A/N: Guess who's still not dead! I want to apologize for the month-long wait, I didn't mean for this chapter to take so long to write. It's here now, though, so praise deh lord! xD I hope you enjoy reading this a little more than I enjoyed writing it, hahah Oh, also, thanks so much to everyone who has alerted and/or reviewed this silly thing! You guys make my day, thank you so much!
6.
Max woke up feeling strangely refreshed. She couldn't remember the last time she had slept all through the night and woken up actually rested and ready to face reality, instead of wishing for the sweet release of death in her sleep. 'God, that's morbid. Am I really this messed up?' She yawned as she stretched, unwilling to get out of bed just yet. She took a few moments to figure out if she had anything planned for that day; being Monday, it usually meant that she wouldn't be doing much else than going to class and studying. Or at least try to study while also drowning in the endless pit of darkness that was her mind. 'What the fuck, Max, stop. This is cringy, you're not a depressed emo kid.' She chuckled as she finally threw the bed covers off her and sat up, her hand immediately grabbing for her phone. An article she had once read was floating in the back of her mind, reminding her how bad keeping your phone so close to you during the night was and she could just about hear her mom's voice scolding her to always leave her phone in another room during the night or at least on her desk instead of right by her head.
There was a text from Kate, wishing her a good morning and reminding her the science assignment that was due the next day, 'thank you, Kate,'and a missed call from Warren who probably just wanted to see if Max would be up for watching some weird movie he had come across and felt the need to share it with her. She made a mental note to catch up with the boy sometime during the day, maybe have lunch with him and Kate, since she was beginning to feel bad for ignoring him all the time. Finally getting up, she also made a mental note to ask Kate or maybe Dana if they knew what the day before's fuss with Victoria was all about. If anyone other than Taylor knew, it would definitely be Dana. The girl, nice as she was, sure liked to gossip.
Max debated with herself whether she could afford to skip showering that day, but a look in the mirror and a hand through her matted, tangled hair told her not to. It was still early, not even eight thirty yet, so she had more than enough time to shower, maybe even blow dry her hair, something she hardly ever did, not necessarily because she didn't like it (she didn't), but also because most of the times she washed her hair she was either very late for class and couldn't waste any time in the luxury that was blow drying or because she did it very late at night and would rather sleep than wake up the entire floor with the obnoxious sound of her blow drier.
The hallway was quiet as she exited her room and shut the door softly, shower supplies in hand. only a couple of people seemed to be up already. Dana was definitely one of them as her door was already open and quiet talking could be heard coming from inside the room; Max decided not to investigate just yet as she turned to head to the bathroom. She couldn't help but let her eyes linger on Victoria's door just a second more than she normally would, however. With a roll of her eyes and a shake of her head, Max groaned and finally reached the bathroom, the humidity in the air hitting her as soon as she opened the door.
For the first time in the last couple of months, Max made it to class with time to spare. No lying in bed, covered up to her head, refusing to get up, no running in the hallways to reach the classroom twenty minutes after the lecture had begun… This time she made it there even before most of the students. And it felt good. Kate was there already; Kate was always the first one to arrive, Max had noted. The brunette walked towards her friend who was busy scribbling something down on her notebook, too busy to notice her.
"Hi," Max greeted as she took a seat next to the blonde.
Kate visibly jumped in surprise and let out a small yelp that made Max chuckle. "You scared me," she laughed as she looked at the girl next to her with a smile on her face.
"Sorry, I couldn't help it," she laughed again. "What are you doing?" she asked, her curiosity getting the better of her.
"Oh, just… doodling, I guess? I saw a cute little squirrel on my way here," Kate held up her notebook for Max to see, a small, proud smile adorning her lips. It always made her happy when she drew and it always made Max happy to see her friend smile like that.
"It's beautiful, Kate, it really is," Max smiled. "I bet Samuel would love it too," she added playfully, chuckling at her friend's slightly confused expression. "Because Samuel loves squirrels," she explained. "He's kinda obsessed with them, it's a little weird."
It was Kate's turn to chuckle, "I'll pay attention to that next time I see him." The blonde laughed as she closed her notebook and put it in her bag. "The bell is about to ring," she explained when she saw Max was about to ask her why she stopped drawing.
"Oh, right, better get to my seat."
"You can sit here if you'd like." Max stopped moving out of the chair, her butt hanging mid-air for a moment before she plopped back down. "No assigned seats means you can do that," Kate giggled as she pulled out her world history textbook and Max followed suit.
The class rolled by slowly with everyone taking notes and asking questions on that day's subject, Max doing her best not to let herself get too distracted this time. Algebra was next, and, before Max knew, the bell signaling that lunch time was right around the corner finally rang. Monday really was one of the most boring days of the week, filled with classes the brunette cared little about.
"Wanna go grab some lunch?" she asked the blonde who was sitting on the desk in front of hers. She was so happy that her and Kate shared almost all their classes; she couldn't imagine what it would be like if she had no one to talk to for an entire day.
Kate looked at her slightly surprised before she let a smile form on her lips and she nodded, putting her stuff carefully back in her bag. "It's been a while since you asked me that question," she commented as she stood up.
"I know, I'm sorry… I promise I'll be a better friend!"
"Max, are you kidding me?" she laughed as they made their way out of the classroom together. "You have been more than a good friend, you've been amazing! Don't sell yourself short, seriously." They both giggled at the evident blush that made its way on Max' face, the brunette relishing the feeling of happiness and relaxation that she finally felt.
Conversation was always easy between the two friends. Bitching about life was something they both enjoyed doing, and it proved to be just the thing Max needed. Kate too, apparently, as the girl hadn't laughed like that in months. They were in the middle of a discussion when Taylor and Courtney walked through the cafeteria doors having a discussion of their own; a seemingly heated one too.
"I wonder what those two are so worked up about," Warren placed his tray on the table across from Max and took a seat, his demeanor relaxed and cheery.
"Didn't take you for the gossiping type," Max commented playfully, knowing, however, that she too wanted to find out what was going on in their little clique.
"I'm not," Warren defended weakly making both the girls chuckle.
"Whatever it is, it's none of our business," Kate chimed in raising her shoulders.
"Seems it's at least one of us' business," Max commended quietly. "They're coming this way," she added.
It was Taylor who approached first, Courtney seemed less than happy to be there. Nothing was said as she handed Max a folded piece of paper, eyed her knowingly for a couple of moments, and then walked away with Courtney in tow, asking why they had to bring the "stupid hipster" into this. Max didn't quite catch Taylor's reply as she turned her attention to the piece of paper in her hands. It wasn't a note. If it was, Taylor would have just texted her, the girl was definitely no stranger to this. She slowly unfolded the piece of paper while trying to ignore the stares she was receiving from the other two people at the table.
"Prescott heir found dead in mental hospital room. " Max paled. She could faintly hear her friends' voices calling her name from somewhere in the distance, but she couldn't focus on that. 'This must have been what was up with Victoria last night…' she thought as her eyes scanned the rest of the article. Apparently, Nathan had wrapped his bedsheets around his neck in a makeshift noose and hang himself with it sometime late on Saturday night. Why Max was only now hearing about this was beyond weird. You would think someone would have taken it upon themselves to let her know that the person who killed her best friend was now also dead, but nothing of that sort had happened. On the bottom of the page the words "call me" were scribbled in what the girl assumed was Taylor's handwriting, underlined and accentuated with three large exclamation points.
Time started moving forward as Max remembered how to breathe again and she registered her friends' worried faces looking at her questioningly. She cleared her throat and blinked to clear her vision as she hastily folded the piece of paper before shoving it in her bag and turning her attention back to the half-eaten food in front of her.
"Um…" it was Warren the one who tried to break the awkwardness, albeit unsuccessfully.
"Yeah…" Max sighed. For someone who always liked to mingle in other people's lives, she was surprisingly private when it came to her own personal matters. "So…" she began once more. "I guess Victoria's behavior yesterday makes sense now," she said to Kate, the only person she had already spoken to about her kind of encounter with the queen bee of Blackwell. The blonde eyed her curiously but decided not to press the matter further and simply nodded. A couple of moments passed and Max quietly excused herself as she got up grabbing her bag and left, leaving her tray behind. She probably bumped into a few people on her way to the dorms, she could faintly remember muttering a half-hearted apology a couple of times, but it was all a blur in her mind.
She reached the dorms what felt like two hours later though she knew it was only about five minutes. She was about to knock on Victoria's door when she heard voices coming from inside the room. Max simply stood there for a few moments, trying to figure out what was going on inside the blonde girl's room; the discussion didn't sound all that pleasant and Victoria's voice had adopted that somewhat annoying high pitch it usually would when she was upset about something. The brunette stood there for a little while longer, not realizing that the talking had ceased until the door in front of her swang open, revealing a very… un-Victoria-like Victoria. Max stared at the girl in front of her for a second, her eyes red and puffy, her hair a mess, her makeup blotchy, mascara running down her cheeks, and her phone clutched in her hand so tightly her knuckles had turned white.
"What do you want, Shitfield?" Max winced, both because of the 'nickname' Victoria had just used, and because of the rawness of her voice. "Came here to boast? Rub it in my face?"
Max blinked in confusion, "what? N- no, I just… wanted to check up on you, that's all." True, she wasn't actually planning on talking to Victoria just yet, but she really did want to make sure the other girl was doing okay. "I heard about Nathan…" she said, ignoring the "I bet you did" that came from the blonde. "I'm really sorry," she offered. "I'm here to talk if you want to?" she cursed the uncertainty etched in her voice. Victoria was about to say something when the phone in her hand began to ring. She paled slightly when she glanced at the screen, her eyes briefly turning to look at Max before shaking her head and shutting the door. Her voice could still be heard as Max made her way to her room, the last thing that made it to her ears being Victoria arguing and then apologizing over and over again for something unknown to the young brunette.
Victoria sighed as she hung up the phone and plopped on her bed closing her eyes. She didn't want Nathan dead, of course she didn't; she wanted him cured. The boy needed help and she honestly thought he was getting it. Apparently, however, things never were as they seemed.
She cursed herself again and again for being such a coward, for never visiting, never even calling. The only news she had of Nathan was what she would hear from his father on the rare times he would write to her or send her one of his infamous messages, blaming her for not being there for his son. And yet she knew, deep in her heart that she was the only one really there for him. He was like a brother to her; a very weird, very troubled, very messed up brother. Then again, who wasn't messed up? She certainly wasn't one to talk, she was just as messed up as he was. Only she was able to hide it better. Her mask was simply stronger, his always had cracks on it.
She hated the way things were. Hated the people around her, but most of all hated her own self. Oh, her therapist would have a field day once she talked to him about her thoughts and feelings. She cringed; she hated going to that place. He got paid to tell her that she should try more, be better, and then he would give her a bunch of prescription pills that were supposed to make her feel more relaxed, to take away her anxiety, her pain, to make her… numb, unfeeling. She hated that. It had never occurred to her just how many things she hated, how much she wanted to change; about herself, about everyone really. When she had become so bitter, she had no idea. She only knew that her mask had begun slipping away and that was something she couldn't afford.
That- bitch Max Caulfield, she was the one that started it all. She had to be all nice and cheery even when the only thing Victoria did was be mean to her, bully her, and called her names. This wasn't how it was supposed to be; people weren't supposed to be nice to those who had been mean to them.
She moaned, feeling the beginnings of a headache drumming the sides of her head. She wanted to scream, she wanted to cry and she wanted to punch the world in the face. She also wanted to crawl into a ball and never have to interact with anyone ever again, but the constant ringing of her phone made it obvious that the latter was not going to happen anytime soon.
The funeral… A feeling of dread formed deep in the pit of her stomach and she could feel an invisible weight on her shoulders; she had to get ready for the funeral. It wasn't supposed to take place until the next morning, only two days after Nathan's death, but she knew she had to figure out what she was going to wear, she couldn't afford to leave that for the last minute. Her best friend was fucking dead and she was thinking about what clothes to wear so that her parents wouldn't be on her case about that as well.
She groaned loudly once more, despising everything and everyone around her. She was so fake and it all felt so surreal, like a strange dream. She didn't want to go. She hated funerals and she had a feeling she was going to hate this one most of all. Not only because it was Nathan's, the thought still felt foreign in her mind, but also because she knew just how phony and pretentious his parents were going to be. She was never a big fan of the Prescotts and the way they treated their only son and she simply knew that seeing them at the funeral was only going to make her detest them even more. To be fair, the Prescotts were never huge fans of her, either. They used to be until they realized she was more interested in supporting their son and going along with him instead of talking her parents into merging their companies; or, better yet, talking them into selling the Chase Space to them. Those people could have all the power in the world and they would still want more. Honestly, Victoria couldn't care less what Nathan's family thought of her. She only cared about being there for their son and she had failed so miserably at that, nothing mattered anymore.
She needed air, it felt like the entire room was closing in on her. The little orange bottle of pills laid half empty, forgotten on her bed. To think that only the morning before her biggest worry was for someone to find out about them, and now it was the least of her problems. Come to think of it, it wasn't even a problem. She mentally slapped herself for her blatant stupidity as she exited the room, the door closing softly behind her. She heard a door opening as she made her way down the steps, followed by a hushed somewhat familiar whisper, but she couldn't bring herself to care. It was getting too easy to simply ignore everything.
"Yes, V. Keep at it and you'll be fucking next," she muttered as her eyes turned to the sky, the clouds dark and menacing, ready to fall on her and devour her whole. Not that she would mind that at all...
A/N: So...? I'll be honest with you, guys, this definitely isn't my favorite chapter I've written. I don't know if it's because I've read it a bunch of times already, but something about it seems... kinda off. I dunno. Also, I wanted to write something lighter, happier if you will, I really did. But I can't escape the angst, I'm sorry! Hahah. Anyways, I still hope you liked it and are at least a little bit looking forward to the next chapter. Which, I assure you, won't take as long to be uploaded! Hopefully.