Emily had ended the call several house ago and she still couldn't believe what she'd been told on the other end. She sat turning her phone in her hand absentmindedly as she feigned interest in the show Amanda had turned on after dinner. Olivia had been by to visit and she almost told her, but then stopped because she still didn't know how to process it or even what to think just yet. Emily didn't realize for a full minute that Amanda had paused the tv and was looking at her. She turned to see Amanda leaning against the armrest, arms crossed, and it looked like she was waiting for a response.

"What?" Emily asked, adjusting uncomfortably in her seat as her anxiety began to build.

"I said, out with it," Amanda said, cocking an eyebrow, "You've been detached ever since you called the hospital and talked to that doctor, so tell me, what's wrong?"

Emily began to shake at the thought of someone else knowing right now. She took a deep breath and tears escaped from her eyes before she could hold them back.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry," Amanda said softening and grabbing one of Emily's hands, "Sometimes I forget you're not Olivia and I just fall into protective friend mode. I didn't mean to upset you, honey."

Emily looked up at Amanda's worried blue eyes, she'd never realized how soft and blue they were.

"No," Emily sniffed, wiping tears away, "It wasn't you."

Emily looked down, preparing herself to tell the first person about her news. She'd expected it to be her sister, but right now she just couldn't keep it in any longer or she would fall apart.

"Um," Emily started, hesitating, "I'm pregnant."

The tears fell so easily as the sobs sent waves through her body. She let go of Amanda's hand and brought her legs to her chest, and buried her head into her knees.

"Oh honey," Amanda said, not knowing what else to say. Obviously Emily's rape was too long ago for it to be her rapist's baby, but she didn't want to upset her more by asking if she knew who the father was. Amanda moved closer to Emily and pulled her into a hug, Emily's head rested on her chest and her tears saturated Amanda's shirt.

Emily sat up a few minutes later, embarrassed that she'd soaked the blonde detectives shirt.

"I'm sorry," Emily said, grabbing a tissue and blowing her nose.

"Don't worry about it, darlin'," Amanda said, casually pushing hair behind her ears, "I'll just go change my shirt, no harm done."

Amanda got up and went into the other room to change, but looked back at Emily as she walked. She'd never seen Liv like this and that's when she knew what was different about the twins. Emily and Liv had both been vulnerable, attacked, and broken, but Emily showed her emotions more freely than Liv did. Maybe it was from Olivia's childhood of pretending everything was ok or her many years in Sex Crimes. She'd probably never know for sure what made the difference, but she knew she felt something for Emily that she'd never feel for Olivia and how she expressed her feelings freely was probably why.

Emily sat trying to mentally flip through all the men she had been with the past month. She'd been going through a rough period and she coped by being promiscuous. That's how her relationship with her ex had ended. He said he'd understood, but he eventually called her a cheating whore and ended it. At that point she really didn't care, not about herself or him.

She counted in her head three possible men it could be, one being her ex. She wasn't sure how he'd react. He told her a long time ago that he never wanted kids and she'd said she was ok with that, but the truth was she ached to be a mother more than anything. She didn't even know what he'd say. Would he insist she get an abortion? This may be her only chance at becoming a mother. Lost in her thoughts she didn't even notice Amanda had returned and was now sitting next to her, rubbing her back. She didn't even realize she was also still crying.

"Is there anything I can do?" Amanda asked, she felt so helpless with this woman in so much pain on her couch.

"Um," Emily said, her nose completely congested from crying, "Can you call my sister?"

"Sure, hun," Amanda said, standing up and dialing Liv.

Amanda stood up as the phone rang. Olivia picked up almost immediately.

"Amanda, hey what's up?" Emily could hear Olivia on the other end of the line.

"Hey, Liv, could you come back by my place for a few minutes," Amanda said, "I think Emily needs you here."

Amanda didn't even know what else to say.

Olivia had just been to Amanda's house an hour ago. She felt like something was up with Emily, but she wasn't sure what.

"Uh, ok," Olivia said, taking off her black reading glasses and standing up from her desk, "Let me make sure Fin and Carisi are good here and I'll be right over."

"Ok, sounds good," Amanda said, and hung the phone up as she turned to Emily, "She'll be here in a few minutes, she just has to make sure everything is in order at work."

"Ok." Emily said, her voice came out sounding more weak than she'd intended and she hated anyone seeing her like this.

Before she'd moved here she had held everything in, showed a brave face. Not once before she'd shown up on her sister's doorstep did she cry, not even after her rape. It's like she had been numb to everything for so long that once she finally came to grips with her mother's death and seeing that her rapist was hurting other women, she couldn't push it all down anymore.

After 45 min and hitting some traffic, Olivia finally arrived at her younger detectives apartment. She knocked softly, fidgeting with her hands as she waited for the door to open.

Amanda gave a sympathetic smile when Olivia entered. Emily was on the couch, her eyes blood red from crying. Olivia looked from Emily back to Amanda.

"What happened?" Olivia said quietly, mostly asking Amanda.

"She got some information from the doctor that saw her at the hospital." Was all Amanda said and looked from Olivia to Emily sheepishly sitting on the couch hugging a pillow to her chest. Olivia walked slowly to the couch and sat down, putting her hands between her knees.

"What's going on?" Olivia said softly.

Tears sprang back to Emily's eyes. This wasn't her sister's problem, it was hers, but now Olivia was all the family she had left.

"I don't know h-how or who," Emily stumbled through her words, trying to figure out how to tell Olivia while also trying to process.

"Emily, what-Are you ok?" Olivia was so confused and didn't know what to say or ask.

"I'm pregnant." Emily said, but no more tears came. She had cried so much she couldn't even cry anymore.

"Ok," Olivia said, grabbing her sister's hand, "We can figure this out. Why don't you go rest, you've had a rough few days."

Emily didn't want to sleep, but at the mention of it her body suddenly felt so heavy. She complied and walked to the room Amanda had let her sleep in that had been her sister's room. She had heard the expression that someone would sleep the second their head hit the pillow, but this would be the very first time it happen to her.