(Chapter three. I'm not sure how many chapters I will post. This might be only a few chapters. Might change the name as well. I had a friend suggest a title because I was stumped. Mixed emotions feelings and confusion might not have been an accurate enough title. I'm a little weird about stuff like this. Oh well on with the story. Disclaimer: I do not own and of the Harry Potter universe characters that's all J.K Rowling's Genius.)
Hadrian slept soundly the first night for about two hours after he was put down around 8:30 when he was nodding off while excitedly talking to Draco about all his favorite things. The top of his list when he named them out was Draco, even though they had only been together for hours while Harry was Hadrian. Amazing how in both life's they named him a name beginning with 'H'.
The boy fell asleep holding on the Draco's hand like if he let go Draco would disappear from his sight forever, and he'd be back in his orphanage bed, still feeling like he was missing something. With a slight smile always on The blonde man's face he carried the little newly Scottish boy to the guest bedroom, tucking the patched up teddy bear in besides the child.
It felt wonderful to have Hadrian with him. To see the boy happy, genuinely happy with out the clouded darkness. Something he would have to work on with Harry once he came back. Besides what was a mate for if they didn't help you wounds heal, and bring light to your most darkest places?
Draco was sitting up in bed in his sleeping robes of pale green. They were very soft, and he preferred them to the Muggle sleep wear. A book on potions in his lap. He read the words slowly trying to suck up the information. He couldn't lack in any knowledge working as an Auror. They weren't so terribly busy now that almost all the Death eaters were in Azkaban.
Around 10 'o clock Draco heard a terrible heart wrenching scream of pure terror. It was Hadrian, and immediately Draco was out of bed sprinting down the hall to the boys room wand at the ready. The boy was in the corner of the room knees to chest with his glasses laying on the bed side table. Spelling the lights on Draco raced to the boy scooping him up in his arms.
"Hadrian, what's wrong?" Draco asked rocking the sobbing boy. He rocked and rubbed his back in slow soothing circles until Hadrian was no longer shaking with sobs. There were no more tears, but Hadrian looked exhausted, but to terrified to go back to sleep.
"Hush now little dragon, tell me what's got you so upset." Draco half pleaded want to calm the boy down. To ease his fears. Hadrian looked at him with those big green eyes, and in his small little Scottish voice answered Draco.
"Blood, so many bodies. He came, a man, a monster." Hadrian muttered staring Draco right in the eyes, never looking away. "He saw me, he chased me and hurt me. His snake attacking me. Voldemort. He wants to kill me, like everyone else! He's going to get me!" Hadrian panicked holding on to Draco with all his strength, Draco held him close, trying to warm the boy. Some memories seemed to be coming back to him. The bad one's first it seemed.
"No one is going to hurt you Hadrian, never ever again, because I wont let them. Voldemort is dead, and he is never ever going to come back. A great powerful wizard stopped him a long time ago. Before you- before you were born." Draco corrected himself. He was going to say ' before your magic changed you' but he felt it would be better to deal with Hadrian remembering piece by piece. Not by telling a child he's actually a twenty six year old man named Harry Potter who broke down and turned into a child. Some how Draco didn't thing that would go over well for poor Hadrian.
Looking at him with eyes so full of trust Hadrian put his pinky out. "Do you promise?" Hadrian asked his face especially close to Draco's to actually see him. "Pinky swear it." He demanded like his life depended on it. To a child it probably felt like it was a life or death matter.
"Pinky what?" Draco asked confused in the ways of Muggle's. Hadrian fumbled for Draco's hand. When Draco assisted him in finding the limb Hadrian hooked their pinky fingers together securely.
"You can't break a pinky swear. If you swear you gotta keep it forever." Hadrian said looking at Draco hard. Draco thought there was a bit of the real Harry speaking out, trying to find that one person that was supposed to protect him before he broke like this.
"I pinky swear that I will protect you with my life." He spoke fiercely meaning every word. Hadrian threw his arms around Draco's neck holding on tightly, and then Draco felt him yawn and new it was time for sleeping again. As he was standing he remembered Harry's journal.
' she left the bed, and not even minutes later I was awake screaming, filled with a terror that choked me. I-I can't sleep alone anymore. I need. I crave the warmth and comfort of another body near…' Suddenly Draco couldn't leave the child alone again.
"Can I sleep with you ?" Hadrian asked before Draco could. Silently Draco laughed, hugging the boy closer to himself.
"Of course you can little Dragon." He was walking towards the door when Hadrian suddenly jumped squeaking in surprised remembrance.
"My glasses! And Patchy!" Hadrian exclaimed, chuckling Draco went back for the items required. Hadrian quickly put his glasses on holding Patchy tight.
As soon as they were laying in the same bed Hadrian fell a sleep quickly. This time through the whole night. Never one waking from a nightmare the rest of the night.
Draco was sleeping soundly until someone with great urgency was shaking him awake.
"Draco, Draco!" The voice whispered with another shake, and quickly Draco shot up in bed, whirling around to face Hadrian staring at him with eyes almost ready to tear. He looked so distraught that Draco's heart lurched in little throbs of pain.
"What's the matter little Dragon?" He spoke clearly, Hadrian's distress knocking away any sleepiness he would usually be talking with at seven in the morning. The boy who looked different that morning than he did the night before rolled up his sleeves. On his arms were pearly white scars, just a few that raised from his once un blemished skin.
"Someone hurt me! You promised they wouldn't!" He whispered sadly, and Draco realized why Hadrian looked different. He looked older. By a year or so, maybe, but definitely older. As his memories returned so did his age it seemed. He must have remembered enough to gain the scars back. Some of them.
"Hadrian look at me.' Draco said tipping the boys chin up to meet their eyes. "Do you feel pain?" He asked eyes searching the young boys. He didn't want Hadrian to have to feel the pain of every scar over again as he remembered. That would be a torture he wouldn't wish upon anyone. To experience such prolonged abuse once was bad enough. To have to feel it again would be especially cruel.
"No, but I was hurt! How did this happen?" Hadrian mumbled almost to him self. Yet as he asked this question his eyes widened and he looked to Draco who was know kneeling on the bed in front of Hadrian. His face was full of worry for the young boy.
"My-my uncle? I got an uncle?" Hadrian mumbled, and as he was speaking it was like Draco could see the wheels turning in the boys mind. Things were coming back. Bad things. Hadrian gripped on to Draco's arms for the support.
"No." Hadrian moaned, and Draco half wished Hadrian wouldn't remember at all. Raising him up again, letting him come of age almost didn't seem bad. Draco wanted his Love, his mate, but if Hadrian had to experience pain like this he didn't want him to remember being Harry Potter.
A strange chill went through Draco at his last thought. Forgetting being Harry Potter would be like losing the man he fell in love with. He would still be here, but he wouldn't remember the times they were together. It wasn't right to through Harry Potter away. What was that saying? Don't through something away if it could be fixed? Hadrian had to remember.
"Hadrian listen to me. You have people that love you, and that loved you with all their life's." Draco said holding on to the boy with all his hopes, with all his love and fondness for Harry who was split into this new personality. To fix this all, he'd have to help Hadrian remember Harry, and when their memories merged together he would have to help Harry through the problems, Ginny should have helped him through.
"Your such a special person, and something's that are very strange, and frightening will happen to you. You just have to remember that I'm here for you, I've changed from the Draco you will remember first. Feel that bond between us? The shared soul?"
"Yes." Hadrian whispered looking deep into Draco's grey eyes full of truth and comfort. It confused him, but he knew Draco was right as they were speaking he could feel that connection. This is the man he was looking for. His soul.
"What do you remember about these Hadrian?" Draco whispered bringing an arm to his lips as if to kiss the pain away. Honestly even though there was no pain Hadrian found comfort in the gesture.
"He looked at me with eyes filled with fear the first time in did…Magic." Hadrian said in a whisper still. His eyes were looking into Draco's, but he was far off struggling to remember what had already been forming in his mind.
"I -I made the milk pour into my bowl when I was…five? The first time I was five. A lady screamed. Petunia, my aunt. My mothers-" His eyes snapped back into focus making the boy flinch.
"It'll be okay. They lied Lily and James Potter didn't die in a car crash. They aren't alive anymore, but your mothers love protected you. She'd want you to be strong." Draco said calmly remembering parts from Harry's journal. Hadrian nodded his head, hoping that Draco was right, that his mother would want him to be strong, because she loves him.
"My mothers sister screamed and took Dudley. My cousin away from me. That was the first time Vernon hit me." The boy said leaning into Draco who wrapped his arms around the child. Rocking him again, rubbing his back to keep him calm. Even though he was crying from the memories resurfacing.
"He broke a rib the first night and bruised my face. I had to go to the doctor, I said I fell down the stairs, afraid if I told I'd get hit." The memories were playing to fast for him to repeat them out loud at the same time the came. The rush of a years worth of abuse making him dizzy, shaky.
"It's alright I'm here Hadrian. Their only memories, they can't hurt you anymore. Only if you let them. Be strong, I'll help you through anything." Draco said through the fog of remembering. Hearing his voice made him steady himself through the pain.
They stayed like that for a while, while the memories completely played out. Hadrian held on to Draco still while Draco hummed some sort of lullaby. It was something Hadrian never remembered hearing in his first childhood. Something he suspected he never would hear in anyone the locked away memories. Hearing one now. Singing to him to calm him, and bring comforting warmth to his darkness, made him able to cope through the horrors of that year. Remembering each and every beating, the story behind the scars on his arms.
"I have to remember again?" Hadrian asked Draco part scared part sad, and just part numb. It wasn't as bad remembering a second time than feeling the pain the first time around. Draco squeezed the child reassuringly, but spoke regretfully.
"You have quite a lot to remember, and not all of its as nice as the second time you lived, do you understand what I'm saying?" Draco asked knowing he was still talking to a child. Hadrian nodded solemnly understanding he had to remember things that were painful enough to be forgotten.
"Hadrian, do you remember who you were before yet? Do you remember your name from before?" Draco asked hopefully.
"Harry James Potter, I don't want that name yet. I want to be Hadrian." The boy mumbled, and Draco understood. Hadrian wasn't beaten for years of his life, Harry had. In time Hadrian would accept who he was, who he is, but for now Draco was perfectly content with him being Hadrian.
"Come on then. Enough of this dreary-ness. Let's have breakfast, aren't you starving?" The man asked attempting to brighten the mood. He had this hope going that if he could make Hadrian as happy as can be, he could make enough good memories to help him stay balanced once the other memories came back.
"I'm kinda hungry." Hadrian said, still sad by his scars. Draco could sense it from the bond they shared as mates. He smiled more even though they had talked about sad things, his smile was genuine.
"Kinda? What kind of answer is that silly!" Draco said flopping Hadrian on his back tickling his sides. The boy burst out in laughter trying to wrestle Draco off. His bright green eyes weren't tinted with darkness of troubles. Instead they were alight with child like glee. A child's mind was a resilient thing, perhaps Draco really could mend Harry's wounds this way.
"Okay okay!" Hadrian shouted in mock surrender, Draco played along pulling back, only to be knocked over by a little body that the launched its own tickle attack. The pair was rolling with laughter, their mood lighter now, more comfortable.
"Come on little dragon, I'll make you pancakes." The man said standing up, turning around to walk out. Hadrian grinned happily and launched himself from the bed landing on Draco's back. Surprised Draco stumbled but kept on. He bumped Hadrian like he was a horse and they boy squealed with glee.
They were having a great time, playing around like that. Hadrian seemed to have forgotten his earlier terror all together. Draco was in the middle of playing pony for the boy in the living room when the fire place erupted in bright green fire, Blaise Zabini stumbling out of it looking half burnt by some curse.
Draco didn't have a chance to say anything from all fours on the floor before Blaise fell to his knees. The Italian man looked at him blankly his clothes in shambles blackened by some sort of spell backlash. Draco thought something might have been seriously wrong with the bloke, until he busted out laughing.
"What in bloody hell are you doing mate! You look like a bloody twit on the floor like that." Blaise roared almost hysterically. He doubled over from his laughter, and it must have looked completely amusing, because hanging on to the now keeling Draco's back Hadrian busted out in his sweet giggle. Blaise froze like a statue straightening up staring straight at Draco.
"What'd ya got there Malfoy?" He asked partly winded. Hadrian's arms slid away from Draco's neck and he stepped in to clear view. Pj's, scars and all. Blaise's eyes bulged and his mouth dropped open in surprised shock.
"You're silly." Hadrian said with a huge smile. He saw Blaise step out of the fire and instantly knew that the new man was like his Draco, and if Draco was so wonderful so should the man be.
"My name's Hadrian Willow, What's yours ?" Blaise just stared like he was seeing a zombie. Which technically the wizarding world had declared Harry Potter dead, to see a child with such a likeness would have anyone stunned. The Italian couldn't say a word.
"That's my friend Blaise Zabini, I think he likes to catch flies with that mouth of his." Draco teased, and Blaise jolted out of his shock snapping his mouth closed. Hadrian squealed stepping away. He knew Draco was just being silly, but still. Catching flies in your mouth sounded terrible!
"He's - is that- Oh my God Draco you were playing pony!" Blaise stuttered out absolutely scandalized. "The great proud Pure- Blood Draco Malfoy being a child's play thing! To Harry Potters-" Blaise started before he was cut off by Draco's glare. He sensed this was not the best topic to discus at the moment. He looked to Hadrian who looked a little more shy no after the man's out burst, and sighed.
"I'm sorry I was rather loud. Its just, I got hit by this damned awful jinx's that nearly fried me to ashes!" He told the child who giggled. Blaise looked to his friend who only shrugged.
"The kid laughs at my near death experience. I think he spends to much time with you." Blaise spoke half jokingly, Draco smiled brightly pulling Hadrian close to him.
"Yeah , well he's a excellent candidate for Slytherin house. Or Gryffindor, Raven claw even. Any road, I was just about to make us break fast would you like to stay?" Draco asked and Hadrian was bouncy with excitement.
Blaise just couldn't refuse. They made their way to the kitchen Hadrian asking Blaise all sorts of questions while they were seated. Draco making pancakes and eggs, while Hadrian chattered excitedly with a smiling patient Blaise.
"…there are really dragons ?" Hadrian asked after Blaise mentioned visiting his friend who worked with Dragons in Norway. The child's eyes were wide in excitement, the magical world seemed to fascinate him greatly. He hung on to every word that Blaise and Draco said like it was a special treasure.
"Would you like to see the Dragons ?" Draco asked bringing plates of food over to the five person table. Hadrian happily bit into a forkful of egg nodding excitedly. He'd love to see real live dragons! Blaise chuckled obviously enamored with Hadrian. He never cared much for the grown Harry Potter, but being around him when he was a child was captivating. He was so different from how he was when they met at Hogwarts.
"How about me and Draco take you in a couple of days, it should be nice in the Norwegian dragon sanctuary this time of year."
"Oh Please, oh please!" Hadrian pleaded, that would be the best thing in the world to see dragons! He was practically bouncing in his seat with the anticipation of their answer to be yes, and to see these creatures he never saw before.
"Yes Hadri, we'll take you." The blonde man said softly gesturing for the boy to finish eating before it got cold. When he turned towards his food Draco felt Blaise's gaze boring into him. With out looking at the male he ate a bite of food. His silence inviting Blaise to say whatever absurd comment he had burning inside of him.
"It kinda feels like you're the mommy, and I'm the daddy, and little Harr- Hadrian here is our baby. How does that make you feel my little lamb chop ?" He asked leaning over the table in a mock seductive way. Draco rolled his eyes about to hex the Italian under the table when a buttered syrup covered pancake smacked Blaise, and stuck to the side of his face.
Hadrian was standing on his chair now, another pancake ready to be launched.
"No! No!" Hadrian shouted at Blaise obviously not happy with him for some reason or another. Blaise tore the pancake from his face horrified. How could sweet little Hadrian who had been hooked on every word he said through something so , so sticky at him?
"Mine! You can't have!" The boy huffed and Draco laughed hugely. It only caused Blaise to think that every one in the house had gone mad.
"Blaise, sorry, but Hadrian here is my Mate, so if anything you're a third wheel." Draco pulled the pancake wielding child from his fighting stance. Hadrian easily released the pancake and fork onto a plate and curled his arms possessively around Draco's next watching Blaise with distrust.
"You mean- oh damn it Draco. With Harry- I mean with Hadrian? You're a mad man." Blaise said shaking his head. A Slytherin and a Gryffindor soul mates of sorts. The wizarding worlds savior and an almost Death eater. The least likely match in the whole world, and yet seeing the two together you'd never expect any different.
"I'm sorry Hadrian I wasn't really trying to take Draco from you. I promise he's all yours." Hadrian watched the man carefully, but he looked genuinely sorry, so he crawled from Draco to his seat still wanting the rest of the food on his plate.
"Don't do it again." The boy said strongly, stabbing the eggs with his fork and biting into it.
"I have to go spell this mess out of my hair. Don't you gents go anywhere." the Italian said walking off towards the fire place where he left his wand after spelling himself clean from the soot the last thing he was hit with. That's when Draco remembered Blaise showing up Jinxed and half hysterical.
"Why did you show up all knobbed up?" Draco called down the hall way as the other man was walking in. Hadrian didn't say anything he just listened, because he to wanted to know. Blaise, now clean sat back down and rubbed the back of his neck.
"Well you see, I had a run in with Ronald Weasley. Nasty little git he is. He was with his sister you know, and she was talking about um." Blaise didn't know if he was allowed to mention Ginny and the divorce that came after Harry being missing. Draco nodded that he under stood what he was referring too.
"Well apparently she was still miffed that she didn't get anything from the divorce. All of his Gringotts accounts were sealed until he had an heir to claim it. Apparently he didn't specify anyone to get it because of the abruptness of the disappearance, so they sealed it off from everyone. No one can touch it." Blaise sighed and straightened up in his chair. Knowing the nasty part of the story was coming he reached over and plucked Draco's wand from him. No one needed to go off killing someone. So he made sure Draco didn't have a weapon.
"So she knowing that she conceived while they were still together was discussing with her brother how to get he child pulled off as his heir." Draco couldn't believe it. She broke Harry's heart and mind, with cheating , and now she was trying to take more from him? How outrageous, how evil, how trashy!
"Apparently he new Husband wasn't doing so good, and it looks like an up incoming divorce. She needs money or so she says. She was really putting on a show for her brother. Trying to get him to help her con his supposedly dead best friend out of all he had. I heard it all and when I stepped out, so did a few - um comments." Draco nearly laughed despite his anger. He knew Blaise, and his comments could be so much more than comments. The boy could literally put someone in tears, or hysterics over one of his comments. He suddenly wished he was their to watch it happen, and then maybe kill the ginger woman. ( He wouldn't actually kill her. No matter how rotten she was, he wasn't going to take her child's mother away.0
"Ronald went berserk and we had a little spat. Sufficed to say, I got a little singed, he got- well he got quite a lot actually." The man said laughing darkly, but trying to keep the gory details to himself. He wouldn't relay that kind of information to little Hadrian.
Draco took a couple moments in silence. He wouldn't allow himself to go do something to put him in Azkaban, not now when he had Hadrian/ Harry who needed him. After another round of calming breaths he got his wand back. Hadrian who had been quiet suddenly spoke.
"Maybe you should have cut him, or gut her, or crushed her insides to dust so she'd know how I felt." The child whispered insanely, eyes staring vacantly.
"What!" Draco and Blaise all but shouted together. Hadrian met their eyes startled, completely un aware of what was going on.
"What?" He asked it his little Scottish accent.
"What did you just say?"
"Nothing! I didn't say anything." Hadrian defended, he really didn't have a clue what they were talking about, and their reactions and emotions were upsetting him. Draco could see this so he just settled down, Blaise followed the other mans example.
"It's okay Hadrian we all must have misheard. Don't be upset, were not mad." The boy nodded feeling slightly better. Draco had an idea of what that was. The locked up memories of Harry's must have slipped letting out a single sentence expressing the pain he felt over Ginny's betrayal.
Breakfast finished rather uneventful. Hadrian at least seemed happy again. Blaise had promised to take them for a little trip for icecream. The promise of sugar seemed to live up the child. Draco didn't worry about Harry's little outburst this morning. Everyone says things, some act on them, but no matter how much Harry was hurt by the Weaslette he would never hurt her physically.
As Hadrian dressed for their adventure, Draco wrote a letter to his mother. He hoped that she would be able to stop Ginny from getting what she wanted. Knowing Narcissa she probably would succeed in the task at hand.
(That's the end for chapter three! Hope it's a nice story so far. I plan to try and post more frequently now that its summer, so I hope I'll have chapter four out soon. Going off to see the dragons, yes!)