Chapter 18: The Parting

Regina felt Lillian squeeze her hand before descending the staircase; she had overreacted in her quarrel with Emma and wanted to make amends before they parted. The Queen smiled as she watched her daughter leave, happy to see her acting like her usual self again. The clock in the foyer chimed once, indicating that it was 11:30. Time's almost up, she thought to herself. She crossed the hall to her bedroom and closed the door behind her. She went to her closet, retrieved a box from the top shelf and withdrew a small leather case.

Her fingers tightened around the case as a sudden wave of frustration swept through her. She had been fighting these emotions since after breakfast when it was decided that she and Lillian would return to the Enchanted Forest alone. Each time it was the same: she felt sadness that she would be separated from her son, anger at the woman who kept them apart, guilt at her daughter s disappointment and frustration at the helplessness of her situation.

She closed her eyes and exhaled slowly through her mouth, a technique she had learned in therapy with Dr. Hopper. She had talked to Archie many times about these overwhelming feelings that often came over her, so much so that they coined a phrase to describe them: Evil Queen Impulses. He helped her recognize that these were the moments when she had a choice: to give in to these impulses and do what the Evil Queen would do, or resist them and do what Regina would do. At first she had scoffed at the idea, it seemed ridiculous to think of herself as two people, but as she tried it she came to see that it was true. She had to choose between two parts of herself, two paths, and it was moments like this when those paths were clear.

Fighting her Evil Queen Impulses this morning had not been easy; it never was when Henry was involved. She wouldn t say she had been avoiding him for the past hour or so, but she had definitely been keeping her distance; not because she didn t want to spend time with him, but because she didn t trust herself to resist what she was being tempted to do. The Evil Queen would never have sat there and let Emma Swan tell her that she had to leave her son behind; she would have taken him and Lillian and gone through the portal before the Charmings knew they were missing. After all, she had rationalized, I am their mother. Who is Emma to decide everything Henry can and can't do?

That was what hurt the most: that Emma didn t even discuss it with her; she just decided that Henry would be staying. Even after what she had done the day before, Emma still didn't trust her. What else do you want from me? What more do I have to do to earn a say in my son's life? The unspoken question brought tears to her eyes.

Even though it had been difficult, she had resisted and said nothing to Emma about the subject. She knew that realistically, abducting Henry and taking him to the Enchanted Forest with her and Lillian would not yield the results that she wanted. Henry would be hurt and angry with her and she never wanted to see those emotions directed at her through his eyes again. So, she had let it go; deciding that it was for the best, and turned her focus to getting Lillian to safety. And then Emma struck again! When Lillian burst through the door upset Miss Swan very nearly found herself on the receiving end of a nasty curse. It had taken great effort for Regina to restrain herself; another wave of anger swept through her at the thought of it. But once again, her children helped her resist. She knew that lashing out at Emma would not get her what she wanted or make her children happy; it would only drive them away from her and make the Charmings distrust her again. The best thing she had going for her was that they respected what she had done in defeating Cora and defending Storybrook, and she couldn't toss that all away in a moment of weakness.

Taking another deep breath in through her nose, and out through her mouth she felt the anger leave and she was able to think clearly again. She recognized that her children were the key to her transformation from bad to good. She wanted to be someone they could love, and trust and to do that she had to get along with the rest of the family; that was absolutely certain. She may not care much for David or Snow or Emma but her children loved all of them, and so she would have to find a way to make it work; anything for Henry and Lillian.

A soft knock at her door pulled her away from her thoughts. "Come in."

Henry peered around the door, not wanting to disturb his mother. She could see in his eyes that he was hesitant to enter the room; probably because he was worried that she was plotting something against Emma.

"Henry, I was just thinking about you. Come in!" She tried to sound as cheerful as possible to ease his worries.

She met him between the doorway and the bed and put her arm around his shoulders, guiding him to the edge of her bed. "I wanted to give you something." They both sat down and she handed the leather case to him.

Henry visibly relaxed as his curiosity overcame his anxiety. He examined the case, "What is it?"

"It's something I have been holding on to for many years. Now seemed like the right time for you to have it."

The boy unfastened the latch and felt inside. His eyebrows rose as he felt smooth metal with his fingertips and removed the treasure from its case. In his hand was a gold ring with a large oval shaped piece of amber in the center and delicate etchings along the band. When he held the ring up to the light he could see an image in the center of the amber; it was an apple tree, amazingly detailed for how small it was, and the trunk of the tree looked like a knight s sword.

"Cool," he whispered with a smile as he continued to inspect the ring.

"I had this made when I was pregnant with Lillian, along with a matching locket which I gave to her and this necklace for me. She held up the pendant that hung around her neck. We each have something that can remind us of each other; our family." Henry looked up at his mother s necklace and then back down at his ring before slipping it onto his middle finger. "Even though we will be apart, we can still feel connected every time we see these."

Henry stared at the ring. Tears began to blur his vision and his throat felt tight with emotion; he swallowed hard and sniffed once. Regina could tell he was close to tears. She put her arm around him again, "Oh, sweetheart." He turned toward his mother and wrapped his arms around her as the tears began to flow. She tried to soothe him while tears poured down her own cheeks; the sudden rush of emotion bringing her Evil Queen Impulses dangerously close to the surface. She held her son tighter as if his presence in her arms could keep them at bay.

"I want to come with you," he sputtered.

Her defenses weakened slightly at his emotional plea. "I know. I know." In through the nose, out through the mouth. The temptation to take Henry and run was still nagging at her but she stayed strong. He would hate me for it, she reminded herself. Lillian would be so disappointed and Emma would never trust me again.

He was growing up so quickly, and yet sometimes he still seemed like a little boy. They had slowly been growing apart for the past few years, so his show of emotion just then touched her heart and made her feel oddly happy. She could see that some of the damage that had been done to their relationship had been repaired, enough that he would truly miss her; and that meant the world to her. Henry was quieting a bit and she felt her resolve returning. She pulled back slightly and lifted his chin so she could see his face.

"I know how much you want to go to the Enchanted Forest, and I know that it will be hard to be apart, but I promise you that it won t be for long. As soon as Emma comes back from helping Mr. Gold you will all come there with Lillian and me. And then we ll be able to have adventures and you can be the hero you ve always wanted to be."

Henry sniffed and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. He nodded, understanding that he had to wait.

Regina smiled at her son and smoothed his hair before kissing the top of his head. "That's my boy."

Another soft knock at the door made them both look up. David gently pushed the door open, "Sorry to interrupt, but Emma's leaving if you want to come say goodbye."

"Of course, we ll be right down." Regina smiled at the prince as he turned to leave. She and Henry cleaned themselves up and joined the others in the foyer.

Emma stood in the foyer with Lillian and her parents; her mother had been fussing over her all morning, wanting to make sure she had everything she needed, and now it was time to say goodbye. Emma hated goodbyes, she had endured so many in her life, but she didn't hate them for the same reasons other people did. For her goodbyes usually meant starting over, building a life from scratch again. She wasn't used to having people who loved her, and depended on her; people who she could come back to. This goodbye was different. She had a family now, a real family, and leaving them was harder than she thought it would be.

As Regina and Henry joined the group gathered near the front door Emma tried to judge by the Queen's face whether she was angry or not. Regina was stoic as usual, and Emma couldn't decide either way. She reached out and touched Lillian's arm warmly, happy that they had smoothed things over. "Hey, don't learn too much magic without me."

Lillian laughed softly, "You'd better hurry then; I'm a fast learner." Emma smiled and pulled the girl into a hug.

Henry was the next in line. Emma bent down and looked her son in the eyes, "I'll be home soon, ok?" Henry nodded and hugged his mother and she spoke softly into his ear, "Everything is going to be ok. "

Regina stood next to Henry, her face showing very little emotion. The two women stared at one another for a few seconds, neither one sure of what to say. Emma spoke first, "I ll try to hold him off as long as I can."

Regina understood that as Emma's attempt to make peace; the promise to protect Lillian and an apology for the situation. "Thank you. Be careful Miss Swan." She smiled softly, trying to convey that she accepted.

The blonde returned the smile. "You too."

As Emma turned to walk away Regina called her back, "Emma," she turned to face the Queen again. "Bring our son to me, please."

Emma couldn't believe her ears; she knew how hard that must have been for Regina to say. The argument about who was really Henry's mother had always been fierce between them. She appreciated the gesture and wanted to reciprocate, "I will, I promise."

Regina smiled again, a little bigger this time, and Emma moved on. Snow hugged her daughter tightly. "Call me when you get there, ok?"

"Alright," Emma agreed obediently. She looked around at the group one last time before turning toward the door David held open for her. As they made their way down the front walk Charming put his arm around his daughter's shoulders affectionately. He would drive her to Mr. Golds shop and make sure they got on the road ok; because that's what dads do, she thought. And at that moment she couldn't have been happier to have her's with her.