Love and War

Source Episode: VOY 2x20 "Investigations"

Counselor's Log, Stardate 49356.0

Crew morale has continued to slip lower as we endure frequent attacks by the Kazon. Damage to the ship isn't catastrophic, but stress is high and nerves are getting frayed. Thankfully, most of the injuries have been minor, and we haven't lost anyone since Kurt was killed nearly two weeks ago. Still, everyone is on edge wondering when we're going to lose someone else.

"Thank you for coming, Commander," Captain Janeway said as I took a seat in front of her desk. Tuvok stood behind her, stoic as usual. "What we're about to tell you cannot under any circumstances leave this room. Do you understand?"

I nodded. "Yes, Captain."

Tuvok explained the situation. "I have recently discovered evidence of covert transmissions leaving Voyager through the EPS system. Further investigation has lead me to conclude that someone on this ship is communicating with the Kazon-Nistrim."

My eyes widened. "Have you been able to identify who is sending these transmissions?"

Janeway shook her head. "We've tried to find the culprit using every conventional method, but whoever it is has been covering their tracks very well. So, we've come up with a new plan, and we'd like your help."

"Of course. What can I do?"

Janeway folded her hands. "We're going to put Mister Paris off the ship."

"You— what?"

"We have asked Lieutenant Paris to act insubordinate," Tuvok explained, "so that when an opportunity arises for him to find employment elsewhere, the crew will believe that he is leaving of his own volition." He paused, testing me like Marnah used to.

"If Tom leaves," I reasoned, "Seska will want to snatch him so she can convince him to sell us out. And if he can sweet-talk his way into her good graces, then he can tap into their com system to find out the spy."

"Precisely."

"So, you want me to play along with his act."

Janeway nodded. "File reports, force him into counseling, get into an argument in the corridor, whatever you think will convince the crew of this ruse."

I grinned. "I think we can handle that."

"I also wanted to ask for your opinion on whether or not we should include Commander Chakotay in this. Tuvok believes we should leave him out of the loop, as we suspect it may be one of the former Maquis who is contacting Seska. What do you think?"

I pressed my lips together, considering the alternatives. "While I tend to agree with Tuvok's judgement, my inclination here is to include Chakotay in the plan. I think he would see it as a stab in the back for you not to trust him in his duty as your first officer, after how hard he's worked for you over the last year."

Tuvok raised an eyebrow. "Would he be capable of maintaining the ruse? He will undoubtedly be on the receiving end of Lieutenant Paris' disrespectful behavior."

Glancing from Tuvok to Janeway, I gave a firm nod. "He can handle it. Keep him on your side, Captain. You won't regret it."

"Why don't we make it interesting this time?" Tom suggested to Harry, having just lost a game of pool at Sandrine's. "Let's add some table stakes."

"What kind of stakes?"

"Couple of replicator rations, maybe?"

I shook my head. "That's not a very subtle hustle, Tom."

"Wait," Harry said, turning to me. "Are you saying he deliberately let me win?"

"That would be dishonest, Harry," Tom cooed.

Harry puffed his chest. "I won that game, and I'll beat you again."

"How many rations are you willing to bet on that?" Tom challenged.

Some of the other crew members nearby started shouting their encouragements at Harry, but I shook my head. "Is this really how you want to treat your best friend, Tom?"

Tom shrugged. "I don't know what you're talking about, Tal."

"Harry," I said, "if anyone ever says to you, 'let's make it interesting,' you should probably leave the game."

Tom laughed. "Okay, she's got a point there. You want some action? How about an honest game of chance?"

I rolled my eyes. "Right. Honest."

"Oh come on, Tal. You get promoted and suddenly you're no fun anymore."

I put up my hands in mock surrender and walked away from the table a few paces.

Tom turned back to Harry. "This one is simple. One replicator ration is all it takes to play, and the only thing you have to do to win is pick a number. Just predict what the radiogenic particle count will be at twelve hundred hours tomorrow, and if you hit, the pot is yours. Minus a small handling fee for the bank, of course."

Quicker than I could groan, the room burst into shouts of crew wanting in on the lottery. Tom had Harry take out a PADD, and before I knew it, he had organized Voyager's first gambling ring.

After that, I decided to find other ways to fill my evenings.

Lon Suder had found a hobby.

For a few weeks, he and I had been exploring possible hobbies he could pursue on the ship. We had spent the previous week with Kes in the airponics bay, and Lon took to it right away. Not only was he fascinated by the plants, but Kes was able to build an easy rapport with him. By the end of the session, Kes suggested that Lon should explore the botany lab with Tuvok, who was very knowledgeable about the subject and— believe it or not— more sociable than Dr. Klegglachen. Lon was hesitant to agree, still harboring some resentment against Tuvok for spying on us in the Maquis, but Kes convinced him to try it anyway.

A week later, we were in the botany lab. I smiled watching Kes and Tuvok draw Lon out of his shell. They showed him how to use the equipment in the lab and explained to him all the things he could do with plants here. As they examined plant cells under the microviewer, the topic shifted briefly to meditation practices, and Tuvok offered to teach Lon how to use a Vulcan meditation candle. Lon glanced back at me, and I nodded at him approvingly.

Sometimes— often times— the best therapy would occur beyond the walls of my office. It came in the form of discovering something new and fascinating, or in the kindness of a person willing to look past the surface and see the potential underneath. The thing about my job was that, at the end of the day, my goal was to see my patients stand on their own and learn how to walk through life without my help. All I did was start the puzzle and show them how to put the pieces together; in time, they gained the confidence to keep working at it on their own. Lon was beginning to do just that, and I was so proud to see it happen.

Harry and I were the first to arrive for our usual dinner with Tom. When I asked him how he was doing, he glanced around the mess hall, then leaned in towards me. "This radiogenic particle game is killing me. Nobody's won all week. Tom said he's not even gonna come to dinner tonight because he's eating steak in his quarters instead. I'm starting to think maybe you were right about not playing."

"So? Stop playing."

"Are you kidding me? I've got almost a week's worth of rations in there! Eventually, someone's got to get lucky. But, I'll say this: as soon as that pot gets claimed, I'm out. Never again."

"Uh-huh," I muttered skeptically.

After dinner, when Harry went to meet his fellow lottery players on the holodeck, I went straight to Chakotay's office to tip him off to what Tom was doing.

"You did this?!" Tom hissed, storming up to my table in the mess hall while I ate breakfast.

"You were in violation of policy," I replied, putting down the report I had been studying and taking a sip of my coffee.

Tom threw his hands in the air and huffed. "I can't believe you did this. I mean, I know you've been trying to take your promotion seriously and all, but what the hell, Tal? You and I used to pull shit like that all the time at the academy!"

"Yeah, well, this isn't the academy, Tom. Grow up."

"Oh, come on! It was just a little harmless fun."

"You were conning your fellow crewmen out of rations."

"It was not a con! You can look at the program yourself. It was completely fair."

"The crew didn't seem to think so. I was starting to get complaints." I picked up my PADD and resumed my survey of the report. "Besides, it's in Chakotay's hands now. If you have a problem, take it up with him."

He yanked the PADD out of my hand, slammed it on the table, and leaned down close to my face, drawing nearly every eye in the room to us. "Don't you get it? I have a problem with you. I thought you were my friend, Tal. I thought you were in my corner. But, lately, you've been acting more and more like him. Are you sleeping with him again or something?"

"This discussion is over," I snapped, grabbing for my PADD.

Tom pinned it under his hand. "Did he finally say those three words you've been dying to hear ever since you first laid eyes on his… face?"

I glared. "Lieutenant, I suggest you get the hell out of my face, or you'll have a lot worse than a report coming."

He straightened his back, dropped his hands to his sides, and shook his head. "As you wish, Commander." With that, he walked out.

That night, Chakotay returned to his quarters to find me sitting outside his door, crying. It wasn't a heavily populated deck, but a few people milled about. All it took was one or two seeing us to start a rumor.

He knelt in front of me. "Talia? What happened?"

I ran the back of my hand across my cheeks and sniffled. "Tom," I choked out.

Realizing that this was part of the ruse, he took my hands and spoke gently. "I heard about that. I'm sorry. I can discipline him if you want—"

I shook my head. "No. I don't want this to be a bigger deal than it has to be, I just— I didn't know who else to talk to, and I..." I paused, looked at him, and dropped my voice to a low murmur. "I don't want to be alone."

Giving my hands a squeeze, Chakotay muttered a quiet, "Come on," as he helped me to my feet and guided me inside. As soon as the doors shut behind us, he released my hands and disappeared into the head. A moment later, he returned with tissues. "How the hell do you do that?"

I laughed, sniffled, and mopped my face. "What, cry on cue? It comes in handy more often than you might think. Got my brother into trouble for shit I did, got me out of trouble with profs, got free drinks, ill-advised sex... you name it. People are suckers."

"Wow. And how exactly did you decide to be a counselor— you know, to help people?"

"What, so we all have to be overly-sensitive saints?"

"Isn't that part of the entrance exam or something?"

I wadded up the used tissues and dropped them into his hand. "Nope."

Chakotay's face twisted in disgust.

I laughed, swiped them from him, and offered him my pocket sanitizer. The device hummed as he activated it and ran the beam over his hands. I took the tissues to his replicator and recycled them. When I returned, he handed the sanitizer to me, and I treated my own hands before putting it back inside my jacket.

"You're a real asshole, you know," Chakotay said.

I smiled. "Yep, I know."

He chuckled. "Tea?"

"Yes, please. Vul—"

"Vulcan spice. I remember." He turned towards the replicator. "Although, at this hour, you should be drinking camomile."

I slumped onto his couch. "Nah, I'm fine."

He paused to throw a pointed look over his shoulder.

I sighed. "Alright, fine. Camomile it is."

Smiling victoriously, he put in the order, returned with two cups of camomile tea, and settled into an adjacent chair.

I blew across the surface of the hot liquid. "Thank you."

"You're very welcome."

I took a sharp breath. "How are you doing?"

"Who's asking? Ship's counselor, or my friend?"

"Your friend, Tay. Of course."

He took a sip of tea. "Had to make sure."

No, he really didn't. But I kept that retort to myself.

"Honestly," he added, "it doesn't make much difference. Either way, I know what you're after, and I don't want to talk about it."

"I'm not after anything you don't want to tell me. We are still friends, right?"

Chakotay frowned. "Of course."

"Friends check in on each other. It's the least I can do, after—" I hung my head. "Never mind."

His hesitation to respond let me know that he had been hurt, after all, by my suggestion to the captain that we abandon him to Seska. I had broken the code.

"You did the right thing," he said. "It was what I asked you all to do."

"But it wasn't what you expected me to do."

Chakotay shook his head. "No, it wasn't."

"I'm sorry."

"I know."

For a long while, we sipped our tea in silence.

"We keep ending up here," Chakotay said, "late night in my quarters, drinking tea and commiserating together."

I huffed a laugh. "Yeah. But don't expect it to end like last time. Tonight, I'm only pretending to sleep with you."

He grinned, drawing out those adorable dimples in his cheeks. "Do I get a say in who I pretend to sleep with tonight?"

"Well, it's either me or your right hand."

Chakotay did his best impression of a hurt look, but it gave way to laughter. "Touché."

"Meh, I'm no better off than you are."

"You've been spending a lot of time with Harry lately."

I raised an eyebrow. "And?"

He sipped his tea. "Nothing. Just making an observation."

"Mmhm."

I was tempted to jab him back, but I thought better of it. More than anything, I wanted for him to be happy. It was too soon to tease him about Captain Janeway; I didn't want to scare him off of her. So, I let him win that round.

"It's better this way, I think," Chakotay mused. "Even if it's hard being alone sometimes. I thought that we were happy— you and I— but you were right to end it. We weren't happy. We were just... self-medicating."

"Yeah."

He set the cup down. "I'll be honest— I've been better. Having that message play in front of everyone on the bridge..." He sighed.

"It must have been so humiliating," I murmured.

"It wasn't my proudest moment." He looked at me, the pain apparent in his dark eyes. "I don't know what to think... what to do."

"Neither do I."

"Isn't that supposed to be your job?"

"No, it's not. Besides, I'm not your counselor, remember? I'm just a friend."

A faint smile tugged at his lips, and he exhaled with quiet relief. Reaching across the coffee table, he took my hand. "Thank you."

"Of course."

The next morning, Chakotay and I purposely skipped breakfast. I dressed in my uniform from the day before, striding onto the bridge like I had woken up utterly satisfied— when, in fact, I woke up with an aching back from Chakotay's couch.

Chakotay pretended not to notice Tom eying us as we took our stations on the bridge, and I gave my friend the dirtiest look I could conjure.

For the entire following week, the only public interaction Tom and I had was giving each other the cold shoulder.

"I just don't know what to do anymore," Harry lamented as he sat on the couch in my quarters one night. "He pushed you away, he pushed B'Elanna away, and now he's pushing me away, too. What should I do?"

I brought two cups of tea over and sat down next to him, placing them on the coffee table. "There's not much you can do, Harry. This is what he does."

"What do you mean?"

"I've seen this cycle over and over again though all the years I've known him. It's why we were repeatedly breaking up in high school, and it's why I lost contact with him after he was discharged from Starfleet. He's always had this unconscious need to sabotage things and relationships that start getting too stable, to close. There's a lot of different influences that go into it, and I've tried for years to help him, but he's never been able to shake it. He just gets so restless being in the same place for too long, and he's never responded well to living under strict rules."

"But, he seemed to be doing so well here for all these months. And then, out of nowhere, he just... changed."

"I know," I said sympathetically. "I thought he was doing better, too. I thought maybe he'd finally started to tap into his potential, found the sense of family he didn't have at home." I shook my head and sighed. "Maybe I was being too optimistic."

"No! How can you say that? He needs you to believe in him. Talia, you're the only one who always believed in him, and who made him want to believe in himself. He told me that last year. You can't give up on him. You're the only one who can help him."

"I'm not sure that I can, Harry."

He hung his head.

"Look, I'm not giving up on him, okay? I'll do everything I can. But when you've seen someone repeat the same course of events so many times, you can't help but doubt that they're ever gonna change."

"He can. I know he can. I have to believe he can change."

I rested my hand on his shoulder. "He's very lucky to have a friend like you."

The next morning, I stepped off the turbolift and onto the bridge a mere forty minutes into Tom's shift. Without a word, I walked around the main deck and down to the con, where Tom managed our course, and I slapped a PADD down on top of his console. It was an official order to begin counseling, but, of course, I couldn't say that.

He looked up at me. "What's this?"

"You've been served, Lieutenant," I muttered before turning and making my way back to the turbolift.

"You've been served." Tom laughed so hard that tears eked into his eyes. "Where do you come up with this shit, Tal?"

We sat on the floor of Tom's quarters, tossing darts at the board he had nicked from Chakotay's office. I threw a dart and landed on the inner twenty. "I don't know, just pulled it out of my ass, I guess."

"Oh yeah? Can I borrow your ass next time I run out of snarky things to say?"

I laughed, nudged him with my elbow, and rested my head on his shoulder.

He tossed a dart into the twenty-five circle. "So, how's it going with you and Harry?"

"I'm not sure I know what you're talking about."

"Come on, Tal. I know you, and I know how to tell when you're flirting. Though, I've never seen anyone throw you off your game like he does. It makes me wonder..."

Sitting up straight, I grabbed a dart and toyed with it. I felt its weight, its balance. "Wonder what?"

"If you're actually falling in love with this one."

I swiveled towards him, pointing the tip of the dart at his face. "How dare you use that sort of filthy language in front of me! Go wash out your mouth!"

He raised his eyebrows at me. "Well?"

I sighed and threw the dart. "I don't know. It's not like with any of the other people I've dated. He's not like any of the other people I've dated. I like him, but—"

"He's one of the good ones, Tal. He'll never hurt you. Not on purpose."

I shook my head. "It's not that. I'm not afraid of being hurt. I'm afraid that I'll hurt him."

"What do you mean?"

"He's so young and innocent, and he seems like the type to fall really hard and fast. What if he does, and I don't? It's not like I have a great track record. All I usually want from a partner is fun and sex. I don't know how to be in a serious relationship. I'd destroy him, and then I'd never be able to forgive myself."

"Which is exactly why you won't hurt him. Yeah, you like to mess around, but deep down you're too good of a person to do something like that."

I quirked an eyebrow. "Are you sure about that?"

He grasped me by the shoulders, looking straight into my eyes. "I'd bet a year's worth of replicator rations on it."

I laughed. "I'll take that bet."

Clutching his chest, Tom gasped and feigned a look of shock. "What's this? Lt. Commander Eelo, gambling? Isn't that against procedure, or something?"

I rolled my eyes and picked up another dart. "Only when it's a con, flyboy."

A couple of weeks later, Tuvok informed me that the time had come. Voyager had detected a Talaxian convoy not far from our location and arranged to rendezvous with them to pick up their newest hire, Tom Paris.

Tom, Chakotay, and I had carefully managed to keep rumors flying around the ship about a volatile love triangle between between us. I made sure to be seen spending inordinate amounts of time with Chakotay, while Tom was constantly initiating pissing contests with him in front of the crew. Secretly, I stored up in my mind every brief moment when Captain Janeway's controlled expression would betray some slight jealousy of the relationship Chakotay and I were pretending to rekindle. Somehow, I doubted that was part of the act.

It wasn't long before Neelix caught wind of Tom's departure. After the captain and Tuvok confirmed the news to him, Neelix made a deeply moving tribute to Tom in the shipwide broadcast he'd begun to host every day. Things quickly became problematic, however, when we got word from the Talaxian convoy that the Kazon-Nistrim had attacked them and abducted Tom. Neelix suspected foul play and started snooping around for a story to break, eventually finding suspicious deletions in the subspace communications logs. Tuvok tried to get him off the case, but he insisted that "it is the duty of a journalist to be independent," and continued searching until he found the deleted transmissions on the computer in Tom's quarters.

No longer trusting Tuvok to take him seriously, he revealed his findings to the entire crew during his next broadcast. As soon as it aired, Captain Janeway immediately sent Tuvok to bring Neelix into her ready room, and asked me to join her there.

"How did you trace those transmissions to Tom's quarters?" she asked the eager reporter once he arrived.

"It was, er, I believe it was called signal correlation trace," he replied, excited to finally be taken seriously. "Mister Hogan was helping me, and he detected them."

Tuvok looked at Janeway. "When I looked for signal correlation traces, there were none. That means someone placed them in the system after my initial investigation."

"Initial investigation?" Neelix asked. "What's going on?"

"There has been a spy aboard Voyager," Janeway confirmed, "but it isn't Tom Paris."

Neelix's excitement instantly gave way to confusion. "It isn't?"

"No," Tuvok replied. "Lieutenant Paris is in fact part of our plan."

"Your plan?"

Janeway circled around her desk and walked up to the upper deck of her office, where she rested her forearms on the railing next to where I stood. She explained the situation to Neelix, and told him how Chakotay, Tom, and I had created drama to help them uncover the spy.

He nodded slowly as he processed the revelation. "I see," he mumbled, looking more than a little embarrassed and ashamed of himself.

Janeway continued. "Now, it seems that your investigation has made someone nervous. Nervous enough to put a trail in the computer system for him to follow. The spy may be a little cozy now, since you took the bait and pointed the finger at Tom. But, we don't want him cozy. I'd rather he feel some pressure."

Tuvok tilted his head to the side slightly. "Perhaps we should take advantage of Mister Neelix's unintentional blunder."

"Exactly," she agreed. "I want you to keep investigating, Neelix. Do what you've been doing. Poke around, ask questions. But let people think you're not so sure you were right about Tom Paris."

I shifted my weight off of the rail behind me and took a step forward. "That could put Neelix in some real danger, Captain."

Neelix stood, determination filling his face. "I want to do it. Anything I can do to help, and get Tom home safely, I will to do."

Counselor's Log, Supplemental

Both Tom and Neelix separately figured out that the spy was, in fact, one of our old Maquis comrades— Crewman Michael Jonas. When Neelix caught him trying to sabotage the ship from engineering, a fight ensued that resulted in Jonas falling over the railing in upper into a plasma fire below, vaporizing him.

Tom escaped from the Kazon and returned to the ship, a bit worse for wear but back to his regular self. Neelix plans to interview Tom for his next broadcast, so he can have a chance to explain himself to the crew.

The evening after Tom's interview, I stood once again in front of those familiar doors on deck three and tapped on the chime. "Come in," Chakotay beckoned from the other side. As soon as he saw me, he quirked his lips to one side. "Are we still trying to deceive the crew?"

I smiled and shook my head. "Actually, I just stopped by to bring you a peace offering." I brought my left arm out from behind my back, revealing an ornate, unopened bottle of wine.

He came to meet me at the door, his dimples emerging as he took the bottle from my hand. "Where did you get this?"

"You cannot tell Tom this, not ever, because he'll drink it all. But, I traded stories about Marnah to a vine keeper on Sikaris for two cases of this stuff."

His eyes widened. "Two cases?"

"Yeah, I have it stashed in my quarters. No one knows except Harry, and now you."

He chuckled and shook his head. "You always find new ways to surprise me. But, you didn't need to give me a peace offering. It hasn't bothered me to spend more time with you lately. It's been nice, actually, being friends again."

I wrapped my hand around his and gave it a squeeze. "It truly has been, Tay. But, the peace offering isn't for you." Releasing his hand, I gestured towards the corridor outside. "It's for her."

His brow furrowed slightly with confusion. He didn't realize that I had already figured out how he felt about Kathryn Janeway, didn't see the way she had watched us together as we pretended for the crew, didn't know how I had been observing them getting caught in each other's orbit. My mouth curved up softly at the corners. "I think she'll enjoy the vintage, and the company."

Then, a sweet smile began playing on his lips as he stared down at the bottle. Perhaps he was imaging the look on her face when he showed up at her door with it. His eyes found mine, and I winked at him teasingly. "Goodnight, Chakotay."

"Goodnight, Talia," he replied as I walked out the door.

From there, I made my way up to Harry's quarters on deck two. He was practicing his clarinet when I arrived. "You're early," he said when I walked in. "Tom's not meeting us for another thirty minutes."

I nodded as I leaned my hip against the back of a chair. "I know. I just didn't feel like being alone. Do you mind?"

He welcomed me with that beautiful, warm smile of his. "No, of course not. Do you want anything to drink?"

I couldn't help but smile back. "No, thank you. Please, don't let me keep you from your practice. Play something for me."

"Okay," he said, flipping through the pages of music on his stand. "Oh! Here. I like this one."

At first, while he played the sonata he had selected, I studied him like I often do when I watch people. I found the patterns in his art, how he channeled his breath into the instrument, how his fingers guided the notes that flowed out, how his right foot kept the tempo, how his body swayed with the movements of the music, how his eyes moved across the page and made the symbols into something ineffable by infusing them with the air in his lungs. He played the clarinet like I flew a spacecraft, making it an extension of his own self through which he could enter into another state of being.

After a while, I allowed my eyes to close, letting the music move over me like a lover in the night. When I opened my eyes again, after he finished the piece, I found him smiling at me with pleasure.

"I take it you liked the song?"

The smile overtook my features before I could even think about it, bringing a rush of blood to my face. "Yes, I did. It was beautiful, Harry. Thank you for playing that for me."

He set the instrument on its stand and looked down at his sheet music bashfully. "It's nothing. I actually enjoy playing for people, but Tom's not so into classical music."

"No, just twentieth century rock and roll for him." I paused. "You can play for me whenever you want. I'll listen to you anytime."

He smiled. "I'll keep that in mind."

It only took a few seconds for me to fold under his gaze. I looked at the floor. Damnit. I'd asked people out a million times, but now the words abandoned me.

Wiping my palms on my pants, I took a deep breath and started to speak just as Harry did the same. We looked at each other awkwardly, pink hues tingeing both our faces with embarrassment.

"Sorry," he said. "You go."

"No, please," I insisted. "You first."

He nodded and took a deep breath, looking just as anxious as I felt. "I was just… wondering… if you would want to… have dinner with me this weekend." He paused for a moment, then added, "just us," to clarify what he meant.

I beamed, every atom in my body suddenly full of light. "Yes," I breathed. "I'd like that a lot."

We stood in place grinning at each other like fools for a long moment. We were frozen in time, absorbing within each of us the excitement we felt after all these weeks of hesitation and crushes. Then, just as suddenly as time had stopped around us, it began to move again. Neither one of us could think of what to say or do other than the one thing we'd been dying to do the whole time.

I cleared my throat and looked at my feet. "It's, um, it's funny you asked, actually, because I—"

He strode across the room, closing the distance between us, and I looked up just as he reached me.

"I didn't come here early just because I wanted some company," I murmured.

Suddenly, his lips were on mine, soft and warm and everything I wanted. My hands snaked up his chest and into his soft hair, while his circled around my waist to pull my body tightly against his. I could feel his nerves give way to hunger for me, the tension between us suddenly broken and swept away.

I responded in kind, dragging one of those pillowy lips between my teeth. He brought a hand up to my neck, cupped my head and tipped it back. Our tongues tangled, retreated, and tangled again.

When we finally broke apart, he rested his forehead against mine. Both of us panted, trying to catch our breath.

"We should probably get going," Harry said, his voice raspy in a way that made me want to kiss him again.

I nodded, unable to contain my grin. "Probably so."

He pulled back and studied my face for several seconds, playing with my earring and tracing a finger down my cheek. Dropping his hand, he laced his fingers with mine and held on tight as we made our way to Sandrine's.