I DO NOT OWN FALLEN!
Four: Unexpected
No dreams had found me that night when I awoke.
I woke with the warmth of Jack's chest against my back, and his arm was wrapped protectively around me as he would always do in his sleep. I glanced over at the mechanical clock on my night stand and saw that it was barely Five a.m. and still slightly dark. Last night was like very few when I would not dream of the boy and girl.
I remember a time when I had not dreamt of them for almost a week and thought that they had finally left me for good. Until one day they had found me once again. But something was different about this particular time. I somehow felt a sense of closure with those dreams now. But I also felt somewhat sadness for their departure, because they had also given me comfort in thinking I could be loved like that by someone. But lying right here in Jack's strong arms, I knew that I no longer needed them because I was loved by someone like that now.
I slowly turned around in my bed careful not to wake Jack, and cuddled my face in his warm chest while I wrapped my arm around his large frame. His own arm around me tightened behind my back pressing me further into his chest. It felt so good and comforting to be this close to someone now, and to no longer need the faded memories of those dreams to fantasize about being in love.
His hand pressed against my back had trailed upward to the back of my head. Gently he ran his fingers through my hair and moved his face to the top of it and inhaled my scent. I had showered last night and used my regular shampoo that had the same familiar lavender that he was accustomed to.
I lifted my head to face his eyes and saw that they were just barely beginning to open, revealing their wondrous forest green color. A small smile had appeared on his face when he looked into my eyes and lowered his lips to capture mine in a sweet good-morning kiss. I had gladly accepted it and slowly massaged my lips against his. He then slipped his other arm underneath me to embrace me as our kiss had continued in its wake. My hold on him had tightened as I secured my one free arm around him. I wanted more of him and sought to get as much as I could as if I would never get the same amount ever again.
My heart had raced beyond infinity and I could feel it beating against my rib cage, aching to break free to reach the endless love that Jack was giving me. Our legs had intertwined underneath the bed sheets, releasing more of his body heat into my own. His sweet and spicy scent had still lingered on him and within the bed sheets, and I inhaled all of which had been remained relishing it as it would slowly begin to blind my sense of smell.
His tongue had eased its way into my mouth and passionately traced my own. His mouth had tasted a bit raw due to not brushing for almost eight hours but that didn't bother me right now at all. I was completely intoxicated by every touch, smell, and taste of him that nothing would prevent me from savoring anything that was given off by him.
We had continued to just hold one another and kiss for what felt like hours but was probably only a few short minutes. Once we had felt that we finally had enough of each other we broke apart to fully gather the others features. He gazed deep into my eyes with that lost and beautiful look on his face, as if he were losing himself in their sight. He then lifted his warm hand and caressed it against my cheek. I gently put my own hand against his and leaned into his warm heavenly touch, feeling as if I were melting away into sweet bliss. I looked back into his eyes while trying to put on a familiar look on my face.
"Good morning," I said to him releasing a sigh.
"Morning babe," he said while smiling back at me, and lowered his lips to kiss my forehead.
"Babe?" I asked.
"Just thought I'd give it a try," he said, bringing his face back and winking at me.
"Oh," I said, "what else are you going to try?" I asked, furrowing my eyebrows.
"Nothing beyond sensuality," he said, "...yet." he finished, revealing a small grin.
"Sounds tempting," I said back to him, returning his grin.
"Better not try anything, cause I might not be able to control myself," He warned, and leaned in to kiss me on my lips.
"I'll try my best to behave," I said after breaking our kiss. Resting my head back against Jack's strong and warm chest, I still felt drowsy from last nights sleep. I could feel Jack secure his hold on me and knew that he probably felt the same effect as well.
"Do we have to get up so soon?" he asked with a sigh.
"No," I answered, "we can stay like this for a little longer."
"Good," he said, holding me close to him and breathing in my presence. It had been such a long time since we were ever this close. All of the dreams I had over summer had completely robbed my memories of Jack and I ever being near each other. I had not once ever thought or longed to be this close to him that upon realizing it now had made the fact that isolating myself from him all this time had hurt only more.
"I've missed being this close to you," I said within the brief silence between us, burring my face into his chest once again.
Jack sighed again and tightened his hold on me while gently rubbing his face in my hair.
"I've missed this too," he said back with the same longing tone in his voice.
"Have you ever... felt this way about me before?.. Ever?" I asked.
"To be completely honest with you..." he began softly, "Yes, I have... When we had first had met each other in Jr. High that is. It was more of a boy crush in the beginning, but I really wanted to know more about you first before I made any permanent decisions about my feelings. As I slowly began to see more of you each day, my crush for you slowly began to decease because you were such a great friend to me. And then... that day happened. I was so enraged about what they had... or were going to do to you, the thought of you being mistreated in any way had made me ache." he buried his face in my hair.
"After the events of that day I never wanted to see you hurt that way again. I only wanted happiness to be in your life but, I know that that's never a guarantee. So I sought to give you any ounce of happiness I could find for you, and slowly my love for you came back but in a different form. I had truly never let go of the thought of us being together like this. But if you would have only loved me as a brother and not as you do now, I would rather have that source of love than none from you at all."
"Jack..."
I was completely lost for words. I knew that Jack had loved me, but never in a way that was as far great as he had just revealed to me now. I felt so guilty for never even noticing how strong his love for me had truly been. But I knew that he had intended for it to be that way because he probably didn't want to risk losing what we had already shared in the past. If I had known about how he truly felt back then, maybe we could have been together like this sooner than now. I never really thought of Jack and I being together back then, but I secretly wanted something more from Jack but could never really think what it was until now. This, was what I had desired back then.
All I had wanted now was to be with Jack in this moment, forever. If only forever could possibly exist. I had thought.
With my face still buried in Jack's chest, I had tried my hardest to fight back the tears that were brought by his words, but they had already began to fall. I had so greatly wanted to be loved like this so much , that I was completely blind and ignorant to realize that someone had already felt that source of love for me. My tears had begun to create a small wet spot on Jack's night shirt that he had started to pull away from me.
"What's wrong?" he asked in concern, wiping away my tears with his warm gentle hand.
"I'm in love with you, that's what's wrong," I answered him in between tears and soft sniffs.
"How exactly is that a bad thing?" he asked again smiling, still catching the last remaining tears.
"Because," I began, "maybe we could have been this way a lot sooner, and been happier in the past when we really needed it. Me with my dad dying.. yours leaving out on you... we could have escaped that pain together and replaced it with happiness... with this."
"But I am happy Lucian. I am happier than I think I'll ever be in my entire life. All I have ever wanted from you was your love, and you've given me more than I could ever even imagine having."
I lifted my eyes to him which I could feel were probably pink in color. Again, I had known in the tone of his voice that he had meant each and every word. How was it that Jack's words had such a powerful impact on me? It had felt as if they could even transcend time itself. The very words that he chose to say would echo and linger on in even the darkest of depths in the world and beyond. I have heard words like these before.
I smiled at him and wiped away the remnants of my tears. All I could do after hearing his words were to lean into him and savor every moment that we would have together. From this moment we had now, and to the very last one of us would have with the other. Even then I had known in that moment that death would never tear us part, because a part of me had longingly held on to a belief that our love would never die, and hopefully continue to live on in the hearts and souls it would possibly touch in what could even be a brief lifetime.
After about a half hour of cuddling with Jack I had finally given in to the fact that we both needed to get out of bed. It had only taken me a few minutes to get into the clothes I had picked out to wear the night before, and Jack had put on the clothes he had picked up from his house when he decided to stay the night. I was a little disappointed that he wouldn't be smelling of his sweet and spicy scent as he did yesterday at school, but the fact that he was now my boyfriend had made up for it.
Boyfriend. I had thought.
It seemed a little funny to think about at first, but it also lead to a sense of curiosity. I had never really knew the ground rules as to having a lover or a spouse. In some of the books I read, I'd read some parts where a couple would be making out in a corner or having sex in a car after a first date. But I knew how kind and gentle Jack was and that he most definately wouldn't try anything too far on a first date with me.
What was more of what I had expected was just a simple day out together. Just the two of us and talking about what was going on now in the present and what would possibly be in the future. Just the simplest of things alone had meant the world to me, because they had ensured I had nothing to be worried about or afraid of in that moment.
As Jack was trying to tame his bed head in my bathroom, I had stepped out onto my balcony that was just right outside of my room. This was one of the things that I had really loved about this apartment. With being on the top third floor of the apartment building, I had a breath taking view of all of Savannah.
The tall green trees throughout the entire town had stretch so far and wide that at the right time of twilight, the sun would cast just the perfect amount of light to create a vast sea of dark and light green. As the wind had blown the leaves, their graceful dance in the wind would closely resembled the waves of the ocean.
The color had also resembled that which I would always find looking in Jack's eyes.
As I looked up at the sky I could see that it was not as cloudy as it was yesterday. The twilight had cast swirls of pink and orange to the clouds that were lovely compliments to the trees vast green color. The tall gothic styled buildings of Savannah were a little ironic to be seen in this view but somehow look more beautiful in it as well.
A cool breeze had passed by that had sent a quit shiver up my body as I had gazed out upon the town. That was until I felt strong warm arms wrap securely around me, concealing what little warmth I had left and giving me more in their presence. I had slowly turned around to face Jack and saw that the rising sun had casted a small ray of sunlight on his lightly tanned skin. I returned his embrace and stood on the tips of my feet so that my lips were at level with his, and pressed them against their warm touch in a soft tendered kiss. After we had parted, he gently rested his forehead against mine with his eyes closed and let out a small breath.
"I love you," he said softly, opening his pure forest green eyes.
"I love you too," I said back to him.
I held him close to me.
Jack pulled up in the school parking lot and looked back at me when the ignition was off. My hand was still within the hold of his larger one and had tightened as he inched his face closer to me. His lips had captured mine in a chaste kiss that I wish could have lasted longer and been more seductive in its wake. But I was hoping after our date that we would have much more time together alone, and hopefully explore one another's lips some more.
"We still have about a half hour until school starts," Jack said releasing a quick breath, "we could spend the rest of it all in here?" his eyes glance back at me with a look in them that would have hypnotized me in a heart beat. I immediately would have taken him upon his offer without a second thought, but I also didn't want to rush into anything too soon even before our first date. So instead I used an excuse to lure Jack into what my offer would be.
"As much as I'd want to, unfortunately after the day is over I'll want even more than thirty minutes alone with you" I said to him.
"That sounds reasonable" he said, and places one more kiss on my lips that left the slightest taste of hunger. "Why don't we go meet up with the others, Em and Lucie left a while before us so everyone should be on campus now."
"Yeah, much better than being here 'alone'," I said sarcastically.
He smiled at my comment and we stepped outside his car. The weather in Savannah today was gloomy but beautiful. The grey clouds looked almost like torn fabric that had let some sunlight peek through their jagged openings. Very cool breezes would pass by as Jack and I had walked into the schools gates and seeped into my long sleeved shirt that sent goose bumps trailing up and down my arms. A fresh autumn sent was in the air that had smelled of wet leaves and pavement, and just the slightest trace of lavender.
We begin to walk out towards the courtyard when Jack steps closer to me on my right side. From this distance I could feel the body heat that he had always seemed to naturally give off, and he slowly slipped his hand in my own and interlocked our fingers. Just this simple gesture from him was enough to make my heart skip a beat or two, and I then I gladly secured my own hold on his hand as we walked to our usual spot in the courtyard where we had hung out in since Freshman year.
I could see that Emily and Lucy were talking to John and Charlotte near one of the stone tables by the fountain with the human sized angel statue. They both had worn their usual attire today, Lucie with her black skinny jeans and covers and an old band t-shirt, and Emily in casual blue jeans and a white long sleeved blouse, while both of them had their long wavy hair swaying in the breeze. Charlotte and John were always in their punk-grundge style and somehow always managed to reinvent it almost every day.
Jack and I had casually approached them as we would have done usually, but this time we were holding one another's hand. It was a little strange that I wasn't feeling nervous about holding hands with him, but in a way had also made this gesture seem normal. The majority of the kids at Sword and Cross didn't really care about same sex couples. Although most of the girls would screech with their annoying fan-girl screams at the sight of two guys sharing the slightest amount of what they called "bromance" these days.
Lucie and Emily had greeted us with warm smiles and appeared more happy than they did on a regular day. Charlotte and John had exchanged a few hinted looks of approval at the sight of the two of us in front of them. Then John had rose from his seat on the bench and walked toward Jack with open arms.
"How's my favorite homo?" he asked humorously with a wide grin. Then Jack had released my hand and walked into Johns arms in a tight bear hug. They were almost the same height with Jack being about a couple inches taller and a bit more build to him.
"Great man," Jack answered in the same tone. "How's my favorite ladies man?" Jack asked back, and then he quickly released him and caught John in a head lock. The two of them began their regular routine of just horsing around and oblivious to the rest of us. Jack and John had always shared that casual relationship that you'd expect any athletic and rock star guys to share. Even though John was heterosexual and loved pointing it out by hitting on any good-looking woman that walked by, he never let Jack's opposing sexuality prevent him from getting to know the really nice guy that Jack was.
"Okayokay," John began to pleaded while tapping on Jack's arm in surrender. "I give up, I give up."
Jack began to release John and laughed with his struggle for release, and then the two had their arms over the other's shoulder. John then began to congratulate Jack and me on our new relationship and patted him on the shoulder. As the two of them had began to converse about I walked over to Lucie and Emily. I hadn't seen the both of them since they got back to our apartment late in the afternoon yesterday and felt a little guilty for not spending some time with them.
"Hey Lucie, sorry we couldn't join you at the park yesterday after school," I said apologetically and opened my arms to her for a hug.
She walked over to me with an understanding look in her eyes, and gave me our regular good morning hug.
"It's okay," she said pulling away from me. "You had absolutely no contact at all over the summer, so I thought you two should talk about things in private." her smile had faded into a worried look. "Are you sure everything was alright over summer vacation?"
"Trust me Lu, we're completely alright now. Me and Jack talked things over yesterday back at home, we're happy now." I try to reassure her.
Emily looked back at me with a smirk. "Pretty sure that alone time with Jack was worth it." she raised an eyebrow at the last sentence.
"Yeah," Lucie agreed with the same look, "How exactly did that alone time go with you too."
"It's not what you think, trust me," I told them, raising my hands in defense.
"Alright," Lucie said with a sigh. "Are you guys going to do anything today after school?" she asked with a questioning look.
"Well uh, yeah we are," I tell her. "We planned on going to the Juice Bar down the street after school. Jack also told me that he wanted to play something there for me there too."
Both of them had looked at each other with a look of excitement on their faces.
"Did he tell you what he was going to play for you?" Emily asked in an eager tone.
"Well, no," I answered. " He said that he wanted it to be a surprise." a small smile crosses my face at my last sentence.
"Hmm, what other surprises does he have in store for you," Charlotte mischievously asked right beside Emily. Her shoulders were crossed over a torn black long sleeve shirt with dirty blonde hair and highlights falling over them.
"Nothing that I don't know of," I responded in the same tone.
"Oh, well, hope the two of you have fun," Lucie said in an almost warning tone.
As Jack and John had finished their horseplay, they approached us at the table and John had directed a wide grin towards me and help his arms out.
"Hey there cutie," he said in a teasing tone. I returned his wide grin and walked into his arms and he held me in a tight bear hug. Because of how tall he was like Jack, I had to turn my head to the side and rest it against his chest.
"Hey there teddy bear," I responded to him, and he released me from his hug while still giving me a bright and warm smile.
Like Jack, John had also been like an older brother to me. With Jack being his close friend and was always so caring and protective of me, the instinct slowly came over John himself and then became a second big brother. And soon afterwards he'd be giving me tight-crushing bear hugs on a daily basis.
After we shared our casual greetings, the four noted bell had signaled the start of classes. Emily, Charlotte, and Lucie all had first period History together and had said their goodbyes and headed to their class. I had first period English with John and my last two classes after lunch were both with Jack, and given our current status I couldn't be more thankful for that.
When the girls had gone off to their class Jack came up to me with an affectionate look in his eyes and held out his arms to me.
"One for the road," he said with a smirk. I laughed under my breath and walked into his strong arms for a warm hug and stood on the tips of my shoes to kiss him on the lips. Jack then had held me more securely to him to keep our kiss intact and lengthen its duration.
"Ugh," John had groaned in almost irritation. I knew that he accepted our new relationship, but it also never occurred to me that he would be bothered by the two of us just kissing in front of him, given his own opposing sexuality. Of course that thought had immediately ceased by his next remark. "Come on Jack, be a real man and get some tongue in there."
I couldn't help but laugh at his sly comment as my lips were still locked with Jack's. Breaking away, Jack had shot a quick accusing glare at John revealing just the slightest hint of humor in them. I guess things won't seem so different between us after all. In fact, they're also in some way almost better.
All throughout the school day, I couldn't help but wonder what our first date would be like, and if I'd be willing enough to hold his hand in the public view of the juice bar. I figured we'd just sit and talk about one another, but we already knew so much about each other it almost seemed pointless for a date. But just one day alone with Jack felt really good to think about. Even though hanging out together seemed familiar, this approach to our current relationship seemed entirely new and unexpected. I also began to wonder what song he would be playing. Playing for me.
The Juice bar was widely know by the town kids for hosting its karaoke performances, well, mostly for the really good ones that Jack would preform. There were a couple of times that I too would preform with him, but I was more of a Bethoveen type of musician and liked to keep my music for myself.
When school had finally ended, I began to feel a little nervous about going out. But when Jack had interlocked our fingers and held my hand all throughout the walk to the school parking lot, all that worry ceased to be. It never amazed me at how his presence could calm all worries and fear that crashed and broke inside of me. He always carried an aura with him that calmed even the most unsettled hearts. He had even helped an elderly woman in the town park who had Alzheimer's, and helped her remember her own whereabouts and then kindly escorted her home.
I felt very fortunate to have had Jack in my life as a friend, and even more fortunate to have him now as a boyfriend.
I really wanted to know how his summer was due to the fact of our communication over the break was very brief. Maybe he learned or wrote some new songs on his guitar. I never really noticed how long it had been since I'd heard him play and sing. Now my urge to see his performance for me was only beginning to rise due to this realization.
We began the short drive to the small downtown area in Savannah and moved on to the street the juice bar was on. As he parked his car just along the side walk a few doors down to the juice bar, my heart began to rise a little. I was just a few footsteps away from what would be my afternoon with Jack, and I couldn't wait to see what would become of it.
Walking through the front side of the glass coated doors we were greeted by one of the workers that we had known since the first time we came here back in Junior High, Kacey.
"Hey guys, long time no see," she said with her lively voice, bringing us into a tight hug. "It's so great to have our best musicians back, this place has been a total hipster hang-out over the summer."
"Don't worry Kace," Jack reassured her. "I'll be playing a little something tonight that will hopefully bring the place back to it's former glory." he looked around the tables that were occupied by about twenty-five people or so, and most of them were kids from our school. The Juice bar I could tell had still been remodeled for the summer. They had their Hawaiian punch and smoothie specials on the board over the ordering counter. They also still had beach themed decorations that still gave off a warm summer vibe, given how cool the weather was really like outside.
"Awww, that's great," Kacey said. "Will it be a classic or something new?"
"Well, uh, actually it'll be original," Jack sounded a bit hesitant.
My eyes had widen a bit at his words. Jack wrote an original song?! I had thought. Jack had always loved doing covers and performing at karaoke. Even though he was always a bit nervous as to write something of his own because he feared it might not be good. This discovery however, had only made the day all the more enjoyable. Jack would be singing something that he wrote himself. And he'd be singing it for me!
"Oh wow, really?" Kacey said in amazement. "I've never heard anything original from you. I bet it'll be good given your taste in music."
"Oh, well uh, thanks Kace," Jack muttered while scratching the back of his head with a shy smile. It was kind of cute seeing someone as big and confident as Jack being embarrassed by just a little bit of acknowledgement.
"Don't mention it Jackie, you're really talented," she said with a wink. "Well, performances start in about another twenty minutes, so the two of you can just have a drink and wait." she gestured us to a free table, and went off to retrieve our usual drinks that she knew we always shared.
When the two of us were let at our table I looked back at Jack and saw that his usual smirk was on his face.
"Why didn't you tell her that, you know, we're together and, that this is a date?" I asked.
"Well, cause this is our day together," Jack said to me, the look in his eyes becoming more focused. "All I want right now is to just spend time with you." He gave me his best loving and warm smile.
Just those words alone were enough to make my heart leap. And that smile that he gave me that was always so casual seemed entirely knew at the same time. It was almost as if I were discovering a new side of Jack I never knew existed thanks to what we share together now.
A couple minutes after we settle at our tables Kacey came back with our usual drinks. Mine was a lemonade drink mixed with four different types of berries and Jack had a fruit smoothie mixed with a sprite and fruit syrup. Kacey told us that today there would only be two performances today including Jacks.
She said that the other performer was a new guy in town and she said that she thought that he was a pretty good singer, and that he was kind of hot. As we enjoyed our drinks and waited till they would announce the performances Jack had looked down to his drink that he held and had looked almost sad.
"Hey Jack, is everything alright?"
"Yeah, just a little down." he muttered under his breath, trying to crack a smile.
"Well, hey what's wrong? Did something happen over the summer?
"Yeah..." he sounded a bit more adrift.
"What happened Jack?... Was it something bad?" I began to sound more worried.
"My best friend completely avoided me for two and a half months straight." his eyes had found mine in their fixed glance.
"But, I answered your call on my birthday," I said, trying to reason with him.
"Yeah, but that conversation lasted for less than a minute." his tone sounded more angered.
I paused at his last sentence, I remembered that day a little too well. Jack had called me through my cell since I had not been responding to any of his texts and passing the more urgent ones with 'okays' and 'yeahs'. The dreams had first begun to awaken a few weeks prior to my birthday and had only become more apparent afterwards.
The almost sense of reality that they had given off had made me a bit scared as to thinking they possibly could be subconscious feelings that I felt about Jack. But I also couldn't help but wonder if they also held an even deeper meaning, one that I somehow knew existed in that vast simulation of my reality.
There were also some occasions when I wouldn't sleep for a few days and I'd develop bags under my eyes that would also redden.
"Jack," I began. "I spent the entire summer thinking I was losing my mind with the dreams. Things were just very complicated at that time and I really didn't want you to see me that way. I didn't want you thinking that I was crazy, and... I was afraid you'd reject me." I couldn't help but look away from his eyes and rest them on my one hand beside my drink.
I did give a lot of thought during the summer as to how I could be making Jack feel by shutting him out, but I never knew that I could also be hurting him. When I felt the warmth of his hand cover mine and looked up to face him, there was a small smile on his face and a wide understanding look in his eyes.
"Luke," he began, bringing down the slight anger in his voice to a soft tone. "you were my best friend. You could tell me anything, and it wouldn't change the way that I'd think about you. And as for worrying about rejection, I still love you the same way I did when we were friends. The only difference now is, we can make our love stronger in a way that we never could have in the beginning."
"Thank you, Jack. And I really am sorry for making you worry." I said to him, and positioned my hand so that it was now locked with his own. "I love you too."
We shared a brief look at one another in silence when one of the microphone on the small stage in the back of the juice bar had buzzed on. Kacey was standing on the stage and wore her casual jeans and convers, along with an apron over what I could make out was probably a Nirvana t-shirt that showed the Juice Bar logo. She put on her bright smile and spoke in her cheerful-uplifting voice as she had announced the start of karaoke.
"Hey guys, hope everyone had a great vacation over the summer!" almost the entire crowed had responded with a loud 'yeah!'. "Yeah, that's great to hear. Well for today we'll be having only two performances, but one especially, will be from one of our most favorite musicians, Jackson Welch!" she gestured with her hand to our table.
"Yeah Jack!" someone in the audience had yelled, followed by an applause of claps and cheers from the others.
Jack had responded with a wave of his hand, and then had gotten up from our table in the middle of the juice bar and headed for the stage. As he walked up the three steps of the stage, he looked a lot taller than he usually did and then sat on the stool with the store owned guitar and two microphones already set for him. One for the guitar, and one for his voice.
As he positioned himself with the guitar strap over his shoulder and his hands in place on the neck and strings, he raised his face to the higher positioned mic.
"Hey guys long time no see," he began with his soft and deep voice, the mic only adding to its tenderness. "well, today's going to be a bit different because I'll be playing an original song that I wrote over the summer, and it's called Here Without You." the audience had applaud for him once again again.
"I'd also like to dedicate this song to a very special someone, who I just couldn't stop thinking about over the summer," then there were a few high pitch 'woos' that came from the audience. At the same time, my heart had skipped a beat from a very special someone. If he had written it over the summer when things weren't going quite so well, I wondered if it would be a sad song or maybe an uplifting one given to Jack's own character.
As he motioned his fingers over the strings and began plucking the lower strings, my heart had steadied. The first few chords were low, but also were somehow longing as if yearning to feel something. Then he began to sing, with his delicate but strong voice.
A hundred days have made me older
Since the last time that I saw your face.
A thousand lies have made me colder
And I don't think I can look at this the same.
All the miles that separate
Disappear now when I'm dreamin' of your face.
His gaze fixes at me and the look in his eyes becomes more longing. Then he then begins to strum the stings with his middle finger and thumb and makes their notes louder along with his voice. He creates with both the guitar and his voice a euphoria of music from just two instruments, but it also leaves a feeling of loss and sorrow.
I'm here without you
But you're still on my lonely mind.
I think about you, and I dream about you all the time.
I'm here without you
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight, it's only you and me.
He holds the last note and raises it a couple of notes and then gradually ceases its sound.
The miles just keep rollin'
As the people leave their way to say hello
I've heard this life is overrated
But I hope that it gets better as we go.
He smiles at me after singing the last line of the second verse. But then the chorus comes back and that longing emotion returns with it.
I'm here without you
But you're still on my lonely mind.
I think about you, and I dream about you all the time.
I'm here without you
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight, it's only you and me.
He holds the not a little longer and then immediately ceases its sound and then sings what I think must be the bridge the bridge. As he strums and shifts between cords his body begins to sway with the music, revealing how much emotion he's pouring out with every chord.
Everything I know, and anywhere I go,
It gets hard but it won't take away my love.
And when the last one falls, when its all said and done.
It gets hard but it won't take away my love.
The look in his eyes becomes less sadden and longing, and begin to show a more loving and appreciating look. When he sings the last part of the song that is ultimately the one that holds the most sorrow, he sings it with the most honest smile on his face and raises his voice in a more positive tone.
I'm here without you
But you're still on my lonely mind.
I think about you and I dream about you all the time.
I'm here without you
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight, it's only you and me.
The last note he sings with a soft hold and then gradually ceases it like he did in the beginning, but in a manner of ending something sad with acknowledging that he still held on to what he lost. Or what he thought he had lost.
The entire audience had risen from their seats and greatly applauded Jack's performance giving him the grandest standing ovation he probably ever received. I too had risen from my seat applauding him with all the emotions that were desperately escaping me. As Jack had stepped down from the stage and began to walk towards me, I couldn't help myself in that moment.
When he was about four steps away from me, I took the last remaining steps and immediately brought my lips up to his while wrapping my arms around his broad shoulders.
I had my eyes closed while I was kissing him but could tell by the feeling of his stance that he was surprised. He had just sang what could have been his entire heart out to me-and just me-, that I didn't care that we were surrounded by a large group of people while we were kissing each other.
The feeling had only intensified when I felt Jack's strong arms wrap around my waist and returned my kiss. I expected the audience to cease their applause, but even through our intimate moment I could only hear their cheers become louder.
When we had broken apart I looked around the Juice Bar to see that everyone was giving us their brightest smiles of joy and happiness for the two of us. Some of the girls in the back were even crying at the sight of me in Jack's arms. As the two of us smiled and thanked the audience with appreciation in our faces the cheering slowly died down and Kacey had reappeared at the stage, which I could see from her slightly pink eyes that she was probably crying from Jack's performance as well.
"Oh my god, wasn't that something or what?!" she said in pure joy, and the audience responded with a loud cheer for Jack. "Well as beautiful and astouding as that performance was, we still have one more to see. This next performer is new here in town but sounds like he came from a band that hit the billboard charts!" her gaze had fixed in the far left corner of the Juice bar. "Please give it up, for Daniel Grigori!"
My heart had clenched in almost recognition at that name.
Daniel...
Song used in chapter: Here without you by Three Doors Down.