A/N: It's only a few weeks after Easter so... Happy New Year, y'all! Have a Christmas-y chapter in the middle of spring! Hope you enjoy the angst-infused eggnog *heart emoji* (ffn should really get its shit straight and let us type the heart emoji tbh)
~greyfox158: Thank you! And I hope you liked the chapter ^^
~ecoolasice: Haha, I'm sorry, I can't help myself! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing, though, I'm really glad you like it!

Max had no idea what had happened. There was no yelling, no banging of doors, and definitely no Chase matriarch bursting into Victoria's room threatening to kill her as she expected. It had all been a blur of fast movements and hushed voices and now Max found herself back in her room, trying to piece everything together. She was still mulling everything over in bed when her mother had knocked on her door, letting her know that she should get ready because it was getting late and everyone would be there soon to celebrate the new year. Being in a house filled with people was the last thing Max wanted, but she knew there was no way out of it.

It wasn't as bad as she thought it was going to be. People began arriving at about ten o'clock and Max was actually excited to see some of her cousins again after having lost touch since probably the Christmas prior. She was no social butterfly, but she still enjoyed catching up with people closer to her age. She spoke briefly to her aunts and uncles about school, which was one of the two subjects they always seemed to care about, and she had somewhat skillfully managed to avoid talking about the second topic of interest, her love life. Why everyone was so hellbent on finding out about something like that, she could never understand. Which was exactly why she never let anything slip out of her mouth. It was a little after eleven when the doorbell rang once again.

"Are we expecting anyone else?" Max asked as she looked around the room, trying to see who was missing.

"Your uncle Pete isn't here yet, but I don't know if he's coming. He never called me back," came Vanessa's room from the kitchen. "Why, is someone at the door?" she asked walking out of the room, a bowl of… something in her hands.

"I'll go check," Max simply stated as she made her way to the front door, mentally preparing herself for the forceful hug her father's brother was known for. She was prepared for the wrong thing. Her brows furrowed in confusion as she swung the door open, words failing to come out of her mouth.

"Hey," came the greeting after a tense moment of silence, snapping Max back to reality.

"H- hi, Victoria, hi. I uh… What are you doing here?" Her question didn't sound the way she intended it to and she cringed.

"I can go," Victoria arched a perfectly shaped eyebrow.

"What? No, no, that came out wrong. Come in!" Max shook her head vigorously and stepped aside to let Victoria in the house.

"Sorry I come not bearing gifts," the blonde said as she took off her coat. "I didn't exactly have enough time to go shopping," she explained and frowned at the weird sound of dismissal Max made.

"We don't care about presents here," she replied after clearing her throat, hoping the moment of embarrassment hadn't caused her to blush.

"Who is it, Maxie?" The girls had only taken a couple of steps in the house when a voice rang out from the kitchen. "If it's your uncle Pete tell him to get some decent manners and let people know when he's actually going to show up!" she continued, knowing fully that, whoever the new arrival was, could hear her perfectly. Max chuckled.

"Either uncle Pete has changed a lot since I last saw him, or that's not him," she joked as she and Victoria walked in the kitchen.

"Victoria, hi!" the woman's face split into a smile as soon as her eyes landed on the blonde. "How are you, darling?" She hastily put down the spoon she was holding and moved to give Victoria a tight hug. One that the girl had been expecting, given it had happened every time she had seen the woman since her first time over at the house.

"Hello, Mrs. Caulf- Vanessa, sorry," she laughed softly. "I'm so sorry I dropped in unannounced, I texted Max a couple of hours ago but she never replied."

"Way to throw me under the bus," came Max' mumbling, but went ignored by both women. "In my defense, my phone is upstairs charging, there's no way I could have heard it."

"Always ready with an excuse this one," Vanessa laughed. "Nevermind that now, it's really good to have you here, Victoria," she smiled a smile that reached all the way to her eyes and Victoria knew she was being genuine. "Off you go now, you two. I have a feeling you don't exactly want to spend the night in here," the woman continued shooing the two out of the kitchen. "Oh, and be sure to try the eggnog, it's a family recipe!"

"My mum must really like you if she's offering you eggnog just like that," Max said as she led Victoria to the living room. "It took me ages to get her to let me taste it," she grumbled. Victoria was about to answer when a guy came barreling towards them and wrapped his arm around Max' shoulders making the brunette roll her eyes.

"Yo, Maxine, who's your friend?" he said grinning. He had to be one of Max' cousins, Victoria guessed. The family resemblance evident but not too strong.

"Fuck off, Dan, we're busy," Max laughed as she shoved the boy away. It was obvious, from their playful banter, that they were pretty close to each other. "We'll call you if we need someone to mansplain us anything." This caused the guy to laugh as he stepped away and turned to leave.

"Alright, well. You know where to find me."

"Mum has locked the liquor cabinet this year!" Max yelled after him before turning to face Victoria. "Sorry about that," she apologized feeling slightly awkward. "It's my cousin, Daniel. He's… well, you saw how he is. Last year, he managed to go through two bottles of scotch by himself. That's why the drinks are locked away this year," she explained, causing a smile to appear on Victoria's lips.

"You know," Victoria started, "I never really thought about it in the past, but it makes sense that you come from one of those families. You know; loud and obnoxious." She laughed and Max followed suit, knowing that the words meant no harm. "You're like a whole different person around them, Max. So open and… happy. It's a nice change." Max felt a blush make its way to her cheeks. Maybe Victoria didn't pay any compliments too often, but when she did, she really knew how to do it. Max wished she could say the same about Victoria's family too, but the brief moments she had seen the girl's mother were more than enough to show that it was the exact opposite for the blonde. "Where's papa Caulfield?" she asked after a moment of silence. "I have lots to say to him after last time." Max' eyes squinted in confusion at that.

"Is this still about the hockey teams?" she asked and let out a groan at Victoria's nod. "Keep this up and he'll invite you to a game with us just to show you how wrong you are," she chuckled. "Anyways, he's in the living room I think, probably talking hockey with uncle John. You do not want to get in the middle of that conversation, though…" Victoria's eyes gleamed slightly at that.

"Oh?" She crossed her arms in front of her chest and raised an eyebrow. "And what do I want to do?"

"Uh… Hang out with me instead? I've been told I'm pretty decent company."

"You're okay, I suppose," Victoria chuckled. "Come on, Caulfield. Let's break into the liquor cabinet."

"Wait, what?" Victoria had already begun walking away by the time Max had processed her words. "No, Victoria, wait!" she chased after her.

They didn't end up breaking into the liquor cabinet. Victoria had been joking, apparently, costing Max at least five years of her life in the process. It was almost midnight when they found themselves outside by the front door, sitting on a porch swing, glasses of eggnog in hand. Eggnog that Victoria could have sworn had copious amounts of alcohol in it but decided not to say anything.

It was nice. The darkness that was only broken by the flashing Christmas lights that decorated the houses, the voices and the music coming from all around, loud enough to be heard but not too loud to be annoying, the laughter… Victoria couldn't remember the last time she had spent New Year's like that. She couldn't even remember if she had ever spent New Year's like that. With her family, New Year's always meant a white Christmas tree to match with the apparent theme of the house, no other unnecessary, according to her parents, decorations, and a hasty "Happy New Year" when the first fireworks were heard, signaling the change of years. This, however, was nothing like that and she found herself anxiously waiting for the cliche, albeit most welcome countdown that was fastly approaching.

Max had tried to talk about Victoria's family again, but she learned that the subject was a no-no as the blonde had shot her down more than once. She had apologized again for her behavior that very morning, however, and she had briefly explained that her mother hadn't realized there was anyone else in the house after all. She had apparently been fighting with her husband, again, as the blonde had clarified, so she had walked right past the kitchen and straight to the carafe of wine she kept in the living room, making it all the easier for her daughter to grab anything that was out of place without the woman noticing. 'So that explains the lack of yelling…' Max couldn't help but think as she listened to Victoria speak.

"I kinda want to ask how come you're not spending today with them but… I feel like I shouldn't do that."

Victoria chuckled. "Leave it to Maxine Caulfield to ask something even when she feels like she shouldn't."

"You're not gonna stop calling me Maxine, are you?" Max teased, but it was obvious from the look she gave Victoria that it was a genuine question and the blonde's eyes softened at that.

"I will if it really bothers you…"

"You can call me Maxine if I can call you Tori," Max bargained causing Victoria to gasp dramatically, a hand on her chest.

"You wouldn't!"

"Try me." The blonde was about to reply when the door suddenly swung open, making them both jump in surprise.

"Max!" came Dan's voice as he walked outside. "Quit smooching your girlfriend and come inside." He laughed as Max' face went beet red. "It's almost time for the countdown."

"She's not my girlfriend," she half-yelled and got up, leaving Victoria to follow. "And we're not… smooching," she muttered as she made her way inside, head bowed in an attempt to hide her blush.

"She means we're not smooching right now," Victoria stated as she walked past Dan and winked at him, causing his jaw to go slightly slack.

The countdown was everything Victoria had seen in the movies. Everyone was gathered in front of the TV, glasses in hands and huge smiles adorning their faces; some, like Daniel who had apparently had one too many glasses of eggnog, more flushed than the others. Victoria looked to her left and smiled at how Max seemed to be beaming, her eyes glued to the screen. She must have sensed someone watching her, however, cause she raised her head and threw a wide smile at the blonde who found herself returning it in equal intensity. Just as the countdown started, Victoria felt a hand slip in her own and squeeze it slightly. As everyone around yelled "one", the lights were suddenly turned off and everyone started clapping and laughing, wishing a happy new year to no one and everyone at once.

"Hey," Victoria felt a tug where Max' hand was still clutching her own. She grinned at the brunette and felt her breath hitch as she saw her move closer. If she was being honest, she did expect to get a midnight kiss, but she thought she would be the one to initiate it as Max didn't exactly seem the type. She was wrong though, she realized, as she found herself being pulled slightly downwards, her lips meeting Max' halfway. It was brief and chaste and oh-so-tender; Victoria felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. And based on the stuttering breath that had escaped Max' lips, the shorter girl had probably felt the same as well.

"Happy new year," Max smiled when green eyes fell on hers, her voice soft.

Victoria smiled back, her hand squeezing the girl's gently. "Happy new year, Caulfield," she replied, her forehead resting on Max' for a brief second. They blinked and pulled apart when the lights turned back on and everyone started moving around, hugging and kissing and wishing. It was a whole new experience for Victoria, seeing family members being so close to one another. She saw Vanessa and Ryan hug their daughter tightly, their eyes shining with all the love in the world and the blonde knew that that was exactly what Max deserved. Suddenly, she too found herself being pulled into a hug, one which she managed to relax into after only a second. The Caulfields both wished her a happy new year, their eyes so warm and welcoming, she wasn't sure she had actually earned any of it. She did enjoy it, however, she wasn't going to deny that. Just like she wasn't going to deny that, now more than ever, she really hoped this was going to be a happy and good year.

It was almost three o'clock when Victoria decided it was time for her to leave the Caulfield household. She denied Vanessa's -and Max'- offers for her to stay the night since it was already really late and it would be dangerous for her to go back now, saying how she would just call Clint to drive her home.

"It is his job, after all." She stood at the door, putting on her jacket as she waited for the tell-tale sound of the family's car horn. Max stood slightly behind, watching her with a frown on her face.

"I still don't like it," she stated, but she knew there was little she could actually do about it. If Victoria was anything, that would be stubborn.

The blonde smiled. "Look, I'll text you as soon as I get home, okay?"

"Fine. But if you don't, I'll drive over there myself and kill you." Victoria laughed, but she knew there was some truth in the other girl's words. Not on the killing part as much as the driving over in the middle of the night part. It seemed like something Max would actually do. Not too long after, Clint was outside, the soft sound of the car horn signaling his arrival.

"Well, that's me," Victoria smiled once again. "Thanks for having me, Caulfield. It was actually really nice being here." She ignored the part of her brain telling her to go in for a kiss and took a step towards the door instead.

"Thanks for coming, Chase," Max chuckled. Her own brain telling her to move for a hug, which she clearly did. She let her lips curve upwards as she wrapped her arms around Victoria and heard her breath hitch just for a second, before feeling the hug being returned.

"I should go," the blonde mumbled after a few, too short in her opinion, moments. "Say bye to you parents and thank them for me, okay?" she smiled and walked out the door, hearing it shut behind her as she got in the car.

(Victoria 03:48): Thanks again for tonight, Maxine. I wouldn't be too opposed to repeating it ;)

It was almost an hour later when Max' phone finally lit up with an incoming text, and the brunette felt relief wash over her. She hadn't even realized how actually worried she was. She groaned at the name and quickly changed Victoria's name on her phone before typing her reply.

(Me 03:50): Well, Tori, maybe I wouldn't be too opposed to that either. We'd have to wait a year tho lol

(Tori 03:50): Don't.

Max snorted. She quickly took a screenshot, circled the name, complete with a crown and a bee emoji right next to it, and sent it to Victoria who, surprisingly enough, didn't respond right away like she usually did.

(Me 03:52): Too late :3

(Tori 03:55): Fuck you, Shitfield

(Tori 03:55): What even are those emojis, you hipster trash?

(Me 03:56): It's a crown and a bee, duh. I thought it was pretty obvious

(Tori 03:57): Don't be surprised if I never speak to you again

(Me 03:58): Goodnight to you too, Tori ;)

Victoria never replied after that and, as the next day rolled by, Max had begun to believe that the girl would, in fact, never speak to her again. And for the next three days, she didn't.

Max had brushed the first couple of days off, thinking something must have come up for Victoria to not text her at all. She could feel worry in the pit of her stomach, but she pushed it away. It wasn't like Victoria had any obligation to talk to her all the time, right? She was officially really worried by day three. She decided to send a quick, kind of generic text just to make sure everything was okay, but it had gone unanswered. Just like the next few messages she sent. By the end of day three, Max was beyond worried and beyond angry. It was only a few hours before they had to leave and return to Arcadia Bay, and she hadn't spoken to the blonde since New Year's. Her parents, ever the observant ones, had noticed that something was going on, but had dropped the Victoria subject after a few failed attempts to get their daughter to talk to them about it.

Packing her suitcase consisted of her throwing clothes inside while muttering intelligibly, Victoria's name sometimes clear among the rambling, usually accompanied by some not-so-nice characterizations that, under normal circumstances, would never even be in the brunette's mind. Suddenly, and just as she was about to sit on her suitcase and zip it shut ('maybe I should have actually folded the clothes after all…'), her phone chimed and she froze. She forced the bubbling feeling of excitement down and deliberately walked slowly towards the device. No matter how little she told herself she wanted it, she was still hoping that the text was indeed from Victoria. It was. The wave of relief she had felt the moment she read the name was quickly replaced by what felt suspiciously close to anger. Swallowing the lump that had formed in the back of her throat, the brunette tapped on the notification. She wished she hadn't done that, however, as she suddenly found herself wanting to throw her phone away and scream in frustration. There was no apology for her to read, not that she really expected that from the other girl, but she still harbored some hope. No, what she read instead was a short sentence that did nothing to either calm her worries or her anger.

"Well, fuck you too, Victoria," she muttered as she turned her phone off and chucked it away.

(Tori 22:16): See you on the plane

Max audibly huffed as she saw the familiar blonde hair of the girl sitting in the window seat, earphones already in her ears, her head turned to look outside. She threw her bag on the empty aisle seat causing Victoria to jump slightly and turn to look at her. There was a sad look in her eyes, but Max was not about to start feeling sorry for her. Not before she got an explanation anyway.

Neither of them spoke as Max struggled to push her carry-on in the compartment overhead. The silence continued to add weight on them as she sat down and fastened her seatbelt. She could feel Victoria following her with her eyes, but she made a point not to look at her.

"I'm surprised you didn't change your seat," the brunette finally said a couple of minutes after they had taken off, her head never turning to the side, seemingly too busy messing with her phone to actually look at the person next to her.

"I could say the same about you," Victoria mumbled as she once again turned to stare out the window.

"I'm not the one who avoided you like the fucking plague for days." There was no emotion evident in Max' voice and it made Victoria cringe.

"Yeah, well…"

"Are you shitting me, Victoria?" Max' head snapped towards the blonde for the first time since she saw her, her voice bordering to yelling. "That's it? That's all you have to say? Victoria if I did something, I deserve to know what it was. And if I didn't, then I deserve to know what the fuck happened." Her voice was hushed now, but that didn't mean it was calmer in any way.

"What do you want me to say, Max? That I'm sorry? Well, I am. I'm sorry, you didn't do anything, it was all me. And I'm sorry I didn't text you or talk to you or... " the blonde took a deep breath in an attempt to gather her thoughts. "You deserve better," she settled on saying a moment later.

Max felt conflicted. She wanted to press on, insist until Victoria broke and told her what had happened, but the way Victoria spoke to her, it made her rethink that. The girl seemed sad and withdrawn, nothing like her three-days-ago self.

Max sighed and put her phone away. "Do you… Do you maybe wanna talk about it?"

"Talk about why I'm such an asshole? This is hardly the time for any kind of self-deprecating discovery."

"Talk about anything that's bothering you," the brunette clarified with a roll of her eyes. "Just cause I'm mad at you, doesn't mean I can't listen… Or that I don't want to."

"You're too good for this world, Maxine," Victoria let out a soft laugh. "Careful. It'll eat you up in the end."

"Um… You're kind of scaring me, so…"

"I finished up the essay parts of our assignment," Victoria said instead, her attempts to change the subject too obvious to go unnoticed. "I also figured that for the 'no' parts, instead of just writing down how many people refused to have their picture taken, we could use the shots of us after we were denied taking a photo. Simply stating that people said no to us isn't the same. We could easily cheat at that. I know we don't have ten 'rejection photos' of us, but we do have three each so we only need four more. I'd understand if you don't want to go out and work with me, so I thought you could ask Kate to come with you maybe and I could ask Taylor or something."

Max was left staring. 'What the fuck…' "Uh... sounds good...? And I don't mind working with you," she said a second later, when her brain started working again. "And wouldn't asking other people to help up be cheating too?" she went along with Victoria, deciding not to push her any further for the time being and locking all her questions and anger away for when they were in a less public place.

"It would. But it would also make sense if you didn't want me as a partner."

"If I was fine with you as a partner during that science assignment when you actually went out of your way to sabotage me, I'm definitely okay with you as a partner now." Victoria laughed a little at the obvious attempt at a joke.

Victoria's phone went off the moment they landed. She took one look at the screen before groaning and shoving it in her purse, clearly not wanting to talk to whoever was looking for her. She ignored Max' curious stare as they both stood up and went to grab their carry-ons.

"So… Are we taking the bus or…" Max shuffled her feet awkwardly as the two waited for their luggage by the carousel.

"Taxi," Victoria stated, her eyes glued to the screen of her phone, her features slightly distorted by a frown.

Ten minutes later, the two girls were sitting on the back of a taxi, well on their way back to Blackwell. It was Monday and only then did it occur to Max that they had just skipped an entire day of classes. She let out a quiet laugh at the thought. They had photography on Mondays and she was certain Mrs. Hault was going to ask everyone about their progress on the assignment. Had Victoria purposely arranged their trip so that they would have a little extra time to work without the teacher breathing down their necks?

"What?" came the blonde's voice suddenly, accompanied by a raised eyebrow.

"Nothing, I just… Thought of something." Victoria was about to say something when her phone went off again. She took looked at the screen and immediately turned it off, ignoring the annoying buzzing. "Whoever it is, they really wanna talk to you," Max commented in a nonchalant tone.

"It's Taylor, she can wait until we get back." It wasn't Taylor, Max knew as much. Victoria never frowned when Taylor called her.

The next time her phone went off, they were only five minutes away from the campus. With an exasperated mutter, Victoria decided to pick up this time and, if Max had her doubts about the caller actually being Taylor, she now knew that it definitely wasn't.

"What?" Victoria's voice was hushed and obviously tense and annoyed. "I was busy... Well, I picked up now... Are you fucking kidding me? No, who gave you the fucking right?... I'll call him when I want to. You know what, maybe I won't call him at all, see how that goes!" Max frowned as she listened to only one end of the conversation Victoria was having. "Yeah, you lost that right when you called me a dyke." The brunette's eyes widened, a gasp escaping her lips. She looked away in an attempt to not draw attention to herself. "I don't care what you think is right, if you think I'm gonna listen to you, you're fucking deluded." The voice on the other end of the phone could still be heard as Victoria groaned and hung up.

"So… I'm guessing that wasn't Taylor."

"What gave it away, Sherlock?"

Max simply rolled her eyes. "Wanna maybe talk about it now? Is that… Is that the reason why you've been so distant?"

"You mean why I've been such a huge jerk and ignored the shit out of you for three days after everything that happened?"

"Hey, your words, not mine," they both chuckled slightly. "But yeah, that's basically what I mean."

"I don't think we're in the right place for a talk like this," Victoria stated and let her eyes look away from the girl next to her.

"O- oh, yeah, okay. I just- I thought you… we… Yeah, I get it," Max finally managed to say after stumbling on her words for what felt like an eternity.

"I mean the actual place, Max," Victoria clarified with an amused look on her face. "The taxi, not our relationship." She froze. She tried hard to find the right words to help her backpedal, but she couldn't come up with anything. "We should talk about it later," she settled, relieved when Max nodded and didn't press on.

Max' eyes snapped open at the sound of someone knocking on her door. She had no idea when she had fallen asleep, but it made sense to her that she would be exhausted. She hadn't slept much or even well during the last few days, and she could feel her energy reserves dwindling. Catching up with Kate was the last thing is remembered doing with some clarity, everything after that was a blur. She guessed she had fallen asleep shortly after returning to her dorm after the two girls' tea-drinking session.

"You really should check your phone more often, I texted you like an hour ago." Victoria walked inside like she owned the place.

"I was asleep."

"We can talk later."

"No, I'm awake now," Max moved hastily to close the door when she saw Victoria turn to leave. She blinked in surprise when the blonde shoved an orange bottle of pills in her hands.

"I'm... I'm not in a- in a good place," she muttered. "Mentally, I mean." She took a deep breath as she sat herself on Max' bed. "You obviously already know that I've been seeing a therapist, one you have yet to visit, by the way, don't think I've forgotten about that, but it's- it's been getting worse. Seeing my parents now… Well, it didn't help. I was wrong to be a bitch towards you, I know that and I'm sorry." Victoria's eyes jumped around the room and Max could tell she was struggling to look at her. She moved slowly and sat down on the bed next to the blonde, the pills in the bottle rattling slightly as she played with it. "These are for my anxiety," came Victoria's voice after a while and she grimaced as she stared at the objects in the brunette's hands. "Antidepressants… My uh… My parents weren't too happy about them. Told me to keep anyone from finding out. Fuck, I don't even know why I still listen to them." She felt a soft squeeze on her shoulder and she unconsciously leaned into the touch.

"You don't have to explain if you don't want to."

"No. No, I want to. I owe you an apology and… Well, I've listened to you so many times, now you get to do the same," they both chuckled at Victoria's attempt to lighten the mood. "I haven't been going to my therapist," the blonde continued after a moment of neither of them talking. "I don't really know why, I just- well, I didn't want to, I guess. After what happened with Nathan... It's hard to find the will to do anything to be honest. I mean, things were already shitty enough and then he went and killed himself and it was like… It was all too much." She sighed as Max nodded, not wanting to interrupt in any way. "I was stupid, though, I know that. Therapists are supposed to help in situations like these, aren't they? Pills too, that's why they prescribe them. I made my own bed when I stopped taking them…" There was a heavy cloud of silence hovering around them as Victoria stopped talking. Max hesitantly turned to look at the blonde, her heart breaking at the sight of unshed tears in her eyes. It was like she was trying hard not to cry, but she was slowly losing the battle. "I'm not telling you any of this for you to pitty me," she continued after a while, her voice slightly hoarse. "I'm only telling you so you can see where I'm coming from. I shouldn't have ignored you the way I did... I'm sorry."

"I wouldn't ever dream of pitying you, Victoria. But... you could have not been a dick and texted me." Victoria let out a soft laugh. "I'd have understood if you wanted to be alone, we all need that sometimes. Your jackassery is forgiven, though, don't worry about it." Max moved her arm to hug the blonde's shoulders. "I won't be this gracious in the future, though," she joked. "Just- please talk to me next time?"

Victoria laughed as she hastily brought her hand to her face, wiping a stray tear that had managed to roll down her cheek. "You're too nice for your own good, Caulfield. I promise I won't take advantage of that."

"You better not. I can't be like really mean if I want to." A loud laugh escaped the blonde's mouth, quickly followed by Max' own whose hold tightened a little around the other girl's shoulders. "Hey, remember how you said that this assignment wouldn't end up being one of those tropes where two people are forced to work together and end up opening up to each other and becoming friends?"

"Shut up, Caulfield."

A/N: I really, honestly did try to avoid the angst. But it obviously got out of hand and infected like half the chapter... I should probably give our girls a break at some point...