Dear Delilah,

I'll just clear up some of your confusion and worry right now: I'm not an old man who steals e-mails. I promise you this. I am a guy though. I'm just not old. Actually, I'm only sixteen (like you!).

Now, notice above that I included various pieces of information in casual format. It's impressive, huh?

I think that we use e-mails instead of mail for the following reasons: 1) Our schools don't feel like spending money on stamps. 2) Our schools don't want to spend money on overseas shipping. 3) It takes less time to send.

I'm honored that you chose to write to me as a last resort because your i-pod was unavailable. That really does a lot to my self esteem. Thanks for that.

Since you said a big 'F you' to this assignment, I'll follow suit. Casual writing is too much work.

Name: I'm Harry. I, too, have been instructed not to give you a last name. To make up for the absence of my last name, I give you my middle name: Edward.

Fact about my name: *Scratches head* Uh… I have no idea. It's the main character's first name in the Harry Potter series. You probably already knew that though, what with it being the Harry Potter series. And I don't know what you're teacher was talking about. Those were amazing facts.

Age: I already told you, remember! It was all casual. Good times, huh?

Hobbies: No, I didn't believe your first set of hobbies. House painting and roof golf were odd, but somewhat believable. The sky diving was too 'over the edge' though. I like to read, too. Hence the Harry Potter references. Writing is okay, but not my favorite. I'm only doing this for you (and for a grade), feel honored. What do you write though? I'm not the best at drawing though. It's so… difficult. Do you really rock climb or are you taking a piss? If so, that's really cool.

My hobbies are reading (mentioned above), music and swimming. You might be like 'how is music a hobby?' Well I listen to it, perform it and, sometimes, write it. I didn't feel like writing it all out though. I ended up writing it out anyway though. Note to self: Laziness never pays off.

Family life: I agree that this is a rather 'none of your business' question, so I'm not answering it. I think it's cool that your brother is an architect though. Do you talk to him often or see him a lot? Does he live close?

Where I live: I live on Earth, too! We're practically neighbors. I live in the United Kingdom though. And I only saw the first season of Jersey Shore and then I got bored with it. I researched New Jersey though, because I wanted to appear well educated. I found out that you guys have a shore. You grow tomatoes and corn that is apparently really good. I wouldn't know though. There was also something about North and South Jersey. Are they two different states? There was a quiz to prove which one you were. How can you be a direction? And are you only one direction or can you be a few? I'm awfully confused. So much for appearing well educated.

I hope this makes up for my silence before and clears up the confusion on my age and the fact that I don't want to murder you. You have a bit of an over active imagination, huh?

Sincerely,

Your no-longer-a-stranger pen pal,

Harry