A/N: Did I say this was going to be finished by Christmas? Whoops, I meant Xmas 2k16, not Xmas 2k15. I'm not gonna lie, I got writers block (how does one make hens romantic?) and then my computer fucked up and I'm not a happy trooper. So! The return of the phone fics. Excuse the crappy work as I go sleep. It's 6:30 AM.
On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...
Three French Hens...
"Thank you so much for this, Lucy," Bisca Connell smiled gratefully.
"Oh, not a problem at all! I'm so glad I can help," Lucy grinned, shifting the strap of the overnight bag on her shoulder. Behind Bisca, Alzack Connell cooed at his adorable five-year-old, Asuka, spouting promises of an early arrival from their business trip.
"Again, we have a list of all the numbers you need tacked onto the fridge, and there's a pre-loaded, disposable credit card on the counter in case you two want to order something extra," Bisca said. Snapping her fingers, she added, "Oh! And Asuka is allergic to pineapples, so no matter how pouty she gets, no pineapples. On anything. If she does manage to sneak a bite or two somehow, there's anti-allergens in the medicine cabinet. Also-"
"Bed time is nine sharp, avoid watching anything other than the Toon Channel, Asuka can't sleep without her monster truck, and she needs a glass of cold milk prior to sleeping," Lucy recited. Bisca visibly deflated with relief, reaching out to squeeze the blonde's shoulder. "I'm so sorry, it's just…we don't leave her alone too often and, well…"
"You worry. It's perfectly natural," Lucy said, tilting to the side to wave at her charge for the next two days. "And Asuka is a sweetheart. I'm positive she'll be no trouble at all."
"Alright. Again, thank you so much for doing this on such short notice. Mira told us you'd be okay to babysit," Alzack approached the duo with Asuka on his shoulders. Asuka was busy braiding various strand of her father's hair, using strands to knot the bottom.
"I totally am. Also, I needed a break from my project. My group members need to learn to work on their own," Lucy said. Bisca sighed loudly, giving Alzack a soft look. "You remember out first group project?"
"The one where you broke Tyler Manning's nose for daring to ask you to his portion of the work?" Alzack smiled fondly at his wife. "I remember it vividly."
Lucy shivered. So this was the legendary Moulin Rouge. She didn't seem nearly as terrifying as the rumours in Crocus U made her out to be. Although, the aura she gave off did have a subtle tinge of something akin to 'danger, fuck off'. Shaking her head, Lucy held her arms out for Asuka, who gleefully scrambled off her father and into Lucy's comfortable embrace. "We'll be just fine, won't we?"
"Yeah, mommy! It'll be amazing! Lucy-nee and I can play Hungry Hippos!" Asuka exclaimed. Bisca giggled, leaning over to plant a wet kiss on her daughter's cheek. "Yes, you can, dear! Alright, now-Alzack? Alzack, stop crying."
"Asukaaaaaaaa! I'm going to miss you so much!"
"We'll be gone for two days, darling."
"So, what do you want to do, Asuka?" Lucy asked as the two settled down in the living room. The blonde eyed the room with envy. It was easily the size of half her apartment, and three times as neat. The fact that the sofa's springs didn't dig into her ass when she sat down was reason enough for her to make a mental note to thank Mira for suggesting her as babysitter.
"Do you wanna hear a story?" Asuka asked.
"Sure!" Lucy smiled, curling up on the sofa. Asuka's imagination was legendary, and her stories were often retold during group meetings, though it tended to end up like a game of telephone and half the information was forgotten and made up. That added to the fun of it all, however, so nobody really minded not hearing it from the horse's mouth.
"This neighbourhood is haunted," the little girl whispered conspiratorially. Lucy stiffened, resisting the urge to jump up and hide away in a closet with a chainsaw like she had done last year during Halloween. She hated scary stories. Loathed them with such a vengeance that it had become an unspoken rule not to start one with her near unless somebody was willing to be her 'squeeze-hand-until-broken' sacrifice.
How scary could it be, though? Asuka was five, Lucy reasoned, the scariest story she could probably tell was the ghost in the trunk in the woods story, and every kindergartener knew that one. Still, she grabbed a pillow and held it close to her chest. Laxus wasn't around for her to latch on to, after all.
"Oh? How so?"
"It only started this week, but every night, I hear scary croaking noises right around bedtime! They sound like this," Asuka tilted her head back and opened her mouth, letting loose a guttural croak that had Lucy's eyes twitching violently. It sounded like something straight out of the Grudge trilogy, complete with the creepy little girl on the couch. The Grudge was right up there with Mirrors in terms of 'nope, fuck that shit' movies she had been forced to watch. To this day, she still had to check under the covers for demonic little children, and she couldn't look into a bathroom mirror for longer than a minute, which was a pain in the ass when she needed to apply liquiliner.
"And then?" but Lucy was an author at heart and needed to know how the story ended. It was the only reason she had bothered with the Twilight Saga. No matter how many red pens she had wasted editing the many glaring errors.
"I asked the other kids, and they told me they heard it, too! Apparently, there was a robber who got beat up by Mr Vijeeter down the street for trying to break in, but his auntie is a magician who cursed this whole area with the ghosts of Christmas past, present, and future!" Asuka bobbed her head seriously.
Lucy felt her chest lighten in relief. So the whole story was just some twist on the classic 'A Christmas Carol'. Children didn't care much for the deep thought and intricate details of the original, so they needed to spice it up. She could understand that. It was the natural evolution of literature. Stories needed to adapt to the time and age group to appeal to everybody.
"Can I tell you a secret about the ghosts?" Lucy whispered conspiratorially, and bit back a smile as Asuka perked up and scrambled forward, bringing her little ear close to Lucy's mouth. "The ghosts only haunt those who don't believe in Christmas. Do you believe?"
"Yes!" Asuka declared, nodding her head furiously. Her brown eyes were wide and her mouth was set in a stubborn line as she continued, "I believe in Christmas, and Santa, and the elves and all of Santa's reindeer, and I believe that being good all year will get me lots of presents 'cause that's what mama told me!"
"Well then, you have absolutely nothing to worry about!" Lucy clapped her hands together. "Now. How about we get some dinner ready and watch a movie before bed?"
Asuka jumped off the sofa, dashing over to the TV cabinet and pulling out a small DVD case. "Can we watch Frosty?"
"I think that can be arranged," Lucy grinned, holding out her hand to escort her charge to the kitchen.
Putting Asuka to bed was a fairly easy task. All she needed was cold milk and a small bedtime story (Lucy had selected Sleeping Beauty this evening), and she was off into the land of dreams and lollypops, leaving Lucy with more than enough time to get some work done for her classes.
"Thesis time..." she yawned, reaching for her bottle of VitaminWater. Spark would definitely keep her awake long enough to come up with a thesis. Idly, Lucy turned the bottle upside down to read the description on the side. That was the thing she liked most about the drink-it was unique in its presentation.
Her attention was quickly diverted as her phone buzzed loudly on the table. Unlocking the screen, Lucy opened the text and smiled as the contact name popped up.
From: Dr Viv-ass
Hope you're still awake b/c you have a thesis to finish.
From: Dr Viv-ass
And you better not be mixing vodka and VitaminWater tg again
Rolling her eyes, she tapped out a quick reply.
To: Dr Viv-ass
Yes, Professor, I'm awake. No, Doctor, I'm not.
From: Dr Viv-ass
The snark is unneeded, Miss Heartfilia. If this were high school, I'd assign you detention.
In that moment, which Lucy would forever look back and cringe upon, Lucy's inner Cana awoke and took over.
Inner Cana was what Lucy affectionately dubbed her impulsive side. Almost as wild and sassy as her best friend, inner Cana would pop up at the most inopportune of times (like now) and say or do things so scandalous (like she was about to do) that it would put the real life Cana to mild shame (though this seemed well within real life Cana's boundaries).
To: Dr Viv-ass
Well, let's say you can still put me in detention, right now...how would you punish me ;)
Mortification didn't even begin to cover what Lucy was feeling at the present moment, but before she could send a hasty 'just kidding' with as many laughing emojis as permitted by her character limit, a soft croak caught her attention.
Blinking twice, the blonde bent down to her laptop and listened to the fan whirring in silence for the next minute to make sure it wasn't dying on her. Licking her suddenly dry lips, Lucy shut the screen and stood up, tip-toeing around the main floor to find the source of the noise.
"There's no way it's actually a ghost," she mumbled to herself as she inspected the kitchen. The stove was off, as we're the oven and the exhaust. The cabinets were secure, so it couldn't have been them, and all dishes were neatly put away. "I mean, Asuka told me that those were based off A Christmas Carol! Come on, Lucy, you're an adult woman-"
A loud groan and unearthly sqwack had her squeaking and dropping to a crouch in the kitchen. Fuck her earlier bravery, Lucy was horrible when it came to ghost stories, no matter how poorly executed they were. Normally, she would've resigned herself to sleeping on the sofa with a baseball bat, but there was Asuka to think about. She needed to stay calm so Asuka could stay calm. There was no need to incite unnecessary panic, after all.
A croak, louder this time, from above, had Lucy backing into a corner and pressing the back of her head into the wooden cabinets forcefully enough to distract her from the noise. She didn't know whether to cry out in fear or shame. She was a grown woman who specialized in the study of the human mind; she of all people should have had the logic to work through her fear, but she couldn't even muster the courage to stand up. Her legs felt like jelly and her hands were clammy enough to work up a layer of sweat on her phone screen, which displayed a new text from Erik-
"Erik," she breathed. Before she could think it through, she had pressed dial and brought the phone up to her ear, breathing slowly in an attempt to calm herself before she spoke.
"Heartfilia," Erik's smooth baritone filtered through the speaker. Immediately, a wave of security swept over her. Illogical, a small voice in het head mused, but for some reason, he was a great source of comfort to her. "I don't suppose you have a reason-"
"Could you come here?" Lucy blurted out. Silence answered her, punctuated by the occasional soft exhale from both parties. Clearing her throat, she said, "C-could you just...come, please? K-keep me company? I...I can explain just...please?"
"Yeah," he replied, something close to curiousity colouring his tone. "Is everything okay?"
"I...I don't know. Just...hurry?" Lucy asked meekly.
"On my way," Erik promised. Lucy exhaled shakily, a good deal of tension escaping her body. He was on his way. He would be able to talk sense to her. He had the more developed empirical mind, and he seemed to harbour no significant fear for the supernatural (though, knowing him, he probably scoffed openly at those who did). Erik would know what to do.
"I'll be waiting," Lucy said, hanging up and locking her phone. Squeezing her eyes shut to gather her wits about her, the blonde focused on creating the quickest route from her current position to the sofa, where she would probably wait until her saviour in the form of a disgruntled scientist arrived. It was at times like these where Lucy regretted doubting her math teachers when they said math would be useful in day to day life (though she had no idea how to calculate the slope of the line between herself and the living room...she was supposed to use that one, right?).
Nodding sharply to herself, she counted to ten and bolted up and put of the kitchen. Her socks skidded across the sleek floor, and she nearly collided with the wall in her haste to jump over the back of the sofa and land amongst the fluffy cushions. Squeaking in alarm, Lucy bit back a howl of pain as she clipped her hip against a particularly hard corner of the sofa as she vaulted over it. That would certainly bruise...
"Now we wait..." she mumbled, flinching as she heard another croak. She groaned in tandem with whatever unholy spirit haunted the house, and slammed a pillow over her head, settling in for what was probably going to be the longest wait of her life.
When the doorbell rang, Lucy leapt off the sofa and slid across the hardwood floor to the door. Within moments, it was swung wide open to reveal a rather surprised looking Erik. Lucy took one look at his barely covered form before dragging him in the house and brushing off the snow that had piled up on his shoulders.
"What the hell are you wearing?" Lucy scolded, holding him out at arms length. His sleeveless muscle shirt paired with sweatpants emblazoned with the Crocus U crest on one leg did very little to keep him protected from the elements. Erik rolled his eye, kicking off his boots and shuffling past her to the living room.
"Relax. I ran here," at her strangled screech of horror, Erik snickered. "Kidding. I caught a cab. It's just snowing really hard outside."
"You could get sick!" Lucy said, joining him by the fireplace. A pang of guilt started in her chest when she caught the barely noticeable tremor to his form. It was freezing, nearing twelve in the morning, and she had forced him up to a strange location because a five-year-old's ghost story had spooked her. "You've already got the concussion and ribs to worry about."
"Since when do I give a fuck?" he said as his eye scanned the photographs lined on the mantle. "So. What got you so freaked you needed to call?"
Lucy bit her lip, glancing down at her feet shyly. It seemed so stupid now. She had always been a jumpy person. Horror movies were ruined by her constant whimpering, and for hours after, she could be found in a terrified heap in a corner, glaring at shadows as if a monster were to leap out and claw out her throat. "N-nothing…it's just…this is gonna sound so stupid...Asuka was telling me about some alleged haunting in the neighbourhood, and I heard some noises..."
"You are such a fucking kid some times," Erik grumbled, striding over to the sofa and plopping down. He kicked his feet up on the coffee table and yawned. "No point in me going back, you'll just end up calling me again."
Lucy winced, settling down beside him. She longed to inch over just a little closer so she could feel the warmth his body was emitting. Though she had berated him for his poor clothing choice, she was hardly any better, what with her shorts and tank top combo. "Sorry. I just got freaked out and you were the first person to come to mind."
"I'm flattered," he said in a flat tone. Lucy would have thought he was being sarcastic had it not been for the red flush to his ears. He wasn't kidding. Shaking her head (and along with it passing thoughts of how cute he looked when embarrassed), Lucy asked, "So what were you up to before I called?"
"Preparing for a presentation at your school," he said. "I'm talking to one of the law classes about the use of science in the courtroom."
"When's this?"
Her need to know had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that she would put in an effort to look nice that day.
"Monday," Erik stretched out. Lucy watched with no small amount of shame as his shirt rode up, exposing what had to be the neatest happy trail she had seen in her life. Her eyes nearly bugged out of her head as she traced the fine lines of his v-cut, visualizing what lay hidden just beneath the hem of his sweatpants. She had been with her fair share of men, but none of them were close to as sculpted as he was.
"Lucy-nee?" Asuka whispered as she hobbled into the living room. "I'm hearing funny noises."
Lucy's brow furrowed as she made a shushing motion to both people in the room. Closing her eyes, she focused her attention to her hearing, tilting her head up and listening closely. At first, there was nothing but the sharp whistle of the wind, but the longer she listened, the clearer the sound became. A soft croak mixed with the louder whistles, occasionally overlapped by more croaks.
"That's the noise!" Lucy hissed. Erik sat up attentively, listening as well. "Doesn't sound like it's h-"
Lucy elbowed him sharply, making sure to avoid his injured ribs. Catching her warning look and the clearly scared little girl's watery gaze, he amended, "It doesn't sound like it's here. In the house. Outside, maybe."
"Can I sleep here?" Asuka asked. "I'll go to bed real quick, I promise."
"Sure, honey, I'll just grab a blanket-you already brought one? Okay, c'mon," Lucy scooted closer to Erik, patting the space next to her. Asuka trotted over, quickly scrambling up and cuddling close to her babysitter. Her tired eyes flicked up to stare at Erik, who met her gaze evenly. "Who're you?"
"I'm Cobra," he replied. "Lucy's friend."
"Cobra? Like a snake?" Asuka tilted her head. "Why would your mommy and daddy name you after a snake?"
"Who says I'm not a snake?" he challenged. "Maybe I'm just shapeshifting."
Lucy bit her lip harshly to avoid grinning like a maniac as the two stared each other down. Never in a million years would she have ever imagined that she would live to bear witness to her surly neighbour talking to a five year old with all the teasing nature of a caregiver. Though he wasn't smiling and his face hadn't softened any, she could see a little twinkle of mischief in his eye. It was kind of cute.
"Then if you're a snake, you can keep us safe from the ghosts," Asuka said.
"The...ghosts," he repeated.
"Of Christmas Past, Present, and Future," Lucy whispered over the girls head. Erik's eye widened marginally in understanding before it melted to vague annoyance. "You called me here because A Christmas Carol freaked you out? You of all people should know what the ghosts in the story were symbols of. And you of all people should know that ghosts don't exist. The noises are probably just the wind circulating between the gaps in the houses and creating a-"
A sharp sqwack interrupted the beginning of the mother of all lectures, and Lucy felt her stomach drop. That was in no way human or made by the wind. Asuka merely snuggled in deeper next to Lucy while the two adults exchanged looks of trepidation.
"Okay," the toxicologist muttered. "Not human, and not the wind. I'm not crying ghost, but-"
"The devil himself?" Lucy offered, hysteria edging at her voice. "Coming to drag us to hell for our copious sins?"
"I doubt you're old enough to have racked up enough sins to make it to limbo let alone the first ring. Me, on the other hand, I'm right down there in ring number nine."
Lucy scowled. The age thing had been funny at first, but now it was starting to bother her. Did he really just see her as some kid? She was twenty-one for crying out loud. He was only, what, twenty-seven? Six years older than her, and yet the way he kept bringing it up made it seem like it was sixty. She didn't want to be seen as some kid. She wanted to be seen as an adult, mature enough to be an equal in his eyes.
Lucy blinked as she realized that her companion was nowhere to be found in the living room. He must have gone off to investigate the source of the sound while she was lost in her musings. Looking down, her heart melted as she saw Asuka snore softly, opening and closing her mouth softly as if sucking at a bottle. The girl was just too adorable for her to handle! Idly, Lucy wondered what her own child would look like at that age. Brown eyes, probably, dark skin, maybe maroon hair...
The blonde slapped her hands to her cheeks quickly, hoping to will away her furious blush. Had she just visualized hers and Erik's kid? She'd only known him a few weeks! This was all moving far too quickly for her to process. She knew that simple physical attraction was normal, even if two people had known each other for less than a few hours, but this? This was...abnormal. She couldn't deny she was attracted to him, but that she was imagining their children? That she was going to lie about till her ancestors rolled themselves another six feet under.
"So," Erik dropped down beside her once more, causing her to start. "There doesn't seem to be anybody in the house, but I double-checked all the windows just in case. You know they have a gun cabinet here?"
"Yeah, Bisca and Alzack are retired army snipers. They design and develop guns for the military now, that's why they're gone for the weekend. They've been invited to a conference to promote their latest product," Lucy explained.
"Interesting," Erik said.
A heavy silence fell over the two. It wasn't awkward, but it was definitely something Lucy had no problems ignoring in the future. After several moments of this, Lucy yawned. Blinking back tears of exhaustion, she realized that it was close to 1:40 in the morning and she was nowhere near done her work.
"Sleep."
"Huh?"
"Don't do your work, it's not worth it if you can barely keep your eyes open," Erik said. He stretched his foot out and pushed the screen of her laptop down, staying in his slouched position after.
"Fine," inner Cana took over and Lucy found herself shifting Asuka so she lay on her lap, leaving Lucy with enough room to shift over and snuggle into his side. Her head rested against his shoulder, which was a somewhat uncomfortable place to rest as the bone dug into the side of her head. The heat he gave off made up for it.
Lucy squeaked when he raised his arm and draped it across her shoulders, drawing her into a much more comfortable position against his chest. She couldn't help but sniff his shirt. He smelt of a strong cleaning agent she couldn't identify, and while it normally would have bothered her nose she found it was tolerable.
"Sleep," he said again, and she felt a thrum of something hot sweep through her at the rumble of his voice through his chest. Gradually, the slow rise and fall of his chest and the steady beat of his heart lulled her into a relaxed enough state that she could drift off into blissful sleep.
Lucy awoke with a rather pressing concern.
One that was directly on top of her rather full bladder.
On one hand, Asuka looked as comfortable as anything curled up on her lap, and Lucy was loathe to disturb the little girl's sleep. On the other hand, she was going to pee on the sofa if she didn't make it to the bathroom within the next minute. After a whole five seconds of waffling between her options, Lucy stood up and placed Asuka on the sofa. She bit back a bark of laughter as the five year old immediately moved on to the next heat source; namely, Erik's lap.
Deciding to take a photo when she was relieved, Lucy scampered to the upstairs bathroom. If there was one thing she hated about this week the most, it was the fact that she was on her period. The constant need to urinate was the bane of her existence. That and the cramps. God, her cramps were the stuff of nightmares.
After changing her pad and cleaning up, Lucy strolled back down the hall to the stairs at a leisurely pace. Lethargy weighed heavy on her bones and contributed to her sluggish movements. She just wanted to close her eyes and drift off right there and then. It was so warm upstairs...
Croak.
Lucy froze.
Croak.
There it was again.
Swallowing thickly, she turned her head towards Asuka's bedroom. The door was ajar, and Lucy couldn't help but feel like she'd seen this somewhere before...
Right. That one horror movie about the box with weird objects in it and the random Polish poem.
"If moths come flying out of the room, I'm launching myself down the stairs," Lucy mumbled to herself. Steeling herself, she marched right up to the door and pushed it open. Spying a bat by the door, she picked it up and held it level to her head as she continued forth. Asuka's room was decorated beautifully, with the canopy bed as the focal point. The curtains were down, obscuring the objects on the bed.
"Alrighty then," Lucy looked at the window and was relieved to see that it was firmly shut. No home intruders through there.
Croak.
This time, the noise was louder. Much louder. As in multiple people in the room kind of louder.
God, she hated this week.
Turning around with the speed and grace of a snail, Lucy swore her heart and stomach switched places as she spotted the mother of all demonic silhouettes rising find behind the canopy curtains. Her bat dropped with her heart and she screamed so loud she was amazed that the windows didn't shatter from the impact.
It was huge. Like. Ten to the power of five multiplied by infinity squared huge. That might have been a bit of an exaggeration, but the point was, it was huge. It seemed like three lumps of something with two little wings from the topmost lump. Each of the blobs moved and fluttered, and they sqwacked and balked at her cry.
And then proceeded to split into three bodies.
"Lucy!" Erik burst in, a meat cleaver in one hand and Asuka in the other. The little girl screamed, thrashing until the toxicologist dropped her, and she ran to Lucy, who grabbed her and kept screaming.
"What the-holy fuck!" Erik swore. While on any other day she would've lectured him for his language in front of Asuka, she found that there really was no other way to properly express the sheer amount of 'what the fuck' that was going on.
"Kill it!" Lucy screeched.
"Make it go away!" Asuka wailed.
"Will you both shut the fuck up so I can hear myself think?!" Erik yelled.
"Erik! I let it go the first time because it was warranted, but there is a child in the room! Watch your language!"
"There is a literal demon in the bed and you're freaking out over my language?"
"Do you have any idea what'll happen to me if she says the f-word around her parents? They'll round up their army buddies and I'll end up as target practice for their latest guns!"
"Are you fucking kidding me right now?"
"You said it again! Can't you replace it with something else? Like strawberry!"
"I swear to f-strawberry God, once this is over I'm gonna drag your strawberry donkey to the psychiatrist's to get your head checked. What kind of normal human being gives strawberry lectures on language when Satan's left ballsack is trying to sing the opening theme to The Lion King with its strawberry tonsils ripped out?"
Lucy opened and closed her mouth like a fish as she watched him storm up to the canopy and rip back the curtains. Asuka's screams grew to sound-barrier breaking proportions, and petered off with a 'hah' as the demon was revealed.
Three massive hens leapt off the bed and out the door, leaving behind a trail of feathers and pink glitter in their wake. The trio blinked and stared at the door for a long minute before turning back to the bed to take in the sight of an alarmingly large canister of pink glitter open upon the sheets.
"...I'm not high, right?" Erik pointed to the door with the meat cleaver. "You...you saw the chickens."
"Hens," Lucy corrected faintly. "Yeah. I...saw the hens..."
"Do we eat 'em?" Asuka asked curiously. "They're chickens, right?"
"...I'm gonna go call Animal Control," Erik said.
"I'm going to go and change my underwear. And pants. And maybe also bathe. And find painkillers with a high enough dosage to render me unconscious for more than six hours so I can take this in."
Bisca and Alzack showed up just as the Animal Control van pulled put of the driveway.
"What happened?" Bisca asked Lucy as Alzack held on to his daughter, the both of them sobbing animatedly.
"There were three chickens in your house," Lucy said simply. "I don't know how they got there, but they did."
"Vents," Erik said as he joined her. "They got in through the vents. The animal control guy told me that they'd been sneaking into different houses on this block for a while now. All this Christmas food prep was getting them hungry."
"Who are you?" Bisca asked. Erik held out his hand as he said, "Dr Erik Vivas."
"I called him over when I heard the hens making noises," Lucy interjected. "I'm really sorry, but he's one of the only people that came to mind at the time."
"It's fine, Lucy," Bisca smiled at her. "I'm just glad that everybody is all right."
"What are you doing home so early?"
"Alzack," Bisca shot her husband a fond, if not exasperated, look. "Got separation anxiety from his little girl. We told the directors fuck it, we were coming home and that the product was pretty self explanatory. Worse comes to worse, the PowerPoint had detailed notes to examine plus pictures."
"So they can swear around the kid but I can't?" Erik muttered.
"Thank you so much, Lucy," Alzack walked up to them with Asuka in his arms. His suit was appropriately a mess, but he smiled brightly enough to keep them from paying too much attention. "We'll send you the rest of the payment in the mail. The whole thing. For dealing with the chickens."
"You don't need to-" Lucy began to protest. Erik's hand at the small of her back had her trailing off. "Thank you," he said in her place. "I'll take her home. Whatever you have of hers inside can be sent to her apartment."
After goodbyes were exchanged (Asuka had promptly fallen asleep), Lucy found herself strolling casually down the snowy streets with her grouchy neighbour at 4 in the morning.
"You were pretty brave today," Lucy teased, shoving him gently. "Bursting in with that knife."
"I heard you scream, what was I supposed to do, stare a wall till you stopped?"
"Maybe."
He scoffed.
Lucy stopped them under the dull light of a street lamp, shuffling her feet awkwardly. She ducked her head into the scarf he had purchased her the day they met, hoping to avoid his piercing gaze. Even with one eye the guy was intimidating. "Thank you. You were so much help this evening. I don't know if I could have..."
"It's fine," he grumbled. The blonde wasn't sure if the red on his cheeks was due to the cold or his own embarrassment. "Anybody could've done it."
Emboldened, Lucy marched over, threw her arms over his neck and kissed his cheek. His skin was colder than her dry lips, and when she pulled back she was amazed to see his face nearly three shades of red darker than before.
"You did a great job. Best protector ever," she smiled up at him affectionately. She dropped her arms from his neck to his arm, holding it captive to her person. Erik gave her a confused look as she said, "It's four in the morning and it's snowing. My very own Sleepless in Seattle."
Erik snorted, but let her hold onto his arm like it was a lifeboat on the Titanic.
"Hey, Bright Eyes?" he said as they crossed the street. "You remember how you asked how I'd punish you if it came down to that?" Lucy blushed deeply but nodded. She was hoping he would forget it, but alas.
"I would strawberry you up so hard you'd not be able to see straight for the weekend."
"Erik!"
"What?" he smirked. "I just meant I'd screw with your head. Did you think I meant...? Lucy's having impure thoughts!"
"You asshole!" she complained, stomping her foot and dropping his arm to cross hers over her chest. "You knew full well the implications of your words! You're just being an ass on purpose!"
"Donkey, Bright Eyes. There are children present," he mocked. Lucy's pout deepened and she stared at her boots fixedly. She squeaked when she felt her scarf unwind and one end be tugged up. Lucy's mouth popped open when she saw Erik wrapping one end of the scarf around his neck while adjusting hers with his other hand. At her look, he gave her a defensive glare. "What? It's cold!"
Lucy shook her head and wrapped her arms around his torso from the side. She refused to look into his eyes as she tugged him forward. "S-stupid Erik. We should hurry before you get sick."
"A little late for that," she thought she heard him huff, but that was quickly erased from her mind as his arm fell over her shoulders as they braved the cold streets. Lucy made sure to tighten her grip on his waist as she crossed the road.
He was so very warm, after all.
A/N: *awkward gun fingers* update! I'm off to sleep and cry now. I tried to make up for the no fluff by making the end super fluffy but I failed.
Also, yes, you're reading this right. I went from sxtrisoul to papalogia. I'm trash.
Night! Morning! Whatever!
I'll probably come back and super edit this in the morning but I can't sleep knowing that this is complete and not published.
ALSO-SPECIAL THANK YOU TO DREAMSOFBOOKSANDMONSTERS FOR LETTING ME USE HER COLU FANART AS A COVER FOR THIS! The entire last scene was based off of it, so go check her out on tumblr! She writes amazing fics, too!
-Touko