffee, but she wasn't about to say so; she knew better. A steaming cup was placed in front of her shortly after, giving her pause. It was her cup. Her cup from all those years ago, the one Chloe had decorated for her with childish pictures of pirates and anime characters with blue hair and the one she had forgotten even existed up until now. Joyce must have noticed the change in the girl's demeanor as she smiled sadly at her and took a seat right across from her own.

"I'm so glad you're here," was the first thing out of Joyce' mouth and it did an amazing job at calming Max' wild heart if only just a little. The few times she had met the woman, she had been assured that she would always have a place in the Price household as she was like a second daughter to Joyce, but that had done little to stop Max from being drowned in her guilt over what had happened. She knew nobody blamed her, and she was thankful for that, yet she couldn't find the will to stop her own mind from blaming herself.

"I'm so sorry I came in without calling," the girl mumbled awkwardly but was immediately shushed by the woman in front of her.

"Nonsense," she stated. "You know you're always welcome here, you always will be." Max simply nodded.

"How are you doing, Joyce?" she asked finally, raising her eyes to look at her companion. Joyce' small shrug and forced smile talked volumes; no words were needed to be said.

"As okay as can be expected," she replied after a moment, her fingers curling around the hot mug that was in front of her, her knuckles turning a little white. "I keep waiting for her to throw the door open and stomp up to her room or yell about something… I don't think I'll ever stop…" she whispered and Max wished she could say she knew exactly what that was like. But she couldn't. She knew that her heart would always skip a beat every time her phone rang or when she would get a new message because, if only for a millisecond, she would think it was Chloe asking her to meet her for breakfast at Two Whales or whining about David who had cut her allowance again. She knew what it was like to lose your best friend and the person you loved more than you loved anyone else, but she had no idea what it was like to lose your only child. To wake up every morning, walk into their room, and find it both empty and full at the same time. "I still haven't had the strength to go through her stuff…" Joyce said suddenly as if able to read Max' mind. "It just feels so… wrong to empty her room… So unfair..." She sniffed trying to keep her voice even and the tears from spilling. Max felt the knot in her stomach twist even further as she placed a hand on top of the woman's in an attempt to comfort her.

"I'm so so sorry, Joyce…" she whispered, not really knowing what else to say or even able to say anything more. She could feel her own tears starting to pool in her eyes as she looked up and blinked rapidly. "I… I wish there was something I could do to help… I-"

The older woman raised her tear-stained face to look at Max, a heart-breaking smile adorning her lips. "You are helping, Max. Just being here, you have no idea how much you're helping…"

"I wish I'd have come sooner... Be here for you and David both, help you out with everything…" the hipster didn't know what else to say other than apologize again and again for not being there, for not being... enough. Enough to save Chloe and enough to comfort her parents when they needed it the most. They spent a few more minutes in silence with Joyce crying and Max just holding her hands in her own, not knowing what else she could do to make things easier. A little while longer, and the brunette knew she had to get out of there. It was all getting too much and she could feel the beginnings of an oncoming breakdown approaching. She didn't want for her strong front to be destroyed right before the one person who needed the most support right now. Clearing her throat, Max made a decision that surprised even her own self. "Can I… Can I go upstairs in her room for a bit?" she asked in a tiny, fragile voice that she couldn't keep from breaking. "If it's not too much to ask, I just want to see it…"

Joyce nodded quickly, her hands flying to her face to wipe the fallen tears. "Of course you can, Max," she replied. "Stay as long as you want to, don't worry about it. And…" her voice grew hesitant. "Please take whatever you want from there… I know I already gave you a bunch of her stuff I thought you'd like to have, but…"

"It's okay, Joyce, thank you. I won't… I won't stay long," whispered Max as she got up, her heart beating faster as she glanced towards the stairs.

It could have been five minutes later or it could have been five hours, Max didn't know; she didn't care. She had faintly heard a knock on the door, followed by a voice somewhere in the distance. It sounded more like white noise than anything else.

"...worried." The voice suddenly became clear, almost as if Max had been abruptly pulled out of a very long tunnel and forced back into reality.

"Huh?" she whispered, her voice hoarse and her eyes glazed as she turned her head to the source of the sound.

Joyce took a tentative step inside, obviously not yet comfortable enough to be in the room without being plagued by memories. "I just wanted to see if you're okay up here," she said softly. "It's been a while, you had me a bit worried."

Max stared at her for a second, "Oh… I'm- I'm fine, sorry for worrying you," she apologized hastily as she got up from the bed and dusted the front of her pants, only to give her hands something to do. "It's just… I haven't been in here in ages, that's all. And… well, I had hoped that when I did end up coming back, it would be under different circumstances. Very different circumstances…" Joyce didn't know what else to do other than nod, a sad expression adorning her face.

"You're back now, Maxie," she said almost as if talking to her own daughter, "and that's what's important."

Max looked around, not knowing what to say. What did one say in situations like this one? I'm sorry? She has said that countless times already and it didn't fix anything. It didn't bring Chloe back. "I… I think I might have to come back another time for the stuff… I didn't…" she didn't finish her sentence; she couldn't. "Sorry..."

"You need to stop apologizing, sweetheart," Joyce said in a soft voice as she walked over to the girl and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "This wasn't your fault so please stop blaming yourself. You'll only make things worse for you…"

'But it was my fault, it was,' was the only thing in Max' mind. How could she ever tell Joyce that, however? How do you tell your best friend's mother who has just lost her only child that their death was something you could have prevented? That's right, you don't. Max gave Joyce a sad, apologetic smile before moving in for a brief yet full of emotion hug.

"I should go back, I've been here for hours," she said as she pulled away from Joyce's arms. She watched as the older woman nodded and turned around to exit the room. She followed closely behind, glancing over her shoulder one last time with a sigh. 'How can a room be so familiar and yet so strange at the same time?'

Five more minutes later, and Max was saying her goodbyes to Joyce, sealing her unexpected visit with a somewhat awkward hug and a promise to come back as soon as she could. Joyce then made it clear that she could visit whenever she wanted, and stay however long she felt like. Max didn't know whether it was because the woman actually liked her company or because her presence in the house gave off an air of familiarity and routine that had been lost, but, whatever the reason, the girl knew she would be keeping her word. Since she was unable to help Chloe, then the least she could do was to try and help those around her who had also been affected by what had happened. Joyce, Kate... Everyone. Even Victoria.

It didn't take Max long to reach the campus that afternoon. The bus ride had been disappointedly short. She always loved long bus rides, she would find them calming, loving the way the movement of the vehicle relaxed her body and lulled her mind. The ride from Chl- Joyce' house to Blackwell, however, was short, anticlimactic; it never gave her the chance to let her mind wander far enough.

Glancing at her phone as she entered the girls' dorm and walked up the stairs, she made a hasty choice not to go straight to her room. The day had been filled with spar-of-the-moment decisions, so one more couldn't hurt. Instead, she stopped in front of the door right next to the one across from hers and knocked tentatively. She knew Kate wouldn't mind the visit and Max could really use a friendly distraction after the emotional roller coaster that was pretty much her entire day so far.

The brunette had made it a point to hang out with Kate as much as she could those past weeks. Knowing the fragile state of her friend and just how much could go wrong in the blink of an eye, she had made it her business to keep the girl company whenever she could. It was such a refreshing sight seeing her smile and laugh again. Kate was helping Max just as much as Max was helping Kate, even if the blonde girl didn't realize it right away.

It was during one of their usual tea dates that Kate had told Max that she had seen Victoria punch her door that night when she got back from the Vortex Club party and Max could only stare at her friend in disbelief because Victoria must have used all the force she possessed if she had managed to make her knuckles bleed. And it was during one of their movie nights that Max saw all of Kate's drawings lying around and had praised her so much for them, she thought Kate would explode by how red her face had turned. Their healing was a slow process, but they were both getting there, and knowing they had each other to count on made the entire ordeal just a little bit easier.

Max shook the thoughts from her mind as the door in front of her opened slightly, revealing a confused-looking Kate. She visibly relaxed, however, and smiled happily when she saw her friend standing there, smiling back at her.

"Max!" Kate sounded excited and maybe just a little bit surprised. She wasn't used to Max dropping in without asking first, not that the impromptu visit was unwelcome in any way. "Come in."

"Hi, Kate," Max greeted sheepishly as she walked inside. "Sorry for coming over like that, I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

"No, I was just finishing up my science assignment. Is everything okay?" she looked at her friend up and down, making sure nothing seemed off about her.

Max nodded, "yeah, everything's fine. I just thought it would be nice to hang out for a while. I missed you." Kate blushed and laughed softly at that. "I can go and come back later, though? I don't want to distract you from your homework," the hipster continued, but the blonde would have none of that. After being assured that she wasn't a distraction and that the science assignment Kate had been working on could be done another time since it was only optional for extra credit, Max found herself lying on Kate's bed, phone in hand, while the other girl worked on drawing something, a familiar and calming silence falling between them.

"You know," came Kate's voice after a while from behind her sketchbook, "I haven't heard anything from Victoria lately."

"Huh?" Max questioned, busy replying to yet another text from Warren. She liked the guy, but definitely not the way he wanted her to. "I thought that was a good thing?" she asked putting her phone down. "I mean… She's not bullying you anything now…" There was a hidden question in her words, she wanted to make sure that the head bitch of Blackwell hadn't gone back to her old ways; especially after deleting that video of Kate and making sure, in her own Victoria Chase way, that no one would ever even think of reuploading it.

"No, she's not… It's still a little weird, though, I'm worried about her." Max couldn't help but marvel her friend's selflessness. Only Kate would be worried about the person who had spent the majority of the school year making her life a living hell.

"I heard Taylor and Courtney talking the other day," Max stated, chuckling at the look Kate threw at her. "I wasn't trying to eavesdrop, they were just being kinda loud. Anyways, they're worried about Victoria, too. And then there was that incident after the party…" Kate's face fell at the mention of that, her eyes growing sad. "Shit, no, Kate, I'm sorry!" exclaimed Max a moment later, when she realized what was going on. "I didn't mean it like that, please don't feel guilty about anything, I'm sorry."

"But I was right there, Max… I could have helped, I could have-"

"You did nothing wrong, Kate, nothing," Max wasn't about to sit around and listen to her friend blame herself for something she didn't do wrong. "After the way Victoria has treated you, not even she can blame you for freezing up like you did. If anything, it's Taylor and Courtney who should feel bad. They're the ones who left her alone after they knew she was drunk."

"I don't think blaming others is going to make me feel any better, but thanks, Max," Kate's voice was soft and quiet now, making a great job at making the hipster feel even worse for what she had just said. "Anyway…" continued the blonde shortly after after taking a deep, calming breath, "I guess the reason why I mentioned Victoria in the first place is because I found a note outside my door this morning and..." she paused.

"Was… was it from her?" The question sounded cautious, betraying just how bizarre Max found what was being said; leaving notes in front of people's doors was definitely not a very Victoria thing to do. Max briefly wondered if that softer, nicer side to the queen bee she had discovered during her time travels was finally beginning to show.

"I don't know, it didn't have a name on it or anything, but…" she raised her shoulders as her voice faded. "It's on my desk if you want to see it." Max nodded and got up her eyes locating a piece of paper neatly folded on Kate's desk. "At first I thought it was from you, but that wouldn't make any sense," Kate continued. "Not to mention it's written in cursive and I really can't imagine you writing anything in cursive," she chuckled.

"Hey!" Max chided in pretend offense, laughing right after. "Yeah, cursive is really not me, who am I kidding," she joked. Silence engulfed the room as she read the short note, impressed at how pretty the letters looked. Whoever wrote it, whether it was Victoria or someone else entirely, they had obviously tried hard to make it look beautiful.

'I miss hearing you practice everyday, Katie. I'm sorry for everything, I hope you're doing okay.' Max blinked and read it again. It had to be Victoria. Her mind flashed back to that night she and Chloe had broken into the school; into principal Wells' office, into his computer and into his desk, into the pool area… Her head was swarmed with visions of a past erased from everyone's existence except her own. They had seen Victoria that night, talking to that scumbag Jefferson; flirting with him, even trying to blackmail him into making her the winner or the Everyday Heroes contest. She had talked about Kate then, called her Katie, pretended to care about her. Even Jeffer- he was surprised by how close to Kate Victoria had pretended to be. She wasn't fooling anyone.

Ignoring the churning of her stomach that simply thinking of his name had caused, the brunette blinked rapidly, forcing her mind to focus on the present. "Whoever it is, they liked hearing you play your violin every day," she said with a small, forced smile. "I liked it too… And I really miss it…"

"Do you think it's Victoria?" Kate ignored Max' comment about her not playing her violin anymore.

The hipster simply nodded. "It's obviously from someone who lives here, otherwise they wouldn't have known about you practicing," she said. "And I don't think there's anyone else here who would feel the need to apologize to you more than Victoria or her posse."

It was Kate's turn to nod now. "I know this must sound kinda strange, especially coming from me, but I don't think Victoria is a bad person inside…" she said, her eyes glued to her lap. "She has this… front she puts on all the time, but I really do think she's not all that bad." Max was surprised by how perceptive Kate was, having been able to read Victoria like an open book. "I'm not saying I should forget what she did and be her best friend," she continued, her eyes still studying her neatly folded hands as if they were the most interesting things in the world, "I do think she's being genuine, though… And I know that she's also going through a rough patch, and maybe… maybe she needs someone to talk to… I guess what I'm saying is that I won't turn her down if she ever wants to come talk to me," the girl raised her shoulders as she spoke.

Max stared at her friend for a moment before speaking. "You really are an angel, Kate," her voice was soft as she placed a hand on the other girl's shoulder. "Don't ever, ever change." That elicited a small laugh from the blonde who finally looked up, her eyes filled with gratitude.

"Thanks, Max," she chuckled.

"I mean it, Kate," Max insisted. "I don't think you even realize how much you deserve in this world."

"I only 'deserve' what I'm capable of getting myself, Max," Kate half laughed. "I don't deserve anything more than you for example." Max felt a knot in the back of her throat.

"Hey, enough mushy stuff," the girl pushed through the uneasy feeling. "Show me what you've been sketching all this time, you've hardly spared me a glance the entire time I'm here," she teased, amused by the pink hue that had appeared on her cheeks.

"Sorry, Max, I got distracted," Kate replied awkwardly, glancing at her sketchbook. "I had this idea this morning that wouldn't leave my mind so I had to draw it," she explained as she handed over the notebook, anxious to see her friends reaction.

"Holy shit…" Max breathed before she was able to stop herself. "Sorry, Kate," she quickly apologized, "but this is gorgeous. I had no idea you could draw like that." All she had seen by then had been cute sketches that would be perfect to illustrate children's books, something that she knew Kate wanted to do professionally, but what she was holding in her hands now had nothing to do with those drawings. "That's… That's me..." she said in a soft voice after a minute, her mind finally registering what she was seeing. She received a small nod from the girl who was now sitting next to her. "And…" she couldn't finish.

"And Chloe…" Kate whispered. "I'm sorry if I'm overstepping any boundaries, I really am… But I just had to draw this. If it makes you feel bad, you don't have to take it…"

Max stared for a moment longer before blinking back a few tears. "It's for me?" Another nod. "H-how did you- Why did you..." the question was left unfinished.

"I had seen Chloe around before she got expelled," Kate explained. "And even after that, she would still hang out in the dorms sometimes… So I knew what she uh… What she looked like. As for the why, well… For- for you." That's all it took for Max to finally let her guard down, tears now freely flowing down her face.

"Thank you," was all she was able to say before letting the oncoming sobs overtake her body and breaking down completely.

"Oh, Max… I'm so sorry," Kate moved to hug the sobbing girl barely holding back her own tears.

"No," Max sniffed and pulled back from the comforting embrace to wipe her eyes. "No, I'm sorry. I just- I didn't expect this, I don't know what came over me…"

"Don't be silly, it's only natural to still miss her, she is- was your best friend, after all…" both girls cringed at that. Kate scolded herself and frowned; she knew the drawing was a terrible idea, and now talking about Chloe only made everything worse. She couldn't help but feel just a little bit relieved as well, however, seeing that Max wasn't bottling up her emotions and was giving herself the chance to grieve properly. "So much for enough mushy stuff," she commented in an attempt to brighten the mood, causing Max to let out a sound somewhere between a sob and a laugh. Silence overtook them once again soon after, broken only by Max' scattered sobs and harsh breathing.

"Five years," she said after a while, making Kate look up at her.

"Huh?"

"I was away for five years and I never even texted her. Can you believe how stupid I was?" It didn't take much of an effort for Kate to realize that Max was still talking about Chloe.

"You're not stupid, Max."

"And- And when I came back, I thought she'd be… I don't know, mad at me… for leaving her… for not being there for her when her father died… I thought she wouldn't ever want to talk to me after five years of radio silence. I'd written so many letters for her… took so many pictures that I wanted to send over. And I was never… brave enough to do so… I'm such a coward." It was a statement, Kate knew as much. Max was asking for her opinion, she was plainly declaring what she thought of herself and it pained the blonde immensely.

"I'm sure..." she began trying to find the right words, "I'm sure that if you could change the past, you would make things better. For both of you. But you can't, Max, no one can." Max flinched at the weight of what was being said. "What you can do, is work on making the future a better place for you and for the people you love who are still around… And I'm sure Chloe is looking down on you and she's so proud of the person you are and the person you can be… She's smiling so much, Max, I know it."

Max didn't know what she had done to deserve a friend like Kate, but she knew she must have done something right in that messed up life of hers, because there she was now, being held by the gentlest, warmest person she had ever had the luck to know. She returned the embrace and the two girls stayed there for a while until both of them were ready to let go and let this day bring them one more step closer to healing. It was always like that, Max had realized. Real healing could only come through pain and tears, and she had more than enough of them both to heal every aching person in the world.

A/N: Okay, so I don't know how I feel about this chapter, I kinda like it, but then I kinda don't, but I think that's just because I've read it so many times now it just seems ridiculous and cheesy xD Still though, drop me a line if you liked it! And sorry for the lack of Victoria, she'll be back in the next chapter.